


Providence

by crudescere



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Anal Sex, Angst, Drugs, Got7 Ensemble - Freeform, I'll add more tags in the future, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Jaebum and Jinyoung's parents are OCs, M/M, Mafia AU, Markson on the side, More OCs i guess - Freeform, Oral Sex, There's also YugBam, Violence, but they aren't elaborated enough, but they're just being their usual crack self
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2019-08-28 13:30:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 167,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16724319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crudescere/pseuds/crudescere
Summary: It was not an arranged marriage, but it was forced nonetheless - Park Jinyoung wassoldto Im Jaebum. He ought to hate him, hate who he is and what he stands for instead, Jinyoung finds hating himself and what he's becoming.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi friends!  
> First of all, I want you to know that this is my new account. My previous works are still at [got7sbitch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/got7sbitch) but from now on, I'll be posting here. so yeah...  
> Also, this is far from what I've done before. I don't know if you'll like it but I hope you do!  
> So without further ado, I bring you this mafia au.

 I

  

A fronte praecipitium, a tergo lupi

(A precipice in front, wolves behind)

\- Adagia in Latine and English, Bartholomew Robertson

 

 

The party was in full swing. Important men, in their line of work at least, loitered the whole ceremonial hall with their female companions – wives, daughters, and sisters – any woman in their family respectable enough to be brought into an event like this. An abundant array of food lined up the sides of the room while countless footmen offered refreshments and liquors to the guests. Jaebum would bet his right kidney that every bit of food in the extravagant banquet was subjected to his mother’s strict recipe and endless taste tests before being _allowed_ to be on the table. God forbid, his mother will never let a party hosted by their family serve food that had not been approved by her. It was the woman’s sole mission, Jaebum liked to think – to distract the world with their wealth and sheer elegance while his father did the actual _work_.

A numerous amount of people greeted him, of course, he had been expecting that. However, what he did not expect were the subtle propositions he kept on getting ever since he stepped foot into the room. It amused him at first but he quickly became suspicious. It was one thing for _made_ men to flirt with one another, it was an entirely different case when _associates_ and family members do so. He did not even know what this party was for, why every men and their families were gathered. It had to be something important for the Don to request a big scale event like this, considering the risks it brought to the _famiglia_.

Jaebum saw Jackson approach him. He was decked out in a two-piece navy suit that Jaebum was sure to cost three thousand dollars, minimum.

“Hey.” Jaebum greeted his brother and accepted the flute of champagne he offered. “Have you seen father already?”

Jackson shrugged and took a sip from his own glass of champagne. “Nah, but I saw Sooyeong’s father. You know, Park? And you wouldn’t believe it but he offered her to me.”

“Same thing happened to me. A _lot_ of them, actually. What do you think is going on?” Jaebum had no inkling on what was happening. It seemed like everyone was trying to garner his favor and be on his good side. “What is this party for anyways? It’s risky gathering everyone here, not to mention also inviting their families. What does father want?”

“I don’t know, man. I saw mother when I got here and tried asking but she only said to enjoy the party.” Jackson said, halting a footman that carried a tray of pastries. He took a plate of macarons and moaned when the dessert easily melted in his mouth, “Damn, I can never get used to how good mom’s cooking is. She puts all those five-star restaurants to shame.”

That, Jaebum can agree. Im Hyejin is one hell of a woman. It was a trait one must absolutely possess – not the cooking talent but the strength – to stand beside the Don of the Im famiglia.

“I see Mark coming over.” Jackson said drily. Jaebum never understood the intricacy of his brother’s relationship with Mark but he noted that it must be something serious for Jackson to be affected this much just by the mere sight of the said man.

“Jaebum, Jackson.” Mark nodded towards them, “The Don requests all made men be in the back office within five minutes.”

“Did he say what for?” Jackson replied.

“No, and I didn’t ask. The Don’s word is absolute, anyways. We don’t need explanations.” Mark countered back.

Jaebum knew the two were talking in a different context, something personal, that he will never understand unless someone explained it to him. However, they did not have the time to be lounging around when five minutes was all that was given.

“Come on, guys. Continue whatever issue you have later. The Don called, the family comes first.”

 

 

“Is everyone here?” Im Seongwoo said. His authority can be felt with how the room was utterly silent. A pin dropping would undoubtedly be heard with the way everyone was holding their breaths in front of the Don.

Jaebum, no matter how many times he had been subjected to, will always be in awe at how his father commanded and brought men to their knees with just a handful of words. Even Jackson, for all his easy going personality, was standing still and mum.

“I suppose everyone is.” Seongwoo started, “You might be wondering why I called for everyone tonight, and in such a short notice at that. I don’t have to thank your presence because it is what your duty requires of you. Rule number one,” he turned towards Jaebum, “What is the first rule, Jaebum?”

It came automatically. He had memorized the rules and codes since he was a young boy, even before he was _made_. It was etched deeply into his soul, an extension of him. “Always being available for Cosa Nostra is a duty – even if your wife’s about to give birth.” Jaebum recited, accurate down to the last letter.

“So, is anyone missing? I won’t repeat myself.” Seongwoo stated. Too calm for Jaebum’s liking. Someone is going to die tonight.

A young capo, Jaebum remembered his name to be Yugyeom, spoke. “Han Taemin is not here.”

“What is your name, young man?” The Don asked.

“Kim Yugyeom, boss.” Yugyeom said and Jaebum had to give respect to the guy for not shitting in his pants.

“So, Yugyeom. Do you know why Han Taemin is not present?”

“No, boss. Our streets are beside each other and I saw him today. Just that, I don’t know why he’s absent.” Yugyeom answered.

A few seconds passed as the Don took a seat behind the massive oak table at the center of the room. “Very well, then.” He said, “Jackson, you know what to do.”

Jackson, surprised to be addressed with such a matter when Jaebum was in the same room, was about to protest but thought otherwise. Jaebum let out a relieved sigh, the Don might be their father but he would not tolerate any disrespect from anyone. In the famiglia, Im Seongwoo was boss; Jaebum and Jackson are just men of honor.

“I have an important matter to announce.” The Don said, “I am stepping down from being boss.”

Gasps were heard, then silence. Everyone seemed to be expecting the news in one way or the other, or else protests and complaints would have risen already. Still, majority of the members displayed various states of shock in their faces. One example was Jaebum.

He was surprised. Hell – that was an understatement. He did not see this coming, not at all. Jaebum knew his father was well beyond his years and had served the famiglia more than enough for the past thirty years. Im Seongwoo made an empire. But what of the consequences of stepping down? There were other famiglias who will take this chance and strike them down while they adjust to the new leadership, whoever that might be. The Ims might be the strongest one in the underground scene but this will throw them off their game. And that his father never once told Jackson and him any plans of retiring? Jaebum was pissed.

Yet, it made sense. All the propositions he got this evening – it all made sense, Jaebum realized. The others must have suspected this was going to happen and thought it was only reasonable that Jaebum succeed his father. Jaebum will be don. He panicked.

“You all know how this goes. The famiglia was never about the bloodline. It is about the trust we forge between us that makes us more united, more a family than what blood can offer.” Seongwoo said, “ _Anyone_ can be head of the family so long as he deserves it. The position for the boss is now open for nominations.”

No one uttered a word. Jackson glanced at Jaebum, as if asking if he wanted to be nominated but Jaebum gave a tiny shake of his head. He was not ready for the responsibility. He deemed he will never be.

Jaebum thought of his brother instead. Jackson was strong-willed, sly and a magnificent negotiator. He will fit the position better than him. Jaebum was contented at his current position of being underboss; he will work well with Jackson’s leadership. He opened his mouth to cast his nomination when a capo, someone with graying hair that he vaguely remembered to be one of his father’s closest friends, beat him to it.

“I nominate Im Jaebum as boss.”

Jaebum’s eyes widen in shock as he whipped his head towards his father, and he swore he saw a shadow of a smile at the corner of Seongwoo’s lips. Jackson beamed at him and spoke up, “I vote for Im Jaebum.”

To his horror, choruses of _I vote for Im Jaebum_ flooded the room right after – Jaebum could not believe it. Not a single name other than his was mentioned. He felt his palm sweat and his heart rate picked up. This was happening all too quickly.

“Does anyone object of Im Jaebum?” His father asked and the crowd went silent. “Then, it’s closed. Im Jaebum is don of the famiglia.” He stood up and went to the side. He ushered Jaebum to take the center of the room and give his word.

Jaebum looked at the people inside the room. Around fifty men, all dangerous looking and now, his subordinates. It was surreal. He never thought that this day will come – that he will be in command of all what the name _Im_ stood for. It was so much power.

“Thank you for giving me the honor of leading the family.” Jaebum gulped, “Now that I am don, the position of underboss is open. Any nominations?”

Jaebum was racked with worry. He has to have an underboss that he can work with or else, this empire – now his, will crumble down. He was aware that he had a severe temper and that he was, has ever been, easy to rile up. Jaebum needed someone who can match his personality and if necessary, punch him out of it. And Jaebum only had one man in mind. However, as don, he cannot cast a nomination. He can only hope that someone will put in Jackson’s name.

The heavens must have heard Jaebum’s plea as Mark’s voice resonated throughout the silent room. “I nominate Im Jackson as underboss.”

Jackson looked surprised to get nominated and by Mark at that. The crowd automatically broke out into hushed murmurs and Jaebum grew irritated when he heard someone let out a malicious comment against his brother. He took a deep breath. Decorum, it was what the mafia was all about.

“Silence.” He all but roared and the room went still – he can get used to this new sense of authority. “If you have something to say, raise your hand and say it out in the open like the fucking men that you are. Do not gossip like a whore.”

Someone from the back shouted. “Isn’t it going to be unfair if Jackson becomes the underboss? It’s going to be a family dynasty if that happens. And then what of us? I thought the famiglia is not about familial bloodlines.”

Jaebum’s blood started to boil. Were these going to be his men? Jaebum had to correct their attitude. “Is the votation done? Did I say Jackson is underboss? No, I did not. You couldn’t keep your mouth shut and assumed. You could’ve simply nominated another candidate instead of whispering like fucking idiots. It’s called an election for a reason.” Jaebum pinched the bridge of his nose. “Now, any another nominations?”

The same guy from the back said with a huff, “Kim Minseo.”

“Okay, Kim Minseo. Anyone else?” Jaebum pointedly looked at everyone and they all shook their head no. He continued, “So those in favor of Im Jackson, say aye.”

To Jaebum’s surprise, majority of the crowd said aye. He looked at Jackson who appeared to be tense and rigid as a rod.

Jaebum continued, “Those in favor of Kim Minseo, say aye.”

As he hoped, only a handful of people agreed. Jaebum nodded, “Im Jackson is underboss. If you have objections, it is the time to voice them out and state your reasons.” He dared them but no one uttered a word. “So it is final.”

Jaebum saw Jackson finally loosen up. He turned towards Jaebum and smiled curtly, and Jaebum knew that Jackson was dying to jump and scream out of joy but he could not – not with the other made men around. He had to put up a strong and respectable front; he had to start letting people know he was not all joke – that Im Jackson was just as formidable as his brother.

Jaebum coughed to get the attention of everyone in the room, “Let us work together to make the family stronger. Let them fear our name. Let us toast to this new beginning.”

 

 

Jaebum dismissed the crowd, told them to continue enjoying the night since the next day, business will resume. He slumped back on the chair, opting to remain in the room to collect his thoughts before facing everyone again – as their don. Jackson sat on the desk and on the other side of the room, his dad pulled up a cigarette from inside his coat pocket.

Jackson whistled, “Man, look at you. A fucking don?”

Jaebum glared, “Shut up.”

“Aw, man. Don’t be so hard on your underboss.” Jackson said, “Thanks for standing up for me, by the way. I know you almost lost your temper there.”

“They had no right to judge you.” Jaebum looked at Jackson, he hoped that the other could feel his sincerity. “You, me, _everyone_ in this fucking business work to earn his keep. We’re not here just because we are Seongwoo’s sons.” He said adamantly. Jaebum will not let anyone think that of them. He and Jackson worked their asses off to deserve being made. They endured the same training, spilled their own blood and sweat in the process – no tears, tears are for the weak – just like everyone else did. They were proud Mafioso.

Jackson smiled gratefully at Jaebum. He might not be real blood brothers with Jaebum but the bond they share, it was more than that. They were strongly loyal to each other.

Seongwoo puffed out a smoke. “I have to hand it to you, son. That was amazing temper control you did there, considering it’s _you_.”

“I still can’t believe you didn’t say anything about this. You could’ve given us a warning.” Jaebum rolled his eyes.

“Yah, you may be the boss now but I am still your father. Do not roll your eyes at me.” Seongwoo scolded. “And what good would telling you do? It’s not as if it was certain you’ll be don.”

“The others seemed to know.” Jaebum mumbled.

Jackson piped up, “Yeah! I was propositioned a lot tonight, dad. Jaebum, too. What should we do about that?” Jaebum, not for the first time, envied the way his brother was always easy going and carefree.

Seongwoo tapped the ash out of his cigarette on the tray carefully perched on his leg, “I know you both understand how important marriage is in this life. The Commission will never acknowledge you as a true head of a family without a wife.”

Jaebum groaned. How could he forget about the Commission? He had been through enough meetings to acknowledge them as a great deal of pain in the ass. It was an organization the head of South Korea’s mafia families call themselves. The Ims, the Sons and the Bangs. He did not have any problem with the Sons. Son Hyunwoo was a pretty agreeable guy if not too soft for Jaebum’s liking. It helped that their territories were on opposite ends of the country with the Ims taking up the north and the Sons, south. Also, both their famiglias ran on Cosa Nostra rules – meaning, they almost have the same values and codes of honor. Both families were direct descendants of the Italian mafia, after all. It was the Bangs that Jaebum had a problem with. They did not have the same set of rules a Cosa Nostra family had and their leader, Bang Yongguk, just rubbed Jaebum the wrong way. Add to that the feud Jackson had with one of their capos and Jaebum was already thinking of stepping down from being don.

Jaebum stared at his father with all the seriousness he can muster and said, “You know I don’t plan on marrying.”

“And you also know that no one in the Commission, and by extension their familiglias, will accept you as boss. Unless you want to destabilize _our_ own family and let them wage war, I suggest you do.” Seongwoo raised an eyebrow and although he was passive on the outside, the consternation in his tone as if _threatening_ Jaebum did not go unheard. “Believe me, Yongguk will be pleased to run our streets bloody.”

Jaebum groaned again to which Jackson laughed, earning him a hard shove that caused him to fall off the desk. Jaebum relished in the small victory. “I don’t have anyone right now. Where would I even find a wife?”

“You know, Jaebum, if that’s your problem, I can introduce you to some. I _know_ people.” Jackson wiggled his brows from the position he was at, on the floor. Jaebum scoffed, if any of the men outside saw Jackson sprawled on the floor, he had no doubts that they would retract their votes in a split second.

“I don’t want your leftovers, Jackson.” Jaebum said, then added for good measure, “Unless, it’s Mark of course. He’s pretty.”

Jackson, in an instant, looked absolutely livid. “Do not make that joke again, brother. I won’t hesitate to blow your fucking head off the next time you do.” He said, solemnly.

Seongwoo clicked his tongue and commented, “Jackson, in case you are forgetting, the don is to be respected at all times. Also, rule number eight: never resort to violence, or even threaten, in a dispute with a member or associate of your or another family.”

“Yeah, and I say rule number four: do not touch the wives or lovers of other men of honor.” Jackson countered, not at all derailed by Seongwoo’s chastising.

“Relax, relax. I was only joking, Jacks. I won’t do that to you.” Jaebum raised his hands up in surrender. “But really, lover? You’re that serious about Mark, huh?”

“Shut the fuck up.” Jackson released an agitated breath. “But back to you. I agree with father, you do need a wife.”

Seongwoo stood up from his chair and walked towards the desk Jaebum was sitting at. As he passed by Jackson, he kicked the boy who was sprawled comfortably on the marble floor, “Stand up. You’re making a fool out of yourself, son.”

He opened the top drawer, retrieved a brown envelope and handed it to Jaebum. “Here, read this.”

Jaebum was good with his gut feeling; his instincts has not betrayed him yet. That was why he was a dangerous man, especially in action. He was a monster, a beast that cannot be tamed and did not hesitate to pull the trigger. It was rarely that he got surprised, but tonight was trying to prove that wrong.

Jaebum expected the contents of the envelope to be a mission he needed to complete as soon as possible or a report about a misuse of their funds or, even, a write up involving the police force. He most definitely did not expect a photo, about the size of a bond paper, to come out of it with the name _Park Jinyoung_ printed at the bottom. More documents fell out of the brown envelope – a thorough background check on the guy in the paper. Jaebum had no clue on what was going on, on what he was supposed to do with the guy. Was this a hit order?

Jaebum looked at his father, “Who is this?”

Jackson, upon hearing Jaebum’s query, perked up and went over to see what the fuss was all about. “Woah, who’s he? He’s cute.”

Seongwoo paced the room, “Park Jinyoung, Park Jintae’s youngest and only son. I suppose you know who Park is?” He gave a pointed look at his two sons.

“Of course.” Jaebum knew everyone who was important, even in the slightest. In their line of business, knowledge was what kept people alive. “He’s the gang leader who owns a property in the middle of our Seoul operations. Fucking shit wouldn’t accept any amount we offer to buy out his land. What about him?” Then Jaebum added, “What about his son? Do I have to take them out?”

Seongwoo let the cigarette he was holding drop to the ground and crushed it with the heel of his shoe, “Park finally let up. He agreed to give us Yeoui-do.”

Jaebum was skeptic. They had been pressing Park Jintae for years but the man never budged. They offered him ridiculous sums of money that will make anyone keel over at the mere sight, but he never wavered. What was it now that finally made him relent? “What’s the catch?”

Jaebum dropped his gaze back to the photo laying on the desk. The guy was _beautiful_. He was easily the most attractive guy Jaebum has seen. However, he has been in the business long enough to know that a pretty face could only get someone so far. He saw people – made, associates, family – who were good looking _fall_.

“He’s selling off his son.”

Jaebum let his father’s words sink in, read between the lines and connected the dots. Park Jintae gave up his turf for Jaebum to marry his son. He let out a loud laugh. Those rats really did not know the first thing about loyalty and family. “He did that? He really auctioned his son just to have a hand in our dealings? Why did you even agree? They aren’t important enough to bring into _our_ family, dad.”

“The man might have been a pain in our asses for years but he isn’t stupid. His son is the same age as you and a virgin. He knows how profitable it is to be a part of our family, Jaebum.”

Jaebum dismissed the virginal status of the guy offered to him. Although being a virgin was a big deal in the mafia world, God forbid his father let him marry someone who has been touched, _tainted_ , by someone else, it was not his top priority. This whole situation kept on getting more and more ridiculous by the second. “There must be something more than that for you to accept his offer.”

“He threatened to sell his property to Bang.” Seongwoo said with obvious contempt.

 Jackson cursed, “Fuck! The man _is_ smart.”

Jaebum agreed. They cannot let Yongguk’s famiglia settle and thrive in the center of their property. It will only bring war especially that they were not in friendly terms with each other. He sighed, there was really no other way around this one. “I don’t have any say in this, do I?”

His father shrugged, “You’re the don now. You do what you have to do for the family.” Seongwoo headed for the door and before he left the room, he said, “Consider this my congratulatory gift to you. I always knew you’d follow in my foot steps, son. Now, do not disappoint me.”

 

 

Jaebum could still remember the moment he and Jackson earned their buttons – the moment they were made. It was not something a Mafioso could forget.

Jackson just turned seventeen, not long after Jaebum. It was luck that they were born in the same year, same month so they generally spent everything doing together – after Jackson got adopted into his family when they were barely six. Jaebum did not know the full details of what happened to Jackson and his biological family. He knew that Jackson was from Hongkong and that his father was a very trusted friend and business partner of Jaebum’s dad. He heard whispers from the other made men that Jackson’s father was a Triad member, China’s biggest syndicate, but he did not delve further. Jaebum presumed that if Jackson wanted him to know, he will be the one to tell him.

They clicked instantly when they found out that the only way to converse then was through English. But after Jackson learned Korean and Jaebum found his way around basic Mandarin, the two immediately became inseparable. Jaebum had never treated Jackson any less than he would treat a blood brother.

They just finished eleventh grade. School was finally out of the way, for the mean time, and that meant more time spent learning the ways of being mafia. Jaebum did not remember any point in his life where he was sheltered away from the way things are. Sure, his father did not talk about it at home since it was his mother's ultimate rule. No business during the weekends and no bringing it home. However, everywhere else he and his brother went, they were greeted with the truth about their identity. They grew up memorizing the Code of Honor alongside the periodic table of elements, learning the differences between a Glock and an Eagle while doing their mathematics homework. Their feet were already wet with the family business even before they were made. They were basically groomed to be _made_. It only made sense as they were sons of a Mafioso, after all – and of the Don at that. So Jaebum was fucking high off adrenaline when two weeks into their school break, his father called up a meeting with all the important made men and ordered for him and his brother to come along.

He and Jackson were ecstatic. The day had finally come. It was probably against the omertà that they knew what was about to happen. It was not supposed to be known when someone might be given their button. Heck, they knew a lot more of the business than what should a mere associate knew. But the brothers were sure there was no other reason as to why unmade men like them are invited to a famiglia meeting. It was all they dreamed of becoming.

Again, it was pure luck that Jaebum and Jackson were initiated simultaneously. An associate could only be made if a made man vouch for him when a seat became open. And that only happened when a made man died. _You do not leave the mafia through will. The mafia claims you for life until death takes over_. It must have been fate dealing its cards that exactly two Mafiosi died.

Jaebum and Jackson stood at one side of the room while all the made men were on the other side, staring at them like one would at a zoo animal behind bars except that Jaebum did not feel like one. No, Jaebum most definitely did not feel cornered – what he saw was something beautiful, out of the ordinary. He was about to enter a new world, full of exceptional people ready to risk their lives to help other men of honor, to vindicate them. What Jaebum felt was power. It was powerful beyond imagination. He stopped himself from glancing towards his brother and give him a grin. He was sure that Jackson was ready to shout, whoop or whatever it was he normally did to express himself.

The Don decided to precede the ceremony. A few other made men could have done it but the boss insisted that it was only fitting that he would be the one to hand his children to the _family_.

The room was deathly silent as Im Seongwoo gestured towards Jaebum and Jackson to step forward to the table in the middle where two sets of initiation paraphernalia laid – a knife, a gun and a picture of a holy saint.

Jaebum almost laughed and struggled to maintain a straight face when he saw who was on Jackson’s card – St. Vitus the patron saint of the dancers and performers. He saw his brother’s lips purse in dismay at the choice but Jaebum thought his father did a wonderful job. The saint was supposed to be a reflection of the inductee’s personality so that he might draw on his saint’s virtues and morals whenever doing the endeavors posed on him by the mafia. And that when a he dies, he would be guided along by his saint to eternal peace. So Jaebum thought that it was just fitting for Jackson to receive a saint as jovial and good-humored as him.

He, on the other hand, was surprised to see St. James as his. The man was not called “Son of Thunder” for no reason. James was known to be hot-headed and was prone to bouts of rage but it was also his temper that was his glory. He took his capacity for anger and allowed grace to transform it into energy for good. Jaebum was startled that his father thought of him like that.

The Don’s powerful voice snapped Jaebum out of his thoughts, “You were baptized when you were a baby, your parents did it. But now, this time, the Mafia will baptize you.”

Jaebum almost did not hear the Don when he told Jackson and him to pick up the knife on the table from the way his blood pounded hard in his ears. He picked up the dagger and did as what he was told – he cut the skin of his palm, making a gash across and he stared as blood seeps out from it. He then held the picture of his saint between his hands.

He knew what would come next. The Don brought out a match and lit the card he was holding. Jaebum let out a soft hiss escape his lips from the way the flame started licking the wound in his skin. The pain made him want to drop the picture but he knew that he could not. It was all part of the ritual. All that was left for him and Jackson to do was profess their loyalty.

“I swear to be loyal to Cosa Nostra. I enter alive and I will have to get out dead. May my flesh be burned like this sacred picture if I betray the oath.”

The Don’s voice resonated throughout the room in response, “This blood means that we are now one family. You live by the gun and the knife and you die by the gun and the knife.”

Jaebum held onto the picture until it was all ash. Beside him, he heard his brother exhale in relief. It was over. They did it. He was finally Mafioso.

 

 

Jackson disturbed Jaebum’s peace. He found that whenever he was having a hard time, he gets into the habit of replaying his initiation ritual. Jaebum guesses it to be a defense mechanism, a way to remind him that he wanted – wants – this life. He figured it was perfect time to seek help from his saint.

“You’ve been staring into the wall for some time now, brother.” Jackson stated, “Should I be worried?”

Jaebum took a deep breath, “Yeah, I was just thinking.”

“What, about this Park Jinyoung? You know you can’t back out from this one.” The usual mirth that was always laced in Jackson’s voice was gone. “You _can’t_.”

“I know. I just wish I didn’t have to.” Jaebum mentally cursed the Commission.

Jackson patted his brother’s head, “At least he’s pretty. It could have been worse.” Then he hopped down from the table, “But enough of that. We need to get started on business. Since you’re now the Don, and I, the underboss, we need to pick out our consigliere.”

Jaebum almost forgot about that. A consigliere was assigned to be the famiglia’s advisor – sometimes lawyer or doctor, whatever was needed at a specific moment. He had to be well-educated and knowledgeable about everything, and he was not to be directly involved in the business operations. He needed to be smart. And unlike the Don or the underboss, it was not open for election. The position was given to whoever the Don and the underboss chose.

“I say Mark. We should make Mark our consigliere.” Jackson said.

“Uhm, I don’t think so, Jackson.” Jaebum doubted, “That will make everything complicated, don’t you think so?”

“If you are talking about our relationship, you shouldn’t worry. I promise that it will not affect the famiglia. I swear on my life.”

Jaebum raised an eyebrow. For a made man to make a promise out of his life was the grandest display of faith. “Are you sure about this?”

“You _know_ that Mark is the most capable guy in our family. No other made man is a better candidate. He graduated valedictorian at Harvard Law. He has a medical license. He’s well-connected and a great negotiator. He’s achieved so much despite being so young.” Jackson insisted, “Jaebum, no one is better than him to be _our_ consigliere. You know this.”

Jaebum did know all of those. He was even convinced at one point that Mark was not entirely human. No one could have accomplished that much in such a short time without being part deity. He was a little saddened by the thought that had Mark’s parents did not involve themselves with the underground dealings, Mark would have had a decent life. Maybe he would be the nation’s greatest doctor, serving the poor and the needy. He could be someone the public adored and respected. He could be _unmade_ and free from the life he and Jackson lived.

“Alright then. Do not make me regret this, brother.” Jaebum sighed, “Tell Mark Tuan that he is now consigliere to the Im famiglia.”

Jackson beamed and saluted Jaebum before he went out of the room, leaving Jaebum to the deafening silence. He leaned back into his chair and replayed the last hour – when he was still not the boss. However, there was no room to worry. He had to quickly adjust and adapt to his role. His eyes fell back on the large photo laying on the desk. _Park Jinyoung, huh._

The world was now finally in his grasp. He just needed to do one thing to finalize it. Marry Park Jinyoung.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

II

 

Una salus victis nullam sperare salutem

(The one safety for the vanquished is to abandon hope of safety.)

\- The Aeneid Book 2 Lines 353–354, Virgil

 

 

The first time he heard his father, Jinyoung thought the man was pulling his leg. It could not have been any serious and he broke out in mad laughter. However, his father’s face remained impassive and his older sister’s was marred with concern and pity. His laughter died instantly in his throat, choking him in the process. This could not be happening to him.

“You what?” Jinyoung exclaimed loudly.

His father shrugged and opened the daily newspaper, as if he did not just shatter Jinyoung’s soul. “I said, you’re going to the Ims and marry into their family. The handing-off is going to be tomorrow.”

“You can’t do that! You can’t sell me off!”

His father turned a sharp glare towards him, “I can do whatever I want, Jinyoung. And I’m only doing you a favor. You should be _thanking_ me.”

Jinyoung did not, could not, believe what was happening. How can his own father just sell him off like that? Like a damned cattle domesticated and ready for the slaughter house. “Thanking you?” He sounded incredulous, “For auctioning me off to the highest bidder? How much, huh? Tell me how much did they offer for you to sell me like a fucking sheep!”

Jinyoung should have had thought it through before he started shouting at his father. He was well acquainted with how the man dealt with disrespect, having been at the end of the _correcting_ process far too many times. He should not have been surprised when his father stood up abruptly from the dining table and strode towards him in a menacing manner, newspaper crumpled on the ground. He should have expected the blow that was dealt to his right cheek, should have anticipated the kick to his gut that followed. His father truly never spared him any mercy.

“How many times have I told you not to disrespect me, Jinyoung? Didn’t you learn, after all these years?” His father chastised. “You should be glad I did this for you. It’s for your own sake, fucking useless shit that you are. Be grateful that the Ims accepted you even though you’re a complete good for nothing garbage.”

Growing up, Jinyoung had always hated Park Jintae. The man was not a human being; he was a monster. Jinyoung never loved the man but he hoped, oh God how he hoped, that he will at least spare Jinyoung of the underground world – of a life full of crime and violence. He had endured the beatings, the occasional starving. He withstood the pain of being broken down to literal pieces – his skin torn and blood spattered – all for the hope of getting out from the life his family led. Jinyoung thought that if he stayed quiet enough, obedient enough, his father will eventually set him free on his own.

However, all his dreams just vanished before his eyes. His father had finally broken him beyond repair. Jinyoung might as well be dead.

“W-who?” He choked out, clutching at his stomach where his father’s boot landed on a spot already occupied with multiple bruises from the beatings a week before. “At least tell me. Who am I going to marry?”

Jintae broke out into the largest grin Jinyoung ever saw the man wore. “To whom? Of course, only to the best.” Chills ran up Jinyoung’s spine. “Im Jaebum, that’s fucking who.”

Jinyoung felt his soul leave his body. He could not help the wetness that pooled in his eyes. Im Jaebum. He was well updated enough to know that the Im famiglia’s hierarchy shifted just recently. And he was also aware that the current Don went by the same name. Jinyoung wailed in pain.

 

 

Jinyoung sat by his dresser and glared at his reflection. He wore a pure white tuxedo, complete with the vest and bowtie. His father said it was supposed to be a reflection of his purity. Jinyoung scoffed, he deduced that flaunting his virginal state was more for his husband than for him. He was sure that every men who were going to be there at the hand-off ceremony would no doubt see him as property for Im Jaebum to use as the Don deemed fit. Jinyoung wanted to vomit. He thought of ruining the perfect tuxedo but he feared for what his father might do to him if he did. For the fifth time that day, he cursed himself for being such a coward. It would be a thousand times easier if he could just pull through with killing himself. At least, he died by his hands and not of others.

There were only two hours left. Two hours before he was free of his family only to enter another one – one that was worse than his own. Jinyoung knew of the Im famiglia. Anyone in South Korea feared them, and they had good reason to. The mafia family was Cosa Nostra and they embodied all that it was to be one. They were the most powerful, most dangerous crime organization in the country. And on the top of it was where Im Jaebum sat. Jinyoung, even if he has yet to meet the man, despised him already.

Jinyoung willed himself not to cry. He cried once for the man and he will not give Jaebum or his father the satisfaction of his tears again. He gripped the hem of his vest and cursed at the wretched article of clothing. The only reason he was dressed so daintily, with every bit of his hair in place, was for the ceremony. Since Jaebum’s mafia was Cosa Nostra, they observed all religious activities strictly. Jinyoung’s skin crawled at the irony of it. The same people in the mafia who were committing crimes and killing innocent individuals on the daily were also the same people who adhered to Christian traditions and worshipped the same God as him. The blasphemy was staggering.

However, since Jaebum and he were both men, they could not really hold a proper wedding in the church. Hence, it was called the handing-off. The ceremony will take place in one of the Ims’ properties and it will be presided by the mafia’s consigliere. It was the closest to a marriage the mafia could do and it was unbreakable. The mob did not do divorce.

Jinyoung heard the door creek and saw his sister come in. He could not help but be mad at her too. She never did anything untoward him but she also did not protect him from the harsh treatment he received from their father. Being a bystander was just as bad.

“You should put a concealer on your cheek, Jinyoung. The bruise is awful.”

Jinyoung huffed, “Just because you enjoy getting dolled up for your _buyer_ doesn’t mean that I do too. So fuck off.”

His sister sighed and stood behind him. She locked eyes with Jinyoung in the mirror. “Just give it a try, Jinyoung. It worked out for me in the end, maybe yours will too.”

“Did it work out before or _after_ your husband almost killed you?” Jinyoung could still remember the state his sister was in when he got a phone call from the hospital. The doctor stated multiple rib fractures and internal hemorrhage. The doctor also added that he had been called because their father would not go to the hospital stating that his daughter was no longer his responsibility. She had a husband – never mind that it was the same husband who made her dependent on tubes and machines for two weeks.

His sister laid a gentle hand on his shoulder, “Jinyoung, please. It’s not worth the fight.”

Jinyoung did not know if it was her husband or the marriage his sister was pertaining to. But one thing was certain, he would not stop fighting. Even if it were in the smaller, simpler things, he wound not give up total control.

“Here let me help it conceal for you.” His sister took a concealer from the dresser and started dabbing on Jinyoung’s cheek. She gave a soft whimper and Jinyoung only then noticed the tears in her eyes. “I am so sorry, Jinyoung. I’m so sorry for not being a strong enough older sister that could protect you. I’m sorry for just standing at the sides, watching father beat you up.” By now, she stopped applying the make-up and stared deeply at Jinyoung – the same set of brown orbs mirroring her own. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t prevent this marriage from happening, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung bit back the tears that started welling in his own eyes. He will not cry. Not for anyone again.

 

 

His time was finally up. Jinyoung stood behind a massive door where on the other side, made men waited – where Im Jaebum was waiting for him. He took a deep breath. He can survive this, he _will_ survive.

The first thing he noticed was the room. It was white, everywhere he looked, white blinded him. From the white walls to the high white ceiling. The flowers decorating the aisle were all white as well. Even the floor was marble white and he had to fight the urge to squint. Then he noticed all the unfamiliar faces staring at him. He knew what they were. They were _made_. And at the opposite end of the hall, a person stood by the makeshift altar. Jinyoung’s heart rate picked up.

In contrast to what Jinyoung wore, the man was decked in an all black ensemble. Jinyoung would bet his virgin ass that the tuxedo was customized and Italian-made. He would not put it past these pompous famiglia men to spend ridiculous sums of money for a sham of a wedding. They made billions after all. Jinyoung tasted bile from the disgust he felt towards them.

Jinyoung walked down the aisle. Once, he dreamt of walking down it with a huge smile on his face and love thrumming in his veins. He once imagined a man standing at the altar, waiting for him with equally love struck eyes. He had fantasized a warm and merry event. The exact opposite of what was going on.

He ignored the low chatters that broke out when he passed through. He noticed only three people sat at the first row. His own family situated at the second, behind those people – two men and a woman. Jinyoung assumed they were Im Jaebum’s family. He stopped when he reached the front and from the short distance, he could finally make out the face of his very soon-to-be husband.

He was handsome, Jinyoung would not deny it. With sharp cheekbones that looked like they could cut Jinyoung’s heart to pieces and a high nose bridge, the man was nothing short of beautiful. However, what got under Jinyoung’s skin was the way his cat-like eyes bore into his in an intense way, it almost felt like he was glaring. A shudder ran through Jinyoung’s spine. The man’s shoulders were very broad and his chest strong. The suit he was wearing did an excellent job at accentuating the man’s great physique. His hair was slicked back exposing a wide forehead. Im Jaebum was hot. Very hot.

He also dismissed Jinyoung in a matter of seconds. He only nodded his way then turned to the man presiding their wedding. Just like that. They were not even officially married yet, and Jaebum already dropped him like he was someone unimportant. The tiny part in him that had hoped for Jaebum to at least be a tad better than his father dissipated as easily as an ice cube in a frying pan. But he steeled himself. He will not break, not this time.

 _Cum ígitur sancti Matrimónii fcedus iníre, intendátis, déxteras iúngite et coram Deo eiúsque Ecclésia consénsum vestrum exprimíte._ Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church.

Jinyoung wanted to shout at the man before them that no, he did not consent for this. And what was with the Cosa Nostra’s obsession with Latin? They were Koreans for fuck’s sake. But then Jaebum took his hand, and Jinyoung stiffened. It was the first time they touched. Jaebum’s grip on him was strong and it kept getting stronger and stronger until it almost crushed his palm. He whipped his head at Jaebum only to be greeted with a cold glare. It almost did not register in Jinyoung’s brain that it was already time for him to state his vows.

“I, Park Jinyoung, take you, Im Jaebum, to be my husband.” Jinyoung forced the words out. “I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health.” He took a deep breath. “I will–“ He choked. He could not seem to spit the words out. The consigliere presiding over the wedding gently urged Jinyoung to say the word. He nodded softly and Jinyoung willed his tears back into his eyes. He can do this, just a little bit more. “I will love you–“ He almost sobbed, “I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”

 _Deus Pater ætérnus in mútuo vos servet amóre concórdes, ut pax Christi hábitet in vobis, et in domo vestra iúgiter mánæt._ God the eternal Father keep you in love with each other, so that the peace of Christ may stay with you and be always in your home.

Just like that, they were married. He was Im Jaebum’s property.

 

 

The limousine ride towards Jaebum’s home was nothing short of stifling. Jinyoung was tense and sat as far away as his husband as possible. Husband. The word filled Jinyoung with dread. It was explained to him by Im Hyejin, Jaebum’s mother, that the reception of their union would happen the next day. It felt backward, the order of things wrong. Why would the party be the next day? After they _consummate_ the marriage? Jinyoung had wanted to prevent that from happening. He wanted the car to crash into a lamppost and maybe kill him – better yet, Jaebum – in the process. He glanced at Jaebum. The man was seated with such ease that it looked arrogant. He was composed and sure and Jinyoung just wanted to open the car door and jump off.

It seemed that he was staring for too long as Jaebum took notice and looked back at him. “Is there anything wrong?”

Jinyoung wanted to retort that _everything_ was wrong but he did not know how Jaebum will react if he started shouting. And the space was small, he could be in danger if ever Jaebum decided to discipline him as punishment. So, Jinyoung just shook his head. “Nothing.”

Jaebum stared at him for a few more seconds, as if finding Jinyoung odd, then went back to scrolling on his phone.

Jinyoung stared out the window. They veered off the main high way and all Jinyoung could see now were trees. It could not have been a forest, they were in the middle of Seoul for Christ’s sake, but the area was so secluded, it almost felt like it was. Jaebum did not bring him here to murder, did he? He would not have married him in the first place if he intended to kill him, right? Right? However, there was really nothing as far as Jinyoung could see – no houses, no businesses, and no people. It was just endless trees and the asphalt road. Jinyoung surmised that even if he tried to escape, he would not be able to go too far. The driveway was too long for anyone to walk; the area was almost remote. One needed a vehicle to drive to wherever Jaebum’s house was, at least that was what he thought – that Jaebum was taking him to his house.

He did a double take. It was not a house that loomed over him as the car pulled over. He blinked, nope, it was most definitely not a house. Jinyoung knew what one looked like. His family was wealthy enough to live in a big and comfortable house but this was something on a different scale. This was a _mansion_. It was huge with strong pillars and heavy looking double doors. He glanced around and caught sight of a fountain right across. Really? A fountain? Jinyoung thought it was absurd.

A man in uniform opened the car door but Jinyoung could not be bothered. He was still reeling at the blatant display of power Jaebum imposed just by the mere sight of his home. The man spoke volumes of conceit and self-importance.

“You staying in the car all night or what?” Jaebum said, snapping Jinyoung out of his thoughts. “I won’t object if that’s what you want but seriously?” He raised an eyebrow as if he found Jinyoung sulking like a petulant child.

Jinyoung glared but made his move to get out of the car. However, Jaebum did not even wait for him to be fully out when he said, “I’ll be in my office. Feel free to roam around. And just ask the maids or someone if you need anything, they’ll help you. I’ll see you in the bedroom later.” In a matter of seconds, Jinyoung was left on the porch on his own – in his wedding night.

 

 

Jinyoung wandered inside Jaebum’s mansion. A young maid offered to give him assistance in the touring but Jinyoung dismissed her help, wanting to be alone. And alone he felt. It was not even because he did not belong – he did _not want_ to belong – to this house; it was because the place was so goddamned big, Jinyoung hoped other people lived at this place and just vacated for the night to give Jaebum and him a semblance of privacy. Or maybe this was a good thing, Jinyoung’s brain added in thought. Having a big place meant more space to run about, more space he could hide himself in – it gave lesser chances to be in Jaebum’s company.

His mind drifted to his husband. Jinyoung felt anxiety rack through him. What will happen now? Was Im Jaebum actually the same as his father? Did he escape the cage he was in just to be chained into another? Was he handed to another monster? Jinyoung took deep breaths and leaned on the wall. He was in a hallway of some sorts, trying to calm his mind that was starting to break. He could not afford to lose will now, he needed to be strong.

Jaebum did not give off an amicable vibe. From the get go, he had established that he would not take it easy on Jinyoung. He had been arrogant and pompous, acting as if their marriage held no value. And Jinyoung feared that it might be the case. Sure, he did not want this union but he needed to be something, _someone_ , important to Jaebum. He had to be valuable or else, he would be discarded. Like an old article of clothing that had been worn out and tattered. He was afraid of becoming worthless to Jaebum’s eyes, even after loathing the man with his whole being.

Jinyoung had to be someone Im Jaebum will protect, because what was he really? To Jaebum, and to his famiglia? Now that the deal was done and signed – his father finally giving up their territory to Jaebum – what good was he for? Jaebum could easily throw him away or worse, it would be as easy as breaking a twig for Jaebum to kill him. After all, Jinyoung was sure that Jaebum did not care about his well-being, even in the slightest. And the only way for Jaebum to be free of this marriage was to remove Jinyoung from this world. The mafia codes could only do so much to protect him, and he was sure that it did not give enough for him to be safe from the Don itself. He had to make a place for himself in Jaebum’s house, in Jaebum’s famiglia, in Jaebum’s life.

However, it would take all of Jinyoung to try and be civil with the man. He hated him with such intensity, after all. But he would try, it was the smart thing to do. He would try to be amiable to Jaebum as much as he can. So long as Jaebum would not do anything against his will. He would not stand for abuse again. He would make it clear to Jaebum that he was a person too – he had rights, he had dignity. Jinyoung almost hoped that Jaebum would continue being dismissive towards him. It would be easier to deal with that. They could just pretend that the marriage never happened in the first place – both of them clearly did not want it, after all.

Jinyoung’s thoughts flew to what would happen later in the evening. Jaebum said to meet him in the bedroom. Jinyoung gulped; that could not happen. He would not allow the consummation to happen. Traditions be damned, his body would be the last thing Jaebum can have. He already lied before God when he said his wedding vows. He could not lie in Jaebum’s bed and accept him like that. Jinyoung promised to himself right then and there, in the middle of the hallway that he would not offer his body to Im Jaebum. He would not put it past Jaebum to hurt him, expected him to, actually, to be forced into it but God, he would fight.

Jinyoung looked around, the hallway was lined up with expensive ornaments – from the paintings to the half-body statues, Jaebum’s house was dripping with money. Blood money, Jinyoung scoffed. Everything in the place was undoubtedly bought in exchange of innocent lives. He hated it.

At the end of the hallway stood a huge oak door, bigger than that of the rooms Jinyoung had passed. He wondered what it would be. Jaebum did not say anything off-limits and the maid from before did not warn him from entering any room so Jinyoung deemed it safe to take a peek.

And Jinyoung was glad he did. The room was a massive library – with two floors and infinite rows of shelves boasting abundant titles. Jinyoung once dreamed of having library of his own and now he saw a silver lining from all that has happened.

He was brought up with the finest of education and did excellent in school. It was what was expected of him, to be well-bred and sophisticated for his father to flaunt around his business partners. Jinyoung had the luxury of having the best of tutors and had an access to any academic material he needed. However, it was books that his father abhorred. From a young age, Jinyoung had been fascinated with the stories and adventures authors could share just by rearranging letters to form words that could evoke emotions and precipitate dreams. But Park Jintae viewed novels worthless, a ridiculous notion. Jinyoung remembered explaining it to his father and how he received a slap in response. He was ten years old. But that did not derail Jinyoung from loving literature. Throughout the years, he bought books without his father knowing. He had his special hiding place.

But that was nothing compared to Im Jaebum’s library. He ran a finger on the hard bounds lined up in the nearest shelf, caressing the spines in awe and wonder. Some of the books, he has already read. But there were still so much more, hundreds, that he had not and it made Jinyoung’s blood thrum with excitement. He may have found his sanctuary in this foreign place.

He did not peg Jaebum as the type to read, however. The man looked like the only thing he reads off papers were account reports, background profiles and hit orders. He did not look like someone who enjoyed literature. That sparked a tiny bit of hope in Jinyoung. For no man who loved written words could be completely heartless. The library must be a proof that Im Jaebum knows how to _feel_.

Jinyoung plucked out a familiar title from the shelves, A Tale of Two Cities. He had read the book for more times than he could count. It was the book that taught him about what and how love should be like. It was in tragedy that love can truly prosper and maybe that kind of belief was pessimistic, but after everything that Jinyoung had been through – he would be contented to experience love even in the most tragic of ways. He touched the cover of the book with gentleness, the thought of love seemed far away from him. It had never felt _this_ abstract to him before and maybe it would remain that way. Maybe it was fate that he would not be able to feel what the fuss was all about. The butterflies in the chest, the sparks when fingers brushed, the world tilting off its axis. Instead, what he felt deep in his gut was dread and contempt.

He sighed. Jinyoung opened the book, taking notice that some pages were dog eared. He scrunched his nose in disgust – only an uncultured swine would fold a precious leaf of literature. It was an atrocity. However, it signified one thing – that the book had been read. And his thoughts drifted towards Jaebum again. Was it possible that Jaebum, the Don of the Im famiglia, had read it? Jinyoung shook his head in defiance. Maybe Jaebum did read it, but he was sure that the man only did so to understand more of the political arena and how to go about its schemes. Jaebum _could not_ have read the book to feel emotions other than cruelty. Or maybe, other people did live in the mansion aside from Jaebum – someone who loved reading as much as Jinyoung did.

Time must have passed without Jinyoung noticing for when a cough was heard from the doorway, he jumped off from the window sill he had perched himself on.

“I’m sorry for interrupting you, sir. However, the Don is calling for you.” The young maid from before said.

Jinyoung gulped. “Did he send you to fetch me?”

“Yes, sir. He’s waiting for you in his chambers.” The maid hesitated, “I suggest you hurry, sir. He has given the orders around thirty minutes ago. We have been searching the whole mansion since.”

Jinyoung felt guilty for the poor girl. She must be afraid of incurring Jaebum’s wrath for taking too long a time to find his whereabouts. Jinyoung’s mood turned sour again. It was Jaebum’s fault for having a mansion for a house. Of course, it would be difficult to find someone – especially if that someone did not want to be found.

He stood up and returned the book from where he took it. Jinyoung took a deep breath and said, “Okay then, lead me the way.”

 

 

The maid opened the door to what Jinyoung assumed as the master’s bedroom, _Jaebum’s_ bedroom. He composed himself before stepping foot into the chambers.

“Where were you?” Jaebum’s welcoming voice was harsh, as if Jinyoung broke some rules which would be ridiculous since they had not established any.

The door thudded softly behind Jinyoung and now, the two of them were truly alone. “I was at the library.” He said.

“And you didn’t tell any of the maids?”

Jaebum stepped towards him and it took all of Jinyoung not to flinch. “You didn’t say I had to. You only said to ask them if I needed anything.”

Jaebum stared at Jinyoung deeply but appeared satisfied with his answer. Jinyoung felt relieved that Jaebum seemed like a man who could take reason. Maybe it was not going to be so bad after all.

“Come here.” Jaebum said as he sat at the edge of the bed. When Jinyoung did not move an inch, he repeated, “I said, come here. I’ll let you know, I don’t like to repeat myself.” His voice was commanding, final. It was as if he was talking to a subordinate. “ _Jinyoung_.”

This time, Jinyoung flinched. This was it. It was going to happen after all. He feared for this moment but he had to fight, even if he ended up bruised and bloody. “No.”

“What did you say?” And this time, Jaebum’s tone was laced with something bitter. It was more menacing and Jinyoung _knew_ just then that he was facing another monster.

“I said no. You can’t order me around. I won’t listen.” Jinyoung said with all the defiance he can muster.

Jaebum narrowed his eyes, and the sight could make anyone pee in their pants but Jinyoung was frozen in place, he could not pee – hell, he could not breathe – even if he wanted to. He was _scared_.

“Who do you think you’re talking to?”

“I don’t care. You can’t tell me what to do, I won’t do it.” Jinyoung fought the urge to vomit. “And I know who you are, Im Jaebum. You’re a monster.”

Jinyoung did not expect the laugh that broke out of Jaebum. It was cold and mocking, like Jaebum knew he had the upper hand and Jinyoung was just whining in futility. “You’re right. I am a monster.” Jinyoung took a step back when Jaebum stood and walked towards him. “But doesn’t that make you a husband of a monster?”

“Only on paper. I’m not your husband outside of that.” Jinyoung spat to which Jaebum just raised a brow and smirked evilly. It was obvious that he was treating Jinyoung as a game. “I’m serious. Stop coming closer!”

And Jaebum did stop – that was also when Jinyoung knew he fucked up. “First rule, dear _husband_ – do not shout at me.” Jaebum sneered before grabbing Jinyoung’s arm and yanking him forward.

Pain shot through Jinyoung from the force of being yanked and from Jaebum’s deathly tight grip on his arm. “Let go of me!”

“I said,” Jaebum threw Jinyoung down the bed, and it was with such a force that Jinyoung head spun from the impact. “Do not shout at me.”

Jinyoung glared at Jaebum, “And I said you can’t tell me what to do!”

“You really won’t fucking listen, huh? Maybe I ought to teach you a lesson.”

This was the moment Jinyoung feared the most. He had hoped that maybe it would not come to this but it did, and all he could do was resist with all that he can as Jaebum got on top of him. “Get off of me, asshole!”

Jinyoung started thrashing on the bed and he used all his might to push Jaebum off. However, the man was clearly more powerful and had a history of fighting as he adeptly caught Jinyoung’s wrists and pinned his arms above his head with ease. “I told you to stop shouting, for God’s sake. Why wouldn’t you listen, Jinyoung? Why are you so fucking irritating, huh?”

Jinyoung tried kicking Jaebum but it proved to be useless as well when Jaebum easily stopped his movements by using legs and hip to pin him down, completely under Jaebum’s mercy.

Jaebum bore his glare into Jinyoung and he saw something flicker in the Don’s eyes. This was it, Jinyoung thought. Jaebum was in total control and he, once again, was rendered helpless. Maybe if he just closed his eyes, the pain would lessen. Maybe if he just imagined being at another place, he would not feel anything anymore. He braced himself for the manhandling that will come but – nothing. He expected Jaebum to start ripping his clothes off and having his way with him. Instead, he felt the hold on his wrist loosen as Jaebum got off of him.

Jinyoung opened his eyes to see Jaebum staring down at him, standing now and a few feet away from Jinyoung. He looked as if Jinyoung did something to frighten him. He looked shocked. “Why are you crying?”

Jinyoung ran a hand on his face and sure enough, it was wet. He did not notice he started crying.

Jaebum stepped towards him but it was hesitant, as if he did not know how to approach Jinyoung. However, it still made Jinyoung flinch and he abruptly sat up on the bed, scrambling farther away from Jaebum.

“Why are you flinching?” Jaebum said, sounding frustrated. “Stop flinching. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Jinyoung laughed, “Not going to hurt me? Joke’s on you because you already did!”

“I told you to stop talking to me like that and you fucking won’t.”

“So you just did that?” Jinyoung sounded incredulous, “Tell me, do you just manhandle people like that when they don’t listen to you? Huh?!” Jinyoung started screaming, “Do you just get on top of them and pin them down?!”

Then as if all the fight had been drained off Jinyoung, he spoke in a defeated voice. “I thought you were going to-“ He cut himself off. He could not bring himself to say it aloud.

“What?” Jaebum pressed, “You thought I was going to what?”

Jinyoung stared at the wall on the side, refusing to meet eyes with Jaebum. “I thought you were going to force me to consummate the marriage.”

Jaebum let out a sharp breath and hissed, “You thought I was going to rape you?” He sneered, “Fucking unbelievable.”

Jinyoung whipped his head towards the Don’s direction. “Is it? Is it unbelievable that you would do that? Because, newsflash, that’s what all men like you do.”

“I am not like that. No Cosa Nostra will do something like that. We have values.” Jaebum said but his voice wavered.

“Just, stop.” Jinyoung said, sounding exhausted. “Please, leave me be. Okay?” He pleaded, “If you’re really not as vile as you claim to be, please. _Let me go_.”

Jinyoung saw a flurry of emotions pass on Jaebum’s face before it settled on a mask of impassiveness. He was back to being Don of a famiglia as he looked at Jinyoung with cold, sharp eyes. “Alright. I’ll leave you on your own for tonight. You can sleep here. All your clothes are already arranged in the wardrobe.” He gestured towards a door at the corner and Jinyoung reckoned that it must be a walk-in. “But you have to get up promptly tomorrow. The party will start early and we can’t be late.”

Jaebum walked towards the door and opened it. However, before he was out of the room, his final words were, “I’ll let you go for now. But you must know, and I suppose you do, you just don’t want to accept it, and there will be more consequences if you don’t start accepting the fact anytime soon.” Jaebum locked eyes with Jinyoung, “I _can’t_ let you go. Hate it as much as you like, but you are _mine_. And of course, that goes both ways as I am yours too. So behave. That’s the only way for you to survive this world, husband.”

 

 

Jaebum’s words rang loud and sharp like a siren in Jinyoung’s head, even hours after he left the room. And Jinyoung – he did not sleep a wink that night.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> So another chapter, huh.  
> I hope you enjoyed this as well, I had a hard time writing this chapter because the whole vibe was depressing and dark.  
> Stay tuned for the next update! And drop in the comments what you think, yeah? I'd love to know your insights and opinions.  
> Or talk to me at [twitter](https://twitter.com/crudescere) or [cc](https://curiouscat.me/crudescere)  
> Thank you!!!


	3. Chapter 3

III

 

Serva me, servabo te

(Save me and I will save you)

\- Satyricon 44, Petronius Arbiter

  


Jinyoung felt dreadful when morning came in the form of a knock. He was not able to get any sleep. No matter how much he closed his eyes shut, the image of Jaebum hovering over him and pinning him down with his wrists gripped tightly into one of Jaebum’s hand was vividly etched behind his eyelids. The ghost of Jaebum’s weight and the deathly stare he gave made Jinyoung fear the of tiniest sounds. He kept on eyeing the door – anxious that Jaebum might change his mind in the middle of the night and barge back into the room. It took hours before his heart calmed down and even then, he still was not able to drift into slumber. No peace of mind – Jinyoung could not afford that.

At first, Jinyoung was averse with the idea of sleeping on the bed. It was Jaebum’s bed, after all. And even if the said man was not present, it still irked Jinyoung – the idea that he will lie and be vulnerable in the same bed where his husband had lain for however long the house stood did not sit well with Jinyoung. It sounded hypocritical, like he fought for something and then cowering to have it back. However, he was _exhausted_. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. In all sense of the word, he was tired – fatigue boring him down to his bones. So, he really could not be blamed when he succumbed and let himself fall on the soft mattress. But of course, no amount of exhaustion willed his spirit to rest. Throughout the night, he fought back tears and cursed at the world who slept peacefully while he lay awake and afraid.

He stilled and gripped the duvet when the knocks came but let out the breath he was holding when a female head peeked into the room. It was the maid yesterday.

“Sir, pardon my intrusion but the Don said to wake you up. He said you have an hour to prepare before leaving for the Im manor.”

Jinyoung sat up and nodded at the maid, gesturing her to leave him alone. She hesitated at first, as if it was against her duties, but bowed nonetheless before stepping out and closing the door with a soft thud.

Jinyoung surveyed the room. He was not able to fully appreciate it last night but now, with the sun shining through the curtain gaps, he could see how much it exuded Jaebum’s character. The room was very big with dark and heavy furnitures — it was _imposing_. Even the plush carpet he walked on while going to the attached bathroom felt like chains, holding him down like one would to a prisoner.

He started snooping around the bathroom. Well, it would hardly be considered snooping since he _owned_ the house now too but still, Jinyoung felt very out of place – which was actually good, he supposed. The day he would be enjoying Jaebum’s home would be the same day hell froze over. He found a stack of fresh bath towels and robes in one of the cabinets. He took one of each and proceeded to the shower stall. There was a massive tub at the center of the bathroom, situated before a floor to ceiling glass window. And if that was not weird enough, a couch was placed on the other side of the tub. Jinyoung, for the life of him, could not decipher the reason behind those. Why was there a window so big, anyone could probably see the person bathing without difficulty? And the couch too? _What, was Im Jaebum some kind of an exhibitionist?_

Jinyoung shook his head. Jaebum could be anything he wanted to be, Jinyoung did not care. At all. After all, he would never engage in any compromising acts with the other, so really, if Jaebum had the habit of fucking in the open – it was not his problem.

He removed his clothes and folded them, laying them in a neat pile by the counter. He stepped under the shower head and let the warm water wash over his senses – raising his head to face the spray of water directly. For a second, he felt calm – enveloped in the steam of the shower and his senses blunted, he felt almost safe.

Jinyoung looked around for cleansing products to use. He saw an expensive looking bottle of shampoo and hesitated using it. The hair product must belong to Jaebum. The soaps must be too. Jinyoung was vehemently against the idea of smelling the same as his husband. No, he did not think he could handle it. Cursing himself for not thinking that far ahead, Jinyoung turned off the shower and grabbed the robe he took earlier. He went out the shower stall and rummaged around the cupboards again, trying to look for _anything_ generic enough for him to use. Unfortunately, he did not find any. The only products in storage were the same kind as those in the shower – the same stuff Jaebum used.

Jinyoung thought of calling a maid. Maybe they could provide him with materials other than Jaebum’s ridiculously expensive woods and citrus smelling products.

Jinyoung can only thank God that he had half a mind and chose to put on the robe instead of just wrapping a towel around his waist for when he stepped back into the master’s bedroom, a shirtless Jaebum greeted him.

Jinyoung yelped in surprise.  “What are you doing here?” He clutched on the robe he was wearing, tightening it around him. A towel would most likely expose him more than he would like and he hissed a swear in utter relief.

However, the look Jaebum gave him made Jinyoung feel stupid. “Getting dressed?” Jaebum gestured towards the dress shirt that was laid on the bed.

Jinyoung just then noticed that the other’s hair was wet and that it was in a disarray. Jaebum was only wearing a pair of slacks that was yet to be buttoned and he was still looking at Jinyoung funnily. Jinyoung concluded that Jaebum must have just finished showering and was now dressing in _his_ room, getting clothes from _his_ closet. Jinyoung felt his cheeks grow warm as the realisation that he just asked such a stupid question dawned on him. But Jinyoung was not going to back down from a war he started.

“You said you were going to leave me alone.” Jinyoung stated, suspicious.

Jaebum clicked his tongue, “I said, I’ll leave you to your own for the night. Clearly, it’s morning now.” Jaebum pointed out towards the sun shining from the window. “And what are you doing here with just a robe? Did you need assistance in bathing?”

Jinyoung’s eyes widen at the implication. His blood started to boil. “I was going to ask the maids for soap.”

“Why? I’m sure that the bathroom is complete with all the necessities.” Jaebum raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, but those are _yours_.” Jinyoung said simply. However, when Jaebum did not reply, he elaborated. “I will not use anything that you have used already. I don’t want to smell like you.”

He did not mean to blurt out the last part but he did and his face grew more crimson at the idea behind it. Jinyoung prayed that Jaebum would let it slide, that maybe he was not paying much attention.

Jinyoung was proven wrong when Jaebum replied, “What? You thought I purposely left the damned soap there for you to smell like me?” Jaebum laughed, “You have a fucked up way of thinking, my dear husband.”

Jinyoung started to get seriously annoyed. Why was Jaebum such an arrogant man inherently? “Then give me a new soap.”

“It’s just fucking soap, Jinyoung. You’re ridiculous.” Jaebum shook his head and picked up the shirt from the bed, inserting an arm through the hole and Jinyoung pretended not seeing the way Jaebum’s chest puffed and panned out. Nope.

“I’m not. I want a new soap.” Jinyoung continued, “I _can’t_ smell like you, especially when we’ll be facing everyone.”

“Now that you’ve mentioned it, I think it would be better if you _do_ smell like me. It will make them think that you know – we’re having a fun time being married.” By now, Jaebum had finished buttoning his shirt. He then turned and squinted his eyes at Jinyoung who was still standing by the bathroom door. “Jinyoung, why the fuck are you still standing there? Go and fucking take your damned shower. We don’t have much time left. I’ll choose your clothes for you,” Jaebum went to their walk-in closet. “Just go and finish quickly. My mother will throw a fit if we’re fucking late.”

“I said, give me a new soap.” Jinyoung emphasised. He could not care less about Jaebum’s mother. He needed to stand his ground. “And why are you picking out my clothes? I can choose what I’ll wear.” He added for good measure, “I’ll wear whatever I please.”

Jaebum sighed then glared at Jinyoung. “You will take that damned shower within the next thirty seconds or else I’ll will fucking do it for you. And I’m telling you, you won’t be able to open that damned mouth of yours to complain when I’m holding your head _under_. I tried being nice but I’m not having any more of your shit, Jinyoung.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “And as for your clothes, fine. Wear whatever the fuck you want just make sure it’s fucking appropriate for the reception. Just take the goddamned shower now.”

Jinyoung gulped. He was about to press for the soap again but a pointed look and a single step from Jaebum were all it took for him to bolt and run back inside the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him and locking the knob to be sure. His heart pounded hard in his chest and he stomped his way back into the shower stall. He started running the water and squeezed a good deal of shampoo to use then out of spite, Jinyoung emptied the entire container and watched the slippery substance make its way to the drain. He did the same thing to the body wash because – fuck Jaebum if he thought Jinyoung would not get revenge.

  


The ride towards the Im manor almost had no difference from the night before. Jinyoung still sat as far away as Jaebum as possible – deafening silence still enveloped them. The only difference was that now, Jinyoung knew just how much despicable Jaebum was and he could not wait to get off the car and be in an open space, far away from Jaebum.

Jinyoung wondered about the Im manor. If Jaebum’s house was a massive mansion, how much more would the manor be? He would not be surprised if it turned out to be a castle. It was where Jaebum’s parents lived, after all – it was where Jaebum and his brother grew up. Jinyoung’s stomach curled in on itself. He felt anxious about surrounding himself with made men again, and this time, he would be forced to actually interact with them.

There really was not much that he knew of Jaebum’s family. It was how the mafia worked, after all. They had to keep everything in secrecy and silence – the omertà required them to keep their mouths shut. The only person he somewhat had the knowledge of was Jaebum’s father – Im Seongwoo. Everyone who dabbled in the illegal knew of him. From the measly nightclubs and money lending businesses to the big scale racketeering and money laundering, Im Seongwoo had been the puppet master. Jinyoung was told by his father to fear and respect the man. He knew that his father’s gang – Jinyoung will _not_ claim to be any part of his father’s illegal dealings – was at the center of the Im famiglia’s property. He had heard enough conversations to know that Yeouido was an important key to Seoul’s underworld. It was its financial capital and the main reason why Jinyoung was sold to Jaebum in the first place. But apart from the name and the reputation, Jinyoung did not know anymore of who Im Seongwoo was.

Jinyoung’s mind went back to their wedding ceremony. He had noticed the three people who stood at the first row, two men and a woman. He easily connected the dots and assumed that the older male and the woman were Jaebum’s parents – Im Seongwoo and Im Hyejin. The younger man, on the other hand, Jinyoung had no clue but if he were to take a guess, he reckoned him to be Jaebum’s brother. He wondered if he would be the same as his husband – arrogant, conceited, _intimidating._

“We are near.” Jinyoung heard Jaebum say. “You have to behave.”

Jinyoung turned towards Jaebum, “What do you mean by that?”

“I meant that you should act like you are married to me. Like you are married to _the Don_. I cannot have you embarrassing me to the whole famiglia.” Jaebum said pointedly.

Jinyoung aggressively replied, “You mean I have to act happy and docile? Well, I’m clearly not.”

“That.” Jaebum started and Jinyoung felt chills ran down his spine with how cold and sharp Jaebum’s tone was being. “ _That_ is the behaviour I won’t tolerate in public. You hate me and this marriage, that’s fucking fine. But I won’t have you disrespecting me in front of everyone else. Do you fucking understand that, Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung’s disgust would probably be visible with how deep he was frowning. He could not agree with what Jaebum was saying but he thought against speaking that out loud because the face his husband wore was very different from this morning’s – which was pissed but still reasonable. Jaebum’s current expression said that he would not tolerate anymore of his shit.

His lack of reply prompted Jaebum to add, “I’ll make it clear to you if you aren’t getting it. If you want to get respected, respect me first. That’s how it works, Jinyoung. No one will take your fucking shit. So act like you are a man of honour.”

Jinyoung knew what those words meant. Man of honour, made man, friend of ours – it all meant the same thing. A mafioso. “But I’m not one of _you_. I don’t belong to your famiglia.” Jinyoung said. That was the last thing he wanted – to be part of Jaebum’s syndicate.

“I’m the Don. I get to choose who to involve in my famiglia. And you might not be made but now that you’ve married me, you can’t be _uninvolved_ with it. So respect me and my men.” Jaebum added, “Rule number one, my dear husband. Remember that the famiglia _always_ comes first.”

  


Jinyoung gaped at the Im manor  – it was a fortress. If Jinyoung thought Jaebum’s house was already ridiculous, that did not hold a candle to the Im manor. The gate surrounding the perimeter was several feet high and Jinyoung guessed that those thick and heavy-looking wires at the top were electric fences. It did not look like a home  – it was a prison.

But that was on the outside. Because when they passed the fortress walls, just like with Jaebum’s house, the area leading to the manor was littered with trees. Only this was more lavish and elaborate. Im Jaebum’s parents did not spare a cent when they made their home, that was sure.

The actual house was twice as big as Jaebum’s, if not more, and Jinyoung could barely comprehend the scale of their wealth. He glanced at his husband who was nonchalantly scrolling through his phone. “This is your house?”

Jaebum turned towards him, “No. It’s my parent’s.”

“I meant, this was were you grew up in?”

Jaebum cocked his head sideways. “Are we getting to know each other now?” Jaebum sounded amused. “I thought you hated me?”

Jinyoung’s blood started to boil again. He was slowly realizing that Jaebum and him could never hold a proper conversation without one of them snapping. And in this case, it was him. “I do. I hate you.”

“I know.” Jaebum said, “But I advise you against saying that in front of the others. As I’ve told you, my men will not respect you if you don’t respect their Don. But my family, they can do more harm to you than you think.”

The car pulled up at the porch and a footman opened the car door. Jinyoung was beginning to think that this was how all famiglias work – or maybe, Jaebum and his family were just royalties of the underground society.

Jaebum got out of the car first and offered his hand to help Jinyoung alight. Jinyoung glared at Jaebum for treating him like a woman but he was met with a serious look. “Behave.” Jaebum said and Jinyoung rolled his eyes but accepted Jaebum’s help. He thought it better to play along and gauge how the Im family really worked. It was his chance to learn the dynamics of the famiglia – and he needed to learn. If he wanted to be valuable, Jinyoung needed to concentrate and focus. He had to survive after all.

The front door burst open and revealed a man Jinyoung saw yesterday – light brown hair, thick physique, slightly shorter than Jaebum. It was the other male who stood beside Jaebum’s parents at the wedding.

Jinyoung heard Jaebum curse under his breath almost simultaneous with the guy’s loud greeting.

“Jaebum, my man!”

“Jackson.” Jaebum acknowledged.

Jackson sauntered up to them and Jinyoung got surprised when he easily enveloped Jaebum into a tight hug. “I missed you, man.”

Jaebum disentangled himself from Jackson. “What do you mean you missed me? Stop being dramatic, we saw each other yesterday.”

Jackson feigned hurt as he clutched his chest. “How could you say that? After all that we’ve been through? Jaebum, I’m your only brother!”

“I wish I had none.” Jaebum said but it was _teasing_. Jinyoung was dumbfounded. Who was this Jackson and why was he this carefree? Weren’t all made men always serious and grave? And how was he able to invoke a genuine laugh from Jaebum? This was all too surreal.

“I can’t believe you said that. I’m calling dad on you.” Jackson pointed a finger. And to Jinyoung’s shock, Jackson started screaming, “Dad! Jaebum’s being mean to me! Dad! Come down here!”

JInyoung whipped his head towards Jaebum and was further stupefied to see that his husband was cackling.

“I swear, Jackson, you’re such a kid. Stop yelling, you’re scaring Jinyoung.” Jaebum said, wiping his eyes from the wetness that gathered there from laughing too much.

As if noticing him for the first time, Jackson looked at Jinyoung. “Oh my god! I’m so sorry! Jaebum distracted me.” He threw a nasty look towards his brother who just raised his hands in innocence. Jackson stood in front of Jinyoung, wide smile still adorning his handsome face but mirth gone from his eyes. He looked at Jinyoung as if weighing his importance. “I am Im Jackson. Jaebum’s brother and the underboss of the family. Nice to meet you.” He offered a handshake which Jinyoung awkwardly took.

It was obvious to Jinyoung – Jackson was not welcoming him completely in to the family as Jaebum’s husband. His grip told Jinyoung that he must prove himself first.

“Hi. I’m Jinyoung,” was all Jinyoung said. He was uncomfortable with addressing himself as an Im – it made him feel more of a property than a husband.

“Im.” Jackson started, “You are Im Jinyoung.” He smiled curtly at Jinyoung then refocused his attention back to Jaebum. “So how was wedding night?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Jaebum glared and punched his brother at the shoulder. “Shut up. Don’t ask questions like that again.”

“Why?” Jackson’s gaze fleeted towards Jinyoung for a second and Jinyoung felt naked – offended that he was looked down like a he was good for nothing but sex. It was behavior like this that made Jinyoung despise made men. They thought they had all the power just because they were fucking mafioso. They were disgusting.

“Shut it.” Jaebum chided, “I don’t ask about you and Mark so fucking shut it, Jackson.”

“Hey, hey, hey. Why are you so defensive? I was just asking and you two,” He gestured towards Jaebum and Jinyoung, “It’s fucking different with me and Mark, okay? You’re the Don and you’re _married_.”

Jackson side eyed Jinyoung again and Jinyoung decided that he did not like Jackson all that much. Jaebum’s brother was obviously judging him and Jinyoung did not accept judgements graciously. He preferred it  if Jackson would just be upfront to him like Jaebum did – it would be better if Jackson just said he disliked Jinyoung straight up. At least that way, he would know that the feeling was mutual and Jinyoung would not have to do much pretending to get in his good favours.

“It’s none of your business.” Jaebum hissed.

“Anything that might affect the famiglia is my business though, _boss_.” Jackson challenged.

Jinyoung hated what was happening – the two were talking about him like he was not present. To his surprise however, Jaebum extended an arm and placed it across Jinyoung’s back, with his hand resting on Jinyoung’s hip, and bringing him closer. It must have looked possessive for Jackson’s gaze zeroed in on the gesture and he raised a questioning brow. Jinyoung looked at Jaebum but the other was staring straight at Jackson.

“Do not worry, brother. Jinyoung should be the last person the famiglia worried over. I won’t let him get in the way.”

Jinyoung tried to get out of Jaebum’s hold but the grip on his waist went tighter. He heard Jaebum say in a very low voice, “Play nice. Jackson is going to be your nightmare if you don’t.”

Jinyoung swallowed down the urge to punch Jackson and Jaebum in their arrogant faces. He did not need to prove anything. The Ims were the one who wanted him for his father’s property. However, Jinyoung also knew that _he_ as a person did not matter to monsters like them. So he took a deep breath and pasted a smile on his face. He said to Jackson, “Don’t worry, Jackson-sshi. I won’t do anything that might affect your _family_. I’m just here for Jaebum.”

That seemed enough to placate Jackson and in a second, he was back to being merry and enthusiastic. “Well, that was nice to hear but you’re also _family_ now. After all, the responsibility of taking care of my hopeless brother now falls in your hands.” Jinyoung swore, how was Jackson able to flip his emotions as quickly as that? Maybe it ran in their family to be mercurial. “What are we doing standing here like idiots? Come inside, everyone’s waiting!”

  


The party was nothing short of what Jinyoung expected. It went over and beyond what he thought of, actually. It was _extravagant_ – in every sense of the word. However, it lacked the jovial mood that always surrounded parties. For God’s sake, it was a wedding reception – why was everyone so professional and proper?

Jackson led Jaebum and him across the hall where everyone congratulated Jaebum on the marriage, completely ignoring Jinyoung. No one addressed him and funnily, instead of being pissed that he was being treated so insignificantly, Jinyoung was thankful that the spotlight was on Jaebum. It was easier not acknowledging anyone in a room where Jinyoung despised all the people.

Jackson brought them towards a table by the front where two people sat – Jaebum’s parents.

Im Hyejin instantly stood up and hugged Jaebum. “How are you, my son? How’s being married?” The woman was smiling so bright and genuine – it was obvious how much she _loved_ her son. Jinyoung found it hard to dislike the woman – it was the first time he saw positive emotions from someone for a long, long while and Jinyoung was hit by a profound sense of sadness. Here Jaebum was, loved by his mother while he – poor and worthless Jinyoung – was sold by his father.

“I’m fine, mom.” Jaebum replied. He tugged at Jinyoung’s wrist and brought him forward. “Jinyoung has not given me any reason to kill him yet so I’ll say it’s going pretty good.”

Jinyoung was stunned. Did Jaebum just imply that he was not satisfied with their union? Jinyoung looked around to see if anyone was offended but he got more confused when Im Seongwoo barked out a laugh.

“Well, that’s good. It would not be nice if we told Jintae that his son had died on his wedding night. It’s still too early. Let’s wait a couple more months before we get to the killing, if you really want it. Or else, the haste could spark a mutiny from his side.” Jaebum’s father teased.

Jinyoung paled at the statement. These people really did not care about him at all – they did not care if he died just like that. _Monsters_.

“Well, I’m sure Jaebum almost killed Jinyoung last night.” Jackson wiggled his brows. “With how angry he is all the time, I can only imagine how rough he was.” Jackson then directed the question towards Jinyoung, “Tell us, Jinyoung-sshi. Was Jaebum able to _break_ you?”

Jinyoung was disgusted. He was utterly, unspeakably disgusted at Im Jackson.

Before Jinyoung could retort, however, Jaebum growled. And Jinyoung would have been scared shitless if he had been the object of Jaebum’s ire. This was different from the irritated and pissed off Jaebum he had encountered before.  Jaebum was really mad this time.

“I told you to fucking shut it. Rule fucking four, Jackson. Or are you really testing me, huh? Do you want me to fucking pull my rank on you?”

Everyone at the table stilled, including Jinyoung. Jaebum hissed the words low enough to be only heard by those at their table but the tension was so dense, even the other mafiosi nearby felt the discord.

“Fucking respect my husband, Jackson. Or if you really have a fucking problem, tell it to me directly so we could resolve it one made man to another.”

Jinyoung knew Jaebum was only doing it – standing up for him – because it was his duty as Jinyoung’s husband. It was expected of him. Especially being Cosa Nostra, they did not take lightly of issues like this. It was high up in their list of rules, after all – that all wives and lovers of made men be honoured and respected. And Jaebum was Don so his own pride was involved as well.

Jinyoung would not be swayed. Jaebum was only doing it for his own good, not for Jinyoung’s.

Seongwoo interjected, “Stop acting like damned kids. You’re making a fucking scene.”

Jaebum continued to glare at Jackson but the latter relented. “You’re right. I’m sorry, brother.” Jackson turned towards Jinyoung, “I’m sorry to you too. That was uncalled for.”

Jinyoung only nodded as a response but it was clear that he was upset at the whole fiasco. Fortunately, Hyejin was a very amiable woman and she easily diffused the hostile atmosphere. She coaxed a smile out of Jaebum and made the brothers truce. Jinyoung wondered what kind of a woman Hyejin was, to be able to earn the respect of a mafioso and be married to a former Don at that. She did not look hostile, in fact, she appeared to be a warm and genuine woman. _Motherly_. It was a stark difference from how Seongwoo appeared to be. He had the same self-imposing aura Jaebum and Jackson had. He was just as scary and hot-tempered. Jinyoung could not help but wonder how Hyejin endured it all because for the life of Jinyoung, he hated everything that has happened so far. And it has not even been full two days yet.

  


Throughout the party, Jinyoung was wary of Jackson. He could not help his suspicions on the man. His husband must have felt the angry vibes rolling of his skin because Jaebum nudged his leg under the table they were currently sitting at – eating steaks that must have costed hundreds of dollars.

“Stop glaring at Jackson. He knows you’re looking, he’s not stupid, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes. Of course, it was him who needed to be reprimanded. “Leave me alone, Jaebum. I’m trying to _behave_.”

“Well, you have to try harder. You’re not fooling anyone.” Jaebum stated.

Why was Im Jaebum so insufferable? Jinyoung was almost at his limit – he was very close to walking out from the event. The famiglia can go to hell. He has not even seen his father yet. Jinyoung cursed at the man – of course, Park Jintae could not be bothered to show up at his only son’s wedding reception. Jinyoung cursed them all to hell.

He gave out a grunt to which Jaebum gripped his knee. “Behave. People are coming.”

Jinyoung looked towards the direction Jaebum was scowling and saw two kids – because they were too young to be called men, at least in Jinyoung’s opinion – heading their way. The two were grinning ear to ear and mischief was written all over their faces and although they were young, there was no mistaking that they were already _made_.

“Jaebum-hyung, what’s up?” Jinyoung heard the skinnier of the two say. He had a melodic tone and the way he said the Korean words felt foreign to Jinyoung. His features were different too; it was more sharp, more _exotic_.

Jaebum continued scowling, “Don’t start with me, Bambam. I’m not in a good mood.”

“Oh? Is Mr. Husband here giving you a hard time?” Bambam laughed, pulled out a chair and sat closely beside Jinyoung. “I suggest whatever it is you’re doing to him, Mr. Husband, continue it. I like seeing Jaebum-hyung uncomfortable.”

Jinyoung wondered who this guy was and why he was teasing Jaebum so blatantly. “Don’t piss me off more, Bam. Jackson already did a number tonight. I’m not feeling _generous_.”

That seemed to silence Bambam but it was obvious that he was trying very hard not to speak up. The other man with him appeared more composed but the bright smile he wore before changed into a frown.

“What’s wrong, hyung?” Jinyoung could see the genuine concern from the man.

Jaebum smiled at the man, “Nothing you should worry about, Youngjae-ah.”

Jinyoung was perplexed. In the span of time they entered the Im manor, Jaebum had shown such a myriad of expressions that left Jinyoung guessing who the _true_ Im Jaebum might be. He had been playful and teasing with Jackson at the porch. Then he had been outright pissed and rude with his brother the next. Jaebum’s eyes shone with love when he met with his mother but a permanent scowl marred his face when he was talking to Bambam. And now, his expression was soft and gentle as he addressed Youngjae.

With _him_ , Jaebum had not been anything but annoyed – Jinyoung ignored the thought.

“If you’re sure.” Youngjae replied skeptically at Jaebum then turned towards Jinyoung. “Hello, Jinyoung-sshi. I’m Choi Youngjae.”

Jinyoung nodded, “Nice to meet you, Youngjae-sshi.” Youngjae may look very welcoming but the fact that he was a made man kept Jinyoung’s defenses up.

“Oh, me too! Me too!” Bambam piped in, “I’m Bambam. I hope you tolerate Jaebum-hyung. He’s very, how do I say it-“ Bambam scratched his chin as if pondering on the right word to say.”Ooh, I know! He’s very anti-social.”

“Bambam.” Jaebum said sternly. “Why are you still here? You’ve said your congratulations. Move along.”

“Don’t be too mean.” Bambam flicked his hand, dismissing what Jaebum said and Jinyoung was confused with his lack of respect.

Youngjae butted in, probably to prevent Jaebum from strangling the other man. “I know it’s your wedding reception and you and Jinyoung-sshi should be enjoying this but we have business.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes. He was definitely not enjoying anything. He expected to be scolded but when a beat passed with nothing, Jinyoung glanced at his husband.

Jaebum’s face was void of any emotions, it was flat and stony – like the face he wore when he left Jinyoung alone the night before. Shivers ran up Jinyoung’s spine as his mind replayed it.

“What’s going on?” Jaebum’s voice was just as cold.

“We got a situation at the basement.” Youngjae replied.

Jinyoung heard Jaebum curse, “Fuck. Why did you bring it _here_? If Hyejin learns about this, Seongwoo will have our fucking heads.”

“Chill out, hyung.” Bambam tried to ease Jaebum but was only met with a sharp glare. “We did not bring it here. It happened _here_.”

“What did you say?” Jaebum stilled for a moment then threw the napkin that hung from his chest for stain protection against food to the plate with a force that Jinyoung felt was not warranted. He pushed his chair back, the scrape hurting Jinyoung’s ears. “Come with me.”

It was obviously meant for the two mafiosi but Jinyoung did not want to be left alone with a cohort of strangers. Choose the lesser evil, they said.

“What about me?” Jinyoung hastily said.

Youngjae and Bambam looked at him like he did not know what he just asked for – and Jinyoung may have no clue on what was going on but he insisted. “Can I come along too?”

Jaebum sighed, “You won’t take no for an answer, am I right?”

Jinyoung kept his stare leveled and he nodded.

“Okay. But keep to the side. Stay out of it. Whatever you see or hear-“

“Turn the other cheek. Anything I hear, anything I see, stays with me, in my head. I cannot talk about it.” Jinyoung cut in and finished what Jaebum was about to say. “I know. I’m not innocent in this life.”

Bambam whistled and Jinyoung saw Youngjae give him an approving smile. Well, at least it seemed that Jinyoung made it into the good graces of the two.

Jaebum gave him an unexplainable look then, “Fine. Just don’t say i didn’t warn you.”

  


The basement was not how Jinyoung imagined a house basement should look like. The wall of the room they were in was lined and stacked with all sorts of guns – a few, Jinyoung has seen his father and his father’s men carry around but there was so much more Jinyoung did not know existed. They ranged from handguns to rifles. Jinyoung also noted barrels upon barrels lining the hallway. He could only guess that the contents within were illegal as well – he had an inkling those were cocaine barrels.

Jaebum pushed open a heavy door and inside were Jackson and two other men. Jinyoung recognized one of the two men – he was the man who presided over their wedding.

“Jackson, Mark.” Jaebum greeted. “Yugyeom.” He said to the tallest in the room. He looked young – maybe even younger than Bambam.

“Why did you bring your husband here?” Jackson squinted towards Jinyoung’s direction. “You said he won’t affect the famiglia.”

“I’m vouching for him. He won’t say anything to anyone.” Jaebum firmly stated and everyone in the room, aside from Jinyoung, widened their eye in surprise.

“You are _vouching_ for him?” Jackson gasped and Jinyoung has had enough of him.

“Yes, Jackson. I’m Don and I’m giving you my word. Now, mind telling me what the fuck is going on?”

Mark nodded towards the corner of the room where a man lay in a heap. Jinyoung’s stomach rolled and grunted in protest. The man was bloodied and filthy; his suit was ripped at places and his arm looked bent. However, he was not unconscious and the glare he directed at Jaebum was of pure hatred. Jinyoung took a step back in sheer horror and hit Jaebum’s chest.

He turned around to peer at Jaebum but his husband’s gaze was focused on the man – all of the made men’s gazes were focused on the said man.

“What is this?” Jaebum asked with so much calm that it felt eerie to Jinyoung.

“Yugyeom found him on the phone. Conversing with someone from the Bangs.” Jackson stated. “Sounds like he was paying them dues.”

Jaebum took a sharp intake of breath and shook his head. “Is that true, Yugyeom? You know it’s not a light matter to accuse a fellow made man with something like that.”

“I’m sure of it, boss. I overheard his suspicious call in the bathroom and I had to verify it. I told Jackson about it and he did the questioning.” Yugyeom explained.

“Yeah. The fucker denied it of course but when i asked for his phone, he wouldn’t give it to me. Guess he had something to hide.” Jackson said looking at the man with such distaste, Jinyoung thought to be more careful around him. Jackson was not an easy man to deal with. “I had to throw in a couple of punches to get the phone. And you wouldn’t believe this brother, he was talking to Himchan. Kim fucking Himchan.”

Jaebum’s eyes glassed over as if he was dissociating from the moment, like he was somewhere far away and that scared Jinyoung more than when Jaebum was pissed off, but maintained a calm demeanor as he addressed the man on the floor, “I hope you know the consequences of what  you did. You deserve a much graver punishment than what I’ll give you for ruining my wedding reception and upsetting my husband.”

Jinyoung stood in horror and he felt the hair on his forearm stood up from the ominous atmosphere the room bathed in. He could not care less about being upset – he just wanted out. But Jaebum continued, “And for doing what you did in my mother’s home. You deserve pain for this betrayal but I can’t spend looking at you any longer.”

The man shouted curses at Jaebum. “This famiglia is gonna be fucking over! The Bangs will come for you, you know that, Jaebum. You’re not your father. You’re not cut out to be Don. You’re a spoiled kid-“

A whirring sound was heard then the man’s head hit the ground with a thud – a single hole in the middle of his forehead. The whole room stood silent.

Jaebum pulled out a handkerchief to wipe his gun before putting it back inside his coat pocket. He then said to the younger men, “Clean up this mess. Make sure Hyejin won’t know of this or else, you’ll be the next with a bullet in your head.”

He addressed Mark and Jackson next, “Mark, Jackson, find out what this was about. He might not be the only one going behind our backs. This famiglia is infested with fucking rats, we have to do a clean up.”

“Well, that was quick. Could’ve tortured him some more, just saying.” Jackson stated.

“I couldn’t stomach his fucking face any longer.” Jaebum shrugged, “But keep this among us for the mean time, okay? Even if someone from the famiglia inquires, don’t spill anything. If my father asked, direct him to me.”

“You and Jinyoung-sshi should probably go back upstairs. Everyone must be wondering where the newly weds had gone off to.” Mark smiled. “Don’t worry, Jaebum. I’ll find out everything that I can as soon as possible. And don’t let what that man said get to your head, okay?”

Jaebum gave a small nod before heading out the door. However, Jinyoung was too horrified and his feet were paralyzed. He just saw his husband kill a person – fired a bullet without as much as a blink of an eye. No remorse. No guilt. Jinyoung was about to vomit. Everything just became concrete; this was the nail driving all allegations towards Im Jaebum true. He really was a monster. He was the devil.

“Jinyoung, are you coming or not?” Jinyoung heard Jaebum call but he remained rooted to the ground. He heard a click of a tongue before he was dragged out of the room with Jaebum gripping tightly on his wrist. “I warned you.” Jinyoung heard Jaebum say softly.

“I want to go home.” Jinyoung stopped in his tracks, but not breaking free from Jaebum’s hold. “I want to go home. _Please_.”

Jaebum looked at him hard and long before sighing, “Okay. Let’s say our farewells to my parents first then we can go home.”

Jaebum told his parents that Jinyoung felt unwell and wanted to go home. They excused themselves politely and Jaebum’s mom promised to bring over her own herbal concoction that worked wonders with any sickness. Jinyoung felt bad for the woman – she did not know of the murder that happened in her own home. Jinyoung swallowed down the bile rising in his throat.

  


“I want a separate room.” Jinyoung said the moment he and Jaebum entered the house. He did not think he can endure being in the same space as Jaebum.

“What do you mean you want a separate room?” Jaebum said with enough force to make Jinyoung flinch. “And what’s wrong with you? You’ve been cowering from me ever since we left the manor.”

“You killed a man.” Jinyoung said.

“Yeah and so what? I’ve killed a lot of men and I will be killing more. What’s the fucking deal?”

Was Jaebum serious? Did he really not see where he went wrong? “It’s a big deal to me, Jaebum.” He saw Jaebum’s eyes widen – it was probably the first time Jinyoung called him by his name. “I can’t be with a monster.”

Jaebum shook his head, “He betrayed the famiglia, Jinyoung. It was the worst betrayal any made man could do. He was cheating on the business. I only did what I had to do.” He narrowed his eyes, “And you should’ve known better that it fucking works this way when you married me. It’s just the second day, Jinyoung. More blood will be shed. More life will be taken. It’s just going to be a matter of _whose_ blood and life it is going to be. Yours or them. So fucking grow a spine and suck it up.”

Jinyoung fought back the tears that was starting to wet his eyes. “I still want a separate room. That’s all I’m asking for. I won’t meddle and involve myself anymore. Just, keep me away from _that_.”

Jinyoung was aware just how weak and pathetic he looked but he could not live with that – seeing people die right in front of him. That was the one thing he avoided his whole life. He could fight everything else if it was directed at him. But he could not stomach it if the pain was dealt to others as he just watched in the sidelines. Jinyoung presumed he could learn to live with knowing Jaebum does it for a living – he had no choice, after all. He could never escape this life, but he needed time and space to get to that. And he can only hope Jaebum would give him that.

Jaebum pinches the bridge of his nose, “Fine but I hope you know that I’m doing you a great favor. Just don’t mention this to anyone in the family.”

Jinyoung nodded. He knew that Jaebum did not need him anyways. There would be no reason as to why he would insist on them sleeping in the same quarters other than holding up mafia virtues. After all, no matter how horrified and disgusted Jinyoung might be of the things that went down for the day, it was not Jaebum’s problem. The lion did not lose sleep over the opinions of a sheep.

“I’ll go to my office. I need to clean this fucking mess. I’ll send someone over to prepare the guest room. You can stay in the master’s bedroom for the meanwhile.” Jaebum said but his tone sounded faraway, like he was already thinking about how to deal with the famiglia’s situation.

Truly, the famiglia came first before anything else.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
> It was a bit longer than the previous two if you've noticed. Also, pardon if there were typos - my eyes were literally falling shut on me.  
> Thank you so much for sparing the time :)))
> 
> Drop in the comments what you think or you can talk to me at [twitter](https://twitter.com/crudescere) or [cc](https://curiouscat.me/crudescere)  
> Thank you for stopping by!


	4. Chapter 4

IV

 

 

Mors ultima linea rerum est

(Death is everything’s final limit)

\- Epistles 1, XVI, 79, Horace

 

 

Jinyoung did not know where he was. It was dark. Jinyoung blinked his eyes but no matter how much he tried to focus, he could not make out anything. It was pitch black. The air felt stale and it hurt Jinyoung’s lungs when he took a deep breath. The atmosphere was humid and thick with something Jinyoung could not put a finger on. It smelled funny – something sharp and metallic. It almost smelled like blood. Jinyoung shook his head; thinking about negative things, he will only scare himself more. As if he was not freaking out already. There was no need for him to actively frighten himself. He has always prided himself for being smart and intuitive so that was what he needed to be right now.

He took a tentative step. He must be in a room of some sort if the loud creak from the floor gave him any clue. It must be wooden flooring and he hoped that there would be a light switch somewhere. Jinyoung was about to take another step when suddenly, rattling sounds broke the deafening silence and a cold breeze went past him. Jinyoung whimpered and it echoed throughout the room he supposed he was in. There must be windows lining up the walls, hence the loud rattling sound and the cold breeze. Jinyoung did not hear any other noise aside from his loudly beating heart and labored breathing after, so he assumed he was all alone. Sweat trickled down Jinyoung’s temple all the way to his cheek then to his neck. All his senses were hyperaware and he shuddered when another cold breeze hit him. He refocused his breathing as he tried to calm down. There was no use in succumbing to the panic and anxiety. He still did not know where he was.

Jinyoung took a hesitant step again – little by little, ignoring the creaks every time he hit a particular worn out piece of wood. He stretched his arms in front of him in hopes of hitting a wall. A couple more steps and his fingers brushed something. He startled but reached for it cautiously, feeling something flat, dusty and solid. A wall. That was a good sign – so he was indeed in a room. Jinyoung examined the surface – he ran his hands up and down, right and left. He tried to feel for anything that might resemble a light switch. And he did. He held his breath and mentally prepared himself for whatever it was that was going on.

As soon as he put the pressure on the switch and it turned on, bright light blinded Jinyoung and to his horror, simultaneously as the light shone, the ground he stood on gave up under him. He screamed as he fell through.

Jinyoung landed with a loud thud on his side. The impact was harsh and he felt his shoulder gave out from its socket. He winced from the severe pain that shot throughout his body and bit his lips to keep himself from letting out the sobs that was trying to escape his lips. When the dizziness from the impact subsided, Jinyoung opened his eyes and came face to face with his husband. Only this time, he was trapped inside a cage while his husband stared at him from outside.

Jinyoung quickly scanned the room. Surrounding him were made men – some faces, he recognized from his wedding to Jaebum, the others, he did not. But all remained the same, they were all looking at him like one would to a circus animal. It did not help that he was in a cage – he felt such a profound fear rack his body that left him gasping for air. What was he doing inside? How did he get there? Why was Jaebum just staring at him?

And he was watching Jinyoung like the way he watched that traitor from yesterday – the one he killed with a bullet to the forehead. Face impassive. Emotions gone from his eyes.

A movement from the edge caught Jinyoung’s attention and Jackson emerged from the darkness at the sides. He was grinning from ear to ear and there was a sense of triumph reflected in his eyes as he walk past Jinyoung’s cage and onto where Jaebum was seated. Jackson smirked at him before handing Jaebum something.

Jinyoung’s face paled – it was a gun.

The crowd started to holler as they threw their fists in the air. But Jinyoung could not hear anything. He saw from the periphery of his vision all the commotion but there was no sound. Real and heart-stopping fear gripped at Jinyoung. He heaved and fought for air to enter his lungs but it was useless. Jinyoung was not able to hold back the vomit rising from his stomach as he emptied its contents _there_. He choked harshly as he felt his throat constrict while the acid burned everything it touched. He retched and puked until he felt it was going to be his guts next. Tears stung his eyes and blurred his vision. He struggled to look up and Jinyoung caught eyes with Jaebum again – the throng of audience faded in the background.

His husband walked towards him with calculated steps. His face was still devoid of emotions and if only Jinyoung was not paralyzed and scared shitless, he would throw curses at him. There was something explicitly evil that glinted at Jaebum’s eyes now that he was close enough to Jinyoung.

With eyes that were wide and blood shot, and mouth that was bitter from the bile and gastric contents, he managed to squeak out a word.

His husband’s name. _Jaebum_.

That seemed to trigger something in Jaebum. For his husband raised an arm with an expert’s ease and pointed the gun straight at Jinyoung.

Jaebum smiled before pulling the trigger.

 

 

 

 

Jinyoung jolted awake with a loud scream. Sweating buckets, panting hard like he ran a marathon and clutching the duvet for dear life. He immediately looked around – he was in his room, alone. It was not dark, the sun shining brightly into his window. The floor was not wooden, expensive marble gleaming in the sunlight. There was no cage, only the empty beige walls. And most importantly, there was no Jaebum.

It was all a nightmare – a fucking detailed and vivid nightmare.

It was so clear and _real_ that Jinyoung could still see it when he closed his eyes, still sent cold shivers down his spine.

Jinyoung focused on calming himself before getting out of bed. He had no intentions of going back to sleep – he _could_ not, even if he tried. His stomach grumbled however and it prompted him to step out of the room. He opened the door and peered into the hallway – it was empty and quiet. But there was nothing new about that, Jaebum’s house was big and there seemed to be just him, his husband and a few servants residing inside so it was always quiet. Jinyoung padded down the hallway and the massive staircase, heading to the kitchen. Or at least where he thought the kitchen was.

He silently prayed not to bump into Jaebum. He was still reeling from the horrifying dream and everything that went down yesterday. It was all too fresh. Jinyoung did not know how to act around Jaebum now that not only he despised him, he also _feared_ him. Hope was slowly ebbing from Jinyoung. There really was no escaping this life. Maybe it would be better if he just gave up altogether. Maybe it was just not worth it.

Jinyoung sighed as he rounded a corner. Well at least, he did not get lost. It was the first time he visited the dining hall. It had a long, heavy-looking wooden table that was empty.

A servant fortunately entered the room. “Did you need anything, sir?”

“Uhm, I was wondering if there’ll be something I could eat?” Jinyoung replied sheepishly. “Or if you could show me to the kitchen, I can prepare it my own.”

The servant’s eyes widen in shock, “Did you mean you haven’t eaten yet, sir?”

Jinyoung nodded and he glanced at the clock by the wall. Eleven thirty in the morning. No wonder he was so hungry and after having an intense nightmare? He was ready to devour a horse. “I’ve only just woken up. So, yeah.”

“I am so sorry, sir.” The servant bowed in apology. “I’ll set up a meal as quickly as I can. Do you have anything you prefer? Or cannot eat, perhaps? The Don didn’t specified anything about your food preferences.”

Jinyoung scowled. Of course, Jaebum would not know about what he liked and did not. The man cared about nothing aside from his famiglia. “I’m fine with anything. But coffee please, I need to have coffee everyday.”

The servant eagerly nodded before leaving in haste. “Right away, sir.”

Jinyoung pulled out a chair from the table and sat. He slumped and thought of what he would do for the day. He did not know if he could go out; Jaebum did not say that he could not but Jinyoung was wary of it. What if there was a rule in the mafia codes that said spouses are to be held prisoner? Or that they should be accompanied by a horde of bodyguards whenever they left the household premises? He only had the basic knowledge to the mafia. His family were not really the same as them. Park Jintae was a measly gang leader who liked to think he was more than that. He and his men did not know how to wield power like how the mafiosi did. Obviously, even if they were both from the underground society, Jaebum and his family were at the helm, commanding and steering while Jinyoung’s family, Park Jintae and his men were all just mechanics doing the dirty work for them. There was a stark class divide from where they both came from. He did not know which side of that divide was better.

Jinyoung did not want to go outside, anyways. Albeit just being awake for a few minutes, he was dead tired. He was able to succumb to sleep really late and then the nightmare came. Jinyoung did not have the energy to spend time outside. Besides, what would he even do? He did not have any friends he could hang out with and he definitely would not spare time to pay his father a visit. It was also just in time that he finished attending university. Jinyoung felt a new sense of anxiousness – would he just waste away doing nothing? He has never felt truly lost before. At least when he was still with his father, he had a mission – to get out of the criminal life. Now, even that was gone. There was no escaping Jaebum. He felt _lonely._

Jinyoung was snapped out of his musings by the servant from earlier driving a cart full of lovely dishes towards him. At least in this house, he would not have to starve. Maybe he should be thankful of little and trivial things like this.

Jinyoung sighed, wondering the whereabouts of his husband. “Uhm, do you know where Jaebum is?”

The servant perked up, “When the Don goes out for business, he is gone most of the day. He comes back late in the night. But usually, he spends most of his time in his office with the other men in the family coming here.”

Jinyoung frowned at that, so Jaebum did business in the house. “Is everyone from the family allowed to enter the house?”

“Oh no, the Don would be furious. The house is only open for those he trusted the most. It’s mostly just his parents, sir Jackson and sir Mark. Unless the Don allowed it, no one else can enter.” The servant eagerly replied as he set the meals in front of Jinyoung.

Jinyoung let out a sigh of relief. At least, he would not be subjected to much exposure with made men again. But the mere thought of seeing Jackson for a second time sent Jinyoung’s stomach boiling with disgust. He remembered the grin he wore in Jinyoung’s nightmare when he handed Jaebum the gun, the victory in his stance – it was like he was taunting Jinyoung.

“Does Jackson come here often?”

The servant looked at Jinyoung confusedly. “Yes. He’s the Don’s brother and whenever the Don is home, sir Jackson is almost always here too.”

Jinyoung let that information stew. So, he would likely encounter Jackson more often than he liked. He must be frowning hard because the servant asked. “Are you okay, sir?”

“Oh yes. Thank you for the food. You may leave now.” Jinyoung said and the servant bowed before leaving Jinyoung to eat in silence.

 

 

That continued for almost a week. Five days of Jinyoung being left alone in Jaebum’s house without the said owner. Jinyoung spent his days chatting up the servants and exploring the house. But majority of his time, he was holed up in Jaebum’s library.

It was something Jinyoung looked forward to everyday upon waking up and he always felt bad whenever the day ended and he had to part with the shelves and the books. Although sometimes, he could not help bringing whatever his current reading material back to his bedroom. There was also a time where he just laid on the couch there and spent the night surrounded by literature.

The week felt like some sort of a healing period for Jinyoung. He did not have a repeat of the nightmare and he also started sleeping more peacefully. It helped that he has not seen Jaebum for the totality of the five days. Jinyoung did not know if the man even went home all week – well, he also did not care. It was better that way. At least, he was not continuously subjected to irritating made men remarks or was forced to pretend he _enjoyed_ being married to Jaebum.

He was about to flip the page of his current novel at hand when he heard a loud crash. Jinyoung startled and stood up, walking towards where the sound came from. The servants might have encountered a mishap and someone may have gotten hurt. Though the servants were not at all that chatty unless asked, Jinyoung had formed a comfortable bond with them and if they needed help, well, maybe Jinyoung can be of some.

However, when he arrived at the entryway, no servants were in sight making the ruckus. Instead, there were two men in handsome suits and expensive leather shoes. Made men. And they looked familiar – Jinyoung has seen them.

“I told you to hold it properly!” Bambam whined and crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s your fault.

Yugyeom pointed accusingly at Bambam, “How was it my fault? I was holding it properly! You were the one who let go!”

“Don’t blame me on this, Yugyeom. You’re dead once Jaebum-hyung gets here.” Bambam wagged a finger, pointed it at Yugyeom and made an imaginary line across his throat, suggesting just how dead the other will be.

“Fuck you! It was your fault. Watch it.” Yugyeom said while giving Bambam a particularly hard push on the chest.

Bambam stumbled a couple of steps backward. “You! You’ll pay for that, asshole.” He surged for Yugyeom but before he could land the punch he aimed at the other, Jinyoung interjected.

“Don’t!” He shouted and the two whipped their heads towards Jinyoung’s direction, wide eyed. Jinyoung was surprised himself,. He did not mean to intervene but the two looked like they were really out for blood so he was not able to stop himself.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Mr. Husband.” Bambam said, beaming at him – the earlier fight with Yugyeom forgotten.

Jinyoung was at a loss for words to say. The last time he saw the two, a man has been killed. He did not want to be associated with them – after all, he promised Jaebum that he would stay out of the family business. Clearly, he was not cut out for the life of organised crime.

“U-uh, Jaebum isn’t here.” Jinyoung’s brain managed to come up with.

“We know.” Yugyeom said and he was staring at Jinyoung with such curiosity like he found him interesting.

Jinyoung then noticed the container that was on the floor. It had cracked at one side and white powder spilled through it. Jinyoung had his suspicions on what the substance might be about but he hesitated. On the one hand, the urge to know what the substance’s identity was strong. It was natural for Jinyoung to be inquisitive and eager to learn. However, on the other hand, the powder might very well be cocaine and he knew better than to involve himself with its dealings. But why were the two men hauling drugs in his home when his husband was not even around?

Bambam must have noticed Jinyoung staring at the container because he made a show of approaching it. Then, he bent down and took a swipe of the white powder with one index finger, brought it near his nose, as if to smell. Afterwards, he inserted the powdered finger inside his mouth – all the while, staring straight at Jinyoung. “It’s cocaine in case you’re wondering. Shitty quality though. Jaebum-hyung would be pissed big fucking time.”

“Hey, you think it’s alright telling him that?” Yugyeom said.

“Chill, dude. He literally married the boss. He’ll be used to stuff like this if he isn’t already. He is from a gang family, you know?” Bambam replied. “I bet he can line and snort this shit like a pro.”

“Nah, I wouldn’t give him that much credit.” Yugyeom pointed at Jinyoung, “I mean, look at him. He looks scared.”

And Jinyoung was scared. He saw firsthand how cocaine affected people – how it affected his father. The blows were harder, the kicks stronger. Jinyoung knew all too well how a person acted under the influence of the said drug. He should really start walking away while he still can.

But just as Jinyoung took a step back, the front door opened and he saw Jaebum standing – furious.

“What the fuck?!” Jaebum roared when he saw the container lying helplessly on the ground with some of the powder scattering around. “I asked you one thing.” He seethed, “One thing! I told you to fucking take it down the goddamned basement. You couldn’t even do that? Huh?”

Bambam raised his hands up in an act of surrender just as Yugyeom took a step back from Jaebum, “We’re sorry, hyung. I swear, it wasn’t intentional. It just slipped.”

“It fucking slipped? You dare give me that excuse?” Jaebum pressed the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “It’s _cocaine_ , Bambam. Not just some fucking flour that can easily be swept.”

“We’re really sorry, boss.” Yugyeom said in a soft voice, his head hung low.

Jaebum breathed in deep and harshly exhaled. “You know what, whatever. Jackson’s about to arrive here in fifteen minutes to check it. Bring it downstairs, now.”

Jinyoung caught eyes with Jaebum but the latter did not give much of an acknowledgement. He just raised a brow at Jinyoung as if asking why he was still watching them when he clearly said he would not butt in their business.

Bambam squeaked and fidgeted that brought Jaebum’s attention back to the two young men, “Uhm, about that. I may have tested it myself? And you’re gonna murder this supplier hyung, it’s very diluted.”

Jinyoung saw Yugyeom shook his head and face palmed at his friend’s – were the two friends? Jinyoung was not sure but there was something familiar with the way they bickered so Jinyoung assumed they were – answer.

“You tasted it?” Jaebum sounded incredulous. “What the fuck, Bam! I told you we don’t do drugs. We only sell it.”

“Hey! I’m not an addict, hyung. I don’t even like cocaine. I just wanted to drive a point to your husband, he seemed _interested._ ”

Jinyoung balked at the statement. No way was he, in any way, interested at drugs. “I’m not.”

Jaebum cocked his head and looked at Jinyoung with a heavy scowl, “Then why are you still here?”

Jaebum said it with a dismissive tone that did not ask for a reply. And Jinyoung did not have to be told twice – he glared at Jaebum then turned on his heel and walked away.

 

 

Jinyoung went back to the library. By now, he called it _his_ sanctuary.

He scoffed as he remembered how Jaebum dismissed him. Well, the joke was on him because Jinyoung definitely did not want to know what was going on. Jaebum and the others can get fucking high in his office or whatsoever. He did not care.

Jinyoung sat on the couch, thankful that it was situated beside the huge windows. Sometimes, when he encountered a particularly striking passage, he would gaze outside the window and at the lush greenery, and he would just _feel_. He enjoyed the feeling of being in solitude and losing himself inside his own head.

However, he has not even opened a book yet when the door to the library banged open.

“Aha! You’re really here!” Bambam shouted.

Jinyoung perked up. “Did you need to use the library?” He asked cautiously because _why would they come after him?_

“Nope.” Bambam said, popping the ‘p’. He sauntered towards Jinyoung who stilled instantly when the made man sat beside him on the couch.

Jinyoung peered towards the doorway, noticing that no one else came after Yugyeom followed Bambam inside. Jinyoung was suddenly trapped in a room with the two mafiosi.

Bambam threw an arm around Jinyoung’s shoulder. “Chill out, man. Whatever did hyung do to you to make you so fidgety?”

_He killed a man,_ Jinyoung wanted to answer. But he also knew that the two men in the room with him had made their own bones – killed their own share of victims to be what they were.

“Did he send you here?” Jinyoung hissed.

“Who? Hyung? Nah, Jackson-hyung arrived and they were all over the business in a matter of seconds, as usual.” Bambam indicated. “They kicked us out of the room saying it was top secret.” He scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Top secret, my ass. I bet they just want all the coke to themselves. I bet they’re fucking high right now as we speak.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widen. Was it really possible? He wanted not to care about it but he could not – the images of his father intoxicated with the drug were still fresh in Jinyoung’s memory. He vaguely remembered hearing Jaebum say that they did not do drugs but it was a possibility. Did he really bring cocaine home for personal use? Jinyoung’s head spun – oh god, did he marry a drug addict?

Yugyeom threw a book at Bambam’s direction. “Yah! Don’t say that. Look at Jinyoung, he’s believing you.”

Bambam laughed aloud which pissed Jinyoung. He had every right to panic about the possibility of his husband being addicted to illicit substances. They shared the same house for goodness’ sake – his safety was compromised.

“You’re a funny one.” Bambam patted Jinyoung’s back. “Jaebum-hyung would _never_ be addicted to such things as drugs. He’s way, way above that.”

“It was his own rule to never let anyone in the famiglia be addicted to it. He said that empires fall when the people running them start to lose their focus, and there’s no better way to lose focus than you know, get high.” Yugyeom said said as he propped himself on the table opposite the couch. “It wasn’t Cosa Nostra but members of the famiglia follow it. I mean, it made sense.” He shrugged.

Jinyoung let Yugyeom’s words settle over him. It did make a lot of sense and Jinyoung was torn between accepting the fact that Jaebum was definitely wiser than he gave him credit for – and being disgusted by the fact that he exactly knew that their business was ruining _other people’s_ lives and they were perfectly okay with it as long as money came in.

Before he could reply however, Bambam whistled. “You know you sound like you’re in love with hyung?”

To which Yugyeom answered with a shrug, “Who knows, but you can’t deny that the boss is one hell of a scary motherfucker. You gotta respect a man like him.”

“Eeew! He’s almost my hyung, remember? That’s gross, man. And are you forgetting that he’s married already? And that his husband is right fucking here?” Bambam pointed at Jinyoung.

Jinyoung was starting to get irritated. What was their purpose in disturbing him, anyways? They might be mafiosi but Jinyoung, subconsciously, started to feel more annoyed than scared. Because really, the two behaved more like brats than actual mob members – especially, Bambam.

“What are you doing here, exactly?”

Bambam brightened up, “Where here to chat! We wanted to get to know you more.”

Jinyoung was bewildered. Bambam was such an odd character and Yugyeom too, since he only encouraged Bambam’s eccentric behaviour. Jinyoung mildly wondered how the two actually survived and made a living with doing crimes. It was impossible to imagine. But then again, he had seen them composed and calm even when Jaebum fired a gun to a man’s head – they did not bat an eye too.

“Come on, what’s gotten you so afraid? We’re not going to harm you. Jaebum-hyung would kill us if we so much as harm a hair on your head. He’s really protective and territorial, you know?” Bambam sniggered.

No, Jinyoung most definitely did not know. His husband left him all alone for almost a week, after all. Jinyoung wondered how _that_ was being territorial – but then again, Jinyoung was a mere trading object for Jaebum. He was no one important for his husband to be protective of.

Jinyoung decided to engage Bambam. It was opportunity for him to learn more about the famiglia. “Uhm, what was that back there? Is it normal for Jaebum to bring drugs home?”

Bambam looked absolutely delighted, “So you _are_ interested! Jaebum-hyung can suck my dick. He’s such an anti-social for saying you aren’t.” He clapped his hands, “That container was a sample. Our usual supplier couldn’t provide enough this month because he ran in with the law, stupid fucker. So we imported from another but the revenue from the streets started to plummet down since last week and Jaebum-hyung got so fucking mad. He reckoned it’s got to do with the goods so he decided to test the substance.”

Yugyeom added, “We usually do it down the lab but it was all short notice so we just brought it here.”

“And I’m pretty sure that someone is dying as we speak or if not – soon. The motherfucker had the audacity to sell us diluted goods. It’s no wonder the folks won’t buy it. The crack is bad.” Bambam shook his head. “This is why Italian suppliers are better than Mexicans.”

Jinyoung reeled from the information, “And you’re okay with that?”

“What do you mean, hyung? I can call you hyung, right? I know you’re older than me, so pretty please? Pleaaase.” Bambam pouted and really, Jinyoung would not have believed that they were talking about drugs if he had not seen the commotion earlier. It was just unbelievable, how they were conversing as if it was the most normal thing in the world. He nodded, nonetheless.

“Great! So what did you mean, hyung? Of course, we’re okay with Jaebum-hyung and Jackson-hyung doing the testing. I swear, those two are invincible when they are together. They’ll know in an instant how much the percentage of coke was in that container just by looking at it. They’re _gods_ , I tell you.” Bambam almost vibrated in his seat.

Jinyoung did not have the time to be amazed by his husband’s supposedly god-like powers when it comes to drugs because, “No, not that. I meant, you’re okay with someone dying? Just like that?”

“Why not?” Jinyoung heard Yugyeom say. “They cheated us. It’s what they deserve.”

Bambam continued, “Yeah, we wouldn’t be able to sell those, anyways. Maybe to really desperate folks in the street but that doesn’t mean much money. No important man would buy that stuff, and _that_ – that’s where real money comes from.” Bambam smirked, “Did you know that the prime minister’s son constantly begged me for five bags of coke and three of heroin? Said he’s throwing a party with friends. I amped up the price for several wons and he didn’t even complain. Stupid crackhead.”

Jinyoung shook his head vehemently, “But do they really deserve death? Couldn’t you just punish them in another way?”

Yugyeom looked at Jinyoung like he was looking at an animal he has never seen before – like he was stupid for not getting it, “If Jaebum-hyung won’t kill them, others would just follow. And that’s bad business, we would crumble. They can’t think they can do us dirty like that. The Im famiglia stays at the top, no one else.”

Jinyoung could not believe what he was saying. How was it alright to just off a man like that? It was horrifying, it was pure _evil_. “How could you say that? You’re not God.”

“It’s just how it is. It’s the law that makes the underground work. This is our life and we are sworn to it.” Yugyeom shrugged, “We are made.”

Bambam patted Jinyoung’s head, “Don’t worry, hyung. You will get used to it soon.”

No, Jinyoung did not want that. He did not want to get used to anything at all.

 

 

Jinyoung finally got out of the house. He had mustered the courage to speak to Jaebum and tell him that he wanted to go outside for a change of scenery. He might love the library, but he was not about to settle in being a prisoner. He recalled the frown that marred Jaebum’s face when he entered the Don’s office.

“Why?” Jaebum had asked.

“What do you mean why? I was cooped up inside all week and I want to go outside.” Jinyoung reasoned.

“Then go outside. No one’s stopping you.” Jaebum replied and continued reading what appeared to be account tables.

“I meant, _outside_. I want to read by the Han River.”

 Jaebum looked up at that, “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Jinyoung.”

“Well, I want to. You leave the house all the time, I don’t see why I can’t. I’m not your prisoner, Jaebum.” Jinyoung tested. He has seen Jaebum get mad for the littlest of things but he had to try.

“Because it’s dangerous for you.”

“It’s just as dangerous for you, if not more.”

Jaebum let out a loud sigh, “Do you always have to test my patience?”

And before Jinyoung could filter his words, he has already blurted, “There’s no patience to test, though?”

Jaebum hardened with a scowl, “You should really watch your mouth.”

Granted, Jinyoung did not intend to say that. It just slipped off his tongue – he could not help his inherent insolence leaking. “See, you’re getting mad.”

“That’s because you keep on disrespecting me.” Jaebum retorted but he also pulled out his phone from the desk drawer and dialled a number. “Alright, you can go out. But only to the Han river, understand? You’ll have a bodyguard with you and don’t ever try running away from him. I’m serious, Jinyoung. It’s very dangerous for you out there. Everyone knows you’re married to me. Stay in the open. Do you understand me?”

Jinyoung did not expect it to be that easy. He thought Jaebum would adamantly keep him imprisoned at home. Maybe, Jaebum was not a total inconsiderate jerk. Maybe, he could be reasoned with. Or maybe, he just did not care about Jinyoung’s safety all that much.

Well, what was important was that he got outside and was now lounging by the Han river with a book in hand. The place was familiar, he grew up in Yeouido after all. He blanched at the fact that this was the reason he was in so much shit. If it was not for this damned district, he would still be able to stroll around town freely whenever he wanted, to do whatever he wanted.

Instead, he had to tell his husband what he was about to do and have a bodyguard stuck at his side the whole time.

Whatever, Jinyoung discarded all mafia related thoughts running in his mind. He was seated by the river and he intended to make good use of the short lived freedom offered to him.

 

 

Time passed and the bright afternoon sun dimmed to give way to the rising moon. Jinyoung had not noticed the time passing by quickly. He got too engrossed with the adventures in the book and the serene calm surrounding him – the gentle breeze blowing through his hair and the soft rustling of the leaves. The dull chatters also served as background noise and really, Jinyoung did not realise how much he missed being outside.

Jinyoung turned his head around and surveyed his surroundings. Now, that was weird. His bodyguard was nowhere to be seen. The car they used was parked a good few kilometres away and Jinyoung contemplated if he should just wait for his bodyguard to show his face again or maybe head to the car himself. There was no reason for his bodyguard to disappear just like that, however – there must be something that prompted him to leave Jinyoung. But what though? Jaebum was very clear that he stick to Jinyoung’s side at all times. Maybe Jaebum called and something important came up?

However, the area was starting to get dark and Jinyoung decided it was time to go back home. He guessed that it would be more dangerous if he stayed out a little longer.

Jinyoung stood up and brushed the dust off his pants. He walked towards the main street. The car was parked near a mall at the opposite side of Han River Park where tourists and most of the locals loved to waste their time. It was crowded around its general vicinity since the night market was a really hot spot and Jinyoung thought it was better to use a shortcut – the last time he remembered using the route, he was still in high school and he only ever used it in daylight. But he was confident enough with the area to consider running into any real trouble and besides, his father had ran the streets of Yeouido. The gangsters knew him, especially now that he had become infamous in the underground.

He ducked into an alley and followed his instincts. There were scarce lampposts around and Jinyoung relied on memory more than the actual layout of the streets. He turned right, walked a few steps forward and then he turned left. The streets were all empty and the more he walked, the darker the sky got. Jinyoung hastened, feeling eerie.

A few steps more, Jinyoung started to hear footsteps that were definitely not his own. Fear and paranoia seeped into him but whenever he looked back, he could only see an empty street. Jinyoung sped up his pace and the footsteps quickened as well; Jinyoung slowed down to a walk and the footsteps did too. There was no denying it, _someone_ was following him. Jinyoung tried to remember how long it still took for him to reach the end of the alley and if his memory would serve him right, not much was left. Just a little bit more.

Jinyoung tried to stay calm. He had watched several crime documentaries to know that perpetrators could smell fear. It must be some homeless beggar who saw him slip into a deserted alley and thought he could extort money from Jinyoung – they frequented isolated areas near commercial centers, after all, just waiting for unsuspecting tourists. It spiked fear in Jinyoung, nonetheless and he cursed at his supposed bodyguard. Where was the man when he needed actual protection? Jinyoung made a mental note to give Jaebum a lengthy discussion on how useless his men were – so much for being a proud mafioso.

Jinyoung saw the end of the narrow street at last. He could vaguely make out the mass of people thrumming around the edges of the night market. Just a couple more steps and he would blend in with the crowd, inevitably losing his follower. Jinyoung let out relieved sigh.

It extremely caught Jinyoung by surprise when a figure from the shadows jumped in front of him just as soon as he was about to take the final step towards the noise of people. He was not even able to let out a scream as a handkerchief was used to cover his mouth and nose. Jinyoung thrashed against the man holding him still but it was no use, his assailant was obviously a lot stronger than him. He quickly shot a hand down his jean pocket and pressed on his phone’s side buttons to activate emergency help – to alert Jaebum. Jinyoung silently thanked the man for being so obstinate and insisting he put Jaebum’s number as emergency contact.

Jinyoung, unfortunately, was not able to make it certain if his call went through because when he tried to bite the hand of his assailant in an attempt to get free, Jinyoung felt another set of hands restraining him. He heard a sharp _fuck_ and then Jinyoung felt a kick behind his knees that sent him kneeling. Another kick was dealt to him, this time to his side, and he slumped onto the cold ground instantly.

Jinyoung tried to get a good look of his attackers’ faces but he did not recognise either of the two. “I have no money, please.” He managed to choke out. And it was true, Jinyoung did not bother to bring a wallet or any amount of cash with him. He only wanted to relax and read under Seoul’s warm sun while having the front view of its esteemed river, after all. He did not expect to be cornered like this.

One of the men kicked him hard on the stomach and Jinyoung panicked that he might have broken a rib – there was a sudden intense, sharp pain at his right side. It was the same pain he had when his father got too much that one time in elementary, and that turned out to be a fracture. Jinyoung was suddenly rendered helpless.

“No money, you said? You think we’re stupid, don’t you? We know who you are. We know who your husband is. So I suggest, you give us what we want. Money.” One of his attackers said, stepping on his hand and crushing it under his shoe.

So, this was really because he married Jaebum. God, Jinyoung hated him so much. If it were not for his union to him, he would not be in this situation.

“I promise, I don’t have money with me.” Jinyoung coughed out and he was seriously starting to worry because _was that blood in his spit? And why was everything starting to get blurry?_

One of the guys tapped the other, “Well, look at him. Even if he doesn’t have an ounce on him, we could still have some _fun_.”

The way the man said the word, Jinyoung felt chills ran down his spine and the hairs on his forearms stood. He did not like his tone, it sounded so much like a predator about to devour his prey.

“What of the Im’s Don?” Jinyoung heard one man say.

The other man scoffed and spat at Jinyoung’s face, “You think his husband cared? He sent him all on his own with a measly bodyguard. Stupid idiot couldn’t even dodge a knife to the throat. I guess it’s true that the Ims are going down.”

“You’re right. No made man from Cosa Nostra will let his lover stroll around this defenseless, especially a Don, if he really cared. So I guess we can have him if his husband won’t.” The man crushing Jinyoung’s hand laughed.

Jinyoung did not want to believe what was happening. He knew there was no getting out of the situation he was in. This was not like his wedding night with Jaebum. _No_ , these men had every intentions of hurting him. And no matter how much he closed his eyes, cried or begged, this nightmare was something he could not snap himself out of. This was too real and it was going to happen no matter what.

Still, Jinyoung fought. He tried to kick and slap and punch. His lungs protested but he could not give up. The men did not show him any pity either. They did not hold back from the blows they gave him and Jinyoung thought that even if he escaped and survived, he would not last a day in the hospital from all the organ damage he probably had.

The men must have grown tired from beating him black and blue; they must have had enough of Jinyoung uselessly trying to land weak attacks. One of the men went towards his pants.

And although Jinyoung was losing consciousness, the action made him jerk and shout. “No!”

“Shut up, bitch. You’ve resisted enough. Shut the fuck up and enjoy. We promise to treat you real _good_.” The other man said and started ripping off the buttons on Jinyoung’s shirt.

“No, please, no.” Jinyoung sobbed. He was too bruised and hurt to even lift a finger. His lungs were burning too and he could not seem to stop choking on his own saliva and maybe, blood.

“Aww, look at him. He’s _begging_. Ain’t he cute?” The man unzipping his pants said, “Don’t worry, I’ll treat you better than your husband could ever. You wouldn’t want to have any other cock up your ass ever again, pretty face.”

Jinyoung fought his burning lungs and let out a choked scream, his last attempt at getting help. However, his cry was met with fingers shoved deep in his mouth. “Fucking shut up, you whore. It’s useless. No one could hear you from here, the crowd’s far enough. And with the music booming? You’re only wasting your energy, sweetheart. And even if they did, no one would really care. So fucking shut up, hmm.”

His pants along with his underwear was yanked down to his knees and Jinyoung snapped his eyes shut. There was nothing he could feel aside from utter disgust, abhorrence, and _fear._

Jinyoung braced himself for the inevitable but a sharp and loud bang resonated in the air – and then, the two men hovering above him suddenly fell and slumped over his body.

He opened his eyes to see what happened but his vision was all too blurry and his head was spinning so goddamned fast.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!” Jinyoung heard someone cursed but it was muffled and distant – it was like Jinyoung was submerged underwater, his ears filled with liquid.

The voice sounded very familiar though and he used all his remaining strength to focus on the newcomer. Dark spots dotted the periphery of his vision but he recognised the man hauling the two bodies off him. He was holding a gun too – _ahh, so that was where the loud bang came from_ , Jinyoung thought.

“I will fucking behead these motherfuckers. Jesus Christ, Jaebum will be fucking enraged!” The man hissed. “Don’t lose consciousness, Jinyoung. It’s painful but try to stay awake. I can’t deliver a fucking corpse to Jaebum. He would fucking kill me if I let you die.”

It was Jackson, Jinyoung realised. The man holding the gun and hauling him into a black sedan was Jackson.

Maybe Jinyoung did not hate him all that much now.

Then, he closed his eyes.

Jackson said Jaebum would kill him if he died. Well, maybe he still hated him enough to let that happen.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...that happened. *smiles awkwardly*
> 
> Thank you for sparing the time to read :D  
> Tell me what you think? I enjoy reading comments and talking to you guys!!!  
> Or talk to me at [twitter](https://twitter.com/crudescere) or [cc](https://curiouscat.me/crudescere)  
> Thank you!!!
> 
>  
> 
> P.S.  
> ALSO, have you seen the MAMA stage? Yugyeom fucked me up so bad O.o and that Lullaby Nightmare ver? I'm dead. I'm on my way to hell, as you read this actually, and I'm not coming back. My demons need me. *cries* I love GOT7 so much.


	5. Chapter 5

V

 

Aegroto dum anima est, spes est

(As long as there is life there is hope)

\- Collected Works of Erasmus, Aadages II I 1 to II VI 100, Erasmus Mynors

 

 

Jaebum was teetering on a very, very thin line between trying his best to remain bureaucratic and just throwing all caution to the wind and bring everything into the mattresses. His inherently short patience was already stretched out thin and just a single, teeny, tiny drop of anything else not on his plan would snap it – and Jaebum swore, it would not be funny when it did. He would not be responsible if everybody died and the streets turn into rivers of blood. Nope, it will be everybody’s fault for pissing him the fuck off.

How dare those Mexicans trade him with bullshit. He played fair – he had morals and integrity – as long as the other party played fair too. He was a damned good businessman and he made sure that every deal he strike, it would benefit everyone that was in his team. Jaebum had never cheated off anybody so why the fuck would people think they can? He was absolutely livid.

Jaebum kicked the chair that was testing him since the moment he stepped into the room – it was the wrong height. Fuck. Who would buy an ugly chair as that? And flimsy too? The wooden furniture broke into pieces when it hit the wall and it only annoyed Jaebum more.

“What did the chair do?” Jackson asked, lounging lazily from another similarly stupid-looking chair from the side. “It was just standing there silently. Did you really have to kick it into its miserable death?”

Jaebum narrowed his eyes at his brother, “How come it doesn’t piss you off?”

“Believe me, brother, when I say I am ready to snap someone’s neck. But that doesn’t mean I would destroy all the furniture in this room.” Jackson teased, “What would we ever do to your attitude? You’re not going to have any friends with that, you know. Tell me, how does Jinyoung deal with your sour personality?”

Jaebum scoffed, “Don’t be stupid, Jackson. I’m with you almost every hour of the day. You know I don’t see Jinyoung to actually interact with him. Especially with what happened this week-“ Jaebum clenched his fist, “With those motherfuckers thinking they are good enough to mess with me.” Jaebum seethed, “I will fucking end them, you hear me, Jackson. One more move against me and I will run our famiglia to Mexico and obliterate those shitheads.”

Jackson stood up and pat Jaebum on the back, “Breathe, Jaebum. You know we can’t do that.” He paused for a second then as if coming to another conclusion, he continued, “You know what, I think we can. We totally _can_. What do you say about calling a war to the Mexicans? We have enough connections with the American mafia families to actually run them to the ground.”

“Stop it, you two.” Mark interrupted. He was so quiet that the brothers almost forgot he was there – well, Jaebum maybe but not Jackson. His senses were always attuned to Mark. “You’re both being stupid and reckless. That won’t benefit us in anyway and you know that.”

“And why is that, Mark?” Jackson turned his attention to their consigliere. “Why wouldn’t that be a lovely idea? I am sure we could pull it off.” Jackson’s tone was overly sweet. It was syrupy enough to alert Jaebum that Mark and Jackson were _at it_ again – because that type of sweetness, it was the kind of saccharine fruits get when they were about to be spoiled and rotten. That meant his brother and their consigliere were having a fight – again.

Mark rolled his eyes, “You perfectly know why. Mexico is one of the world’s biggest supplier of drugs. And we may not need them because we have Italy but what of the rest? The Irish? And the Outfit? They will retaliate if we damage Mexico. And are you, perhaps, forgetting the Russians? The Bratva import from them as well. I suggest we don’t test that idea unless you want the Russians coming here and massacring Korean streets.”

Jackson prickled, he had never been one to back down from an argument. It was a flaw both he and Jaebum had – their prides and their innate want to just dominate. “We have Cosa Nostra in Italy and America. We have Thailand.” Jackson paused, the continued, “We have China too.” Jaebum heard the underlying strain in Jackson’s voice. Even after all these years, the Triad was still a difficult topic for his brother.

Mark shook his head, “That won’t work. Theoretically, it will but really? Think about the casualties. It will affect the whole world, Jackson. Not just the underground. Sometimes, you ought to use your head.” Mark said the last sentence staring straight into Jackson’s eyes. Clearly, he meant something far beyond than what they were currently talking about.

“What did you say?” Jackson growled. He clenched his fist and aggressively took a step towards Mark who did not even flinch. Although Jaebum knew that his brother would not really hurt Mark, he stepped in.

“Enough of that, Jackson.” He reprimanded. “You know Mark has a point. I’m not to keen with going against the Bratvas, anyway. We don’t need that blood shed. Right now, what we got to do is make sure this shit won’t happen again.”

They had punished the cartel severely and Jaebum was sure that that served as a warning to all other cartels. Of course, they killed the leader. That was expected if one had the guts to cross Im Jaebum.

“I’m just saying that we could win, you know.” Jackson said, pointedly looking at Mark – declaring some sort of a challenge.

Mark replied, “And I’m saying that maybe winning isn’t all that worth it. Maybe there is something more important than that.”

Jaebum stared at Mark. There was a certain tinge of sadness in his words – he sounded like someone who has accepted defeat already. He also looked at Jackson like he was begging. What for, Jaebum did not know. Mark and his brother’s relationship, if one could even call it that, had always been complicated. From the outside, it looked stiff on the best days. Everyone in the famiglia, or at least those who were close enough, knew that they occasionally fucked each other. Yet Mark and Jackson could go on pretending their damnedest to be professional and detached from whatever they felt towards one another. It was painful to watch, Jaebum would say. Because amidst their weird dancing around, Jaebum saw the passion and love burning bright in their eyes. He wished he could just command them to get their heads out of their asses and just be _together_ but he also knew it was not that easy.

Jaebum sighed. He already have so much on his plate to even start fighting Jackson’s battles. Sure, he was only a couple of months older but he loved Jackson fiercely. To him, he was not only his younger brother but also his best friend. Over the years, he had picked up a habit of intervening in Jackson’s affairs – he did his best to help his brother out and made sure that in everything, Jackson came out as the winner.

Jaebum only ever thought and did what he deemed as best for Jackson. It came to a point where Jackson stopped talking to him, claiming that he did not need a brother who played hero every time – that he was capable enough to accomplish things on his own, without Jaebum’s help. It had hurt Jaebum deeply when the words were spat at his face but he understood. He knew Jackson thought he needed to prove himself to be accepted into Jaebum’s family. It was not even about the famiglia – no one knew in the business that Jackson was not a biological Im aside from those really close to their family. Jackson wanted to _earn_ his place as Seongwoo and Hyejin’s son, as Jaebum’s brother. And no matter how much they tried to tell him that he had already been part of the family the second he stepped into their home, Jackson would not have any of it. So Jaebum understood. It was just at times like this that he wanted to use his power to help Jackson solve whatever problem he had with Mark.

However, Jaebum also understood that their problem could only be solved by themselves alone.

He sighed as he pondered Mark’s word. He was not their consigliere just for show, Mark was all kinds of smart. So Jaebum wondered, if winning was not worth it – then what was?

 

 

 

Jaebum paced in his office. The sun was near gone from the sky and he could spot a few stars already dotting the darkening horizon. He was finally home. The past week was nothing if not hectic. There were meetings he attended, filth he cleaned and rats he killed. It was supposed to be a light evening for him with the business finally back to what it was like the month before but with more profits coming in. Even Jackson felt the stress of the week and opted to stay at his billion won apartment complex in the middle of Seoul. Jaebum shook his head at his brother’s taste, he never understood the kind of rest one could get from the hustle of the city. It was why he chose to have his home somewhere in the outskirts where he was far from people.

On the note of people, Jaebum was beginning to get annoyed that his husband was not at home yet. He had made it clear with Jinyoung that the latter should be back before the sun had set. And now, gazing towards the floor to ceiling windows, Jaebum’s eye twitched at the dark sky with the sun and his husband, nowhere in sight.

Jaebum regretted letting him outside. Jinyoung did raise solid points, he will not deny that but it was also a fact that Jaebum had lots of enemies that were just lurking in the shadows and waiting for him to slip and show weakness. That was almost impossible because Jaebum was trained not to show any fault – and he had mastered it too. He was well-versed in the art of putting a façade and disassociating himself from his emotions. He had learned to suppress his feelings at a young age, had known that vulnerability only brought death and blood. But now, Jaebum had married Jinyoung and that was a weak spot he cannot just brush over.

Jaebum thought about Jinyoung. He found him odd – the guy seemed averse to everything Jaebum and his famiglia stood for. Jaebum knew Jinyoung loathed him but the reason, he was not sure. As much as he was concerned, Jaebum could not lay a finger on anything that might have triggered Jinyoung’s hatred towards him. He had not done a single thing that would warrant the amount of hostility Jinyoung kept on showing him. God knew Jaebum did not have time to worry about another person right now.

He did not purposely intend on treating Jinyoung badly though. That time when Jinyoung cried during their wedding night still baffled Jaebum. He did not have actual problems with his husband – it was just that he was so disrespectful and Jaebum did not understand why the man kept on shouting. Still, the thought of inflicting harm on Jinyoung, when the man was as much of a victim as he was in their marriage, felt wrong.

Jaebum knew he held power over Jinyoung but he did not think it will do good for the both of them if he started using that against the innocent man. He was taught that abuse within a relationship was not to be accepted. It was severely frowned upon – almost a taboo. All his life, he had only seen Seongwoo love and respect Hyejin. It was ingrained in both his and Jackson’s brain that a lover made you stronger – made you see things you would not if you were alone. It was the one thing that differentiated a Cosa Nostra from another famiglia. And Jaebum might not be in love with Jinyoung but they were still married to each other – he might not be able to love him but Jaebum will give him respect.

That was why he mostly left his husband alone. Jinyoung made it clear that he did not want anything to do with the mafia – so Jaebum left him out of it. He had given him free access to everything in his home. But Jinyoung still wanted to go outside and his retorts at Jaebum still made the Don’s blood simmer.

The grandfather clock in his office chimed in another hour and Jaebum has had enough of Jinyoung being a wayward brat. Jaebum had given him freedom to go outside but that was it – if Jinyoung could not follow a simple instruction such as sticking to curfew, Jaebum will see to it that his husband learned his lesson soon. Jaebum will not stand for further disrespect.

He took his phone out and hit Jinyoung’s bodyguard’s number for a call. It rang and rang but no one picked up. Jaebum cursed. If this soldato purposely missed it, he will get a taste of punishment. _Everyone_ answered when the Don called.

The second time no one answered, Jaebum started to have a bad feeling. When his call was not picked up for the third time, Jaebum was _sure_ something was wrong. He was about to call his husband instead of the useless bodyguard who did not answer his damned phone when Jinyoung’s name flashed on his screen.

Jaebum immediately answered. “Where the fuck are you, Jinyoung?”

But no reply came. It was scuffling and muffled voices. It was hard to make out what was happening on Jinyoung’s side.

A loud crack and a few thuds, then Jaebum heard a shout that was definitely his husband’s. Jaebum clenched his jaw tight. _Fucking shit_.

He abruptly ended the call and quickly dialled Jackson’s number while power walking to his car parked at the front porch – blood simmering in his veins and making his ears ring. Jinyoung was in Yeouido and that’s where Jackson lived too. He was nearer to Jinyoung than Jaebum was. The Don could not believe what was happening. _Fuck_.

It took three rings before Jackson answered, “Hey, there brother. What service could I be of tonight?”

“Get your ass in your car right now.” Jaebum barked the order and fortunately, it looked like Jackson picked up the seriousness of the situation for Jaebum heard keys jingled and elevator doors closed just within seconds. “Jinyoung called me but fuck, Jackson. There was screaming. He’s supposed to be by the Han River. You’re closer, go get him.”

Jaebum heard the elevator ping and what sounded like Jackson hustling around, “Fuck, Jaebum. I told you it wasn’t a good idea to let him out.”

Jaebum growled, “It’s not the time for an argument, brother. I’m on my way. Bring Jinyoung back to your house, let’s meet there. I’ll call Mark too.” Jaebum got into his car and kicked its engine to start. “I’ll send you his specific coordinates now.” He emphasized before cutting the call, “Jackson, I need Jinyoung alive.”

Jaebum traced Jinyoung’s phone. He was glad that he placed a tracking device there. Jinyoung did not know of it and he would surely be angry if he learned but right now, the tracking device would probably be the only thing that can save his life – if Jackson got to him in time. And Jaebum prayed to God that he did because even if Jinyoung was practically a stranger, he was still the husband to Im famiglia’s Don.

Jaebum called Mark next and thankfully, the latter answered after one ring. “Mark, meet me at Jackson’s. Make it quick. And bring first aid. Fuck, bring _everything_. Jinyoung might be hurt.”

“I understand.” Mark replied without second thoughts and Jaebum had never been so relieved to have the man on his side. Mark was someone Jaebum can rely on without worrying the job would not be done right – because Mark did everything accurate and fast. Jaebum relied heavily on him and he was glad he made him his consigliere.

Jaebum threw his phone in the passenger seat and slammed onto the accelerator. He was furious. No one crossed Jaebum like this. Those motherfuckers will pay.

 

 

 

Jaebum met Mark at Jackson’s apartment, leaning by the door and waiting for him with a grim expression on his face and a suitcase on one hand. Mark gave a tiny nod to acknowledge Jaebum’s presence. “Boss.”

“Stop calling me boss, for fuck’s sake.” Jaebum went for the doorknob and huffed when it would not turn open. “What are you waiting for, Mark? I know you have a key to Jackson’s place, I forgot mine. Open it.”

Mark did have a key and he procured it from his pocket. “I wasn’t sure if I was allowed in his place alone.” He said as he opened the door to let himself and Jaebum in. Mark tensed as the familiar scent of Jackson’s air freshener hit his nostrils but he shook his head, trying to focus. There was no time for personal feelings when Jaebum’s husband was supposedly in danger. “What happened, Jaebum?”

Jaebum clenched his fist and gritted his teeth, “Jinyoung went out today. The day was done and he hadn’t come back. I called the soldato I sent with him but the fucker didn’t answer. Then, I received a call from Jinyoung but it was all muffled and then I heard a scream.” Jaebum breathed in deep and exhaled. He started pacing the living room, “I immediately sent Jackson.”

Mark gave Jaebum a long and hard look. “You’re worried.”

“Of course, I’m worried.” Jaebum said, incredulous. “But I’m also so fucking pissed. I’m so close to snapping, Mark. So fucking close.”

Jaebum was dying with anxiousness. He should not have allowed Jinyoung to leave; he should have said no and ignored the man. He held all the power, after all. Hell, he was already being generous enough for letting him roam freely around his home, with access to his resources and with servants who would do what he asked in a second. Jinyoung was lucky Jaebum left him alone too. Jaebum cursed under his breath, maybe Jackson was right. Maybe he should have kept Jinyoung locked inside the house. That way, no one would see him – no one would make an attempt picking at Jaebum’s supposedly weak spot. They would go along like before when he was still unmarried; the famiglia would continue being untouchable.

Jaebum was snapped out of his musings when the door barged open with a frantic Jackson carrying a limp and bruised Jinyoung.

“Fucking shit!” Jaebum exclaimed and helped his brother lay Jinyoung on the couch.

Mark was already whipping out medical equipments and solutions. He said, “He’s in a bad shape, Jaebum.”

“No shit, Sherlock. I’m not blind.” Jaebum snapped.

“Hey, hey. No need to be angry at Mark. He’ll save Jinyoung, alright?” Jackson interfered and turned to Mark, “You can do that, right? You can save him?”

Mark glared at the brothers. “I’m a doctor and I’ll try my best. Just putting it out there that a hospital is a far better environment for him.”

Jaebum shook his head, “We can’t bring him to a hospital. Too much people, too much exposure. Can you do it here?”

“Yes.” Mark sighed. “It doesn’t look like he punctured his lung and there aren’t signs of hemorrhage or any internal bleeding so he’s not going to die as long as I prevent any infection. But I have to drug him, Jaebum. It’s going to be torture if I won’t. Do I have your permission?” Mark said as he started pulling out bottles and syringes.

“Okay, you’re the doctor. But not too much, okay? And only morphine. If you go injecting him with heroin, I swear to God, Mark.” Jaebum warned.

“I’m not stupid.” Mark snapped. “I won’t drug him that bad, I promise. We don’t need him getting addicted to it as a coping mechanism, anyways. Trust me, I _know_.”

“He didn’t mean in that way, Mark.” Jackson said. There was too much pain down that road and Jackson did not want to relieve it. He also knew Jaebum did not mean to land a blow that low. He cleared his throat and brought the topic back to what was important. “Jaebum, I rushed bringing Jinyoung here. I left _them_ there.”

There were no further explanations needed, Jaebum caught on what Jackson meant. “Them? As in plural? Fuck.”

“There were two and I shot them. I had a silencer so no one really heard but the bodies are bound to be found by someone. Should we go and clean it up?” Jackson asked.

Jaebum turned towards Mark who was injecting some type of fluid into his husband. “We’ll be quick but call me if anything happened.”

Mark gave a tiny nod and Jaebum headed towards the door with Jackson closely behind him. Those motherfuckers will rue they ever set foot into Jaebum’s land. Even if Jackson had killed them before him, Jaebum will make them regret their easy deaths.

 

 

 

“I’m sorry!” The man screamed. “Please, no more.” He sounded so agonised as he spluttered with his own blood. “Have mercy.”

Death would have been better but unfortunately, it did not claim him. Death was cruel enough to let him fall in the hands of Im Jaebum.

“Mercy, you say? Would you have given my husband any mercy?” Jaebum said, his voice even and calm which made it all the more sinister. He had not done something like this for a long while and there was no use in denying that he missed it. He missed torturing someone, “I am a very fair man. I only give what I receive. You shamed and hurt my husband, did you really think I am going to treat you with any mercy?”

Jaebum sliced off another finger – by now, only seven remained on the man. Jaebum blocked off the loud scream that echoed in the small room they were in. Blood squirted and stained the lapels of the suit Jaebum wore. He frowned, it was expensive. He shook his head at another suit ruined; he should really start making a habit of changing clothes before attending to matters like this.

Jaebum reached for the bottle of aqua regia, uncapped it and poured the liquid on the bleeding wound. The man screamed again as the acid sizzled and tore away at his flesh instantaneously. It was just bad luck that he did not die from Jackson’s bullet. He was probably facing the other way when Jackson shot because the bullet did not touch any internal organ. Instead, it was embedded in his spine, rendering him unable to walk. It was also bad luck that he was not able to crawl out of the alley before Jaebum and his brother arrived. The other guy with him was fortunate enough to die instantly with a bullet to the lung.

Jaebum hit the side of the man’s face with the butt of his gun to make him shut up. “Why the fuck are you so loud? You’re hurting my ears.”

The man sobbed, “Please, let me go. I won’t come near you and your area ever again.” The man gasped for air as Jaebum poured the acid up along his arm. “I have a family, a wife and kids. _Please_.”

Jaebum paused for a bit. He did not want to make someone orphaned or widowed. Jackson was an orphan and it was only luck that Jaebum’s father found him. He could not say that the same will happen to the man’s family. He shrugged nonetheless – death came easily to a mafioso, every made man should be prepared to die.

“Don’t worry, I won’t lay a finger on your family.” Jaebum said as he ran the knife across the man’s arm, tearing the acid-soft flesh open as easy as running a hot knife across butter. “What do you think about a necklace, huh? Do you think Yongguk will appreciate it if I sent him a necklace out of your fingers?”

The man was part of Bang Yongguk’s famiglia, Jaebum learned. He and the other guy he was with were sent out north, into Jaebum’s territory, to deliver documents to one of Yongguk’s client. It was only stupidity that they thought it was a good idea to hang around and assault Jinyoung. Such utterly, stupid, imbeciles.

“I mean, he must know that entering another famiglia’s territory without notice called for trouble already. But to have his men coming after the Don’s family?” Jaebum shook his head as he dug the knife deeper into the man’s arm. He dragged the blade all the way up to the chest and across it, only stopping when it hit the man’s sternum. “That’s just a recipe for war, don’t you think so?’

The man’s eyes widened in horror and Jaebum was impressed. Even with the pain of being slowly dismembered, the man still had enough brain in him to worry about his famiglia. “You’re insane! You’re going to declare war just because of a whore? You’re crazy-”

The man was interrupted mid-sentence as Jaebum clocked him with his gun again. The Don clicked his tongue, “First of all, do not address my husband as a whore. Haven’t you learned your lesson?” Jaebum upheaved the knife, traced it across the man’s chest downwards and then, he forcefully buried the blade into the man’s stomach. Jaebum frowned at the sudden screaming and spluttering – why was this man so noisy? “Secondly, no one calls me insane or crazy, unless you are my brother. Which, clearly, you aren’t.” When the knife was hilt-deep, Jaebum twisted it hard. The man wheezed and choked as he coughed up blood.

Jaebum contemplated on what to do next when the door to the room opened and revealed his brother. He gave a nod as a greeting.

Jackson whistled when he saw the man bathing in blood and gasping for his dear life, “Woah, looks like you enjoyed yourself playing.”

“Not so much fun when he kept on screaming like a pig. Thought I was going deaf.” Jaebum stood up and kicked at the knife, burying it deeper into the man’s gut before walking up to Jackson. “What do you think of delivering his head yo Yongguk?”

“I don’t think Yongguk would want his ugly head but if you think that’s a good idea, then go for it. I don’t want him to think he can get away with this.” Jackson shrugged as he observed the man going limp – probably succumbing to death. _Finally_. Jaebum was unstoppable when he was mad. It would just be more painful if the man continued struggling to live. Jackson felt a bit guilty, he should have aimed for the head. That way, the man would have died instantly. However, it was only a _bit_ for he was mad too. “What are you going to do about this, Jaebum?”

“Honestly? No fucking clue. I want to go up to Yongguk and tear his whole famiglia into dust. I’m just so angry, Jackson.” Jaebum kicked the wall. “But you know I don’t make the best decisions when I’m this furious. You’re the underboss, what do _you_ think we should do?”

“Hey, you’re the smarter one, remember? Besides, I’m pissed too so I won't stop you if you want to go and pummel those fuckers. How dare they touch one of us, I swear to God. They need to be put in place.” Jackson hissed. “Have you tried calling dad? Maybe he’ll help?”

Jaebum scoffed, “As if I haven’t tried that.” Jaebum mentally cursed his father. Seongwoo disappeared from the face of the earth with Hyejin in an excuse of a honeymoon. However, Jaebum could not blame them – they deserved their time alone after years of serving the mafia. But still, Jaebum needed advice.

“Mark said to let it go.” Jackson meekly stated. Jaebum scowled and opened his mouth to retort but Jackson cut him off immediately, “He said what if this has nothing to do with Yongguk? What if those guys were just really stupid? I mean, Yongguk isn’t _that_ much of an idiot to purposely do something like this.”

“Brother, Jinyoung aside, they entered and did business in our territory without word. That’s something against Commission agreement and I definitely can’t let it go that easily.” Jaebum said exasperated.

Jackson patted Jaebum on the back. “Well, I guess we can send them the fucker’s head as a message. Yongguk would not retaliate. It was their fault, after all.” Jackson stared at the dead man on the floor with disgust. “I say you cut the fucker’s dick too and stuff it in his mouth _then_ deliver it to Yongguk. Tie it with a ribbon or something.”

That was a brilliant idea, Jaebum thought.

 

\----------

 

Jinyoung felt numb. His whole body was lifeless and his brain felt like mush too. But it was not the ugly kind of mush like one got with a hangover. This was the pleasant kind – Jinyoung just felt sleepy and _high_ , as if he was all over the clouds.

Jinyoung opened his eyes and saw his bedroom ceiling – so he was at his room. But it was weird, he did not remember going to bed the night before. Jinyoung tried to recall the happenings but his brain was just too hazy and his eyes fluttered close again. Jinyoung contemplated if he should just go back to sleep. The soft mattress and the warm blanket over Jinyoung beckoned him back to dreamland. He wondered, _what time is it anyways?_

A soft rustling sound at the opposite end of the room brought him back to consciousness, however.

“Oh good, you’re awake.” A gentle voice said. “How are you feeling?”

Jinyoung turned his head towards the voice. “Sleepy.”

The man came closer and Jinyoung recognised him as the one who wed him to Jaebum. He was also there at their reception, at the basement. Jinyoung frowned at the memory.

“You think I should tone down the morphine? I was worried you’ll wake up in pain but I know Jaebum wouldn’t like seeing you this high. What do you think?”

Jinyoung wondered, what pain? Did something happen to him? And what does Jaebum care – he did not care about him at all. Jinyoung’s vision glassed over. He really should sleep – everything was getting hazy.

“Okay, I’ll reduce the drug. You’re so out of it. I thought being raised by a gangster would give you more tolerance to drugs but I guess you’re clean.” The man shrugged and went to fiddle with the IV drip attached to Jinyoung.

Jinyoung was confused. He was now just noticing the multiple bandages on his arms and his chest. There was also swollen veins all over his forearm – the one not inserted with the IV. _What the hell happened?_

“Do you remember anything?” The man continued, “I’m Mark, by the way, I don’t think we have been formally introduced.”

Jinyoung tried to sit up but a sudden sharp pain shot through his chest and he gasped. At least, the haziness was instantly gone from his head and Jinyoung sobered enough to actually take account what was happening.

“I wouldn’t sit up just yet if I were you. You have a fractured rib so you’re going to have difficulty breathing for some time but be thankful it didn’t pierce your lungs.” Mark explained then sat by the chair across Jinyoung.

“What happened?” Jinyoung croaked out. His throat hurt and was very dry. “Water. Can I have some water?”

Mark nodded and reached for the pitcher and glass by the table beside him. He poured water into the glass and handed it to Jinyoung. “ _You_ tell me what happened. You sent Jaebum into a murderous frenzy. I haven’t seen him be _that_ angry for a long while now.”

Jinyoung did not get what Mark was saying. He sent Jaebum to _what_?

“It’s a good thing one of your assailants survived. At least Jaebum had someone to vent his anger onto.” Mark shrugged.

_Assailants._ And as if a lightbulb fizzed and popped somewhere, the whole situation hit Jinyoung like a freight train. His memory suddenly became clear and it sent him into a panic. He gasped for air but oxygen would not enter his lungs – it just hurt, his chest hurt, his stomach hurt, _everything_ hurt.

“Breathe, Jinyoung. Breathe. You’re okay now, you can’t actually feel the pain. You’re on drugs, remember? You’re in your room, in Jaebum’s house.” Mark calmly and slowly stated, as if talking to a child. “You’re safe, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung felt his hands get clammy as he started sweating out. The room started turning and tilting – he closed his eyes to prevent himself from vomiting as he gripped on the glass of water in his hands. “They-” He sobbed, “They were going to _hurt_ me.” And like a dam opening, Jinyoung could not stop the tears once they started to flow out. He did not know who Mark was, he was not sure who he was to Jaebum and his famiglia, but he could not save himself from breaking down in front of the made man.

“They were going to but they didn’t. Nothing happened. Well, aside from you getting beaten black and blue, _nothing else_ happened.” Mark said, firm and with still calmness that said he was unaffected by Jinyoung’s panicked state. “Jaebum sent Jackson after you called him.”

Jinyoung remembered seeing Jackson’s face before he passed out. Unfortunately, he also remembered the weight of the two men as they slumped over him in death. Jinyoung clutched the glass he was holding even tighter.

“He killed them.” Jinyoung managed to utter despite the tears. He tried to breathe just as Mark said to regain control over his body.

“Wrong.” Mark pointed out, “Jackson killed one. Jaebum killed the other. And I bet you, he enjoyed playing with him first. It’s a good thing you only woke up now. Else, I don’t think you can handle seeing Jaebum in that state.”

“What do you mean?”

Mark smiled though Jinyoung did not see what was funny about the whole situation. “He’s mad.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes. Of course, Jaebum would be mad. He had stayed out late and had gotten himself assaulted. Jinyoung feared the possibility that Jaebum will come after him too. He feared that he would be at the brunt of Jaebum’s anger as well.

“Don’t worry, he’s not mad at you.” Mark shrugged. “He’s mad at himself for letting this mess happen. It’s good, though. That means he cares about you.” Mark stood up from his seat, “Anyways, I should go. I was only tasked to look after you since I’m the one playing doctor here. You’ll stay under morphine for a few more days so don’t worry about the physical pain. In the meantime, you should get a grip on yourself, don’t think too hard about what happened. Think about how lucky you are that Jackson got to you on time. Not everyone is as fortunate as you.”

Jinyoung almost had a panic attack again with the intensity of Mark’s gaze on him. Damn these made men and their ways of staring at him. It was very unnerving.

Mark went on, “I’ll tell the servants what meals you can eat. I’ll also tell Jaebum you’re finally awake.”

Mark headed for the door but before leaving Jinyoung alone with his thoughts and tears, the made man said, “Jaebum isn’t a bad man, okay? Trust him more, Jinyoung. He killed for you, after all.”

 

 

 

Jinyoung did not know how much time had passed already. Ever since Mark left his room, Jinyoung had only been drifting on and off consciousness. Hours could have passed or even days, Jinyoung could not tell.

Jinyoung had not seen anyone either; no one entered his room whenever he was awake. He just knew that a servant must be delivering him food since there was always a meal situated at his bedside table. However, Jinyoung had not gotten around to eating it for he had no appetite.

Jinyoung also noticed that he was no longer connected to the IV drip. Mark must have removed it while he was knocked out. And now, Jinyoung can feel just how sore his whole body was. His chest hurt with every inhale and his limbs felt like they were ran over by a truck. He briefly wondered if he could ask Mark for more pain medications.

Jinyoung had spent his few waking hours deep in thoughts. He really did not blame Jaebum. Truthfully, he was eager to see him. He wanted to thank his husband for sending Jackson to save him – he ought to thank Jackson too. Even with foul first impressions, Jackson still went and saved his life. Jinyoung knew it was all because of their duty to the famiglia; he knew that they did not actually care for his well-being. Nonetheless, they kept him from dying and _more._ For that, Jinyoung was grateful.

Jinyoung, after having multiple breakdowns, finally understood how serious everything was. He carried Jaebum’s name and for that, danger would always follow him. It was probably time for him to finally accept the mafia. Baby steps, he would try.

However, he was still afraid. And for a lot of things too. Jinyoung did not think he would want to go outside any time soon and he would probably forever refrain from being in the dark. Even now as he spent sleeping most of the time, he did not turn off the lights. He could not bring himself to be submerged into the darkness again. Jinyoung saw monsters and heard footsteps even as he so much as blink –  so really, how could he tolerate having the lights off? It was only thanks to the drugs in his system that he could sleep. And now that he was off the morphine, Jinyoung worried about the inevitable nightmares that would come.

Jinyoung also felt disgusted. However, unlike before when his disgust was directed at the mafia, Jinyoung was revolted at _himself_. He felt dirty; he felt like garbage. He knew nothing aside the beatings happened in that alley, Mark said so and Jinyoung believed him. But no matter how many times Jinyoung tried to convince himself, he still felt hands all over his body forcing him to submit – especially now that his head was clearer.

Fighting off the nausea, Jinyoung willed himself to get out of bed. It was probably not a good idea to be up and about if the pain that shot through him was any indication but he had to clean himself from the filth that he felt he was becoming.

He wobbled and almost fell on his face but he managed to get into his room’s attached bathroom without further injuries. He tore off his clothes and left them in a messy heap on the floor as he got under the shower. Jinyoung’s body ached and protested from all the movements but he gritted his teeth and powered through the pain. He had to do it – he was so repulsed at himself. He had to cleanse his body.

Jinyoung cranked the shower to the hottest level and commenced soaping at himself. He rubbed at every bit of skin he saw thoroughly but no matter how much the suds covered his flesh, Jinyoung still felt every bit of dirty. He started scrubbing harshly, fingernails raking and cutting his skin open. His flesh was getting exposed the more he clawed at it but the sting from the hot shower water and soap did not derail Jinyoung from scraping at himself. He continued and continued until blood trickled out from the newly formed wounds and streaked the tile flooring with bright red.

Jinyoung hissed from the pain but it was nothing compared to the utter repugnance he felt towards his body. He only had his dignity left – he could not allow _them_ to take that away from him.

Jinyoung lost track of how long he was under the spray of water. The stinging pain all over his skin was ebbing away to something more dull. He was starting to feel numb again. He thought maybe that was good. Maybe that meant he did not need to ask Mark for additional drugs anymore.

Jinyoung was so gone in his head that he was completely caught by surprise when the door to the shower stall slid open. He shrieked and covered himself with his arms.

“What are you doing?! Get out!” He threw whatever bathroom utilities his hand could reach towards the sudden intruder.

However, the trespasser yanked him out of the stall and threw him in a robe. “Fuck, Jinyoung. What did you do to yourself?”

Jinyoung fought to free himself and calmed his wildly beating heart while he backed away from his husband. “You-“ He started frantically as he scrambled to cover himself with the robe that was thrown at him, “What are you doing here?” Jinyoung cried – it was so damn hard to regain his breaths.

Jaebum sighed, clearly exasperated. “I was going to talk to you but you were in the shower. I left for a bit only to come back after an hour to see that you’re still in the goddamned shower.” Jaebum narrowed his eyes, “What did you do, Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung clutched the robes closer to him but he was sure it did not do anything to hide the bloodied marks on his skin. “It’s none of your business.”

“None of my business?” Jaebum said and shook his head in disbelief. “Look at you! You’re hurting yourself, Jinyoung. I’m not your enemy, for fuck’s sake. I’m your _husband_. You should start trusting me, goddammit!”

Jinyoung winced at Jaebum’s raised voice. But Mark’s words rang clear in his head. Should he really trust Jaebum? Open up to him? Jinyoung said he would start to accept the mafia. Maybe it was time for him to take those baby steps.

“Why? Why do you care?”

“I care because you’re my fucking husband, Jinyoung.” Jaebum said and it was strained – it was as if he was trying his best to be patient and restrain himself from lashing out. “And I know you hate me and this goddamned marriage but fuck, Jinyoung! You almost died and I’m not having it. There might be no love in this union be we got to start acknowledging each other. For your sake and for the famiglia’s” Jaebum took a deep breath and continued, “And you might think that I don’t give a rat’s ass about you but I do. I do care, Jinyoung. As much as you want to think that I’m the villain here, I don’t want innocent people like you dying in a crossfire. You are my responsibility now.”

Jinyoung gave Jaebum a solemn look. He contemplated what the Don said. So far, Jaebum had not really given Jinyoung any reasons to doubt his words. His husband had only ever said what he meant and he stuck to his words. Jaebum had not lied to Jinyoung in any way so maybe, it would be okay to trust him. Maybe that was what he should have done from the start.

“We started off at the wrong foot and it was partly my fault. Maybe I came off too strong but fuck, I’m not your enemy, Jinyoung.” Jaebum said and he looked sincere. Well, as sincere as he was intimidating. He reached out his hand, “Now, come here.”

Jinyoung hesitated. There was no going back if he let his guard down. There was no going back if he allowed Jaebum a space in his life. Jinyoung mentally scoffed at himself, was Jaebum not his entire life now? His very existence even depended on him. Was there even anything more left for him to lose? Maybe fighting off Jaebum would be futile. Maybe he really was not Jinyoung’s enemy, after all.

He took a tentative step towards his husband. Then another. And another. Jinyoung walked towards his husband and Jaebum welcomed him in his arms.

Jinyoung cried out in his husband’s chest – out of fear or relief, he was not sure.

He felt Jaebum wrapping the robes around him more securely as he whispered – or more like hissed, “This won’t happen again, I promise.”

Jinyoung _prayed_ it really would not. He did not think he could handle going through something like that again. He also prayed that he did the right decision – Jinyoung prayed that Jaebum would stay true to his words and protect him from now on.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was what Jaebum felt. He's just an angry, angry boy. I think it's better for you guys to keep in mind that Jaebum here has borderline anger management issues. He's aware and has come to terms with it. He is able to keep himself from lashing out and had learned to keep all those rage inside him - bottled up nice and securely. Well, Jackson is easy to rile up too. It's just how it is with the Im boys. 
> 
> and I may have dug a hole for myself with the Markson dynamics here. I couldn't stop myself from dangling their relationship in the middle of all this chaos. ugh. 
> 
> So this chapter is half-flash back, just on Jaebum's side of the coin. Also, there was a very big shift in the JJP relationship - of course, Jinyoung finally decided to idk, play along nicely. There wasn't much that happened this time but I hope you found that okay. I promise to put more shenanigans on the next one.
> 
> Thank you for reading!!! I hope you enjoyed it. :)  
> Drop in the comments what you think. :D  
> Here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/crudescere) if you want to see how much I scream for the boys and for teeny, tiny updates on my writing process. You can talk to me there or at [cc](https://curiouscat.me/crudescere)  
> 


	6. Chapter 6

VI

 

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito

(Yield not to misfortunes, but advance all the more boldly against them.)

\- The Aeneid, Book VI, Line 95, Virgil

 

 

Jinyoung awoke with a heavy and sluggish feeling. His head was thick with sleep and his limbs ached the way limbs ached when they were kept in a single position for a long time. He was comfortably tucked under the heavy duvet and as he turned to bury his head into the plush pillow, he yawned lazily. It was the deepest sleep Jinyoung had had since he started living under Jaebum’s roof. No dreams, no interruptions. He chalked it up to the exhaustion the previous day bore into him – he was so drained and weary when he sunk into bed the night before.

Jinyoung sighed loudly against his pillow. Remembering the occurrences, a new wave of fatigue washed over him. It was not that he was not fully rested because physically, he was. It was his mind, his heart, his _soul_ that felt bone deep tired. The emotional toll – Jinyoung could still feel the way he sagged and cried into Jaebum’s arms. It took a few minutes before he calmed down and Jaebum had to sit them both on the edge of Jinyoung’s bed as he bawled his eyes out while his heart bled. Jaebum had been patient and kept Jinyoung in his embrace for the whole duration of his emotional break down. His husband even tucked him into bed after. The whole situation was cathartic, as if a heavy blanket was lifted off his shoulders.

However now that a new day had dawned, Jinyoung was aware that he needed to face Jaebum again. He was not sure how they would go from here; he was not certain how he should approach his husband. Jinyoung turned again and laid on his back, staring at the the ceiling. He forgot to take the daily painkillers Mark prescribed him and his barely healed bones protested with pain at the simple movement. His stomach grumbled too.

When Jinyoung could no longer brush off his hunger to keep hiding in his room, he reluctantly padded down the hallway to the dining room. It was past ten in the morning and he guessed Jaebum had already left the house to do what he did – mafia business. So Jinyoung did not bother with changing out of his pyjamas; he would just probably go back to sleep after eating and maybe try to converse with his husband when the Don got back home later at night. Jinyoung would try to make small talk, maybe ask about how his day went or something about the weather, anything really. Baby steps, he reminded himself.

That was why Jinyoung was caught by surprise when upon entering the dining hall, Im Jaebum sat at the head of the long table in his impeccable suit, looking all poised and handsome while he read through his phone and sipped what looked like coffee from a mug. Jinyoung stopped in his tracks and was about to bolt back into his bedroom when his husband raised head and looked at him in the eyes square and flat. All without an ounce of awkwardness unlike Jinyoung who floundered for words to say.

“You’re up.” Jaebum said, voice clear and sure. He raised a brow at Jinyoung, “I see you’re still in your sleepwear.”

Jinyoung flushed and if he did not know any better, he would say that Jaebum sounded like he was _teasing_ him. He brushed off that idea instantly. It could not be. They might have made a truce but that did not mean they would suddenly be chummy towards each other. It was all sorts of weird. “Uh, y-yes.” Jinyoung stammered, still at the entryway. “I’ll probably go back to bed after eating so, yeah.”

Jaebum hummed, “Then why are you still standing there? It would not be an optimal place nor position to be eating. Come here.”

 _Come here_. Those words again – those two words were Jinyoung’s undoing last night. And now, it brought him uneasiness because was he really about to eat with Jaebum? It made him uncomfortable.

Nonetheless, Jinyoung walked towards the heavy oak table. He pulled out a chair two seats away from Jaebum and his husband called him out for it, “I said, come here. Why are you going to seat so far away? I’m not your enemy, remember?”

Jinyoung sighed. Surely, there was no harm in sitting close to Jaebum while they share breakfast together. Besides, the man would probably ignore him throughout the whole meal with how focused he was at his phone.

A servant rolled in a cart of delicious looking food and Jinyoung’s stomach grumbled loud enough to be heard by his husband. Jinyoung was swallowed by embarrassment as he heard Jaebum mutter a soft _huh_ under his breath.

No words were exchanged after that – they ate in silence with Jaebum’s phone occasionally beeping. However, unlike what Jinyoung thought, once the food was served and Jaebum began shoveling spoonfuls in his mouth, the Don completely neglected his phone and the beeping continued until it was full blown ringing.

“Uhm, aren’t you going to answer that?” Jinyoung asked. He knew that the famiglia came first always – so why was his husband not answering what could be emergency calls from his men?

Jaebum stopped midway from shoving another slab of meat into his mouth – and really, Jinyoung would have laughed at the picture if he was not nervous enough. Here, the Im famiglia’s Don sat in his pressed and crisp suit while he inhaled plate after plate as if he had not eaten for days. Jinyoung stored that piece of information at the back of his mind, maybe he could use it in the future.

Jaebum chewed for a second then swallowed. He grabbed his mug of coffee to down the food then turned to Jinyoung again. “That’s Jackson.” Jaebum simply said as if that was enough explanation as to why he abandoned his phone – then went back to his meal.

Jinyoung went back to his meal as well, shrugging – his husband did not seem interested in conversing. Maybe there was nothing to be said. Jinyoung felt ashamed that he had thought that maybe Jaebum stayed for breakfast to check on him. He shook his head at how silly he had been.

But then, Jaebum spoke. “Did you sleep well?”

Jinyoung almost choked on the egg he was taking a bite of as it slid down his throat when he gasped. Jaebum offered him a glass of water in an instant which Jinyoung thankfully accepted.

“You know, you should stop being so fidgety around me. I told you, I’m not your enemy. I won’t hurt you, Jinyoung.” Jaebum said. “It might be cute at some instances but I don’t want you afraid of me.”

Jinyoung gawked at Jaebum. What was Jaebum doing? Was Jaebum hinting that he found him _cute_? Jinyoung did not expect this at all. He expected serious discussions and grim exchanges but this – Jinyoung did not know how to make of this.

“What did you say?”

The Don took a sip of his coffee once again and squinted his eyes at Jinyoung, “Don’t pretend you do not know how attractive you are. Fishing for compliments-” Jaebum clicked his tongue, “Don’t try that again with me. It won’t work, that’s a very unpleasant attitude actually.”

Jinyoung’s jaw fell open at the accusation. _What in the world?_ “I’m not fishing for anything.” Jinyoung hissed because that was true. Jinyoung never thought of himself as particularly handsome. Sure, he did not think he was ugly but still – growing up, he had only heard Jintae say how much of an ugly disgrace he was. He did not have the opportunity to date around and meet new people with how tight of a leash Jintae had on him. So no one really told Jinyoung that he was _attractive_. Hearing that was a first. But hearing it from his husband, the Im Jaebum? It was ridiculous.

However, Jaebum looked at him like he was the one being ridiculous.

The weird tension – it was weird because it was not awkward or suffocating but it was definitely _something_ – shattered when a loud and booming voice snapped both of Jinyoung and Jaebum’s heads towards the dining room entryway.

“I swear to God, brother, you really ought to pay more attention to me-” Jackson said, walking into the room and trailed off when he saw Jinyoung. “Oh, you’re here.”

The way Jackson spoke, Jinyoung could guess that he did not want Jinyoung to be there. Jinyoung’s annoyance reared its head again but he clamped it down. He had a lot to be thankful for towards the famiglia’s underboss – Jackson had saved him, after all. He owed it to the man to be grateful and civil. Jinyoung greeted Jackson, “Good morning, Jackson-sshi.”

Jackson eyed Jinyoung solemnly and the way he was seated right beside Jaebum. A frown made its way in between Jackson’s brow as he said, “You’re still in your pyjamas.”

Jinyoung forgot that he, indeed, was still in said clothings and he could not help but feel self-conscious. It was one thing to be around Jaebum even if he was the Don – he was still Jinyoung’s husband and had seen Jinyoung in his most vulnerable states. It was another thing to appear _unprepared_ around Jackson, a proud and full-blooded mafioso. It made Jinyoung feel small, susceptible.

“Jinyoung can wear what he wants to wear in his house, brother.” Jaebum cut in and Jinyoung whipped his head towards his husband in surprise that Jaebum would step up for him. Jaebum continued, “Why are you here, again?”

Jackson plopped down on the seat on Jaebum’s other side, right across Jinyoung. He took a piece of bacon from the Don’s plate and chewed on it while saying, “When is dad coming back?”

Jaebum threw a nasty glare at his brother and flicked Jackson’s hand when it was about to steal another piece of bacon. “Get your own damn plate, don’t steal from mine.” He looked satisfied when Jackson huffed and leaned back in his chair, clearly sulking. “Yah, pouting will get you nowhere. Stop that, you look ugly. And why are you asking me about father? Go call him yourself.”

“But he blocked my number, remember? Said I was bothering him and mom too much.” Jackson whined, “You’re the favorite child, I’m sure he’ll answer.”

“I’m only the favorite child when you’re messing up.” Jaebum clicked his tongue. “They’ll be back next week so be patient. Christ, you sound like a toddler waiting for your dad to pick you up. Stop being embarrassing.”

Jinyoung was amazed yet again at how easy the brothers’ conversation went. He had deduced from the start that the two were really close but seeing them banter and throw light insults at each other – it was easy to forget that they were mafiosi.

“Why are you here, anyway? Don’t tell me you just dropped by to bother me. I swear to God, Jackson.” Jaebum scolded.

Jackson’s demeanor instantly shifted to something more dour and somber. He focused his gaze at Jinyoung. “I heard from Mark that Jinyoung’s up. I dropped by to see how true that was.”

“Jackson”, Jaebum warned. “Don’t start.”

“I come in peace, don’t worry. I am a man of honor, my brother. I won’t strike when the opponent is down.” Jackson said and it irked Jinyoung.

Jinyoung could not help but wonder – what did he do to earn this much disdain from Jackson?

Jaebum chided, annoyance lacing his tone. “Opponent? Where did that come from? Why are you being unreasonable, brother?”

“I’m not being unreasonable. I’m just being careful, you know.” Jackson side eyed Jinyoung, “He doesn’t want to be part of the family. And I know there is nothing we could do about that now but I swear to God, if he pull a stunt like that again, if he endangered himself again, I’m not gonna sit still and be quiet. He’s part of the famiglia whether he wants to be or not. _My_ famiglia.” Jackson stated with so much graveness that Jinyoung felt he really did the man wrong.

“Oh shut up, Jackson.” Jaebum said, exasperated. “Jinyoung did not want to be assaulted. He’s the victim here, do not blame him. Besides, we’re getting along better now. This is not going to happen again. _We_ won’t let this happen again.”

Jinyoung stared at Jaebum. The way Jaebum just defended him straight up from Jackson, it made Jinyoung feel something in his chest and he fought the urge to clutch at it. And stating that they were getting along better - well, Jinyoung thought that was a stretch. They were still awkward and distant. Acquaintances. That was more like what they were.

“I know. I’m just making it clear.” Jackson turned towards Jinyoung again, “ _You_. I hope this is a lesson enough. You’re now an Im, hell, you’re Jaebum’s husband. Act like it.”

Jinyoung’s first instinct was to snarl and bite back but he thought otherwise. Jaebum and he did make a truce and he doubted Jaebum would be pleased if he started throwing a hissy fit. What Jackson said were not lies either, they were Jinyoung’s reality. Baby steps, he reminded himself.

“I’m well aware of what happened, Jackson-sshi. And I can assure you that I will not be that reckless again. I know I carry the famiglia’s name as well so you don’t need to worry about that.” Jinyoung said while he stared at Jackson. He added, just to get under Jackson’s skin, “And you don’t need to worry about me fulfilling my role as Jaebum’s husband. I’m very well aware of what I should do.”

Jinyoung felt a sense of triumph when Jaebum spluttered while sipping his coffee beside him. His husband turned towards him with narrowed eyes to which Jinyoung just replied with an innocent smile.

Jackson whistled, “Scratch everything I’ve said. I think I like you, Jinyoung.” He clapped Jaebum at the back, “Just make sure you satisfy my brother well. Ooh, I know! Maybe he can use you to let out his anger. To blow off steam, or I guess you’ll be doing the honours of blowing off his steam.”

Jinyoung winced at the sexual jab. A week ago, he would have slapped Jackson across the cheek for suggesting such but he was slowly coming to the realisation that the man did not mean harm whenever he joked about sex. Im Jackson was just crude in his very nature.

“Thank you.” Jinyoung said instead which made the easy smile adorning Jackson’s face fade and be replaced by a look of shock. “Thank you for saving me.”

Jaebum and Jackson both stared at him wide eyed and Jinyoung thought that if this was how every mafioso would react to his wit – Jinyoung should have tried being amicable from the very beginning. Jinyoung decided, this was not so bad after all. No, not at all.

 

 

 

Jinyoung, as opposed to his plan of staying in his room for the whole day, decided to spend his time reading away in the library. He had changed into a more casual clothing but still comfortable. He was in no mood to wear stiff and tight garments while lounging in the library’s couch.

He gazed outside the window. The sun was up and bright, illuminating the lush garden and making it an emerald shade of green. He sighed – there would be no amount of sunshine that could entice him to go out of the house again. He was serious when he said that he had learned his lesson. By no means did he blame himself for what had happened but it was clear that danger only awaited him if he ever step foot outside Jaebum’s house again. There was still pain – physical and emotional. There was still horror and fear.

Jaebum and Jackson left after breakfast and Jinyoung was still put off by the whole encounter with the famiglia’s underboss. Jackson parted in a more friendly manner and he did not know what to make of it. It seemed that Jaebum’s brother was starting to get warmer with him. It was a good thing, of course, but the sudden mood swing – it gave Jinyoung a whiplash. It was unnerving how a single encounter could make the man change his mood and general behaviour towards someone. Jinyoung wondered if that was how Jackson, and maybe Jaebum as well, treat people in the business. It was a scary and frightening thought that made the brothers all the more deadly. It was like a single encounter could dictate whether they would let you live; or one wrong move and they could be pissed enough to kill. It sent shivers down Jinyoung’s spine.

Jinyoung was grateful for the silence that the library offered. He felt a hundred times better than how he had the past few days he was cooped up in his room. He closed his eyes and leaned back on the couch, he was starting to heal. Crying really did him good. It was almost ironic how he thought crying would make him look weak, would make him vulnerable but when he did – when he finally let out all that pain, it left him a clean slate, something that he could manipulate and mould to produce a stronger him. And Jaebum was there with him. Jinyoung would not admit it out loud but having his husband there to promise him safety, it relieved Jinyoung more than he would have wanted. Jaebum was strong, Jaebum was Don.

Jinyoung sighed. Maybe he had prejudiced Jaebum so much that he did not see how the man did not want to harm him. He thought about it a lot ever since he gained consciousness – Jaebum had not insinuate even a single, actual ill-treatment towards him. It was always the other mafioso, like Seongwoo and Jackson. But Jaebum had never. Jinyoung came upon the realisation that he was so mad at their marriage, he channeled all the loathing he felt towards the easy target. He blamed Jaebum for everything. He really did make Jaebum his enemy.

Jinyoung tried to think of how Jaebum must have felt. The man was used to control. He demanded respect. To have been blindsided like that, Jaebum must have been enraged. And Jinyoung did not allow himself to daydream that maybe it could have been more. That the reason why his husband went raging like a bull was because of something _more_. It was true that it was because of him but like Jackson said, it was only due to the fact that he was family. And family was a sacred thing to Cosa Nostra. So Jinyoung was, in all actuality, just a mere duty. They were in no situation to be falling in love. Heck, it was not the most optimal condition to develop feelings. They may be married but for the wrong reasons. Nonetheless, he could heed to his husband’s offer of friendship. Time would make a way – they could be friends at least, Jinyoung hoped.

Jinyoung spent the whole day between drifting in and out of sleep, reading and thinking. By the time the sun dipped low in the horizon, Jinyoung deemed that he had done enough lounging around. He stood up and exited the library. Walking through the massive halls, it occurred to him that he had not really seen the entirety of Jaebum’s mansion yet.

Standing at the massive staircase that separated the mansion from the west and right wings, Jinyoung opted to proceed towards the west where Jaebum’s office and tons of other rooms were situated. He walked past Jaebum’s office, having been there once – when he demanded rights to go outside. He continued and continued, the walls of the hallway were decorated with grandiose paintings and sculptures as well. He wondered just how much the house costed. It was so much lavishness that Jinyoung did not understand.

He happened to a room that looked like it was solely built for entertainment. There was a pool table on one side of the huge room then on the other side, there were all sorts of gaming devices. Jinyoung did not peg Jaebum to be someone who played games. The man probably used his laptop for illegal purposes like tracking and hacking. But this – the room was not short of technological advances that looked like gaming consoles. Jinyoung shook his head and got out of the room. He had no business there.

Jinyoung continued searching up the house. A massive door appeared at the end of the hall, it looked very similar to the heavy oak the library had. It was situated similarly too – at the very end of the walkway.

Jinyoung opened it and was floored to see a music room. Just like the library, it was enormous and every bit impressive. And at the center of the room, there was a beautiful white grand piano. Jinyoung walked towards it and sat at the plush leather of the piano bench. He ran a finger across the cool keys and closed his eyes. It was his dream as a child to learn how to play the piano. He absolutely loved the melody the large instrument produced but Jintae never allowed him for it. The reason, he never knew. Jinyoung supposed that his father was against it just because he _wanted_ it. Jintae was horrible like that – he hated everything that Jinyoung loved.

Jinyoung mused, however. The piano cover was up and it seemed that the whole instrument was well taken care of. There was no dust or dirt. It also looked very used – like it was not there just for decoration in attempt to boast power and elegance. He wondered if Jaebum played it. Did his husband know how? Did his husband create beautiful music? The sudden notion that maybe Jaebum did spend some time making music, it surprised Jinyoung again. How could a ruthless and brutal and cruel man like Im Jaebum be capable for conjuring melodies that might heal the soul – because that was how Jinyoung associated music. It was meant for the soul.

Jinyoung realised that there were so much shades to his husband that he did not know, that he did not even expect. Who was the man he married? Who was the real Im Jaebum?

 

 

 

Another week had passed and Jinyoung already got used to sharing breakfast with Jaebum. It seemed that his husband liked having it late so Jinyoung did not have to put in effort of waking up early just to dine with Jaebum. Or maybe, Jaebum himself had a habit of waking up late as well. The morning meal was not so awkward as it had been for the first few days. Jinyoung could literally stroll up in robes and Jaebum would not make a different expression. His husband always looked pissed and angry – or in better days, he would look menacing and threatening. Not that Jinyoung would actually leave his room in only a robe, he still relied heavily on his clothes to keep him covered. Memories from that horrible night were still vivid when it crossed his mind. But it had gotten better, it did not bring him to tears now. He could handle his emotions much better now. Also, his injuries had healed – well, those that were visible. His ribs were still in the process of healing but it was bearable, not so painful at all any more, even with no analgesics.

They also got more comfortable with each other that Jinyoung did not flinch or jerk anymore whenever his husband spoke to him.

“Jinyoung,” Jaebum said putting a whole slice of toasted bread in his mouth. Jinyoung swore, Jaebum was always so hungry.

“Hmm,” Jinyoung replied, cutting up a good portion of frittata.

“How are your injuries?”

Jinyoung froze midway. It was the first time Jaebum had addressed his well-being. They usually have random conversations about the weather or current events for breakfast. But Jaebum always stayed away from the topic of his recovery, entrusting everything to Mark. His husband must be on to something. “I think they’re all healed. Mark said that my ribs haven’t fully solidified yet but they’re going there.”

Jaebum let out a _hmm_ then wiped his mouth with the table napkin. He stared at Jinyoung afterwards, “I think you’ve rested long enough. It’s time you learn how to defend yourself.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

Jaebum‘s serious gaze bore into Jinyoung, “You’ll still have bodyguards around when you decide to go out. And yes, I’m not prohibiting you to leave the house. You’re still your own person. So if you really wanted to go out, you _can_.” Jaebum continued, “But it’s only going to happen if Bambam or Yugyeom can accompany you. _And_ after you learn how to shoot.”

Jinyoung was appreciative that Jaebum was not thinking of imprisoning him at home. However, the thought of leaving the house – it still washed Jinyoung with anxiety. At least, he would be with either Bambam or Yugyeom. Those two kids, they had visited him often enough for the past week to have earned his trust. He knew that albeit their youth and crackhead personalities, Jaebum trusted them too. But learning how to shoot? Was he ready for that? Jinyoung would not deny that the idea of handling a weapon like that made him feel powerful but it was still a murder weapon – it was still used for the purpose of stealing lives.

“Shoot as in firing a gun?”

Jaebum looked at him like he just cracked a bad joke, “I always assumed you were smart, Jinyoung. Yes, shoot as in fire a gun.”

Jinyoung scowled. Most of the time, he could brush off Jaebum’s attitude but this time, it was getting under his skin. Jaebum was just irritating most of the time.

“Why if I don’t want to?” Jinyoung asked, heatedly.

Jaebum frowned, “Then I can’t allow you to leave the house.”

Jinyoung took a sharp intake of breath. “You mean you would imprison me?” Granted, Jinyoung understood what Jaebum’s concern was. He also did not want to leave the house any time soon but Jaebum’s attitude was getting to him.

Jaebum sighed and leaned back on his chair. “You know you’re being unreasonable. I know you understand the gravity of the situation. I didn’t marry an idiot, Jinyoung.”

“Did you just imply that I’m being stupid right now?” Jinyoung placed his utensils down and pushed his plate away from him. He was done with breakfast, appetite totally gone. “Well, I’m sorry if I’m stupid unlike you, almighty Don. Clearly, you know best, your highness.”

“Finish your food, Jinyoung.” Jaebum snapped. “And don’t give me that attitude. You’re being disrespectful again.” Jaebum narrowed his eyes at Jinyoung.

Jinyoung was aware that he was being childish but only because Jaebum kept on egging him. He bit back the string of curses that tried to escape his lips and tried to calm himself.

“Alright. I’ll learn how to use a gun. But who’s going to teach me?”

Jaebum smirked, “Of course, you’ll learn from the best. Me.”

 

 

 

Jinyoung stared at the variety of guns laid before him with slacked jaw. Jaebum brought him down towards the basement. It looked similar to the Im manor’s but unlike the subtle hints of illegal, probably Seongwoo’s attempt to make it inconspicuous for Hyejin, Jaebum’s basement proudly displayed its illegality.

There was a wall riddled with rifles in display and then some more on the desk in front of it. There were so much firearms that it could probably arm a small army unit. It was also very illegal – if the police saw this, Jaebum would surely be convicted.

“You’ll start with something easy, don’t worry.” Jaebum said as he opened a glass case of more guns. “9mm Luger. This is what I recommend. Semi-automatic and not much recoil. It won’t hurt you when you fire. Now, what colour do you want?”

Jaebum beckoned Jinyoung closer to choose between a full black pistol and a silver coloured one. Jinyoung gulped, “Silver, I guess.”

Jaebum removed the pistol and handed it to Jinyoung who received it with so much care. “Don’t worry, it’s not loaded but first rule in handling a gun: treat every gun like it’s loaded.”

Jinyoung blinked and nodded. He turned the gun over his palm with amazement. He had only seen his father use it and loathed him for it. A gun took away lives by just a pull of a trigger – not much thought was given when a gun took someone’s life. But now as he held one in his hands, he vowed that he would only use it in the most desperate of situations and only as self defense.

Jaebum gave him a lengthy lecture on the parts of the gun and basic rules on how to use it. Jinyoung paid focused attention because he did not want to wield such a weapon with carelessness.

He learned how to load and unload bullets. He learned how to stack and unstack the magazines. He learned how to grip properly, how to angle his wrist just the right way.

“Let’s have a test.” Jaebum said and gestured for Jinyoung to follow him.

Jinyoung was nervous as he walked behind Jaebum. Learning how to fire a gun was a whole lot different from actually firing it. They ended up outside the house at Jaebum’s absurd backyard which was more of a miniature forest than a yard.

Jaebum pointed at a tree not far from them, “There. Shoot that tree.”

Jinyoung hesitated. He could not believe he was out under the bright Seoul sun with a gun in hand. “Don’t you have anywhere you need to be?” Jinyoung stalled.

Jaebum shook his head. “I’m the Don, I own my time. And stop stalling, go fire. Be careful of the recoil, though. It might not feel like you have a canon in your hands but still, unpreparedness could damage your wrist.”

Jinyoung steeled and composed himself. He let Jaebum’s words run through his head: first, treat a gun as if it’s loaded; second, only point a gun on something you want to destroy. Well, the first rule was done – he had loaded the pistol with a single bullet. Jaebum would not let him put more than one to avoid unnecessary damage if he gets surprised and suddenly pulled the trigger. The second however, Jinyoung did not really want to destroy the tree in front of him. It was innocent. But Jaebum clicked his tongue loudly in impatience and that was Jinyoung’s signal to get his ass moving.

So Jinyoung positioned himself – he raised both of his arms and held the gun with two hands; he widened his stance, shoulder width apart. He aimed at the center of the tree trunk then moved a finger towards the trigger. He blurred out his surroundings and only focused on the tree. Jinyoung took a deep breath then he pulled the trigger.

A loud bang emanated from the gun and Jinyoung winced from it, along with taking a couple of steps back as the gun recoiled. He almost fell back on his butt. Jaebum must have lied when he said that the gun did not recoil as much as others because heck, he almost broke his wrist.

A series of birds flew away from the tree Jinyoung shot at. He looked at his husband – who only shook his head in disapprovement.

“You didn’t hit the trunk, Jinyoung. Or were you aiming at the leaves?”

Jinyoung glared, “I’m sorry that the gun felt like it would have more fun breaking my wrist.”

Jaebum only shook his head. “You were just not prepared enough for it.” He clicked his tongue and strode towards Jinyoung.

Jaebum positioned himself behind Jinyoung. He was near enough that Jinyoung actually held his breath. His husband had not been this close to him ever since their marriage night where he thought Jaebum was going to force him into consummation. Jaebum stood behind Jinyoung with the former’s chest pressed onto his back. Jaebum took Jinyoung’s arms and raised it up along with the gun. With their position, Jaebum was enveloped inside Jaebum’s arms – caged close enough that he could hear Jaebum’s steady heartbeat if he focused. Jinyoung almost shivered when Jaebum spoke low and close to his ears. Almost.

“Here, you should hold the Luger like this.”

Jaebum guided Jinyoung into loading another bullet, entangling their hands in the process. Jinyoung was definitely having a difficult time breathing and that was because Jaebum was stealing his oxygen supply. Of course, it could not have been from anything else. Jaebum was just that – a big bad oxygen thief, Jinyoung’s brain helped.

“It actually doesn’t recoil that much but I guess that since you’re a beginner, it can’t be helped.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes from the low and husky pitch of Jaebum’s voice. They were practically leaning into each other that that was inevitable but goddamnit, why did Jaebum have to whisper into his ear?

Jaebum guided Jinyoung’s left hand under the right for support. “What are you doing with your eyes closed, Jinyoung? You can’t hope to hit any target while doing that.”

Jinyoung went crimson for being caught. “Sorry, I was just getting the feel of it.”

“Whatever, but eyes up. Look into your target and plant your foot on the ground as you pull the trigger. You’ve shot once now so you already know how it feels.” Jaebum said and urged Jinyoung, “Go on, take a shot. And this time, make sure it hits the trunk and not the poor birds on the branches.”

Jinyoung steeled himself. Jaebum was still pressed close to him, arms still all around him, hands still laying gently on his own. Jinyoung redirected his senses on what he was supposed to do. Enjoying someone’s warmth would not help him stay alive if he ever fall into a life or death situation again. However, a gun and a sure target will. So Jinyoung blurred out Jaebum and concentrated on hitting the center of the tree.

His index finger moved in towards the trigger and with baited breath, he pulled.

The gun recoiled back but it was not as painful as the previous one – turned out, he was really holding the gun wrong before. But the impact, it still sent Jinyoung taking a couple of steps back and as he did it this time, Jaebum’s strong and solid chest did not allow him for it.

“Easy there, you have to work on your footing more. But other than that, I think you have an innate talent for firing guns. You have a sharp eye.” Jaebum said, disentangling himself from Jinyoung. “Bambam took a whole week to hit a tree. He’s very unpredictable with a gun.”

Jinyoung stared at the tree trunk and just as Jaebum said, there right in the middle was the shining butt of his bullet. He really did hit the tree in its center. Jinyoung could not help the sense of accomplishment that blossomed in his chest. He beamed at the tree then he beamed at Jaebum which could have been a big mistake because Jinyoung himself was not prepared for it.

Jaebum stared at him for a few seconds in obvious surprise. It was written all over his handsome face that he did not expect Jinyoung to just suddenly be all smiley at him.

Jinyoung willed the ground to split open and swallow him whole. Can he be anymore embarrassing?

“U-uh, uhm.” Jinyoung stammered. “I hit the tree?”

Jaebum shook his head – Jinyoung hoped it was because of exasperation and not from judgment – and rolled his eyes. “Yes, Jinyoung. You hit the tree like how someone would if a tree was their target.”

“Hey! Don’t make fun of me.” Jinyoung defended himself. Well, he brought it upon himself but he would be damned if he just took the mockery without any fight.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to shout at me? You really don’t learn, do you?” Jaebum sighed as if just talking to Jinyoung was draining him of his energy. “Now, continue practicing.”

“But I already hit the tree.” Jinyoung almost whined – almost because he did not whine, of course.

“You can’t be serious. You think you’re done with just firing two bullets?” Jaebum pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, Jinyoung. I’d bet the famiglia that you’re still as vulnerable as you were an hour ago. Now go and continue firing.”

Jaebum turned around and made the gesture of going back inside the house. That sent panic up Jinyoung’s spine. “Where are you going?” Jinyoung blurted out in haste.

Jaebum raised a brow, “To my office. I still have to do my job even if I’m home, husband.”

Jinyoung knew they were still inside Jaebum’s territory. Hell, the whole stretch of land which was acres and acres was Jaebum’s and he was sure that every bit of the place was guarded. Jinyoung knew he was safe but he did not feel like it – not without Jaebum around. The rows of trees could have easily been harboring a spy, for all they know – which was actually impossible but Jinyoung’s brain refused to be logical at the moment. His brain was conjuring up every conspiracy idea that involved an enemy out to get him. At least with his husband’s presence, his brain was rendered silent and speechless. So he preferred having Jaebum around just to not be left alone in their backyard. Again, he was sure that guards were hiding in sight, manning the place but his mind refused to believe it.

“Can you not go inside?”

Jaebum cocked a head at Jinyoung’s statement. “Did you just ask me to abandon my duty as Don? What did I tell you, rule number one-”

“I know, the famiglia always comes first but I did not mean it that way.” Jinyoung cut in.

“Then what do you mean? You can practice on your own, Jinyoung. There are servants around if you need anything.”

This time, Jinyoung was the one who shook his head. “No, I meant if you could stay here?” Then he followed up with a soft voice, “With me? I mean, you can bring your work here. Just stay?”

Jaebum stared at him in that intense way that always made Jinyoung feel as if he was naked and laid neatly in a slide under a microscope. It felt like Jaebum was examining him – like his husband was trying to see _through_ him.

A few seconds passed with Jaebum not saying anything that the atmosphere turned painfully awkward. Jinyoung was about to give up. Surely, he could brave Jaebum’s backyard alone for a few hours? He could just scream if something bad happened, right? Right?

But then, Jaebum spoke. “Okay.” Then he went to the side and sat on the grass. “I was just going to make some calls. I can do that anywhere, anyway.”

Jinyoung, for the nth time that day, felt his jaw go slack. Did his husband, Im Jaebum, the Im famiglia’s Don, just sit on the dirt with his legs crossed under him, all while wearing a neatly pressed suit? And because he had asked him to stay? In what alternate universe was Jinyoung living in? Maybe he was tripping. Right, that must be it. Perhaps the drugs Mark injected into his system were making him experience some weird late onset delusions. He must be having withdrawals. That must be it. That was the only explanation that made sense.

Jaebum pulled out his phone and was about to make a call when he caught Jinyoung staring. “What? I’m staying so get on with the shooting.” Jaebum nudged his head forwards as if asking what Jinyoung was waiting for.

“O-okay.” Jinyoung stammered and went back to face the poor tree.

He was definitely having withdrawals.

Jinyoung did _not_ just see Jaebum smirking at him.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was kinda late this time huh?  
> The holidays kept me glued to my family and I didn't have much time to write - especially when my nights were filled with endless fangirling over GOT7. :))) But I managed to squeeze out this chapter, so I consider this a great achievement hohoho
> 
> And yeah, more JJP development because duh, they've been very generous to us these past days. I'm still weeping over them.  
> Everything's looking up for our favorite duo! Let's see how they'll progress from here on, huh
> 
> Thank you for reading!!!  
> Comment down what you think, yeah? I'd love to know your insights and opinions.  
> Or talk to me at [twitter](https://twitter.com/crudescere) or [cc](https://curiouscat.me/crudescere)  
> And it might be late but Happy Holidays, everyone!!! Advanced Happy New Year!!!


	7. Chapter 7

VII

 

Id quod aiunt, auribus teneo lupum

(I hold a wolf by the ears)

\- Phormio, 506, Terentius

 

 

Jinyoung welcomed the new day with sore muscles and creaking bones. He could not even lift a finger without his whole body screaming at him to stop. He laid completely still as he stared at his now very familiar ceiling. Weeks ago, he had lain in the same bed and stared at the same ceiling in pain. However, the pain he felt at the moment was definitely not the same kind. No, the soreness in his body – it was all because of Jaebum.

Jinyoung inwardly cursed at his husband. After the shooting lessons, Jaebum forced him to learn self defense – as in martial arts. Or something like that. Jinyoung was sure that what he did yesterday was a myriad of martial art tricks cramped into one. It did not even help a little bit that Jaebum, yet again, designated himself as Jinyoung’s mentor.

Jaebum did not show him any ounce of mercy. His husband kept on landing blows and kicks all over him – he was continuously being thrown to the ground whenever Jaebum got a hold of any of his body parts. It was ridiculous. Jinyoung tried to reason with his husband to take it easier, to go lighter on him but Jaebum only said, “I _am_ going easy on you. You think you’d still be able to stand if I was being serious?”

Jinyoung shook his head and tried getting out of bed. Maybe a hot bath would relax his muscles. He had been training hard for the past two weeks but his muscles were still not used to the way Jaebum forced them to stretch and overwork. But Jinyoung knew that this was all for him so it made him reluctant to actually complain. Besides, he liked the feeling of being a bad ass too – even if he constantly got slammed to the ground.

He could now fire his gun – yes, _his_ because Jaebum had given it to him – without stumbling to the ground or risking his wrist for potential damage. It was sort of true, what Jaebum had said about him having a sharp eye and a perfect aim – Jinyoung revelled at his newly discovered talent. His husband did offer him other guns, even proposed a gun shopping session, but Jinyoung was satisfied with his Luger. He was not interested in the power or superiority that came with wielding a gun anyway – it was all for self defense. Also, he might have gotten attached to the silver semi automatic; they had both undergone the same Spartan training by the hands of Jaebum after all.

Jinyoung had now also learned the fundamentals of kicking someone’s ass. Well, that may be a stretch considering that it was always him who ended up beaten but it was an achievement nonetheless. He now knew how to angle his punches just right to deliver a deadly uppercut, just where to kick to immediately dislocate the knee, and how to cut off someone’s circulation with just an elbow. Really, Jinyoung thought he could never be violent – and he still was not – but he had learned enough to be.

Jinyoung stepped into his bathroom and filled the tub with hot water. He decided to not go through with anything Jaebum had planned for the day. He deserved rest.

 

 

When Jinyoung finally stepped out of his bedroom, he found out that there was no need for him to avoid Jaebum’s training because the said man was not around. He had asked the servant who served breakfast about his husband’s whereabouts and the young man explained that the Don was out for business. _Huh._ Jinyoung was mildly off putted by the fact that Jaebum just left him without notice. Well, he was still not interested in the family business – and that was what Jaebum was probably out doing – but Jinyoung had thought they were close enough to be somewhat _friends_. Closer than acquaintances, that was how Jinyoung felt. Surely, it would not have hurt Jaebum if he told Jinyoung the night before that they would not have time to train today or he could have left a simple note. Anything just to inform Jinyoung that he would have to spend the day alone.

Jinyoung sighed and started digging into his breakfast. During the past week, Jaebum had stayed home and did all mafia related business in his office. Jaebum was still the tight-lipped and intimidating man that Jinyoung married on the first day that they met. He was still every bit of cold and intense. But he had also spent time with Jinyoung albeit it was filled with trainings. It had gotten easier for Jinyoung to let his guard down – and he did most of the time. He had begun to relax around Jaebum’s presence. Or maybe relax was not the right word; it was more like he had gotten used to his husband’s attitude. He had built tolerance – to the point that every encounter did not suffocate him anymore; to the point where he secretly started to look forward to their sparring sessions; to the point that maybe Jinyoung thought that his husband stayed at home for _him._

What silly thoughts. Jinyoung guessed that he must be really lonely to seek companionship from Jaebum. He reckoned that he needed to see other people before he truly became insane. But Jinyoung still was not ready to leave the house and finding people to befriend – just where would someone go for that?

Jinyoung sighed again as he stared at all the foods laid before him. He had gotten used to sharing breakfast with Jaebum even if his husband did not talk that much. It was the presence of someone else that made Jinyoung feel that he was not truly alone. And now he felt like it. Alone. He would not admit it, even to himself, that he missed Jaebum. Even if just a little.

He finished his breakfast quicker than the usual. But as he did, Jinyoung found that he did not have anything to do at all. For the whole day. His first thought was to go to the library – after all, that was his sanctuary. However, he was not in the mood to read. He had gotten used to the noise that was either guns firing or bodies slamming to the ground that spending time all alone in his big haven – it was a drastic change of pace and Jinyoung was not feeling it. His next thought was to go back to his bedroom but it posed the same scenario with the library. He would be stuck there doing nothing.

Just as he was about to give up, he remembered the entertainment room in the mansion. Surely, there would be something there that could distract him. Also, it could give him insights on Jaebum’s other persona depending on what he would actually find there. So Jinyoung made his way to the other wing of the mansion in a mission to find something fun enough to waste his time.

Jinyoung took his time walking, not in any hurry. He wondered what kind of video games Jaebum had. Jinyoung was not fond of playing games per se so he just hoped that there would be something there that could interest him. Or movies. _Yes, movies would be good_ , Jinyoung thought.

However, when Jinyoung was about to open the door to the entertainment room – he heard soft music that perked his attention. He wondered where it came from. The music was gentle and melodious – it was very soothing. Jinyoung, totally forgetting his pursuit of games, followed the direction of the sound. He immediately remembered that the music room was situated at the end of the hall. That must be where it came from. The music sounded like it came from the piano too. But the question in Jinyoung’s mind rang loud in his ears – who was playing it? Could it be Jaebum?

Jinyoung opened the door in a big whoosh which was not the best idea at all. Jinyoung berated himself for being so stupid as the music abruptly halted and the man sitting on the piano bench whipped his head towards the door – gun immediately pulled and directed towards Jinyoung.

_Oh_. It was not Jaebum and Jinyoung quickly dismissed the way his heart sank a little. He really needed friends or else, he would start being dependent on Jaebum – the only person he got to see on the daily. He found it absolutely ridiculous as well – the fact that a gun was pointed at him but all he felt was mild longing for his husband.

The man sported a surprised and hostile expression. Well, it was valid after Jinyoung interrupted his piano playing so rudely. But to Jinyoung’s defense, it was his house too and it did not sit well with him that random people could just enter and play instruments that belonged to his home. That would just be _weird_. The man, however, looked familiar to Jinyoung. He wore a simple suit and wielded a gun which indicated he was mafioso. _Of course._ The man had been the one who told Jaebum of the commotion that happened in Seongwoo’s basement at their marriage reception – the commotion that led to Jaebum shooting the lights off of someone. The man was Youngjae.

Jinyoung held his hands up in defense as he stood awkwardly by the door. He was unsure on what to say so he settled with, “Uhm, hello?”

Youngjae, expression finally easing into a friendlier one as he tuck his gun back into the inside pocket of his coat, heaved a sigh. “You surprised me there. That’s a bad habit especially around made men. You might get hurt.”

It just dawned on Jinyoung that what he did could have gotten him killed. Granted, it was his home but it was never a good thing to surprise made men like that. However, Jinyoung would not apologise because he was not technically in the wrong. It was this mafioso – who trespassed into his house and played the piano without his knowledge – who was wrong.

“Don’t worry, Jaebum hyung sent me. He knows I’m here.” Youngjae smiled and it was such a stark contrast to the man who pointed a gun at Jinyoung a few seconds ago.

“What?” Jinyoung replied, confused as to why his husband would do such a thing.

“Hyung said to watch over you. Today’s the Commission meeting and he can’t skip that so he sent me here.” Youngjae explained, staying in his seat in front of the piano, and ran a hand over the keys. “The servants said that you were still asleep so I went here to kill the time. Jaebum hyung gave me permission to use his piano, don’t worry. And I’m sorry for pointing a gun at you, I didn’t mean it.”

Jinyoung felt that the man was genuine. He did not give off the same eerie vibe that Jaebum and Jackson gave which oftentimes sent him into a panic. He felt calm enough that he entered the room and went near the man.

“Youngjae-ssi, right?” Jinyoung started and continued when the man nodded, smile bright and blinding. Jinyoung surmised that no one could mistake Youngjae as made because he literally looked innocent and harmless. “I don’t know why Jaebum would ask you to baby sit me. I mean, I’m all healed. There’s nothing to worry about unless he wanted you to sit in for my trainings.” Jinyoung ended suspiciously.

Youngjae cocked his head to the side but did not say anything and Jinyoung worried that maybe that was indeed the reason. “Don’t tell me that he did send you to train me. Oh god, I wouldn’t even if you forced me. I’m so _sore._ Surely, a day off would not hurt?”

Youngjae burst out into a loud and unadulterated laughter. And in all of Jinyoung’s years alive, it was the first time that he saw someone be happy like that. It was surreal that a made man was laughing unabashedly at something Jinyoung said which was not funny at all.

“Training? I’m the worst at physical activities, Jinyoung-ssi. I’m only good with my brain. If Jaebum hyung wanted you to train, he would have sent Yugyeom or Bambam.” Youngjae giggled. “He’s just worried you would feel sad being left all alone.”

Jinyoung was left speechless at that. Did he hear it right? Jaebum was worried that he would feel sad – just how well did his husband know him? And here he was, not knowing a damn thing about Jaebum. He found the situation unfair and at his disadvantage. Perhaps Jaebum kept a silent but trained eye at him – studied him in a manner that unraveled his thoughts and actions. Jinyoung cursed at himself for not thinking of doing that towards his husband in the first place. If he had, maybe he could have deciphered what his husband thought. Or at least have an inkling on what was going on in that thick skull of Im Jaebum. Jinyoung made a mental note to commence watching Jaebum more closely the moment he got back home.

Jinyoung refocused his bearings on the mafioso in front of him, “So you can play the piano? It was beautiful.” If Jinyoung wanted to make some acquaintances, he needed to be sociable. And Youngjae did not seem like a bad candidate for a friend – he actually looked like someone who Jinyoung could enjoy being friends with as he did not exude a murderous aura like the rest of the made men he had had the misfortune of meeting.

“Oh, thank you, Jinyoung-ssi. Jaebum hyung taught me how to.” Youngjae beamed proudly. “He’s always been a very kind hyung to me.” He continued with a fond look in his eyes as if he remembered something from a long time ago.

That piqued Jinyoung’s interest. Finally, an opportunity to dig and learn more about Jaebum. “Just Jinyoung. Call me Jinyoung or whatever you’re comfortable with. I don’t like the formality.” He smiled, “Jaebum taught you? So he could play the piano, huh?”

“Yes, he can!” Youngjae said as his smile grew wider than what was Jinyoung thought humanly possible. Seriously, Youngjae can not be _that_ fond of Jaebum, Jinyoung thought. “His playing is just marvellous, Jinyoung-ssi. I meant, hyung – Jinyoung hyung.” Youngjae looked down on the piano keys, “Jaebum hyung’s music is just like him. Intense. But beautiful – he’s otherworldly.”

Jinyoung wondered if they were talking about the same Jaebum. Youngjae appeared as if he idolised his husband – and Jinyoung did not pay further attention to the made man’s reddening cheeks. It was not in his business to feel jealous over someone blushing at the thought of his husband.

“That’s interesting, Youngjae-ssi. I never knew Jaebum could play an instrument at all. All he did was teach me how to land a strong punch and how to perfect my aim with a gun.” Jinyoung rolled his eyes. It was unfair how he was stuck with a stoic Jaebum when Youngjae got to see a friendlier version. “I don’t know, he seemed not the type who’ll spend time making music.”

Youngjae vehemently shook his head, “Call me Youngjae, hyung. I feel like we’re friends now.” Jinyoung nodded and he continued, “Jaebum hyung might appear scary but he isn’t. Well, he is at times. But I mean, he is a good person. And I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him.”

“What do you mean?” Jinyoung started, “Actually, you don’t look like a mafioso. No offence but you just don’t look like-“

“Like I’d be down to chop someone’s head off?” Youngjae cut in. “Yeah, I wasn’t born in a mafia family like Jaebum hyung and Jackson hyung or like Bambam. Jaebum hyung saved me when my parents were killed by the Bangs when they couldn’t pay the debt they owed them. Jaebum hyung was just passing by when he saw me hiding behind the garbage disposal. I was just thirteen, he was fifteen.”

Jinyoung was surprised at the revelation, “So Jaebum took you and made you part of the famiglia? Just like that?”

Youngjae shook his head, “No, he was just visiting the countryside with Jackson hyung. No one had seen me flee the scene and they could have left me after that but I begged them to take me.” Youngjae’s eyes hardened, the light from his orbs dulled. “When I learned that they’re from the Im famiglia, I begged them to take me in. I didn’t even know that they were the previous Don’s children. I just wanted them to bring me in the famiglia.”

Jinyoung was appalled – why would Youngjae want that? And at such a young age? If it were Jinyoung in that circumstance, he would never agree to join the mafia even if Jaebum forced him to. “Why would you do that, Youngjae? You could have escaped. You could have started a new life.”

“Out where? In that small town? With no one who would be willing to take me in and risk the anger of the Bangs?” Youngjae scoffed and said, “I’ve never made a better decision.”

“But surely, anything is better than being deep into this syndicate business. I mean, your parents died because of them in the first place.” Jinyoung adamantly reasoned. He could not believe that such a bright person as Youngjae would think that way. There must be something to the story that he was not telling. “Jaebum did not threaten you, did he?”

“Of course, not!” Youngjae exclaimed. “Hyung wouldn’t do something like that. I told you, he’s a good person. He brought me to his father and persuaded the previous Don that I’ll be an asset in the future. Jaebum hyung was the reason why I got to stay.”

Jinyoung found it hard to accept Youngjae’s reality. Youngjae was a normal person. He was clean – far from being associated with the mob. Hell, he was not even a son of a gang member like Jinyoung. He had the freedom Jinyoung could only dream of and he just wasted it without a second thought. It was blasphemous to a sense. Now, it definitely made Jinyoung jealous.

However, Jinyoung swallowed it down like a bitter pill. It would not help anyone if he acted out just because fate dealt better cards to Youngjae. It was not also his business how Youngjae thought and made decisions. They were clearly two different persons.

“I know you didn’t want to be here, hyung.” Youngjae started gently. His voice was back to being friendly and gentle. “But I can see that you don’t hate it now as much as you did the first time we met.”

Jinyoung stared at Youngjae’s smiling face. It was true what the made man said. It suddenly dawned on him that he, in fact, did not hate Jaebum like how he did before. It got Jinyoung off balanced – like a rug was pulled underneath him. It shook him deep into his core that the man he swore to loathe and never accept had become the opposite of his claims. Jinyoung could not believe that his morals were easily swayed and replaced. It felt like a slap across his cheek.

“I can see from your expression that you don’t like it?” Youngjae sighed, “We’re not all bad, hyung.”

Jinyoung gaped like a fish. He opened and closed his mouth trying to formulate words. But he could not find anything to say. What kind of reply could he even give Youngjae? That no, they were horrible for making an empire out of blood. That no, they were brutal for killing people without mercy. That no, they were evil for living a life of crime and being proud of it. He could not possibly utter those words when just moments ago, he longed for companionship with them. He had slipped and disregarded the fact that he ought to hate them. Jinyoung felt every bit of a hypocrite.

Youngjae smiled again. “You know what, let’s change the topic. What do you suggest we do for the day, hyung?”

Jinyoung snapped awake from his internal crisis and shook his head. He would deal with himself later. “You’re too kind for your own good, Youngjae. How are you even a mafioso?”

Youngjae chuckled. “I told you, I work using my brain. I’m a capo but unlike Bambam and Yugyeom who liked being on the streets themselves, I manage my men from behind the scenes.” Youngjae stood up from the piano bench and started closing the piano cover. “But enough about the famiglia. Let’s do something more fun?”

Jinyoung finally smiled a genuine smile. He could feel Youngjae’s attempt to cheer his mood. The situation was all sorts of unbelievable to Jinyoung – to have a made man sensitive to his feelings and to receive comforting gestures from the said man. “How about we watch a movie? That was my original plan before I hear music playing from here.”

“That’s a brilliant idea! Jaebum hyung has an immaculate theatre room that Jackson hyung forced him to install. It’s amazing, let’s go!”

Youngjae led the way and Jinyoung followed with thoughts storming in his brain. Jinyoung hoped that spending time with Youngjae would make them go away. He wanted rest for goodness’ sake.

 

 

Jinyoung stared at his mirror and at the reflection that looked back at him. The vision in front of him was decked in a hundred dollar suit – the most expensive clothing Jinyoung had the privilege of wearing in his entire life – courtesy of Jaebum. He did not understand why he had to dress this lavish when all they were going to do was attend mass.

Seongwoo and Hyejin were finally back in town and Jinyoung learned that it was strict tradition within the Ims that during Sundays, the family gathered and attended mass at the church they gave the biggest donation. Jinyoung guessed that even the church had its hand deep into the mafia if they willingly received donations – Jinyoung scoffed; it was most likely bribery – from Jaebum’s family on a regular basis. That just proved how twisted and filthy the whole societal system was. The church goers must have been unaware that they gave praise and prayed to the Lord alongside murderers. It was matters like this that made Jinyoung hate the underground world. Innocent people were never safe, they would always be in the hands of made men whether they know it or not.

Jinyoung sighed. He did not want to leave the house, still wary of the dangers awaiting outside, but Jaebum insisted on it. His husband was adamant that they needed to show up or Hyejin would give them hell for it since they had already skipped the Sunday before. Jinyoung had an inkling that Hyejin was actually the one who held all the power in the family if Jaebum and Seongwoo’s fear of her was any indication. Jinyoung comforted himself in the thought that at least Jaebum would be there with him. And Youngjae too.

Youngjae and he had gotten pretty comfortable with each other and he could not wait to see the made man – even if it was at church while they all pretend that nothing was wrong with the whole family sitting there and offering prayers like innocents. It was making Jinyoung’s head hurt.

Knocks rapped at his door and Jinyoung opened it to the face of his husband. Jaebum wore a suit that looked like it costed someone’s car. It was totally unnecessary. The church should not allow grandiose displays like this but Jinyoung was also now aware that they ran from Seongwoo’s pockets. It was such a sad, sad world they lived in. Who knew one could buy religion?

“Are you done? It’s time we leave.” Jaebum said while giving Jinyoung’s appearance an approving look.

“Do we really have to go? How are you even religious?” Jinyoung asked but got out of his room nonetheless, closing the door behind him before following Jaebum down the hallway.

Jaebum shook his head, “It’s not a matter of being religious. The family needs to show a strong face or else people would talk. Besides, we already skipped last Sunday. We can’t do that again.”

“But what if I don’t want to go out?” Jinyoung countered.

Jaebum stopped in his tracks and Jinyoung almost bumped into him. Jaebum turned his head to look at Jinyoung square in the eye, “I’m not asking.” Then the Don resumed striding towards the porch where a shiny Escalade waited for them.

Jinyoung stuck his tongue out and glared at his husband’s back. Jaebum was such an asshole and Jinyoung would not tolerate more of his assholery without retaliating. So in a whim, Jinyoung shouted, “Oh! I forgot something!” Then he quickly ran back to his room and blocked off Jaebum who shouted curses at him that they would be late. He did not really have anything he had forgotten – he just wanted to piss Jaebum off.

They came in late for the mass and Jinyoung tucked it inside his box of little victories.

 

 

The mass droned on for an hour and Jinyoung had tried his hardest not to grimace everytime any of the made men sang the prayers. This was not a mass for the Lord – it was clearly a social event to showcase the famiglia’s strength. Jaebum had told him – more like scolded – on their ride that attending the mass was Jinyoung’s official debut to the public. The people who were not part of the famiglia but _knew_ of it would finally have the opportunity to see his face. Associates, that was what Jaebum referred to them. Jinyoung did not like the idea of more people knowing who he was. Being married to Jaebum had already gotten him into trouble and Jinyoung would not have a repeat of that.

Jaebum and his family – Seongwoo, Hyejin, Jackson then Jaebum and he – all sat at the very first pew. And even when Jinyoung and Jaebum had arrived late, his husband confidently strode towards the very front. It was as if the seat was reserved for them – and Jinyoung thought that maybe it was. He would not be surprised if even no one from the family showed up, people would still not dare and seat on the first row. That part of the church oozed power and importance which Jinyoung found insane because it was the fucking church. The only powerful and important person in it should be the priest who was their medium to the Lord. It was definitely insane.

And as if staking claim to the very first pew was not enough, there would be no mistaking the Im’s power by their mere appearance. Realisation on why his husband gave him an expensive suit to wear dawned on Jinyoung. All the men were equally dressed impeccably and Hyejin – Jinyoung took a glance at Jaebum’s mom and gushed quietly. Hyejin had always been a beautiful and strong woman to Jinyoung but looking at her dress and jewelries, the woman was nothing short of alluring. It was not even in a sexual way; Hyejin lured everyone to pay attention to her – she commanded the room while just standing quietly. Jinyoung shook his head, _what power_.

When the mass had ended, Jaebum and his family remained seated as Jinyoung watched the churchgoers pile out of the building. A few lingered and paid them greetings of respect. Jinyoung wondered what they were waiting for. However, before he could ask his husband the question, Hyejin broke the silence.

“I know you haven’t had your confession for quite some time now, Jaebum. Go on, Father Kim is waiting for you.”

Jaebum frowned, “How do you even know that, mother?”

“I know everything even if you boys try to keep me in the dark. Besides, I’ve just made another donation to the orphanage this parish was looking over. Father Kim has been a great source of information lately, you know.” Hyejin threw a pointed look at Jackson, “You too, Jackson. And don’t say another word about how scary Father Kim is.”

“But mom, he _is_ scary.” Jackson said. “But if Jaebum would go before me, then maybe he’ll tire from my brother’s endless tales of sin.”

Jaebum was on his way to land Jackson a punch on the shoulder when Hyejin interrupted, “Don’t start a fight, Jaebum. We’re in the Lord’s house. Behave yourself, be an example to your husband.” Hyejin then directed her attention to Jinyoung. “And you, my dear. I know you’re Catholic too or else I would have objected with your marriage to my son. So I suggest you confess as well. Father Kim will guide you.”

Jinyoung stared wide eyed at Jaebum’s mom. He did not expect, even in the slightest, that he would be threatened to do a confession. And by a mafioso wife? Along with her mafioso sons?

Jaebum sighed in defeat and stood. He beckoned Jinyoung to go with him, “Come here, Jinyoung. Let’s get this over with.”

Jinyoung absentmindedly stood – still reeling from the absurdity of the situation – and followed Jaebum to the very back of the church hall. Jackson merilly stood as well and inserted himself in between Jaebum and Jinyoung, slinging an arm on both of their shoulders. Even after Jackson had expressed less doubt and antagonism towards him, he and Jinyoung still had not bonded well enough for Jackson to act and be as close as he was. But Jinyoung presumed that it was just Jackson’s nature: to be carefree and every bit happy-go-lucky.

Jinyoung vaguely heard Hyejin say, “We’ll be waiting for you in the car. I’ll just make a couple more donations to the parish under your father’s name. God knows he’s being stingy with his money lately. The poor kids in Africa, we need to help them.”

 

 

They all ended up at the Im’s manor. Jinyoung learned that not only they spend Sunday mornings at church, they also had the ritual of eating lunch and playing into the afternoon at Seongwoo and Hyejin’s home. Jinyoung was a little bit upset that no one had told him of the weekly gatherings. Not that he was looking forward to it – it was just upsetting that he got left out.

Jinyoung had seen Youngjae and even Mark, Bambam and Yugyeom at the church but they were seated spread across at the back of the hall. And just when the mass had ended, they quickly went on their way too after greeting them. So Jinyoung was very pleased when he saw them at the Im’s manor.

Jinyoung automatically walked towards Youngjae who was watching Bambam and Yugyeom brawl on the manor’s garden outside. He was surprised, however, when Jaebum caught his wrist to stop him as his husband said, “We’re going inside.”

Jinyoung gestured towards the made men laughing out loud, “I’ll just go to Youngjae.” It was not a question for permission. Jinyoung was not going to allow Jaebum to drag him wherever he went just because they were in front of his family.

However, it seemed that Jaebum had the habit of catching Jinyoung off guard because what he said, Jinyoung did not expect at all. “It’s safe here but are you sure? I mean, I trust them well enough-” Jaebum nodded towards Youngjae’s direction. “But are _you_ going to be alright on your own? Because I can’t stay with you. I have to help Seongwoo with something.”

Jinyoung blinked his eyes, not believing that Jaebum was worried about him. He had not said a single word to anyone about his fear – that had simmered down to anxiousness – about going outside to anyone. He kept it secret for he feared that it would only make him more vulnerable. But it appeared that Jaebum had known for quite some time already and he had not said a word to Jinyoung about it. Once again, it proved that Jaebum knew what he felt. It was unnerving, it was unsettling – Jinyoung felt things he should not feel.

He gulped before giving Jaebum a soft, “I’m gonna be okay. I promise.”

“If you say so. Don’t stay out too long, lunch is going to be served soon.” Jaebum gave him a hard look before he turned on his heel and followed his family inside.

Jinyoung stood still for a moment. He had not expected that from Jaebum at all and once more, it made him feel off balanced – the world around him not making any sense.

Jinyoung was still wondering what just happened when he heard his name being called in chants of _Jinyoung hyung._ He cleared his mind – perhaps his husband was just making a good front for his family. Yeah, that should be it.

Jinyoung walked towards the group – towards Bambam screaming his name like crazy. He smiled at Youngjae when he was near enough, “Hi, Youngjae.”

Youngjae greeted him back with a thousand-watt smile, “Hi, Jinyoung hyung!”

Bambam gawked and whined in unfairness, “When did this happen? Why are you being chummy with Jinyoung hyung?” He glared and hissed at Youngjae. “You snake, you stole Jinyoung from me!”

“You’re so dramatic, Bam. I’m not stealing anyone.” Youngjae snickered.

Jinyoung watched as the two bantered about rules like _first come, first serve_ which was completely nonsensical since Jinyoung was a human who was not for keeping. Although, it amused him – he guessed that the sensation he was feeling towards the two might be the same if he had little brothers. It felt so much like he was overseeing his siblings fight – which was unsettling because why was he considering them as family?

Yugyeom went to his side. “So I guess you’re all okay now?”

Jinyoung turned towards the made man. Yugyeom gave the same feeling as Jaebum, albeit toned down – Jaebum was still top of the Most Intimidating Men in Jinyoung’s list. He had seen Yugyeom banter over petty stuff with Bambam and engage into nonsensical matters with the latter as well. But whenever Yugyeom addressed him, it was always reserved and careful.

“Yeah, I’m all healed now.” Jinyoung simply said.

“That’s good to hear.” Yugyeom said with the softest voice and gave the tiniest of smile. And Jinyoung felt so fond of the made man in that instant.

He immediately clamped the growing affection blossoming in his chest down. This was getting worse – Jinyoung was starting to feel all brotherly towards the three men.

 

 

It was lunch time and they all sat around the table with Seongwoo at the head, Hyejin to his right and Jaebum to his left. Jinyoung sat on Jaebum’s other side and right across him was Jackson. Youngjae was seated beside Jinyoung. Mark was on Youngjae’s other side while Bambam seated on Jackson’s right and beside him, Yugyeom.

As he looked around, Jinyoung could not help but wonder how these men were associated with Jaebum’s family. He knew that Youngjae was practically adopted into the family and from the made man’s stories, it seemed that Jaebum favoured him a lot. Mark was their consigliere, a high and important position in the mafia but other than business, Jinyoung was not sure about his relationship towards the Ims. Bambam and Yugyeom – Jinyoung did not know how they were connected to Jaebum at all. He just saw them as two crazy kids doing all sorts of weird stuff and bickering with each other like they were born to do it. But they must be important since they sat along with them in lunch, in Seongwoo and Hyejin’s home.

The brief silence that settled over them was broken as Hyejin spoke, “Shall we say grace?”

Everyone at the table bowed their heads and Hyejin started saying thanks. Again, this show of religiousness – Jinyoung found it weird and very out of place. Nonetheless, he followed suit.

After the quick prayer, everyone at the table started digging in on the abundant feast laid out in front of them. And Jinyoung said feast because it was – Jinyoung wondered if this was the reason why Jaebum ate like a starving man. Perhaps he was just raised with too much food.

Hyejin’s voice rang through the room as he asked Jinyoung, “I suppose you haven’t been introduced to the others properly? Or did Jaebum actually do his job?”

“Mother, it’s not my job to let Jinyoung mingle with idiots. God knows how they’ll influence him.” Jaebum quipped that surprised Jinyoung – Jaebum was teasing everyone even though he still wore a somber expression. But there was the faintest shadow of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips and Jinyoung was struck with something that made his heartbeat quicken. Curiosity. Jinyoung named that _something_ as curiosity.

“Hey! What idiots? Did you mean me?” Bambam protested.

“Yeah, who else was Jaebum referring to if not your dumb ass?” Jackson chided while stuffing his mouth full with meat.

“Who else, of course, you. You’re pretty stupid yourself, Jackson hyung.” Bambam replied and ducked away when a grape was thrown at him.

“Boys, behave.” Hyejin scolded. “What have I told you about quarrelling in front of food?”

“I’m sorry, mom.” Jackson said just as Bambam apologised with, “I’m sorry, zia.”

_Zia_. Jinyoung was smart and he knew what that meant. It was the Italian word for aunt. He should not have been surprised that a Cosa Nostra family such as them would use Italian terminologies to refer within family since it was also a way to acknowledge someone’s authority. This was the mafia after all. But Jinyoung was still caught off guard – however, it might have been due to the fact that Bambam was Hyejin’s nephew. Did that mean that he was Jackson and Jaebum’s cousin?

“Auntie?” Jinyoung asked.

Hyejin frowned and clicked her tongue. “I guess Jaebum really didn’t give you the lesson on the family.” Jaebum had the gall to look innocent all while shoving a spoonful of rice into his mouth.

“Yeah, my mother was zia Hyejin’s sister. She went to Thailand for business and met my father there while at it. That explains my exotic-ness.” Bambam explained nonchalantly.

“So are you just visiting Korea then?” Jinyoung asked because why would Bambam stay in Korea when his family was all the way in Thailand.

“Nah, they’re dead.” Bambam shrugged and Jinyoung’s eyes widened in horror. “Don’t worry, it’s been a long time. I don’t cry about it anymore. They died when a cartel retaliated. My brother runs the operation there now and I-” Bambam slung an arm around Jackson’s, “I get to spend my days around my favourite hyung.”

“Yah! Get away from me. You’re annoying. Favourite, my ass.” Jackson shrugged Bambam’s arm and gave the latter a nasty glare which was just received with peals laughter.

“Really, hyung. Don’t worry about it. I’m not the only orphan here.” Bambam continued.

Seongwoo, who had not said anything as much as Jinyoung was concerned, spoke. “I don’t think that’s a proper thing to say in front of the food. And to Jinyoung too. He’s new to the family.”

There was something really scary about Im Seongwoo that Jinyoung wanted to hide under the table. It must be those eyes – the same pair of eyes his husband had but etched with years of murder and crimes. Criminal eyes.

Jinyoung managed to say, “It’s okay. I don’t mind as long as they’re comfortable sharing.”

“Trust me, I’ve tried my best to keep them at bay. They’re a handful and they don’t ever stop talking. I’m sure they’re more than comfortable, Jinyoung.” Jaebum said to him and the whole table erupted with a chorus of complaints.

“So that’s why you kept on preventing me from visiting your house. I’m hurt, Jaebum. Why would you do that?” Jackson said, clutching at his chest in a grand gesture of being _hurt_.

Jinyoung tried to keep the conversation going. It was interesting to learn who these men were. “So are Mark-ssi and Yugyeom cousins with you as well?”

Bambam and Yugyeom simultaneously exclaimed, “Hell, no!”

To which Youngjae followed with, “Yeah, that’s gonna be incest. That’s gross.”

Yugyeom spluttered on his drink and Bambam threw a grape at Youngjae.

After Yugyeom prevented himself from dying, he wheezed and said in a hoarse voice, “My father was the previous consigliere.”

That shed light to Yugyeom’s character but it still did not explain why he was invited to lunch – and to Jaebum’s house. God knows how many times he had come to Jaebum’s home with Bambam in tow during Jinyoung’s recovery period.

As if reading Jinyoung’s thought, Jaebum interjected. “No matter how much they try to appear like they hate each other, he’s actually Bambam’s boyfriend.”

Jinyoung almost dropped the utensils he was holding. He stared – more like gawked – at the two made men. “What?”

“Yeah, I question myself everyday too.” Bambam sighed in defeat.

Yugyeom bumped Bambam’s shoulder with his, “Oh shut up.”

Jinyoung was still processing the fact that the two were boyfriends. It was just unbelievable – or maybe not. Now that he was aware of their relationship, Jinyoung could see underneath their pretend hostility the familiarity and affinity they have to each other. Their looks and touches lingered a few more seconds than what was considered platonic. And even when they quarrel, Jinyoung realised that he had not seen them truly ablaze with anger. He was coming to the horrifying realisation that perhaps the fights were a prelude to something – a foreplay of some sort.

He decided to change the direction of their conversation. “What about Mark-ssi?”

“I’m the consigliere.” Mark answered in a brief manner. “And if you’re wondering why I’m here, it’s because I’ve known them since forever.”

Jackson said, “Yeah, you can also say he’s my-”

“Best friend.” Mark cut him off quickly. “You can say I’m Jackson and Jaebum’s best friend.”

There was a blanket of tension that enveloped them suddenly as Mark and Jackson bore down each other with intense stares. The moment was very raw that Jinyoung averted his gaze – he felt like he was intruding something very private.

However, it seemed that Yugyeom thought differently as he commented, “I don’t think best friends fuck each other though.”

Bambam immediately clamped Yugyeom’s mouth shut. Jackson took a sharp intake of breath. Mark glared at Yugyeom and if looks could kill, Yugyeom would have been in the ditch already with how anger was rolling off of Mark. Even Youngjae stilled.

Before anyone could spring into action and do harm to someone, Hyejin spoke – and it sounded like she was not pleased. “Not that kind of language in my home, Kim Yugyeom. Now, apologise. It’s not your business whatever Jackson and Mark is to each other.”

Yugyeom had the sense of shame and bowed his head as he apologised, “I’m sorry, hyungs. I stepped over the line. I’m so sorry.”

Jinyoung let out the breath he did not know he was holding. _Wow_.

The suddenly, he heard Jaebum whisper to him – which totally shocked him and sent him into a choking mess. “Their relationship is very complicated. Even I don’t understand it and they claim they’re my best friends.”

Jinyoung, after recovering from his spluttering moment, glared at Jaebum. “Don’t just do that suddenly. You could have killed me.”

Jaebum responded with a raised brow as if he found Jinyoung funny. Well, too bad – almost dying from a piece of carrot stuck in his throat was not funny. Jinyoung was not impressed.

“Oh look at them! They’re so cute whispering to each other like that. I can’t believe I’d see the day when Jaebum hyung would be so whipped.” Bambam excitedly remarked.

That made a commotion around the table – the grim atmosphere finally dissipating – as Jackson and Youngjae pitched in on teasing Jaebum and Jinyoung. Just as Jinyoung thought that he would find an ally within Youngjae, the made man betrayed him just like that.

Even Hyejin and Seongwoo threw a few quips that made Jinyoung blush bright crimson to the tips of his ears.

Jinyoung was right after all – the Ims were horrible people.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> So this chapter was late. My bad.  
> I just want you guys to know that 2019 is gonna be such a busy year for me. It's actually going to make or break me so I ask your patience guys to understand if chapters don't come as quickly as they used to be.  
> But enough about me.
> 
> More about Jinyoung and Jaebum! And I guess the whole gang too. :D  
> How did you find this chapter? Drop down below what you think, my friends.  
> Or ask me at [cc](https://curiouscat.me/crudescere)  
> Or if you're interested to hear me scream over the boys you can talk to me at [twitter](https://twitter.com/crudescere) too.  
> Thank you!!!


	8. Chapter 8

VIII

 

Militat omnis amans

(Every lover is a soldier. Love is a warfare.)

\- Amorum, Line 1.9.1, Ovid

 

 

Over the days that passed, Jinyoung learned a lot about Jaebum. Well, _a lot_ might be an exaggeration but Jinyoung felt so accomplished and proud of himself. He had sneakily investigated and questioned several people about his husband’s true nature. The answers Jinyoung got varied greatly depending on who he had asked. The servants all said that Jaebum was a distant and quiet master, which was true if Jinyoung were to be asked, but they said that even if he was stoic, the Don never overworked or treated them badly.

When Jinyoung asked Bambam and Yugyeom, they gave him funny looks before answering that Jaebum was the most amazing person they had encountered so far – and they had met a lot of people in the business. The made men emphasised on Jaebum’s skills on the battlefield, his talent on striking business deals, and his ability to lead such an empire. It seemed that both Bambam and Yugyeom only had good words for Jinyoung’s husband. Jinyoung had also tried to squeeze out more information from Youngjae and all he got was more praise and appreciation. Jinyoung thought – what was with these kids and their worship of his husband?

Jinyoung had a difficult time approaching Jackson. He did not know where he stood with the family’s underboss – were they friends? Relatives? Acquaintances? He was still wary of Jaebum’s brother because he knew that underneath all of Jackson’s smiles and laughter, a cunning and dangerous predator lurked. Of course, that was to be expected from an Im. So Jinyoung had resulted to asking Mark instead. The famiglia’s consigliere was more amicable in a sense that Jinyoung can actually speak to him without stuttering. Mark gave him a hard time though, answering his questions with questions. It had been a very tiring process to fish out information from Mark. Jinyoung had a suspicion that Mark knew what he was doing and purposefully directed the conversation in circles. He had to give it to the consigliere – he was a very smart man. However, Jinyoung had his own share of brain abilities and he managed to get some answers that were not as biased as the younger made men gave him.

Jinyoung had put together the pieces and he came up with some pretty interesting discoveries about Jaebum.

Firstly, Jaebum was left-handed. That surprised Jinyoung but then again, he had not actually seen Jaebum write. He just assumed that his husband was right-handed because, well, he had always used his right hand to hold his spoon. But Mark had also said that aside from eating, Jaebum taught himself to do other stuff with his right hand too – so he punches, shoots a gun and throws a knife more accurately with his right hand. Jinyoung made a mental note to observe Jaebum’s handedness more.

Secondly, Jaebum liked sweets which again surprised Jinyoung because how could a man as intimidating and sour as Jaebum like desserts? His husband’s attitude was seriously atrocious at times that Jinyoung could not imagine him eating sweets. At all. However, the chefs insisted that Jaebum specifically told them to serve fruits at every meal and have chocolates in store just in case he craved for some. The chefs also showed Jinyoung the fridge where they kept cakes and ice creams for the Don. Jinyoung almost fainted at the thought of Jaebum eating an ice cream while wearing a pissed off expression. It was all sorts of weird.

Thirdly, Jinyoung discovered that Jaebum had a pet lion which he named Nora. Bambam told him that Jaebum found the lion being smuggled while injured when they did business in Thailand. The poor animal was shoved in a cramped crate along with their cocaine shipments from Columbia – and with just one look, it had caught Jaebum’s heart. Bambam rehashed the whole commotion that broke out when Jaebum took Nora right then and there. She was to be delivered to an underground circus where the entertainment scene was about animals fighting in an arena. Jaebum brandished a gun and shot everyone that got in his way, Bambam had said. Jinyoung doubted that it was that dramatic. Surely, Jaebum would not kill everyone just because they objected giving him the lion. It was absurd. And the fact that Jaebum actually won and now owned a lion as pet – fucking ridiculous. Bambam also told Jinyoung that Nora was kept at the Im’s private animal sanctuary – Jaebum apparently refused to call it a zoo – where Bambam’s leopards, Youngjae’s wolf and Jaebum’s other lions were all kept. It was unbelievable.

Jinyoung closed his eyes and leaned back into the couch. He was once again in the library but instead of reading books, he was listing all his new conclusions about his husband on a notebook. As interesting as the information he got, like how Jaebum hated wearing white socks according to their laundress, it made everything more complex. It made understanding Jaebum more difficult. It seemed that the more he learned about his husband, the more Jinyoung realised how difficult it was to know the man.

He heard the door to the library open and assumed it was Bambam and Yugyeom or Youngjae. But when no loud noises and sweet greetings followed the closing of the door, Jinyoung opened his eyes to look at the intruder. He frowned when he saw Jaebum and immediately closed the notebook that was lying on his lap.

“What are you doing here?” Jinyoung asked. Jaebum had never visited him in the library. Mostly, his husband just commanded a servant to call him to the Don’s office whenever he needed to say something.

Jaebum eyed the notebook that was in Jinyoung’s tight grip. “I know you’re snooping around and asking questions about me. It’s annoying. Please stop it.” Jaebum said.

Jinyoung blushed crimson at being caught. Well, what could he have done? It was not as if he could just walk up to Jaebum and ask questions about his personal life. They were not _that_ friendly. “Who told you?” Jinyoung narrowed his eyes.

“Did you really think no one would report to me?” Jaebum leaned on the massive oak table in front of the couch. “It was Mark, by the way. He was amused at your efforts.” Jinyoung should have known that the consigliere would do him dirty. He was Jaebum’s best friend after all. “As I am. You could have asked me directly, Jinyoung. Another thing you should learn – do not trust what everyone says. They could be lying.”

“Well, would you have answered if I had asked you? Honestly, I mean.” Jinyoung challenged. Of course, he would not allow himself to be the only one eaten by embarrassment.

However, Jaebum seemed unphased by the challenge and just raised a brow, “Have I ever lied to you? I don’t think I have but if I did, please refresh my memory.”

Jinyoung did not like how smug Jaebum sounded but it was true. It was like Jaebum’s number one virtue which was quite impossible since the mafia revolved around treachery and lies. Somehow, Jaebum managed to make it work and it got under Jinyoung’s skin. “Whatever. Did you just come here to mock me?”

“I am not mocking you. Why are you always so defensive?” Jaebum sighed. “I’m here to clarify the things you’ve gathered about me.”

“You mean you’re actually going to answer personal questions?” Jinyoung inquired in disbelief.

“That’s what I said. Can you please stop your habit of repeating everything I say? It’s getting annoying.” Jaebum said and walked towards Jinyoung. He sat on the other end of the couch. “I’m your husband therefore you are free to get to know me. I got a full background report on you. That means I know almost everything about you down to your shoe size. I guess it’s only fair you learn things about me too.”

“You what? That’s illegal!” Jinyoung exclaimed. It was a breach of privacy and Jinyoung was aghast.

Jaebum threw him a pointed look, “And what would you do? Report me to the police? Sue me? Well, bad news – I have half of those lawmakers under my payroll.”

Jinyoung was rendered speechless. Jaebum’s blatant display of corruption was _something else_. Why was his husband proud of it? “Does being a criminal mastermind really all that to you? Are you really happy running over the law?”

“Of course, I worked hard for it. And I’m telling you, the underground is more honourable than the system above.” Jaebum shrugged.

Jinyoung would not have any of it, “What’s honourable about stealing off people’s money and killing innocents on the street? What’s honourable about selling drugs and ruining everyone’s life?”

Jaebum clicked his tongue, as if disappointed at Jinyoung’s argument. “We don’t _steal_ money, we collect what people _owe_ us. We don’t kill innocents. Jesus, where did you even get that? We only kill those who crossed us and you can never be innocent if you’ve crossed us. Lastly, we don’t force people to buy our drugs. They chose to ruin their lives all on their own.” Jaebum gave a pointed look, “So what are you trying to prove here? Or are you just trying to start an argument?”

Jinyoung was rendered speechless. How did one answer that? He could not find words to throw back at Jaebum and it frustrated him severely.

Jaebum eyed Jinyoung’s notebook once again, “So is that where you wrote all that you’ve learned? Mind showing it?”

Jinyoung backed away and clutched the notebook to his chest tightly as if holding it for his dear life. “No.” He squinted his eyes in suspicions, “Why are you being so chatty anyway? What do you really want?”

“Nothing. I told you, I’m giving you the chance to get to know me. I don’t lie, husband.” Jaebum continued, “And I’d prefer it if you learned stuff about me from me. That way, you won’t get wrong impressions.”

Jinyoung was still suspicious. There would be no reason as to why Jaebum would want to open up to him. And it would not even affect his impressions about his husband in the slightest because he _could not_ think of what to think about him. Jaebum was such an enigma.

He tried testing him, “Who’s Nora?”

Jaebum’s brows raised high up his forehead. He was clearly surprised. “Who told you about her? Was it Bambam?” He cleared his throat and his expression smoothed back into its usual nonchalance before he continued, “Nora’s my pet lion. Why? Do you want to see her?”

Jinyoung did not expect that. So Jaebum was really ready to play twenty one questions with him. _Huh._ “Don’t you think lions aren’t made to be kept as pets? They’re _lions_ for Christ’s sake.”

“And you married me. Now what’s more unbelievable, huh?” Jaebum countered, throwing an arm across the back of the couch, his fingertips almost touching Jinyoung.

Jinyoung scooted back a little bit more. “You’re getting mad.” He said to which Jaebum just gave him a pointed look as if saying that it was his fault for asking a dumb question. Well, it was not dumb to Jinyoung. No sane person would keep a lion, _lions_ , as pet. Jaebum was crazy. But Jinyoung was also curious about a lot of things so he took the opportunity Jaebum so forcefully presented to him. “Okay, let’s keep the questions real and meaningful if that’s what you want. Did you actually want to become Don?”

It was a question that nagged at Jinyoung ever since day one. His husband was proud and he took the mafia very seriously. But did he aspire to be their leader? Did he actually _want_ to be their leader? Or was he just fulfilling a duty? Jinyoung needed to know.

“I knew you had some sense in there somewhere. Must have been buried under all of your pettiness.” Jaebum commented and Jinyoung wanted so bad to walk out on him. “I never actually desired to be Don. Seongwoo led the famiglia before me and I looked up to him. I still look up to him even now. He was just so strong, so formidable, so _powerful_ that I didn’t see anyone else leading the famiglia besides him.” Jaebum’s tone shifted to something almost tender – like someone giving a prayer. It was clear to Jinyoung that Jaebum idolised his father. “When he stepped down, I thought Jackson would be a good candidate but everyone else thought I could do it. So you could say that I accepted the position out of duty but that’s it. I’m proud to be Don, I’m doing this more than just because it’s my duty. The famiglia _owns_ me.”

Jinyoung did not expect such a raw and honest answer from Jaebum. He had expected him to say that he craved the power ever since then, that he desperately wanted to command Korea’s biggest crime syndicate. Jinyoung was not prepared to hear the underlying doubts Jaebum had.

“Is that why you married me? Because the mafia needed you to?” Jinyoung asked in a hesitant voice and he hated just how much weak he sounded. Pathetic.

Jaebum sighed like he knew his answer would only disappoint Jinyoung – his brutal honesty required him to say the words Jinyoung hated. “You know the answer to that. Yes, Jinyoung. I didn’t even know Jintae had a son until just before the marriage.”

“Huh, I’m not going to lie. That hurt but it’s the truth so there’s nothing we could do about it.” Jinyoung shrugged. “Besides, I haven’t really known you until you became Don. So we’re kind of even at that.”

Now, that was a lie. Jinyoung knew that he and Jaebum would never stand on even grounds. It did not matter if Jinyoung did not know Jaebum before. Unlike him who was easily replaceable, Jaebum was an important person – if not the most important in their society. Jaebum was at the top of an empire.

They continued for another hour. Jinyoung continuously hounded Jaebum for answers but he had stayed clear from the more sensitive topics. Jinyoung opted to redirect the conversation into safer zones like which weapon was Jaebum’s favorite, what was the strongest drug he had tried, and what legal businesses he owned. To Jaebum’s credit, he answered everything like a champion. Jinyoung’s husband did not evade any question and just stayed there looking bored for the entirety of the time.

 

 

Knocks from his door disturbed Jinyoung from reading. He had gotten back to the routine of devouring novels after novels and his current read, he took back to his room. He was in the mood to bury himself in thick blankets with a cup of tea on the side. Jinyoung’s trainings had stopped being daily and Jaebum had given the mentorship reigns to the other made men. He only had to train for at least two hours, thrice a week.

Jinyoung’s favorite sparring partner would definitely be Yugyeom. The man was irritating enough that Jinyoung could channel all his annoyance into a mean uppercut. Bambam, on the other hand, was a very difficult opponent. The Thai might not have been as strong as the others but he was very agile and quick, and his techniques gave Jinyoung a massive headache. Even in duels, Bambam was flamboyant and loud.

Another loud sparring partner would be Jackson. In all honesty, Jinyoung dreaded the days when the famiglia’s underboss would sit in as his mentor. There was no doubt that the man was Jaebum’s brother. They both have the same fighting style and mercilessness when it came to beating him to a pulp. The only difference would be that instead of cold silence with occasional chastisement from Jaebum, sessions with Jackson would be loud and full of laughter – not from Jinyoung, however. All the noise were single handedly produced by the made man. And even though Jackson kept on bursting into laughter, Jinyoung was aware that it was never at his expense. Jackson just seemed to love cackling a lot.

Before Jinyoung could utter a word, the door to his room opened and Jaebum entered. The Don gave Jinyoung a questioning look, “You’re aware that it’s noon, right?” Jaebum made a hand gesture towards Jinyoung’s cocooned state. “Or do you plan on retiring to sleep _this_ early?”

Jinyoung closed the book he was reading after carefully placing a bookmark in between the pages. He was not like Jaebum who dog eared his books – how atrocious. He turned to Jaebum with a sigh, “What’s it to you?”

Jinyoung learned that Jaebum tolerated most of his disrespectfulness as long as he did not shout. But of course that was only mostly since Jaebum was still prone to flares of anger if lines were stepped and crossed. Fortunately, Jinyoung was getting the hang of being just feisty enough that he got on Jaebum’s nerves but not enough to set the bomb off. “Why are you here, anyway?”

Jaebum clicked his tongue, “We’re going out tonight.”

Jinyoung sat straighter at that and he narrowed his eyes at Jaebum. “Where?” It was the middle of the week. They did not go outside together except for Sundays – well, Jinyoung did not have anywhere he could go to. Everything was provided for him in Jaebum’s home. And it was not as if he could just step out of the house that easily because – fear still trickled at the back of his mind and Jinyoung knew that Jaebum _knew_ about it. So, where could Jaebum possibly be taking him?

“Don’t look so defensive. I’m not selling you off.” Jaebum stated as he leaned towards Jinyoung’s dresser. “And before you get any ideas, I don’t plan on ever selling you, okay? It’s Yugyeom’s party tonight.”

“Party?” Jinyoung asked. A party meant people and Jinyoung was not sure if he could handle being in the same vicinity with strangers who were mostly likely made too.

“Yeah, it’s his birthday today which is also the day he was made. It’s a double celebration so it’s going to be a long night. It’s open to all in our famiglia and to their families.” Jaebum shrugged then straightened his stance. He started walking towards the door, clearly about to leave.

“What do I wear?” Jinyoung blurted out. So far, all he had been wearing were suits. However, it was a party – Yugyeom’s birthday party. Does the mafia wear suits to a party too?

“A suit, Jinyoung. Always a suit. We leave at eight tonight.” Jaebum said mildly judging Jinyoung for even bringing up such a question before closing the door shut and leaving Jinyoung to seethe in annoyance.

 

 

Jinyoung should have expected that the party would be held in some insanely lavish and expensive location – but he did not. Hence, he was shocked when Paradise came into view. It was the most luxurious hotel and casino in all of Korea. _Of course_. Nothing less would have sufficed when it came to the mafia.

“Close your mouth, Jinyoung. It’s unsightly.” Jaebum chided. He was sitting beside Jinyoung in his usual calm and relaxed composure. His profound smugness always made Jinyoung want to throw things at him.

“Did you book a function hall? Wait, of course you did, rich assholes that you are.” Jinyoung quipped.

“Actually, no.” Jaebum raised a brow and clicked his tongue, “I booked the whole building.”

Jinyoung’s jaw fell open because _what_?

“I said, close your mouth, Jinyoung.” Jaebum said just as their car eased to a stop. Jinyoung noticed the lack of people that usually milled around such a grand building and his mind almost short-circuited at the fact that his husband _did_ book the whole site.

“For a birthday? You spent what? Millions for a birthday?” Jinyoung exclaimed. It was all too insane for his brain to understand.

A valet opened the door and Jaebum alighted, straightening his coat jacket and cocking his head at Jinyoung who seemed frozen on the car seat. “I didn’t spend anything. I own this.”

If Jinyoung’s brain dodged short-circuiting before now it definitely did not – his brain was fried into ashes, turned into a mush.

“Come on, we have to get inside.” Jinyoung felt Jaebum tug his wrist and he robotically followed his husband inside the building – mind still reeling from the fact that Jaebum actually owned it. He heard Jaebum say, “Don’t be so surprised. You know I have legal business too. This hotel is a good front, makes people less suspicious about where I get my money from.”

Jinyoung was aware of that. Jaebum had told him that the Ims had an empire of legal and actual businesses as big as their syndicate’s. But he did not thought it would be _this_ huge. Damn.

They went to the topmost floor that opened to a massive rooftop bar and pool. Before they enter, however, Jaebum looked straight into Jinyoung’s eyes and said, “There will be lots of mafioso and I know you’re wary of being outside and among strangers. Jackson and the others are here so they can keep an eye on you too but for the most part, I want you to stick to my side, Jinyoung.”

 

 

Jinyoung cursed Jaebum as he stood at the corner – _alone_. His husband was the one who told him to stick by his side all the time but where was he? Jinyoung had briefly excused himself to the restroom and returned to the party without his husband in sight. So much for keeping his hopes on Jaebum.

Jinyoung navigated the area, staying close to the walls. The last thing he wanted was to be engaged in a conversation with anyone. From where he was, he had a great overview of the whole scene. There were already a couple of drunk people dancing in the middle of the floor. He vaguely spotted Yugyeom at the center of the crowd and shook his head. It was his birthday, he could go and make all the bad decisions he wanted in life.

However, Jinyoung could not see his husband anywhere and he briefly wondered if the man had left him. He immediately cleared his thoughts – surely, Jaebum would not do that to him. Nonetheless, Jinyoung felt his anxiety spike as his palms started sweating and his breath started getting heavier.

Jinyoung continued searching for Jaebum but he was halted when two women blocked his way. They bore familial resemblance and Jinyoung mused that they must be mother and daughter – since one was definitely older than the other. Jinyoung’s blood pounded in his ears and he breathed in slow and deep. They were women so they could not be made but Jinyoung kept his guard up. One can never be too sure in their world and he had learned it the hard way. Never again.

Jinyoung plastered a fake smile and greeted the women, “Good evening. Is there anything you need?”

The older of the two spoke, “It’s indeed a wonderful evening, Jinyoung-ssi. I see you’re not with your husband.”

Jinyoung did not know what to make of that. Of course, unless the lady was blind – Jaebum was clearly not around. “We got separated. This party is wild.” And it was true, the music was booming loud and every thump of the bass made Jinyoung’s eye twitch. The stream of liquor was also never ending and Jinyoung had not seen this many drunken men who wore pressed suits until now. “I’m actually looking for him.”

“How are you holding up so far? It must be taxing to be married to such an amazing man.” The woman said which Jinyoung found hard to decipher – if it was meant with good intentions or with _something_ else.

Being married to Jaebum was indeed exhausting in many ways – from his mercurial moods to his arrogant and stoic personality to his demanding nature. However, Jinyoung would definitely not admit to that in front of strangers. He was getting an unwelcoming vibe from the women and he was never one to back down.

“It’s wonderful, really. He’s been nothing but-” Jinyoung thought of the right word, “Sweet. Yeah, my husband has been really sweet.”

The look on the women’s faces made Jinyoung snicker inside. So, they were really trying to scare him away huh? Well, too bad, he had been around Jaebum for more than a month now – no one else could intimidate him the way his husband did.

“S-sweet? You mean Jaebum-ssi?” The younger woman stuttered and Jinyoung swallowed the urge to laugh.

He gave a sweet smile instead, “Of course. Jaebum would be so mad if I turned out to be married to someone else. He’s very possessive, you know?”

Jinyoung saw a flicker of something – irritation, maybe? – flash in the younger lady’s eyes as she challenged, “Oh yeah? Then why hasn’t someone seen you out together? Seems a bit like Jaebum-ssi is hiding you. For what reason, we have no clue.”

Whatever apprehension Jinyoung had from before dissipated. These girls were no threat to him – they were obviously just envious that he got married to their Don. And Jinyoung started for feel annoyed at their desperate and pathetic display. Yes, his husband was the Don and if Jinyoung had learned anything from being with the exasperating man – it was how to get on their nerves so much more than they get on yours.

“Oh, that. Jaebum’s just been really territorial. Possessive, as I have told you. He doesn’t want me to go outside without him since he’s jealous other people would fall in love with me. His words, not mine.” Jinyoung emphasised, enjoying the way the women’s faces scrunched up in disappointment. Jinyoung gave the final blow, “Also, he might not say it but I think he secretly likes to keep me caged at home. He’s _naughty_ like that.”

The two women visibly reddened and gaped like fishes. It looked like they were trying to formulate words but nothing came. Jinyoung internally huffed and rolled his eyes – how piteous. Were they really that surprised about Jaebum’s sexual preference? Did they really expect their Don to be vanilla? That made Jinyoung wonder – would _he_ be surprised if his husband did prefer to have unconventional sex and was inclined to deviance? Jinyoung concluded that _no_ , he would not be shocked if that came out to be true. With the way Jaebum moved and acted like a predator, it was only expected that he would be into some sort of kinks in bed – because as hard as Jinyoung tried to imagine it, he just could not see Jaebum being, well, vanilla. That seemed to be very plain and Jaebum was nothing close to being plain. However, questions rose to the forefront of Jinyoung’s brain that stirred his curiosity. How intense could Jaebum actually be? And what specific kinks would he be into?

Jinyoung immediately shook his head to clear his mind. It was not the proper time and place to be thinking of Jaebum’s performance in bed. He should not even be having thoughts of his husband during sex in the first place. Jinyoung mentally berated his wayward brain for once again undermining him.

The two ladies fidgeted in front of him and had the decency to look apologising. Good, Jinyoung thought. People needed to learn their place. “Uhm, it’s nice meeting you Jinyoung-ssi.” The older of the women said and they bowed their heads before quickly dismissing themselves.

And as much as Jinyoung was entertained from the ladies, he still had to look for his husband. Where could that prick be?

It turned out that Jinyoung did not need to look any further because Jaebum suddenly appeared on his side like an apparition. It almost made Jinyoung scream too. “Where did you come from? Goodness, can’t you act like a normal person?” Jinyoung exclaimed. His heartbeat felt like it was running at a thousand beats per minute and his blood pressure definitely spiked into stroke-inducing levels. His husband was definitely a predator. “Where were you in the first place? I was looking for you!” A thought came to Jinyoung and he squinted his eyes at the Don, “Were you here all this time? Were you eavesdropping?”

Jaebum raised a brow and cocked his head, “Possessive and naughty, huh?”

Jinyoung felt his entire body temperature rise in embarrassment. How could Jaebum just listen to their conversation like that? That was some serious stalker vibe and Jinyoung was at the end of his limits. He prayed the ground to split open and swallow him whole. Fuck.

Jinyoung turned on his heels and stormed off but Jaebum was quick to walk alongside him, “I told you to stick to my side, Jinyoung.” Jinyoung glared at his husband, still mortified and pissed.

Jinyoung did not know where he was going but fortunately, Youngjae called his name and Jinyoung did not waste time heading towards his friend, Jaebum still at his side. It appeared that the whole of Jaebum’s gang had a table at the elevated platform of the roof deck. It had the view of the whole party scene and of Seoul’s city.

Jackson greeted them loudly while he was hanging all over Mark who was sipping his drink in peace. “Yo, Jaebum, my man! Done with the pleasantries?” It was obvious just how wasted Jackson was.

“How much has he had?” Jaebum asked Mark who put his glass down to readjust Jackson’s position. It was not an easy feat as Jackson was almost lying on top of the consigliere but Mark pulled through and without an ounce of annoyance visible in his beautiful face.

“A bottle?” Mark answered but when Jaebum would not have it, he continued, “Of vodka. He finished the whole bottle.” Mark defeatedly pointed to the empty clear bottle of liquor.

Jaebum shook his head when Jackson quipped, “I know that face, brother. You think I’m drunk. Well, you’re right and you should be too! Come on!” The underboss shoved a glass to Jaebum’s face.

Jinyoung watched as Jaebum teased a smile and accepted the drink offered to him. His husband gulped it in one go and Jinyoung felt something stir in his stomach. He must be getting hungry.

Jinyoung looked around and thankfully, the whole table was covered with fruits and snacks. He took a small cut sandwich and started eating it. Youngjae, on the other hand, seemed to have a different plan as he took the bread from Jinyoung’s hands and replaced it with a glass of something pink.

“What is this, Youngjae?”

The made man smiled sweetly, “It’s some cocktail Bambam mixed earlier. Go on, it’s good!”

Jinyoung examined the drink – it did not appear too deadly and besides, it was just one glass. So Jinyoung took a sip. And Youngjae was right, it was sweet and sour – delicious. Now, Jinyoung was not someone who partied a lot or had the habit of drinking but he was not new to it. He smiled at Youngjae and emptied the glass. Bambam must have been a professional – the drink tasted nothing like alcohol. It was almost like drinking fruit juice.

Jinyoung vaguely remembered Jaebum’s rule before they left the house – drink only from a glass you poured. Apparently, that was the mafia’s number one rule in partying as it would be inevitable that someone would slip something in the drinks. Especially if that someone had been holding a grudge. But Jinyoung surmised that it would not be necessary to be all suspicious and distrustful towards Youngjae. The made man was his friend.

However, after what Jinyoung deemed as an hour, his brain regretfully admitted to being in the wrong. He should have followed Jaebum’s rule because he was starting to doubt the content of the beverage Youngjae kept on making him drink. Surely, he could not have gotten so drunk so _easily_ – but the way he felt tingly all over and the fact that his vision blurred until he could see two Youngjae’s must be some indication that he was well intoxicated already.

“Youngjae, I think I’m drunk.” Jinyoung said nearly falling off his seat when he leaned closer to the made man.

“But that’s the point, hyung! It’s a party!” Youngjae shouted, certainly drunk as well with a voice that was a lot louder than his usual loud voice and if Jinyoung was not feeling woozy, he would have cringed at how his ear drums were being damaged. But all he could do was giggle. Damn.

Their drinks seemed to have no end as Youngjae kept on producing pitcher after pitcher of Bambam’s concoction. Jinyoung turned towards where his husband supposedly sat but the couch was now empty and he frowned. It was the second time Jaebum left his side and he did not like the way it unsettled him. He asked his friend, “Youngjae, where’s Jaebum? He’s not there.” Jinyoung pointed towards the couch beside theirs.

“Oh, you haven’t noticed? He and Jackson hyung have been gone for thirty minutes now. Jeez, you _are_ drunk.” Youngjae laughed and Jinyoung did not understand why he was laughing. His fuzzy mind was screaming for him to look for his husband but his friend was laughing. Did Jaebum leave as a joke? Was that why Youngjae was laughing?

“Is this a prank?” Jinyoung asked out loud and Youngjae laughed some more, giggling that he was cute. That was not true – Jinyoung was not trying to be cute. He was worried where Jaebum could have gone.

Youngjae poured his glass full to the brim again, “Here, drink some more. You’re very funny, hyung.”

Jinyoung did not want to get more drunk – not that he thought he could be any _more_ drunk – so he pushed the glass away in an attempt to decline the offered drink. However, it seemed that his hand was not in the mood to cooperate with his whole body because when he tried to move it _slightly_ away, the glass toppled over and splashed its content all over the table. And for some inexplicable reason, Jinyoung found it funny – so he laughed.

He also tried to stand, finally deciding to look for Jaebum on his own, but his legs did not want to cooperate as well and they gave under his weight. Fortunately, Youngjae – even if severely tipsy too – managed to catch Jinyoung before the latter bashed his face on the table. And just like with the spilt cocktail, the two found the whole situation funny and they broke out into loud laughter. _Ah, Youngjae was meant to be my friend_ , Jinyoung thought as they both fell to the ground in heaps of cackling messes.

And that was how Jaebum and Jackson found them after returning from wherever they went to. Jackson appeared to be a little bit sober than he was a while ago but he was obviously still drunk. Well, at least he was still able to walk and stand on his feet unlike Jinyoung who just settled comfortably on the floor.

Jaebum, on the other hand, did not look impressed. “What in the world are you doing?” He glared at Jinyoung but offered a concerned look towards Youngjae as he said, “Are you alright, Youngjae?”

Jinyoung found it very unfair that his husband was only concerned about Youngjae.

“Yeah, hyung. I got Jinyoung hyung very drunk and we ended being here. He’s fun.” Youngjae said as he sat up. He offered Jinyoung help but the latter did not take it.

Instead, Jinyoung made a face at Jaebum. “Yeah, I’m being fun but you arrived and spoiled it.”

“You’re clearly drunk.” Jaebum shook his head, “What did you feed him, Youngjae?”

“Uh, Bambam’s cocktail?” Youngjae hesitantly replied.

Jinyoung saw Jaebum’s eyes widened in shock simultaneously with Jackson howling in laughter, “Holy shit, Youngjae!” Jackson exclaimed. “You know Bam makes deadly mixes. Way to go! Jinyoung probably can’t even see us right now.” He whistled and plopped down on the couch, taking a beer bottle and uncapping it.

Jinyoung wanted to prove that Jackson was wrong, “You’re wrong. I can very much see you. All _five_ of you.”

Jackson threw his head back and let out his laugh _very_ loudly, “Bammie should see this. Jinyoung’s really shit faced.” He turned to Jinyoung and said, “My dear brother-in-law, we’re not five here. It’s just me, Jaebum and Youngjae.”

Jinyoung’s mouth fell open. Jackson must be lying to him because he definitely saw five people. Two Jacksons who were sitting on the couch, two Youngjaes who were looking at him funny, and one Jaebum who was standing before him and looking pissed.

“You’re fucking drunk, Jinyoung. Get up from the floor.” Jaebum commanded.

Jinyoung thought that he would very much like to punch Jaebum in his annoyingly handsome face but the fact was – he could not. “I can’t. I can’t stand up.”

“For fuck’s sake, Jinyoung.” Jaebum hissed but he also bent down and lifted Jinyoung to the couch. “Do you want us to go home? I’ve made pleasantries with everyone. Yugyeom is dead in the middle of the dance floor and Bambam doesn’t look like he could go on any further. So do you want to leave now?”

Jinyoung felt bad for a moment. He had not paid much attention to Yugyeom all night. Granted, the man kept on dancing and drinking in the middle of the crowd, along with Bambam, but it was still his birthday. He had instead spent majority of his time getting shitfaced drunk with Youngjae who was now dozing off. Jinyoung supposed that the party was over.

“Can we go home now?”

Jaebum sighed. “Actually, the driver has gotten himself drunk. I can drive us but I’m not sober myself and I would not risk our lives.”

Jinyoung thought that Jaebum was lying – his husband did not look drunk at all. “So we’re just gonna spend the night here?” Jinyoung hiccupped and his words were becoming really slurry too. It was not funny anymore. His surroundings were starting to fade away.

“I own this building remember?” Jaebum stood and beckoned at Jinyoung, “Come on, let’s go.”

Jinyoung felt heavier and heavier as the seconds ticked and he would surely be embarrassed if he had half the mind. But right now, he did not so he made grabby hands at Jaebum. “I can’t stand.”

Jaebum cocked his head and appeared to contemplate for a second before crouching down to Jinyoung’s level. “You’re really a pain in the ass.” He hissed before inserting an arm between Jinyoung’s leg and the couch, effectively placing it under the knee. Jaebum placed his other arm across Jinyoung’s back then without effort – he lifted Jinyoung up.

Jinyoung startled and immediately threw his arms around Jaebum’s neck for security. He peered at his husband and blushed deep red when he found that Jaebum was already looking down at him – which prompted Jinyoung to bury his head into his husband’s chest in embarrassment. Jaebum gave a small nod before he averted his eyes to look at where they were going.

Jackson whistled in the background, “Damn, Jaebum. What blatant display of masculinity.”

Jaebum did not bother to answer Jackson’s teasing tone. He continued to walk towards the direction of the elevators and Jinyoung smiled at the fact that _he_ was not walking. It definitely felt good that someone was carrying him. Jinyoung did not actually know if he was drunk enough to use it as cover for the fluttering feeling in his stomach. But he refused to think that he was not stupidly intoxicated because that would mean – well, Jinyoung did not want to know what that would mean.

They bumped into Mark on their way and the consigliere raised a brow but before he could say a word, Jaebum cut him off with a, “Shut up.”

 

 

Jaebum ended up bringing Jinyoung to the presidential suite of the hotel which was as big and extravagant as how it was advertised in the magazines. Jaebum sat Jinyoung down on the edge of the bed.

“The room is equipped with everything you might need for tonight. Or if you need something else, you can call for hotel service. I’ll send someone to bring a new pair of suit for you to wear in the morning.” Jaebum gave Jinyoung a final once over, “I’ll call the reception for some medicine. Go take a shower first, you’re a mess.”

Jaebum turned on his heel and headed for the door. And Jinyoung did not know why or how but a sudden pang of loneliness hit him. And it hit him _hard_. It was so profound that he felt a constriction in his chest and he started to feel panic rising from within him.

“Don’t go.”

Jaebum turned to look at him, “Is anything wrong?”

“Nothing, but please stay?” Jinyoung said, voice soft as if he was scared of something. It was ridiculous since there was no one else in the room that he should fear but he was feeling it and it was upsetting him.

Jaebum sighed, “It’s late, Jinyoung and even if you don’t believe it, I need to sleep too.”

Jinyoung clutched the bed sheet tight. “What if I stayed on the couch and you sleep on the bed? Can you stay?”

Jaebum looked at him quizzically, “Are you alright, Jinyoung? Maybe you drank too much for your own good. Sleep it off.”

“No, I want you to stay. Please?”

Now, Jaebum started to look concerned. He walked back towards Jinyoung. “Should I be worried? What’s wrong?”

“I-I don’t know. I just-I’m scared?” Jinyoung admitted. And he did not know if it was the alcohol that made him feel so vulnerable or the possibility that he would be left alone in a big room inside a big building far from _their_ home.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of. This building is secured, Jinyoung. I’ve made sure of it, with the sheer amount of my men in here. You know I won’t risk the famiglia.” Jaebum placated.

Then it dawned on Jinyoung that this time was different. It was not the possible threat to his life that frightened him. It was the possibility of being left _alone_ that scared him. He had felt desolated all his life and now he did not want to be. Jinyoung had finally made friends – if Youngjae, Bambam and Yugyeom were counted. But there was still something missing. Like a piece of a puzzle that had been lost. He felt like he was incomplete. And Jinyoung feared that it would stay that way. Because why was the stupid hole still taking space in his heart even if he had friends now? How was it not enough?

Jinyoung realised that the hole only ever felt like it was not there when Jaebum was around. Perhaps it was the way the loneliness turned into annoyance whenever his husband was in the vicinity. Perhaps it was because he had no time to feel empty when Jaebum kept on getting under his skin.

Jinyoung did not notice when the tears started to trickle down his face but now it poured heavily and his breathing got ragged that he could not help but be aware that he was breaking down in front of Jaebum.

Jinyoung was definitely not crying because he was drunk – it was true what the old saying told, a drunk mind only spoke the sober heart.

“Jesus Christ, why are you crying?” Jaebum exclaimed as he started to pace in front of Jinyoung. “What’s wrong? Tell me, Jinyoung. Don’t just cry. Speak.”

Jinyoung hiccupped and dragged in a breath. He continued crying until his face was well wet and the collar of his shirt drenched.

“I swear to God, Jinyoung. You can’t drink alcohol from now on. I’m gonna fucking end Youngjae.” Jaebum seethed. “Fucking tell me what’s wrong, Jinyoung.”

As much as Jaebum threatened, Jinyoung did not know where to begin or what to say. So he continued to sob and Jaebum’s temper continued to rise.

“I’m getting really pissed.” Jaebum spat and sat harshly beside Jinyoung. “If you can’t tell me why you just burst out crying, fucking stop. I’ll stay here if that’s what you want, okay?”

Jinyoung nodded, thankful that Jaebum at least decided to keep him company. He did not intend to use his tears to threaten his husband into staying and he hoped that Jaebum did not see it that way. He can not let Jaebum think that way.

Jinyoung, out of pure impulsivity, lunged forward and hugged Jaebum – to which he was relieved when Jaebum loosely hugged back. His cries finally subsided down to sniffles. And he said while he buried his head into his husband’s shoulder, “I’m scared to be alone.”

“What? Why? You’re a grown up, Jinyoung. You can’t just cry because you’re scared of being alone.” Jaebum shook his head. The Don clearly did not get what Jinyoung meant and it resulted into a fresh batch of tears.

Jaebum groaned, “Oh for fuck’s sake, stop crying.”

Then it all happened too fast for Jinyoung’s brain to process. One moment he was crying on Jaebum’s shoulder then the next, the Don pulled back and sneered at him before connecting their mouths in a harsh press of a kiss.

It was so abrupt and unexpected that it did what Jaebum had wanted him to do – it stopped his tears.

“Finally.” Jaebum said, lips still on his.

Jinyoung felt a smirk form in Jaebum’s mouth and for a minute, he panicked on what that might have signified. But Jaebum’s mouth started moving on his own, licking and nibbling at his lips.

Jaebum drew in Jinyoung closer and nudged his mouth to open. It was probably the emotional toll and alcohol that made Jinyoung hold onto Jaebum tighter.

It was vulnerability that made Jinyoung part his mouth.

It was _something_ else that made Jinyoung let Jaebum kiss him deeper.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, uhm- that happened. *covers myself from the wave of tomatoes you're probably gonna throw at me*  
> TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK alsjhdgs
> 
> Drop by my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/crudescere) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/crudescere) to see me scream for the boys. :D


	9. Chapter 9

IX

 

Ira furor brevis est

(Anger is brief insanity)

\- Epistles I, 2, 62, Horace

 

 

It seemed almost a dream, a very vivid and specific dream. Jinyoung was kissing Jaebum and Jaebum was kissing him back. Or more like it was Jaebum who was actually _kissing_ for Jinyoung did not know what to do. Jinyoung wanted to believe that what was happening was a dream, a fantasy but he was not drunk enough to fool himself like that. He knew they were both awake and conscious of their continuous liplock.

It should have been a shock; Jinyoung should have ran for the hills the moment Jaebum pressed lips on his. But Jinyoung remained seated and he reciprocated, hands travelling along his husband’s arms and resting on his sturdy chest. He could feel Jaebum’s warmth under his fingertips and it sent tingles down his spine. He was giddy and excited – he knew that he was going to regret this in the morning but Jaebum’s lips moving against his mouth erased whatever doubts he had as of the moment.

Jaebum leaned closer towards Jinyoung and his weight against Jinyoung’s intoxicated state prompted them to fall onto the bed in a heap of clumsy bodies, with Jinyoung underneath Jaebum. The kiss turned firmer, harsher, _more intense_ as Jaebum licked at the seam of Jinyoung’s mouth that urged the latter to open up and surrender. The Don pushed his tongue inside his husband’s mouth and explored; Jaebum lapped at Jinyoung’s tongue and ran his own over and under Jinyoung’s teeth. It was not a battle, no – Jinyoung laid completely pliant under Jaebum’s ministrations.

And when Jaebum pulled back a bit to gaze deeply into him, Jinyoung’s breath hitched and his heart stopped beating. _This was it_.

Jinyoung prepared himself for the next step. Sure, he was a virgin but he was not ignorant of how sex worked. He knew the meaning behind the glint in Jaebum’s dark orbs; knew the explanation behind his tightening grip on Jinyoung’s wrist.

“We should stop.”

_Oh_. Jinyoung was definitely not expecting that. His stomach plummeted at the rejection and Jaebum must have noticed his disappointment because his husband let out a loud sigh before untangling himself from Jinyoung. Jaebum moved back and sat on the bed again while Jinyoung continued to lay on the mattress – staring at the ceiling and questioning himself why Jaebum was backing away. _Was he not attractive enough?_ Jinyoung’s inebriated brain supplied that maybe he just was not. After all, in the novels he read and movies he watched, men found it hard to resist drunk and vulnerable preys. Perhaps Jaebum just was not into him even physically. The thought stung Jinyoung’s dulled senses.

“I’ll stay and sleep on the couch. Go to sleep, Jinyoung.” Jaebum said and Jinyoung picked up something lacing his tone, his voice wavered and it sounded strained, but Jinyoung was drunk and exhausted – he was feeling inadequate – that he dismissed whatever it was. Jaebum can go to hell.

Jaebum disappeared behind the wooden panelling that separated the bed and the rest of the area. Jinyoung slipped into nothingness shortly after with no tears left to cry.

 

 

 

The next morning, Jinyoung wanted to murder Youngjae. His head felt like it was going to split open any moment and his stomach felt like it wanted to get out of him through his mouth. Everytime he opened his eyes, the world tilted and Jinyoung was just so done with it. He felt like shit and he thought that he undoubtedly looked like crap as well. He was definitely going to scold Youngjae for putting him into this state. Jinyoung regretted ever trusting the made man’s smiling face – Youngjae was a snake, that was what he was.

Jinyoung also regretted his display of utter vulnerability to Jaebum. God, he was so stupid for crying in front of his husband and just because he was _lonely_? Jinyoung wanted to throw himself out of the window. It would have been better if Youngjae had overdosed him more of that deadly drink. That way, he could have passed out and prevented all the stuff that happened afterwards. Even waking up with amnesia would have been better. Jinyoung willed himself to forget. However, his brain thought otherwise and bombarded him with memories – of him clinging to Jaebum, of him asking Jaebum to stay, of him kissing Jaebum back.

_Jesus Christ_. Jinyoung buried his face into the pillow and groaned – but he halted himself midway, remembering that Jaebum stayed the night in the room and he would no doubt hear him if he became too loud. Jinyoung wanted to slap himself from the sheer memory of Jaebum’s lips. Damn it. It was beyond him why he thought that kissing Jaebum back was a good idea. He should have pushed his husband away; he should have pulled back. Instead, he leaned in, welcomed him, and had gotten disappointed when Jaebum did not go all the way.

He was so embarrassing and pitiful. Pathetic.

Well, perhaps that was what he was to Jaebum as well. Perhaps his husband saw him dirty, tainted, _unworthy_. Jinyoung’s train of thought went back to that horrible night at the Han river. Jaebum had not actually said anything to him about it; after his initial display of anger, he had not broached the matter with Jinyoung. Jinyoung thought that Jaebum just did not know what to do to offer him comfort and that was why he left everything to Mark. Or maybe that he did not care at all. However, that seemed to be far fetched now. Maybe it was simply that Jaebum needed time and space to deal with the fact that Jinyoung, his husband, was assaulted. Maybe it resulted to the reality that Jaebum found him disgusting to the point that he did not want to touch Jinyoung in more intimate ways.

Jinyoung pondered on his interactions with his husband. He thought that they were getting somewhere, that he was slowly learning the different sides to Jaebum, that he was finally having a glimpse of the man behind the stone cold mask. It was a slap to his cheek and a kick to his gut that his husband probably thought of him like that. And here Jinyoung thought they were finally becoming friends. It hurt, more than he would like to admit, that Jaebum only saw him as a pity project and a duty to the famiglia. After all, they cannot be divorced and that made it sting all the more.

Growing up, Jinyoung was used to living up to the expectations and standards people imposed on him. It was even worse with his father for Jintae never wasted a day telling him just how much of a disappointment he was. Jinyoung learned to cope up with being a failure. It made him angry and spiteful – it paved way for his rebellious personality. It was his loathing for everything related to the underground that fuelled his dreams and aspirations of freedom. However, this was different. Jinyoung did not know how to channel the feeling of disappointing Jaebum into some sort of a driving force. It should not affect him like this, should not pain him so, but it did.

Jinyoung was going crazy; he was slowly losing his mind. He, for the life of him, could not understand why Jaebum’s rejection affected him so much. Sure, it was devastatingly upsetting that their friendship hit a rough patch even before it was properly developed – and Jinyoung wished that he was dismayed just because of that. Only that it was not the case. He was severely worried of the way Jaebum perceived him because he liked him.

This time, Jinyoung groaned – _God_ , he cannot like his husband.

Jinyoung’s thought went back to their kiss. It was so different from the one they shared before the church altar during their wedding. Last night’s kiss blew him away – it changed him. He could not even chalk his emotions to the alcohol because even if he was stupidly drunk, Jinyoung was aware of what happened. And he let it happen because he liked it. He liked Jaebum.

And the sudden realisation was so, so horrible because he cannot have any sort of romantic feelings towards Jaebum. No, he could never like his husband – not like that. It was bad enough that he was trying to forge a decent friendship with Jaebum but to like the latter romantically? It was _wrong_. It could not happen. It was against all Jinyoung vowed and stood for. He would be the universe’s biggest hypocrite if he welcomed Jaebum in that way and Jinyoung could not afford to – that would be a huge mistake on his part.

Nonetheless, Jinyoung’s fingertips tingled and his body flushed whenever the image of his husband hovering over him and pinning him down came to the forefront of his mind. Jinyoung did not understand it. The last time it happened, he spat at Jaebum’s face and cried to drive him away. He put up a fight and argued with Jaebum. Why was it so different now? Jinyoung cursed at his husband for being a jerk. Jinyoung cursed at himself for falling into Jaebum’s trap.

Jaebum, his shit of a husband – he did not have to kiss Jinyoung if he found him so distasteful in the first place. It dawned on Jinyoung that so much worse could have happened. Jaebum was definitely acting under the influence of alcohol and he retreated immediately after probably remembering how dirty Jinyoung was.

_Oh God_ , Jinyoung felt nauseous. It was one thing for Jaebum to kiss him even if there were no feelings involved. It was entirely another thing for his husband to do it while feeling disgusted at Jinyoung’s person. Jaebum could have easily taken advantage of him – he could have broken Jinyoung in that very instant.

Jinyoung did not know what would have happened if Jaebum did proceed and it turned out in the morning that he saw Jinyoung as nothing but filthy. Jinyoung did not think that he could handle it – just thinking about it ripped his insides and he groaned again in despair. However, he did not cry – he could not cry; there was nothing to cry about after all.

Jinyoung was startled back into reality when Jaebum’s voice rang loud in the quietness of the room. However, he only buried his face further into the pillow, refusing to face his husband. It was too soon – Jinyoung needed to compose himself.

“There’s water and aspirin by your bedside table. That would help you stop groaning like you’re dying.” Jaebum continued, “And there’s a new suit too. Go and take a shower, you didn’t last night and I’m sure that’s part why you’re feeling shitty. Hurry, Bambam wants to have lunch before we all go back home.”

Jinyoung glared at the pillow. He did not want to eat. He just wanted to wallow in turmoil and sort out his conflicting emotions. “I don’t want to.” Jinyoung said through his pillow and hoped that it was understandable despite being muffled and slurred.

Jaebum clicked his tongue. Jinyoung noticed that his husband kept on clicking his tongue whenever he talked to him, as if Jinyoung was being childish. “You need to come with us. It’s bad enough that you’ve drank Bambam’s drink without proper food in you. So get up. Don’t test my patience, Jinyoung. I’m not in the mood.”

Jinyoung scoffed. Why was Jaebum being an ass so early in the day? Jinyoung just wanted to be left alone. “Leave me alone.”

A deep sigh and then steps coming towards the bed echoed in the silence of the room. Jinyoung felt the edge of the bed dipped and he scrambled away from his husband, finally facing Jaebum and glaring at him.

“I’m going to chalk this behaviour into the fact that you must be really hungover. Now, start moving, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung clutched at the sheets. Jaebum looked every bit normal and composed. He was in his usual clean and pressed suit, not a single hair misplaced. He oozed nonchalance as if last night did not happen. This was what Jinyoung feared, and what little trust Jinyoung had forged between them came crumbling down. Jaebum was manipulative and opportunistic – his husband would take and take from him, until he was bled out dry, if he did not strengthen his defenses.

It made Jinyoung’s head hurt more. It was all too much to handle when he was hungover. Jinyoung wanted to throw up.

 

 

 

No one else seemed to be in the same deathly state as Jinyoung. The shower and medicine did lessen the pounding in Jinyoung’s head and alleviated the nausea but he still felt like crap. However, the made men appeared to be completely normal, if not more hyper, as they greeted Jinyoung and Jaebum when they entered the restaurant.

“The couple is finally here!” Bambam screeched, hurting Jinyoung’s eardrums.

Youngjae beamed brightly, too brightly for a morning after heavy drinking, and greeted them. “Good morning hyungs!”

Jinyoung glared at the smiling man. “I hate you,” he groaned to which the whole table erupted in giggles.

“I see, I see. Jackson hyung wasn’t kidding when he said you got shitfaced after drinking one of my creations.” Bambam laughed and leaned over across the table just to pat Jinyoung’s head.

Yugyeom snickered into his cup of hot chocolate, “I bet it led to intense fucking.”

Jinyoung whipped his head towards the tall man and was about to shut him up but Jaebum beat him to it. His husband threw a fork at Yugyeom and scolded, “Shut up, it’s none of your business.”

The table fell silent and Jinyoung did not know what to make of Jaebum’s reaction. Was he mad that their private life was the topic? Or did he simply not want to relieve the disgust he felt at kissing Jinyoung? It made Jinyoung’s stomach coil in itself.

Jackson raised a brow and broke the silence, “Why are you pissy? Did it not go well?” He turned to Jinyoung and squinted, “What did you do? Or more specifically, what did you _not_ do?”

“Yeah,” Bambam chimed in, “What happened that warranted Yugyeom’s early death? I can’t be a widow this young.”

“No one is going to be a widow if you all shut up.” Jaebum said with finality.

Everyone in the table looked at Jinyoung for answers but of course, the world be damned, he will not say anything about the matter. There was nothing to say after all. However, Jackson gave him a lingering look as if Jinyoung was to blame for Jaebum’s sour temperament, and it scratched at his nerves because what the fuck? It was clear that they would all be in Jaebum’s side even before knowing what actually went down. And for what? Just because they thought Jinyoung did not please Jaebum in the bedroom, as if he was some sort of a bed warmer – that it was his duty to be Jaebum’s sex object? It made his blood boil that the men he was getting to know and be friends with still thought of him like that. Well, the joke was on them because Jaebum would _never_ touch him like that. Jinyoung seethed in his seat. His sentiments were all over the place and it was overwhelming him.

Fortunately, the topic veered away from Jaebum and Jinyoung’s sex life as the men recounted the occurrences that happened the night before.

“I can’t believe you all left me passed out in the middle of the floor.” Yugyeom complained as he stabbed at his food. “I woke up with Bambam trying to drag me to the pool.”

“That would have been hilarious!” Jackson exclaimed, “Aww, man, you should have called me for help.” He bumped fists with Bambam across the table.

Yugyeom stabbed his lunch harder and he glared at Jackson. An evil smirk formed at his lips and he quipped, “Well, a pool death would definitely be better than being mauled in public by an angry ex.”

“Y-you!” Jackson stuttered, wide eyed, as the men around the table let out slow and measured breaths.

“You’re on your own now, Jackson hyung.” Bambam retreated and sat properly on his seat.

Jackson pointed a finger at the made man who looked like he was trying to appear decent, “You’re such a fucking traitor, Bam. You couldn’t even shut your boyfriend up. What the fuck?” Jackson turned to Jaebum. “Help here, dear brother.”

Jaebum sipped his coffee and looked at Jackson over the rim of his mug – and shrugged.

“Oh, come on! You know it isn’t like that!” Jackson whined. “She’s not my ex or whatever. She’s delusional, alright?”

Jaebum put his mug down and said, “Delusional or not, she was ready to scratch your face off. Had I not been with you, you would have probably died.”

“Jaebum!”

“What?” Jaebum narrowed his eyes towards his brother, “You should be thankful that we were at a party and everyone was drunk off their asses. Or else, it could have been worse. Way fucking worse, you know that. You should be thankful she was not spoken for.”

Jackson appeared incredulous, “Goodness, do you think so lowly of me? That I would break one of our most sacred rules?”

“Well, you certainly have the knack for sleeping around.” Mark said ever so quietly as he brought a fork towards his mouth. He appeared cool and calm, unbothered that the topic at hand was Jackson’s sexual pursuit.

Jinyoung could not decipher what was going on in the consigliere’s head but the sharp intake of breath from everyone else, including Jackson – only that his was tinged with pain, plunged the lunch table into a thick tension. It seemed to always happen whenever they were all together. Jinyoung would like to think that he was intuitive enough to draw up theories and by the looks of Jackson and Mark, he surmised that something definitely complicated was going on between them. Jackson wore a pained expression and Jinyoung, no matter how much he disliked Jackson in the beginning, could see that the underboss was really hurt. Mark, however, looked detached and if Jinyoung would dare to say, he looked like someone who had given up and had accepted the ways of the world.

As sad as it might be, Jinyoung hope that that was the cause. It had to be because the alternative conclusion Jinyoung got from observing the two made men was more grim and depressing. Jinyoung’s other theory was that Mark enjoyed putting Jackson in such a negative light because it indirectly degraded him as well. _That_ was a very dark thought so Jinyoung hoped and wished that it was his first idea that was true.

“Mark,” Jackson said, voice not far from begging.

“Hmm,” Mark hummed in acknowledgment and gave a smile, “It was Joohyun, right? She’s really pretty and her dad is doing good at his job. The match might be tricky since you’re an Im but it’s not impossible.”

Jackson deflated at that. He seemed to have accepted that he would not win this time. And Mark’s smile was fragile, as if just a tiny push would break it. Jinyoung wondered if Jackson knew that Mark was hurting just as well.

Jaebum clicked his tongue as he looked back and forth between his brother and his best friend. He was sporting a deep frown and Jinyoung could not help but notice the lines of worry etched along with it. Jaebum was clearly distraught with Jackson and Mark’s relationship. It sent an unwelcomed rush of warmth in Jinyoung’s chest that even if Jaebum was incapable of showing care towards him, at least he was able to show it to his friends. That made him less of a monster in Jinyoung’s view – which was completely unnecessary because he should not be looking for points where Jaebum softened and turned gentle. Jinyoung was supposed to be holding onto the harsh and stoic character his husband had.

It was driving him insane.

 

 

 

The drive back home was certainly awkward as Jinyoung sat far away from Jaebum – like he did when they first met. He could not wait to lock himself in his room and sleep off his warring thoughts. Jinyoung stared outside the window and envied the people walking across the streets; he was jealous of their normalcy and mundaneness. He sighed.

“Is something the matter?” Jaebum broke the silence.

Jinyoung almost said that yes, something was definitely up – that he was going insane with all the thoughts running in his head. That he was so exhausted. But of course, hell would freeze over before he let himself be vulnerable in front of Jaebum again. “Nothing, my head just hurts a lot.” Well, that was not a lie. His head still felt like someone was hacking at it, presumably the remaining alcohol in his system and the memory of Jaebum’s kiss.

“You should have consulted Mark if it hurt that much.” Jaebum reprimanded.

“I’ll just sleep it off when we get back. Stop fussing about it.” Jinyoung bit back.

His underlying hostility did not go unnoticed and Jaebum turned his body so that he was fully facing Jinyoung. “What the fuck is your problem?”

Jinyoung winced and frowned at the sharp tone his husband used, “I told you, nothing.”

“Bullshit, Jinyoung.” Jaebum shook his head and when he tried to inch closer to Jinyoung, the latter flinched. “There’s something wrong. Why are you even cowering? I thought we were past this.”

“What?”

“I thought you finally understood that I’m not your enemy. I’m not going to hurt you but then here you are, flinching as if I’m about to hit you. What the fuck? And don’t tell me nothing’s wrong. You’ve been off since you woke up.” Jaebum challenged. He looked pissed and it was unfair to Jinyoung because he had nothing to be upset about. He held the upper hand after all.

“You really think you’re all that, huh?” Jinyoung spat, “You think you’ve done nothing wrong?”

“Is this about the kiss?” Jaebum said in disbelief. “It’s just a kiss, Jinyoung. Nothing even happened. What are you so mad about?”

Jinyoung clutched at his pants, “It’s not just that. The whole thing, it’s-” Jinyoung would not admit to being embarrassed. Besides, more than the embarrassment, he was irked and annoyed at Jaebum’s sheer insensitivity. “It was my first.”

“So? We were both drunk, you more so than me.” Jaebum shook his head, “It’s nothing you should be worried about. I would not touch you like that, so stop with the attitude.”

Those were the words that Jinyoung dreaded to hear. So that was it, huh? Jaebum really did not want him in anyway. How could he when Jinyoung had been dirtied by someone else already? It did not even matter that actual intercourse did not happen or that it was not Jinyoung’s fault – at all.

“I hate you,” was all Jinyoung said. He could not deal with Jaebum anymore. Maybe when he had slept the feeling of being a reject off; maybe when he had shoved it deep under his consciousness; maybe when he was not disappointed at Jaebum anymore. Maybe then, he would finally be able to accept Jaebum again. But not now – not as of the moment when he was hurting so damn much.

 

 

 

Jinyoung was minding his own business in the solace of his room, a book in hand and a cup of tea in another. It was very late into the night but he cannot seem to fall asleep. Hence, he turned to his old companions, books and tea, to lull him to rest.

It had been a full week since Yugyeom’s party and Jinyoung had gotten over it. Well, he would like to think that he did. His feelings of affection for his husband still sat at the bottom of his chest but he had clamped it down. He had made sure that the budding fondness he had with Jaebum would not grow into something _more_ – that it would remain just as that at the depths of his heart.

It helped that Jaebum went back to his usual routine of running the mafia outside of their house. It gave space for Jinyoung to sort out his sentiments. It also helped that Youngjae, Bambam and Yugyeom frequently visited him so he was not left all alone most of the time. Perhaps it was that he had become so used to Jaebum’s presence that he developed feelings for him. Perhaps his feelings were due to proximity and nothing else. Jinyoung reckoned that if they stayed quite far apart from each other, whatever _liking_ he had for Jaebum would fade away.

It frustrated Jinyoung to no end that he could not even enjoy his time alone without his thoughts running back to Jaebum. It appeared that he had his husband in mind at every waking hour. Jinyoung gritted his teeth and clutched the book in his hand tightly, ready to focus his undivided attention to the words and forget all ideas about the famiglia’s Don.

However, his mission was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. Jinyoung jolted from where he sat in his bed, surprised and curious as to who would call him in the dead of the night. The only people who knew of his private number were Jaebum and his inner circle of made men.

He reached for his phone and frowned when Bambam’s name flashed widely on the screen. “Hello, Bamba-”

The made man’s frantic voice cut Jinyoung off, “Jinyoung hyung, Jaebum hyung’s been injured. It’s bad like really really bad. Mark hyung and Jackson hyung are on the way with him. I just thought that you should know.”

Jinyoung was struck silent. _Wait-what?_ He was trying to process what Bambam just told him. Jaebum was injured. No, his husband was _badly_ injured. Jinyoung sucked in a breath – for goodness’ sake, he did not even know that Jaebum was out of the house. It was way past midnight and Jinyoung thought that Jaebum was back home. _Jesus Christ_.

“Hyung, are you there?”

“Yes, yes. But what-” Jinyoung calmed himself, panicking would not get him anywhere. “Thank you for notifying me. I’ll try to see if I can be of any help once they get here. How about you guys? Are you all okay?” Worry laced Jinyoung’s voice. He had gotten sort of fond with the younger mafiosi and he did not want to see them hurt.

“Gyeom is injured but it’s not as bad. Youngjae hyung’s here to patch him up. But Jaebum hyung, he’s really hurt.” Bambam fretted, “I’m so scared.”

The made man sounded so small and fragile, so far from his usual boisterous nature and Jinyoung felt his heart bleed with concern. “Don’t worry, Jaebum won’t die just that. I’ll update you as soon as I can, okay?”

“Thank you, hyung. I have to go now. I need to help Youngjae hyung.” Bambam said before cutting off the line.

Jinyoung let out a slow exhale to compose himself. He got out of his room and padded down the halls. He stayed at the entrance, waiting for the made men to arrive. His mind was working a hundred miles per hour, conjuring up reasons as to what could have happened and giving him images of a severely wounded Jaebum. The amount of worry was driving him insane. Jinyoung had pictured Jaebum as a solid and formidable character; his husband was supposed to be unbreakable. And yet, here JInyoung was, waiting for Jaebum to come home injured.

The front doors opened just as Jinyoung was finishing up counting one to a hundred for the fifth time. His head snapped towards the direction of the door just to find Jaebum slumped in between Mark and Jackson. His husband was on his feet and was walking, Jinyoung took that as a good sign.

“Is he okay?” Jinyoung hurriedly asked as he went over to the three made men.

Jaebum raised his head – _good, he was conscious_ , Jinyoung thought – and frowned at Jinyoung. “You’re supposed to be asleep. It’s late,” Jaebum choked out. His voice sounded to raspy and strained. It also looked like he was having difficulty breathing and that was when Jinyoung finally noticed that his suit was drenched in blood. Shit.

However, before Jinyoung could inquire about his husband’s injuries, Mark turned to him. “It’s actually a good thing you’re awake. You can help. Bring me hot water, will you? A big basin of it.”

Jinyoung nodded and was about to run to prepare for what Mark had said when Jaebum’s voice halted him. “No, don’t. Jinyoung isn’t a servant here. Call a maid to do that.” He coughed up after that and his face paled even more that Jinyoung got terrified.

Jackson groaned, however, “You really ought to shut up, brother. Don’t let me hit you just so you would.” He turned a sharp gaze to Jinyoung, “Hurry, go. We’ll be at this dumbass’ room.”

Jinyoung hastily turned on his feet and ran towards the kitchens. The servants were all asleep already and he did not have the time to wake someone up as Jaebum’s condition was urgent. It did not matter though, Jinyoung will do what he can to help.

 

 

 

The last time Jinyoung was at Jaebum’s room, it was their marriage night and since then, he had not stepped foot into it – until now. Jinyoung stood at the far side of the wall as Mark did the work of patching Jaebum up. Jackson sat beside Jaebum on the bed and berated his brother with so much passion. Never mind that the said brother was shouting in pain as Mark’s forceps dug into his skin.

“Can you do it less painfully?” Jaebum seethed and hissed after Mark dug his forceps deeper into his shoulders.

They had forgone any form of anaesthesia in Jackson’s insistence that Jaebum did not need it. He emphasised that Jaebum deserved to feel every bit of pain for being such a careless and stupid ass. Jinyoung had gathered that Jaebum’s injuries were not as serious as it appeared to be. The blood that soaked his suit was more of the other person’s than his. Mark rehashed what happened: they went to the docks to check their weekly shipment that had gone suspicious – there was a large discrepancy between what was promised to come and what was actually being delivered; they learned that the capo in charge of that specific trade was cheating them off their inventory; everyone got pissed and hell broke loose.

The capo and his footmen retaliated and guns went off. It was easy, they were supposed to end it quickly but Jaebum, being the crazed mobster with a volatile personality that he was, got carried away with torturing the capo – hence the blood that covered Jaebum’s suit. It just happened that amidst the commotion, a footman went unnoticed and fired a gun towards the Don. Jaebum dodged the bullet from hitting any vital organ, fortunately, but it wedged itself on his shoulder.

“No, Mark. Make it as painful as you can. That’s what this fucker deserved.” Jackson ran a shaking hand through his hair in frustration, “You’re such a shit Jaebum. How could you be so careless? You could’ve died back there!”

“Don’t be dramatic. We all get shot, it’s part of the business-” Jaebum hissed and glared at Mark, “Christ, you don’t have to be so harsh. It hurts, damn you.”

“Yeah, I agree with Jackson on this. What you did back there? Fucking stupid.” Mark said through gritted teeth and it was the first time Jinyoung saw the consigliere lose composure. Mark was the rational and practical one of the three, he never lost his calm. But as he frowned and clenched his jaw, it was obvious that he was upset at Jaebum.

“What’s gotten into the both of you?” Jaebum questioned. “It’s just a bullet. It’s not the first time one of you is taking it out of me.”

“Why don’t you get it, asshole?” Jackson scolded, pulling at his hair in utter frustration. “We were so fucking worried. We could have lost our Don. Did you even consider that, huh?”

“It’ll take more than a lowly footman to kill me, you know that.” Jaebum replied nonchalantly and if it was not for Mark’s digging and prodding at his shoulder, Jinyoung swore that Jaebum would have shrugged as well.

“You’re so fucking stupid!” Jackson exclaimed.

Mark threw a scornful look towards Jaebum, “He meant that he could have lost a brother, Jaebum. And I could have lost a dear friend. And Jinyoung?” Mark gestured to where Jinyoung was, who was trying to blend in with the pale yellow wall, “He could have lost a husband. And what then? Did you even consider what would happen to him? He’s gotten so deep in the famiglia by marrying you. I don’t think we can save him from it if you died.”

Mark’s words resonated deep within Jinyoung. It was true. There was no knowing what would happen to him if Jaebum suddenly passed away. He could never go back to being a gang leader’s son. No, he was a property of the mafia already and only God knew what it would do to him if Jaebum died. A chill went down Jinyoung’s spine. It would not be impossible that he would be auctioned off to another mafioso, or even to a made man from _another_ famiglia so long as it would be beneficial.

“You’re all being severely dramatic.” Jaebum said but his tone shifted into something more grim and serious – as if he acknowledged Mark’s words as true. “Jinyoung,” He called to his husband. “It’s very late, go to sleep. There’s no business here for you.”

Jinyoung fidgeted. He wanted to see up to the end of Mark’s ministrations. He wanted to be sure that Jaebum was truly going to be alright. He wanted to stay.

“Wait, I’m finishing up.” Mark said as he raised the forceps with a tiny bullet in between it into the air. He dropped the metal onto the table beside the bed and started cleaning up Jaebum’s wound to prepare for the dressing. “I’ll have to teach you on how to properly clean and replace the dressing. As much as I want this prick to suffer, an infection is at the bottom of my list.”

“I can do it by myself,” Jaebum interrupted. “No need to bother Jinyoung with this nonsense.”

Jackson hit Jaebum in the head, “Shut up. You can’t be trusted on your own.”

Jaebum cocked his head and smirked, “That’s rich coming from you.” He nudged his head towards the direction of Jackson’s leg which, to Jinyoung’s horror, was bleeding as well.

“I said, shut up. It’s just a scratch. Nothing serious unlike your bullet wound. Fuck, Jaebum!”

“You’re overreacting, brother.” Jaebum said as he placed a hand over Jackson’s. His tone had gotten softer, gentler, brotherly. “I’m going to be alright. Stop worrying.”

And it could not be mistaken, Jinyoung saw the tenderness in Jaebum’s eyes as he reassured his brother. There was something so generous in the way Jaebum rubbed circles on Jackson’s hands like he was holding off Jackson’s tears at bay. And maybe he did. Jackson looked so distraught and the tiny gesture seemed to calm him down. _Love_ , that was it. It was love that Jinyoung was witnessing and he felt his heart stutter in his chest.

 

 

 

The days that followed, Jinyoung took it upon himself to actively check on Jaebum’s well being. The Don was being difficult and insisted that he could take care of himself just fine – that he did not need Jinyoung to pester him day in and out.

Under Mark’s strict orders, Jaebum was to be kept in the house for at least a week. The bullet tore through his deltoids and trapezius and he needed proper rest and exercise to be able to use his shoulder properly again. It was only because Jaebum was some sort of an ambidextrous that the injury did not affect his activities of daily living like it would have to a normal person. Still, it was thanks to Jinyoung that the wound was kept clean at all times.

They fell into some kind of routine. Jinyoung would replace Jaebum’s dressing and apply the medications over it after Jaebum had taken his bath every morning. Then he would do the same at night. It definitely hindered Jinyoung’s plan of staying as far away from his husband as he could. Even though he wanted nothing more than to isolate himself in his room, Jackson kept a close monitoring of Jaebum’s condition and would scream at Jinyoung over the phone so much as Jinyoung came a second late in tending to Jaebum’s wound. It was ridiculous but Jinyoung would admit that Jackson’s worry over Jaebum brought them closer together.

It was also not helping his heart that Jaebum had not been an ass to him for the couple of days that had passed. His husband remained hard to read but he also was more _engaging_. He acted like nothing happened to them, no trace or sign of awkwardness. Granted, it had been weeks since the kiss happened but Jinyoung still thought of it everyday – and it had only gotten worse now that Jaebum never left the house.

Jinyoung was currently in Jaebum’s room, cleaning the  wound. It had gotten better as it did not look as ugly as it did a few days ago but it was still very unsightly. It was red and irregular and deep. Jinyoung could only imagine the scar it would leave on Jaebum’s skin. Not that it would matter because Jinyoung learned – or more specifically _saw_ as Jaebum decided to forego any form of shirt due to it being restrictive and just plain hassle to don and doff, much to Jinyoung’s demise – that Jaebum’s body was literally littered with marks and scars. They ranged from raised circles from bullet wounds to long, thin, white lines from blade cuts to irregular scratches that Jinyoung could not make of.

And instead of frightening Jinyoung away, he thought it was art. Every mark spoke of Jaebum’s endeavours – it was a part of him and contributed to who he was. Jaebum’s skin was the canvass and the scars were the proof of his strength. It was ridiculous how Jinyoung found it beautiful.

“I saw the book you were reading yesterday.” Jaebum suddenly spoke that Jinyoung’s immediate reaction was to press on the wound harder than what was necessary. Jaebum hissed and glared at him.

“Sorry, you surprised me.” Jinyoung said, “And what about the book?”

Jaebum sighed and leaned back to the head board, “Youngjae told me that it’s been adapted into a movie. You want to watch it with him? He seemed pretty excited about it.”

Jinyoung was thrown off a bit. It was not the first time Jaebum had acted friendly towards him but it still surprised him whenever it happened. It was weird. “I hope you know that the book I’m reading is an erotica. Do you really want me to see a movie about it with Youngjae?” Jinyoung teased. It was moments like this that Jinyoung forgot that he should keep his feelings at bay. It was dangerous, being friendly with Jaebum opened the door to being _more_ and Jinyoung needed to be careful not to let it be well – more.

“I did not know it was erotica. I ought to reprimand Youngjae from watching it now.” Jaebum frowned. “Where did you even get that? It’s not from my library, I would know.”

“Bambam gifted it to me.” Jinyoung replied sheepishly.

“That brat.” Jaebum clicked his tongue and cocked his head, “Well, was it good?”

Jinyoung felt his face grow hotter. How should he respond to a question like that? “I don’t know what you mean by good.”

Jaebum raised a handsome brow, “I meant, does it warrant having a movie?”

Jinyoung blushed harder. It was beyond him why Jaebum was inquiring about it so much. “I really don’t know. It’s _erotica_ , I don’t know how to judge it.”

“You’re weird,” Jaebum gave him an indecipherable look. “It’s like any other book. Did it make you feel something?”

Now, Jinyoung was definitely red to the tips of his ears. What answer could he give that would not involve him getting turned on? Of course, it was erotica – what other emotion could he get from that? Jaebum was being ridiculous.

Jaebum chuckled, “You’re thinking too much about it.”

It was weird but Jaebum was definitely making fun of him. And it was not good for his heart. Jinyoung huffed and finished applying the new dressing on Jaebum’s shoulder. “There, I’m done. I’ll leave now.”

“You’re not fun, Jinyoung.” Jaebum shook his head and Jinyoung was aghast.

“What do you know of being fun? You’re always pissed about something.”

Jaebum looked at him funny, “Well, it’s like he knows me already.”

“What are you on? Did Mark drug you or something? You sound like Jackson.” Jinyoung inquired confusedly. Yes, he was definitely confused.

“I’m just trying to make small talk. Jackson said it would do us both good if we sort out this weird tension.” Jaebum said gesturing to the air as if trying to shoo away the tension that indeed blanketed them. “He said you’re being aversive again. Are you, Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung gulped at Jaebum’s question and cursed Jackson for meddling in their affairs. However, Jinyoung could not just lay everything down in front of Jaebum, could he? It would create more awkwardness and dead space between them. They were slowly getting back to their growing friendship, at least to Jinyoung. He did not know how Jaebum saw all of this, how he thought of their relationship. For all Jinyoung knew, Jaebum could be thinking of ways to manipulate him to his will.

“At first, I was but not now.” Jinyoung admitted, “I’m tending to you, am I not?”

Jaebum appeared to ponder Jinyoung’s reply and took a few seconds to give his own. “I don’t get you.”

Jinyoung chuckled, “And I don’t get you too.” It was really how it was. They did not understand each other, at least not yet. “But I hope we will someday.”

Jaebum sighed and Jinyoung proceeded to walk towards the door. He did not have any business left in Jaebum’s room after all.

Just as he was closing the door, however, Jaebum called after. “I already bought the tickets to the movie. They’re with Youngjae. Go see it with him and give me a review after.”

Jinyoung blushed from head to foot and he slammed the door shut, harder than what was warranted to drown the sound of his beating heart.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so denial, denial, and lots of denial!  
> Jinyoung's really getting over his head and drawing up conclusions left and right. But can we blame him tho? Jaebum is so cryptic, we don't know what goes on in that beautiful head of his :D
> 
> I finally got to upload a chapter in due time. thanks to my constant cancellation of classes lmao  
> so, tell me what you think yeah?  
> drop in the comments your thoughts or talk to me at [cc](https://curiouscat.me/crudescere)  
> Thank you very much!


	10. Chapter 10

X

 

Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum

(Therefore he who desires peace, let him prepare war)

\- Epitoma Rei Militaris Book 3, Vegetius

 

 

Jaebum could not remember a time where he laid injured in bed while Jackson sat by his side and took care of him. It was always the other way around – Jackson was the one prone to having injuries and Jaebum was the brother that tended. Jaebum could still recount the memory of Jackson falling off a tree while trying to catch a peculiar bird. He had watched as Jackson slipped off a branch and fell to the hard ground in a crying mess. His brother had fractured a leg at that time. Jackson called for accidents just by breathing alone. It had been like that growing up as kids; it had been like that growing up as mafiosi. That was why their current situation was very amusing to Jaebum. It was a new experience being the one chained to the bed. And having a brother like Jackson, the experience was sure to get extreme.

The underboss stayed at Jaebum’s side, on Jaebum's bed, at every moment that he can. Jaebum could have worried that his brother was neglecting mafia duties but he knew Jackson like the back of his hand. He was sure that his brother had not slept properly since he got injured; he would wage his newest sports car that Jackson spent the night working just so he could visit and bother Jaebum in the day. And even if Jackson denied it, Jaebum noticed the slight sunkenness of his eyes, the dark circles that started to form a bruise under his lids and the almost permanent twitch at his temple. Jackson was going to drive himself sick and Jaebum would not allow it.

What he would allow, however, was this – Jackson taking the space beside him in bed, sliding in under his covers and throwing an arm across Jaebum’s torso. It was almost like they were kids again except that now, Jackson wore a stiff suit and Jaebum was the king to a crime syndicate.

“You know you are making yourself sick, right? You should rest properly, Jackson. Don’t worry about me.” Jaebum said as he laid a hand over the arm Jackson had thrown across him.

Jackson tightened his embrace. “You might do something again that would leave me brotherless and I can’t let that happen.”

Jaebum felt a pang of guilt. Jackson was no stranger to losing a loved one – in fact, he was so familiar with it that suddenly, realisation dawned on Jaebum that him getting shot took a greater toll on Jackson than on everyone else. After all, Jackson lost his whole family to the shots of a gun. Now, Jaebum felt like the universe’s biggest asshole.

“I’m sorry.” Jaebum sighed and he meant it.

Jackson buried his head into Jaebum’s arm as he muttered softly, “You should be. I’m supposed to be the stupid one between us. You can’t take that title from me.”

Jaebum hummed. It felt nice having time alone with Jackson like this. Ever since he became the Don, he did not have the luxury of slowing down. There was always something to be done everyday; there was always something to correct. Being a made man meant the famiglia owned you; being the Don meant twice of that. It was both a burden and a privilege but Jaebum knew that all emperors had it the same and it would take the earth stopping in its axis before he let his empire fall. But for the meantime, he would take what down time he could. Furthermore, he did miss lounging in bed and doing nothing.

“But I meant it, brother. Don’t fall sick. The famiglia cannot afford to have its Don and underboss be useless at the same time.” Jaebum patted Jackson’s arm. “I call dibs this time.”

“Whatever, I need to take care of you anyway.” Jackson pulled back and propped his elbow up so that he could stare down at Jaebum, “Is Jinyoung even doing a proper job?”

Jaebum thought of his husband and sighed, “Of course. Jinyoung does well in everything he does.” Then as if remembering something, he continued, “Speaking of him, where is he and the others? I don’t believe that the kids aren’t here with you.”

“Kids?” Jackson scoffed, “More like monkeys.” He plopped down on the bed again, “Bambam learned that you bought tickets for that adult movie he’s been raving about and had given them to Jinyoung and Youngjae. He dragged everyone down to your theatre room to rewatch it.”

“You mean everyone?” Jaebum groaned when Jackson hummed in affirmation, “Why would he do that at my home?”

“Probably one of his kink to you know, have an orgy at someone else’s house.” Jackson laughed, “He used your account to buy it too. That kid cannot be tamed, brother.”

Jaebum threw and arm over his eyes, “As if you’ve done anything to discipline him.” He continued but this time, in a teasing manner, “Also, I’m amused you’re not there yourself. It’s not like you to miss an orgy session.”

“Hey!” Jackson exclaimed and yanked Jaebum’s arm off his face. It just so happened that it was the injured limb and Jaebum let out a hiss when the force pulled at the healing muscles. “Oh, sorry. Did the wound open?” He said frantically.

“Stop, Jackson. You’re starting to sound like Mark. All he does is nag at me for being so careless.” Jaebum raised a brow, “Is this that thing where you copy the habits of your partner after being with them long enough? Because I swear to God, as much as you’re annoying on your own, I don’t need another Mark.”

It was Jackson’s turn to sigh, “You know it’s not like that.  We’re not like that.”

Jaebum frowned, “You’re fighting again? Jackson, I don’t like seeing you like this. And Mark is my friend too. I don’t want the two of you fighting. Not just for the sake of the famiglia but because you’re both dear to me.”

“You think I’m not trying? It’s just so hard. You know what Mark has been through. I need to be patient but he’s not making anything easy for me. I wish we could be like you and Jinyoung.” Jackson confessed much to Jaebum’s surprise.

Jaebum’s frown deepened. There was nothing between him and Jinyoung – his husband seemed adamant on keeping him at arm’s length. Not that Jaebum was happy about it because truth be told, it frustrated him.

“Me and Jinyoung? What is there to envy? You’re having more relationship with Mark than I have with Jinyoung.”

“What?” Jackson’s eyes widened, “Jaebum, it’s been months! Don’t tell me you haven’t wooed Jinyoung’s heart yet.” He shook his head, “Oh no, no, no. Brother, you can’t do this. If mother learns that you’re not happy with your marriage, she’ll flip.”

Jaebum sighed, “Technically, she can’t do anything about it. There’s no divorce in the famiglia, you know that. And even if she means well for me, she can’t just give a hit order on Jinyoung. I know she won’t. Mom is not crazy, Jackson.” Then ever so slowly, a smirk made its way on Jaebum’s lips, “Also, who’s to say I’m not happy?”

Jackson sucked in a breath and jolted to a sitting position. He narrowed his eyes at his brother, “You like him, don’t you? I know you, brother. You can’t lie to me.”

Jaebum’s smirk turned into a smile, “He fights me, Jackson. He doesn’t listen to what I say.”

And that was true. It might seem that Jinyoung was the one initiating friendship, the one who was actively trying to forge a bond with Jaebum. However, it was also him who backed away when it came to the little things that mattered. Jinyoung talked to him about books, asked personal questions about him, tended to his wounds. But Jinyoung also flinched when Jaebum leaned closer, froze when Jaebum dug deeper and cried when Jaebum pushed harder. It did not mean that Jaebum had no walls that protected him from _feelings_ but Jinyoung’s was solid concrete and was thicker, higher than that of the Don’s. Jaebum felt like they were playing a game with no rules. He just did not get what was going on in his husband’s mind.

“Jesus Christ, are you crazy? _That_ is why you like him? Because he disobeys you?” Jackson shook his head in disbelief, “You’re way sick in the head than I thought you were, brother. And they say I’m the one with a loose screw? Ha! Wait till they learn how kinky you are.”

“No one will learn anything.” Jaebum reprimanded, “You will not speak of this to anyone else, Jackson. Do you understand?”

Jackson glared at his brother but nodded nonetheless. After all, Jaebum had not interfered with his relationship with Mark. He gave Jackson respect and that was the least the latter could do, to give the same respect back. It was not his battle to fight.

“Also, can you name a single person who defies me? And no, don’t include yourself. You don’t count.” Jaebum let a small smile adorn his face, “There isn’t anyone, is there? I like him because he amuses me, brother. That doesn’t mean I’ll automatically fall in love. That’s ridiculous.”

Jaebum’s thought went to that drunken kiss they shared. He was not going to lie, Jinyoung looked beautiful that night. Well, Jinyoung had always been beautiful to Jaebum’s eyes, even from the very beginning where the only thing Jaebum had in hand was a bond paper sized photo of him. However, that night where Jinyoung was drunk off his ass and cried on Jaebum’s shoulder – that made Jaebum feel some sort of overwhelming protectiveness. He was aware that he did not know how to manage someone crying. After all, no one cried in the mafia; even until a mafioso’s dying breath, he did not cry. So, Jinyoung’s tears would always be unchartered territory. Jaebum had gotten confused and panicked for making Jinyoung cry during the night of their wedding but that drunken night – the way Jinyoung sought after him for comfort, it made Jaebum furious, it made him want to kill whoever made his husband cry.

But what striked Jaebum’s sentiments that night was the way Jinyoung looked very vulnerable. His husband appeared so fragile and weak, as if one hard shove from Jaebum would make him crumble and _break_ – and even in tears, Jinyoung was so gorgeous.

It enchanted Jaebum.

That was what doused Jaebum back to the reality. It was as if iced water was suddenly poured over his head to cool his senses. Jinyoung was laid pliantly underneath him that night like a prey and it took all of Jaebum’s willpower to withdraw. Hyejin and Seongwoo would kill him if he took advantage of Jinyoung in that state. And he would never. Jaebum knew that Jinyoung had been hurt enough.

“It’s not ridiculous, you wouldn’t be able to help it. If you fall in love then that’s it,” Jackson reasoned out. “Though I can sense a wee bit of a problem.”

Jaebum turned his gaze on the ceiling and his smile dropped, “Let me guess, it’s got to do with Jihyun coming back?”

“You know she loves you, Jaebum. And I bet she’s not gonna like it that you’re married now.”

Jaebum knew there was no arguing with what his brother had said. It did not please him that they bumped into Jihyun’s sister back at Yugyeom’s party and that she delivered the news of her sister coming back to South Korea. It would definitely be a pain in the ass. Jaebum could already feel a headache coming.

“Well, she can’t do anything about it. It’s not like I actually dated her or made any promises. She knows how I feel. Nothing.”

Jackson frowned, “But the thing is, you’re not like me. I’m not trying to make myself look like a jerk but you don’t sleep around, Jaebum.” Jackson winced at how bad that made him appear but that was the truth. “Call me a fucker but that’s the difference between us. The people I sleep with know that I only _use_ them. But you, you’ve only slept with Jihyun for a whole year and that made her think she meant something to you. She’s crazy, Jaebum and she will do crazy things when she gets here.”

Jaebum sighed. He was aware of what was bound to happen. “Well, as long as she only goes after me, it’s not really going to be much of a problem. I can handle her. Now, to a different topic. I don’t want to talk about her.”

“Oh well, once she sees Jinyoung maybe she’ll back down. I mean, your husband is really hot. I guess I know where your _amusement_ of him comes from.” Jackson mocked, “If only I wasn’t in deep shit with Mark.”

“You’ll what, huh?” Jaebum challenged. “You’ll do what, brother?”

Jackson raised a mischievous brow and smirked at his brother. “You think he would like a less brooding and angry man for a lover?”

Jaebum tackled Jackson and they ended up scuffling on the bed, just like they were kids all over again. Of course, Jackson avoided hitting Jaebum’s injured shoulder but aside from that, it was full on brawling – with lots of laughters and dirty tricks. And with Jaebum’s handicap, Jackson triumphantly overpowered the Don as he straddled his brother and pinned him underneath. The grins they wore were so wide and full of mirth that when the door opened, it went unnoticed until the intruder spoke aloud.

“Am I interrupting something?” Mark asked, “I hope you’re not doing something incestuous. I know it’s not written in the rules and there’s technicalities but please, that’s disgusting.”

The brothers whipped their head towards the door where Mark stood with his arms crossed and behind him, Jinyoung peered with a very red face – obviously from witnessing his husband and brother-in-law in a very compromising position.

Jackson hastily clambered away from Jaebum, “It’s not what you think it is.”

“Yeah, that’s what they all say. Have you even thought about Jinyoung? I never thought I’d be best friends with an adulterer and a home wrecker.” Mark chided. “I guess you love each other that much, huh?”

Jackson panicked and Jaebum groaned loudly as he sat up, “Shut up, Mark. Why are you even here?” He then turned and snapped at Jackson, “And you, stop fidgeting. You’re making it look like we actually did something. Gross, brother.”

“The movie’s done and Bambam and Yugyeom started getting handsy at each other. I took the liberty of sparing Jinyoung’s innocence.” Mark shrugged and entered the room. He sat on the edge of Jaebum’s bed, beside Jackson, “Youngjae fell asleep and he wouldn’t wake up so we just left him there.”

“You mean, you left Youngjae there while Bam and Yugyeom-” Jaebum’s face contorted as if he was in pain, “Oh god. What the fuck, Mark?”

Jinyoung interrupted, “Uhm, I can go back and get him?”

Jackson burst out laughing. He wiggled his eyebrows at Jinyoung, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Those two can be traumatising.”

“Don’t even think about it, Jinyoung.” Jaebum sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I guess Youngjae just has to sleep through it or else, I don’t think he’d like why he would see.”

Mark started laughing quietly, the way he always did, while Jinyoung still hovered by the entrance and Jaebum frowned at him. He did not understand why his husband was so wary of him when he was so amicable towards everyone else. Hell, he just watched an erotica with Jaebum’s closest friends. Why was Jinyoung putting so much space in between them? It was like they were dancing around each other: one step forward, two steps back.

 

—————

 

Jinyoung sat by the chair across Jaebum’s bed and waited for his husband to finish his morning shower. The wound was almost healed now and soon enough, Jinyoung would not need to apply ointments and change the dressing to it anymore. It brought about conflicting emotions to Jinyoung – he was both relieved and saddened. He knew where the sense of relief came from but the sadness, that was something that bothered Jinyoung. There was nothing to be sad about the fact that perhaps, the routine that they had established and had fallen comfortable with was going to end soon.

His self introspection was cut short when Jaebum emerged from the en suite bathroom shirtless. Jinyoung was not a superficial person – he appreciated good looks and attractiveness, of course, but he did not let those weigh much on his mind. It was just physical appearance and it faded overtime. However, Jaebum was still a sight to behold. No matter how many times he had seen his husband shirtless, it never failed to make him draw in a slow breath. Jaebum was already gorgeous in a suit, but without it – he was captivating.

Nevertheless, Jinyoung brushed his awe and composed himself. There was no need to ogle his husband. He was not a dumb teenager who drooled over over bad boys. He had already been singed and damn if he would let himself be burned by the flame that Jaebum was. He would keep things platonic and safe. Yes, that was what was best for them.

Jaebum sat on the bed and Jinyoung started applying the balms Mark told him to put. Like every mornings now, comfortable silence enveloped them. They had progressed quite well, Jinyoung thought. As long as he could keep the thrumming of his blood whenever Jaebum looked at him at bay, they were going to progress fine.

Jaebum spoke, “Do you have plans after breakfast?”

Jinyoung pretended to think about it. However, it was obvious that there was none. He had nothing to do aside from read and sleep. “You know I don’t do anything here.”

Jaebum hummed for a bit and then said, “You see, Youngjae told me something.”

Jinyoung pursed his lips and thought of anything that he had said to the younger made man. There was nothing worth mentioning, however. “What is it?”

“He said you are interested in playing the piano.”

Jinyoung stopped midway in applying the bandage over Jaebum’s shoulder. He looked at Jaebum with curiosity and wonder, “I am. I’ve been wanting to learn it for years now. Can I sign up for a lesson? Or if you don’t want other people coming into the house, can I ask Youngjae to teach me? I promise he won’t skip his duties to you. Only whenever he’s free.” He said in a rush, hoping that Jaebum would be kind enough to grant his wish.

“I don’t think that would be necessary,” Jaebum started and continued when Jinyoung frowned like he was about to protest. “I can teach you, you know. I’m the one that taught Youngjae, after all.”

 Jinyoung was surprised. His husband really had the knack of catching him off guard. “You’ll teach me?”

“How many times should I tell you not to repeat my words? It really makes you look stupid.” Jaebum clicked his tongue. “So what do you think about it?”

Jinyoung was skeptic about it. Sure, he was curious to see how Jaebum actually played the instrument and if he was as amazing as Youngjae raved him out to be, then that would be great and all. However, Jaebum’s temperament was something he was familiar with now and he knew that unlike the sparring sessions wherein his husband just threw him around, this time if Jaebum would be frustrated – how would he _discipline_ Jinyoung? He narrowed his eyes at Jaebum and said, “You’re just looking for ways to belittle me, huh? Is that what this is all about?”

“What are you on about now?” Jaebum frowned, “Bambam’s not supplying you with drugs, is he?”

“What? No, of course, not.” Jinyoung exclaimed. “This is just too sudden. I didn’t peg you for the teaching kind. The self-defense and shooting were one thing but this – this is music, Jaebum. Why are you keen on this?”

“Is it so unbelievable that I just want to teach you?” Jaebum scowled, looking like he was getting annoyed at Jinyoung for questioning his motives. “I have been doing nothing for a week now and I’m fucking done with just lying in bed and sleeping. And it’s been some time since I last visited the music room so I thought about what Youngjae said. Now, do you want to or not?” Jaebum looked pointedly at Jinyoung, making it as if the offer only stood for that very moment – as if Jaebum would not offer again.

“Fine,” Jinyoung huffed and resumed finishing the bandage on Jaebum’s shoulder. “But try to tone the attitude down. I don’t want to associate the piano with your sour behaviour.”

And it might be a figment of Jinyoung’s imagination. It must be because there was no way that he had actually seen that. But he swore, he saw the corner of Jaebum’s mouth turn up to form a smirk.

 

 

Jinyoung’s mouth dropped in pure amazement. Youngjae was right, Jaebum was a god in playing the piano. And no, he was not exaggerating. Jaebum was literally playing like he was a born musician instead of a cold-hearted killer and Jinyoung could only stand beside him in awe. Jaebum had his eyes closed too – the notes came naturally and every press of his fingers on the key made Jinyoung wonder. Who was this man before him? Gentle and soft music bled from his husband’s fingertips, the same fingers that pulled the trigger. Jaebum appeared to be in his element, just as comfortable as he was being a made man. The stark difference blew Jinyoung away.

Jaebum opened his eyes and turned to Jinyoung.  “I’m good, aren’t I?” He said with an arrogant smirk.

And of course, Jinyoung pretended that he was not impressed. “You’re too smug for your own good.” He rolled his eyes.

Jaebum clicked his tongue, “Another rule, husband, do not roll your eyes at me. I’m already going lenient on you but I won’t tolerate eye rolling.”

“Whatever,” Jinyoung quipped. He was used to Jaebum throwing around rules for him to follow – the man was a controlling freak. Not that Jinyoung tried hard to follow his husband’s rules. It might not be a good idea but so far, he had only scolded Jinyoung for disobeying. He mused that Jaebum was not inclined on actually hurting him and as ironic as it might be, he felt safe around him.

“Come here,” Jaebum scooted a bit to the side of the piano bench and patted the now vacant space. “Let’s start off with teaching you how to read notes.”

Jinyoung sat beside Jaebum and listened intently as his husband lectured on how to read a musical score. It was pretty easy at first, knowing which keys represent each note – it only took great concentration to keep up with the flow of it. Nevertheless, it was manageable and Jinyoung was enjoying every bit of it. Until Jaebum introduced the sharps and the flats, the staccatos and legatos, the crescendos and decrescendos – Jinyoung lost track of keeping up, his fingers jumbled in on their own.

“No, Jinyoung. That’s not it. Have you been listening to me? That’s a fermata, that means you have to hold it, give emphasis.” Jaebum ran a hand through his hair. “We’ve been at that coda for two hours now. Two fucking hours.”

Jinyoung scowled, blood dangerously simmering in his veins. It was not his fault that Jaebum would not be still and let him work on easier pieces. His husband seemed to expect him to be a genius all of a sudden. “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m not a genius like you. How about you shut it and let me work on my own pace, huh?”

“What did you say?” Jaebum narrowed his eyes. “What did you fucking say to me?”

Here they go again. It appeared like they could not hold a civil conversation for more than ten minutes without someone snapping. No matter who started, it would always, always blow up.

“I said, let me do it on my own pace.” Jinyoung said under his breath, controlling his temper from flaring up. “This is literally my first time playing a piano. Please do not make it a horrible experience.”

Jaebum stared at him hard and for a moment, Jinyoung coiled up – he readied himself just in case Jaebum started becoming really violent. Not that Jaebum actually had been violent to him at any point – still, Jinyoung thought that there was no loss in preparing. No one knew what goes on in the Don’s head after all. But his husband only let out a harsh exhale and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Alright, okay.” Jaebum muttered. “Let’s go again from the top.”

Something tugged at Jinyoung’s chest. Moments like this made the feelings he clamped in the depths of his heart rise. It would never fail to make his heart stutter whenever Jaebum gave way, even if a little, to him. His husband never backed down but sometimes, some instances, he saw reason and did for Jinyoung.

They resumed playing, and whenever Jinyoung made a mistake, Jaebum would start opening his mouth to berate him – but a sharp look from Jinyoung and Jaebum would swallow down whatever sermon he had. It went on for another hour, with Jinyoung making more mistakes than Jaebum would have liked and Jaebum frowning while he brood over Jinyoung’s errors. It even came to a point where Jinyoung would purposefully slip his finger just the wrong way to press on the wrong key – all just to hear his husband exhale sharply in dissatisfaction. It was the most fun Jinyoung had with his husband, even more so than the self-defense sessions they had before. Because this time made an illusion that they were just two normal individuals bonding over music.

Eventually, Jinyoung had gotten enough of the piano. “I think that’s enough lesson for a day. My fingers hurt.”

Jaebum shook his head and sighed heavily, “What lesson? You didn’t do shit. That was not how you play the piano, Jinyoung. You’re absolutely terrible. If only you listened to me.”

“All you do is chastise me. At least, I had fun.” Jinyoung slyly smiled.

Jaebum’s jaw clenched and he squinted at Jinyoung, “You deliberately made mistakes, didn’t you?” He closed his eyes and when he opened them again, Jinyoung saw something he could not identify. There was a glint of _something_ in Jaebum’s orbs that made Jinyoung giddy.

Jinyoung did not know what his husband felt but one thing was for sure – Jaebum was not mad and that made him giddy.

 

 

It was a relatively normal day. It was also the last day of Mark’s strictly imposed house arrest on Jaebum. The Don’s wound was now healing nicely and did not need any bandages anymore. And the moment Jaebum started wearing shirts again, Jinyoung would not admit to feeling a little bit deprived. Because that was ridiculous – Jinyoung absolutely did not miss seeing Jaebum’s bare torso.

It was supposed to be a pretty unremarkable day where Jinyoung planned on spending all of his time reading away the piles of books he had neglected since he started caring for Jaebum. However, when he got to the library, Jinyoung was surprised to see his husband on the couch with a book in hand.

Jinyoung was aware that Jaebum liked reading too. It was hard not to notice when the house boasted a majestic library with a wide array of book selections. Also, his husband had slipped in comments about literature and even quoted lines at him for many times. But he had not seen Jaebum actually read a book and the image gave Jinyoung another perspective on his husband’s many facets.

The Don looked up, probably hearing the library door open and close. “You’re staring.”

“You’re reading.” Jinyoung stupidly said and he winced internally knowing the chiding that will follow.

“And you’re stating the obvious. Must you always reply dumbly?” Jaebum raised a brow but this time, Jinyoung knew his husband was only kidding him. Jinyoung had finally developed the skill to notice when Jaebum was only pulling his leg and when he was actually mad about something.

So Jinyoung quipped, “I’m not being dumb. I’m just surprised you know how to read, that’s all. I thought being made meant all muscles and brawns. You know,” He tapped at his temple with an index finger, “Less brains.”

“You’re becoming bolder and bolder, husband.” Jaebum patted the empty space on the couch and beckoned Jinyoung to sit beside him, “You must be hanging around with Jackson and picking up his disrespectful attitude.”

“I don’t need Jackson to go up to you.” Jinyoung replied as he picked a random book from his pile on the oak table and proceeded to sit beside his husband. “Anyways, what are you reading?”

Jinyoung peered under Jaebum’s hands to see the cover of the novel and his face lit up in an instant to a bright shade of crimson. He exclaimed, “Why are you reading that?”

Jaebum have him a funny look, “What’s the deal?”

Jinyoung spluttered and his brain froze for a moment. “Tha-that’s an erotica, Jaebum! Where did you even get that?”

“I am very aware that this is an erotica, Jinyoung. I’m more than halfway to it as you can see,” Jaebum said in a no nonsense tone. “And I got it from Bambam. He said he didn’t want to leave me out of the fun.”

Jinyoung ran out of words to say. How could Jaebum sit so cozily in his pressed suit while reading a full-blown erotica with a straight face? It was impossible. Jinyoung even had to stop for some scenes and breathe in while he was reading it. But here his husband was, talking about it aloud like it was the daily newspaper.

“It’s really interesting too,” Jaebum started and the way his tone shifted to something lighter, Jinyoung knew he was in trouble. “Why didn’t you tell me it was good? I asked you for a review.”

Jinyoung scowled and hissed, “How can I possibly tell you that?”

Jaebum cocked his head to the side and smirked. Jinyoung missed the times when Jaebum would only throw him scowls and disdainful looks because that was way better than this. Jaebum still gave him those expressions but he had also started being blatantly arrogant and cocky towards Jinyoung and the latter wanted so badly to slap the smirk that seemed to adorn his husband’s face for the past days.

“What’s the matter? Don’t tell me you’re embarrassed.”

“Of course, I am!” Jinyoung replied heatedly. “You don’t just share information like that.”

Jaebum hummed, “Jackson would disagree with you. He tells me all his escapades in great detail.”

Jinyoung made a disgusted face. He did not have to know that. He did not want the image of Jackson in any compromising position. “Disgusting,” he replied.

Jaebum closed the book and he put it down. And then much to Jinyoung’s demise, he leaned in and threw an arm across the back of the couch, behind Jinyoung. His tone dropped an octave too, “Aren’t you curious about it though? Don’t you want to know how accurate this book is?”

Jinyoung instantly pushed Jaebum away, “Get the hell away from me.” He hissed, trying all his might to calm himself down. “What was that for?”

Jaebum had the audacity to chuckle in response, “I just wanted to see how brave you’ve gotten. It’s not much though.”

“I really hate you,” Jinyoung spat. “You’re such an arrogant prick. What the fuck, Jaebum?”

Jaebum shrugged and it was obvious that he knew what he was doing, he knew that he was messing up Jinyoung’s head. “I think it’s the first time I heard you curse. And I’m not one to reprimand you for it but please, avoid cursing at _me._ I don’t like it.”

Jinyoung threw his hands up in despair, “You’re impossible, you know that? I can’t deal with you.”

It was the truth. Jaebum flipped moods like a light switch. One moment, he was scowling then the next, he would be smirking – Jinyoung could never tell how their conversation would end up. His husband was so mercurial that it confused Jinyoung so damned much.

 

 

Having the house all to himself again was boring. Jinyoung did not know how he managed to survive a day before all alone. Jaebum was back to being an active Don to the famiglia and with his return, he made sure that all of his men worked like they did – with all their hearts and mind into it.

That was why he had received a call earlier from Youngjae. The made man complained to him that Jaebum was driving everyone crazy. He said that Jaebum was punishing everyone who had slacked off during his absence. The Don made sure that every little mistake was criticised and every bit of mediocrity went unnoticed. According to Youngjae, it was like Jaebum returned to the famiglia ten times worse than he was. His fuse had gotten shorter that a teeny tiny bit of something out of place would set his temper to blow up. Everyone was scared.

Jinyoung only laughed at that. He told Youngjae that Jaebum was just probably letting all the pissy attitude that piled up inside him while he was under house arrest out. And Jinyoung really thought that was it. He knew Jaebum enough by now to know that his husband enjoyed giving hell just for the sake of it. Jinyoung had been at the end of Jaebum’s power tripping agenda many times to recognise the signs. His husband was having fun bullying the mafia.

Jinyoung assured Youngjae that no, Jaebum had not fallen mentally ill. And no, Jaebum was not replaced by an evil twin. Jinyoung reasoned out to the made man that Jaebum was already mentally ill and evil to begin with so his arguments were moot. And when Youngjae whined at Jinyoung’s joking manner, the latter reassured him that his husband was just going through a phase. Jaebum will get over the power rush soon and he would probably be back to the stoic and distant Don that he was in no time.

Jinyoung had also received a call from Bambam accusing him of hurting Jaebum to the point that his husband was venting the pain out to the famiglia. Jinyoung swore to all deities, Bambam had the most colourful mind in all of South Korea, maybe even in the whole world. The young man claimed that he was withholding sex and that was the reason why Jaebum was running on a short fuse. Jinyoung could not believe that out of all probable reasons, Bambam chose that. The made man did not even wait for Jinyoung to explain. He had hissed that he hated Jinyoung for making his life difficult by giving Jaebum blue balls and then he hung up.

Those two calls were the highlight of Jinyoung’s morning. And now, it was already afternoon and he could not find a way to waste any more of his time. He had ran out of things to do. He had spent the majority of the morning practicing the piano and then reading. But even those did not amuse him as he would have liked. Jinyoung was dead bored.

He had finally given up and decided that he would just sleep the remaining hours of the day off. Jinyoung was well on his way towards his bedroom when a servant came running towards him holding the house phone.

“Sir, it’s the security guards. Someone is at the gate and wanted to see the Don. She wouldn’t leave even if the security said that the Don isn’t here and she isn’t allowed to enter.”

Jinyoung frowned. Who could it be? He felt alarmed, “Have you called Jaebum?”

The servant nodded, “Yes, but we only have the number to his business phone and he won’t pick up our calls.”

Jinyoung asked,” Well, did she say who she was?”

“Lee Jihyun, sir.” The servant replied.

 _Huh._ Jinyoung did not know any Jihyun. He decided to call his husband. “I suppose she decided to camp outside?” The servant nodded and Jinyoung’s alarm went up another notch. Who was this girl and why was she outside their house? “Wait, I’ll call Jaebum to see what’s the matter.”

Jinyoung quickly dialled Jaebum’s number and waited for his husband to pick up. The line connected after the first ring and before Jinyoung could say a word, Jaebum beat him to it.

“Jinyoung? Why are you calling? Is everything alright?”

Jinyoung smiled. His husband sounded panicked and it was enough for Jinyoung to know that he was worried. After all, the last time Jinyoung called, he almost died.

“Calm down, Jaebum. Nothing’s wrong. Well, perhaps aside from a very adamant visitor.”

Jinyoung heard shuffling on Jaebum end and then silence. His husband must have sat on a chair. “Visitor, you say? At the house? Who is it?”

“I don’t know. Some lady named Lee Jihyun. The security said she won’t leave until she sees you. Do I let her in?” Jinyoung asked.

Jaebum let a sharp intake of breath and then, “Shit. Don’t, Jinyoung. Whatever you do, do not let that woman in. Let her camp outside, just don’t engage.”

Jinyoung frowned at his husband’s reply. It was not hospitable for Jaebum to just let a visitor stay outside for an indefinite time. “You’ll call her though, right? Tell her to leave since you aren’t home?”

“Yes, Jinyoung.” A screech was heard at the other end of the line and Jinyoung imagined Jaebum standing abruptly from his seat. “Just don’t open the doors to her, okay? Stay inside the house.”

Jinyoung’s nerves spiked and his pulse quickened. “Should I be worried?”

Jaebum sighed, “No, Jinyoung. Don’t worry, you don’t need to be worried. I’ll handle it.”

“Well, I trust you since you haven’t lied to me. I’m hanging up now.” Jinyoung said and then he cut off the call. He turned to the servant waiting in front of him, “Jaebum said to let her stay there. Don’t open the gates, don’t let her in. Okay?”

The servant gave one final nod before hurrying off, probably towards security to relay the order.

Jinyoung could not help but wonder though. Who was Lee Jihyun and what did she want from Jaebum? It was safe to say that Jinyoung was not able to sleep a wink that afternoon.

 

 

His curiosity did not allow Jinyoung to do anything until night fell. He stayed in his room, laid on his bed, and thought about who Lee Jinhyun might be. Jaebum sounded annoyed at the phone, like the woman’s name was the last name he wanted to hear. And that triggered Jinyoung’s nosy personality.

Women functioned in a different circle from the famiglia. In the Cosa Nostra, they were respected and held much importance but still, they ran on the flip side to the mafiosi. They were not treated as commodities for trade in Jaebum’s famiglia – unlike how his father and other mafia families did. Women like Hyejin wielded power too and they kept the made men on their toes and prevented them from slipping into insanity. Hyejin had told Jinyoung once that their duty was to ground the men. Never mind that Jinyoung was not a female, Hyejin said that it made him more capable than any woman could be. She gave him a proud smile while saying that she could not ask for a better partner to Jaebum. At that time, Jinyoung scoffed – he did now too – because Jaebum could perfectly stand on his own. The Don had no need for anyone else.

However, Jinyoung was interested in knowing who this Jihyun was. He had not been introduced to any women aside from Jaebum’s mother. So really, who was this lady that was insistent on seeing his husband? What business could she have with Jaebum?

Jinyoung pulled out his phone and sent a quick message to Youngjae. Surely, the man must have been done with his mafia duties as it was already dark outside.

Before a reply came through his phone, however, there was knock at his door and then Jaebum came into view. Jinyoung sat right up, wondering why Jaebum was paying him a visit.

“You need something?”

“I think it’s you who needs something,” Jaebum replied and walked towards the edge of Jinyoung’s bed. “Can I sit?”

Jinyoung nodded and put the pillow onto his lap to lean on. “What is it?”

“I know you’re curious about Jihyun and I prefer that you get the explanation from me and not from anyone else because it might complicate things.” Jaebum said much to Jinyoung’s delight.

If there was one thing Jinyoung could count on Jaebum, it was his straightforwardness and utter honesty. Well, perhaps when it came to things unrelated to their relationship. Because that was still a mystery – Jinyoung still did not know how his husband viewed him.

“Okay, you’re right. I’m curious. Who’s Lee Jihyun and why was she dead set on camping outside our house just to see you? Can’t you like, meet somewhere else?”

“You’re really eager, huh?” Jaebum chuckled for a moment and then his whole demeanour changed into something more distant, professional. “Jihyun went here because I refused to see her anywhere else.”

Jinyoung took that in and suspicion settled its way into his stomach. “Why wouldn’t you want to meet her? She can’t possibly affect the famiglia that much. Unless, she’s-” Jinyoung hesitated. “Unless, she’s your girlfriend.”

Jaebum threw a sharp look at Jinyoung. “No, she’s not my girlfriend. You know I’m married to you.”

“I know that. What I meant was, is she your ex?” Jinyoung huffed. He did not know why but something about Jaebum having an actual relationship aside from him, not that whatever they were could be considered a relationship, unsettled him.

“No, she’s not my ex.” Jaebum replied with nonchalance and that ruffled Jinyoung’s feathers.

“Then who is she? Why aren’t you giving me clear answers.” Jinyoung frowned.

“She’s Bang Youngguk’s cousin, you know him? He’s the Don of the famiglia that runs the territories beside us.” Jaebum continued, “And I have slept with her on many occasions before she left for Italy to study.”

“And now she’s back.” Jinyoung muttered under his breath, confused by Jaebum’s explanation. “You said she isn’t your ex? But you’ve slept together? Are you lying to me, Jaebum?”

“Have I ever lied to you?” Jaebum replied pointedly. “No, she isn’t my ex and yes, we’ve slept together. People can fuck around, Jinyoung, without having relationships.”

Jinyoung took a sharp inhale at that. Jaebum just sometimes presented himself in the most despicable manner. However, Jinyoung did not have the right to be affected. So what if he slept with her? Not a big deal for it was Jinyoung who was married to Jaebum. Then just as quickly the thought came, he immediately shook his head. He berated himself because he should not even be feeling territorial towards his husband in the first place.

“So why is she here then? What does she want from you?” Jinyoung feigned unconcern.

Jaebum shrugged, “I honestly don’t know and I don’t give a shit too. I said no to all her invitations since the last time we saw each other, she caused a scene. And I don’t want a repeat of that.”

Jinyoung suddenly felt sorry for the girl. She clearly did not deserve the way Jaebum treated her. And as for his husband, Jinyoung doubted that he would ever change. Jaebum was born an asshole and acted proudly on it – but he too could see reason so maybe, “How about you meet her for once? See what she’s got to say. Maybe she just wants to stay friends, you know?”

Jaebum turned towards Jinyoung so that he was facing him full-on and he stared at him with such intensity that Jinyoung worried if his husband could see _through_ him. A beat passed and then another. Jaebum sat there boring a hole through Jinyoung’s skull for a minute, eyes not giving away anything that he could be thinking. Jinyoung was starting to get unnerved by their staring contest. And just when he had enough, Jaebum’s lips ever so slowly upturned into a grin.

“Huh, I did not expect you to say that.” Jaebum cocked his head to the side, “You really do amuse me, Jinyoung.” And with that, Jaebum stood up and walked towards the door. “If you have further questions, do not hesitate to ask me. It’s better that it comes from me than from anyone else, understand?”

Then the door clicked shut and Jinyoung was left alone in his room. There was much to think about. Jinyoung did not want to admit it to himself but the whole thing left him with an uneasy feeling. It was not that he was jealous – he _cannot_ be jealous – but it was also because Jaebum was so nonchalant about it. It really felt like his husband did not feel anything about this Jihyun lady and instead of feeling relieved – he was actually relieved though – Jinyoung felt bad for her too. Jinyoung hoped that she had indeed gotten over Jaebum during her stay overseas and that she only wanted to meet with him as friends, or to rekindle whatever remaining friendship she had with the Don. Jinyoung sighed, he wished the best of luck to the girl because he knew how difficult and stubborn Jaebum could be if he wanted to be.

Jinyoung plopped back down on the bed just as his phone pinged in a message. It was from Youngjae and it read, _Jihyun? As in Lee Jihyun is back? Oh no, hyung. She’s a bitch_.

Jinyoung frowned at that. Perhaps Youngjae was overreacting. The girl might have acted out but that was not unthinkable since Jaebum brought out the worse in everyone. Perhaps she really did feel something for the Don. And perhaps Youngjae was, once again, siding with Jaebum like how he did every time. Surely, Jihyun cannot be that bad.

Jinyoung replied, _She can’t be that bad, Youngjae._

After that, no reply came and sleep finally overtook Jinyoung’s senses. His eyelids became heavy and soon enough, he was fast asleep.

He did not see the message that came in an hour after he slipped into dreamland. Jinyoung slept peacefully while his phone blinked brightly with Youngjae’s reply.

_No, Jinyoung hyung. She’s really crazy. You should be careful around her._

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi people! So more drama huh - well we all want that deep inside.  
> This chapter was the longest and the fastest I've written? Thanks to Jackbum, my fellas. I couldn't resist throwing some brotherly loving and softness because you know those two, even if they act all manly and stuff, they're still humans who have vulnerabilities. And it couldn't really be helped since Jackson and Jaebum only ever had each other since young. They're best friends as much as they are brothers. So yeah, I needed some soft Jackbum.
> 
> So that was it? I hope you enjoyed the update, my friends!!!  
> Drop in the comments what you think :DD  
> Or scream at me at [twitter](https://twitter.com/crudescere) or [cc](https://curiouscat.me/crudescere)  
> I accept all kinds of comments, violent reactions and criticisms :)))


	11. Chapter 11

XI

 

Minimæ vires frangere quassa valent

(The least strength suffices to break what is bruised)

\- Tristia, Book III, 11, 22, Ovid

 

 

Jinyoung cannot calm his nerves down. He paced back and forth in front of his full-length mirror as he brushed at the lapels of his suit. He needed to look perfect, a single hair in disarray would be a big deal and would serve as a reflection of Jaebum and his famiglia. For the life of him, he did not know why he needed to be at an event hosted by the Commission.

Jaebum had sprung the gala on him with only a few hours to prepare, like how he did most of the time. However, this was not a simple gathering like the one they held during Yugyeom’s party or like the lunches they had at the Im manor every Sunday. This was a gathering for every mafiosi in the country – everyone who was made and their families would be there, not just Jaebum’s famiglia. And Jinyoung would attend as Jaebum’s husband, his partner, his counterpart. He would, in a way, represent the Im famiglia.

Jinyoung was aware of how much power the Commission held and it made him more anxious that he would need to face two more sets of Dons, underbosses and consiglieres. Not too mention that one famiglia was not Cosa Nostra. Jinyoung felt an impending anxiety attack.

The door to his room opened and Jaebum stood there, as stone-faced as ever, looking at him. He raked his eyes up and down Jinyoung before giving a nod, as if Jinyoung passed an arbitrary standard for physical appearance.

However, Jaebum said, “Why do you look like you’re about to cry, Jinyoung? It ruins the look.”  He made a gesture towards Jinyoung’s well-put outfit using his hands.

“I’m about to tear my hair off in panic because you thought it was a good idea to inform me about this event at the last minute!” Jinyoung hissed and glared menacingly at his husband who walked behind him, leaning in so close that Jinyoung could smell his perfume.

“What exactly is your problem? You look good.” Jaebum stared at him through his reflection in the mirror.

Jinyoung gulped. His husband’s eyes never lost their intensity and even the mirror did not dull its heavy weight on Jinyoung’s own orbs. It was pure torment for Jinyoung’s wit and sanity.

Jinyoung broke eye contact and focused on the suit he was wearing instead. He wore a black suit that was tailored perfectly to fit him. It had a series of floral designs that lined the front in a v-shape, from his chest upwards to his shoulder. The suit made his shoulder broader, his waist daintier. And the pants – it hugged what curves he had, it made his thighs look just the right amount of slender in proportion to its length. Jinyoung would agree, he did look nice. But that was nothing since he was sure everyone else in the gala would look just as good, if not more so.

His gaze went to his husband who wore a suit with the similar material as him, except that it came with a long coat jacket and the collar was cut up short so that it stood along his husband’s strong and manly throat instead of folding into lapels. The overall clothing made Jaebum’s already broad shoulder broader, and his sturdy chest sturdier. Jaebum was dripping attractiveness and it pained Jinyoung to be associated with the Don. They would attract a lot of attention and he was not keen on socialising with made men again.

Jinyoung jumped when Jaebum’s hands made their way on his waist. He snapped his gaze back towards Jaebum’s in the mirror and his breath hitched at the intensity of his husband’s stare. It was even more fierce and heavy than what it had been just a few seconds ago.

“Enjoy yourself tonight, Jinyoung.” Jaebum breathed into his ear, not breaking eye contact. “I can’t wait to flaunt you off to everyone. And this time, I promise not to leave you on your own. You’re going to be with me all night, _tesoro._ ”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened at the endearment Jaebum used. His heart stopped beating and he knew that he was gone in that moment. There was no coming back from that. The box where he securely stored the seeds of affection towards Jaebum slid open and the roots slithered their way to bury deep into Jinyoung’s chest. _Tesoro_ , Jaebum had called him. It was how the mafiosi called their lovers. Treasure. Jaebum had just called Jinyoung his treasure.

 

 

Jaebum had given Jinyoung a run down, upon the latter’s insistence, on who was important when it came to the other two famiglias. His husband strictly told him to play nice and never talk about mafia business with other made men. Especially to the Bangs. Jaebum had given a specific order that when engaging into conversations, all Jinyoung should give was how happy he had been marrying into the Ims.

That should have provoked Jinyoung to seethe and be disgusted at Jaebum for having been told that he should pretend to enjoy the life of a sold cattle. But Jinyoung was surprised that no feelings as such made its way. It perplexed him so that he was not _angry_ at Jaebum for ordering him that. He mildly thought if this was an early warning sign for a developing Stockholm Syndrome. He desperately hoped that it was not.

Pretending was not even going to be a difficult task because Jinyoung knew his way with words and that it was not far from the truth. He was slowly finding it fun living and spending time with the made men from Jaebum’s famiglia. _Stockholm Syndrome_ , his brain supplied but Jinyoung immediately shook the thoughts away. It would not be good to have a crisis when he was so near at the event.

However, the nervousness he felt did not ebb in any way. Fortunately, it was the Im’s turn to host the gala. At least, Jinyoung was still in Jaebum’s territory so he doubted that the other two famiglias would dare make a ruckus. The event was to showcase the three mafias’ friendship after all – if one could even call what they had friendship. Jinyoung, for one, did not consider it as such. No one killed a _friend_.

They arrived at the hotel where the event was held and Jinyoung readied himself. This was it – he was finally going to see the face of the mafia in all of South Korea. Everyone who was going to be inside are the most notorious and deadliest criminal masterminds of their country.

And Jinyoung did not know what he should have expected – maybe a virgin sacrifice burning at the stake in the middle of the room? He shook his head aggressively, he was spending too much time with Bambam and now the made man had rubbed off Jinyoung with his wild and crazy ideas. Well, Jinyoung _did_ expect some sort of gruesome entertainment in the center of the event – after all, it was a gathering of the most illegal people in the country. What he saw, however, was very normal and customary. It was such a let down that it were a couple of pairs dancing in the middle of the hall that greeted him.

“Why do you look unimpressed?” Jaebum spoke and brought Jinyoung out of his internal monologue. “Was it not as lavish as you thought it would be? Did I fail to make a statement that we’re the strongest famiglia?”

“It’s not that. I just thought that it would be, well, not like this?” Jinyoung surveyed the whole area – he noted the mini-orchestra that supplied the music and the abundant amount of liquor being served in flutes and wine glasses by footmen, the expensive tapestries that hung and decorated the room, “I mean, it looks like a regular elitist gala?”

Jaebum chuckled, “Of course, it is. What did you expect? We are mafiosi, not some thugs on the street unlike your father.”

Jinyoung frowned at the mention of his father. For months that had passed, Jinyoung had forgotten Jintae’s existence. He still hated him for what he did but now, he was curious too. Jintae had used him as a bargaining chip to enter the Ims but where is he now? “He’s not here, is he? I don’t want to see him, Jaebum, if he’s here.”

Jaebum put a hand on the small of Jinyoung’s back and ushered him to walk. “No, Jinyoung. Jintae might be your father but he is what he is, a lowly gangster. He couldn’t enter an event as grand and private as this. This is the mafia.”

Jinyoung felt relieved at that. He really did not want to see Jintae. They continued walking and Jinyoung noticed that as they passed, men and women stopped in their tracks2 to take a look at them. “They’re staring, Jaebum. Why are they staring?”

“Let them. They’re just curious about you.” Jaebum directed them towards a table at the far end of the hall. “Come on, let’s get this show started.”

They approached a group of made men at the table and Jinyoung did not know what was it but he was sure that the man sitting with his legs crossed while holding a champagne flute was a Don – and that the man standing in front of him was also a Don. Jaebum really did go up to the strongest men in the room without warning Jinyoung.

“Im,” the man seated uncrossed his leg to stand up and shake Jaebum’s hand. His voice was deep, deeper than anything Jinyoung has ever heard and it was cold and detached like how a Don’s voice was. He smiled at Jaebum and albeit it was wide and full of gums, it was also eerie and his eyes were definitely unfriendly – as if he was a snake, coiled and ready for Jaebum to make one single mistake before he bites. Jinyoung did not like him in an instant.

“Yongguk,” Jaebum acknowledged. “It’s good to see you.” His voice was clipped and careful. Jinyoung could not help himself and he turned his head to peer up at his husband in question to which Jaebum only squeezed the hand he had at Jinyoung’s waist as a reply – as if offering a sense of reassurance and security which Jinyoung appreciated very much.

“You too, Hyunwoo. You and your famiglia have travelled far. I hope you enjoy the party,” Jaebum turned to the other man who was previously conversing with Yongguk. He continued, “Both of you.”

The other Don was tall and definitely bulkier in build than both Jaebum and Yongguk – although Jinyoung might be biased and say that Jaebum’s shoulders were wider. He was also smiling but unlike Yongguk’s, his smile was genuine and bright; and just like with Youngjae, Jinyoung wondered how an innocent looking man could be a mafioso. “It’s good to see you, Jaebum. Though I’d say not much has changed after you got married.”

Jaebum pulled Jinyoung closer to his side and introduced him to everyone at the table. “This is Jinyoung but I guess you’re already aware of him.”

Jinyoung stiffened when every eyes on the table focused solely at him. It was every bit of uncomfortable and unnerving the way the mafiosi were drilling holes all over his face. He felt the tiniest of nudge from Jaebum and he coughed, clearing his throat from the sudden tightness that had settled. He gave a small bow; it was showtime, “Good evening everyone,” he started with a very pleasant smile. “I’m glad to meet all of you. You’re all very handsome.”

Hyunwoo laughed, “You’ve got a good deal, Jaebum. He knows how to flatter.” The Don then turned towards Jinyoung, “Good evening to you too, Jinyoung-ssi. You’re not so bad yourself.”

Jinyoung prickled at the compliment. He knew that it was just the way the mafia conversed and it was also true how Jinyoung was just a _deal_ – however, it still stung and got under his skin. The smile he had on his face did not falter though, and Jinyoung considered it as an achievement on his part. “Thank you, Hyunwoo-ssi.”

“My wife is sitting at our table. She refuses to walk around and mingle.” Shownu briefly pointed towards a table at the other side of the hall to where Jinyoung got a glimpse of fine hair and even finer dress.

Jaebum nodded, “We’ll give our greetings to her later.”

Then Jaebum turned towards the woman who sat beside Yongguk. Jinyoung almost failed to notice her existence – she was small and timid amidst the made men that surrounded her. And when she looked up, Jinyoung saw fear in her eyes. Jaebum continued, “Good evening, Saemi-ssi. You’re even more beautiful than the last time I saw you.”

Jinyoung almost rolled his eyes at the flattery. His husband sure knew how to butter up women.

The woman, however, did not utter a word in reply. She only let a quaky smile pass her face before bowing down and hiding her head. _Weird_ , Jinyoung thought. And out of impulse, or poor decision making on his end, Jinyoung removed himself from Jaebum’s side and went up close to the woman. He bowed to her seated height, took her tiny hand and pressed a kiss on the back of it, “The evening is beautiful but I’m afraid it’s no match to you, my lady.”

The woman widened his eyes in obvious shock and there was no mistaking it, everyone else in the table was caught by surprise too. Jinyoung stood up and when he turned towards Jaebum, he saw the smallest shadow of a smile on his lips.

It was silent for a few beats and then Yongguk burst out laughing. “Jaebum, my friend, you have an amusing husband, alright.” The Don turned to Jinyoung and there was something evil in his eyes, “I should repay you the honour, Jinyoung-ssi.”

Jinyoung hesitated and he threw a pleading look at his husband but it seemed like Jaebum was not going to step in. So, Jinyoung had no choice but to walk in front towards the other Don.

Yongguk took one of his hand and said to Jaebum, “You wouldn’t mind me kissing your husband’s hand, do you? He did the same to my wife after all.” It was obvious in the way he arched a brow that he was challenging Jaebum.

Jinyoung then knew that he made a mistake for acting so recklessly and now that he whipped his head towards Jaebum, the shadow of a smile that he saw just a second ago was turned into a blatant scowl and the Don’s hands were clenched into fists at the sides too.

The atmosphere was suddenly thick with tension, with the two Dons having a stare off. Hyunwoo clearly did not want to meddle with what was going on and he took a clear step back – as if saying that if punches start getting thrown, he was not going to butt in. Jinyoung tried to retract his hand but Yongguk’s grip tightened and tightened and tightened around it. There was no escape from him.

Jaebum gave the stiffest nod and Jinyoung held his breath in. Yongguk gave a smile towards him and gently pressed his lips on the back of Jinyoung’s hand. It was brief and it was as innocent as it can get but Jinyoung felt chills ran down his spine.

Just as soon as Yongguk was done, Jinyoung pulled his hand away as Jaebum simultaneously reached for him – tucking Jinyoung tightly back to his side and laying an arm protectively across his waist.

“Yongguk.” Jaebum said tersely. “I’ll see you around. Enjoy the party.” He nodded towards both Dons, “You too Hyunwoo.”

Jaebum made a show of turning his back on Yongguk. However, before he and Jinyoung could leave the other Don’s presence, Yongguk said, “Make sure to give the same greeting to my cousin, Jaebum. Jihyun is dying to see you again.”

Jaebum clicked his tongue and Jinyoung could feel the annoyance that rolled off of him intensify. _So Jihyun is here, huh_ , Jinyoung mused. He was finally going to put a face to the name.

Without turning back to acknowledge Yongguk’s words, Jaebum strode away and Jinyoung tried his best to keep up with his husband’s forceful steps.

Jinyoung was still feeling irked at the whole scene that transpired between the Dons. It was clear that Jaebum and Yongguk disliked each other with a passion. They might not display it so obviously but Jinyoung saw the way their eyes burned with distaste towards each other. It was scary, to say the least – it would take so little for the two to blow up and declare war with each other. It was a blessing that Hyunwoo seemed uninterested in the possible conflict between the other two Dons. It would be better that he stayed neutral if he would not side with Jaebum. All the schemes these Dons were playing at in the name of politics were making Jinyoung anxious with what was about to happen. And it was only the start of the night too.

 

 

Jaebum finally led Jinyoung towards their assigned table where Jaebum’s inner circle was seated already. Jackson and Mark looked deadly sharp, just as sharp as Jaebum had dressed – and if the three of them stood together to represent the famiglia, there was no explanations needed; they would exude the most power in the room. No one could deny that, it was almost a fact.

Youngjae was dressed simpler than the other made men on the table, being flamboyant and blatantly pompous had never been his trait, but he still wore an expensive suit which definitely costed more than his everyday attire. Yugyeom, for the love of God, was wearing a shirt under his blazer that was cut too low. It was _too_ low and revealed a great expanse of the man’s chest. Jinyoung was perplexed – who let him wear that? And then like a loud siren seeking for attention, Bambam stood up and twirled before them.

If Jinyoung thought Yugyeom’s clothes were inappropriate, Bambam’s was downright scandalous. Jinyoung sucked in a breath as Bambam posed for them in his sheer shirt that left nothing to the imagination and his very tight leather pants that appeared as if it was painted directly over his slim legs. On his neck, he wore a black lace choker with a humongous diamond embedded at the center. His fingers were adorned with shimmering diamonds as well and when he twirled for the second time, Jinyoung almost screeched at the slit that parted the entirety of the shirt and exposed all of the made man’s back.

Jinyoung whipped his head towards Jaebum to see if his husband was just as shocked as he was. And Jaebum was, if the frown he wore meant what Jinyoung felt as of the moment. “Where is your coat, Bambam?”

“Oooh! You want to see my coat too?” Bambam vibrated like a jackhammer and despite his audacious get up, which was totally more suited to a runway model than a mafioso, Jinyoung’s heart melted at the sight of him being so happy. Not that Jinyoung understood the made man’s fashion sense but at least he was happy.

Yugyeom tossed the coat that completed Bambam’s get up, “Here, Jaebum hyung! Feel the velvet. I got it from one of our Middle Eastern trades!”

“Do I even want to know where you got all these diamonds from?” Jaebum asked and then continued, “No, don’t answer that. I actually don’t want to know. As long as you aren’t cheating off my business.”

Bambam replied defensively, “Of course, I wouldn’t! What did you take me for? This ring is one of the spoils my father has left me. It belonged to the previous Thai king, you know?” He proudly showed the ring on his middle finger. It had the biggest diamond among the rings that Bambam wore. “D, round cut, flawless, 5 carat.”

Somewhere from the table, Jackson whistled. “And let me guess, you just plucked it off the king’s finger because you fell in love with it at first sight?”

“Hush, Jackson hyung. It’s more beautiful on me than it had ever been on that old man, anyway.” Bambam pouted at Jackson but then, just as eager, he turned back to Jaebum and said, “What can you say, hyung? Aren’t I just _dazzling_ tonight?”

Jinyoung did not know where Bambam got all of his flamboyance from. It was making Jinyoung cringe at his elaborate display. However, when he peered up at his husband, Jaebum appeared to be amused as he wore a fond smile towards the younger made man.

“You’re dazzling, alright.” Jaebum chuckled as he ruffled Bambam’s delicately arranged hair which was received with a loud reprimand of _Hyung! I spent hours on my hair!_ Jaebum only replied with a, “But as much as you like being shiny and all, please wear your coat. That sheer shirt is seriously ridiculous.”

Bambam huffed, “It’s not!”

A chorus of “Yes, it is!” came from the made men seated at the table and Jinyoung released a slow exhale in relief – it was comforting to know that he was not the only one bothered by Bambam’s lack of clothing.

As they all sat around the table, the music flowed from the mini-orchestra and dancing continued from the couples at the center of the room. Jinyoung surveyed the scene before him: ladies covering their faces as they laughed with the men; men conversing on every corner of the room and giving pleasantries; the made men in his own table downing glasses after glasses of wine. Jinyoung had half a mind to worry about them getting drunk.

“Aren’t you supposed to be mingling with the others? How come you’re all seated here?” Jinyoung spoke.

“Ah, but we’ve already said hello to the important ones. It’s boring during this type of events. We have to act uptight or else the other two-” Youngjae lazily pointed out to the sides where Hyunwoo and Yongguk sat, “Those two might think were not serious about business.”

“Except that we are serious. Very, very serious.” Bambam added, “Do you think I would’ve spent time dressing up if I’m not serious?”

Everyone around the table shook their head again. Mark, after downing a glass full of red wine in one swig, turned to Jaebum, “Have you heard already? Jihyun’s here.”

“Yeah, Bang himself told me.” Jaebum spat the name like acid. “I really don’t like him.”

“So you’ve greeted the other Dons already then. Good.” Mark nodded, impressed that he did not have to drag Jaebum to do pleasantries with the other famiglias. “And let me guess, you’ve brought Jinyoung with you?”

Jackson made a face, “Great, Jinyoung. So you’ve met Yongguk and his men? Jesus, their faces make me sick!” Jackson took his glass of wine and downed the contents forcefully, “That Daehyun! He acts all mightily but he isn’t anything mighty at all.”

“You’re just saying that because you tried to sleep with Youngjae.” Yugyeom quipped that made Jinyoung sharply turn his head towards his side where Youngjae sat, eyes wide and jaw hanging. “Oh, gross. Not our Youngjae, Jinyoung hyung. I meant Yoo Youngjae.”

“Ugh, do not even think about any possibilities of me hanging out with that bunch,” Youngjae, _their_ Youngjae, said in disgust.

Jaebum cleared his throat and reprimanded, “Guys, stop. Stop talking about the other famiglias that way. Especially not right now. We don’t want a fight to break out if someone overhears you.”

“You’re just saying that for Youngjae’s honour. It’s true, I guess, what everyone says-” Mark muttered under his breath, “A brother is an extension of oneself. No wonder you and Jackson share the same tastes.” His mood suddenly soured and his face was back to a clean slate where no emotion shone through. At times like this, Jinyoung thought that there was more similarity between his husband and Mark than he with Jackson. Especially when it came to comments that cut deep.

Jaebum clicked his tongue, “Mark,” he started. “This is not the time nor place to act like a child. You are my consigliere so act like it.” He hissed and then continued, “And don’t drag me into whatever it is that you have with Jackson.”

“And in my defense, I wasn’t trying to get into Youngjae’s pants. Daehyun just made a big fuss about it because he’s stupid like that.” Jackson glared at Mark. “You know this. Why are you bringing it up?”

The atmosphere was suddenly electrified and heated that even breathing was painful. Jinyoung was afraid that Jackson would throw a punch at Mark since the underboss was blatantly seething – his fists clenched into tight fists. Fortunately, Jaebum broke the tension with his very own scowl and pissed off voice. “I said stop. Don’t test me, brothers. I’m in a bad mood right now. We are at a Commission event, fucking act like made.”

It still amazed Jinyoung how Jaebum commanded everyone around him. He was scary when he turned into his Don persona – well, he was always scary and demanding but at times like this, Jaebum made you feel cold fear. It did not matter who was around or how they were related to him, Jaebum would put _everyone_ in their place without an ounce of remorse. His words always left you feeling like an erratic child. And no one could dare disobey him when he got serious like that. Jaebum was _that_ kind of person and Jinyoung internally smiled at the fact. He did not know why but he liked it when Jaebum displayed power unapologetically.

That all depended, of course, on his husband’s unfortunate target. Jinyoung never liked it when Jaebum used that tone on him. It made him feel small and useless – a property. Which he was, he constantly needed to remind himself.

“Why are you all in a pissy mood?” Yugyeom chimed in. “I just wanted have a Yongguk-dissing session. I didn’t mean for you to diss each other out.” He huffed and then stood. He brushed his coat and gestured for Bambam, “Come on. Let’s hit the dance floor. Those losers don’t know how to fucking dance. It’s such a sore eye.”

Bambam rolled his eyes but stood up nonetheless, “Just say that you want to romance me. No need to act like you’re not dying to press all over my body. What a loser.”

“Fuck off,” Yugyeom hissed but his action contradicted his words as he grabbed Bambam’s wrist and dragged him towards the dance area.

Jinyoung shook his head in confusion. He would never understand how those two made men worked. They were absurd in all sense of the word. He just hoped that they would tone it down and actually dance according to the theme. Jinyoung had seen how they grinded and gyrated at each other during Yugyeom’s party. However, this was different – this was a formal gala and they could not just do that.

“Are you sure they can be left alone to dance?” Jinyoung asked his husband.

Jaebum picked his glass up and swished the wine content before taking a sip of the blood red liquid. Jinyoung’s eyes _did not_ follow the movement and he certainly _did not_ feel his palm sweat when Jaebum licked at his lips after. No, Jinyoung was definitely the epitome of calm and collected.

“It’s fine,” Jaebum replied. “Those two might act as fucking pain in the ass but they’re made, they’re my capos.” And to put emphasis, he continued, “Believe it or not, more than half of this room is wary of them. Those kids have a reputation on the streets after all.”

Jackson leaned back and crossed his legs, a smirk colouring his handsome face with mirth – the earlier tension gone in an instant. “They give quite the impression, alright.”

“What do you mean?” Jinyoung asked, curious as to how Bambam and Yugyeom acted out as mafiosi. To him, they were just noisy and annoying brats. Of course, he knew that they could not be innocent – they handled guns and drugs, Jinyoung had seen them do it. But it was just hard to picture that the two young men were anything like Jaebum or even Jackson.

“Those two are crazy. Like crazy crazy. Trigger-happy and unwarrantly sadistic.” Youngjae grimaced. “I swear, my men are scared to go to their side of the street.”

Jinyoung watched as Yugyeom drew Bambam closer and laid both hands firmly on Bambam’s lithe waist. Bambam then in turn hooked his arms around Yugyeom’s neck, and they swayed along with the melody of the music. They were pressed close together and their eyes were closed as well. Anyone who would so much as glance at them would certainly be able to tell that they were in a relationship.

“Does everyone know they’re together?” Jinyoung inquired. It seemed that the night had spurred his brain to ask and ask questions.

“People suspect but as long as they won’t ask Yugyeom and Bambam directly, that is all it’s going to be. A suspicion.” Jaebum shrugged, “Also, they try to kill each other everyday so I don’t think many actually suspect them to be together.”

_That’s fair enough_ , Jinyoung thought. However, when he looked back at the couple dancing, Jinyoung swore that he saw Yugyeom’s fingers disappear under Bambam’s transparent shirt. His eyes widened and as if sensing him, Bambam turned towards his direction and winked. Jinyoung made a sputtering noise and he immediately looked away.

“I know!” Jackson suddenly exclaimed. “Brother, it’s the perfect time for you to flaunt Jinyoung to everyone in this room.”

Jinyoung whipped his head and glared at the underboss. On the contrary to his impending demise, Jaebum cocked his head to the side as if considering Jackson’s idea and said, “What do you have in mind, Jackson?”

“Dance,” Jackson’s smirk turned into a full-on grin. “Dance with him, Jaebum. Everyone will have their eyes on you two.”

Jaebum hummed, “Not a bad idea.” He then turned towards Jinyoung who looked as if a ghost had passed his vision. His husband was rigid but his eyes screamed at Jaebum to stop. Yet, the corner of Jaebum’s mouth curved upwards, “What do you say, Jinyoung? Dance with me?”

Jinyoung shook his head to say no. He did not want to dance for many valid reasons. First of all, it would put him in the spotlight. It might be a good idea to Jaebum and Jackson but he did not want to be gawked at by the mafiosi in the room. He had enough of them staring and boring holes at him – it was uncomfortable in every way. Second, he did not really want to subject himself in a situation where Jaebum would be all up in his personal space. And that was what the dancing would do. He glanced at Bambam and Yugyeom again and noted their severe proximity. Jinyoung did not trust himself to be _that_ near to Jaebum. His heart would not be able to handle it.

However, it seemed that Jaebum was not really waiting for an answer. He must have made his decision without Jinyoung’s input at all because he proceeded to stand and took Jinyoung’s wrist along. “Let’s go,” was all he said before dragging Jinyoung towards the dance floor. And to Jinyoung’s horror, Jaebum nodded towards the mini-orchestra and the music abruptly changed to a slower beat – more sensual, more romantic.

Jinyoung groaned and scowled at Jaebum, “You know I don’t want to dance and you told them to change the music? What the fuck, Jaebum?”

Jaebum only smirked in response as he placed Jinyoung’s hands on his chest and then placing his own on Jinyoung’s waist. In their position, Jinyoung was securely encircled in Jaebum’s embrace. “I told you not to curse at me, husband.”

Jinyoung hissed, “That’s not the problem here, Jaebum.” But his husband started to sway and so Jinyoung had no choice but to follow Jaebum’s lead. “I hate you.”

“Hush. Just enjoy it, _tesoro._ ” Jaebum said and Jinyoung’s heart kicked wildly in his chest.

That damned endearment again. Why was Jaebum using it? It was driving Jinyoung to death with how his blood spiked and his ears rang.

“Stop that.” Jinyoung muttered, “Don’t call me that.”

Jaebum raised a brow, “Why? I’ll call you whatever I want, Jinyoung.”

“People might get the wrong idea.”

“Then let them. I don’t lie, husband. I only do and say things I mean to.” Jaebum pulled Jinyoung closer so that now, their chests were almost in contact. “Live with it. If I want to call you tesoro, then I will.”

“God, I hate you.” Jinyoung scowled. However, he knew when to back down and it is at times like this – when Jaebum had decided, there was no way to sway his mind against the idea. His husband was simply stubborn.

Jaebum only tightened his hold at Jinyoung’s waist. He leaned in close to Jinyoung and whispered right in his husband's ear, “Everyone’s watching, my dear husband. Show them what it is like to be married to _me_. Make them envious, tesoro.”

Jinyoung stopped and ground his feet on the floor. Did he hear Jaebum correctly? Did his husband just say what he thought he said? Jinyoung must be in some kind of trance because _what_? Jinyoung backed away from his husband and looked at him wide eyed. “What?”

Jaebum chuckled and pulled Jinyoung back into their previous position – pulled Jinyoung back into his arms. “I told you not to reply dumbly, Jinyoung. I know you heard and understood what I said.”

Jinyoung definitely did not understand what Jaebum was trying to do. But he could also not deny the sensation of everyone’s eyes glued to them – to him. It almost felt like he was in a zoo and trapped in a cage while being ogled at. Except that in this case, the cage was Jaebum’s arms and no matter how much Jinyoung tried to get away, his husband would just tighten his grip around him. It was frustrating, it was off-putting.

Jaebum made them turn and skip along with the beat of the music and Jinyoung caught Yongguk’s eyes watching them. It sent chills down Jinyoung’s spine to see that _he_ , of all people, would be interested in watching him. Well, Jinyoung felt that everything Jaebum and Yongguk did was a competition of some sort – even this display of union between him and Jaebum. That was right, that must have been the reason why Jaebum was doing this. His husband did say earlier, when they were still at home, that he could not wait to _flaunt_ Jinyoung off to everyone. Then this must be it. Jaebum must be doing all of this pretense to deceive every mafiosi in the room. _Not a liar my ass_ , Jinyoung chastised Jaebum internally.

Jinyoung would not admit, would not confess to having his hope let down. He should not even be hoping for anything more than friendship between them in the first place. His mind was playing games with him again.

Jinyoung steeled himself. Jaebum wanted him to perform, so he will. “Yongguk is watching, Jaebum.”

“I know.”

So that was really Jaebum’s hidden modus – to dance with him so that Yongguk would not be able to say a single word about their marriage. Jinyoung was _not_ disappointed for that being the reason. He understood how politics work.

“Okay, fine. I’ll make everyone jealous, husband.” Jinyoung smiled angelically – as angelic as he could with his mind and heart in turmoil – and then ever so surprisingly, he leaned in and glided his hands that were on Jaebum’s chest up across until it reached his husband’s neck. And then, he wound his hands behind it and interlocked his fingers at Jaebum’s nape. Like this, they were like Bambam and Yugyeom. Like this, it was obvious that they were close, _intimate_ with each other – with his hands linked on Jaebum’s nape, softly fingering through the overgrown locks at the base, and with Jaebum’s hands encircling his waist. They were a picture perfect couple in love and dancing.

Jaebum smirked, “You’re getting braver and braver, husband. This is why I like you, tesoro.”

Jinyoung almost faltered but he quickly recomposes himself. He told his wayward brain that this was only for show, that this was deception. Of course, the Ims could never project an unhappily married Don. Of course, the Ims should be perfect in every way.

Well, it might be an act and Jaebum was being the world’s greatest actor – but Jinyoung had developed his own skill over time. He found out that he was an amazing actor as well. He can play his part in this game too.

 

 

Despite his initial reluctance, Jinyoung found himself enjoying his time at the event. After he had danced with Jaebum for _three_ rounds – Mark, very surprisingly, asked for a dance next. Jinyoung was bewildered at that. Mark was someone Jinyoung could not read clearly, his face never gave anything away. Like what he thought before, the consigliere was like his husband – closed-off and impassive only that Mark was more guarded. At least with Jaebum, anger was always almost visible. However, even that cannot be seen in Mark’s face. The only time Jinyoung saw Mark with an expression on was when he was with Jaebum or Jackson. Aside from that, Mark remained a mystery.

That was why he was so surprised when the consigliere asked for a dance with him. To make matters even more odd, Jaebum did not say any word about it – he just nodded and handed him to Mark. But not without whispering to Jinyoung that he would be watching, that he would not let Jinyoung out of his sight.

He accepted Mark’s request and they did dance. When Jinyoung asked the made man what was going on, why he wanted to dance with him – Mark said something along the lines of trying to get away from Jackson.

Jinyoung, with his nosy personality, wanted to dig in deeper into the two made men’s relationship but he knew that it was not his place. It was obviously hurting them both. But then again, he was in no position to inquire. And even if he did ask and Mark gave an answer, he would not know what advice to offer. He did not exactly have an experience with love or anything related to it – his marriage was a sham. He was the last person who could probably help the two mafiosi.

After his dance with Mark, Youngjae swiftly asked for one as well. And then Bambam followed. He had to beg Bambam to stop when he asked for another round. Jinyoung’s feet were starting to hurt and he had to pee. He had been swaying and twirling for the last hour and he direly needed to excuse himself to the restroom. Jinyoung had pried Bambam’s limbs from him and told him to tell Jaebum that he was just going to the restroom quickly, with emphasis on not to follow him there. Jinyoung was aware how well Jaebum stuck to his words and when he said that he would not let Jinyoung out of his sight, it meant the extreme.

But it seemed that Bambam had successfully convinced Jaebum that no one would abduct Jinyoung while he peed since his husband had not showed up. Jinyoung looked at the mirror in the restroom and examined himself. He look every bit the same as the made men in the hall. With his expensive suit and polished hair, no one would be able to tell that he was not a part of their circle. He looked like a _mafioso_.

Jinyoung immediately shook his head to clear his thoughts. He could not be a mafioso. He was supposed to hate them and the mafia. He dismissed all unwarranted notions and decided to go back to the event.

However, as he exited the restroom, he was stopped short and cornered at the tiny walkway between the male and female restrooms by a woman he did not know. The woman was extremely pretty and she was about his height with the killer heels she wore. Her dress was a deep shade of burgundy that complimented her skin and hair. She exuded sultriness and Jinyoung instinctively took a small step back. This woman was not good news.

“Uhm, can I help you?” Jinyoung offered.

The woman smiled at him – it was sensual, it was deadly. “So you’re my replacement, huh?”

Jinyoung’s mouth dropped open from shock. No one had addressed him like that ever since he married Jaebum. Everyone had been passive-aggressive on showing their dislike towards him – not like this. No one had _accused_ him so directly like this. “Excuse me?”

The woman ran a red-painted nail down Jinyoung’s cheek – it was a great feat that Jinyoung managed to avoid flinching when the whole scenario was simply ridiculous. It was stupid that he was being cornered by a mafia lady right outside of the restrooms. Jinyoung grabbed the woman’s wrist, as gently as he could of course, and brought her hand down back to her side.

The woman smiled, more like sneered if Jinyoung was being truthful, and said, “I’ll be honest, you’re pretty but not pretty enough to replace me. What was Jaebum thinking? Settling for someone like you?” She shook her head and sighed, “What a waste.”

The shock wore away and was slowly replaced with annoyance. Jinyoung was getting annoyed – who was this girl? Who was she to speak to him so disrespectfully?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, miss. Who are you, anyway?”

The woman smiled even wider, her blood red lips stretching to reveal pearl white teeth. It should be beautiful but now Jinyoung could only label it as sinister. “Lee Jihyun, Jinyoung-ssi. I’m sure you’ve heard of me. And I would say that I’m at your service but I’m more interested in giving your husband some of my _services_ instead.”

Jinyoung was aghast. So this was the Jihyun everyone was wary about and from the get go, Jinyoung had to agree with Youngjae – she was a bitch.

“Oh yeah, right. So you’re Jihyun. With all due respect, what do you want exactly?”

“It’s simple, really. I want Jaebum.” Jihyun replied simply, as if she was just asking for a piece of candy, as if it was that easy.

Jinyoung frowned. He did not like where their conversation is going. “You mean, you want my husband? I think that’s going to be impossible, Jihyun-ssi. Jaebum is _my_ husband.”

“Ah, you meant that there’s no divorce in Jaebum’s famiglia because it’s Cosa Nostra? Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure that if the Commission mandates it for a valid reason, we can do something about that.” Jihyun reasoned out.

Jinyoung started to panic at that. Surely, that could not be possible. “And what valid reason do you have, Jihyun-ssi. As far as I know, Jaebum was the one who wanted to marry me. What reason could there be that would have him agree to your idea?”

“Surely, you can’t think that he really likes you.” Jihyun scoffed, “You were just attractive because I wasn’t here the moment he needed a wife to secure the position of Don. But now that I am here, he doesn’t need you anymore.”

Jinyoung tried to remain calm and composed, it took every bit of his will not to punch Jihyun right then and there. The woman was seriously grating on Jinyoung’s nerves. This only happened in dramas – how dare she bring up an argument like that?

“And oh,” Jihyun added all while still grinning like a mad woman, “There’s also something that I can give Jaebum which you could never. Jinyoung-ssi, I can give Jaebum an heir.”

That silenced Jinyoung. It shut all of his thoughts in an instant. He had not thought about that, at all. It never crossed his mind that Jaebum might need a son, an heir that would inherit his empire. He was so focused on himself that he failed to consider that Jaebum might _need_ a son. Thinking back to Hyunwoo and Yongguk, Jinyoung started to feel out of place even more than he did before. The two Dons have their own respective wives and here Jaebum was with a male partner. It hit Jinyoung hard in the gut – no wonder, Jaebum was taking assertive measures to prove to everyone that his marriage was not a failure. Jaebum must be receiving a lot of backlash and Jinyoung had remained ignorant of it all. He wanted to feign nonchalance and disinterest because it was Jaebum who chose to marry him after all. Jaebum was the one who bought him from Jintae – it was the Don’s fault. He did not want any of this in the first place. However, Jinyoung could not help but feel conflicted; he felt belittled, embarrassed, and for the life of him, he could not understand why he felt guilty too.

“Jaebum might be amazing in bed and I know that he’s very addictive but you can never give him what he needs no matter how much you beg him to fuck you. So I suggest you back out while I’m still giving you a chance. It’s just going to be ugly if you go against me. Do you understand, Jinyoung-ssi?”

Jinyoung clenched his fist. He knew. He understood. But he was also pissed at Jihyun. He had done nothing wrong. He was the victim in the grand scheme of things. He did not _steal_ Jaebum from her. How dare this girl come up to him like this? He can easily punch her and break her pretty little neck using one of the moves Jaebum had taught him.

However, before he can do anything, a loud voice interrupted their conversation – if their one-sided threatening could ever be considered as a conversation.

“Yo, what’s going on here?” Jackson loudly made his presence known and upon seeing who Jinyoung was with, he scowled, “Ugh, what are you doing here, Jihyun?”

Behind Jackson, Mark stepped forward and grabbed Jinyoung’s arm to drag him to their side – like a sign of protectiveness to which Jinyoung was grateful.

“Oh hi, Jackson! Hi, Mark! Long time no see,” Jihyun exclaimed, ignoring the way both made men frowned at her existence.

“Don’t. It was _not_ nice seeing you again. Why couldn’t have you stayed in Italy, huh?” Jackson clicked his tongue, “Everyone’s happy here without you.”

Jihyun chuckled, “You don’t have to be so antagonistic. I was only talking to Jinyoung-ssi.”

“What did you say to him?” Mark hissed.

Jihyun waved her hand away, signifying that it was not important. “Nothing that he didn’t already know. Right, Jinyoung-ssi?”

Jackson glared at Jihyun for a long minute before saying, “Just give up on Jaebum, Jihyun. He doesn’t feel anything other than annoyance to you. Spare yourself from a second heartbreak.”

Then, Jackson signalled to Mark and Jinyoung that it was time to leave Jihyun‘s presence. “Let’s go, everyone’s waiting at the table. Dinner is going to be served.” And so, the three of them made their way back to the hall but not without hearing Jihyun laugh and call after them.

“Jaebum will realise his love for me, just you wait. It might have taken him long, but he will and I’m going to forgive him for keeping me waiting.”

“Don’t listen to her,” Mark said quietly from Jinyoung’s right. “She’s delusional.”

Jinyoung took a deep inhale – yes, he would not listen to her. Jinyoung knew that there was some truth to her being downright crazy and obsessed but there was also truth in what she said, Jinyoung was now slowly becoming aware.

He was an unwelcome addition to Jaebum’s mafia. He was unnecessary. He was not needed in more ways than he had thought before.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so new update!!!  
> i'm actually late this time asdfks but thank you to those who cheered me on :DD you know yourselves, my friends. 
> 
> so what do you think about this new drama brewing on? Jihyun is such a bitch - don't be like her, people. Jaebum might be downright hot and god sent but please, he has Jinyoung and he'll never look at us the way he looks at Jinyoung LMAO  
> ALSO, i'll have you know that i started this whole fic because i wanted Jaebum to call Jinyoung tesoro ajjshgl i've read so much mafia books and in them, there's always someone calling someone tesoro AND I JUST HAD TO IN THE NAME OF JJP. so that's how all of this word vomits came to life :)))
> 
> drop in the comments what you think!  
> or ask me questions in [cc](https://curiouscat.me/crudescere) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/crudescere)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!!!


	12. Chapter 12

XII

 

Omnia mutantur, nihil interit

(Everything changes, nothing perishes)

\- Metamorphoses, Book XV, Line 165, Ovid

 

 

When Jinyoung went down to the dining hall the next morning, he stopped in his tracks as soon as he saw his husband already seated and sipping coffee from his mug. Jihyun’s words from the night before rang clearly in his head. He managed to act as if it had not affected him when Mark and Jackson brought him back to their table at the gala. He drank glass after glass of wine to keep his composure around Jaebum. However, now that there was no alcohol to distract him and give him false courage, he faltered.

Jaebum was reading the newspaper like he did any other day. His side of the table was empty – probably done with breakfast already. Jaebum must have noticed his presence because his husband folded the newspaper and turned towards him, “Why are you just standing there, Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung snapped out of his thoughts and settled himself on the seat beside Jaebum. Over the weeks, they had gotten accustomed to always having breakfast together and Jaebum had made him sit beside him. Jinyoung had learned to brush the initial awkwardness off before but now, their proximity was starting to bother him again. Especially when he had just awoken from a dream that consisted of Jihyun listing all of his faults and shortcomings and why he was just not the right one for Jaebum.

“Are you alright? Does your head hurt? I told you, drinking that much wine was not a good idea. But you never listen to me so I guess you deserve it.” Jaebum clicked his tongue.

“Oh shut up,” Jinyoung groaned as he picked up his fork and stabbed at the eggs in his plate. “Have you eaten already?” He gestured towards Jaebum’s empty side.

Jaebum said, “I’m done with it,” before picking up his mug and taking another sip right after.

Jinyoung’s suspicion was confirmed and he frowned, “You’re finished?”

“Yeah, I have something important to take care of. I had to get to work earlier than usual,” Jaebum shrugged. “But I waited until you woke up, tesoro,” He added with a growing smirk.

The sudden endearment so early in the morning caught Jinyoung off guard and made him bite hard on his spoon. His teeth clashed violently and protested but Jinyoung was too busy trying not to puke. He abruptly grabbed his glass of water and forcefully downed the contents, liquid spilling from the corners of his mouth down to his chin. He glared at Jaebum who scooted his chair and started getting up. Jinyoung hissed, “I hate you.”

Jaebum only patted his shoulder on his way out, “Call me if something happened. And if your headache does not get better any time soon, call Mark.”

Jinyoung ignored Jaebum – acted like the simple gesture did not throw his heart off beat. He pretended that he was not going crazy so early in the morning.

 

 

 

Days had passed without much going on aside from Jaebum constantly calling Jinyoung endearments. It had started with tesoro and had progressed to a myriad of pet names from different languages. Jinyoung had a good enough grasp of Italian which he learned as per Jintae’s insistence to know that Jaebum called him _my beautiful boy_ sometimes. Il mio bel ragazzo. He got flustered the first time he heard his husband address him as such but that was not the worst of it. There was so much more that Jinyoung had to look some of it in the internet – just to be certain that Jaebum was not cursing him in another language, especially one that he did not understand.

 _Anata_. _A ghrá_. _Mon chéri_. _Tîi rák. Bǎo bèi. Hermoso. Cariño._ It was all over the place and Jinyoung felt as if it was more of a language lesson than anything – as if Jaebum was preparing him to respond to the mother tongues of his fellow mafia connections. After all, Jinyoung was not stupid and he had connected the dots. The Japanese yakuza, the Irish mob, the French milieu, the Thai chao pho, the Chinese triad, the Mexican and Colombian drug cartels. They were all that held the power when it came to organised crime. Unwelcomely, Jinyoung remembered the squeak he gave out when Jaebum had called him _Котенок_. That was the Russian way of saying _kitten –_ Jaebum just called him kitten and it made Jinyoung’s heart thrum wildly in his chest. It gave him the same exaltation he felt whenever his husband called him tesoro. He severely doubted that the Russian Bratva turned into puddles of jelly when they were called cats. But still, Jinyoung felt weak in the knees whenever Jaebum called him random names.

He would not say it out loud, however – that his favourite was still _tesoro._

Jinyoung did not know what game Jaebum was playing, what his husband was planning. All he knew was that it was driving his mind and heart to the deep end.

Jinyoung sighed. It was one of those days where Jinyoung just lazed around at home without nothing to do. Jaebum was out for business and no other men seemed to be free to accompany him. He had called Youngjae but the made man said he was out dealing with some drug deliveries. He tried Bambam next but the mafioso declined his invitation stating that he and Yugyeom were in the middle of removing someone’s nail. He did not doubt them for after Bambam had spoken the words, he heard Yugyeom’s voice faintly in the background chuckling while someone screamed. At that, Jinyoung immediately cut the phone call off.

It surprised him, though, that he did not feel disgusted about it. It should have driven him mad; it should have gotten him angry that they would do something that vile. Selling drugs and torturing people? Jinyoung should be running for the hills already but – he was not. It did not even cross his mind until he really thought about it.

Suddenly, he then felt a different kind of fear – one that was not because of the people surrounding him; one that left him cold and wobbly on his feet. Jinyoung felt that he was _changing_ – like he was becoming someone he was not. That the mafia was turning him into someone of their kind. It chilled Jinyoung down to his core that perhaps, he was beginning to accept the violence and gore that surrounded Jaebum and his famiglia.

And if that was the case – then he would have to be considered a monster too, would he not?

Jinyoung closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He focused on breathing in slowly. He had craved for freedom ever since he could remember; he had wanted out of this underground life – but that would be impossible now if he himself had changed to become one of _them_. Jinyoung closed his eyes shut harshly, what happened? Where did he start losing his grip? Did it happen when he smiled back at Youngjae for the first time? Was hanging around Bambam and Yugyeom made him change his mind without knowing? Was it because he got curious about Jackson and Mark’s relationship?

Did he lose himself when he admitted – albeit only to himself and not to anyone else – that he liked Jaebum?

The realisation of what was happening to him shook Jinyoung vehemently that he needed to hold onto something physically to keep him steady. He was perched on the library windowsill gazing outward when the sudden thoughts came careening and hitting him in the gut. He dropped the book he was reading as he panted and grounded his feet on the plush carpet – he needed the physical reminder that he was still _there_ , that he was still _him_.

He could not believe that he really forgot that he hated who Jaebum was. Granted, it was the protective and mercurial man Jinyoung fell in _like_ with. He could not pinpoint a specific moment, a specific time wherein he started liking Jaebum. But that was it – he liked him because Jaebum had shown different sides of himself that Jinyoung found, well, likeable.

Jaebum had taught Jinyoung how to shoot with a gun, how to kick and punch. He had taught Jinyoung how to play the piano. He had shared with Jinyoung his books; he opened his library to be Jinyoung’s sanctuary. He had been honest to him at all times – even if brutally so. Jaebum had never imprisoned him; he never laid a hand on him with force. His husband, no matter how pissed off he was, had never gave out the impression that he wanted to _hurt_ him.

Jaebum may chastise and berate and chide him all day but he was also the first who stood against anyone who would so much as look at him wrongly. Jinyoung did his best to keep all memories from that one night away from his mind but _God_ – how could he forget that Jaebum killed for him?

But that was it. Jaebum killed people. Jinyoung might like Jaebum for the persona he displayed at home but that did not erase that he was a made man through and through. And Jinyoung knew, he damned well _knew_ that Jaebum would never let go of being made. Jaebum took great pride in being a mafioso – he had sold his life for it.

And Jinyoung could never separate Jaebum who was his husband from Jaebum who was Don.

Jinyoung closed his eyes and sought out God. He prayed wholeheartedly for the first time since he married Jaebum; he prayed that God give him strength. He prayed that God keep him to who he was.

 

 

 

Jinyoung was having dinner all on his own. Jaebum seemed to be coming home late and later for the few days that passed. Not that Jinyoung was keeping count but he had started to be aware of his husband’s whereabouts. Well, saying that he knew where Jaebum was would be a big stretch since he was still kept out of the business, but he tried to at least discern if Jaebum was home or not. He did not want a repeat of jumping out of bed because Bambam called him in panic that Jaebum was shot.

And as if the world was listening to Jinyoung’s thoughts about phone calls, his phone started buzzing beside him on the table. He peered at the caller but it only displayed a string of unfamiliar numbers. He ought to be suspicious, alarmed because who else would know of his number aside from Jaebum and their friends – friends, Jinyoung had accepted them as such. He could only fight for so long until he succumb to the need of having people around. After all, was he not the one that yearned for human relationships?

However, as his phone continued to buzz, Jinyoung worried that it may be important. After all, no one could get his number if Jaebum did not allow it, right? So this anonymous caller must have gained Jaebum’s approval to call him. With one last curious glance towards the unknown number, Jinyoung accepted the call.

He regretted it the instant the line connected, however. He took a sharp intake of breath as a familiar female voice greeted him from the other side.

“Jinyoung-ssi? You’re there, right? This is Jihyun.”

Of course, he would recognise her voice anywhere. It was embedded in his brain like nails scratching through cement. It was painful.

“Yes, Jihyun-ssi. How did you get my number?”

“Oh, I got it from Jaebum, who else?” Jihyun replied with smug and triumph.

Jinyoung closed his eyes in regret. He should not have picked up his phone – at all.

“What do you want?” He muttered low under his breath. He did not understand why Jaebum would do this to him; why his husband would freely give out his number to the one woman that plagued Jinyoung’s thoughts with unease.

“You see, I’m with Jaebum right now but he-” Jihyun was suddenly cut off as a commotion broke on her side. There was loud scratching noises and screeching that Jinyoung had to pull his phone away from his ears. “Stop, oppa! Wait!” Jihyun screamed before she was shut again.

Jinyoung was getting worried on what was occurring on the other end of the line. He might not like Jihyun but the woman had not done anything actually harmful to him.

To his sheer surprise, however, a man spoke next. And there was no mistaking it, Jinyoung knew the voice very well.

“Why the fuck are you answering unknown calls, Jinyoung?”

“Jaebum?” Jinyoung was confused. Was Jaebum with Jihyun?

Jaebum groaned then, on the other end of the call, a loud thud was heard. Jinyoung heard him hiss – towards Jihyun probably, “Fucking sit and behave.” Then right after that, a loud shrill laugh broke out and Jinyoung was certain that it was Jihyun’s.

“Jaebum, is that you? And what the hell are you doing with Jihyun?”

“Later. I’ll be home soon and we will talk about this later when I get back.” Just as soon as Jaebum finished speaking, Jihyun screamed _No! Oppa, stay here!_

The next thing Jinyoung heard was a violent crash and the sound of wood breaking. His eyes instantly widened and his blood went cold.

“Jaebum,” He started carefully, “What exactly are you doing? You’re not hurting Jihyun, are you?” As much as he did not like Jaebum associating with Jihyun when the woman was clearly delusional, he would not be able to stomach it if Jaebum was physically hurting her.

There was brief pause before Jaebum replied with a guttural tone as if Jinyoung’s question frustrated him to great lengths. “Do you really think of me as a monster? I’m not hurting her for fuck’s sake, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung felt relieved at that and a little bit guilty. He did not mean to accuse Jaebum but he was not ignorant on how Jaebum blew up when he was mad – and it sounded like he was _really_ mad. “I’m sorry. I heard a crash and I thought, well, you know what I thought.”

Jaebum sighed, “It was the table, tesoro. I hit the table not her, okay?” Jihyun started screaming for Jaebum again and Jinyoung winced at how loud she was being even through the phone. “I’ll hang up now. And don’t answer calls from unknown numbers again, Jinyoung. I’m fucking serious.”

The line went dead right after and left Jinyoung’s mind reeling. What was that about? Jinyoung looked down at his dinner, suddenly not hungry anymore. Never mind that he only had a couple of bites before being interrupted. How could he eat when confusion gnawed at him?

He tried to play it cool, to pretend that it did not affect him. Jinyoung was not actually bothered at not knowing where Jaebum’s affections lie. He knew that his husband did not feel any sort of positive emotions toward Jihyun – but that went the same for him. He was not going to go ahead of himself and assume that Jaebum _favoured_ him more. What bothered Jinyoung, what made him anxious was the fact that Jihyun could give Jaebum what she said his husband needed. A son.

It made Jinyoung worry, thoughts running a mile at every passing second, because why would Jaebum be with Jihyun now all of a sudden? It had been days after the Commission gala – was he meeting with Jihyun regularly since then?

And what if that was true? What would Jinyoung do then? What would become of him if Jaebum really did want to have a son? There were suddenly so many questions his brain wanted answers to but could not process.

Jinyoung went to his room and buried himself under the covers. Emotions all over the place and blood fluctuating in his veins. He ought to sleep while he waited for Jaebum to come home but he was so restless that even the briefest of a blink made him see flashes of Jihyun’s triumphant smile.

He laid wide awake for what seemed like an hour until the door to his bedroom creaked open. Jinyoung did not have to turn toward the intruder to know who he was. The confident stride, the two knocks before entering – he was sure it was Jaebum. Well, there was really no one else that could be visiting him anyway.

“Are you up?” Jaebum’s strong voice bounced through the walls of Jinyoung’s silent room. “If you are, sit up. We need to talk.”

Jinyoung huffed before he threw the covers off him and sat up. He brought one of his pillows to his lap and leaned on it. Jinyoung surmised that he must look like a petulant child in his position but he did not care – not when Jaebum appeared to be frustrated and upset. He did not know why his husband was radiating negative vibes but he found it unfair that Jaebum was pissed when it was him who should be.

“What is it?” He sighed and patted on the free space beside him, gesturing that Jaebum can enter and sit on his bed.

Jaebum took large strides and plopped down across him. He stared at him dead in the eyes and said, “Why didn’t you tell me that Jihyun had cornered you?”

 _Oh_. Was Jaebum mad about that? Jinyoung did not think it was worth mentioning; nothing had happened after all aside from bruising his ego but that was not Jihyun’s fault alone. She was only telling the truth – even if the truth hurt him in ways he did not expect. “I didn’t tell you because it was nothing important.”

“Nothing important?” Jaebum shook his head in disagreement and his voice started to rise. “I let you out of my sight for one fucking second and you manage to put yourself in a compromising situation?”

Jinyoung frowned at that. Out of all the possible scenarios he had conjured up in his mind while waiting for Jaebum – this was not it. “You’re mad at me?” He asked with incredulity.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Jinyoung?” Jaebum hissed, “I had to fucking find out from Jackson.”

Jinyoung’s frown deepened and he was starting to get annoyed himself. Jaebum had no right to blame him for something that he did not want to happen as well. “What’s the deal? I didn’t tell you because it was nothing.”

“You’re not getting the fucking point.” Jaebum said through gritted teeth, “Jihyun cornered you and you didn’t tell me shit. Now,” Jaebum harshly breathed, “Now, tell me what she said to you.”

Their conversation was getting nowhere and Jinyoung was starting to get sick of not understanding why Jaebum was so mad. They were okay earlier in the morning. What happened between him and Jihyun that had him fuming?

“It’s not important. Why are you even mad?” Jinyoung strained, trying to contain his own rising emotions in check. He narrowed his eyes, “Was it because you didn’t want me to meet your ex? Is that it?”

“For fuck’s sake, I told you that she is not my ex.” Jaebum clenched his fists, “And I need to know what she told you so that I can correct it. You know I hate lies and I will not stand you believing shit that woman spouts.”

“Ah, so you’re going to defend yourself?” Jinyoung countered, “Don’t worry, you don’t need to. I don’t care.” That was a big fucking lie and Jinyoung knew it. But he would not allow Jaebum to learn of his insecurities. Confessing to Jaebum what had happened would be like baring his soul and Jinyoung wanted to preserve some of his dignity.

“Fuck, Jinyoung,” Jaebum closed his eyes in an attempt to compose himself and when they opened, Jinyoung saw a storm brewing behind his dark orbs. “I’ll ask for the last time. What did she say to you?” Jaebum emphasised every word and Jinyoung had enough of his husband’s aggressive tone.

Jaebum was not in any place to come to him this harshly. He had done nothing wrong. If anything, he was the victim – again.

“You want to know what she said to me, huh?” Jinyoung clenched the pillow he was holding tightly, so tight that his knuckles turned white. “Well, she said that she’ll give you a son. A fucking son, Jaebum. How great is that? Now you can go ahead and divorce me, I’ll understand. Go to her and have your damned son.”

Jaebum stiffened. If he appeared like he was losing patience a while ago, this time it was evident that he had _lost_ it. “And you believed her.” It was not a question but a statement, and it was clear that Jaebum was judging him. “You _believe_ her.”

Jinyoung was at a loss. He did not know what to say, how to respond. Of course, he believed her – there was nothing to deny. “She’s not wrong, Jaebum.”

“Damn it, Jinyoung,” Jaebum cursed aloud. “So what? You just stood there and took what she said? Accepted what she fucking said?” He shook his head, “I can’t believe you.”

Jinyoung lost his calm. At this point, he just wanted to throw the pillow he clutched at towards Jaebum’s angry face. He cannot, for the life of him, understand what Jaebum was trying to convey. It felt like they were conversing in two different languages. And he had the right to get mad as well for being accused and treated like he did something wrong.

“What the fuck is your actual problem, Jaebum?” Jinyoung hissed, “She told me something I needed to know. I’ve long accepted my fate here, damn it. I know I am _nothing_. Nothing. I’m a commodity and I don’t bring anything to your family!” He exclaimed. “Aside from that piece of land you got from my father, I am useless. An object. You could kill me right now and nothing would change!”

Jinyoung did not mean to blurt it all – but he did and it was too late to take everything that he said back. His breath was getting ragged, tired and weary from the emotional outbreak. But he was not done. His husband needed to understand that he knew how useless he was. Perhaps Jaebum would stop being so cryptic if he learned that Jinyoung knew of his place in the famiglia damn well.

“I know I’m not needed. So stop being mad at me. I did not want to be here!” He spat, “Honestly? Fuck you, Jaebum. Fuck you and your whole goddamned mafia!”

In a flash, Jaebum was up and towering over Jinyoung. His face was taut, skin pulled tight over his sharp angles, jaw clenched hard as he grit his teeth. His hands were balled into fists at the side. His nostrils flared and he stared at Jinyoung with so much intensity – hatred, disappointment, disdain. He stood up so abruptly that Jinyoung flinched and cowered, he backed away and held the pillow on his lap protectively in front of him as a reflex.

Jaebum looked so furious and Jinyoung feared that he might have pushed Jaebum too much. He feared that Jaebum would finally _hurt_ him.

Jinyoung gulped visibly. His hands started getting clammy and his whole body was rigid, preparing for the possibility of an attack. He senses were suddenly hyper aware of everything his husband appeared to be – wary of any sign, any hint that would give away Jaebum’s intentions to hurt him.

And when his husband took a single step towards him, Jinyoung automatically backed further away – sitting straight up, ready to stand _just in case_.

“You’re backing away?” Jaebum laughed and it scared Jinyoung for real this time because it did not have any sort of lightheartedness that usually laced Jaebum’s snarky comments. No, this time it was pure evil. Dark. Sinister. “You’re backing away, huh? You’re afraid of me?” He took another step forward, the ugly smile not leaving his face, “Go on, Jinyoung, run. Run away from me if you’re so scared.”

Jinyoung stopped breathing. He did not dare to leave his eyes away from Jaebum’s predatory gaze. This was not it – Jaebum cannot do this to him. His husband was a rational man, a sensible being. Sure, he was cruel but he had never been cruel towards Jinyoung. And Jinyoung will not let it happen without putting up a fight.

“What?” Jinyoung braved. He needed to know where all this aggression was coming from – why Jaebum was so mad, why Jaebum was _upset_. “I only said the truth! Dispose me, go on. I won’t run, I’m not that pathetic, Jaebum.” He hoped he sounded sure of himself; he hoped that his voice did not waver like how he felt, “If you want to rid of me, kill me because I won’t flee. I’m tired of being told what to do.”

Jaebum leaned in and Jinyoung automatically scrambled off the bed, “You say you won’t run but isn’t that what you’re doing?” Jaebum shook his head, “You’re running away from everything, _tesoro_.”

“Shut up!” Jinyoung screamed so loud, he thought his throat would split open. How dare Jaebum turn this around? How dare he make this about him? Jinyoung was not the one frolicking about with his ex and being dishonest. Jinyoung was not the one guilty of anything. “Just what do you want? Is this the conversation you wanted to have? Because I’m done with this shit.”

Time froze as they stared each other down – eyes wide open, livid and daring the other to move. The silence was deafening and Jinyoung bit back angry tears. He would not cry because of this; it was not worth shedding a drop of tear. The air trickled with a buzz of hostility as both of them breathed hard, both of them not backing down from the arbitrary war they had started.

Then, to Jinyoung’s utter surprise, it was Jaebum who cracked first – his husband’s expression splintered and something akin to hurt flashed so quickly across his face that Jinyoung thought he imagined it. Yet he was certain that he saw it.

“Jinyoung,” Jaebum breathed out, voice tinged with apology as he closed his eyes for a moment. And when he opened them,  it was back to the eyes Jinyoung was familiar with. He was his husband again; the one who stayed with him at home and not the Don that he was just minutes ago. “Calm down, tesoro.” He said softly. “I’m sorry for lashing out.”

And this sudden shift, this abrupt turn about of sentiments so violently – from scorching hot to freezing cold in an instant made Jinyoung lose his grip on himself. His knees gave out and he slumped on the floor, still clutching the pillow in his hand with a ferocious grip. Jaebum appeared to be very exhausted as well – as if he was as weary and drained as Jinyoung felt.

Jaebum took a step forward and reached out a hand, “Jinyoung, I-”

He was not able to finish when Jinyoung raised a hand up to signal him to _stop_. “Jaebum, stop it. Just-” Jinyoung did not know what to say. They had just exploded at each other and the damage he took was too much. Jinyoung was afraid of what was left to be said. “I’m _tired_. Just, please, leave.”

“No,” Jaebum shook his head sternly. “We will finish this,” he insisted and even with Jinyoung’s pleas of protests, he surged forward and sat in front of Jinyoung on the floor. Jinyoung remained rigid and wary – scared as Jaebum fixed his gaze on him. He sighed, “I’m really sorry, Jinyoung. Please, I’m not going to hurt you.”

His voice was pained and sounded like he was begging Jinyoung – for forgiveness or for something else, Jinyoung was not sure.  But his eyes, it spoke of sincerity and genuineness; it had an edge of something gentle and, Jinyoung would dare say, vulnerability. It floored Jinyoung how Jaebum appeared to be as devastated as him. “I’m not going to hurt you, tesoro.”

And there it was again – the unwelcomed stirring in his heart whenever Jaebum was being extra careful and gentle towards him. He wanted to stomp on it; bury the feeling six feet under the ground but there was no use – he had tried so hard but there was just no stopping it.

“I just don’t understand it.” Jinyoung began in a hushed tone as if afraid that his heart might break and crumble into irreparable pieces the moment he spoke too loud. “I don’t understand you. I don’t understand any of this.”

Jaebum, ever so softly, ever so gently, placed his hands over Jinyoung’s which were still fisting on the pillow. He laid his hands over his husband’s and when Jinyoung did not make any attempt to withdraw, Jaebum enclosed the Jinyoung’s hands in his – easing them to let go of the pillow. “Jinyoung, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to lash out on you but you have to see it from my perspective.”

Jinyoung, of course, did not understand his husband’s point of view. It was not like he did not try; Jaebum was just so cryptic and mercurial that just trying to get to the bottom of their argument was starting to make Jinyoung all the more upset. “But that’s it Jaebum, I don’t get you. I don’t understand anything at all.”

“You mean you do not get why I’m mad?” Jaebum exhaled slowly, “Jinyoung, I’m mad because Jihyun belittled and degraded you and you didn’t say anything to me.” Jaebum’s voice, once again, shook with undertones of irritation and annoyance. However, this time, it was also obvious how he was trying to contain it, to not let it blow and wreck them again.

“Why?” Jinyoung was still confused, “Why does it affect you so much? It’s not like what she said was a lie.”

“Because, Jinyoung,” Jaebum started and continued with a reply that Jinyoung never thought he would have heard – not from anyone and especially not from Jaebum’s own mouth. “I like you more than you think I do, tesoro.”

“What?” Jinyoung replied dumbly but he had the right to do so. Jinyoung did not even have hopes for anything more than friendship; he was completely satisfied with being just friends. What did Jaebum mean by that? It was as vague as it could get.

“It’s exactly what I said,” Jaebum shrugged and he did not look shaken about it at all. “And that means I hate that you just took everything she said and believed it. For fuck’s sake, Jinyoung, it’s not even about that. It’s about you thinking you are what she said you are. Why do you think so lowly of yourself?”

Jinyoung was stunned into silence at that. He had not thought of it at that angle. He was so used to be the one in the wrong, to be the one falling short of everyone’s expectations that he totally missed the point where it might not be him this time. That perhaps, he was just that – plain and simple – he was the victim.

“I-” Jinyoung stuttered, “Is that why you’re mad?”

Jaebum clicked his tongue and tightened his hold on Jinyoung’s hands, “Of course, Jinyoung. You are my husband and I don’t like that you degrade yourself.” Jaebum said sternly then followed it up with a, “Also, she’s wrong. Very, very wrong. I don’t need a son.”

Jinyoung snapped his head up in an instant. He frowned and doubted that he had heard Jaebum right. “Y-you don’t need a son?”

Saying that he was bewildered would be an understatement because this was Jaebum – proud, formidable, indestructible Don of the Im famiglia. He cannot _not_ want a son.

“I don’t know how you view me but I certainly don’t need to. Not if I want,” Jaebum replied. “I know you have a lot of opinions about me but let me make this one clear, a son would only be a target for other famiglias. To be honest, you’re already a handful. I don’t think I’ll want another _burden_ like you.” Jaebum ended his sentence with a slight upturn of lips to indicate that he was making light of the situation, that he did not really mean that Jinyoung was a burden.

Jinyoung was not going to lie – he felt relieved at that. He might have denied it to himself with great willpower but the fact that Jaebum could have wanted a son plagued his mind. It was his traitorous mind and heart which brought all of this turmoil within him and with that simple explanation from his husband – the weight on his shoulder was suddenly lifted.

“You don’t need one? What about the famiglia?”

Jaebum shook his head yet again, “You didn’t want to be involved in the famiglia so I refrained from talking about it. But you should know that my Cosa Nostra isn’t a dynasty. It’s an empire which every Don is selected by the members, fair and square. Everyone has equal chance to be the Don.”

“But you and Jackson,” Jinyoung reasoned, “You both got the position because Seongwoo resigned.”

“We did but it was not automatic. It was through votation, my dear husband.” Jaebum explained, “My men chose me.”

That, Jinyoung did not know. He had completely assumed that the famiglia ran like how he thought every powerful organisation did. Hell, even Jintae’s gang worked like that; his father’s successor would definitely be his sister’s husband. It surprised Jinyoung that such bureaucratic system existed in the underground crime society. Jaebum’s words from before rang loud in Jinyoung’s thoughts, _The underground is more honourable than the system above._

He searched his husband’s face for any hint of dishonesty but he found none. Of course, Jaebum did not lie.

It came to Jinyoung’s realisation that he really just conjured everything up; that he painted Jaebum as the evil boss to a syndicate in an attempt to quench down the budding feelings he did not want to admit. Because how can he fall for someone as evil as Jaebum? That would have to be fucked up. However, deep down, he knew that it was just his lame way to disguise his own downfall.

Jinyoung was truly deep in shit.

“So Jinyoung, do you see it now?” Jaebum prodded, “Jihyun’s a bitch and you should not take her shit.” A pause, and then Jaebum continued with a tone deeper and lower than he was using. “You’re not unworthy, tesoro, and I won’t dispose you just yet. I told you, I like you more than you think I do.”

Jinyoung’s breath hitched and he abruptly closed his eyes. No one had said that to him in such a long time. It hurt; it pained him to hear those words again – that he was worth it, that he was not useless. That perhaps, his existence was needed. The last time he received such confirmation was when he was sobbing through a broken leg and swollen eye, and his own mother was still alive.

She was the only one who aided him when Jintae went overboard. And after she was gone, it was pure nightmare having to live everyday. Jinyoung hated every moment of his life. And even after marrying Jaebum, he still loathed everything although he kept mum. He almost convinced himself that he really was useless, a mistake brought to the world.

It never crossed his mind that out of all people, it was going to be Jaebum who would tell him such. It was too tender; the validation hit too much and Jinyoung finally gave up. He let go.

He reciprocated Jaebum’s hold; he gripped tightly on his husband’s hands, strong and warm and safe. He drew his eyes shut harder as a tear fell down – one, two, until Jinyoung could not count it anymore. He sobbed silently, tears freely flowing from his eyes and unweighing his heavy heart.

Jinyoung was grateful that Jaebum did not speak a single word. His husband kept silent and only intertwined their fingers as an offer of comfort. They stayed like that – holding hands and sitting on the floor with a pillow in between them all the while Jinyoung cried his heart out.

It was not even a cry of despair. No, this time, Jinyoung was crying because he felt wanted – he was relieved. It was such a long, long time ago since he felt this _light._

Once he came down from crying, once he opened his eyes, Jaebum was there in front of him. And even with his blurred out vision, he could see worry etched in the way Jaebum frowned. Jinyoung hiccuped as he tried to regain a normal pace of breathing. It really felt like a huge burden was lifted off him. It was cathartic.

Jinyoung tried to untangle his hand from Jaebum’s to wipe the waterworks at his eyes and cheeks. However, Jaebum seemed to have another idea as he squeezed Jinyoung’s hand and then he himself brought a hand to caress Jinyoung’s face.

Jinyoung’s eyes widened in surprise but Jaebum only gave out a small smile – if it could be considered a smile at all. His husband always looked like he was smirking or sneering. The way Jaebum cradled his face was so soft and gentle that Jinyoung felt the urge to cry again. It was too much.

Then, ever so carefully, Jaebum used his thumb to wipe the tears lining Jinyoung’s lids. It was such a tender gesture; the whole exchange was raw and Jinyoung hurt from the inside.

“Are you feeling better now?” Jaebum asked quietly so as not to startle Jinyoung.

Jinyoung knew that he must have looked like a mess – a very vulnerable prey – but Jaebum was not displaying any intent of aggression now and it was such a stark difference from the Jaebum he faced just minutes ago. The Jaebum earlier appeared too predatory, like seeing Jinyoung broken would make him glee in victory. This Jaebum, however, was full of concern even if he did not say it out loud.

It felt like Jinyoung was married to two different people.

He gave a small nod as he sniffled, the last of the tears stopped falling from his eyes. “I’m fine. I didn’t mean to-” Jinyoung let out a slow and long exhale, “I didn’t mean to cry.”

Jaebum chuckled, “It’s no problem, tesoro.” He continued wiping at Jinyoung’s cheeks, smoothing his thumb over Jinyoung’s face. “I didn’t intend to scare you that much. Forgive me, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung brought his free hand to hold Jaebum’s wrist and shook his head. “It’s not that.”

Their hands fell down to the pillow and once again, Jaebum intertwined them with Jinyoung giving no protest. If truth be told, Jinyoung would say that he liked this display of tenderness from Jaebum. It was _rare_ that they had sessions as intimate as this, so Jinyoung savoured every second. And after their intense emotional tirade, this mercy was very much welcome.

Jaebum cocked his head to the side, “Then what is it? Is it about Jihyun? Because I’ve told you, I don’t need her. She’s the unnecessary one.” Then as if an idea popped in his mind, Jaebum continued with, “Do you want her killed? Just say the word, Jinyoung, and she will be _gone_.”

Jinyoung vehemently shook his head, “No!” He frowned and gave Jaebum a withering stare, “Why do you always think of murdering someone? No one will be killed, Jaebum.”

“I’m just suggesting.” Jaebum said with a slight tugging at the corner of his lip, like he was about to break out into a grin. “Though, I really wouldn’t mind. She’s been pestering me these days.”

“No, Jaebum. You will not kill her. And certainly not _for_ me.” Jinyoung pouted and he tried to pry Jaebum’s hands off his but his husband would not have it and tightened his hold even more.

“Alright, alright.” Jaebum acquiesced. “But don’t think that you’re off the hook. What’s bothering you, tesoro?”

Jinyoung squirmed in his seat, the carpet rough even through his pants. He felt hesitant to talk about his family to Jaebum but what else could go wrong? He had already bawled in front of his husband – what else was there to lose?

He sighed, “I just remembered my mom, that’s all.” And he knew he had caught Jaebum’s attention in the way his husband perked up.

“Your mom?” Jaebum mused.

Jinyoung wondered if Jaebum knew of his mom. After all, the Don had a full background report on him. It would not be a surprise if Jaebum already knew what had happened to her. “Yeah, my mom. I’m sure you already know.”

“I actually don’t.” Jaebum replied honestly, “I know she died when you were what, seven? But that’s all I know. Why? Is there something that I should know?”

Jinyoung bit the inside of his cheek. Ever since her death, no one had brought her up as a topic. Everyone around him, including his father and sister, kept their mouths shut. No one spoke about Park Miyoung or her death. But Jinyoung knew the truth behind it all.

“Do you know how she died, Jaebum?” Jinyoung gripped at Jaebum’s hands. He needed strength to say it. It was going to be the first time Jinyoung will address her mother’s death.

“I think it was suicide? At least that’s what the reports said.” Jaebum answered solemnly. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“No, I need to get this off my chest once and for all.” Jinyoung gulped, “It’s been weighing me down for so long, Jaebum. I need this.”

It was clear that Jaebum was confused. His frown deepened and his mouth was pursed. Of course, there was seemingly no connection between their previous argument to this grave topic at hand. But Jinyoung had perhaps adapted to Jaebum’s fickle personality that he himself threw conversations like this wherever it fit. And really, he needed to unload his thoughts before it consumed him again.

“Yeah, Jintae said it was suicide.” Jinyoung’s voice wavered. “But it’s not. He killed her, Jaebum. Jintae killed my mom.”

Jaebum kept silent but his expression turned dark. His face hardened as he clenched his teeth but it seemed that Jaebum would not speak a word, so Jinyoung took it as a sign to continue.

It was hard – he had not told anyone about it. Jinyoung knew that everyone was aware; he was sure that his sister knew of the truth. But no one ever spoke a word, fearing that Jintae might come after them. Even Jinyoung, he was ashamed that he kept silent for so long.

“He beat her to death.” Jinyoung drew in a shaky breath. God, how he hated Jintae for existing. “He killed her, Jaebum.”

He dry heaved as hatred for the man he called father racked him from head to toe. _God,_ Park Jintae was a monster.

“It’s very unfortunate that you had to go through that,” Jaebum finally spoke, “But you have to understand one thing, Jinyoung. I am not your father and I won’t hurt you. Ever.”

Jinyoung felt Jaebum squeeze his hands once more and he believed him. He believed Jaebum. It might be all sorts of wrong and ironic, but it was his husband who offered Jinyoung safety even from the beginning.

“I know.” He muttered under his breath.

Jaebum clicked his tongue again, however. “Jinyoung, I’m not kidding this time. Just say the word and your father-” He cut himself and shook his head, “No, he’s not your father. He doesn’t deserve to be that. I mean, just say the word and that fucker will die. You hear me?”

Jinyoung, this time, did not abhor the idea. His father deserved to die a painful death like his mother did. But still, all Jinyoung wanted was to move on past all of his shit and not be affected anymore. Killing him would only prove otherwise.

“I’m grateful that you would go to such lengths, Jaebum. I really am. But no killing anyone for me, remember.”

Jaebum sighed and stared at Jinyoung with a look that was indecipherable. His body lost tension and they just gazed at each other like that – enveloped in silence and gauging the damage they had done to each other.

The air around them shifted and Jinyoung felt something else had changed too. This time, Jinyoung had laid everything bare to Jaebum and he knew that his husband was smart enough to understand everything that entailed his explanation. It would take no effort for Jaebum to connect the dots and realise that Jinyoung’s loneliness and self-doubt stemmed from Jintae; that Jinyoung’s prejudice and loathing for the underground world was all because of his father.

Now, Jinyoung was as transparent as he can be.

But instead of feeling vulnerable, like how he thought he would – the reason why he had built walls and stayed at arms length from everyone – Jinyoung felt relieved.

Jaebum was not Park Jintae.

 

 

 

The next day, Jinyoung yet again received a call from an unknown number. He had an inkling that it would be Jihyun and so, he immediately swiped decline.

It took a few seconds before his phone rang for the second time and Jinyoung just declined the call once again. But then, it rang again and again and again.

Jinyoung had enough and he turned the device off. If Jaebum happened to call and wanted to get through him, he would just have to get back home. Jinyoung smiled at the thought of Jaebum rushing home out of worry.

However, not even ten minutes after, a servant rushed to his side saying that someone was waiting for him at their household line. He really did not want to talk to Jihyun but he deduced that the woman would not stop calling him. And who knows what else she would do if he continued ignoring her.

And so, to put an end to her pestering, Jinyoung took the phone.

“Hello?”

“You bitch!” _Ah, so it really is her_ , Jinyoung thought. “What did you tell Jaebum? Huh? What lie did you tell him?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jihyun-ssi.”

“You liar!” She screamed and it hurt Jinyoung’s ear. “You must have talked shit about me! He came to Yongguk about me and said something about violating Cosa Nostra rules. Fuck that! You did something, didn’t you?”

Jinyoung broke out into a smile. So Jaebum took the matter in a more civilised way. He did not know if Jihyun did break a rule in Jaebum’s book but he was glad that it sent the woman into a frenzy. He made a mental note to ask Jaebum to involve him more in the mafia.

Now that Jinyoung trusted Jaebum more than ever, he was willing to get to know his famiglia too. Perhaps not involve himself directly, but it would be nice to learn things about it. After all, it was an extension of his husband.

“Are you listening to me?” Jihyun screeched. “You think you’ve won, don’t you? Well, you don’t! And I’m going to make you regret this!”

Jinyoung sighed, “I didn’t say anything untrue to _my_ husband, Jihyun-ssi. And maybe look in the mirror, would you? You’ll see that you are the vile bitch between us.” He clicked his tongue, a habit he picked up from Jaebum, and continued, “Goodbye, Jihyun. I don’t want to hear from you again.”

He gave the phone back to the servant with a big smile.

The day was going to be good and he would not let a whiny bitch ruin it.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone!  
> So I'm back. :)))  
> I know, I know, it's the middle of the week but I can't resist writing? lmao And I've been really down last week but now I'm all fine so what better way than to update, right? Right?
> 
> To be honest, this chapter was so hard to write? like it's emotional and i'm not good with emotions lmao i'm like Jaebum in this au with "Let's just kill everyone, yeah?" mentality ahahaha JOKE I AM NO MURDERER :DD
> 
> So yeah, that's it. It's 8k words of pure JJP :)))  
> Tell me what you think? I love love hearing from you, guys.  
> Drop in the comments your thoughts or talk to me in [twitter](https://twitter.com/crudescere) or [cc](https://curiouscat.me/crudescere)


	13. Chapter 13

XIII

  

Omnia vincit amor: et nos cedamus amori

(Love conquers all: let us too surrender to love)

\- Eclogues, 10, 69, Virgil

 

 

Jinyoung fidgeted as he leaned by the kitchen counter, shifting his weight from one foot to another in a clear sign of restlessness. It was Sunday and the whole family had just finished attending mass. It felt like months had passed since the last time saw the others but of course, that was not it. It had been mere days but Jinyoung desperately wanted to be in Youngjae’s presence rather than spend the remainder of the morning making lunch with Hyejin.

Jinyoung surveyed the huge kitchen he was in – it was every bit of sophisticated and advanced yet it oozed kindness and a sense of _home_ that made Jinyoung feel warm inside. He closed his eyes and recounted the happenings that led him there, waiting for Hyejin to come from where she excused herself for a bit.

The day started like any other Sunday – with a servant knocking at his door and waking up Jinyoung far earlier than he would have liked. He almost went back to sleep, groaning that he did not feel like going to church, before a deep voice jolted him awake. However, instead of getting out of bed like he should, Jinyoung buried himself deeper into the covers with a faint smile. After the confrontation – if it can even be called a confrontation; it was far too tender and raw to be one – Jaebum had treated him seemingly the same. He was still the aloof man that Jinyoung had married but at the same time, it was as if he was melting at the edges; sharp angles somehow softening into something that brought about tingling sensations in the pit of Jinyoung’s stomach.

But he needed to remind himself that he still hated Jaebum, especially when he did stuff like this. It was all his fault that Jinyoung would be stuck in the same room with Hyejin and to what – _cook_? God knows, Jinyoung could not be trusted in the kitchen. He had once burnt a ramen, for goodness’ sake. How dare Jaebum thrust him to the wolves? Not that he thought of Hyejin as a wolf – no, the woman was a lioness and Jinyoung feared for his life at the moment more than he had ever feared for anything in his short lived existence.

The moment their car stopped at the Im manor, like how it did every Sunday for the family’s weekly lunches, Jaebum had asked him what he thought of Hyejin. Jinyoung should have considered that as the first warning sign because the question was totally out of the blue. But like the ignorant creature that he was, he just replied with a _Your mom? She’s pretty scary but then again, all of you are. Except for Youngjae, he’s an angel._ His husband only raised a handsome brow at his response and spoke no further. However, when they stepped out of the vehicle, Jaebum immediately walked up to his mother to whisper something, leaving Jinyoung standing dumbly for a few seconds before beckoning him to come closer. That was the second warning sign his brain should have picked up. And at that moment, everyone else turned their heads to look at him.

It was very weird and ridiculous – when Bambam abruptly stopped arguing with Yugyeom, the way Youngjae almost dropped Coco, and even Mark and Jackson who were minding their own business, as if discussing a very private and important matter at the corner, paused to look at him. It was unnerving yet hilarious to witness the country’s most ferocious men gawking at him as he walk towards Hyejin out on the lawn. But in hindsight, Jinyoung should have taken that as the third warning sign.

“Would you help me, Jinyoung?” Hyejin greeted him with a motherly smile. She held a hand towards Jinyoung and he really had no choice but to take it. Hyejin was still someone that made Jinyoung nervous. Sure, she appeared amicable and harmless but he had witnessed him bring down the made men to their knees, even Jaebum, with just a glare and a few words. So when she said _Come with me_ right after Jinyoung placed his hand on hers, Jinyoung did not have the courage to _not_ follow along.

And his husband – Jaebum just gave him a lopsided smile and mouthed _Good luck._

That should have been the final warning but Jinyoung had never picked up the signs and that left him stuck in the kitchen, dreading the moment Hyejin will step in and slave him around.

The things he heard from his husband and the rest did not help him one bit. They said that Hyejin was severely strict, borderline dictatorial, when it came to the kitchen. He vaguely recalled Youngjae saying that even if Seongwoo commanded the famiglia and the house, the kitchen was solely Hyejin’s territory. The place was her own empire.

To say that Jinyoung was daunted would be an understatement. He was scared.

He was brought out of his grim thoughts when Hyejin entered the kitchen with Mark in tow. “Sorry, Mark was having a talk with Jackson and made me wait.” She huffed and pouted at Mark which would totally have been ridiculous considering that she was well into her years but did not. Hyejin was too beautiful to be ridiculous. “Kids these days.” She shook her head in exasperation, “You were much cuter when you paid more attention to me than to my son, Mark.”

Mark grinned widely at the woman and Jinyoung was taken aback. He had seen Mark only be calm and collected, and maybe a little bit mad that time when he was getting a bullet out of Jaebum’s flesh. But he had never seen him smile this bright – always silent and observant. And even when he was around Jaebum or the others, he had only displayed small upward tugs of the lips.

This was something else. Even with Jackson, the consigliere seemed to be always in a frown. Come to think of it, Jinyoung had thought once that Mark and Jaebum were more alike than Jaebum and Jackson were. Mark would definitely pass off as Jaebum’s brother with his equally impassive face. However, as the man continued to smile at Hyejin, Jinyoung was baffled. Just how many facades do these made men have?

“I would never prefer Jackson over you, Mā Mā.” Mark chuckled and went to open the massive refrigerator. “What are you going to cook?”

“Bring out everything. We’re going to have a feast and Jinyoung, here, will help us.” Hyejin said while she tied her dark hair in a bun. She then grabbed an apron for herself and another for Jinyoung, “You should wear this. It’s going to be a shame if you ruined that handsome suit.”

Jinyoung reluctantly donned the apron. It was weird to put it mildly – Mark with his more than a hundred dollar suit and Hyejin with her equally expensive dress and stilettos, and him in a suit Jaebum bought. It was almost comical how they were all wearing frilly aprons over clothes that could probably feed an orphanage for weeks. And goodness, the woman was still wearing high heels in the kitchen as she sharpened a big knife using a Japanese whetstone. The sight of Hyejin handling the blade with such expertise made Jinyoung wary of her true identity. She appeared to have _really_ acquainted herself with the object and Jinyoung made a mental note not to piss her off, ever. She might be just as deadly as the mafiosi surrounding her.

Mark, Jinyoung noticed, looked like he was in his element though it was odd considering that he gave advice to Jaebum regarding their illegal exploits. He started washing and scrubbing the vegetables in a very fluid and graceful manner. It was obvious that he and Hyejin had been doing this for a while now since their familiarity was evident in the way they communicated without much words, using body language to express their needs.

“Come here, Jinyoung.” Hyejin said after noticing that Jinyoung was just idling at the corner and watching them with painful awkwardness. “Help me get this stews ready. We need you to work. There’re mouths to feed, and starving mouths they are.” She shook her head in fondness, however, instead of annoyance. “Those men eat like they’ve been starved for days.”

Jinyoung carefully approached the two, not knowing how he could help. “Uhm, I don’t really know how to cook?”

Hyejin eyed him for a moment; she raked his person from head to foot, as if measuring him up, as if contemplating his worth. It was daunting and he fought against flinching and maybe just ducking away. The woman was intimidating; he now knew where Jaebum got his intimidating personality from – definitely not from Seongwoo.

“Well then, help Mark clean and peel those vegetables. I’m hoping you can do at least that?” Hyejin’s brow rose as she challenged him.

Jinyoung mentally cursed Jaebum again. He promised that he will get back to his husband for this.

Mark looked at him curiously, wondering what he would do. As if there was another way, Jinyoung wanted to roll his eyes. Of course, there was no other response acceptable in their current situation. What Hyejin wanted, Hyejin got. So, Jinyoung nodded and went towards the consigliere. Mark gave him an amused expression before handing a knife over.

And so, Jinyoung started peeling the potatoes before him – hoping that he would not cut his hand in the process.

It was silent for the next minutes, with only the sounds of the pots boiling with stews and knives thudding on the chopping board. Jinyoung was grateful that Mark was present for the consigliere guided him in what to do. From cutting vegetables, to making sauces, to preparing the meat – Mark assisted him quietly. Jinyoung was also thankful for the other's presence since that made up for a buffer system between him and Hyejin. Heaven knows how stifling it would be if it were just them two.

Jinyoung was snapped out of his thoughts when Hyejin asked him, “Can you scoop out some of that broth and put it in a separate pot?”

Jinyoung immediately agreed although not understanding what for. He noticed Mark doing the same and he copied him.

As if hearing his unspoken question, Mark explained, “This one’s for Jackson.” However, Jinyoung only got more confused and Mark must have noticed the way he scrunched up his face in further question because the consigliere continued, “And that is for Jaebum.”

The answer did not help Jinyoung reach any understanding at all. He looked at the pot in his hand, filled with steaming hot broth. What did Jaebum need a separate soup stock for?

“You really don’t know Jaebum at all, do you?” Hyejin stated as she stirred in some chicken into her wok of vegetables. “It’s fine. I understand that Jaebum is a very secretive kid.” Jinyoung wanted to scoff. Jaebum was nothing if not secretive, alright. “Now, would you put extra spice and chilli in that? Jaebum likes his food really spicy but the rest of us prefer it mildly. And Jackson,” She shook her head with a gentle smile adorning her lips, “That boy can’t tolerate even a drop of spice so he gets a separate soup as well.”

 _Oh_. Now that Jinyoung thought about it, the food at their house had always been spicy. He even had, at one point, asked their cook to lessen the heat that always burned his tongue but it did not occur to him that it had been like that since Jaebum preferred his food, well, really spicy. It again proved just how much he had only thought of himself, not sparing a moment to properly observe and _know_ Jaebum.

He winced. So much for his mission of peeling Jaebum’s layers off. Knowing that his husband owned a lion did not help anything if he remained oblivious to the more important, albeit little, things regarding his husband.

Jinyoung carefully added the amount of chilli flakes and powder Hyejin had instructed him and he hoped that he had not butchered the soup. If Jaebum died out of food poisoning, surely, he cannot he blamed, right? He was only acting under the strict control of Im Hyejin after all.

After that, Jinyoung helped along with more chopping and more stirring. Hyejin had the mind to keep him far away from the frying pans, giving the bulk of the work to Mark who deep fried like he was born to do it.

Although, it was the clean up that Jinyoung made himself useful. He washed the pans, pots and utensils Hyejin and Mark used to make their delicious lunch; he scrubbed spilled liquids and sauces off the marble countertops to prevent staining.

Jinyoung would not admit it but cooking with Hyejin and Mark was not so bad. After the initial awkwardness, and fear, it was quite enjoyable and the talks they shared were nice as well.

It was a breath of fresh air not having to talk or be reminded about the mafia. Mark acted like he was a normal guy, charming and full of pleasant smiles. And Hyejin was a really admirable woman – she was strict, yes, but not overly so and she accepted Jinyoung’s shortcomings in the kitchen with a motherly smile. He envied Jaebum and Jackson, even Mark and Bambam, for having her as their mother.

Jinyoung had never been able to bond with his mom like this as they spent time mostly in solitude – crying in each other’s arms and plastering bandages over wounds and bruises.

He quickly shook the unbidden thoughts away. It was in the past and he can never turn back time. Hell, he did not even want to return back to it – the experience too painful and horrifying. No, Jinyoung would not wish to relive his days under Jintae’s hands, no matter how much he missed his mother.

Jinyoung swallowed the ugly feeling down, holding on to the words Jaebum had said that night.

_You’re my husband, tesoro. You’re now part of my family and we won’t hurt you, ever._

 

 

The lunch was a loud affair, as usual, with Bambam and Jackson talking over anyone that spoke. It was turning out to be a fun affair and in moments like this, Jinyoung could almost forget that the men at the table were all made.

He took a spoonful of the stew Hyejin made and his eyes widened in shock at how delicious it was. Damn, the woman had every right to rule over the house, even the world, if this was how she cooked.

While he was having a moment with his food, Jinyoung felt a warm hand rest gently on his thigh. That gesture would have made him jerk or flinch weeks ago but now, it only made Jinyoung’s breath hitch. He heard Jaebum say, “Enjoying the food, tesoro?”

Jinyoung only turned his head and raised a brow as if to say _What do you think, dumbass?_ with the spoon still stuck in between his lips.

Jaebum chuckled in response, “You know, it’s a big deal around here to be invited into the kitchen by Hyejin. Even Seongwoo can’t enter without losing a limb.” He gave a lazy grin after and retracted his hand that was becoming a comfortable weight on Jinyoung’s thigh.

Jinyoung directed his brain to stop thinking about the sudden loss of warmth because that was ridiculous. He, instead, focused on what his husband had said, “You mean, you’re not allowed there? But Mark?”

“Hyejin loves Mark,” Jaebum stated simply and shrugged.

If Jinyoung would correlate and form analogies to that, he would end up with an answer that Hejin loved him too. After all, Jaebum had said, no one was allowed in the woman’s territory aside from Mark whom she loved. And if Jinyoung was allowed there as well – did that mean? But no, that was impossible since he had not spent much time with Hyejin before this; all their interactions quick and polite, always in the presence of other people. So what was all of this about?

Jinyoung frowned, “But you must have said something to her.” Then remembering Jaebum’s previous actions that morning, he hissed, “If you asked her to do that, I swear to God.”

“No, she was the one who requested it, tesoro.” Jaebum said before drinking his soup straight from the bowl, “Damn, this is good. Tell me which food you made or did you just assisted in everything?”

Jinyoung felt his face grow hot. “That soup. I made that soup,” he muttered under his breath.

Jaebum stopped mid-slurp. He looked very much surprised and a slow smirk found its way on his face. “Well, well. Jackson did say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and I think you’re starting off pretty strong, my dear husband.”

Jinyoung froze in his seat. Did he really hear what he thought he did? Was Jaebum flirting with him? Jinyoung was at a loss of what to say and the smug expression his husband wore did not help the butterflies that were currently taking hold of his chest and stomach. _God_ , he wanted to slap Jaebum’s annoying smirk off his face.

“Shut up,” he managed to say. And in attempt to save face, he added, “Be careful of what you eat. I may just put poison in your food, who knows.”

Jaebum looked impressed at his retort and went back to eating – more like inhaling – his food. Jinyoung, on the other hand, was too embarrassed to continue with his meal.

 

 

The next week that followed, Jinyoung was positive that Jaebum was planning on murdering him. His husband was doing all sorts of things that made his blood pressure spike and heart skip. It was getting more and more difficult to breathe around Jaebum and he now dreaded every moment of the day – fearing to bump into his husband who just kept on toying with him.

It all started with Jaebum’s new found habit of cornering him. At first, Jinyoung thought it to be accidental when his husband caged him from behind in the library. Jinyoung was putting back the books he had finished reading, humming softly a tune Jaebum played at the piano two nights before. He was contemplating on what to read next, thinking of asking his husband for suggestions, when he suddenly felt a solid frame enclosing in on his space from behind. His humming stopped abruptly and before he could freak out, Jaebum’s familiar smell – like forest after the rain, woodsy and masculine – surrounded him. Jinyoung paused in his mission of putting the books back to their respective places and turned his head to look at Jaebum.

To his confusion, however, Jaebum just shrugged in reply when he cocked his head to the side in question. And then, good heavens, Jaebum plucked the novel Jinyoung was holding out of his hand and returned it to the shelf himself – pressing Jinyoung forward as he leaned in and effectively further caging him in the process.

Jinyoung sucked in a sharp breath, “What are you doing, Jaebum?” He was proud of himself for coming up with a coherent sentence. The Lord knew just how much he wanted to pass out because his husband was suddenly all up in his personal space.

“I’m helping you return the books, can’t you see?” Jaebum replied with a teasing tone and Jinyoung did not have to see his face to know that his husband was wearing a smug grin.

“I can do it myself. Step back, please.” Jinyoung fought the urge to beg. He was so damn near to actually having a heart attack.

Jaebum clicked his tongue, “Then where’s the fun in that, tesoro?”

Jinyoung wanted to scream, slap Jaebum and then scream some more. His husband was seriously starting to get annoying. Jinyoung did not know which version of Jaebum he liked more: the distant and icy Don he had married before, the one that did not seem to care about him; or this insanely infuriating version that happened to get under his skin every time he was around.

Either version appeared to be bad for his health over all. Both Jaebums drove him mad.

Jinyoung huffed and shoved Jaebum away from him. He glared at his husband who was only looking at him funny, “Will you please cut it out? I don’t like playing your games, Jaebum.”

Jaebum chuckled in response before walking out of the library and leaving Jinyoung in the company of dusty books.

 

 

The next time something like that happened, it almost gave Jinyoung a stroke. And it was not an exaggeration this time; Jinyoung really thought that he was going to die when Jaebum came back home blood-soaked again – like the night when he came home with a bullet to the shoulder.

Jinyoung immediately sprang from his position in the couch living room and went to Jaebum’s side with so much worry, he thought he was going to faint.

“Oh my god, Jaebum! Are you alright?” He exclaimed and quickly scanned his husband for any wounds.

Jaebum held out a hand, signalling him to stop coming any closer. “Don’t come near, you’ll get yourself dirty,” he winced and Jinyoung fumed at the response.

Who the hell cared about being dirty when his husband was dripping with blood at their entryway?

“Jesus, Jaebum,” Jinyoung shakily breathed. “Is Mark or Jackson with you?” Jinyoung ignored Jaebum’s protests of shooing him away as he embraced his husband’s side, putting the other’s arm over his shoulder to offer support. “Are you hurting anywhere?”

Jaebum chuckled, “Stop it, Jinyoung. I’m alright.” However, as soon as the words escaped his lips, he winced again. “Okay, maybe my ribs are bruised and I have a knife wound in my thigh but they’re nothing serious. At least not serious enough to warrant Mark.” Jaebum directed them to his chambers and truth be told, Jinyoung was worried despite his husband’s claims – because it was mostly Jinyoung who carried Jaebum up the stairs and to his room; his husband seemed to be unable to use his right leg. Jinyoung immediately mentally  listed all the things he would need in cleaning whatever damage Jaebum had incurred for the day.

“Damn it, Jaebum,” Jinyoung coughed out as he deposited his husband unceremoniously on the chair beside the bed after Jaebum’s protest of not wanting to soil his bedsheets. “Do not make this a habit. I don’t want to receive a bloody husband regularly as if it’s the most normal thing in the world.”

“I’m a mafioso, tesoro,” Jaebum said slowly as if talking to a child. “This is not a habit. This is my life.”

At that, Jinyoung flinched visibly. The past few days had been too normal that he forgot the horrors of the world he lived in. He actually let it slip off his mind – the fact that his husband’s job entailed killing or being the one killed. The sudden slap of reality stung and Jinyoung felt ashamed of himself for thinking that everything was going so well.

Jinyoung clenched his fists and returned to the problem at hand – Jaebum’s wounds. He would deal with the guilt later.

“I’m going to get the first aid kit. Wait for me.” He said before leaving Jaebum’s presence.

As he hurriedly strode through the hallways, Jinyoung could not help but wonder if this was going to be a regular thing – Jaebum coming home in the dead of the night with blood dripping off him, his own or someone else’s.

It was morbid, horrible and he did not think that he would get used to it. It was bad enough that he was getting desensitised with all the killing going around, it was worse to get accustomed to the thought of Jaebum dying. Because no one could be certain, no one could be sure. Chills went down Jinyoung spine at the possibility of Jaebum not coming home one day. Or that he would come back only to die in front of Jinyoung.

That was something he did not want to experience, ever. However, he knew there was no way of preventing that. As Jaebum said, he was a mafioso and this was simply how his life went. And it was not like his husband was the only one facing death in the face every time. Jackson, Mark and everyone else did too. Jinyoung took a deep breath to ground himself – he did not want anyone in his _family_ to die.

Yes, Jinyoung had given up and accepted the love offered to him by the made men around. They had given him a place in their family and not just as Jaebum’s husband; they were treating him more than that.

And the fact that Jinyoung was welcoming them with open arms now made him stop in his tracks. If he wanted them safe and alive – then did that mean he wanted all of their victims dead?

In hoping that Jaebum would not one day crumble and fall, he was indirectly hurting all the innocent people affected by the mafia, right? _Oh God_. Was Jinyoung really losing his morals for the sake of Jaebum and his family?

But the sight of Youngjae smiling, Bambam and Yugyeom bickering, Jackson and Mark dancing around each other; even Seongwoo with his quiet strength and Hyejin with his motherly warmth – they were not evil, Jinyoung had concluded. They seemed like a normal tight knit family; or was Jinyoung purposely being blind to their darker side? After all, when Jinyoung asked Jaebum to keep him away from all mafia business, his husband really did. And that made him overlook all of the bad things happening outside their beautiful, huge home.

 _Fuck_. What was he supposed to do now?

Hurriedly grabbing the first aid kit from the cabinet in his own room – the kit in Jaebum’s bathroom ran out of its contents when he was shot at the shoulder and had not been refilled yet – Jinyoung rushed back to Jaebum’s room.

Contemplating over his morals that were quickly slipping away could be dealt later as well; he had a bleeding husband to take care of first.

When Jinyoung returned to Jaebum’s room, however, he found the chair empty as he simultaneously heard water splashing from the bathroom. Jinyoung cursed under his breath, why can Jaebum not keep still for a moment, for goodness’ sake.

“Jaebum,” Jinyoung called from outside the bathroom door, “Just what are you doing in there?”

“Taking a shower, what else?” Jaebum’s voice was almost drowned by the sound of rushing water. “Just occupy yourself for a minute. I’ll be done soon.”

Jinyoung cursed under his breath and kicked at the bathroom door before plopping himself on Jaebum’s bed. His husband was just so insufferable. Jinyoung had not been gone for long; Jaebum’s need to always do things his way was too much. Why could he not just wait for Jinyoung to be back before limping his way to the shower? And _oh God, what if he slipped? He’s such a pain in the ass_ , Jinyoung thought.

He turned his head to the chair beside the bed that was now stained with blood. He felt sorry for the chair – it would probably be thrown out now that it had been dirtied. Jaebum worked that way; he threw stuff that he deemed useless in the blink of an eye. His husband just shrugged and told him _I work hard to have the money I spend, Jinyoung_. _I can afford it_ when he had asked why he was wasting so much stuff that were still, well, useable.

Jinyoung sighed. Jaebum was all sorts of ridiculous.

The door to the bathroom creaked open and the sight that greeted Jinyoung made his heart lurch.

Jaebum stood there with a towel wrapped around his waist and a sheen of water glistening his naked torso. Now, it was not the first time he had witnessed Jaebum be shirtless, but the last time he did was definitely some time ago that he had forgotten just how _beautiful_ his husband was. It wa made worse when Jaebum shook his head to cast off the excess water in his hair, sending rivulets around his person and some dripping down his face, neck, and _chest._

Jinyoung was not going to lie to himself, Jaebum’s chest has got to be his favourite feature out all of Jaebum’s body – well, excluding the eyes; those evil slits made him shiver every time it was focused on him.

Jinyoung sat absolutely still on Jaebum’s bed, calming himself and praying to all the gods that he was not blushing, as his husband sat beside him. Jaebum had limped throughout the small distance between the bathroom and the bed; and when he was finally seated beside Jinyoung, towel hiking up along his strong and thick thighs – the gash became visible.

Jinyoung removed all sorts of inappropriate thoughts that creeped out from nowhere and directed all of his attention towards the deep-looking knife wound at Jaebum’s thigh. It was long and serrated, it looked so painful. No wonder his husband was limping.

“Jaebum!” Jinyoung exclaimed, “This is deep. We should get Mark here. This obviously needs to be stitched.”

“That’s what the kit is for, Jinyoung,” Jaebum simply said. “Hand it over, tesoro.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened at the implication. “Don’t tell me you’re going to sew it yourself. You’re crazy.”

Jaebum only narrowed his eyes at him and Jinyoung then understood that his husband was not kidding. _What in the world?_

Yet, Jinyoung did hand the kit to Jaebum who immediately looked for a needle and the threads. Jinyoung realised that his husband was just going to stitch the wound close – just like that.

Jinyoung abruptly snatched the kit away from Jaebum and floundered for antiseptics and antibiotics. His husband be damned, if he had learned anything from Mark, it was about proper wound care. He will not let Jaebum sew it over without properly cleansing the nasty opening.

Jinyoung started dabbing and prodding at the gash and just like before, when he cleaned off Jaebum’s bullet wound, his husband hissed from the sting of the antiseptic. However, when Jinyoung peered at Jaebum to check his expression, he found the Don looking amused at him.

“You’re becoming adept at this thing,” Jaebum said.

Jinyoung rolled his eyes in response, “Of course, I am. You’re a walking death trap, you know?”

“What have I told you about rolling your eyes at me, husband?” Jaebum clicked his tongue in annoyance but he continued with, “A death trap, huh? I guess you’ll just have to be used to it.”

That was the last thing Jinyoung wanted – to get used to it. He sighed knowing that that was the inescapable truth. After deeming that the wound was thoroughly cleaned, Jinyoung looked at Jaebum. “What now?”

Jaebum grinned, “Here comes the fun part.” He straightened up in his seat, “Hand me a towel.”

Jinyoung did not know what for but he did. Jaebum rolled the small hand towel and to Jinyoung’s surprise, he placed the towel between his teeth and bit down on it.

The next thing that happened, Jinyoung almost screamed.

To his sheer horror, Jaebum started sewing on his thigh – needle digging into the flesh before curving up to be removed; the white thread becoming stained a deep red. Blood started to pool at the periphery of the actual wound from the needle; and at every plunge of the sharp metal, Jaebum groaned in pain and clamped harder down on the towel at his mouth.

Jinyoung was losing his shit. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Jaebum turned at him and raised a brow, nudging his head a little towards his wound as if to say _I’m closing it, idiot_ , before returning back to the terrifying process of suturing the gash up.

“Why wouldn’t you let Mark do it? Shit, Jaebum, you should have let Mark do it! He’s a professional,” Jinyoung panicked. “He would have at least given you some anaesthesia!”

Jaebum stopped what he was doing, removing the towel from his mouth and leaving the needle stuck upright – midflesh. “Will you please shut up?” He snapped.

Jinyoung was rattled with anxiety, horror and amazement to register Jaebum’s irritated tone. “But, Jaebum! You can’t just stitch yourself up like that.”

“Would you do it for me, then?” Jaebum challenged to which Jinyoung, of course, backed away. “I thought so. Now, be quiet or get out. This is painful enough without you distracting me.”

Jinyoung let out an indignant whimper. He was only being worried, Jaebum did not have to be an ass. He huffed in the unfairness of it all. He did not leave, though. Jinyoung had stayed and watched as Jaebum pierce his thigh and drag the thread through the flesh.

After gruelling minutes of Jinyoung holding his breath in, afraid to make any noise in case Jaebum got startled and dragged the needle the wrong way, his husband finished with his handiwork.

Jaebum looked satisfied at his art and Jinyoung would admit that the stitches looked decent, especially from someone who did killing as a job and not saving. No, Jaebum would definitely _not_ pass as a doctor.

“Are you sulking, tesoro?” Jaebum asked, mirth accompanying his tone and the previous irritation gone. It almost appeared that he was enjoying Jinyoung’s sullen mood. “Relax, Jinyoung. This isn’t anything new. I have been stitching myself since I was a teenager. No need to fuss.”

“Still. It isn’t okay to do what you did,” Jinyoung huffed.

“Did I scare you, Jinyoung?” Jaebum’s lips stretched into an evil grin. “Tell me, did I?” His voice dropped into a dangerously low level as he focused his gaze on Jinyoung.

Jinyoung’s breath hitched again but this time, it was due to a completely different reason. Jaebum was eyeing him with a sinister expression and he did not know if he should run and flee. And as if that was not uncomfortable enough, his husband decided to lean in.

Call it bad luck or absence of foresight, but Jinyoung just so happened to sit right beside the headboard – and when Jaebum leaned in, more like prowled, on his personal space, Jinyoung literally stopped breathing. Caught by surprise, all he could do was back away until he hit the board. _Shit_.

In their current position, Jaebum was almost pinning him securely against the bed’s headboard. And even if there was no actual physical contact, his husband’s proximity was enough for Jinyoung to feel Jaebum’s body heat – and it was all made worse by the fact that Jaebum was only wearing a towel.

Jaebum’s hair was still wet, albeit the dripping had stopped, and it hung over his sharp eyes – the blackness of it complimented the deep dark orbs of his husband’s intense stare. It was so severe, it was almost a glare.

And good heavens, Jinyoung clutched lightly at the sheets because Jaebum did not seem to care that he was shirtless and cornering Jinyoung like it was the most mundane of things. Jinyoung fought hard not to let his eyes wander down Jaebum’s figure but it was so damned difficult and when the Don shifted even closer, thighs spreading a little – the towel Jaebum wore ever so minimally hitched higher.

Dear Jesus, Jinyoung prayed – _Please, let there be an underwear beneath that towel._

Jinyoung visibly gulped and he stuttered, “W-what are you doing, Jaebum?”

“Well, what do you think?” He whispered against Jinyoung’s ears.

Jinyoung felt shivers ran across his entire body and he clutched harder at Jaebum’s sheets. “You’re too close.”

“Oh yeah?”

Jinyoung closed his eyes shut and turned his head away from Jaebum’s _really_ close one – it would only take a little nod and their faces would touch. And no, that cannot happen.

That would be a disaster.

Jinyoung has not breathed yet and he was starting to strain. He was positive that he was turning blue in the face but he kept holding his breath in. The silence that suddenly enveloped them making the atmosphere more suffocating.

And when Jaebum let out a low growl, Jinyoung choked – literally and embarrassingly.

He exploded into a fit of coughs and wheezes; it was painful and not to mention pathetic. Jinyoung felt his eyes water and he was thankful that he had been seated or else he would have fallen face first on the ground with how his whole body shook and spasmed.

Jaebum, on the other hand, burst out laughing. He leaned back, arms supporting his weight, as he threw his head backwards in a loud series of cackling. And despite his sheer enjoyment of Jinyoung’s almost death, Jinyoung could not prevent but admire his husband’s laughing face.

It was the first time Jaebum had displayed such genuine and unguarded expression in front of him. So far, he had only ever received smirks and grins if not frowns and looks of disappointment. And oh God, even when his life flashed before his eyes, all he could think of was that Jaebum was really, really beautiful.

Shit. He was in deep shit.

Forcing himself to be pissed, Jinyoung creased his brows and glared at Jaebum with all his might. He had his fists clenched at the side and he severely wanted to punch Jaebum in his annoying face.

“Fuck you, Jaebum,” He hissed.

Jaebum came down from his laughter high and only kept looking amused. “You almost died there, tesoro.”

Jinyoung gritted his teeth and in a moment of courage, which he did not know where he got, he pushed Jaebum hard – his husband fell backwards, caught off guard by Jinyoung’s unexpected attack.

Jinyoung then stood abruptly and said his last words for the night. He was exhausted dealing with Jaebum.

“I really, really hate you!”

Jinyoung immediately ran out of Jaebum’s room as soon as the words left his mouth, not even looking back to see how his husband might have reacted. He slammed the door shut behind him and almost ran towards his own room. _Almost._

 

 

The next day, Mark and Jackson _barged_ into their home. Jinyoung considered it as such since the made men never gave a heads up whenever they decided to drop by – as the same went to Bambam, Yugyeom and Youngjae; they were all free of passage since the moment Jaebum thought that more made men in the house, the safer Jinyoung would be. He scoffed at the idea because surely, he could fight better than Youngjae; Bambam and Yugyeom will be too engrossed with each other, either bickering or undressing each other, to actually be of some protection. Mark and Jackson were great options but Jackson seemed to not care about him much and would definitely enjoy feeding him to the wolves – honestly, Jinyoung mused that Jackson only tolerated him because of Jaebum; Mark was not all bad but he still had some suspicions regarding the consigliere.

To keep it short, Jinyoung appreciated the fact that he had more people to interact with now than before but the habit of their friends dropping by all so sudden and unannounced was weird. It made him feel that their house was a mafia hang out of some sorts.

Mark and Jackson’s visit for the day was very much awaited, however. Jinyoung had called Mark the night before and requested him to check on Jaebum because no matter how much the wound had seemed clean enough, the stitches looked decent enough and Jaebum’s claims that it was not serious – Jinyoung still worried and he would like some assurance from a real doctor. Which Mark was.

What he did not expect, though, was Jackson coming in supported by Mark at the side and dressed with a heavy bandage surrounding his head.

Apparently, Jackson had sustained a head injury during their scuffle – they actually termed it as _scuffle_ as if it was not anything serious and Jinyoung was torn between feeling horrifyingly worried and downright pissed at their nonchalance – the night before. Mark had explained that it was not all that bad since nothing pierced through the underboss’ thick skull and there was no concussion – there was just a huge gash that bleed more than they wanted and so Jaebum forced the consigliere to attend to Jackson’s injuries instead of his.

Jinyoung felt warmth blossomed in his chest at that. Even when he was injured, Jaebum still obviously cared for his brother. Not even minding that the he was the Don; Jaebum was proving points that every mafiosi in his famiglia stood equally.

Jackson and Jaebum’s reunion did not go quietly. There were tons of insults and chastisement thrown around – starting from Jaebum being too selfless to Jackson being too careless.

Of course, Jinyoung got where Jackson was coming from. Remembering Jaebum’s state last night still sent shivers of anxiety over Jinyoung; but Jinyoung also understood Jaebum’s solid concern about Jackson’s well being, having a bleeding head could turn into very serious complications.

It was just unfortunate that there was only one Mark Tuan.

After Mark had complimented Jinyoung, in not so many words, about his decent work of keeping Jaebum’s wound clean, he and Jackson left – stating that they had to recheck the mess they made out in the streets.

Jaebum offered to come but Jackson had threatened to actually cut his leg off if he would so much as step outside his home for the day. It appeared that Jackson was a different level of strict than Mark when it came to Jaebum’s health. It should not have been a surprise since Jinyoung had seen Jackson fumed when Jaebum was shot months ago but still, the underboss’ ferocity at the matter managed to catch his attention.

Jackson really loved his brother.

However, because of the harshly imposed house arrest, Jaebum was once again stuck at home for the whole day which led to their current position in the music room.

Jaebum decided that he would pay his grand piano a visit and Jinyoung tagged along since Jaebum’s music was really something he could not pass.

They had made it a habit to sit side by side on the piano bench instead of the other sitting on another chair. The whole experience was just better like that. And Jinyoung really loved being close to Jaebum when he played the instrument because aside from being up close to his husband’s lovely music, he could also bother him effectively.

Now, Jinyoung really enjoyed Jaebum’s art but the man could go on for literal hours, immersed in making notes after notes. So when Jinyoung got _tired_ of just sitting, his inherent childishness tended to leak to the surface.

Jinyoung concluded that it was the right time to put a stop to Jaebum playing – it had already been four hours since they sat there and Jinyoung had excused himself to pee thrice since.

And so, an idea went to his head – he brought his own hand over a key and experimentally pressed it. Nothing happened and he pressed some more, messing with Jaebum’s flow. He felt Jaebum tense beside him but the playing continued. He decided to amp it up and ran his fingers over the lower octave in front of him, pressing all the keys that he touched. And this time, Jaebum stopped.

Jaebum turned to Jinyoung and raised a brow, “What are you doing, Jinyoung? Did you want to play?”

“No,” Jinyoung replied.

“Then what do you want?” Jaebum sounded mildly exasperated.

“Nothing.”

Jaebum loudly sighed, “Are you bored? I didn’t actually ask you to be in here, Jinyoung.”

Well, that was not the reaction Jinyoung wanted and so, out of something similar to pettiness, Jinyoung slammed his hand against the keys. The piano let out an angry roar and Jinyoung felt a sense of triumph in the way Jaebum flinched.

 _Oh_ , so he could also make his husband flinch, huh.

Jinyoung brought his other hand to do the same and soon, both of his hands were slamming down the poor instrument, leaving a loud and obnoxious cacophony of _non_ -musical notes. He repeated the stupid motion over and over and over – smiling wider as his husband started frowning deeper.

Jaebum did not, however, scold him for doing such a childish action; he sat still and made a face between wanting to kill him in general or just cut his hands off.

It was a hilarious sight and Jinyoung almost broke out into the most stupid laugh. Almost.

Because in a flash, Jaebum had grabbed him by the shoulder, twisted his body so that he was almost sitting off the bench, and slammed him against the piano – the instant force caused the piano keys to be pressed and as the instrument made a massive clanging noise, Jinyoung did too when his back dug harshly on the edge of the innocent woodpiece.

Jaebum pinned and leaned over him. And they were so, so close. This was different from all of the other times Jaebum had pulled this stunt because their proximity was making Jinyoung lightheaded. He did not have the strength to protest and push Jaebum away – and with Jaebum’s burning eyes that pinned him down as well, he did not think he even _wanted_ to run away.

There was only silence enveloping them – aside from the on and off protest of the piano whenever a key was being smashed, there was nothing else that could be heard in the huge room. Well, there was Jinyoung’s panting. He panted so loud, he could not hear Jaebum’s own breathing but he knew that his husband was having laboured breaths as well because their faces were too close that every exhale was Jinyoung’s inhale.

Jinyoung’s position was awkward and difficult with his body twisted in a weird manner and his bottom only half seated. Jaebum, still not saying anything, seemed to have picked up on it and still without a word – he lifted Jinyoung and placed him over his lap.

The new position only made them closer; Jinyoung sandwiched tightly between the piano and his husband. And it did not help that his husband’s arms were caging him again.

The situation was all sorts of dangerous and Jinyoung finally made the effort to speak up. “What are you doing? Your wound. I’m pressing on your wound.” He said breathily and he hoped that Jaebum did not hear the underlying helplessness in his voice.

Jaebum let out a low grumble before saying, “I’m shutting you up.” And the way he said it, straight into Jinyoung’s mouth; their _closeness_ , only a thin line of air acting as barrier between their lips – it all made Jinyoung tremble.

Jaebum’s heat seeped into him, past all of the clothes they wore, and his smell was the only thing Jinyoung could breath in. He was nearly getting cross eyed as he tried to keep his gaze at Jaebum’s dark, dark orbs which sucked him into _something_ , into a place where he cannot escape.

As if Jinyoung _wanted_ to escape.

Their situation was painful; not physically because he was damned comfortable on his husband’s lap even if he knew he was sitting over the wound, but emotionally. It was taking a toll on Jinyoung because he was starting to feel a deep need, a deep want. He _desired_ Jaebum.

And just as he was about to go crazy from the tension, a flash of something flickered in Jaebum’s eyes and then – he was being kissed by Jaebum.

 _Oh God._ Jaebum was kissing him.

The press of their lips rendered Jinyoung motionless. It was a shock and his brain short circuited. Every process in his body ceased and he did not know what to do. He remained still and rigid because that was the only thing he could muster without fainting.

Jaebum stopped abruptly and Jinyoung _almost_ felt robbed. “Is this a bad thing? Do you not want it?” Jaebum said in worry. It made Jinyoung snap out of the trance he was in; he perked up and what he saw made the _want_ he felt deep in his abdomen stronger.

Jaebum was afraid. His face might not reveal much but his eyes, oh those eyes spoke of so many things. They were currently marred with worry and anxiety. His husband was being careful and was respecting his boundaries. Jaebum did not want to hurt him.

It was so unlike the Jaebum he knew and Jinyoung instantly felt all of his reservations fly out the window. What was there to lose anyway?

“No, I want this,” Jinyoung muttered under his breath, too shy and embarrassed that he was saying it.

“Then why are you so tense?” Jaebum sighed, “You don’t have to force yourself, tesoro.”

Jinyoung’s heart that stopped beating suddenly beat again. And it beat so loud and fast, thrumming wildly in his chest, that Jinyoung gasped for breath. Damn that _tesoro_.

Jinyoung ducked his head and buried it in Jaebum’s shoulder, mustering all the courage he could before he said, more like mumbled, “I don’t know.”

“What did you say, tesoro?”

Jinyoung fisted on the sleeves of Jaebum’s shirt, “I-I don’t know how to kiss.”

He was only received with silence and Jinyoung shut his eyes so hard, it made him dizzy, in embarrassment.

Then, after a beat or two, he felt Jaebum shake and heard him laugh quietly. “Oh God, Jinyoung.” He continued chuckling at Jinyoung’s demise that made Jinyoung want to run out of the room. “You’re so sly, tesoro.”

Jinyoung wanted the ground to open and swallow him whole. He would not be able to show face if Jaebum mocked him about his inexperience. It was not even his fault that he did not know how to kiss. There was never an opportunity for him to do so.

Jaebum, ever so softly, pushed him back to sit upright. There was an evil grin spread across his face now that Jinyoung found the strength to make eye contact again.

“That’s not a problem, tesoro. I’ll just have to teach you everything.”

Jaebum smirked and brought their lips together again. Jinyoung remained still, not knowing what to do. He felt Jaebum’s lips slide over his with firm pressure and it sent sparks travelling down Jinyoung’s spine. His husband tugged and nipped at him, so sensually and invitingly that it made him want to reciprocate and not just passively receive.

So, he did. Jinyoung mimicked his husband’s movements – sliding their lips together and slotting them where they could fit. It was pleasant and nice to kiss, Jinyoung thought. Jaebum was being gentle with him, taking time to let him learn and be used to the whole liplocking.

It lasted for minutes, with Jinyoung subtly taking in breaths and peeking at Jaebum every now and then. His husband was really handsome – so, so handsome that it made Jinyoung ache. The feeling of wanting was new but definitely not unwelcomed. It was a different kind of want – far from wanting freedom, of wanting to be independent and not be associated with men like his father.

This time, Jinyoung wanted to be caged in and imprisoned within Jaebum’s embrace.

Fear of what was becoming of him should jolt Jinyoung away from Jaebum’s lap but then as Jaebum licked at the seam of his lips, all thoughts about fighting his feelings suddenly sounded stupid. And Jinyoung viewed himself as a smart man, so what he did was open his mouth, answering his husband’s silent question. And if the kissing before was pleasant, _this_ was electrifying.

When Jaebum’s tongue entered his mouth and started licking and tasting _everything_ , Jinyoung swore that he might have died. _Holy hell_ , Jaebum was making him lose grip on reality. He felt his husband's tongue swipe against his inner cheeks, over and under his teeth, and against his own tongue.

Jinyoung fisted his hands on Jaebum’s shirt, crumpling it and gripping hard to ground himself in the present. He was so damn near to losing his mind. And before he could stop himself, a breathy moan escaped his lips.

He should feel embarrassed but the sound only made Jaebum dig in deeper into his mouth, hands caressing Jinyoung’s sides.

Jinyoung could not do anything but surrender to the kiss.

He moaned and whimpered – he allowed Jaebum to turn him into a mess.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :DD  
> so yeah, we've reached this point and let me just SCREAM
> 
> Thank you very much for reading!  
> And like I always say, I'd love to hear your thoughts!  
> Drop them down in the comments :)) and if you have questions, ideas or just want to scream at me, you can do so in my [twitter](https://twitter.com/crudescere) or [cc](https://curiouscat.me/crudescere)


	14. Chapter 14

XIV

 

Cui peccare licet, peccat minus

(Who is allowed to sin, sins less)

\- Amores, Book III, iv, 9, Ovid

 

 

Jinyoung woke up with an uncomfortable feeling deep in his abdomen – there was this _ache_ that would not go away and left him sensitive. He knew what the feeling was; he may be naive when it came to physical intimacy but Jinyoung was no innocent. He knew he was aroused, and he also knew the reason why.

The images were still clear and detailed behind his eyelids – Jaebum’s smirk, Jaebum’s heat, Jaebum’s lips.

Jinyoung groaned and rolled to lie on his belly, burying his head deep into his plush pillows and sucking in a deep breath when his morning wood brushed onto the mattress. _Fuck._ In all his years of existence, this was the first time he was experiencing an arousal this strong and all because of his damned husband.

Their kiss the day before came rushing back and he felt shivers ran down his spine. Couple the memory with his recent and most definitely vivid dream about making out with Jaebum – Jinyoung was ready to scream. But instead of letting out a wild shriek, Jinyoung felt a smile forming at his lips. He cannot deny it, he felt all sorts of giddy.

Jaebum had ended their liplocking session when he had started to reciprocate the kiss with just as much passion as his husband did. Well, he was a fast learner, they had proven that time and time again. And Jaebum halted their private moment at that instant, claiming that if they would not – then he would definitely not be blamed if he happened to _devour_ Jinyoung right there on the piano.

Of course, Jinyoung wanted to die in embarrassment then. His husband was such a dog – disgusting and vulgar. However, now that he was recounting the episode, Jinyoung could not help but feel butterflies fluttering in his chest.

He looked at the clock and deemed that it was just about time for him to head down to breakfast. But first, Jinyoung had to solve his mini problem that was becoming more and more prominent at every thought and imagery of his husband. He decided to take a very cold shower to remedy it.

He had dignity and he would be caught dead before he entertained the idea of jerking himself to Jaebum’s image. That was just wrong on so many levels.

 

 

Breakfast turned out to be the same. There was nothing that had changed between his and his husband’s morning affair, and Jinyoung was relieved of that. It would be awkward and weird if they suddenly acted like the kiss had altered something between them. Well, it _did_ hold weight but Jinyoung was glad that they were not forcing something to happen.

Jinyoung liked Jaebum, that he was sure of. His husband’s sentiments towards him, on the other hand – Jinyoung was not so certain his feelings were reciprocated.

But that was alright. Jinyoung did not go over his head and expected Jaebum to suddenly develop feelings for him as well. Also, what he had right now for Jaebum was just an attraction – like what a fan might feel towards a handsome actor or singer. It was too early to call it something deeper than that and Jinyoung was content with just going along with it. If something else would develop, then it would. But as of the moment, he was satisfied with how everything was going smoothly.

Jinyoung liked to think that what he felt was a simple happy crush. He could just feel giddy and excited whenever Jaebum was around – there was no need to complicate it. Besides, it was a universal truth that the only thing Jaebum loved was the mafia. Nothing else. And again, that was far from Jinyoung’s control – not that he wanted to control it at all. Jaebum can live his proud mafioso life for all Jinyoung cared. He did not approve of it but he had definitely no say in the matter.

He was almost finished with his plate when Jaebum spoke, “Do you want to go out today, Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung knitted his brows in confusion. What could his husband mean by that? To where could Jaebum possibly take him to?

“What do you mean?”

Jaebum clicked his tongue, “I told you to stop replying dumbly.” He sighed but then continued, ignoring the glare Jinyoung shot his way, “You mentioned before that you wanted to know more about the famiglia. Well, I just thought that the best way to explain it is to show you how it works.”

Jinyoung remembered saying such. He had wanted to put in more effort in understanding Jaebum and there was no better way to know his husband than to see the famiglia – to see him act and be the Don that he was.

Yet, Jinyoung worried over it. By agreeing, he would definitely take a glimpse to the darker side of Jaebum and God knows what he might see. People said to be careful on what you wished for and Jinyoung did not want to regret. He did not think the matter could be decided on a whim.

“Uhm, I did want to know but, uhh, maybe– ,” Jinyoung hesitated, unsure of how to continue without directly saying that he was scared of what he could witness.

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t make you watch us killing someone,” Jaebum said and then proceeded to smirk evilly, “Maybe just a torture session, yeah? I would even allow you to put in a bullet or two. Nothing close to the fucker so shooting would do.”

Jinyoung blanched in horror. That was the last thing he had in his mind. Hell, that did not even cross his thoughts. “What the fuck, Jaebum?” He glared so much at his husband, he started to get dizzy but _damn it_ , Jaebum was crazy if he thought he could include Jinyoung in his cruel activities.

Jaebum threw his head back and sniggered, “You’re funny, Jinyoung. Did you really think I would expose you to that?”

Jinyoung pursed his lips in annoyance realising that his husband was just kidding him. How dare Jaebum make a joke like that? Jinyoung actually got afraid. “You’re so insufferable!” He huffed. “What happened to not lying?”

“I am not lying, tesoro. I’m just giving you options.” Jaebum took a sip of his coffee and continued, “Though if you really wanted to, who am I to deprive you of unleashing your inner demon?”

Jinyoung made a face at that. Sure, he had demons that wanted to claw themselves out to the surface but none of them wanted to shoot _just someone_ – they all held grudges against his father. So unless Jintae was the target, no, Jinyoung’s demons were perfectly fine being in the dark.

“We’ll go to the docks and the lab so it’s going to be relatively peaceful. Are you up for it?”

The docks were where Jaebum’s imports from all over the planet come in and they were all illegal in nature. He knew that Jaebum owned several ports – well, _owned_ might be pushing it because technically, the Don held command by having the governors in his pockets. In turn, he get to exploit money from the government projects and be allowed to racketeer without the police tailing him. As if the law could stop Jaebum, Jinyoung scoffed – even in the police force, his husband had men following his every word; so really, there was no way to stop the mafioso from ruling.

So no, Jaebum did not own anything – he simply ruled.

Jinyoung brushed the disgusting truth aside. If he wanted to be more knowledgeable about the business, he should be able to stomach such atrocities. Fuck, his morals were really evaporating into thin air.

“You won’t leave me alone there and tend to your business?” Jinyoung asked. As much as he wanted to see Jaebum in all of his Don glory, he did not want to be thrown into a metaphorical den of lions.

“I won’t,” Jaebum answered with a frown. “Of course, I won’t, tesoro.”

 

 

As soon as they stepped out of the vehicle, a man greeted them whom Jinyoung recognised as Incheon’s mayor. The whole car ride was boring and Jinyoung drifted in and out of sleep more times than he could count while Jaebum did what he always did – talked on the phone, emailed a bunch of people, and drank coffee. However, now that Jinyoung was facing a mayor who looked ready to wipe his husband’s shoes if asked, he was suddenly more awake.  

Jinyoung knew how corrupt the government was but to actually witness it – Jinyoung was disgusted.

“Mr. Im, it’s nice to see you,” Mayor Park gushed.

Jaebum nodded, “I didn’t expect you to be here, mayor. Are you sure you _can_ be here?”

“O-of course! I can’t leave you with incompetent people, after all.” The mayor said but even Jinyoung could note the carefulness underlying his words. Mayor Park was scared and Jinyoung would have laughed if not for the fact that his husband did look scary. “There’s a new building going to be in construction two months from now. I already secured that Im Industries would win the bidding.”

Jinyoung pursed his lips at the fact that Jaebum’s legal business was still intertwined with his illegal ones. Im Industries was big and even without help, it would probably secure the deal so what Mayor Park did was futile.

And his thoughts were proven correct when his husband responded with, “How’s your wife and daughter, Mayor Park? I’ve heard that she’s already started going to college. You must be very proud of her.”

Jinyoung’s blood ran cold and he searched his husband’s face for any sign of pretense, that what he said was a harmless inquiry. But there was none. Jaebum wore a mask that did not reveal anything. Jinyoung felt scared for a bit – this was Jaebum as a Don. _Fuck_. Jinyoung hated it.

It seemed that the mayor picked up on Jaebum’s not so subtle threat as he coughed out his reply, “I’ll arrange for a third of the budget be sent to you.”

“Half.”

“But that would cut the budget really low and the building might not get finished,” Mayor Park stressed out.

“Ehwa University, right? I’m sure she’ll like me.”

Mayor Park sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Alright, alright. I’ll give you half just keep my family out of this.”

Jaebum hummed and placed an arm around Jinyoung’s waist. He seemed so content with the extortion he did that Jinyoung gritted his teeth. This was going to be a long day.

“Now onto my shipments,” Jaebum stated.

“You’re shipments are currently being transferred. If you would follow me, please.”

Jaebum nodded and followed the man, not removing his arm around Jinyoung at all.

Jinyoung peered up at Jaebum and saw no changes – he was still wearing an icy and impassive expression but the hand laying at his waist gave a gentle squeeze of reassurance. Jinyoung smiled discreetly at the gesture despite being morally torn about the situation. His husband was really sneaky.

“You okay, tesoro?”

Jinyoung bit his lips in contemplation before answering. Was he really okay? He just saw his husband throw his weight and bullied a renowned government official – what was he going to say about that?

“You’re such a bully,” Jinyoung decided to be honest. He whispered low so Mayor Park in front of them would not hear, “I am disgusted that you would use his wife and daughter to threaten him.”

Jaebum let out a chuckle and brought Jinyoung closer to him. He leaned down to whisper, “That works really well, Jinyoung. I would have done the same and yielded if it were me.”

Jinyoung stopped in his tracks and consequently, Jaebum stopped as well. “But you don’t have a wife or a daughter. And I doubt anyone could coerce you.”

“You’re right. No one can threaten me but I do have you and Jackson, so there’s that.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened at the implication, his brain having difficulties processing the information. _Woah_ , did Jaebum just imply his importance? That Jaebum would be willing to bow down if he was in danger? He understood the case with Jackson – Jaebum loved his brother deeply and Jinyoung knew his husband would just do anything for the underboss. But him? Would Jaebum really yield if it was him on the line?

But then again, no one could shake his husband that much. Jaebum sat at the top and Jinyoung was more inclined to believe that he will declare bloodshed before succumbing to someone else.

The statement was just odd. It was unsettling. It made his heart flutter.

 

 

The laboratory was more scary, if Jinyoung was being honest. There was no humid breeze bringing in the saltiness of the ocean and no sunlight making him squint but it was definitely far from how he imagined a laboratory would be. A drug den was a more fitting description. A warehouse too.

Yet despite the brusque appearance, Jinyoung had never been more aware that every man he saw was made. At least at the docks, Jaebum’s operation had been on the low, not really sticking out to prevent suspicion. But here, most of the men wore suits indicating they were mafioso and the rest that were not, sported labour clothes. The whole place were filled with criminals and Jinyoung pressed himself closer to Jaebum’s side.

“Mark’s at the back room. Come on,” Jaebum said, tugging him along.

As they passed, various boxes and and containers were scattered across the wide halls and through the walkways. They piled, almost ceiling high. The whole room smelled funny and Jinyoung knew it was from the drugs the boxes carried. He also did not fail to notice the armed men loitering the vicinity and walking through the building leisurely.

Jinyoung could almost tolerate the suffocating atmosphere until he heard a scream from one of the rooms Jaebum and he had passed.

“What was that?”

Jaebum shrugged, “I’m not sure _who_ but an unfortunate soul probably. Mark is in charge of this den and he hasn’t said anything to me. So it must be not that important.”

Another loud scream broke through and shivers ran down Jinyoung spine. _What the hell was going on?_ More wailing and sobbing followed the initial screams; begging and pleading could be heard even if the words were undistinguishable.

Jinyoung was not dumb. Cogs whirred in his head and suddenly, something clicked. “He’s being tortured, am I right?”

Cold sweat broke through his forehead and he was sure his hands turned clammy. He knew the wavering of his voice was apparent but he still wished that Jaebum would not take notice of it. However, the hand tugging his wrist tightened signalling that his husband very well caught on his uneasiness.

Jaebum slowed down his pace and asked, “Are you scared, tesoro?”

Jinyoung almost lied and pretended to be unaffected but thought otherwise. There was no use in putting up a front now; Jaebum knew him too much to actually be fooled.

“Yeah, I am,” he sighed but continued with a firm voice, “I am also disappointed with you. Mark too.”

Jaebum raised a brow at his response and only gripped tighter at his wrist. Jinyoung full well knew that Jaebum understood what he meant and he also knew that there was no way Jaebum was going to just put a stop to what was happening.

It was weird but since the both of them were aware of each other’s thoughts and how things were just as they were, that nothing could be changed – it made them okay.

Jinyoung would always be against Jaebum’s brutal ways and Jaebum would still continue to do it.

And that made _them_ comfortable with each other. There was no lie in between them – all skeletons out of the metaphorical closet; their demons laid bare. As funny as it was to Jinyoung, they both trusted each other.

They finally reached the back room wherein Mark sat behind a huge oak desk, stirring something from a mug. _Tea? Coffee, maybe?,_ Jinyoung wondered.

His husband’s greeting, however, shattered Jinyoung’s innocent thoughts, “Mark, don’t tell me that’s laced with coke. I swear to God.”

_Wait- what?_ Jinyoung was shocked, would Mark really get high? He had always seen the consigliere as someone very put together, someone who had complete control over his life. But Jaebum sounded serious – so deadly serious that Jinyoung’s instant reaction was to doubt Mark.

“It’s not,” Mark glared at the Don.

“I’m just making sure. It’s not going to be the first time,” Jaebum placed himself comfortably on one of the chairs in the room. “Come here, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung followed suit and it seemed the Mark had only realised his presence if the surprised look he wore was any indication. “You brought Jinyoung here?”

“Yes but back to you. Are you sure this,” Jaebum made a wide gesture towards the whole room, “Are you sure you’re okay working here? You know I can put someone else to oversee this warehouse.”

“I’m fine, Jaebum,” Mark sighed. “I won’t relapse and Jackson keeps an eye on me, okay? I’m not going to have a repeat of _that_. You all need me anyway. What would happen to this famiglia if died, right?”

Jinyoung wondered what they were talking about. But if he would take what was said and used context clues, it would appear that Mark had been an addict. One of the first things Jinyoung learned about his husband was that he loathed drug addicts in his famiglia – but that alone could not keep all the men absolutely clean. Perhaps Mark had committed a mistake and well, slipped into the darkness of drug dependency.

If that was the case, then Jaebum was a shitty boss and friend to put Mark in charge of a drug laboratory.

However, perhaps there was more to the story that Jinyoung was not aware of. He berated himself internally because he should not be jumping to conclusions all the time; it was a habit he needed to get rid of.

“You know I trust you,” Jaebum replied, “And I trust you to tell me if it’s getting too much, okay? We’re family, Mark, and I take care of family.”

Jinyoung did not know how Jaebum did it; how he could be cruel to other people and be so, so openly worried about his family. It was at moments like this that Jinyoung fell more and more into _like_ with his husband. If only he could forget his darker side as well, that would be easier.

“Anyway, we heard shouting down the halls. What was that about?” Jaebum had a raised brow and put on an expecting expression. “You haven’t told me anything about that.”

“Oh, that’s because it wasn’t anything serious,” Mark answered. “You know I don’t deal with the made men directly. I’m just here to supervise the drugs and make sure the mixing doesn’t go wrong.”

“So what was that?”

“Just someone who tried adding more extenders to the goods. Guy was probably too stupid if he thought I wouldn’t be able to detect a good coke from those diluted shit,” Mark explained. “I had one of the men teach him lessons.”

It was stated so passively, like Mark was listing off a grocery list – too composed, too casual that Jinyoung fought the urge to glare at the consigliere. Of course, Mark was just doing his job. In their famiglia, honesty was very important.

“Does he have any family?” Jaebum inquired and chills ran down Jinyoung’s spine once more. Mentioning families never sounded good when it came from a made man.

“Nope. Wife and kids died. His life was in shambles and he turned to the famiglia for money.”

Jaebum hummed and then said something that plunged Jinyoung’s heart in ice, “Kill him.”

“You sure?”

“He isn’t made and he cheated on us. I would have spared him his pathetic life if he had someone waiting for him at home. I guess, it’s his fate to die today.”

Mark took his phone, probably to give the order, and was about to dial a number when Jinyoung exclaimed, “Don’t!”

Both Jaebum’s and Mark’s heads whipped towards him and Jinyoung clamped a hand over his mouth – he knew he had stepped over a boundary.

Mark looked surprised – of course, not everyday did someone interrupt them from their work. But Jaebum, his mouth was pursed and his eyes were narrowed. He looked pissed that someone dared to go against him, and so blatantly too.

“What was that, Jinyoung?” Jaebum’s voice was terse.

Jinyoung gulped. He had already blurted his opinion without thinking too much; he could not take it back. Also, it was not as if he was wrong. He did not want anyone dying just because his husband felt like it. “Don’t kill him.”

“Any reason as to why I shouldn’t?” Jaebum challenged.

Jinyoung could not think of any good reason. Hell, he did not even know the guy. But it was wrong – no matter how powerful his husband was, he was no God. He was not allowed to dictate who lived and who died, especially not about a matter as small as not following the proper preparation of drugs.

“What if it was an honest mistake? Maybe he didn’t know the right formula?”

“That’s impossible. He’s been doing it for years now and even if he was new, I wouldn’t let him touch my drugs without training,” Mark said. “Besides, we found the amount he cut off from our product in a separate container. In his bag.”

Jaebum clicked his tongue, “So he’s been stealing off of us? What a fucker. Now he’s really going to die.”

Jinyoung panicked. Why was the guy so stupid? It made defending him all the more impossible. “No, don’t. Please. I have no reasons other than I find it wrong,” Jinyoung frantically said. “Jaebum, please?”

A flash of something crossed Jaebum’s face before he sighed. “Tesoro, he’ll just do it again if we let him get away with this. And it will also set an example to the others. We can’t let this slide.”

Jinyoung clenched his fists, “I hate it.”

“Well, you don’t have to like it for me to do it.”

Jinyoung was aghast with his husband. Why was he so damned horrible at times?

“Jaebum,” Jinyoung tried one more time.

His husband remained silent while Mark waited for his decision. Jaebum looked irritated but he still had not given out the final order so that meant he was thinking it through.

After a suffocating moment, Jaebum relented. “Alright, but just this once.”

Mark cocked his head to the side in astonishment, “So we’ll let him off then?”

“Yes but not that easily. Hurt him good and maybe cut some of his fingers off. That’ll serve a reminder for him not to pull this kind of shit again,” Jaebum hissed. “And don’t forget to tell him that he’s fucking lucky because of Jinyoung. If he does this one more time, he’ll be dead meat.”

Jinyoung cringed at the thought of more torture and finger cutting but he felt accomplished deep inside.

Jaebum had listened to him. He had prevented someone from dying.

 

 

The next day, Jinyoung was left at home again. Jaebum was out to deal with shadier stuff and so he refused to bring Jinyoung along with him. Bored once more, Jinyoung decided to waste his time in the library. It had been quite a while since he last picked up a book and he was starting to feel guilty for neglecting literature.

However, as he was scouring the shelves for a new read, his attention was caught by the non-fiction section. Truth be told, he did not fancy those kind of books – the almanacs, the encyclopedia, the atlases. They were all boring to him; after all, history could be written in a more heartfelt and engaging manner like those found in prose. But as his eyes landed on a thick medical encyclopedia, he felt a kind of pull. He was drawn to it.

Mark had taught him the basic procedures of wound care and even some first aids. He would admit that that had sparked an interest in him, especially when his husband had the habit of coming home with a wound or two. Jinyoung had once watched Mark splint a broken bone and he thought that he could do the same.

Besides, taking care of injuries and saving people from complications – that was the opposite of what the famiglia did. And Jinyoung liked contradicting Jaebum so learning about medicine, even through his own, turned out to be very appealing.

Jinyoung plucked out the heavy hard bound out of the shelf and settled on the couch. He perused the book for stuff that he could understand and carry out. After all, there was no use to knowing how different bacteria and viruses looked like. He was no doctor and he did not care about those. What he needed to know was more about remedying broken bones, caring for bullet wounds, putting a stop to hemorrhage and detoxifying a drug overdose.

Time passed easily and Jinyoung found himself enjoying his read. It was different from his novels or even from his readings during his short time in college. It was more technical and straight to the point but he was having fun nonetheless.

He was interrupted, however, by a servant telling him that a package awaited for him at the gates. Now, that was suspicious. Who would leave him a package? There was no one who would have the mind to gift him with something – there was no occasion and it was not allowed. Nothing was brought into the house without Jaebum’s permission.

“From who?” Jinyoung asked.

“The person said it was from your father.”

Jinyoung frowned. What did Jintae want with him now? It was so unlike his father to send him gifts. Hell, throughout his whole upbringing, never did the man give something so willingly to him. His father was not capable of such surprises.

But it did pique Jinyoung’s curiosity. He wondered what could be inside the package. What would his father give him after all this time without communication?

“Bring it to me.”

The servant nodded and rushed out. Jinyoung closed the book on his lap and waited. His heart thrummed wildly – it was so different from the way it had beat for the past week. Its thumping made him want to combust whenever it was caused by Jaebum but now, this time, the thumping wrapped him in thick anxiety.

What could Jintae be up to?

The servant came back after a few minutes with a sizeable package in hand. It was as big as a shoe box and was wrapped delicately in red gift wrapper with a huge white bow. It was quite heavy and when Jinyoung shook it to get a guess on its content, there were no thuds –  only a faint rustling that increased Jinyoung’s curiosity. There was no card or letter, though, which could have indicated that it really was from Jintae. _Whatever,_ Jinyoung thought and did not waste any more time pondering as he proceeded to uncover the gift.

The strong smell of perfume that greeted him once the wrapper was torn away should have made him skeptical. It was so strong that the sweet scent turned unpleasant. But Jinyoung did not give it any mind, opening the lid with a determined face.

What he saw inside made him scream so loud and fall off his seat. He trembled and his breathe got knocked out of his lungs, like someone just punched him in the chest. The hairs on his arms stood and he had difficulty swallowing the lump that was on his throat. _God,_ he was shaking so much.

Jinyoung wanted to cry.

The servant immediately rushed to his side and coaxed him to breathe. He tried to focus on getting air inside his lungs but at every attempt, the pungent smell of perfume and _something_ so sickening from the box went in his nose and caused him to splutter. It was painful and the sensation felt like a thin cord surrounded and tightened at his neck.

Inside the box was blood – so much blood that the papers used as cushion were completely soaked. And at the center, _Oh dear Jesus_ – at the center of the box was a body.

A baby. An infant. Mutilated and disembowelled.

It still had its umbilical cord attached to its belly and the head and eyes were pinned so it was staring straight at whoever opened the package.

Jinyoung was so horrified that he was rendered into a useless heap on the floor – bones turned into jelly and every strength drained from him.

He really wanted to cry.

The servant hastily put the box’s lid on, face ashen and equally as freaked out as Jinyoung. “Sir, should I throw this away?”

He shook his head to say no. Jinyoung tried to find his voice and he managed to utter, “Jaebum needs to see that.”

He blanched at using _that_. It was a baby. A perfect newborn – if it had been left alone. Heavens, who could have done something as atrocious as that? And why did they send it to Jinyoung?

Was it really Jintae?

Jinyoung did not know what to do. He was so shaken and terrified.

Subconsciously, his hand went for his phone and pressed speed dial.

 

 

The library door banged open and Jaebum stomped his way towards him. Jinyoung immediately felt a sense of relief awash his system.

Jaebum was here. He was safe.

“What the fuck happened, tesoro?” Jaebum pulled Jinyoung from where he was still crouching on the floor and placed themselves more comfortably on the couch. “What the fuck happened?”

Jinyoung had called Jaebum but he was not able to say anything on the phone. He just dry heaved and panted like a scared animal. Fortunately, his husband, after chiding and scolding him for calling for nothing, realised that something was wrong at home. Then and there, Jaebum said to keep still wait for him. Jaebum said he would come home.

And he did. It gave so much sense of security, a sense of safety now that his husband was beside him.

Jaebum clasped both of his hands and Jinyoung stopped shaking. Air seemed to enter his lungs more fluidly now and he found his voice, “There was a package. Said it was from Jintae.”

Jaebum automatically frowned in distaste. His husband never really liked his father although Jinyoung was not sure why.

“From Jintae? What was it?”

Jinyoung took in a deep breath and whispered, “A baby.”

“What the fuck did you say?”

Jinyoung steeled himself and gripped tightly at Jaebum’s hands. He said with a much clearer voice, “A baby, Jaebum. Dead and chopped. I told the servants not to throw it away in case you needed evidence.”

Jaebum made a sharp intake of breath and closed his eyes. And when he opened them again, a blazing fury roared behind the orbs. Jinyoung knew Jaebum was mad – really fucking mad.

“Stay here. Drink tea. Sleep. Forget what you saw. I’ll make whoever did this pay, tesoro.”

Jinyoung watched as Jaebum stood and fumed his way out of the door. This time, Jinyoung did not stop Jaebum from causing havoc.

Jinyoung only hoped that Jintae was smart enough to start hiding.

 

 

Jaebum had returned home that day with a furious Jintae in tow. His his husband had literally taped his father’s mouth and tied his hands behind his back. Jintae was fuming and was mumbling something behind the tape so violently that Jinyoung’s instincts told him to run away. But Jaebum looked so much more scary and it did not take a genius to figure out that his husband’s barely there patience was running thin.

“He said he didn’t send you anything,” Jaebum said curtly. “I particularly don’t believe him. But I need to hear it from you. Say the word Jinyoung and I will mutilate this fucker.”

Jinyoung flinched at the way Jintae screamed with his mouth shut. His father attempted to lunge at him but before Jintae could step any closer, Jaebum had kicked him behind his knees and brought him kneeling to the floor.

“Don’t fucking move,” Jaebum stated calmly.

Jinyoung had not seen Jaebum be this mad since, well, ever. It was very far from the way his husband lashed at him during that night he confessed everything and made peace with it. No, this Jaebum was infinitely scarier because he was calm, cool and collected. The only warning sign suggesting his violence were his thunderous eyes and the murderous aura he emitted.

Other than that, Jaebum was too cold, it almost burnt.

Despite his hatred towards his father, Jinyoung did believe that Jintae was not the sender of  the gory package. His father simply did not benefit from doing it and really, it was not his style. Jintae would not spend time and effort to scare someone as deliberate as that; his father was very simple minded and killed when he liked to.

Also, Jinyoung doubted that Jintae was stupid enough to mess with him since Jaebum was known to be particularly unforgiving to those who touched his family.

“Let him go, Jaebum,” Jinyoung sighed. “If he said he didn’t do it, then he probably didn’t.”

Jaebum cocked his head to the side and looked as if he was questioning Jinyoung’s verdict. He raised a brow in query as if to say _You really believe him?_

“Yes, Jaebum. Let him go,” Jinyoung answered the unspoken question.

Jaebum pursed his lips but nodded, nevertheless. He ripped the tape off from Jintae’s mouth without care and did the same to the binds at the man’s wrists.

“Fucking shit that you are! What do you think you’re doing?” Jintae shouted at Jinyoung while rubbing at his mouth. Fortunately, the tape did not rip his skin off but Jinyoung surmised that the way Jaebum tore it must have stung big time.

“Shut up,” Jaebum intervened. “Get out.”

“And you!” Jintae pointed a finger at Jaebum, “You think you can do this to me just because your some damned mafioso? Huh!”

“I said, get out,” Jaebum repeated and there was something very sinister that flashed across his eyes that made Jintae close his mouth abruptly.

Jaebum was not playing around.

“Just leave,” Jinyoung said to his father.

Jintae scowled and flipped Jinyoung the bird before storming out of Jaebum’s house.

The day was just so stressful and he collapsed at the nearby couch. Jinyoung’s mind was still whirring and trying to pinpoint anyone who could do that to him. “Who do you think sent that, Jaebum?”

Jaebum sat beside him and sighed, “I don’t know, tesoro, but I’m so fucking mad right now.”

Jinyoung perked up at that. He peered at Jaebum who was looking straight back at him – the tension at the corner of his mouth and the tight lines around his eyes. His husband looked livid, alright. “Yeah, I sensed that.”

They sat there in the living room for a while, calming themselves down in each other’s presence. Jinyoung was glad that Jaebum remained because even if his husband’s temperament was unstable, Jaebum had promised not to hurt him and by that – Jinyoung felt safe.

In a random bout of courage, Jinyoung decided it was not such a bad idea to rest his head on his husband’s shoulder. It was broad and inviting after all. And he was tired, so emotionally drained at all the stuff that went down for the day. Surely, Jaebum would not push him away.

So he did – Jinyoung rested his head on Jaebum’s shoulder.

His husband stiffened for the briefest of second before pulling him closer. Jaebum snaked an arm behind his waist and laid his hand reassuringly on his hip.

This was the closest they had ever been. Well, excluding that time at the piano room where he sat on his husband’s lap while they kissed, or that time when Jaebum had been hovering above him in bed while they shared yet another, albeit drunken, kiss.

His train of thought was interrupted as Jaebum muttered under his breath, “I’ll find out who did this, tesoro. And I will make him pay, I promise”

Jinyoung closed his eyes and let out a tired smile; he had no doubt Jaebum would do just that.

 

 

The days after that, Jinyoung became more careful of every phone call he received – checking twice if the name that flashed on his screen was really someone he knew. There had been multiple times when his phone flashed numerous unknown contacts and Jinyoung almost made the mistake of impulsively answering one. It was getting ridiculously annoying that he just turned off his phone for good.

Who knew what lied behind those calls – it could be the same person who sent him the horrific gift.

He had switched the device off for two whole days now and his husband appeared to not have noticed anything yet. Jinyoung had not said a word about the creepy calls to his husband because well, it was not a direct threat. And Jinyoung did not want to be a damsel in distress who relied on his husband all the time to save him. He did not want to be any more pathetic than he was so he decided to keep the calls to himself for the time being. He would tell Jaebum if it got out of hand.

But currently, he lounged in the library again – sitting sideways and across the couch while the heavy medical encyclopaedia rested on his abdomen. He had contacted Mark before throwing his phone away about which things he could study first. The consigliere had been surprised at his initiative to learn a bit of medicine aside from basic first aid but was willing to assist Jinyoung. Mark had listed off the important stuff he should know, starting with how to stitch a wound.

Apparently, it was Jaebum’s hobby to throw physical blows over using guns. Mark had told him that Jaebum very much enjoyed pounding people to the ground with bare fists and using knives to injure enemies which oftentimes resulted to split knuckles on lucky days and deep stab wounds on unlucky ones. It did not mean that his husband was sloppy when it came to shooting because the Don had a perfect aim. The consigliere told him that Jaebum once reasoned out that using his hands made everything more real; the actual feel of skin splitting, of flesh giving way, of bones breaking.

Jinyoung shivered when he heard that and had said to Mark how revolting Jaebum was. The consigliere only chuckled and replied with _Jaebum’s been a little more crazy than all of us, to be honest_ which did not make anything better.

But here he was, looking through the steps on how to make a perfect suture just because Jaebum had a strong possibility of requiring one again.

He basked in the silence of the room, fighting the urge to keep his eyes open amidst the gravity pulling it close. It must have been some time, but Jinyoung fell asleep. He must have drifted off to dreamland while looking at pictures of deep, open wounds that needed sewing. It was all gross but Jinyoung had seen real ones and those were worse.

When the sun had gone down and the library was bathed in the soft glow of the lamps, he stirred awake and noticed that the encyclopaedia fell onto the ground. He yawned and stretched before deciding to pick up the book while wondering what their dinner could be.

He was midway off the couch, bending down reach for the said encyclopedia when he realised someone was sitting on the chair across from him.

Jinyoung shrieked and fell off the couch with a loud thump. He quickly whipped his head to the intruder who was watching him sleep, ready to scream or run – whatever his body’s first reaction was.

He was shocked to see that it was just Jaebum, instead.

Jinyoung groaned loudly, “Why are you sitting there? You scared the living daylights out of me.”

“It isn’t my fault you decided to sleep here, tesoro,” Jaebum chuckled.

“Were you watching me sleep?” Jinyoung asked suspiciously.

“You could say that,” Jaebum replied with a smirk and continued, “I was waiting for you to wake up. What do you feel about eating out tonight?”

Any amount of sleepiness faded away when he heard his husband. They had never eaten out before aside from the weekly lunches at Hyejin’s home. Heck, they had not gone out for anything at all.

“What?”

Jaebum clicked his tongue, “Stop answering like you didn’t hear me, I know you did.” Jaebum ran a hand through his hair and albeit the action being really manly and attractive, Jinyoung could not help but notice the hard lines around his husband’s eyes. Jaebum was definitely exhausted. “I still haven’t found the fucker that sent you the box. I wouldn’t put it past Jihyun to do something like that but she’s out of the country right now and I’m just so fucking tired and angry. I need a change of pace.” Jaebum stood and offered a hand towards Jinyoung, “So, dinner?”

Jinyoung nodded eagerly and smiled. He was feeling giddy and excited. Not for the dinner, no – he was amped from the fact that Jaebum sought out his company when everything was taking too much.

Jinyoung was suspecting the culprit to be Jihyun as well but as she was out of Korea, surely, she can not be that desperate to deliberately formulate a plan to make his life hell – or would she? The unknown was starting to eat at him and he was only happy to accept Jaebum’s offer.

Perhaps they could just forget the whole terrifying thing that had happened.

 

 

“This restaurant is seriously fancy,” Jinyoung surveyed his surroundings. Jaebum had taken him to a five-star restaurant and ordered a full course meal with the chef’s special for the both of them. Also a wine – his husband had ordered a ridiculously expensive bottle of wine and Jinyoung mused that if this was how Jaebum let out stress, then he would be pleased to tag along every time.

“You think I can’t afford it?” Jaebum asked, looking at him over the rim of his wine glass.

“I think you own this place, to be honest,” Jinyoung answered, cutting a big slice of meat from his steak. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

“Wrong,” Jaebum smiled lopsidedly that never failed to make Jinyoung feel like a horde of wildebeest were running over his stomach. “This is Jackson’s.”

Jinyoung raised a brow and surveyed the area again. _Jackson’s restaurant, huh_. “Do the other men have legal businesses too?”

“Only those who can afford and have gotten my approval. Most of my men’s interests are illegal so there’s a ton of gambling dens and brothels around. But on the legal side, only the kids have stuff going on for them. And they’re all affiliated with Im Industries.”

Jinyoung hummed in understanding. It was certainly good to know that his friends had something legal to their names. It made them stand out and differ from the other mafiosi. If that made them better or worse, Jinyoung was not sure. On one hand, it was relieving that not all of their money came from exploiting the public. On the other hand, Jinyoung knew that these type of businesses only existed to hide their underground dealings.

One thing was clear, Jaebum and his inner circle of men were really smart and cunning – built for this criminal empire.

Jinyoung scrunched his nose, “Let’s not talk about your famiglia tonight, Jaebum.”

“Oh,” Jaebum cocked his head to the side, “What do you want then, tesoro?”

“Ice cream. I want ice cream,” Jinyoung said, a mischievous smile forming at his lips.

“You’re eating an A5 steak and you want ice cream?” Jaebum chuckled, “You really amuse me. But alright, you get what you want.”

They continued having their dinner in a merry manner, successfully avoiding any topic related to the mafia. Jinyoung let himself be pampered since Jaebum told him that _that_ was his way to relieve stress. So Jinyoung did not argue when Jaebum started ordering more and more desserts after the ice cream which, to be honest, only got half eaten by him. He could not possibly finish all the food Jaebum kept ordering and he would have felt so bad for wasting too much if Jaebum did not eat all his left overs.

It was weird – Jaebum ordering too much, Jinyoung eating only half, and Jaebum finishing the remaining half. It was weird and Jinyoung tried to stop his husband many times but the Don would not relent. Anyway, he was not forced fed so Jinyoung could not really complain. And Jaebum – his husband was still the food inhaling machine that he was even when they were dining outside.

There was also the fact that Jaebum pulled over a waiter and requested the live band to perform a song Jinyoung liked. It was all so sudden and Jinyoung crumbled under the expecting gaze of the waiter. His husband just smirked and watch him flounder as he thought of a song that would not be a nuisance to all the other patrons. What kind of songs did a band working at a five star restaurant played anyway?

“Single Ladies.”

Jinyoung did not know what came over him to have said something so ridiculous. It was the first title that came to his mind and he regretted opening his mouth right then and there. He was not even able to take it back because as soon as the words left his mouth, the waiter bowed and headed to the band to relay his _request_.

Jaebum sniggered in front of him while giving him a judgemental look. He wanted the chair to swallow him – would it be too bad if he took the knife and killed himself in his seat? _God,_ he was so embarrassed.

And when the beat to Beyonce’s Single Ladies dropped and the singer pointed at him, acknowledging that he was the one who requested the song – Jinyoung had never felt more ashamed in his whole existence.

“You’re not single nor a lady, tesoro. To whom is this song dedicated to?” Jaebum asked in a teasing tone while raising his brow.

Jinyoung glared and only replied with a, “Shut up.”

Over all, they did well in pretending everything was okay.

 

 

The ride back home was a disaster. Not in the sense that something gruesome had happened but because they were stuck in a traffic jam. A crazy collision happened several cars in front of them and caused the road to freeze. He heard from their chauffeur, after Jaebum had sent him out to see what was causing such a disturbance, that no one had died, only three injured. But still, the cars were a wreck and were obstructing the road. And it seemed that the authorities were taking a long time to address the situation.

Jinyoung could feel Jaebum’s annoyance grow again. His husband had been able to loosen up during their dinner but now that they were stuck in the middle of Seoul’s traffic, Jinyoung could almost hear the gears in Jaebum’s head whirring for possible solutions.

“Come here, tesoro,” Jaebum’s voice pierced through the sound of the engine continuously purring.

Jinyoung turned his head and looked at his husband with a confused expression, “What do you mean come here? I’m seated beside you.”

“I meant, come _here_ ,” Jaebum patted his thigh and put on an expectant face.

Jinyoung’s eyes widened upon the realisation that his husband wants him to sit on his lap. _What?_

“Uhh-I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Jaebum clicked his tongue and scowled, “What is it about now?”

Jinyoung frowned at his husband’s reply. It was not that he did not want – hell, he had been dreaming of Jaebum’s kiss and waking up hard every morning but they were in no situation and place to be doing stuff like that.

“It’s not that I-,” Jinyoung forced himself to say the words, “It’s not that I don’t want to but Jaebum, we’re in public.”

“The windows are tinted so heavily, do you know how much I bribed the police for that?” Jaebum ran a hand through his hair exasperatedly, “No one can see us, if that’s what you’re so worried about.”

Jinyoung gulped and looked nervously at their chauffeur who was most likely listening in on their conversation.

Jaebum noticed his hesitation and called out the driver, “Brian, would you please raise the divider?”

“Yes, sir.”

And then out of nowhere, a thick and heavy glass rose up to divide the backseat from the driver’s side. “There. That’s a one-way panel and definitely soundproof. Now, can you come here?”

Jinyoung’s jaw fell slack. What in the world was happening? His heart was beating so hard like it wanted to get out of his chest and his stomach felt all mushy and weird. He was sure that he was as red as a tomato, blushing crimson down to his ears and neck.

Of course, he cannot just climb over Jaebum’s lap – he had dignity for goodness’ sake! But it was so tempting that Jinyoung just froze in his seat, warring thoughts between doing what his husband ordered and sticking to his morals. They were still in public no matter the amount of barriers Jaebum had put.

It appeared that he had taken a long time to respond because Jaebum – his thin patience will be his downfall one day, Jinyoung swore – clicked his tongue and without warning, leaned towards Jinyoung.

Jinyoung was backed to the corner as he hit the door behind him while his husband completely invaded his private space.

“Jaebum!” He exclaimed.

His husband’s eyes were a deep, dark black and stared directly into him like they were trying to take a glimpse of his soul. “Say no if you don’t want to. Be clear about these things, tesoro.”

Jaebum’s lips ghosted over his and he could feel his husband’s hot breath coming out in huffs. It was faintly sweet from the wine they had earlier and Jinyoung wondered if Jaebum tasted like expensive grapes too. His husband was emitting so much warmth that it enveloped Jinyoung. And out of habit, Jinyoung’s brain ceased working.

The cars and passengers beside them be damned. The traffic enforcers be damned. Their chauffeur be damned.

Jaebum was panting over him and Jinyoung just wanted to close the distance. But his husband was right – he should start voicing out his consent more. Jaebum had too much self control and self righteousness; he would definitely not touch Jinyoung without proper consent.

“Yes, Jaebum. I want this,” Jinyoung whispered.

And even if it was hushed and soft, Jaebum must have heard it really well since he did not waste any more time and dived in for Jinyoung’s lips.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the accidental gore. I had to remind you guys that this is a mafia au ;; I have no excuse other than that please don't stone me to death ajgdsasjgfd  
> ALSO, I'm sorry for the cliffhanger! AHAHAHA But I promise, just a little bit more and we will get to the sexy times :DD
> 
> You know what to do, though.  
> Give me your thoughts! Drop them down in the comments or at [cc](https://curiouscat.me/crudescere). If you want to see me scream though, here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/crudescere)


	15. Chapter 15

XV

 

Sed domi maneas paresque nobis novem continuas fututiones  
  
(Stay at home and prepare for nine acts of sexual penetration, one after the other)

\- Catullus 32, Poems by Catullus

 

 

“Holy shit!”

Jackson’s profane exclamation was the first thing Jinyoung heard when he went down for breakfast. “Did an animal attack you?”

Jinyoung frowned, unsure how to take Jackson’s nonsense so early in the morning. He was still in his pyjamas; he had not seen himself yet so he did not know what Jackson was seeing. He noticed, however, that Jaebum looked pleased beside his wide eyed brother – seriously, it was too early for their shit and he needed coffee.

Jinyoung plopped down beside his husband and took a sausage out of his plate. Jaebum had let him and called for a servant to arrange Jinyoung’s side of the table.

“I can’t believe this!” Jackson intervened the silence that befell on the room. “Jinyoung takes your food and you didn’t even bat an eye! _I_ so much as pick up a grain of rice from the edge of your plate and you glare at me.” He slammed his utensils down then pointed at Jaebum and Jinyoung with an accusatory finger, “And he wakes up like a pest infestation had a party on his neck? What is happening, Jaebum?”

“I think you know what happened,” Jaebum shrugged. “Or are you implying that I’m a pest, dear brother?”

A servant came and laid Jinyoung’s food. Ignoring Jackson’s outburst, Jinyoung immediately reached for the steaming cup of coffee – humming a little as the bitter taste woke him up completely.

“What? Did you finally fuck Jinyoung?” Jackson loudly queried and it came so much as a surprise that Jinyoung jerked and choked on his drink – the coffee sloshing out of his cup and drenching his pyjamas all over. Fortunately, it wasn’t enough to burn him but it did scald his tongue. _Goddammit_.

Jinyoung wheezed and glared so menacingly at Jackson the moment he regained his breath. “What in the world are you saying, Jackson?!”

“I don’t know but have you seen yourself in the mirror? You’re fucking covered in marks. You don’t have to be shy about this, you know. I already know that Jaebum’s an animal, in and out of bed.” Jackson shrugged as if he just did not make a very lewd comment on Jinyoung’s person.

Sometimes, Jackson just got to Jinyoung’s nerve – even more so than Jaebum did. Because even if Jaebum was scarily cold and cruel at times, it had never been directed at Jinyoung. But Jackson, the underboss kept on digging at Jinyoung and to be honest, he was just about to accept that Jackson really hated him.

“Jackson, stop talking,” Jaebum said when Jinyoung did not reply.

“Why? Because it makes Jinyoung uncomfortable?” Jackson raised a brow, “He needs to be used to this kind of stuff anyway. He’s going to hear it from other made men if not from me.”

“I said, stop talking, Jackson.” Jaebum warned.

Jinyoung looked from one brother to the other; they were having a silent conversation through their eyes, glaring with enough hostility to make the atmosphere around them tense.

“I would like for you to stop making crude comments at Jinyoung, Jackson,” Jaebum sighed and picked up his cup of coffee, looking at Jackson over the rim. “He’s my husband and he needs to be respected. You know that. Rule four. Or if not for the famiglia, which should be enough reason, do it for me.”

Jinyoung heard the underlying _please_ in Jaebum’s tone and he wondered why it was such a big thing for Jaebum. Sure, he hated being objectified like that but that was how made men acted. He was Jaebum’s husband and it was expected of him. Like what his husband said before, he did not have to like how they worked – the mafia would still continue to do what they did, how it was supposed to.

“Think about it this way, brother. Would you like it if I make rude and obscene comments about Mark?”

Jackson clenched his fists and gritted his teeth but remained silent. He appeared to be thinking, contemplating about Jaebum’s question. It seemed that there was something deeper about the whole remark than what Jinyoung’s thoughts were feeding him – that Jackson had picked up.

As far as he knew, Mark and Jackson’s relationship was not going well. Perhaps Jaebum just used the analogy to make Jackson think of something concrete and compare Jaebum’s situation to his own.

“But Mark and I, we’re different,” Jackson started with a hesitant voice. “Surely, you don’t mean-” He stopped, abruptly cutting himself and shutting his mouth tight.

“I mean it,” Jaebum replied.

Jackson opened and closed his mouth for several times, floundering like a fish, before finally saying, “You know that gives me a more valid reason to hate Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung frowned and stopped eating. He was so confused with the conversation Jaebum and Jackson was having. It was like they were speaking but not really saying the things that were important and were going off tangent about the actual substance of the conversation. _What did Jaebum mean? What was Jackson supposed to say? Why was that more reason to hate him?_

It was driving Jinyoung crazy.

“I can take care of myself, brother.” Jaebum took a sip of his coffee. “I’ve seen you and Mark for far too long that I’m sure of this.”

Jackson turned his head towards Jinyoung instead of answering Jaebum back. The underboss was staring hard and with severe intent, boring a hole in Jinyoung’s face. “I don’t hate you, to be honest. But don’t give me a reason to. Are we clear?”

Jinyoung wanted to say that no, nothing was clear. If anything, everything that had happened since he entered the dining hall was confusing. But before Jinyoung could think of a lame excuse as a reply, Jackson stood up from his seat – apparently done with eating.

“I’m serious, Jinyoung. Family comes first and you’re a part of it now. But Jaebum _is_ my family.” Jackson said in a low tone, void of  the usual lightness that accompanied his words.

“There’s really no need to threaten my husband, Jackson,” Jaebum scowled. “Stop it.”

“I don’t care,” Jackson rolled his eyes but the spark in his eyes were instantly back that signalled he was done being serious. “And maybe you should have thought of that before _you_ mentioned Mark. I’m a bit sensitive towards anything negative thrown his way, okay?”

Jaebum sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re really a handful, you know.”

Jackson just grinned before turning on his heels and proceeded to walk out of the hall while whistling a merry tune.

The whole affair was odd and Jinyoung did not understand anything that went down. It was very vague and cryptic. Nothing was said but it appeared that a whole lot of things were settled between the brothers. It was so weird.

“What just happened?”

Jaebum cocked his head to the side and raised a brow. “Nothing you should be concerned of. Just finish your food, tesoro.”

 

 

Jinyoung finished showering. He had half the mind to just forget the events of the morning and went on to think about what he would do for the day.

Youngjae got sent somewhere to Kaesong which worried Jinyoung a little bit. Scratch that, Jinyoung worried a lot because why would Youngjae be in North Korea? That was very dangerous and even if he was a mafioso, there were no guarantees to his safety. Just what was Jaebum thinking when he decided to stake claims on North Korean lands – it was beyond crazy. Did his husband’s power reach even across the borders of their warring countries?

Jinyoung knew that Jaebum had ties to nations all over the world – but North Korea, really?

He sighed as he plucked a dress shirt from his wardrobe, thoughts about how there was still so much more he has yet to discover about Jaebum’s famiglia plagued his brain. He shrugged the shirt on and walked in front of the full-length mirror to examine himself. However, what he saw made him pause and gasp.

Jinyoung went closer to the mirror, disbelieving what he was seeing as he tilted his head to expose more of his neck.

_What the fuck?_

His throat was decorated with marks and bruises, all varying in shapes and sizes. They scattered across the expanse of his neck, from under the jaw to his clavicle. And oh God, were those teeth teeth marks along the bone? It suddenly clicked on Jinyoung why Jackson made the remark of him being attacked by pests and why Jaebum just smirked proudly.

 _That jerk!_ Jinyoung could not believe that his husband had marked him like that – so barbaric. Heat rushed to his face and a tingling warmth surrounded him but he immediately stomped off the annoying feelings that were trying to distract him from the atrocity Jaebum did. He could not be swayed to feel all excited and giddy when his husband clearly laid out his mark on him.

And Jaebum had appeared so proud of it. _How insolent!_

Just as he was silently fuming, the door to his room opened and revealed his husband who entered without asking permission.

Jinyoung turned his head to glare at Jaebum and call him out for his indecent behaviour. “You-” Jinyoung exclaimed, “How dare you put marks all over me? You’re such an asshole.”

Jaebum walked towards him, appraising Jinyoung from head to foot and cocking his head to the side. “Are you trying to seduce me, tesoro? Why is your shirt open?”

Jinyoung felt his face heat even more upon realising that yes, his torso was very much exposed. But that was not the important matter. “Shut up. Don’t look.” Jinyoung glared even harder, “Just why did you do this, Jaebum? Why are you such an animal?”

“Don’t you like it?”

Jinyoung was shocked frozen. He was not certain he heard that right. “W-What?”

Jaebum clicked his tongue and walked closer towards him. “I said, don’t you like it? Be honest with me.”

Jinyoung gulped as Jaebum turned him around so that they were both facing the mirror – with Jinyoung looking like his head would explode from the crimson blush he sported and Jaebum standing firmly behind him, hands encircling his waist, drawing him closer.

“Do you hate it? The marks when you look at it now? Or the moment I was giving them to you?” Jaebum whispered the words right in Jinyoung’s ears and started nuzzling his neck.

Jinyoung shivered – from the low whisper, from the proximity of Jaebum’s face, or from the way Jaebum kept his eyes pinned on his through the mirror. In all honesty, he did not hate the hickeys that littered his neck. It was the surprise, the lack of his knowledge about it that irked him. He was not aware that Jaebum made art on his neck and Jackson had seen the masterpiece.

Jinyoung remembered giving in to the make out session they shared but he really did not think that Jaebum would leave proof behind.

“I-I don’t hate it,” Jinyoung stammered when Jaebum poked out a tongue and licked on the sensitive spot behind his ear.

“Then what’s the problem, hmm?” Jaebum hummed and the vibrations sent bouts of electricity down Jinyoung’s spine.

“I-” Jinyoung gasped when Jaebum bit on his skin, “What are you doing?”

“Giving you more? I thought you didn’t hate it?”

Jinyoung groaned, if out of exasperation or to mask a moan, it was something only him would know. He placed a hand on Jaebum’s fists that were laced over his abdomen, “Jaebum, stop. You can’t just do that because you want to.”

“Why?”

Jinyoung searched for words to say. Why was it wrong, indeed? “I don’t know. Isn’t this inappropriate?”

Jaebum chuckled and stopped his attack on Jinyoung to face him straight at their reflections in the mirror, “Tesoro, we’re _married_. We should be doing far more than this, frankly speaking.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened. Did Jaebum want to-? Of course, his husband wanted to; Jaebum was a man and all men want sex. Hell, even _he_ had thought about it. Shit.

“Don’t look so panicked,” Jaebum chuckled. “I won’t do anything you don’t like. I’m not _that_ much of an animal.”

Jaebum then stepped back and plopped himself on Jinyoung’s bed, eyes trained and focused on Jinyoung who was suddenly left standing awkwardly.

Jinyoung felt Jaebum’s gaze on him as it traveled all over his body. He stood paralysed, looking at the floor towards Jaebum’s direction. What was he supposed to do? Follow Jaebum on the bed? And for what – that made him nervous. Did Jaebum want to have sex now? Jinyoung panicked; God, he was not prepared.

“What? Why are you just standing there, Jinyoung?” Jaebum’s loud voice broke through the odd silence of the room. “Are you really trying to seduce me, tesoro? Please, button your shirt.”

“I’m not!” Jinyoung exclaimed and turned in his heel, his back towards Jaebum. He could see from the mirror that his husband was wearing that annoyingly handsome smirk. Jesus, Jaebum was testing his patience. “Why are you even here? Don’t you have a criminal syndicate to run?”

“I do,” Jaebum replied, ogling Jinyoung’s backside without shame that made Jinyoung want to squirm.

With all seriousness, Jinyoung wanted to cover himself up in blankets with the way Jaebum kept looking at him like he was a piece of meat. His husband appeared to have turned on a switch that made him predatory.

“But I am also the Don, in case you’re forgetting,” Jaebum continued. “I am the boss and I can run my famiglia anywhere I want, tesoro.”

“So you’ve decided to stay home?” Jinyoung, finally with his shirt buttoned up all the way, turned to face Jaebum. “What are you even going to do here?”

Jaebum shrugged, “We’ve been hitting dead ends about who sent that package to you, Jinyoung. And we couldn’t delve into it more since doing so would involve the other famiglias and right now, Bang is really pissed off at me for something Jihyun told him.” He sighed, “Until she comes back, I won’t be able to prove my suspicions. And then there’s the run in between some of Yugyeom’s men with the police that Jackson and I had to pull strings to resolve.”

Jinyoung frowned. The matter with the package was still looming over them eerily and to know that they could not do anything more but wait was frustrating. He knew Jaebum can just drop by Jihyun’s house and ransack the place for evidence but that would be a really bad decision since the crazy woman was Yongguk’s cousin. They would risk a war and Jinyoung knew that was not an option.

He was appreciative that Jaebum was telling him things that were going around his famiglia but he did not know what answer Jaebum expected from him. Was this his husband’s way of involving him more? How could he even help – the situations were all heavily mafia related.

“And you’re saying all of this to me because?”

Jaebum lied down on his bed; the crisp suit he wore crumpled under his weight. “I’m telling you this because I’m tired. I haven’t told anyone since they see me as a leader. But you, you don’t. I don’t even know if you respect me so I’m assuming you won’t care.” He let out a very audible sigh, “But tesoro, I’m tired and I just want to sleep.”

Jinyoung was certainly not expecting that. He had always thought of his husband as a scary and formidable man, unbreakable and commanding. To see Jaebum declare that he was tired of the duties to being Don – Jinyoung certainly did not know how to respond.

So, he followed his instincts. He walked towards his bed and sat on the edge, right beside Jaebum who had his eyes closed.

He looked at Jaebum – like this, his husband almost looked like a child. The stress was evident in his face but the way his jaw was slightly jutted out made it look like he was going to throw a tantrum. It was as if skipping Don duties was Jaebum’s idea of rebelling. Well, perhaps it was.

“You know, you own the famiglia. Surely, you can do what you like. You’re the boss,” Jinyoung said. “Also, you can delegate tasks. Maybe put Mark in charge of the package case? He’s good at negotiations. Maybe he can find out more.”

Jaebum opened his eyes and squinted at Jinyoung in offence, “Are you saying that Mark is better than me at the job?”

“You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I can’t even do that,” Jaebum sighed. “Mark’s not supposed to be involved directly like that. He’s my adviser, the family doctor, the famiglia’s lawyer. But he doesn’t work in the field.”

Jinyoung was surprised at Jaebum’s chattiness. Almost always, he was the one pressing questions and urging his husband to respond with more than just smirks and nods. But this man who lied on his bed was another man – another facet of Im Jaebum that he was discovering.

“So are you going to just sleep?” Jinyoung asked.

“Hmmm,” Jaebum hummed and closed his eyes again.

“Wait, wait. On my bed? Really?” Jinyoung stood up with arms akimbo. The notion was ridiculous but his husband did not respond at all. He kicked Jaebum’s dangling leg but the Don did not even stir.

Was Jaebum already asleep? Right on his bed?

Jinyoung shook his head in exasperation. Sometimes, he just really did not get how Jaebum’s mind worked.

“Come on! You have your own room. Sleep there,” Jinyoung whined.

No response. He kicked Jaebum’s leg again to test of his husband had really fallen asleep.

“Stop that, Jinyoung,” Jaebum suddenly replied that took Jinyoung off guard and made him yelp.

“So you aren’t asleep! Go to your room, Jaebum.”

“Technically, I own the house. So this room is mine as well,” Jaebum replied while still having his eyes closed. “Just let me be. Or if you want, dry your hair and sleep with me. I would highly like it if you do.”

“What in the world are you saying?” Jinyoung’s brows shoot up high in his forehead. His heart wanted to leap out of his throat as well. He took a step back – this Jaebum was dangerous. Very, very dangerous.

“Stop being embarrassed about things like this. We’ve made out already. Sleeping together sounds like child’s play compared to that.” Jaebum chucked his shoes off, turned and climbed higher on Jinyoung’s bed – he positioned himself comfortably amongst Jinyoung’s pillows.

“Come here, tesoro,” He finally opened his eyes and beckoned Jinyoung to come to him with his hands.

Jaebum should look hilarious with his dark suit and socks on Jinyoung’s bed but the way his eyes smouldered and focused on Jinyoung made him look, well, not funny. No, not funny at all.

It was as if Jaebum was a magnet and Jinyoung was a piece of steel; he was being attracted and before he knew it, his feet began shuffling closer to the bed.

Jaebum patted the surface beside him, “Come here.”

Fortunately, unlike his husband who looked like he belonged to a conference room instead of under the blankets, Jinyoung was wearing a far more comfortable set of pants and shirt. His hair was damp but not soaked; it might cause his pillow to be damp as well and would pose a risk to him catching a cold – but his husband was still staring at him with such intensity  that did not falter even for a bit. Jaebum was still waiting for him to climb beside him.

Jinyoung sighed. It was a losing battle anyway. Jaebum was the Don and he got what he wanted. All the fucking time.

 

 

Jinyoung found himself pinned under Jaebum. He had woken up after a very long and comfortable nap in Jaebum’s bed – yes, Jinyoung had gotten accustomed to sleeping with Jaebum beside him during the day; only during daylight though, and only _sleeping_ , strictly speaking – only to yelp when the first thing he saw was his husband staring right at his face. He had jerked and reflexively pushed Jaebum away with enough force that made Jinyoung’s eyes widen in horror when his husband fell off the bed and groaned.

That had been the premise of Jaebum avenging himself. His husband glared at him and scowled _then_ climbed back up, pushed Jinyoung down the mattress, threw a leg over his hip and positioned himself atop him. Jaebum straddled him and he could only lie down with his eyes blown wide in surprise at how the whole situation had escalated. He only pushed Jaebum away because he was surprised; how did they go from there to straddling all of a sudden?

“What are you doing?” Jinyoung’s exclaimed. “Get off me.” He winced at how it sounded like a statement, void of protest and actual distaste.

It did not go unnoticed to Jaebum and a smirk replaced the scowl his husband wore on his face. “That wasn’t very convincing, tesoro. I don’t think you want me to actually get off you.”

Jinyoung turned his head to the side, averting eye contact as he tried to slow down his quickening pulse. “I just got surprised! You were staring at my face, Jaebum.”

“Well, it’s a good face.”

Jinyoung blushed a deep crimson, “But while I was asleep? That’s weird and creepy!.”

Jaebum hummed as if in agreement that what he did was really odd. “It was but can you blame me?”

“You’re so insufferable!”

They fell into silence, staring into each other’s eyes without uttering a single word. And as if it just dawned on the both of them the position they were in, Jinyoung squirmed simultaneously as Jaebum leaned down.

Jinyoung knew what was going to happen next. Jaebum’s eyes told it all and even if he missed that, his own heart was on high alert and paid too much attention at Jaebum to miss the way his husband focused on his lips. Jinyoung closed his eyes and welcomed Jaebum’s mouth on his.

Jinyoung liked kissing Jaebum. He had no experience with other people for comparison but he did not think that was necessary to prove that his husband was skilled at liplocking. Jaebum managed to always draw out a moan out of Jinyoung and would always leave him panting and breathless.

Yes, Jinyoung definitely enjoyed kissing Jaebum.

It had gotten easier to reciprocate kissing. It was now easier for Jinyoung to just let loose and do what felt good. Before, he had focused way to much on imitating Jaebum’s movements and being worried that he was not delivering good enough responses.

But it appeared that whatever he did, sloppy or not, Jaebum enjoyed it. His husband seemed to like kissing him as well, as simple as that.

Safe to say, their kisses always included a whole lot of licking and biting. Jaebum happened to have a habit of biting onto his lower lip and pulling on it. Not that Jinyoung had any complaints – he actually liked it; it would turn him into a more squirming mess whenever Jaebum miscalculated and used more force than necessary which would result in torn skin and bleeding lips.

Yes, Jinyoung also liked it when Jaebum got rough.

However, they had not progressed to more than kissing. No matter how intense their make out sessions got, it would stay like that – just kissing. It kind of lurked in the back of Jinyoung’s brain – what if Jaebum did not want to go all the way with him? After all, having sex would be useless since he would not be able to conceive and bear a child. Perhaps Jaebum also saw no point in it and just settled on making out.

“Tesoro,” Jaebum pulled away and bored his dark gaze into Jinyoung’s. “How far do you want us to go?”

Jinyoung frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?” He panted out. Kissing Jaebum always, always made him breathless.

“Stop playing dumb, Jinyoung,” Jaebum growled. “You know what comes next after kissing.”

Jinyoung gulped. Could Jaebum mean – sex? But he was just coming into terms how that would be impossible. And why was Jaebum asking him such stuff? By now, his husband should have already deduced that Jinyoung turned into a useless mess whenever sexual things were involved.

“Do I have to tell you how this goes? Step by step?” Jaebum dipped down again and started licking the expanse of Jinyoung’s throat – from the base all the way up under the jaw.

Jinyoung’s breathe hitched and he gripped on Jaebum’s arm, “What do you want me to say?”

“Tell me exactly what you want. Because right now, tesoro, I really want to fuck you,” Jaebum growled and then bit on his earlobe.

That elicited a moan out of Jinyoung and he could not help the reflex to buck his hips up, seeking for some kind of friction along Jaebum’s own.

He was already sweating and the clothes they had only made Jinyoung seek for relief more. Thoughts ran through Jinyoung’s mushy brain – there would really be no problem if he just gave in, right? As Jaebum had said before, they were already married – nothing could go wrong, right?

In the haze of battling morals, a single crack broke through his consciousness and brought forth a question in neon bright letters – did he want Jaebum to fuck him?

Jinyoung knew the answer to that was a profound yes. He had been curious about sex for a while now, especially that he had been waking up to painful morning woods for the past weeks. And to strengthen his reason, Jaebum was just always dripping with allure that made Jinyoung more and more inclined to imagine what it would be like to finally lose his virginity. All of his curiosities were egged further by his wildly beating heart. Certainly, there were no objections from the stupid pumping organ in his chest.

So yes, Jinyoung wanted to taste what sex was like.

“Then do it,” Jinyoung breathed out softly, hoping to all deities that he was making the right decision.

Jaebum stiffened, stopped at pulled back, “Did I hear that right?”

Jinyoung averted his eyes from Jaebum’s imploring ones, afraid that he would cower and turn around on his words. “I said, do it if you want to.”

“This isn’t a joking matter, tesoro,” Jaebum’s grip on his shoulder tightened and he sounded strained, as if having the conversation was taking a toll on him.

Perhaps it did, Jinyoung surmised. He had kept Jaebum at bay for so long that the idea of fucking someone must have opened the lid on his husband’s well-kept container and let his libido spill. Jinyoung shuddered – Jaebum would have a hard time holding back. His husband had been sexually deprived since he had married Jinyoung and it would be so, so easy for him to go wild at the prospect of sex.

“Do I look like I’m joking?” Jinyoung mustered the courage to reply. “Just, please, go easy on me?”

No elaboration was needed. Jinyoung was certain that his husband picked up on what he wanted to say. Both of them were very much aware that he was a virgin and he could only hope that Jaebum would not hurt him. After all, he was totally inexperienced.

“ _Fuck,_ ” Jaebum cursed as he placed a hand under Jinyoung’s jaw and gripped on it firmly, bringing Jinyoung’s face to look at him. “You don’t know how hot that was. You innocently asking me to fuck you. _Goddamn_.”

Jinyoung gulped at the intensity behind Jaebum’s dark orbs; it was so severe that his husband almost looked murderous, like he cannot wait to devour him.

“Alright then,” Jaebum said in a voice low and deep as he unbuttoned and tossed his shirt aside.

It was nothing he had not seen before. Jaebum’s body had been in display for more than he could count, but this – Jaebum naked while straddling him and with the intention of sex – this was new and Jinyoung forgot how to breathe for a second.

“Let’s remove your shirt first,” Jaebum eyed him for any sign of reluctance and albeit he hesitated for a brief moment, Jinyoung’s second guessing went off the window when Jaebum had placed a solid hand across his stomach. “Stop thinking, tesoro. Just enjoy.”

They had groped each other – or more like Jaebum had groped him – during their make out sessions before so Jaebum’s hand on his abdomen was nothing new. However, the pressure and warmth his husband was giving was entirely a new experience and sent shivers down his fingertips.

Jinyoung gave the tiniest of nods and Jaebum wasted to time getting him naked.

“God, Jinyoung, you’re beautiful,” Jaebum said in a gruff exhale.

Jaebum ogled his now exposed body without any shame that it was Jinyoung who felt embarrassed by it. He brought up his hands to cover his face, blocking the sight of Jaebum looking positively predatory above him.

“Don’t cover yourself, Jinyoung. You know I don’t lie and I only say things I mean,” Jaebum said and started peppering his naked chest with kisses.

Jinyoung shuddered, hands still covering his face. “Stop saying embarrassing things.”

“What’s embarrassing is you hiding your face using your hands when you could use those to express how you feel about what I’m about to do.”

“What-” Jinyoung was cut mid sentence when Jaebum licked on his left nipple. “Oh God!”

Jaebum hummed and blew on the hardening nub, “Not God, just me, Jaebum. Your husband.”

Jinyoung trembled when Jaebum mouthed on his nipple and started licking and sucking. The warmth sent shivers up and down along his arms, gooseflesh erupting and decorating his limbs. “Jaebum, _oh my god_.”

His husband’s hand found its way on his other nipple and tapped on it. Once, twice, thrice. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten about this one.”

Jinyoung could feel the smirk Jaebum wore as he shook and shuddered at the fingers that were massaging his right bud. Jaebum’s fingers were as adept as his mouth, twisting and tugging and pushing at his nipple. His husband’s thumb and forefinger rolled the hardened nub in sync with how he bit lightly on the other one with his teeth.

Jinyoung wriggled and bucked; he moaned and whimpered. He felt so, so hot and despite being half naked without a shirt, he felt warmer than he did before. His blood boiling and he ached. There was deep ache that formed in his gut that burned alongside his nipples – which were thoroughly reddened and abused.

“How was that, tesoro?” Jaebum asked and looked up at him.

Jinyoung was on edge; the ache in his lower abdomen pulsating with _want_. Jaebum, it seemed like, dragged him somewhere he did not know existed and left him hanging there. “Jaebum,” he panted, “more. Please.”

His husband smiled evilly and flicked on his nipple which made him gasp, “You mean more of this?”

He shook his head violently. Heavens, he was feeling so wound up and stressed; his body tight all over and seeked release. “No, no. _More_.”

“Hmm,” Jaebum brought his mouth back on Jinyoung’s body and he planted open mouthed kisses over his abdomen. “You sure you’re up for more?”

Jinyoung wanted to rip his hair out and scream. Jaebum was being a jerk. It was obvious that his husband was tormenting him, prolonging his agony. Jinyoung thought that once given the go signal, Jaebum would run berserk and take him in the blink of an eye. However, it appeared that going the opposite was his husband’s pick.

“You know what you’re doing,” Jinyoung glared at the top of Jaebum’s head which was still buried on his stomach. “I thought you wanted to take me? Why aren’t you doing it then?”

“Because I’ve waited for so long, Jinyoung, and I will take my time with you. Don’t you think I deserve that?”

Jinyoung groaned out loud. Surely, Jaebum could set aside _his_ own wants for Jinyoung’s. Jaebum had had sex before, this was Jinyoung’s first - can his husband be selfless for once?

As if reading his mind, Jaebum spoke, “Don’t worry, tesoro. This is still for you. I’m making _you_ feel good.”

Jinyoung was about to protest but got cut off when Jaebum palmed his dick. “Oh God-”

“See, I’m making you feel good.”

Jaebum unbuttoned his pants and dragged it down his legs, along with his underwear. His erection sprang up and Jaebum gave a whistle. “It’s beautiful, just like you.”

Jinyoung felt his face burn at Jaebum’s shameless remark. _Jesus Christ_ , just how crude can his husband be? He shut his eyes harder and buried his face deeper into his palms. He would not dare look at his husband who was probably ogling his dick like it was natural to do so.

He felt Jaebum spread his thighs wider and situate himself between them. He was left wondering - was Jaebum going to jerk him off? Jinyoung’s toe curl at the thought of his husband’s hand pumping his dick. Fuck, just the thought of Jaebum giving him a hand job made his already throbbing cock, well, throb more. He held his breath in anticipation for what was to come.

What happened next made Jinyoung shoot his eyes open in pure surprise, however. It was not Jaebum’s hand that enveloped his length; rather, it was Jaebum’s mouth.

 _Good grief! Jaebum is sucking me off!_ Jinyoung’s mind supplied. His jaw fell open, leaving him speechless, and he could not believe what he was seeing. Jaebum was really in between his legs and engulfing his dick like a meal.

“J-Jaebum,” he whined when his husband licked a fat stripe under, from the base of his dick straight to the tip. “Fuck, Jaebum!”

Jaebum had the audacity to smile, “I told you. I’m going to make you feel good.”

His husband dipped down again to take in his entire length and Jinyoung’s hand automatically went to grip on the sheets. He could not stop moaning, even if he tried. Not when Jaebum was sucking him hard like a vacuum and giving him tiny, kitten licks at the tip, teasing his slit.

He was reduced to a writhing, moaning mess that Jaebum had to pin his hips down using both of his hands, “Tesoro, stop moving too much.”

As if he can control his body, Jinyoung wanted to scoff. At this point, all form of command his brain had had shut down. No amount of effort could snap him out of the hazy daze he was in. All he could feel, smell and see was Jaebum.

He gripped tighter on the sheets, pulling and crumpling them, as he panted open mouthedly. There was no room for shame and embarrassment – not when Jaebum was tonguing his cock.

He can feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge. Just a little more of his husband sucking and he would certainly come. “Jaebum, Jaebum, stop. I’m near.”

“Alright,” Jaebum released his erection which looked harder and redder than it was before being toyed with like a lollipop. It was wet – so slick with Jaebum’s saliva.

Jinyoung did not expect his husband to just stop. Sure, he asked for it but he expected sweet release – not Jaebum getting up from the bed to take a good look at him. Jinyoung felt fire coursing throughout his body, setting every nerve ending ablaze and waiting to consume him. But that would not happen if Jaebum just continued to stare at him. _God, it hurt_.

“Jaebum, what?” Jinyoung huffed. He really could not believe that his husband just left him.

Jaebum put an index finger across his lips in a gesture to silence Jinyoung.

Jinyoung was about to complain more but just as the words were about to spill from his mouth, Jaebum started unbuttoning his own pants. _Oh_.

“You think I’m going to leave you dry? After all that?” Jaebum shook his head in sync with how he chucked away his pants and underwear. “I told you, I’m going to make you feel _good_.”

Jinyoung sucked in a sharp breath at Jaebum’s complete nakedness. His eyes were instantly glued on his husband’s manhood, no matter how much he tried to avoid looking at it. The _thing_ was huge – thick and solid. Jinyoung did not have much comparison aside from the porn actors he had seen from the videos Bambam had forcibly shown him. But goddamn, Jaebum’s dick was throbbing and mad.

Jinyoung gulped despite the absence of saliva as his throat was instantly parched dry. Surely, Jaebum could not be thinking of putting _that_ inside him. It was going to be impossible; he was going to rip in half, for fuck’s sake. Suddenly, Jinyoung regretted ever goading Jaebum and consenting to have sex.

Jaebum stepped forward and Jinyoung could not help but ward him off. “No, Jaebum. Stop. Don’t come near me.”

His husband frowned, “What? Why?”

Jaebum looked legitimately worried that made Jinyoung a tad bit guilty. He felt bad for putting themselves in a compromising situation where he would back out from. But damn it – it was because he was frightened of Jaebum’s dick.

“You can’t possibly think that that-” Jinyoung pointed at Jaebum’s straining hard on, “would go inside of me. I will die, Jaebum!”

Jaebum, much to Jinyoung’s dismay, burst out laughing. It was loud and unfiltered – Jinyoung was actually offended. Here he was, admitting his shortcomings at sex and Jaebum had the audacity to laugh at him.

It was not his fault that he did not know how those porn actors receive and take such penises up their butts. He had winced throughout the video Bambam and he had watched, sympathising and worrying over the bottoms, as Bambam had called them.

He paled at his reality. He should have thought it over before asking Jaebum to fuck him. Jinyoung had heard more than one sob story from people Jintae’s gang had assaulted; they all included horrors of abuse and assaults, of men not stopping until they took everything from the bodies below them. Rare it was that sex was painted good by the poor masses. It was always the gangsters who flaunted their newest _acquisitions_ with glee.

How could he be so stupid as to forget about those just because Jaebum seemed different? He had been a victim to his own lust; it had tricked him to say yes and now all he could do was prevent Jaebum from finally breaking him.

Jaebum ceased his cackling and stared deep at Jinyoung’s eyes, “Tesoro, trust me. I, _we_ , can make it fit.”

“No, Jaebum. Stop.”

His husband’s easy grin slipped off his face, realising that Jinyoung was serious. There must be something he had seen or maybe, Jaebum had simply felt Jinyoung’s fear. “What’s wrong?”

Jinyoung refused to speak. He threw his hands back to cover his face, not wanting Jaebum to see just how embarrassed he was. Of everything – from being overconfident about sex and from his lapse in judgment that he still was not.

“Jinyoung, are you scared?”

Jinyoung was. He was scared of letting Jaebum take him but not because of his cock – hell, that was ridiculous. To be scared by an appendage when the whole concept of giving himself up weighed so much more. No, this time, Jinyoung was scared because Jaebum might hurt him. _Really_ hurt him.

“I’m not going to hurt you, you know that,” Jaebum coaxed. “And I’m not saying this just because I’m painfully hard right now.”

Ah, there he was – the self entitled asshole that Jinyoung had gotten used to. He groaned and hissed at Jaebum, “You’re being a jerk.”

“Yeah, but what I say is true. I’m not going to hurt you, tesoro.”

Jinyoung felt Jaebum sit beside him and he let his hands be removed by his husband’s gentle fingers. “Look at me, Jinyoung,” his husband said. “I’m not going to hurt you, okay? Trust me.”

Jinyoung saw the determination in Jaebum’s eyes and it was odd that such an emotion was displayed there. Jinyoung would have understood sincerity and genuineness but determination? He did not expect that. It was as if Jaebum was ready to prove to him that he would not hurt him.

And perhaps it was late to back out from anything. He trusted Jaebum after all.

“Okay,” he muttered softly, mortified at the way he was acting, back and forth on his thoughts, while they were both stark naked. “Just don’t hurt me, okay?”

“Oh, Jinyoung,” Jaebum dipped down to kiss him, “Since when did I ever try to hurt you?”

Just when Jinyoung was about to say something contradictory, he felt a finger skimming at his entrance. He stilled and held in his breath.

“Relax, Jinyoung. Trust me, remember?”

Jinyoung commanded his body to do just as his husband had said. The finger remained circling around his rim, putting more and more pressure but still not quite entering.

Jaebum’s other hand went to grip his cock, bringing it back to its previous rigidity before he was consumed with doubts. Jaebum pumped his length firmly and rubbed at his slit using a thumb.

Jinyoung was soon moaning and squirming like he did minutes ago – almost forgetting the finger in between his but cheeks. _Almost_.

Without warning, Jaebum poked in his finger and Jinyoung hissed at the sudden intrusion. It was not painful but the sensation was weird.

“Tesoro, relax,” Jaebum’s tone was low and calm, soothing him from the oddity of having a finger stuck up in his ass.

Jinyoung breathed in deep and he nodded at Jaebum to signify that yes, he was alright.

Jaebum gave him a tiny smile, just a small tug of his lips, before moving the said finger deeper inside. Jinyoung’s mouth fell open at the new sensation. It still felt weird, like the finger was not supposed to be inside him, but the way Jaebum’s pumping it through – it made Jinyoung crave for _more._

“Jaebum,” Jinyoung moaned. “Oh God.”

“You like it? I told you,” Jaebum replied, voice thick and heavy with lust. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

Just as Jinyoung was getting used to the feel of Jaebum’s index finger inside him, his husband got off the bed and reached for something inside the bedside drawers.

“Jaebum, what-” Jinyoung started to whine. Unlike a while ago, he was anticipating what would come next. The finger Jaebum had in him loosened him in all sense of the word – physically and metaphorically. So, he did not think he would like it if Jaebum just stopped. His hole was twitching, seeking for the warmth of Jaebum’s finger.

“Be patient, tesoro.” Jaebum procured a small bottle of what seemed to be clear gel and packets of foil. Lube and condoms. “I don’t want to hurt you so we’ll need these.”

Jaebum uncapped the bottle and squeezed out a copious amount of gel, coating and slicking up his fingers thoroughly. He grinned before positioning himself well over Jinyoung and said, “Now, we’ll get to the fun part.”

As soon as the words left his husband’s mouth, two fingers plunged into his hole and he could not help but hiss at both the coolness of the fluid and at the sensation of becoming even fuller than before.

“Jesus Christ!”

“Nope, it’s still me. Jaebum,” his husband smirked and picked up the pace, pumping into him harder and faster.

The addition of another finger should have stung, should have been more uncomfortable but Jaebum was easing into him with such precision, and maybe it was all about the trust he had in his husband, that he knew Jaebum would not hurt him, that the feeling was just pleasant.

Yes, Jinyoung was starting to get used to the feel and it was getting more and more enjoyable the deeper Jaebum shoved his fingers in him. Jinyoung felt sweat trickle down his forehead to the side of his face – the stimulation got more intense when Jaebum decided that plain in and out of fingers was becoming boring. It was not getting boring to Jinyoung in any way but as Jaebum stretched him further by making a scissoring motion with his finger – Jinyoung almost screamed.

“Ah, fuck!”

“Yeah, that’s the idea, tesoro. Just relax and _feel_.”

As if he was not feeling enough. Jinyoung felt like he was about to combust. He never knew that getting fingers in him could cause so much pleasure. And just when he thought that was it, Jaebum curled his fingers and hit something that made Jinyoung tremble and jerk.

He saw stars.

“Jae-Jaebum! Oh god, _there_!”

His husband assaulted the newfound point which Jinyoung could only guess as his prostate. He had learned from Bambam that hitting that part could cause someone to faint in severe pleasure. He did not believe the mafioso which he should have because as of the moment – Jinyoung felt that he was near to passing out.

His dick throbbed and ached and was painfully rigid, standing up towards his abdomen and waiting for release. His body was wound tight; he was high strung. He was nearing the end of his limits and he started reflexively pushing back at Jaebum’s fingers, urging the digits to get in deeper into him.

“Jaebum,” he gasped. “Please, more.”

“Alright, you ready?” was Jaebum’s only warning before he tore the foil and rolled the condom over his length.

Jinyoung sucked in a breath and stilled, hands automatically gripping on Jaebum’s arms. “Don’t hurt me,” he warned.

“As I’ve said, since when did I ever?” Jaebum hummed and placed a hand on Jinyoung’s shoulder and waist.

Jinyoung felt something poke him at the rim but instead of freezing up and freaking out, the look his husband was giving him made Jinyoung almost shy. There was an intensity behind Jaebum’s gaze that he had not seen before. Despite its heaviness, Jinyoung could see the softness in the stare.

Yeah, Jaebum would not hurt him.

The first thought that entered Jinyoung’s mind then was that Jaebum was big. His husband was definitely going to tear him into two and he shut his eyes hard in an attempt to not witness how he was going to die.

“Breathe,” Jaebum groaned above him. “You’re so fucking tight, Jinyoung. Breathe, inhale, exhale, okay?”

Jinyoung gave a tiny nod and tried relaxing himself. His hands on Jaebum’s arms were digging into the muscles – Jinyoung mildly worried about leaving marks. But the way Jaebum was gripping on his shoulder and waist too tightly; Jinyoung presumed that he would have bruises as well.

When Jaebum was hilt deep into Jinyoung and Jinyoung did not feel like splitting in two, he started squirming.

“Uh, I’m okay. I think?”

Jaebum chuckled, in that low and gruff voice of his, right at Jinyoung’s ear. “You really amuse me, you know?” He gave an experimental thrust that sent Jinyoung digging his nails harder into Jaebum’s biceps, “I’m going to move now, alright?” He groaned out, as if holding back himself, and then added for good measure, “You can scream, if you want, tesoro.”

And Jinyoung did scream. Even if he did not intend to, there was really no way to stop his throat for emitting loud, screeching sounds when Jaebum pulled out and slammed back into him.

It was so different from watching porn or reading erotica. Jinyoung’s mind short circuited, caught fire and was fogging his whole skull with smoke. He could not think – only Jaebum and the way he felt inside him.

“ _Oh god, Jaebum-_ ” he moaned when his husband hit that same point that drove him crazy. If the fingers prodding at his prostate before was enough to make him faint and see stars, Jaebum’s penis hitting that same part in him made him want to bleed open and offer everything to Jaebum.

“Jaebum, Jaebum, _Jaebum_.”

Jinyoung repeated his husband’s name like a mantra. After all, nothing else was making sense to him. It was all Jaebum.

“God, Jinyoung,” Jaebum groaned as he continued to impale him. “You feel so good, tesoro.”

No sounds can be heard inside Jaebum’s room aside from their skin slapping and grunts with Jinyoung’s occasional moan.

“Shit, Jinyoung, you’re so fucking tight.”

“ _Jaebum!_ ”

Jinyoung almost choked and he raked his nails down Jaebum’s arms when his husband bit his ears without warning. It was so unprecedented and he could hear Jaebum’s grunts more clearly at every thrust of hips. Jinyoung knew he would leave scratches, if not wounds, on Jaebum’s biceps but _goddammit_ – he needed to ground himself lest he really faint.

Jaebum’s grip on his waist also got harder, fingers and palm digging on the soft spot at his side that made Jinyoung shudder all the more.

It was all kinds of intense and Jinyoung felt the deep ache in his abdomen pulsating harsher as tingles ran throughout his body and making his toes curl.

“Jaebum,” he panted, “I’m near.”

Jaebum groaned and pushed harder into him, the rhythm he had set stuttering with the way his hips jerked and bucked irregularly. Jaebum was near his release too.

“Then cum, tesoro. Give. It. To. Me.” Jaebum punctuated very word with a solid thrust and soon after, Jinyoung crumbled with a shout.

“Jaebum!”

His husband continued to slam into him, chasing his own orgasm. “Jinyoung, fyou eel so fucking good.” Jaebum groaned and with one specific thrust, he came as well.

Jaebum rolled to the side and fell slump on the bed, sucking in ragged breaths.

Jinyoung was no better; he was laboriously trying to keep himself alive. The whole experience was mind blowing and he did not know why he was only experiencing it now.

_Right, because Jintae and the gang fucked his mind enough._

“Jinyoung, stop thinking,” Jaebum huffed beside him.

They were both very sweaty and cum covered, with Jaebum’s condom still rolled over his dick. But somehow, it was almost sweet – the way Jaebum laid a reassuring hand over his.

He sighed, “I don’t think I can even if I want to.”

“That good, huh?” Jaebum replied and even without looking, Jinyoung could tell that his husband was smirking. “So how was that for a first?”

Jinyoung blushed – was Jaebum really asking him how their sex went?

“You have no shame, don’t you? You can’t just ask me things,” Jinyoung hissed.

“And why’s that? There’s so much more I want to do to you, Jinyoung.” Jaebum propped his head on one arm and positioned himself so that he could peer down at Jinyoung. “And next time, I’m expecting one hundred percent participation from you. You need to work as well, tesoro.”

 

 

“Holy shit!”

This time, it was Bambam and Yugyeom who greeted Jinyoung with profanity so early in the morning.

“What the fuck, hyung! Did someone beat you up? You’re covered in bruises!”

Now, instead of playing dumb and innocent, Jinyoung blushed. He knew exactly what the made men were seeing. Bruises, in varying shades of green and yellow, decorating his neck, his arms – and even though covered with clothes, his hips and thighs as well.

It had taken him all of his willpower to walk down the kitchen and face his husband. But now that two mafiosi were present as well, Jinyoung felt that his face was suddenly too hot and he fought on the urge to run back to his room.

“Sit down, Jinyoung,” Jaebum’s ever so confident voice called out to him and he could clearly see red lines of scratches along his husband’s forearm where the sleeves were folded up to his elbow.

Heavens, he had caused those.

Jinyoung suddenly felt the urge to touch the marks, to run the very fingers that caused them over in a more gentle manner. He wondered if Jaebum would let him.

“Oh my god!” Bambam groaned. “Why do the both of you act like it’s the first time you’ve fucked?”

“Yeah, right,” Yugyeom added. “They must have done something really kinky last night for them to eye fuck each other at breakfast.”

“With the way Jinyoung hyung’s covered in bruises and Jaebum hyung with scratches? I’m positive they did.” Bambam wiggled his brows, “Care to share, hyung?”

That earned Bambam a fork flying towards his face which, fortunately, he had quickly evaded. Yugyeom burst out laughing as Jaebum threatened that it would be the knife next that he will throw if he would not shut up. And it would not miss Bambam then, not even by an inch.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T KILL ME IF THIS WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH  
> I TRIED I SWEAR I TRIED  
> I'm ashamed, it's not as good as I want it to be ;_;  
> Also, there was supposed to be more stuff going on in this chapter but the sex was so damned long that I had to cut it and save the other parts for next chapter.
> 
> ANYWAYS, tell me what you think. :))


	16. Chapter 16

XVI

 

Fortuna vitrea est: tum cum splendet frangitur

(Fortune is like glass—the brighter the glitter, the more easily broken)

\- Maxim 280, Sententiae, Publilius Syrus

 

 

Jaebum was in no way a virgin. He had not been one for a long time now. Heck, his first sexual encounter was right after he had been made, as some sort of a celebration Jackson had dragged him to. He could remember the way Jackson and he had sneaked out way after Hyejin and Seongwoo had fallen asleep; they crashed a house party somewhere and that had been that. Jackson and he had their first time with girls they were too stupidly drunk to even remember the faces of.

After that, it was some years of random fucks and one night stands. Then when he got tired of all the drama involving clingy men and women – those who did not understand that he was not looking for anything more than the space between their legs – Jaebum had kind of settled with Jihyun. She was pretty and was a famiglia woman. She knew how the mafia worked, how the mafiosi worked. It was practical and she knew that he was not looking for a relationship. Their arrangement worked until she had to leave for Italy. And that was alright because he had been dealing with more and more mafia duties. He was too preoccupied with the famiglia to look for a replacement to Jihyun.

And then Seongwoo had stepped down and he became the Don. And _then_ he had married Jinyoung – Jinyoung who was scared and angry.

At first, it pissed Jaebum to no end that his husband was always looking for a fight that he just did not have the time to engage in. Jinyoung had been full of spite; he had loathed Jaebum. But he was also very afraid – of what, Jaebum was not sure back then.

He did not know when his annoyance towards Jinyoung turned into fondness. What he viewed as stupid bitching became endearing and he had even goaded Jinyoung to act out more. Jaebum had, unexpectedly, learned how to enjoy Jinyoung’s feisty comebacks and snarky remarks.

But then his husband had been so, so scared – more than he already was and that had broken something in Jaebum’s chest. Something like a twig snapping, and he had realised that he liked Jinyoung and that he did not want him to be cowering and flinching anymore. He had seen potential in Jinyoung – the promise of a confident and capable man underneath his guarded exterior.

And along Jaebum’s efforts to make Jinyoung see that he was not the enemy – he had fallen. It would be too cliché and sugarcoated to say that it was love that he had fallen into, so Jaebum did not think it was that at all. He was not keen on falling in love either. That would just be a burden.

However, now that they had sex – Jaebum was not too sure about everything anymore.

That last barrier between their marriage, had been breached and Jaebum did not know what to do with himself. What they did was not like how he had sex before – the utter and complete trust Jinyoung had given him, the sheer faith his husband had to lay underneath him in a very compromising and vulnerable situation.

It made Jaebum feel like a virgin.

“So you’re saying you love him now because you’ve finally fucked?” Jackson scoffed, “What? Does his ass have magical abilities?”

Jaebum shot his brother a glare and before he could throw the vase beside him to his bastard of a brother, Mark had thankfully intervened.

“Can you please shut up, Jackson?” Mark whacked the back of Jackson’s head. “Don’t talk about Jinyoung like that.”

“I suggest you choose your next words carefully, brother.” Jaebum seethed, “I won’t tolerate you speaking like that to him.”

Jackson sagged in his seat and said in a small voice, “Sorry, the nasty words just keeps on coming to me. You know how I’m like when I’m worried.”

Jaebum sighed and his gaze softened. He knew Jackson did not mean actual harm towards Jinyoung. It might seem weird and downright crazy, but Jaebum mused that he would shade Mark just as much too if he even so much as imply that he would hurt Jackson. And it was just that – they did not know how Jinyoung really felt towards him and their relationship that Jackson was being overprotective.

“It’s fine, Jacks. I know you don’t mean it but tone it down, please.” Jaebum began twisting on the rings on his index finger, a habit he was not able to outgrow and he did whenever he felt uncomfortable. “But I don’t understand. It was you who wanted me to woo Jinyoung months ago.”

Jackson frowned, “Yeah, I wanted you to make Jinyoung fall in love with you. That way, he would think twice before doing anything disadvantageous to the famiglia. Not the other way around, with _you_ falling for _him_. You do know that’s dangerous, yeah?”

“He does have a point, Jaebum,” Mark supplied. “Not that there’s anything wrong with you falling for him but is Jinyoung feeling the same way? Towards you?”

Jaebum did not have answer for that. Half of the time, he was not aware of what Jinyoung was thinking. For all he knew, Jinyoung could have been plotting his death.

But his husband had been more open, more trusting. They had been spending good time together – napping, reading, eating, _kissing._ Their relationship had come far from what it had been in the beginning. Surely, Jinyoung must be feeling something – even just a tiny bit of _something._

“I don’t know,” he sighed.

“And there’s the issue of his father as well, Jaebum,” Jackson reminded.

Jaebum closed his eyes and stopped fidgeting with his ring in frustration – or maybe in annoyance. Jintae had been pestering him since that issue with the anonymous package Jinyoung had received. The man would not stop hounding Jaebum for favours and demands as compensation for the harsh treatment Jaebum had given. Jintae was seriously a pathetic man and Jaebum did not waste his time of the day to entertain his whims.

“Don’t remind me of the fucker,” Jaebum growled. He hated the man for what he had put Jinyoung through.

“It’s hard not to when he keeps on sending men to annoy us,” Mark said. “I’m not even in the field but his men bugs me too.”

“Yeah and can you believe he offered his daughter to me?” Jackson made a disgusting face, “She’s married!”

Now, that was something new. Jaebum could not be disgusted with the man even more than he already was. “And how does he think that would work?”

“He said a divorce would do it if I would like to take her in,” Jackson spat out, “And that if it’s us, her husband would surely back out. The fucker said it’s to strengthen our families even more. Who the fuck does he think he is?”

Jaebum clicked his tongue and he fought against the urge to punch something in the room. “He should know better than to think his _children_ would be his way up the fucking ladder.”

“People like him are stupid that’s why they’re _gangsters_. They wouldn’t work in our playing field,” Mark explained. “He probably thought that Jinyoung was against him and that’s why we’re not heeding to his favours. So now, he’s sending a more docile child into our family.”

“Fucker,” Jaebum hissed, “Doesn’t he know that it’s Jinyoung who’s part of our family and not him? I didn’t marry him, for fuck’s sake.”

“He’s stupid,” Mark shrugged. “But please, do something about it. I don’t like his men lurking around the dens.”

“I’ll see to it, don’t worry,” Jackson replied. “I’ll make sure he understands that when we say no, we mean it.”

“I would end him and his whole fiasco of a gang but I don’t know how that will sit with Jinyoung,” Jaebum pinched the bridge of his nose. “He’s his father after all.”

“Am I to be worried that Jinyoung’s going to interfere with your decisions?” Jackson asked, careful and hesitant.

Jaebum knew what his brother was thinking – that his newfound feelings for Jinyoung would impede and in a way affect the way he run the famiglia. That Jinyoung would make him less of their leader, their Don.

“Brother, you don’t have to worry about that. I’m a made man before anything else. You _know_ that,” Jaebum made sure his voice was clear and serious. “And Jackson, if he retaliates, do what you have to do. Do what a mafioso would do.”

 

 

__________

 

 

“I’ve been gone for, what? A few days and you’ve suddenly became a disgrace?” Youngjae shook his head in disappointment, “I shouldn’t have left you with _that_.” He pointed towards the lanky body that was buried under Jinyoung’s bed covers.

“Hey! What do you mean by that?” Bambam protested. “I’ve only been educating Jinyoung hyung on ways how to please Jaebum hyung. God knows how kinky Jaebum hyung is and Jinyoung needs to be prepared at all cost!”

“Yeah, right,” Youngjae rolled his eyes. “Clearly, all of us watching porn is for educational purposes.”

Jinyoung almost choked. They were currently in his room with the television playing another one of Bambam’s videos. He had adamantly refused to take part in what seemed to be one of Bambam’s odd hobbies but the made man along with his boyfriend, Yugyeom, were insistent that _he_ learn of such intricacies involving sex.

So now, they were all in Jinyoung’s room watching a man go down on another man.

Now, he was not innocent to porn. He had watched his fair share of explicit videos, especially during his adolescent stage. Furthermore, he had watched a video or two with Bambam before. But that was just them two; now having other people with him in the room – now _that_ was new and he did not feel too comfortable with it.

“I didn’t ask for any of this!” Jinyoung exclaimed to which Bambam just chucked a pillow at him saying _How ungrateful, hyung!_

Jinyoung wanted to take revenge but thought of doing otherwise. Retaliation only made Bambam more persistent. He sighed, “I’ve learned to tolerate the stuff they do.”

“You know, you could always ask Jaebum hyung to beat them up,” Youngjae shrugged. “He’s used to them pulling all kinds of shit so I’m sure he would do it gladly if you asked him to.”

“Hey!” Bambam protested. “Why are you ganging up on me? I’m just trying to help! Look at him!” The made man gestured wildly at the screen, “See how he rolls his tongue just as he’s about to suck? That’s prime blow job skills and you should be paying attention to details, Jinyoung hyung!”

“That’s it!” Jinyoung shrieked, “Get out or I’ll call Jaebum.”

“And say what?” Yugyeom scoffed, “That you got scared of dick sucking? I bet you, he’s going to be mad disappointed that his husband would probably never give him head.”

Jinyoung felt his face burn in embarrassment and he felt slighted. He could not help the ugly feeling that bloomed in his chest at being called out for his inexperience. His growing annoyance at the made men skyrocketed. Yugyeom had no right to mock him like that – it was very personal.

“Get out,” Jinyoung huffed.

“What?” Bambam raised a brow, “You can’t be serious.”

Jinyoung scowled, temper flaring and sending him to the limits of his patience. Jinyoung had never been known to be accepting of humiliation. “I said, get out,” He gritted his teeth in a poor attempt to control the rising heat trying to get out of his chest.

“Surely, you understand that that was a joke?” Yugyeom scoffed once again and it took much of Jinyoung’s willpower to not slap the made man across his smug face.

Fortunately, Youngjae felt the gravity of the situation and that Jinyoung was dead serious. “Guys, I think we should all go.”

Bambam shot them a weird look, “What’s wrong with you two? Just focus on the video, alright?”

Jinyoung would not stand for it. Perhaps he was overreacting, perhaps he was being unreasonable but the comment really got under his skin. Maybe Yugyeom did say it out of humour but it made Jinyoung feel some kind of shame.

So if the mafiosi would not leave, then he would.

Jinyoung strode to the door and slammed it behind him. He continued his forceful steps, not stopping for a second, until he reached Jaebum’s office where he knew his husband was. It was automatic; he had not thought about where he would go – his feet just brought him to stand in front of the Don’s room.

Jinyoung opened the door without hesitation; they had moved past awkward visits and reluctant conversations. He found his husband sitting behind his massive oak desk with a phone to his ear.

The Don cocked his head up, perhaps wondering who would barge into his office without so much as a warning, but when he saw that it was Jinyoung, he motioned for him to sit down and wait until he finished the call.

“Yeah, make it quick. I don’t want them messing this up. One slip and they’re done, okay? Make sure to let them know that I’m very serious.”

Jinyoung wondered what crime his husband was instigating now. Jaebum appeared calm and relaxed – _Maybe just a simple defiance against the law?_ , Jinyoung thought.

Jinyoung was sure that Yugyeom and Bambam were already being scolded by Youngjae and were wary of what he was going to tell Jaebum. It actually surprised Jinyoung that the two made men had not come running after him.

Now that he thought of it – what was he doing in Jaebum’s office? What would he even say?

He had stomped in haste and humiliation, and it completely slipped his mind to think what it was that he was going to _complain_ about to Jaebum

“What’s the problem, Jinyoung?” Jaebum’s voice snapped Jinyoung out of his thoughts – he had not even realised his husband was done talking on the phone. “What brings you here, tesoro?”

Jinyoung huffed, “Your men are exasperating.”

“What could they possibly have done to surprise you? From what I know, those guys are _always_ exasperating.”

Jinyoung scowled at Jaebum’s answer. That was true, however – Bambam and Yugyeom were walking disasters no matter the time and place.

“They are watching porn in my room right now, you know?” Jinyoung said.

“Those fuckers,” Jaebum hissed. “Why would you allow that? Bambam’s going to make it a habit, turning _my house_ into some kind of a sex dungeon.”

“Hey, I walked out on them, okay?” Jinyoung clicked his tongue in annoyance, “They’re running my patience thin.”

Jinyoung realised it a second too late. He had blurted out something that would surely pique Jaebum’s interest. His fear came true when Jaebum cocked his head to the side and smirked.

“And why is that, dear husband?”

Jinyoung gulped. Once Jaebum had fixated on something, he would not stop until he got an answer – even if it took bullying to get it out of Jinyoung. Okay, perhaps that was an exaggeration but it always felt like Jaebum had the upper hand and it did not help that his husband liked to tease him at every opportunity that arose.

“Come on, Jinyoung. What did the kids do that made you run here for comfort?”

_Comfort_. It slowly dawned on Jinyoung that he did run up to Jaebum’s office in the hopes that his husband would provide some sort of comfort for his annoyance. It was not an active and direct thought – it had been very subtle and subconsciously directed.

Jinyoung had sought Jaebum once again for relief.

He winced as he admitted, “They called me out on my reluctance to dick sucking.”

At that, Jaebum frowned deeply. “And why were you on the topic of dick sucking?”

“Porn was playing, Jaebum,” Jinyoung rolled his eyes. It did not take a genius to guess that his husband’s frown was more about being possessive that he was talking about giving blow jobs with other people than it was about them simply desecrating Jinyoung’s room by watching videos of sex. Jaebum worked like that – he disliked Jinyoung being involved in sexual talks without his presence.

“I know that. But why was there a conversation about _your_ sexual preference? What does Bambam care if you liked giving head or not?”

“Jaebum, relax. They were teasing me about being a prude. And it’s not like I would suck their dick. That’s just gross.” Jinyoung made a puking gesture to emphasise his point.

Jaebum was quiet for a while, a hand going down to one of his many rings to twist and turn it around his finger. “So you’re saying you won’t give head?”

Jinyoung’s mouth suddenly went dry. He sensed that the conversation they were going to have next would have nothing to do with the made men in his room anymore. They were dancing on the edge of something dangerous again and Jinyoung’s gut told him that he was about to give in anyway.

“I’m saying that the thought of sucking Bambam’s or Yugyeom’s or Youngjae’s dick is gross,” Jinyoung said carefully. “But I haven’t given much thought to the actual art of blow job before.”

“How about now? Have you thought about it well enough _now_?”

Jinyoung stared at his husband. The idea of him kneeling in front of and between Jaebum’s thighs like how the person in the porn video they were watching did; the feel of Jaebum’s cock in his mouth, hot and heavy.  The sounds Jaebum would make because of him – the imagery was enough to make Jinyoung’s stomach coil in warmth and excitement.

“Y-yeah,” Jinyoung stammered.

“Well?” Jaebum prompted, “Would you like to suck my cock, tesoro?”

Jinyoung’s pulse quickened and his breathing became irregular. Trust Jaebum to ask the crudest of questions that would make him squirm. His husband just had to be severely blunt and frank. Jinyoung’s face burned in embarrassment over wanting to say _Yes, I would like to try_.

“Come on, Jinyoung,” Jaebum scooted his chair back enough from the desk and patted his thighs as a signal for Jinyoung to just come over. “There’s no reason to be shy now. There really isn’t, so come here and suck me if you want to try it.”

Jinyoung glared at his husband but stood nonetheless, “Can you please stop being so direct about these things? I can’t just answer you with ‘yes, please, I want to fuck’.”

“And why can’t you? Actually, I would like to hear you say that to me any time of the day, tesoro.”

“Damn it, Jaebum,” Jinyoung hissed as his husband took hold of his wrist, when he was near enough, and drew him closer. Jaebum had spread his legs wider to accommodate Jinyoung in between and even if Jaebum was looking up to him in their position, Jinyoung still felt every bit under his husband’s mercy.

“What did I tell you about swearing, huh?” Jaebum clicked his tongue in disapproval. “Besides, you’re not a virgin anymore. You have no excuse left.”

“You’re such an insufferable jerk,” Jinyoung furrowed his brows even more as he sat on Jaebum’s lap sideways.

Over the course of days, he had found the perfect way to settle over his husband’s lap. May it be straddling both or just sitting on one thigh, Jinyoung had learned where exactly and how to sit for the two of them to be comfortable. It was a skill one had to master to be Jaebum’s husband – the guy really had the penchant of having someone on his lap. And Jinyoung was not complaining for he liked the position as well.

Jinyoung wrapped his arm around Jaebum’s neck and leaned in. And just like that – they were kissing.

Jaebum’s hands came to rest over his waist as he drew him closer in an embrace. Jinyoung liked this; he enjoyed feeling his husband’s warmth all over him.

Jinyoung opened up his lips and allowed Jaebum to kiss him deeper. Jaebum’s tongue entered his mouth and started licking every crevice there was, just like it did every time they kissed. Jaebum seemed to enjoy making him completely breathless. Jinyoung tilted his head a little bit to the side to give more access to Jaebum who felt like he was taking a part of Jinyoung at every expert swipe of his tongue.

They continued kissing until Jinyoung was dizzy and decided to pull away. What he saw when he opened his eyes again was Jaebum’s arrogant smirk.

“Stop smiling like that. You look like a creep,” Jinyoung said, chest beating wildly from Jaebum’s nearness.

Jaebum snickered as a response. “Well, I’m not complaining or anything but is this why you came here in my office? Just to kiss me?”

Jinyoung’s face reddened. Why was his husband’s head always in the gutter? Jinyoung swore; he had awakened the insatiable dragon within Jaebum.

“Tesoro, surely, you can do better than just _that_ ,” Jaebum raised a brow.

“What? So you’re serious about the blow job?”

“Jinyoung, I’m always serious,” Jaebum said as he pushed Jinyoung backwards slowly into standing. “And if you want to try it, I’ll be very much obliged to help.” Jaebum, once free of Jinyoung’s weight, began to unbutton his pants.

“Oh my god,” Jinyoung’s eyes widened. “Are we really going to do that _here_?”

Jaebum hummed as he lowered his suit pants down along with his boxers and chucked them to the side. His husband grinned at him as if there was nothing wrong with his position – sitting on a chair in his office and half naked from the waist down. Jaebum’s erection was half hard already and resting up towards his abdomen proudly. Jinyoung wanted to scream at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“Oh my _God!_ ” Jinyoung exclaimed. “You are unbelievable.”

“Why? This is as good a place as anywhere else in this house,” Jaebum continued to grin lasciviously as he spread his legs wider and slouched relaxedly on his seat, beckoning Jinyoung to come near again. “Now, come closer and start working.”

Jinyoung shot Jaebum a nasty look but settled in between Jaebum’s thighs once more. “What do I do?”

“Kneel and put me in your mouth, tesoro.”

Jinyoung gulped and steeled himself. He went down on his knees so that he was face to face with Jaebum’s growing erection. At the distance he was in, he could smell his husband’s musk and he would be lying if he said that that did not arouse him – because it did. Big time.

Jinyoung eyed his husband’s cock and wondered how it would taste like, how it would feel in his mouth. Jaebum had given him head during sex before and the sensation literally blew Jinyoung away. He hoped that he would be able to deliver the same pleasure to his husband. He wanted to please Jaebum and perhaps prove to the mafiosi back in his room that he had game in dick sucking.

However, of course, he was inexperienced and he felt shy that he did not know the first thing about blow jobs. _Is it all just about sucking? Is that really it? Or is there something else?_

Jinyoung peered up to his husband who was looking at him expectantly.

“What are you waiting for? Go on and try it,” Jaebum coaxed. “You don’t know how much it turns me on to see you on your knees between my legs, tesoro. Come on and suck before I throw you across my desk.”

Jinyoung slapped Jaebum’s thigh in mortification, “Shut up!” His husband was really shameless, alright. “I-I just don’t know how?” Jinyoung started. He reckoned that there was no sense in keeping things to himself, not when Jaebum was half naked and was taunting him to give head. “Do I just, uhh, you know, suck? Or is there something else behind all of this?”

Jaebum chuckled and shook his head in mirth, “Ahh, tesoro, you really amuse me.” Jaebum placed a hand on the side of Jinyoung’s head and gave a slight pull so that Jinyoung’s face came only inches away from his straining dick.

_When did it become fully hard? Is Jaebum really getting turned on by me kneeling?_ , Jinyoung thought. If that was the case, then his husband was truly and irrevocably a pervert.

“Just mind your teeth then lick and suck me. You’re a fast learner, I’m sure your instincts will kick in.”

Jinyoung nodded and cleared his mind. There was only him, Jaebum and Jaebum’s cock.

He placed a hand on Jaebum’s thigh while the other took hold of Jaebum’s length. Jinyoung first gave tentative licks on his husband’s dick, tasting it and familiarising himself with the feel. He heard his husband hiss and he thought that perhaps he had done something wrong but when he looked up, all Jaebum gave him was a nod and a firm grip on his hair to continue.

So, Jinyoung resumed his licking and tasting. Jinyoung felt Jaebum’s thigh tense and his cock pulsated harder, growing harder and thicker under Jinyoung’s tongue and hand. Then without any more second guessing, he engulfed the entirety of his husband’s dick.

Jaebum groaned and his grip on Jinyoung’s hair got even more tighter which Jinyoung took as a positive sign.

He started sucking, pulling from the base up to the tip. He repeated the motion and put more force in hollowing his cheeks. Jinyoung bobbed his head up, down, up, down and he realised mid-suck that as much as he enjoyed Jaebum groaning above him – he enjoyed having a dick in his mouth more.

The feel of Jaebum’s length, wide and thick, in his mouth made Jinyoung feel sexy. It might be odd considering that his position, kneeling and being debauched from the mouth, was anything but empowering. It might even be a little bit degrading however, Jinyoung felt otherwise. The knowledge that it was him who was making Jaebum grunt and hiss – it gave him such a feeling of control and rush of freedom.

And as Jaebum groaned _Ah, Jinyoung, fuck!_ – yeah, it made Jinyoung feel sexy, alright.

Jinyoung flattened his tongue and licked a fat stripe along the underside of Jaebum’s shaft which made Jaebum grunt. Jinyoung hummed in delight; it seemed that giving head was not all that hard after all.

However, Jinyoung was only human and still a beginner. So no matter how much he enjoyed sucking, his jaw started to ache and he found breathing to be more and more difficult as he went on. He decided to withdraw a bit from the entirety of his husband’s length. But not wanting to completely let go of it, he settled on just tonguing the tip. And as his tongue brushed over the slit, Jaebum bucked his hips.

“Fucking hell, Jinyoung,” Jaebum hissed. “That feels so fucking good.”

Jinyoung was taken aback by his husband’s sudden exclamation. His new position permitted him to tilt his head up and look at Jaebum. What he saw made the warmth pooling in his abdomen from the feel of Jaebum’s cock in his mouth intensify.

Jaebum had his eyes shut close tightly and his head was thrown backwards, exposing the long expanse of his strong neck. His husband’s jaw was clenched tight as his teeth gritted against each other. The grip on Jinyoung’s head still had not loosened up.

_Goddamn,_ Jinyoung felt his own erection strain in his pants. Jaebum was absolutely gorgeous.

“Jinyoung, tesoro, stop staring and fucking go back to sucking,” Jaebum said in a clipped tone. “I’m so fucking near.”

Jinyoung got the idea and he was not one to be told twice so he delved right back into sucking his husband. What he did not expect this time around was Jaebum’s jerkiness. His husband was not lying when he said he was near release.

As soon as Jinyoung had Jaebum’s dick up inside his mouth again, Jaebum’s grip on his head got harsher. His husband started to buck his hips upward, forcing more of his length down Jinyoung’s throat.

The first hit of Jaebum’s cock on the back of his throat made Jinyoung gag. His reflex prompted him to pull away but Jaebum’s hold on his head was firm and unyielding. Jinyoung choked and he pursed his lips in an attempt to slow down his husband’s assault.

However, Jaebum was relentless, grasping for sweet release that only Jinyoung’s mouth can offer. And out of panic, Jinyoung had scraped his teeth on Jaebum’s dick.

“ _Fuck!_ ” Jaebum exclaimed violently.

Jinyoung got startled and he instantly felt a bit scared. Had he hurt Jaebum? His husband had said for him to mind his teeth but Jaebum was being forceful that Jinyoung forgot for a split second to cover his teeth with his lips. _Shit, is Jaebum mad?_

Jinyoung’s instantly pulled away. His husband was staring down at him and Jinyoung was about to apologise when Jaebum beat him to it.

“Jinyoung, why did you stop?”

“Did I hurt you?” Jinyoung fidgeted with his hands. He wanted to reach for Jaebum’s erection that was still standing rigid and rock hard; he wanted to caress the sensitive appendage. Did he just ruin the whole thing? “I didn’t mean to expose my teeth. It’s just that you were choking me and I couldn’t breathe.”

Jaebum clicked his tongue and placed a hand on Jinyoung’s cheek, stroking it softly. “Tesoro, no, you didn’t hurt me. If anything, I like the pain.”

“B-but you said to mind my teeth!”

“Yeah, because it’s your first time and I wasn’t sure that you won’t just bite my dick off, you know? But scraping? Hell, yeah, I’m so turned on.”

Jinyoung started at Jaebum with mouth agape. Just how kinky can his husband be? First, it was the lap sitting. Then, it was the low key exhibitionism. And _now_ , he was into pain too?

“And I’m sorry for choking you. That turns me on so bad as well. But it’s your first time so I shouldn’t have lost control there. Please, come back and finish me off?” Jaebum sounded pained. And maybe he was, being left hanging after a blow job like that. “I’ll try to keep myself still.”

Jinyoung blinked at the turn of events. Conversations with his husband, even during oral sex, really turn out in the weirdest of ways.

“Okay,” Jinyoung agreed and returned his mouth over Jaebum’s cock. He paced with a rhythm that was comfortable with him and then built it up.

Jinyoung could feel that Jaebum was near – heck, his husband was near a whole damned minute since. He continued sucking and hollowing his cheeks; he incorporated some licking at the tip and a little bit of teeth scraping which he found that Jaebum really enjoyed.

His husband’s thighs tensed even more and his pants got more ragged. Jaebum was about to cum and Jinyoung made sure to see it to the very end.

“Tesoro, fuck, I’m cumming,” Jaebum groaned. “Pull back or else, _shit_.”

Jinyoung backed away a second too late and Jaebum had spurted his cum before Jinyoung was completely detached from his dick. The white and sticky substance did not shoot down Jinyoung’s throat but a fair share of it was directed in his mouth. And because Jinyoung was in the act of pulling away, his lips had been open wide, allowing the rest of Jaebum’s cum to spray on his lower face down to his shirt.

In an instant, he had been turned into a mess of Jaebum’s cum.

He sagged and fell back on his butt, knees aching a bit from kneeling. Even through his pants, he could feel the burn from the carpet and he only hoped that his knees would not bruise.

He laid there wide eyed and amazed at how everything went down. He had just given his first blow job and amidst the awkward parts, he enjoyed it. Jaebum seemed to enjoy it as well, seeing he had came.

His hand went up to his face, feeling the stickiness and slick from Jaebum’s cum. He swiped a finger across his cheek to get some of the substance. Some that went to his mouth tasted a mix of bitter and salty. It was odd but not disgusting per se. He had swallowed it and found that it was not so bad after all. He mused that he could get used to its taste.

As if testing his idea, he put his cum-smeared finger in his mouth, licking it clean and analysing the taste furthermore.

“Goddammit, Jinyoung,” Jaebum groaned from above him. “Stop that. You’re making me hard again.”

Jinyoung frowned as he saw Jaebum’s dick twitch, as if warning him that if he did not stop sucking his finger, it would come alive again. Well, Jinyoung found himself _not_ against the idea. Totally not.

“That was hot, tesoro. I didn’t mean to shoot some into your mouth but you just wouldn’t back away,” Jaebum huffed. He bent forward and urged Jinyoung to stand and sit right back on his lap. Which Jinyoung did – perching himself atop Jaebum’s thighs once more. “Damn, Jinyoung. You don’t know how fucking sexy you look with cum all over your face.”

Jinyoung made a disgusting face. “You’re gross, you know that?”

“Yeah,” Jaebum replied, hand resting again on Jinyoung’s waist and never minding the fact that his cock was still fully exposed. “How was that? Are you still not inclined to dick sucking?”

Jinyoung flushed crimson, which was ridiculous after everything that just went down, and buried his face in the crook of Jaebum’s neck. “Shut up.”

Jaebum chuckled, “Do you need me to return the favor?” His hand went to palm Jinyoung through his pants which earned him a whine from the man sitting on his lap. “What’s this, Jinyoung? Why is your crotch wet?”

Jinyoung buried his face even further into Jaebum’s neck, refusing to let his husband see his embarrassed face. “I came,” he said in a tiny voice.

“What was that, tesoro?”

“I said, I came, alright? Are you happy now?” Jinyoung huffed and shut his eyes.

“Oh god, you’re telling me you came from sucking _my_ dick?” Jaebum said in astonishment. “Fuck, tesoro, you’re way kinkier than I thought.”

Jinyoung groaned as Jaebum burst out laughing. He really did come in his pants untouched but he was not to be blamed. Jaebum made such sexy noises and had gripped his hair way too tight. And when Jaebum bucked into his throat? Jinyoung might have choked but he also came. _Shit_.

“Shut up,” he hissed at his husband which only prompted more laughter in response to his misery.

 

 

Jinyoung sat on his bed, looking at the infinite missed calls in his phone’s call log. He had turned his phone off for the entire day, trying to deter the unknown number that kept on calling. And now that he checked on it, his worry grew over the insane amount of calls displayed at his screen.

He thought that whoever was calling him would eventually stop if he ignored it. But it had been a whole week already and everyday, Jinyoung had to turn his phone off to prevent it from ringing every ten minutes and spark Jaebum’s curiosity.

He had yet to tell anyone of the mysterious and annoying caller, especially not his husband. Jaebum had a lot on his plate right now what with Jihyun still out of town and the issue of the horrid package still remaining unsolved. There was also a lot of strain on the famiglia itself; it appeared that they were encountering problems after problems that always left a grumpy Jaebum at the end of the day.

Jinyoung did not want to add to his husband’s concerns. So since the calls did not pose a legitimate threat to him or to anyone else, Jinyoung decided to just keep it to himself a little longer.

Jinyoung shut his phone again and tucked himself under the covers. That night, he dreamt of Jaebum’s hands and lips all over his body.

 

 

Saying he was surprised would be an understatement. He had not thought that Mark would invite him to dinner.

Jaebum had barged into his room that late afternoon while he was reading comfortably in bed and delivered to him the invitation but of course, not without chastisement.

“Where’s your phone, Jinyoung?” Jaebum leaned against his door frame.

Did Jaebum call him? Jinyoung still was not sure if he should bring up the matter of the unknown caller pestering him to his husband. After all, nothing out of the ordinary had happened yet and Jinyoung thought that maybe, he was just being paranoid. So, again, he decided to keep that information to himself.

“It’s off, Jaebum. Why? Did you call?”

Jaebum frowned at his answer but did not prod deeper. “You should charge it, tesoro. There’s no use to a phone if it’s dead,” he sighed. “And no, it’s not me but Mark who called. He wants to have dinner with you.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened then. That was new and he wondered why Mark would want to socialise with him. They were not on bad terms but he was closer and a lot more familiar with Youngjae; the idea of the consigliere wanting to spend time with him – well, that was certainly new.

“And I can go?”

Jaebum shrugged, “If you want to, then you can. You’re not a prisoner here, tesoro. Just know that there’ll be bodyguards tailing you so don’t freak out if you see armed men. And I trust Mark so yeah, that’s it.”

Jinyoung contemplated on his response. He was worried about going out without Jaebum. He had gone out without his husband once to watch a movie with Youngjae but that had been during the day. This time was different in the sense that it was going to be night and well, dark. He was wary of it.

“And I trust you as well,” Jaebum said, coming over to stand before Jinyoung. “Here,” Jaebum handed Jinyoung a gun – Jinyoung’s gun: the silver 9mm Luger that Jinyoung had returned to his husband after two weeks of not using it.

Jinyoung’s fingers caressed the cool barrel of the hand gun. It had been some time since he had last seen it and as he turned it over and under his palm, remembering the feel of the metal – the harsh reminder of why he had to learn how to shoot flashed in his mind as well and he clamped down the rising bile in his throat immediately. The memory seemed like years ago and he had almost forgotten it. Jinyoung shook his head to clear his mind – no use in dwelling over the past. It was all done and he would like to think that he had matured since then. He was smarter and stronger. He knew self-defense now and he trusted Jaebum. That might be his biggest difference from the old Jinyoung who loathed everything related to the mafia.

The present Jinyoung knew he had Jaebum now, and he trusted that the Don would not fail him.

“It’s too late for you to charge your phone so here,” Jaebum plucked his phone from inside his coat pocket and placed it in Jinyoung’s hand. “Use mine for now. My other phone’s registered as the first speed dial. Keep me updated on your whereabouts and be careful. Do you understand me?”

Jinyoung nodded then and that was how he ended up seated across from Mark in a fancy restaurant that one of the made men probably owned. A myriad of dishes were laid before them and glasses of wine were filled with deep, red alcohol. Jinyoung wondered what Mark needed from him.

“Go on, eat. Jackson swears he serves the best steaks in Seoul so go ahead and dig in,” Mark said over the rim of his wine glass.

Jinyoung did not doubt the quality of the food served. What he doubted was Mark’s intentions behind asking him out. “What’s the occasion? Why did you invite me out?”

Mark raised a brow at him, “Straight to the point, huh? I guess Jaebum’s frankness rubbed off on you.” He placed his glass down and looked at Jinyoung hard, “I have questions regarding your father.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened. He did not expect that. “My father? As in Jintae?”

Mark nodded, “Yes. Park Jintae has been bugging us and I’m having real bad vibes from all of this.”

Jinyoung clenched his hands over the utensils in his hold. He thought he had finally been relieved of his father but it seemed that even far away, Jintae was still finding ways to ruin him. “What is it that he did now?”

“Nothing really serious. Just childish games, really, but I’m wondering why he seemed to be so intent on asking us for favours. He had been running that measly gang for years and ever since, he’s been doing fine. Heck, he didn’t even want to give up Yeoui-do until Jaebum stepped up as Don,” Mark fixed his gaze intently on Jinyoung. “So you see, I’m wondering if you know anything.”

Jinyoung frowned. His father was a scum and never involved Jinyoung in any of the gang’s business. “He’s power hungry, Mark. He must be thinking that _you_ owe him something now that I’m married to Jaebum.” The reality of his marriage to Jaebum left a bitter taste in Jinyoung’s mouth and he took a swig of his wine to wash it away.

“But it appears that he doesn’t care about you at all. You don’t think it’s weird that he’s bugging us but not you?” Mark questioned.

At that, Jinyoung realised that maybe the phone calls he was getting were from Jintae. He had been ignoring those and perhaps that was why his father decided to directly come to Jaebum’s famiglia.

“Uh, I may have been ignoring his calls?” Jinyoung lamely offered.

Mark cocked his head to the side, as if finding Jinyoung suspicious. “And you haven’t told Jaebum of this?”

“I honestly thought they were the same person who sent me the horrid package. I turned off my phone because the calls won’t stop. I guess it’s Jintae after all,” Jinyoung winced in shame of having a father like Jintae. The man would not stop until he had more power.

Mark looked at him long and hard, willing him to spill out any more hidden secrets. “You do know I’ll tell Jaebum of this, don’t you? Unless you promise me that you would tell him yourself.”

Jinyoung sighed. “I know. I’ll tell him later.”

“Is that all? Or is there something else you’re hiding?” Mark said as he picked up his glass again and made a swishing motion to swirl the wine in it. “I may not be as brutal as Jaebum and Jackson but I’m still made, Jinyoung. I wouldn’t take it kindly if you lied to my face.”

“No, no, really. There’s nothing more that I know,” Jinyoung hurriedly said. “He doesn’t involve me in the gang business. And honestly? I think he hates me to the core to even spare time sharing crime plans with me.”

Mark hummed and took a sip of the burgundy liquid. “He seems to really hate you and your sister. He propositioned her to Jackson, you know?”

“That’s impossible! She’s married,” Jinyoung protested.

“Yeah, that she is. But your father is willing to divorce her if Jackson showed interest.” Mark clicked his tongue, “Your father really is garbage, isn’t he?”

Jinyoung could not agree more. It was not like his sister had it easier than him. She had married a fellow gangster – an old and greasy man who was running a gang at the neighboring district. The man had more money than Jintae and so he was the best candidate for her sister at that time. The man was also heavy handed and his sister had her own share of broken bones and bruises.

“I hate him, Mark. I hope you know that.”

The consigliere raised a brow at his response. “Don’t worry, Jaebum hates him too. And it’s never good to be the target of Jaebum’s ire.”

They continued eating in silence. Mark seemed to get what he wanted – and that was Jinyoung’s profession of his loyalty to their famiglia. It appeared that a lot of things were happening that he did not know of. Jinyoung made a note to coax some more information out of Jaebum. He did not need to be protected _that_ much. He can handle himself and he wanted Jaebum to rely on him as well.

Thankfully, the rest of their meal did not go on awkwardly as Mark engaged him in medical talks, answering his questions and updating him about things that he could read through. It was fun then and Jinyoung learned to appreciate the consigliere’s cool and calm demeanour. It was different from spending time with Youngjae or even with Bambam and Yugyeom. Mark was friendly but still imposing – no one would be mistaking him as anything other than made.

Nevertheless, Jinyoung enjoyed his time. Mark was sincere and did not have the habit of chastising him like Jaebum did or downright shading him like Jackson liked to do. Mark was every bit composed and collected.

After they finished eating, Mark did not bother paying as the whole restaurant staff probably knew who he was. They then proceeded to walk to Mark’s car which was waiting outside.

Jinyoung suddenly felt something was odd, as if there was a lingering wrongness in the atmosphere. He could not pinpoint what it was exactly as he raked his eyes all over the place. He just felt unsettled in the most chilling of ways. The hair on his forearm stood and he sensed the temperature drop a couple of degrees.

He glanced at Mark but the made man appeared to be unbothered. It seemed that it was only him who was feeling out of loop.

When they stepped out of the restaurant, the sensation intensified until Jinyoung was having laboured breathing. He did not, for the life of him, understand where the fear was coming from. But it was that – he was scared and he did not know why. His gut was just giving him big warning signs.

They crossed the street towards Mark’s car and rounded about it so that they were entering from the side opposite the street. And just as soon as the chauffeur unlocked the vehicle and Jinyoung heard the doors clicked open – that was when he heard guns fire as well.

Jinyoung stood frozen, hand on the door handle, as rounds of bullet rained over them. He realised it seconds too late that the shots were aimed at them, at _him._

He heard Mark shout for him and in a split second, the consigliere had forced him down to the ground. He slammed onto the hot concrete so hard, he was sure to have scratches and wounds over his face.

He looked up and saw Mark crouching over him. They were hidden and cramped almost under the car, using it as shield to the continuous rain of bullets. The loud noise of gunfire hurt Jinyoung’s ears and he was having a hard time processing what was happening.

Mark shook him in haste and the frantic look he had snapped Jinyoung out of his daze. They really were being hailed by gun shots. _Oh God_.

“Quick, call Jaebum. I’ll call Jackson,” was all Mark said as he flipped his phone to probably dial the underboss’ number.

Jinyoung reached for his pocket with shaky hands. He turned his head towards the road and from under the car, he could see the bottom of a black van that was situated right across from them. The pelting of bullets and the shattering of Mark’s car’s windows still had not stopped and Jinyoung was so damned close to crying already.

He speed dialled Jaebum’s other phone and out of relief, Jaebum answered after the first ring.

Jinyoung couldn’t formulate a sentence, however; the words stuck helplessly in his throat. He could only grip the phone tighter, holding it like a lifeline. Behind him, he could hear Mark firing away at Jackson but he was too shaken to understand what the consigliere was saying.

“Jinyoung? What-” Jaebum cut himself mid sentence and then continued with a distraught and hurried voice. “Is that gunshot I’m hearing? Jinyoung? Tesoro? Goddammit! Answer me, Jinyoung!”

Jinyoung sobbed on the phone, holding back the sounds in fear that their attackers would hear him from under the opposite side of the car.

“Jinyoung, tesoro, answer me please. Where are you? Where is Mark? Fucking goddammit!”

“J-Jaebum,” Jinyoung managed to choke out. “ _Jaebum_.”

“Hey, hey, breathe, Jinyoung. Where the fuck is Mark?”

After what felt like a lifetime, the gunshots stopped and the black vehicle across from them started moving away. It disappeared from Jinyoung’s line of vision from the tiny slit between Mark’s car’s chassis and blown out tires.

Everything was silent then. Not a whistle of wind or a rustle of leaf – it was as if time had stood still and Jinyoung could not hear anything other than the deafening silence and Jaebum’s pleas from the other end of the call.

Suddenly, a hand was prying off the cellphone from his grip and he immediately clutched tighter on it, not letting Jaebum’s safety be taken away.

“Hand it over, Jinyoung.” _Mark._ It was Mark and it was an order.

Jinyoung reluctantly let go of the phone and closed his eyes shut as Mark spoke to Jaebum.

“In front of Silver Jade. Yes, Jackson’s restaurant. They left already, it’s clear. Our men counterfired and I saw some of them tail the vehicle. Jacks is on his way.” Mark answered hastily. “We’ll be there. And Jaebum? Come quick. Jinyoung is really shaken.”

Mark disconnected the call and Jinyoung forced himself to stop the tears. “Breathe, Jinyoung. You have to breathe, okay? Let’s get back inside the restaurant. Jackson is on his way to pick us up to his place. Jaebum will be there. Everything will be fine.”

Jinyoung wanted to believe Mark but the near death experience made it hard for him to.

When they stood up from their position under the vehicle, Jinyoung almost vomited. The body of the car was torn with holes and every glass was shattered. What was worse was the condition of the chauffeur waiting for them inside – he was bathed in blood with gaping holes all over his body, his head was busted open, as well as his eyes. His eyes were wide open but he was very well dead.

There were also bodies laying on the ground in the vicinity. They must be the the famiglia’s soldatos. _God_ , Jinyoung prayed hard. There was so much blood around.

Jinyoung gripped hard on Mark’s arm, fighting against the dizziness he was starting to feel.

“Did you hit your head when I pushed you to the ground?” Mark whispered softly as they crossed the street.

Jinyoung slightly shook his head. His cheek was the first to come contact with the ground and he could only guess from the restaurant’s patrons and employees’ reactions that his face was busted. He touched his cheek and winced at both the pain and the sticky open flesh he felt.

“You have a big wound there. Don’t touch it,” Mark said to him and then continued on to ask the staff to bring him hot water and a washcloth – probably to tend to him.

“Mark, what the hell happened?” Jinyoung shakily asked, still gripping hard on Mark’s forearm.

“A declaration of war, Jinyoung,” Mark responded solemnly. “This won’t be pretty.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there!  
> It's past 1am here where I am and my eyes are literally giving up on me but hey, it's an update so :DD  
> Things are getting stirred again and I'm living for it :)) Time to bring in the mafia aspect into this mafia au.
> 
> So what do you think?   
> Drop in the comments your thoughts, suggestions and violent reactions!
> 
> P.S.  
> Violence aside, don't you think it's super hot and sexy the way Jaebum likes to keep Jinyoung on his lap? Like that's such a turn on for me - imagining Jinyoung sitting comfortably on Jaebum's thighs and them just kissing languidly? :D


	17. Chapter 17

XVII

 

Abyssus abyssum invocat

(Hell calls hell; one misstep leads to another)

\- Ars Poetica, CCCXXXV, Horace

 

 

Jinyoung sat in Jackson’s living room with a bandaged cheek. Jaebum had been worried, albeit furious, when he had seen Jinyoung’s gruff state – hands shaking, tear tracks staining his cheeks, suit jacket torn at the sleeves. It took Jinyoung pleading for Jaebum to stop his almost attempt at thrashing Jackson’s place. His husband was livid and murderous that Jinyoung got frightened of him. Thankfully, Mark pointed out to Jaebum that his display of aggression was only adding to Jinyoung’s anxiety and trauma. Jaebum glared at the consigliere before storming off to one of the plenty rooms in Jackson’s apartment.

Jinyoung was distraught and Jaebum walking out on them only made his head pound more. Mark had told him that that was Jaebum’s way of cooling himself a little, some sort of a prophylactic measure to avoid lashing out on the wrong people. And Mark was right – Jaebum would probably direct his anger at them if he did not isolate himself.

Shortly after, they heard loud thumps and crashes from a distance and Jinyoung fidgeted in his seat with more worry. Just then, Jackson appeared from the direction of the kitchen, holding two steaming mugs of tea in both hands which he offered to Mark and Jinyoung.

“It’s really a good thing I have a personal gym at home,” Jackson sighed as he sat on a couch across Mark and Jinyoung. “God knows he’ll break everything in here if it wasn’t for that room.”

“Is he okay?” Jinyoung hesitantly asked. He knew that Jaebum had a bad temper but it was the first time he was experiencing it full on.

“Yeah, give him a minute or two. He’ll come back here with lesser rage,” Jackson shrugged. “It’s always best to let inanimate objects handle him first.”

Jinyoung stared into the dark brown liquid in his mug. Mark and he just had a near death encounter which resulted to actual deaths of Jaebum’s men. It was horrifying; Jinyoung can still hear the car windows shattering.

“They will pay for this,” Jackson hissed. “Whoever is behind this, I will fucking make them pay.”

“I don’t disagree,” Mark muttered under his breath. “This is a blatant show of disrespect towards Jaebum. They know it’s us they’re shooting at. They know it’s _Jinyoung_.”

Jinyoung squirmed in his seat. If what Mark said was true, then his life was really in danger. It resembled that terrifying night where he was assaulted by the Han River – his life was being threatened because of his association with Jaebum once again. Only now, whoever was behind this was serious. So damned serious.

“They must know better than to go for family members. This means that they’re really dead set on waging a war, Jackson.” Mark was clutching his mug tightly and his face was marred with a deep frown; worry and something darker were lodged deep beneath the consigliere’s calculating eyes and Jinyoung shivered at the fact that they really were facing war.

It was hard to accept and the reality had not fully set in yet.

“You know what I’m going to say, don’t you?” Jackson’s brows furrowed as he directed the question at Mark.

Suddenly, there was a weird buzz in the atmosphere, like it almost always did when he was in the same room with Mark and Jackson. Only this time, it was tinged with dread and trepidation. And as Jinyoung looked alternately between Mark and Jackson – he felt that perhaps he was intruding in on something personal.

“I can’t, Jackson. I’m a mafioso and Jaebum needs me now more than ever.” Mark placed the mug he was holding onto the center table. “This is his first real encounter with the other mafias. I can’t leave him. I’m his consigliere.”

“But that’s it!” Jackson hissed, “You’re the consigliere! You don’t belong in the field. Please, Mark, stay far from this. I just _know_ this isn’t going to go down easily. Tonight alone freaked me out enough.”

It then clicked on Jinyoung what their conversation was about. Jackson was asking Mark to keep away from whatever this feud will bring. The underboss was telling Mark to be safe and far away from the risk of being hurt or worse. Jinyoung realised then that the relationship between the two was so much more serious than he thought. Jackson positively looked imploring; Jackson appeared ready to _beg_.

Mark reached across the table and laid a hand on Jackson’s clenched fist. “Jacks,” he said gently, “I’m made and Jaebum is my Don. The same goes to you. I understand where you’re coming from. Believe me.” There was a slight waver in the way Mark had said it, as if he was already in pain even when nothing yet has to actually happen. “I’ll assist him as how a made man should.”

“ _Mark,_ ” Jackson gritted out. “Not this time. Don’t fucking go _there_. Not this time.”

Before Mark and Jackson’s argument could go into more detail, Jaebum reappeared from the depths of Jackson’s house.

“You okay now?” Jackson asked Jaebum, voice strained as if he was torn between pleading Mark and checking up on his brother.

Jaebum eyed them carefully, heavy stare travelling from Jackson to Mark and to Jinyoung. He nodded and replied, “I still feel like wringing someone’s neck but it’s manageable.” He sat beside his brother, facing Mark and Jinyoung. “What’s going on? What are you discussing?”

“Nothi-” Mark tried to say but was harshly cut off by Jackson.

“I’m having Mark stay away from all of this,” the underboss said with steel in his voice and clenched fists, although he was avoiding Jaebum’s eyes.

“What do you mean, brother?” Jaebum queried.

“He doesn’t mean anything,” Mark snapped. “I’m your consigliere and I’m prepared to work with you in this. That’s what I’m here for. That’s what I’m _made_ for.”

Jaebum raised a brow in confusion but before he could say anything, Jackson piped up. “Fucking shut up, Mark,” he growled, “Don’t you dare use the codes for something like this.”

“That’s what they’re made for,” Mark said in a condescending manner, the earlier gentleness gone and replaced with bitterness. “That’s the number one rule, in case you’re forgetting. That the famiglia comes first. Always.”

“I said, shut the fuck up!” Jackson yelled that had Jinyoung grasping his seat in fear. He had not seen Jackson be _this_ mad, ever. It had always been the rude and arrogant underboss; Jaebum’s laid back and annoying brother. But this Jackson – this Jackson was angry and Jinyoung did not know what triggered him to be in such a mood.

Jinyoung chanced a glance at Mark and saw that the consigliere was silently fuming as well. Mark hissed back, “You can’t make me. You’re _not_ the Don.”

Jackson groaned, “You really want to go there, huh?”

“It’s the truth. I answer to Jaebum and not to you. He’s the boss, the leader and he might as well own me. But you, you don’t, Jackson,” Mark sneered with so much malice that Jinyoung wanted to bolt out of the scene.

They had just escaped death; why was Mark doing this to himself?

“Both of you, shut up.” Jaebum commanded with severe seriousness. His voice as he said it was very stern and firm – he was using his Don voice.

Jinyoung, for a brief moment, was amazed at the way the two other men in the room went rigid – out of fright or respect, it was hard to tell. Jaebum was the Don for a reason, after all.

“It’s not the time to be fucking arguing over this,” Jaebum continued. “We are at the brink of a fucking war so stop being little shits and act like made men.”

“But, brother,” Jackson muttered, “Please.”

Mark glared at Jackson as soon as the plea was out of the underboss’ mouth. Jinyoung wondered what was it that made the two so stubborn and antagonistic towards each other if it was clear that they shared the same _sentiments_.

“Enough,” Jaebum silenced Jackson. “I will bring Jinyoung home and you and Mark will talk over this. I’m going to take my husband home to safety and _then_ I will come back. I’m expecting you to resolve whatever shit you have going on. You’re both made. The famiglia comes before anything else, understood?”

Jackson clenched his jaw and jutted his chin out in defiance while Mark glared silently at his untouched mug of tea on the table.

“Fucking answer me,” Jaebum growled. “Am I understood?”

Both mafiosi grunted a yes and that seemed to be enough of an answer to Jaebum.

The Don then offered a hand to Jinyoung and he noticed that Jaebum’s knuckles were blooded, probably from punching whatever it was that he used to simmer down. Jinyoung made a mental note to apply antiseptic over the torn skin as soon as they return home.

_Home_. Jinyoung could not wait to return back and bury himself under the bed covers. Perhaps with Jaebum lying beside him and reassuring him that everything would be fine. However, he did not put too much hope on that lest it gets shattered. As Jaebum had said, the famiglia always came first.

Jinyoung accepted Jaebum’s offered hand and stood up, drilling the reality in his head: Jaebum was Don. He could not possibly lay with Jinyoung and forget everything that was happening.

Jaebum was Don and the famiglia came first for him; Jinyoung was only second thought.

 

 

“How are you feeling?” Jaebum asked once they were in the confines of Jinyoung’s room.

The whole car ride back home was spent with Jaebum barking orders and making threats through numerous phone calls. He had not spared a single word with Jinyoung, growling and hissing to his device in haste.

And that was alright, Jinyoung had told himself as he gazed outwards the window then. He kind of felt unnerved and anxious about being cooped in a car after what had happened that night but it was unavoidable. He had wanted for Jaebum to offer him some sort of comfort, maybe a reassuring hand or simply thighs pressed close together, but his husband sat a good feet apart from him and was very concentrated in performing his role as Don. But that was okay, Jinyoung repeated the statement to himself throughout the car ride. He had known that Jaebum would always put his mafia first.

However, now that they were finally back to their home, inside Jinyoung’s room – he can pretend that Jaebum cared for him _more_ ; he can pretend that he was Jaebum’s priority.

“To be honest, I’m a little shaken up,” Jinyoung hugged a pillow while he sat long sitting on his bed. “OKay, maybe not a little. I don’t know,” he grasped the soft material of the pillow a bit tighter. “I can still hear the gunshots.”

Jaebum ran a frustrated hand through his hair, messing up his impeccable hairstyle. “I’m so fucking pissed at myself for letting you out. I’m so sorry, tesoro.”

Jinyoung furrowed his brows, “It’s not your fault, Jaebum. No one could have known that would happen. I’m just so relieved that I was with Mark.”

“I was afraid, Jinyoung,” Jaebum placed a gentle hand on Jinyoung’s cheek, caressing it smoothly. “I was so fucking scared.”

Jinyoung’s pulse quickened. That was the closest to a confession Jaebum made aside from that one time he said _I like you more than you think I do._ He leaned into the touch, relishing in the fact that Jaebum had gotten frightened of the possibility of him dying.

“I was scared too. So much,” he breathed. “I really thought I was going to die, Jaebum. I thought that was it.”

“It seems like nothing goes right when you leave this house without me, tesoro. Maybe I should just lock you up,” Jaebum hummed and scooted closer to Jinyoung so that their faces were only inches apart. “How does that sound to you? Would you take it negatively if I locked you in this room?”

Jinyoung shuddered as Jaebum whispered the question to him. His husband sounded light but his eyes were telling a different story. Jaebum’s dark orbs appeared to be serious in imprisoning him. “Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t do that to me,” he countered. The thought of being held captive was not attractive but Jinyoung could not deny the stirring in his stomach. “What about the library? Would you prevent me from going there as well? And the music room too?”

Jaebum smoothed his thumb over Jinyoung’s cheekbone, “Okay, so not in this room. But you won’t protest if I do lock you in this house?”

“You can’t be serious about this,” Jinyoung gave a soft chuckle, his own hand going over Jaebum’s own that was caressing his cheek. “Besides, you won’t have to. I’m pretty sure I won’t leave this house anytime soon. I was really scared, Jaebum.” Jinyoung winced at his sentence. The memory was unwelcome but it seemed like he had just repeated his words from before when he was almost taken advantage of.

Jaebum leaned closer, closing the gap between their lips and kissed Jinyoung tenderly. It was so soft, so benevolent that it was almost painful.

Jaebum sighed at his mouth, “I’m so fucking sorry, tesoro.”

Jaebum’s hand never left his cheek, thumb continuing to rub small circles over. This was the sweetest kiss they shared and Jinyoung bit back the tears that had threatened to spill from his eyes.

Jaebum, ever so gently, deepened the kiss, urging Jinyoung to open his mouth with so much carefulness. He slotted his mouth over Jinyoung’s and kissed him breathless. Their lips moved in sync; their heart beats in sync.

The kiss was gentle, languid; Jaebum was not hurrying it and keeping it genuine, as if promising Jinyoung safety.

And Jinyoung did – he felt safe in his husband’s arms.

Jaebum pulled back after what felt like an eternity and said with regret, “I have to get back to Jackson’s.”

_Ah, there it goes_ , Jinyoung’s brain supplied. The illusion of him being Jaebum’s priority shattered. The famiglia really was more important.

Jaebum must have sensed Jinyoung’s disappointment for he dipped down and pecked Jinyoung’s lips once more. “I’m putting this whole house on lockdown. You might not like being imprisoned but I want you safe, especially since I’ll be out. There’s already around a hundred men manning the entire estate’s perimeter and there’s more patrolling beyond. Don’t worry,” Jaebum pecked him once more, “I’m going to make whoever is behind this pay, tesoro. I want retribution.”

Jinyoung gulped. He would never get used to Jaebum’s Don persona. The darkness surrounding his husband whenever he was in his mafia leader mode was sinister.

 

 

__________

 

 

Jaebum thought the night could not be worse. But he was wrong, so very wrong.

“What the fuck did you say?” He slammed his hand on Jackson’s dining table.

“I said, there’s a ninety percent chance that Bang’s the one behind this,” Mark replied calmly. It seemed that the time Jaebum had given him and Jackson did wonders. The two seemed to have resolved their argument completely.

“What does he want now?” Jaebum exclaimed. “Who the fuck does he think he is?”

“To bring you down and stake claim to your territory,” Seongwoo simply stated.

Jaebum had called his father the instant he left Jinyoung in their house. He needed advise and there was no better man to ask than his own father. The previous Don.

“He’s been dying to do it for years, son. I guess now he found it to be the right time.”

“Bastard!” Jaebum gritted his teeth. “I will make him pay for this.” He then directed his gaze at their consigliere, “Why did you even invite Jinyoung out?”

“Hey, hey, there’s no need to _blame_ Mark. He almost died as well,” Jackson immediately said in Mark’s defense.

“It’s okay, Jackson,” Mark assured. “I asked him things about Jintae. I wondered if he knew something about his plans but he didn’t.” Then as if remembering something, he added, “Did you know that he’s been calling Jinyoung all this time? That’s why Jinyoung turned his phone off?”

Jaebum cursed under his breath. That was something he was unaware of and it made his blood boil more. At the fact that Jintae continued to pester Jinyoung and at Jinyoung for keeping it a secret. _Goddammit._

“Seems like he hasn’t told you,” Mark shrugged. “This whole thing makes me more suspicious about him, Jaebum.”

Mark had a point. Jaebum was not one to make rash decisions despite his awful temper. He knew how to calculate things and when to strike. Jintae could just be pissed at Jaebum for turning all of his favours down but the timing was very odd. And if Jaebum was anything aside from his anger issues, it was his never ending skepticism towards everything.

“What do you want us to do, brother?” Jackson asked. “We can’t let this slide like we did before when Jinyoung was attacked. This is clearly something else.”

“Of course, I won’t let this pass,” he scoffed. “They downright tried to kill my husband and Mark. I _can’t_ let this pass.”

Jaebum racked his brain for the right measure to take. They were not going to just sit down and accept what had happened lightly. They were insulted and Jaebum took offences negatively.

“They started it,” Jaebum muttered. “Send my greetings to Yongguk. I want blood on his streets tomorrow.”

“Are you sure about this, son?” Seongwoo raised a brow at him. He did not look disapproving but there was wariness etched around his eyes. “There’s no turning back from this.”

Jaebum steeled himself, “As I said, they started it.”

 

 

“Twenty of our men died last night,” Jackson delivered the news to him.

He was having breakfast with Jinyoung and he could see the way his husband tensed and stopped eating, eyes wide and disbelieving as he looked from Jackson to him.

“And their count?” Jaebum replied as he stuffed an egg into his mouth.

Jackson smirked evilly and Jaebum let out an exhale he did not know he was holding. “Thirty footmen and three capos.”

Jaebum whistled. _Three capos, huh_. He was certain Yongguk was pissed about that. “It’s good enough, I guess.”

“That’s beyond good, Jaebum, and you know it,” Jackson grinned and gestured for one of the servants to set him breakfast.

Jaebum could not help the smirk forming in his _own_ face; it really was good.

“What now, though? What do we do next?” Jackson followed through.

Jaebum hummed, “He’s sure to retaliate. He’s probably shitting himself in anger right now so prepare for the worst. Keep pushing in on Eumseong-gun until there’s nothing left of them there. Keep a strong line in Anseong and don’t let them get through.”

“Sounds good to me. I’ve always wanted to strengthen our Chinese friendship and we can do that through Taizhou,” Jackson remarked. “This is nice. Very nice.”

Jaebum felt Jinyoung take a sharp intake of breath and he guessed that the conversation was not something his husband appreciated. “Jinyoung, you can excuse yourself, okay?”

Jinyoung gave him a firm shake of the head, however. “I will stay. I want to know.”

Jaebum felt something warm stir in his chest at Jinyoung’s reply. His husband seemed to always surprise him. “If that’s what you like then.”

“But Jaebum,” Jackson continued, “The police will have a field day with this. Lots of civilians involved? Heck, they’d for sure hound us like fucking dogs.”

“I’ll handle them, Jackson. There’s no way the police is going to stop me from handing Yongguk a piece of my mind,” Jaebum took a sip of his coffee. “Let the police fuck themselves over this. They won’t get anything.”

Silence befell them as Jackson started digging in his own plate. It never failed to amuse Jaebum how his brother had never changed from when they were young. Jackson had always been his source of strength at times that he felt insecure of himself. It might not be obvious to outsiders but Jackson’s loud personality kept him motivated at most times. That and his need to protect him. Jaebum would die first before he let anyone touch a hair on Jackson – and now, the pressure had become greater.

He peered at Jinyoung who was chewing his food with too much force. Now, he had Jinyoung to protect too.

 

 

Jackson followed him in his office and Jaebum knew his brother had something worrying him. Jaebum did not like that; he had promised himself to be someone Jackson could always rely on. “What’s wrong, brother?” He asked.

Jackson sighed, “I’m really worried about Mark. I know he’s just as much of a made man as we are and that no one comes before the famiglia but, Jaebum-” Jackson threw his head back in mild frustration, “Don’t involve him so much, okay?”

Jaebum drummed his fingers on the surface of his desk. Dealing with personal matters was always hard – harder for him since he was the leader. Always putting the famiglia first had never been this much of a task. Jaebum cursed Yongguk for the nth time.

“You know Mark is a dear friend to me. I wouldn’t risk him that easily,” he said. “Plus, he’s our consigliere. We can’t afford to lose our brain. Not now, not ever.”

Jackson seemed to be satisfied with his answer. “I know you wouldn’t. But you know how Mark is, how he thinks he should follow you to death just because you’re the leader.”

Jaebum knew that very well. Mark’s history was really dark and he could not blame Jackson for worrying over the man. He could not blame Mark as well, though – it was not Mark’s fault he turned out to be who he was today. Their consigliere was a victim of the very society they all live in and the wounds that was inflicted on him had never fully healed.

Jaebum was aware that that was the reason why Jackson and Mark’s relationship was so complicated. Mark was still bearing scars that bleed easily and Jackson was someone who could not stop picking on the other’s scabs.

“Jackson, the famiglia might be important but you’re my family. I hope you know that,” Jaebum said to his brother. “If it goes down to it, I’d choose family over the mafia. I’d choose you, Jackson.”

 

 

___________

 

 

Jinyoung knew things were getting messier. Jaebum would be out for the whole day, sometimes for _days_ , only to come back home tired or angry or frustrated. Most of the times it was all those.

Jinyoung could feel it in the air. There was more blood, more deaths. And along with those, he felt more and more useless as well. He had been locked at home while Jaebum probably risked his life out. He wanted to help but he did not know how and he just knew that Jaebum would flip if he so much as suggested that.

Jinyoung turned his phone on, thinking that he would be able to be of some use if he figure out who was calling him. The talk he had with Mark made him think that it was his father behind the anonymous calls but there was something in his gut that told him it was not that simple. He needed to find out. Surely, the caller must be someone important, he guessed.

However, now that he had picked the calls up, the person on the other line seemed to start playing games with him. He would only be met by silence if not random and weird radio frequency whenever he answered the phone. Jinyoung was pretty sure that the caller was having fun with tormenting him psychologically.

Almost every hour, his phone would ring and he would answer it in the hopes that the caller would speak up only to be received by sheer silence or static. It was driving Jinyoung mad. But he clung to it, praying that his patience would bear fruits. Besides, there was really nothing else he could do to offer Jaebum help.

He was turning into a damsel and he did not like it.

“I wish you would let me help you,” he said to his husband who had returned home after three whole days of being out. And the fact that Jaebum did not give him any calls made his stomach churn in worry at every minute.

“It’s dangerous,” Jaebum huffed. “And no offence but what would you be able to do? It’s famiglia business, tesoro.”

Jinyoung pouted at Jaebum’s answer. “I feel useless.”

Jaebum ruffled his head and chuckled, “You are but you’re also cute so I don’t really have a problem with it. It’s nice to go home to a husband, you know?”

“Yeah, that’s _when_ you manage to go home,” Jinyoung countered. He did not want to sound like a petulant child but without Jaebum, there was no one to keep him company. Youngjae and everyone else were busy with the bloodshed going on. And the constant anxiety over Jaebum’s safety made Jinyoung miss him more than he liked to admit.

“What’s this? You miss me that much, tesoro?” Jaebum said and paused before taking hold of Jinyoung’s wrist. He tugged Jinyoung along with him towards the direction of his room.

“Jaebum,” Jinyoung protested, “What are you doing?”

“You’re so sly. So fucking sly, Jinyoung,” Jaebum said. “I couldn’t take it anymore, you being all adorable.”

Jinyoung flushed crimson. That was not what he was trying to do at all. “What in the world are you saying?”

“I’m going to address this issue of you missing me and wanting to help.” Jaebum pushed open the door to the master bedroom and placed Jinyoung in the middle of the bed. “Now, we fuck.”

Jinyoung’s arms automatically went across his chest to protect and cover himself. “Jaebum!”

“No need to shout, we haven’t begun yet.” Jaebum chucked his coat off and he started unbuttoning his shirt.

“Oh my God, you’re serious?” Jinyoung exclaimed, “We can’t have sex with all of this shit going down!”

“And why is that? Whether we fuck or not, this shit will still be going down,” Jaebum said as he shrugged off his shirt, “I’d rather have you while at it.”

Jinyoung, despite being acquainted with his husband’s logic, was still surprised. Trust his husband to find sex as a solution to the problem. It was not that he did not want to – Jinyoung had been thinking about Jaebum’s body for him to deny what he feels. It was just that he reckoned it was _wrong_ to do so when everything was in chaos. Clearly, his husband thought otherwise.

When Jaebum had removed his clothes entirely – Jinyoung still forgot to breathe at the sight of a naked Jaebum – he noticed a thick wrap of gauze encircling his husband’s arm.

Jinyoung frowned, “Did you get injured?”

“Ah this?” Jaebum shrugged, “Just a bullet again. It was yesterday.”

Jinyoung scowled at Jaebum’s nonchalance. His husband never seemed to understand how deadly bullets were. “And you didn’t bother to tell me?”

Jaebum walked closer to Jinyoung and prowled towards him on the bed. “I had Mark clean and bandage it. It’s not a big deal.”

Jinyoung let his shirt be removed while he continued to nag, “Why do you always act like getting shot is normal? It’s not, Jaebum.”

“It’s alright now, tesoro,” Jaebum grinned at him, “It won’t affect my performance in bed, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Jinyoung groaned, “I hate you so much, I hope you know that.”

“Don’t worry, I know,” Jaebum said with a voice so low, Jinyoung got chills running down his spine. But there was a tinge of something else as well, a hint of an emotion Jinyoung could not place his finger on.

Before he could overthink it, however, Jaebum had dived in for a kiss. And oh God, did Jinyoung miss him.

The touch of Jaebum’s lips on his own after days without contact and even more days with just nods and morning greetings – Jinyoung felt starved. He did not know it was remotely possible to miss a person as much as he missed Jaebum. He had never thought that he would feel such strong emotions.

Jinyoung eagerly opened his mouth and brought his arms around his husband’s neck, tugging Jaebum closer.

“Woah, there,” Jaebum chuckled. “You really missed me that much, huh?”

“Shut up,” Jinyoung muttered before pulling Jaebum down again.

Jinyoung had completely lain down with Jaebum above him, arms caging his head and bodies flushed against each other. It was almost hilarious that his husband was fully undressed while he still had some clothes on. And when Jaebum grinded down on him, Jinyoung felt suffocated.

“Jaebum,” he whispered, “Let’s get my clothes off. It’s weird that you’re the only one naked.”

Jaebum pulled back and sat on his heels, admiring Jinyoung who was raking eyes all over his form. “Yeah, it’s unfair that you get to ogle my body while I can’t.”

“Shut up,” Jinyoung sputtered, ears going red from being caught. “It’s hard _not_ to stare. You’re naked, for goodness’ sake.”

He sat up and started unbuttoning his own pants while Jaebum just stared at him, seemingly focused. Jinyoung felt embarrassed by the way his husband was blatantly eye fucking him but the shyness was soon overpowered with desire. Months ago, he would have clocked his head for even having thoughts like that towards his husband. Now, he could not wait for Jaebum to put marks all over him.

When Jinyoung finally removed his pants and underwear, he was about to lie down again when Jaebum interrupted him. “Do you want to try something new?”

Jinyoung frowned. _New? What something new?_ They had proper sex once and now his husband was suggesting they do something new? Was Jaebum that easily bored?

“Can you please stop overthinking for once?” Jaebum clicked his tongue. “I know that face. You’re conjuring up negative thoughts about me and about sex.”

“Can you really blame me?” Jinyoung huffed. “We’ve only done it once and now you sound like you’re bored of it already.”

Jinyoung pursed his mouth and stopped the growing urge to grab a pillow as cover. He hated feeling inadequate – as his whole life, he was forced to think that he was. And his husband was only making the reminder louder in his head.

“Goddammit, Jinyoung,” Jaebum scowled. “You’re so difficult, you know that?” He let out a ragged exhale, “I’m not bored, tesoro. I’d gladly fuck you like before but I’m trying to make sex good for you. I’m trying to teach you variety.”

Jinyoung turned his head to the side, mortified at how he had acted. If only he had clamped his mouth shut, they could have been kissing again. But if there was anything he had learned from his husband, it was honesty. So he said, “I’m sorry.”

He heard Jaebum sigh and a hand reached for his own, “Don’t be sorry. I understand, you have your reasons.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes and smiled – Jaebum really did make him feel safe.

“But back to the topic at hand, do you want to try something new?”

Okay, perhaps Jaebum’s sense of comfort can only go so far before he was consumed by lust again. Jinyoung rolled his eyes. The budding soft mood was instantly flushed away.

“Like what?”

“Like you riding me and doing all the work,” Jaebum smirked. “Honestly, I’m kind of tired and you did say you want to help me, right? So ease the stress off me and ride my cock.”

“You know I didn’t mean helping like that,” Jinyoung pushed Jaebum lightly so that his husband would get off him. “Why is your head always in the gutter?”

Jaebum laughed, a genuine boom of his voice that sent warmth in Jinyoung’s chest – warmth that was different from the one pooling in his abdomen. “Just say yes, tesoro. I bet you’d like it.”

It did spark Jinyoung’s interest. Doing everything on his own, fucking himself on Jaebum’s dick – it was very lewd and scandalous but also exciting.

“How do I even do that?”

Jaebum moved his way towards the upper end of the bed and made himself comfortable with pillows piled and propped under his head so that he could watch Jinyoung. He laid there with so much ease and Jinyoung thought it was ridiculous that even stark naked and on lying on his back, Jaebum still looked dominating.

“I want you to start preparing yourself, tesoro,” Jaebum grinned evilly.

Jinyoung gasped, hoping to all the gods that his husband did not mean what Jinyoung’s mind registered. “Excuse me?”

The grin his husband wore stretched wider and Jinyoung’s stomach plummeted. “You heard me. Prepare yourself. Use your fingers. Stretch yourself while I watch, _tesoro_.”

“Jesus,” Jinyoung whispered breathily. Nothing had happened yet but Jaebum’s words coupled with his dark gaze on him – Jinyoung was feeling woozy.

“Go on, just think of how I did it before. Kneel on all fours, back facing me. I want to see how you do it.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes and took a slow, measured inhale. He steeled himself; he reminded himself that the whole premise was hot and sexy even if Jaebum was displaying such severe perverseness. But when he opened his eyes, the look Jaebum gave him almost made him want to cover himself up and run away from the room. His husband looked expectant. Very expectant.

Jaebum was looking at Jinyoung like one would look at a stripper or when one was watching porn. Jinyoung felt objectified.

But he was surprised that aside from the utter embarrassment of being ogled with so much intensity, the usual feeling of contempt and loathing that accompanied the objectification – there was none. Jinyoung could not find it in him; there was no resentment, there was no abhorrence.

So Jinyoung did what Jaebum had told him to do. He turned his body away from Jaebum and went on all fours, exposing his backside to the other. He fought against chickening away; he reminded himself that this was Jaebum, his husband. He was safe with him.

“Good boy,” Jaebum complimented him and Jinyoung was relieved that his face was hidden. He would not know how to take it if Jaebum learned that he liked being complimented.

Jinyoung reached backwards, hands resting on his ass. _This is it,_ Jinyoung resolved himself. He was going to do it.

But before he could inch a finger closer to his rim, Jaebum interjected, “Lick your fingers first, tesoro. Make them wet before you slide them in or else it would hurt. Or maybe you want that. It’s up to you.”

Jinyoung winced at the correction but as weird as it may be, he knew that Jaebum was only looking out for him. So he retracted his hand and put the index finger in his mouth, coating it graciously with saliva.

“Three fingers, tesoro.”

Jaebum commanded and even if Jinyoung could not see his husband’s face, he still felt obliged to do what he was told.

Once his digits were thoroughly slick, he reached backwards again and this time, directly putting a finger on his rim. He shivered at the touch; his finger cold and wet against his entrance. He stalled for a brief second, thinking of what he should do next, before throwing all caution to the wind. He mused that there was no going back anyway, not with his hole exposed and directed at Jaebum’s face.

So Jinyoung inserted a finger slowly, mouth forming an _o_ at the sensation of being stuffed. He pushed in his finger until it was knuckle deep and drew it back only to plunge it again.

Jaebum seemed to shut up and only occasional sharp intakes of breath were what Jinyoung could hear.

Feeling accustomed to one finger, Jinyoung decided it was time to add another. He gradually inserted another digit and the stretch made him hiss. He willed himself to relax and reminded himself that he was putting on a show for Jaebum.

His head hit the mattress, the one arm propping him up finally giving out on his weight. But that did not derail him as he continued to stretch himself, making a scissoring motion like how he remembered Jaebum did.

When he was satisfied with how loose he became, he experimentally curled a finger – wondering if he could reach and hit that specific place that sent him shuddering. And when he did, he was not able to hold back a moan as he whimpered and shivered under his own fingers.

“Stop.” Jaebum’s voice came in loud and clear. “You will pleasure yourself with my dick and not with your fingers. If you’re done preparing, come over here and start fucking yourself.”

Jinyoung whipped his face back, fixing a scowl at his husband. “ _Oh my god_ , why can’t you stop being so crude?”

Jaebum shrugged but then reached out a hand to Jinyoung, “I know you like it, tesoro. Just come here so we could start blowing each other’s minds out.”

Jinyoung shook his head in exasperation. There was truth in what Jaebum had said; he did find Jaebum’s domineering personality attractive but sometimes, it just went overboard. Sometimes, Jinyoung wanted to tell Jaebum to handle him with care. But it always, always ended up with Jaebum being gentler and more caring in reality – a stark contrast to his harsher words.

It was confusing and most of the time made Jinyoung want to sock Jaebum in the face.

“I seriously hate you. You’re such a jerk,” Jinyoung barked.

Despite of it all, he did accept Jaebum’s outstretched hand and climbed over his husband, straddling him over his hips. “You’re so irritating.”

Jaebum only threw his head backwards in a laugh before rolling on a condom and slicking himself up with generous amounts of lube.

Jaebum’s hands found their place on Jinyoung’s hips and Jinyoung, he leaned forward and placed his own hands right over his husband’s chest – giving his weight for support and leverage.

Then slowly, with Jaebum’s guidance at his hips, he sunk down on Jaebum’s hard length.

Jinyoung regretted preparing himself. He should not have agreed to doing it alone. Jaebum’s cock felt bigger than the last time and Jinyoung realised that he should have asked for help in stretching.

He hissed and winced and his nails dug at Jaebum’s bare chest from the sting. “ _Fuck_.”

“Relax, Jinyoung,” Jaebum’s voice broke through his rising panic. “Relax and take in deep breaths. Lower yourself down slowly.”

Jinyoung tried to calm himself as he slowly eased Jaebum’s dick inside him. When he had finally managed to put the entire penis in and was sitting on Jaebum’s pelvis with all of his weight – that was when he was racked with a whole other kind of sensation.

With their position, Jaebum’s cock was deep – so goddamned _deep_ – inside him.

He could feel Jaebum penetrating him to his core. _Oh God_ , he felt so full.

“Jaebum,” he gasped.

“I know. It’s so much deeper, isn’t it?” Jaebum rubbed small circles on his hip using his thumb. “Ready when you are.”

Jinyoung nodded. Jaebum was not rushing him and that was something he really liked about the Don. He could only imagine the restraint Jaebum was putting on himself. His husband had never forced him into anything he was not ready for and Jinyoung thought that that was why he was more open and accepting of trying new things. Reverse psychology, or something.

Jinyoung allowed himself some time to get used to the feeling of being ripped in half and when he was – he started to move.

Jaebum picked up on his movement and the hold on his hips became firmer, harder, almost bruising.

Jinyoung lifted off his weight a little and then sat back down, testing the waters. He repeated the motion again and again until the sting he felt ebbed away and turned into pleasure.

He became bolder and more confident as he raised his hips up only to slamm it back down on Jaebum’s cock, arms straining under his weight.

Jinyoung and Jaebum found rhythm; they established a pace wherein Jaebum bucked his pelvis upward just in time with Jinyoung slamming back down.

Their movements became frantic, jerky, rushed; Jaebum’s grip on Jinyoung’s hips was definitely making marks; Jinyoung’s hand on Jaebum’s chest turned into fists and digging nails on the flesh.

Jinyoung moaned as Jaebum grunted, and in that moment – they were really one. Minds in the same place; bodies connected.

“Oh god, Jaebum,” Jinyoung cried out. “Oh shit.”

“Yeah,” Jaebum exhaled, “Shit.”

They continued with Jinyoung impaling himself on Jaebum’s dick until he felt his release nearing. And he would have been embarrassed for coming once again untouched but his own dick was leaking precum already and was growing painful as the seconds ticked by.

“Aah,” he whimpered, fatigue creeping in and turning his legs into jelly, “I think I’m cumming.”

His words only seemed to drive Jaebum into fucking him harder – the grip on his waist tightening and pulling him back down in a harsher manner to meet Jaebum’s pelvis.

Jinyoung screamed as his legs gave out while Jaebum continued to plunge into him further; his arms being the only support that kept him from falling on top of his husband completely.

He came all over Jaebum’s naked torso just in time as Jaebum did.

Jinyoung slumped and fell on Jaebum, grimacing at the stickiness of his cum in between them. “Ugh, this is so gross. I didn’t mean to cum all over you,” he panted.

“What do you mean? It was hot,” Jaebum chuckled and patted his hair. “Your ability to come untouched turns me the fuck on, tesoro. What a fucking cockslut you are.”

Jinyoung jerked back and gasped, hand automatically slapping Jaebum’s chest. “What the fuck are you saying? God, I hate you!”

Jaebum laughed and flipped their position, pinning Jinyoung under once again. He pulled out and removed the condom, tying it securely before throwing it at the trash with a bad impersonation of a basketball player.

“That’s true, though. As long as it’s only my dick you come off from, I don’t mind,” Jaebum sniggered before reaching to the pack of wet tissues conveniently placed on the bedside table. Jaebum then started wiping off Jinyoung’s cum decorating his torso. “You know, it’s really fucking sexy that you came all over me.”

“Can you please stop speaking?” Jinyoung huffed. He pulled a tissue as well and wiped his own abdomen where cum had managed to stain.

Jaebum grinned so boyishly at him, however, that it made his chest constrict. _Ah, I really like Jaebum._

After their clean up moment, it was late into the night and Jaebum had insisted for Jinyoung to remain in the room. “You can just pretend that it’s daytime. Like one of our shared naps, yeah?”

Jinyoung knew what his husband was about. Jinyoung still had not spent the night in Jaebum’s bed, always opting to sleep in his own room. But now, Jinyoung felt so light and cozy that the whole process of denying himself again was unappealing.

Jinyoung found himself ready.

“I don’t think I’ll have to pretend, Jaebum,” he smiled. “I’ll sleep here with you, if you like.”

The look Jaebum gave him was hilarious. His husband looked equal parts elated and suspicious.

“I mean it,” Jinyoung continued as he lied down beside Jaebum and snuggled into his side. “I’ll stay.”

 

 

Jinyoung had already received a total of four calls since morning but they all ended up like the usual – silence or static until the caller would cut the call off.

Jinyoung had been cooped up in the library since then, redirecting his energy into studying the book Mark recommended to keep his attention off of his phone. But it was fruitless. He was distracted and he just wanted to know who kept calling him and why.

It was starting to get on his nerves and he hoped his patience would not snap before he got something out of it.

He slumped back into the couch, wondering what his husband was up to. _Killing people, most likely,_ his brain supplied. It did not irk Jinyoung as much as it did before. He still did not approve but the memory of the gunshots aimed at him made it hard to be righteous and _not_ want the perpetrators dead. Still, he wished that no civilians would be involved. He knew first hand how horrible these mafia wars can be. He wished there was another way to resolve all of their problems.

Jinyoung stared hard at the ceiling. Was Jaebum at least not trying to get a bullet lodge in him? Jinyoung frowned and cursed under his breath. He did not want Jaebum hurt. The whole famiglia relied on Jaebum and Jinyoung did as well. Security aside, Jinyoung did not think he would be able to take it _if_ Jaebum died. He had fallen so deep already; he was drowning in his feelings for his husband. Jinyoung was totally out of his depth.

He was jolted from his thoughts by his phone ringing once again. This time, he glared at the device – not wanting to answer it anymore. He was having a moment with himself, exploring how he really felt for Jaebum. And the damned caller chose to interrupt him? Jinyoung was annoyed.

Nevertheless, he answered and as usual, it was some odd radio frequency that greeted him. He waited for about two minutes before deciding to just end the call – but before he could, something unexpected happened. Jinyoung heard a voice.

It was faint, very soft and indistinct; almost imperceptible and Jinyoung almost brushed it as a figment of his imagination. But then he heard it again and this time, he could vaguely make out a conversation.

Yes, he was most certainly not making it up.

Jinyoung sat upright and tried to focus all of his senses towards the voice behind the static. Whoever was calling him must be confident that they slipped up. This was the chance Jinyoung was waiting for and he would be damned if he let it disappear through his fingers.

The phone call eventually came to an end as the mysterious caller disconnected the line but Jinyoung learned of two things. First, the voice in the background belonged to a female. Second, Jinyoung had heard it before.

Gooseflesh erupted on Jinyoung’s skin as he came to the conclusion – he was positive that that was Jihyun.

_Oh God._ Jihyun was involved. She was with the anonymous caller that had been bugging him since. Jinyoung’s blood ran cold at the possibility that it was Jihyun who placed a hit on his head.

Just as he was in the middle of a breakdown, a servant knocked in and informed him that his father was waiting at the gates. Jinyoung was having enough anxiety as it was without Jintae adding to the mix. What could his father possibly want this time? The man should know better than to go up to him in a time of uproar and chaos.

Jinyoung’s head started throbbing and he wanted Jaebum to give him reassurance that everything would be better. Alas, he was getting his hopes high up again. He could not wait to share his newfound information with Jaebum. Surely, it would help a lot in their ongoing war with the Bangs.

But first, he needed to address his father. Perhaps tell him to fuck off and never show his face again.

“Let him in but to the foyer only,” Jinyoung said to the servant.

The servant hesitated but replied, “Are you sure? Master Jaebum had the house on lockdown and gave specific orders to keep everyone out. We just had to tell you since he is your father and, well, he wouldn’t leave. He’s been there since this morning.”

Jinyoung frowned at that. His father must have something important to tell him if he had waited that long because Jintae never waited. Not for his son and certainly not for anyone.

“It’ll be quick and besides, we have a lot of bodyguards around,” Jinyoung smiled at the servant to which the girl bowed and made her way out of the library.

Jinyoung stood up and plugged the phone Jaebum lent him into the socket. He was thankful that it had not ran out of battery during the phone call or else he would not have learned that it was Jihyun behind this mess. He took one last glance at it to check if it was really charging before heading out of the room himself – ready to give Jintae a piece of his mind.

 

 

“Jinyoung, my son!” Jintae greeted loudly and Jinyoung could not help the disdain he felt for the man. He was acting but for what, Jinyoung did not know. And he did not care as well.

“What do you want?” he hissed. “Make it quick. Nobody wants you here.”

Jintae faltered in his steps, probably not expecting Jinyoung to bite, but he regained his composure quickly and continued his stride, “You don’t mean that. Come on, give your dear father a hug.”

Jinyoung should have suspected his father. Jintae was not one for theatrics and his little act was disgusting. But that should have sent warning signs in Jinyoung’s brain – he should not have allowed Jintae in.

As soon as his father made the big gesture of hugging him, Jinyoung felt something sharp and cold digging to his side. His eyes widened at the familiar feeling. It was a barrel of a gun. And sure enough, when he glanced down, there was a small handgun pressed at his side.

Cold sweat started forming at Jinyoung’s forehead and his hands went clammy. He knew his father hated him and had threatened his life countless of times before. But this – this was serious and Jinyoung could only pray that Jintae’s finger would not slip on the trigger and end his life. For good.

“Now, you’re quiet, huh?” Jintae whispered into his ear. “Scared because your dear husband isn’t around to save your sorry ass? You’ve always been a burden to everyone around you, son.”

Jinyoung forced the lump in his throat back down to his stomach. He could not allow Jintae to see him scared. He would not allow it. He hissed, “What do you want? Why are you doing this?”

“I think you know why. You’re smart so use that brain and save me the energy of explaining everything to you.” Jintae looked around and shouted, “None of you move! I will pull the trigger if you do. I’m not kidding.”

Jinyoung saw the bodyguards that were usually hidden out in the open. It was clear that they were contemplating on what to do; it seemed that they understood that Jintae was serious. And good for them, Jinyoung briefly thought. He knew it himself that Jintae was every bit sincere in his promise of killing him.

_What a fucking father._

A made man shuffled slightly to the side, probably disbelieving Jintae’s claim, which prompted Jintae to shrug and say, “I told you I wasn’t kidding,” before aiming at Jinyoung’s foot and pulling the trigger.

Jinyoung screamed as intense, sharp pain broke through him. He almost fell to the ground if not for Jintae’s firm arm around him. Blood oozed from where the bullet had torn skin and Jinyoung fought against fainting from the pain. _Dear God_.

“None of you fucking move or else I’m going to shoot him again,” Jintae roared. “You don’t want your Don’s husband to die, do you?”

That was the last thing Jinyoung heard before Jintae clocked him in the nape and he fell into darkness.

Jinyoung’s last thought, however, was of Jaebum waiting for him there.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm a little bit late for the weekend lmao but what's important is that I've updated! *pats myself in the back*  
> There's so much going on in this chapter. trust me - I KNOW. but it has to be done!  
> Although technically speaking, half of this was probably just sex AHAHAHA I got carried away AGAIN.  
> But I hope you like this update. I'm really trying hard here~  
> Thank you so much for reading! Drop in the comments your reactions, okay? I love talking to you people!


	18. Chapter 18

XVIII

 

Amare et sapere vix deo conceditur

(To love and to be wise is rarely granted even to a god)

\- Sententia 22, Publilius Syrus

  


Jackson had seen his brother mad a lot of times. Ever since he got adopted into the Im family, he had witnessed several people get sent to the hospital for broken bones and crushed skulls after Jaebum did a number to them. When he and his brother got accepted into the famiglia, the damage Jaebum did got worse. Even more people got injured; some had actually died. Jaebum was greatly skilled with his fist, even more so with a gun. His brother fought almost like an animal, with raw savagery and bloodlust.

It scared Jackson in the beginning when all of Jaebum’s anger tantrums come unbidden. His brother was very mercurial, volatile, unpredictable – he could smile one second and then swing the very next. Even when they were still at school, Jaebum did not let anyone get away unscathed. His brother had been an angry, angry kid. But he had gotten used to it; had learned how to maneuver around a fuming Jaebum. He even picked up some tricks to diffuse his brother’s violent outbursts.

However, this was the first time he had seen Jaebum with such raging intensity of fury.

Jaebum appeared almost frantic, so goddamned livid, at the brink of insanity.

Usually, Jaebum rampaged with cold professionalism. No matter how brutal his brother got, it would always be as if he was doing it because it needed to be done. But the way Jaebum was acting right now – Jackson did not think his brother even knew what he was thrashing the mansion for.

“Jaebum,” he said, pain lacing his voice. He loved Jaebum fiercely and seeing him lose control, with the illusion of not being able to go back to the realm of sanity – well, he cannot allow that. “Jaebum, please, calm down.”

Jaebum threw a vase to the far wall to which Jackson winced; it had been a present from Hyejin. “What do you mean calm down? How can I calm down, Jackson? Fucking how!” Jaebum growled and punched one of the hanging portraits in the room; another gift from Hyejin.

Jackson made a mental note to keep their mother from visiting Jaebum’s house any time soon. She would definitely chop their heads off if she so much as glimpse at the wreckage or absence of her gifts. Never mind that it was Jaebum who had caused it; Jackson would be guilty as well since he had not stopped his brother.

In Jackson’s defense, he was trying. Jaebum was just, well, Jaebum. Jackson had never been good at dealing with his brother’s temper.

“I know you’re fucking angry right now but we won’t be able to save Jinyoung if you keep on acting like a fucking mad man,” he said.

Jaebum whipped his head at him and scowled, “We shouldn’t be saving him in the first place! There shouldn’t even be a saving, Jackson.” Jaebum kicked a potted plant towards him, “This shouldn’t have happened in the first place! Goddammit!”

Jackson was not prepared to be targeted and the pot hit his leg and broke, soil and mud making a mess of his pants. “Fucking hell! Don’t direct your anger at me!” He clutched at his leg and limped to the nearest couch, hissing at the pain. Jaebum was starting to get to his nerves. “I’m trying to help you, fucker! How about you bash your head on the wall and knock yourself out, huh? You’d be more help unconscious than throwing a fucking tantrum like a five-year-old.”

“What did you say?” Jaebum started to yell, “What did you fucking say to me?”

Jackson crossed his arms across his chest. He needed to be the mature one; Jaebum was clearly not in the right mind and Jackson owed him to be the mature one this time. It had always been Jaebum who took care of him; now, it was his turn to take care of his brother. “I’m trying to help you. Screaming and thrashing your house will not help Jinyoung’s case. We need to think this through, Jaebum.”

“You don’t fucking understand!” Jaebum squinted his eyes and pointed at Jackson with a harsh finger.

“Actually, I do. Just imagining Jinyoung was Mark,” Jackson exhaled raggedly and shook his head, “You must be so _scared_ , Jaebum.”

“No, you fucking don’t. Jinyoung isn’t Mark and I am not you,” Jaebum hissed. “I love him, don’t you understand?”

This time, it was Jackson who scowled, “What are you trying to say?”

Jaebum chuckled mockingly and raised an evil brow. “I love Jinyoung. You can’t understand that because what I feel for him is more than the fucking lust you feel for Mark.” He scoffed, “So don’t you dare say you understand me because you fucking don’t. Jinyoung is not my plaything, brother.”

In a flash, Jackson was out of the couch; in a flash, Jackson’s fist slammed against Jaebum’s jaw.

Jackson loved his brother but even that cannot excuse Jaebum’s words. His brother had crossed the line and Jackson hoped – _God he hoped_ – that Jaebum only said it because he was damned lost in his head with anger, and not because he had meant it. Because if his brother meant it, Jackson would not be able to forgive him.

Jaebum stumbled and actually fell on the ground, probably not expecting Jackson to punch him in the face. He clutched as his jaw, resetting it and feeling for any sign of dislocation. “What the fuck-“

“Shut up!” Jackson yelled. “Don’t you say a fucking word or else I’m going to hit you again.” He threatened and made sure that Jaebum understood that he was serious.

His brother did not have the right to call him out like that. Hell, what Jaebum said was not even anywhere near the truth of how he felt for Mark. It hurt Jackson; it pained him to know that that was how Jaebum saw things. That he was just using Mark – he thought Jaebum understood. Jaebum’s words hurt as if a bullet had pierced through his heart. It felt like a betrayal.

If Jaebum did not believe him, then who else would?

“Jackson, I-“ Jaebum started to speak, getting himself off the floor, but Jackson held out a hand and stopped him.

“That hurt,” Jackson said. “You fucking know how I feel for Mark. Why would you say that?”

Jackson felt wetness gathering in his eyes but he refused to cry. He already sounded pathetic – there was no need to add more to his begging.

“Jackson, I’m sorry,” Jaebum said, sobering from the punch but more from Jackson’s dejected look. “God, I’m such a fucking asshole. I didn’t mean what I said, Jacks. I know you love Mark, maybe even _more_ than how I feel for Jinyoung.”

“Then why would you say that?” Jackson fell on the couch again, “You fucking know that that would hurt me. I swear to God, Jaebum. You should do something with that attitude of yours. If we weren’t in a tight situation right now, I would have done something worse than just a punch.”

“I deserve it, brother.” Jaebum sighed and slumped, “I’m just so fucking mad!” He clenched his fists and held them tightly at his sides. “I’m so fucking mad at myself for letting all of this happen.”

Jackson could see how his brother was beating himself up with Jinyoung’s abduction. There was so much pent up tension inside Jaebum and it would not take much to make him snap again. But before someone else from _their_ famiglia can become the unfortunate recipient of Jaebum’s wrath, Jackson needed to be the sense of reason. He needed to bring back reason to their Don.

“There’s no use to blaming yourself over this. No one could have known that Jintae is this much of a motherfucker. Who could do that to their son?” Jackson spat.

He vowed before that if Jinyoung hurt Jaebum, he would not forgive him. But now, he could not even hate Jinyoung for ending up in the situation he was in. Jackson could still not believe that Jintae had done something atrocious to his own flesh and blood. The man was the world’s biggest garbage.

But looking at his brother at the verge of breaking down – the same brother who had protected him throughout the years, the same brother who had risked his life for him countless of times, the same brother who was his rock and whom he had depended on – Jackson felt scared. He could not shake off the negative feeling creeping up from inside him. This whole mess – it made him feel like how he did years ago when he was still a young boy in Hong Kong. The memory of his _father’s_ lifeless eyes staring at him, the sound of wails and screams, the scent of blood everywhere.

Jackson prayed to God that this would not end like the tragedy before. He could not afford to lose another family.

“Jaebum,” Jackson whispered, demeanor doing a complete one eighty.

His brother must have picked up his change of mood because the stare he was giving made Jackson feel exposed. “What is it, brother?”

And that was _okay_ – feeling bare and naked. Jackson never had to lie to Jaebum; his brother was someone who can see right through him, and that was okay.

“Promise me. No matter what happens from now on, no matter how much the situation might call for it, promise me, Jaebum.” Jackson pleaded, “Promise me you won’t die.”

Jaebum frowned and tilted his head, “I can’t promise you something I have no control of.”

“No, promise me, brother.” Jackson begged. “Swear it that you won’t throw yourself into something you know you can’t win. Do not make sacrifices. Not for me, not for Mark, and certainly not for Jinyoung. Promise me that.”

Jaebum gulped and that was when Jackson realized that he had been too late. Jaebum already had a plan in mind and was prepared for the extremes of the situation. His brother was smart, Jackson was well aware of that. He was sure that Jaebum had already visualized all the possible outcomes of this war.

“Okay, I promise.”

Jackson closed his eyes to hide the pain behind them. Jaebum had always said that Jackson was a terrible liar since all of his emotions were displayed in his eyes. But Jaebum did not know that Jackson thought of the same towards him.

Jaebum was also a terrible liar.

  


__________

  


Jinyoung woke up to haziness and if he was being honest, he felt loopy as hell. His whole body tingled all over and if that was not freaking him enough, he could feel the surface he was lying on to be stiff and hard, as if it was cardboard, and the atmosphere was damp and cold. He had an idea where he was – the memory of his wretched father shooting his foot was very clear in his hazy head.

And his foot, oh God, Jinyoung knew he should be feeling immense pain but the weird thing was – he could not feel his foot. _What in the world?_

For a brief, panicky second, Jinyoung thought that Jintae had cut it off. He could not feel where immense pain should be and he shot his eyes wide open to assure himself that his body parts were still complete. The sudden movement caused his already muddled head to sway even more and the dim lighting of the room did not help as he stumbled and fell on his side. The impact seemed to jostle his nerves as he felt lighting sharp pricks underneath his skin but there was still no definitive pain. He was getting more and more suspicious but as his eyes caught a glimpse of his foot, he let an exhale of relief. _Oh god, my foot is still there._ It had stopped bleeding but Jinyoung winced at its ugliness. The skin was torn open and had dried folded outwards; the bones were peeking and the flesh was mangled. It looked disgusting and Jinyoung somehow thanked that he was not in the right mind and that he could not actually feel it or else he would have vomited. For sure.

However, now that he was sure his body was intact, it left him with the question regarding his overall tingling feeling and woozy brain. Why was he feeling so out of it?

He looked around and his initial thoughts were proven right – he was in a cell. His father had imprisoned him, literally, in a small quarter behind bars with only a small urinal at the corner. There was not even a panel or something of the sort; it was laid bare, just there out in the open. There was no privacy. Hell, his father did not even had the heart to provide a bed for him. It was really just cardboard.

Jinyoung thought that Jintae really outdid himself. There will be nothing else his father could do that would surpass what he had done already.

He flopped back down and stared at the ceiling. He could not help but wonder how Jintae could do this to him. He knew Jintae was abusive and did not really like him but to go as far as shooting him, taking him hostage and imprisoning him like a pig – can a father do that to his son?

Jinyoung’s mind was plagued with questions. He knew it was not his fault, at all, but there came a small thought that what if Jintae’s behaviour had justifications; what if there was reason enough behind Jintae’s treatment towards him; what if it was him who did something wrong in the first place.

However, no matter how much he tried to think of something, nothing came up as explanation – to why Jintae hated him so much nor to what he did that could spark the said hate. His mind was stuttering; it was flicking on and off. Jinyoung was starting to get really worried.

The door across him opened but Jinyoung’s brain could not be bothered to check on who it might be. He guessed that if it was Jintae, then he had nothing to say. And if it was someone else – well, Jinyoung reckoned that they were working alongside Jintae so he did not have anything to say to them as well.

A deep voice broke through the silence of the room. “Glad to see you alive, Jinyoung-ssi.”

The voice was very deep and familiar. Jinyoung knew he had heard it before but he needed to see the face since his brain was really not cooperating with him.

“I see your father got too excited with the drugs,” the voice said. “How are you feeling, Jinyoung-ssi?”

 _Ah,_ so he had been drugged. That explained the severe lightheadedness he felt, and the constant buzz of electricity travelling up and down his arms, and the complete absence of sensation on his supposedly very painful foot.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, “Did you mean physically or mentally? Because physically, I think I’m okay. A little out of it but okay. Mentally, however, I think I want to kill you all.”

The person burst out laughing and his booming was so loud that Jinyoung groaned. “I’m sorry, you’re just really funny. I think I get why Jaebum is so fond of you.”

Jinyoung frowned at the mention of his husband – he had forgotten that he was married to the cause of all his demise. He briefly wondered how Jaebum took his kidnapping but dismissed the thought instantly. His husband could only be two things after all, Jinyoung’s cloudy brain surmised: either Jaebum did not care or Jaebum cared. Jinyoung was unsure which he wanted more because Jaebum not giving a single thought about the whole situation pained him. On the other hand, Jaebum caring would mean other people were bound to get seriously hurt, if not already.

Jinyoung decided to make the decision later. Maybe after he sleep off the drugs in his system.

“You know why you’re here, don’t you?” The person asked Jinyoung.

“I’m not too sure, actually, and thinking about it makes my head spin.”

Another chuckle came from the man which Jinyoung’s brain finally registered, with the metaphorical light bulb flickering bright in his mind,  to be Yongguk.

“It’s unfortunate that you married Jaebum. If you want, I can remedy that,” Yongguk walked towards Jinyoung, perusing him like some animal in a zoo. “After all this, if you behave, I can take you in.”

Jinyoung knew he should feel disgusted – and deep down he was – but the drugs in his system made it difficult for him to spit and probably give Yongguk the middle finger. All Jinyoung could do was frown deeper and say, “But I like Jaebum. I don’t like you. Where is Jaebum?”

Yongguk sighed and tilted his head, as if finding Jinyoung’s answer disappointing. “Don’t worry, I’m sure he’s on his way.” He turned on his heel and walked away, seemingly done conversing with Jinyoung who was obviously high up in the clouds. But before he completely left the room, he said to Jinyoung, “But if you change your mind after all the drugs in your veins are out, tell me. I would love to _have_ you, Jinyoung-ssi.”

And like that, Yongguk stepped out, leaving Jinyoung in the dank silence of the room once again.

Jinyoung sighed, remaining on his back against the cold concrete floor, and stared at the equally concrete ceiling – the way he did before Yongguk had entered. But unlike minutes ago when his thoughts were plagued with his father, now all thoughts went to Jaebum.

Where was his husband? Did he know where Jinyoung was? Did he even know what happened?

Jinyoung frowned and tried wiggling his toe. He still could not feel it – it still looked ugly. His head spun with all of the questions forming tumultuously – about Jaebum, about Yongguk, about Jintae.

Jinyoung closed his eyes and succumbed to the haze, hoping that when he opens his eyes the next time, his mind would actually be clear.

That and he could feel his foot.

  


Jinyoung woke up with a start when cold water hit his face. He jumped and whimpered instantly when excruciating pain stabbed him in the foot. He fell back to the hard ground and curled in on himself from the soreness that enveloped his body.

 _God, everything hurt_.

“You’re really fucking pathetic, you know?”

Jinyoung’s eyes shot open. He knew that voice. _Fuck_ , he knew it so well that just a few words sent his stomach boiling in deep, hot anger.

Thankful that he could think clearly now, he ignored all of the pain and directed his undivided attention to his garbage of a father.

A hazy vision of his conversation with Yongguk flashed before his eyes and he should have known that his father was working with Jaebum’s biggest rival. He should not have been surprised that Jintae was that much of a snake.

“Now you’re glaring?” Jintae scoffed, “Oh well, that’s the only thing you can do after all. Glare at me all you want, you’re still stuck behind bars.”

Jinyoung clenched his fists and forced himself to sit upright, ignoring the way his body screamed in agony for him to stop. His foot was hurting so much and his awareness of it would have sent him fainting again if not for the sheer loathing he felt for the man in front of him which outweighed any pain. “And who’s fault is that?” He spat. “I’m here because of you!”

“Now, that is no way you speak to your father,” Jintae made a disapproving noise at his throat. “Actually, you seem to have gotten more disrespectful when you married that shit excuse of a Don. One would think he didn’t have any dick, that he’s not man enough to discipline you.”

Jinyoung burned with hatred. If there was a drop of forgiveness he felt before for Jintae – now, there was absolutely none left. “Keep Jaebum away from your filthy mouth,” he hissed.

Jintae paced slowly as if he had all the time in the world, all the while examining his nail. Like the grime he found under them compared to Jinyoung. “You’re really defending him, huh? But what I said must be true. He’s the reason for the Im’s downfall. He’s incapable, an incompetent leader. Seongwoo made the mistake of stepping down.”

“Then why marry me to him? Why trade me in if Jaebum is really that much of a failure?”

“Because I thought I could gain famiglia power through you. But you proved to be useless and your husband was an arrogant piece of shit.” Jintae stopped in front of Jinyoung and smiled. “He’s going down, Jinyoung. The Im’s reign over the underground is finally coming to an end. And so will you if you don’t accept Yongguk’s offer.”

Jinyoung narrowed his eyes even more that it almost made him dizzy. He could hear the echoes of Yongguk’s offer in his ears – but he would not succumb. Growing up, he had dreamt of rebelling against his father; now was the perfect time to do it.

He spat at his father and cheered internally when it landed on Jintae’s leather shoes. “I would rather die.”

Jintae scowled and reached for the bucket of mop water at the corner of the room; he threw the murky water at Jinyoung with enough force that it hurt. “You do that. I’ve never really cared for you, after all. I could care less if you finally died,” he hissed.

Jinyoung shivered, not from the dank water that drenched his whole being but from his father’s words. He was very well aware that Jintae did not give two shits about him; his father had shot him and kidnapped him – but to hear it straight from his father’s mouth that he wanted him dead? Jinyoung’s blazing anger was instantly doused and left a chilling coldness deep within his chest. He felt empty; something snapped; Jinyoung was at the verge of finding out something that would change his life.

“Why?” He gritted, “How could you do this to me? I’m your son for fuck’s sake!”

Jintae leveled his gaze on him, crouching down so he was directly at Jinyoung’s face when he said, “No, you’re not.”

It felt like the air was punched out of Jinyoung’s lungs. He looked for any traces of lie in his father’s – he was not so sure about that now – eyes. Jintae must be lying; that was what he did best, spinning webs of mistrust and manipulating Jinyoung to his will. Jintae probably just said it because he wanted Jinyoung to act in a specific way; perhaps break his spirit so that he would beg for mercy and his life. However, as Jinyoung continued to stare at his father, as he continued to stare at Jintae, every second proved, with the man’s unwavering gaze set on him – Jintae was not lying this time.

Jinyoung made a strangled noise. He was shivering and hurting all over. This was far more painful than what he had experienced physically. He had been lied to, he had been betrayed all this time. His whole life was a lie.

“Your mother was a whore and you’re a bastard,” Jintae spat. “You’re not my son.”

Jinyoung could not believe what Jintae was saying. His mother was _what_?

“Surprised, are you?” Jintae huffed and stood to look down at him. “Your mother was a whore who slept around. She’s stupid for thinking I wouldn’t find out.”

Jinyoung was shocked. His whole body froze and he felt numb. In and out.

“Where’s my father?” He breathed. It all made sense now – why Jintae had been a monster to him growing up; why Jintae could not care less if he died. He really was just a pawn to the man. He was not Jintae’s blood.

“Ha! That scum? I killed him, of course.” Jintae said with a smile as if the memory was entertaining for him. “I wouldn’t risk my reputation be sullied by your mother. The gang would have laughed behind my back for having a whore for a wife.”

Jinyoung‘s eyes burned. It tingled and felt hot but no tears came out. It was dry – empty and hollow like how he felt for the monster standing in front of him. Slowly, the shock waned and deep hate started to curl in his chest again.

“My sister, is she like me?” Jinyoung gritted out. His sister had her own fair share of abuse but that could be chalked up to Jintae’s inherent nature. The man was evil and he definitely did not spare anyone from his maltreatment. However, if it turned out that she was legitimate, then Jinyoung had no family. He would have been an orphan all along.

“Your sister was the reason your mother had to marry me. I wouldn’t have married that woman if it weren’t for the fact that her dad paid me to save her dignity,” Jintae scowled, “All because your mother was a harlot.”

Jinyoung sucked in a harsh breath and closed his eyes – pained at the revelation. The physical pain he felt compared nothing to final blow Jintae had delivered.

He had been aware all his life that Jintae was a monster; he hated his father with all of his being; he did not have much hope for their relationship. But this knowledge – this knowledge that Jinyoung could have all his life rebelled and retaliated because he did not share any drop of blood with anyone he considered family; that he could have ran away and lived his life all on his own without the guilt of betraying his blood kin, no matter how evil they were.

Jinyoung felt weak, _oh so weak_. He had wasted so much of his life under Jintae who was not even his father at all.

It almost made him hate himself.

“Get out,” he gritted out.

“What’s that?”

Jinyoung opened his eyes and met Jintae’s own. “Get out. I don’t want to look at you anymore.”

Jintae’s expression turned menacing as he said, “Oh, I don’t think you’re in the right position to tell me things. But I will,” he snickered, “I will go because I have more important things to do than to babysit you. Things like drawing out your husband and making him pay for treating me like a fool.”

Jintae turned on his heel and left Jinyoung wet and drenched and mad. Jinyoung was mad and God forbid him – he would be the one making everyone else pay.

  


When Jinyoung woke up this time, he was still hanging from the ropes tied at his wrists that forced him to stand. He was stuck upright lest he risk being pulled apart from his upper extremities’ joints as slumping would only tug at the ropes and would hurt his wrists, arms and shoulders. Not that it mattered – his whole body bled and ached.

It had been days – Jinyoung could not be too sure how many; there were no clocks to tell the time nor windows to let him know when the sun rose and set – and he was still in captivity. There were shackles attached to his ankles. He could not escape.

It was even worse than being kept inside the cage. At least inside, he had space to roam around even if it was small. At least inside, he could move freely.

He was strapped to the wall for far too long now that everything ached. He was dying to sit or lie down. Furthermore, occasionally, someone would come in and subject him to what he deemed was modern day torture – splashing him with cold water, slashing bits of skin open here and there with a sharp knife, ripping some of his nails with pliers.

During the first beatings, Jinyoung shrieked and shouted in pain, thrashing and trying to shake his restraints away. But after each episodes where he was left bleeding and whimpering, Jinyoung lost willpower to fight back.

He knew that he should continue to keep a strong face but that was difficult to do when his spirit was almost broken, only hanging by a thread, and that there were no signs of his husband knowing of his situation. He tried to pry information from the men who visited and dealt blows to him but for every word he spoke, another punch to his gut was delivered. He had learned to just keep mum since Yongguk’s men seemed not eager on giving him any information at all.

Jinyoung winced when he felt a new bruise forming at his jaw. He had been a bit feisty that morning. He had spat at the man who brought him breakfast.

Jinyoung internally scoffed. It was not any breakfast – more of a pig feed. It was stale, soggy bread that the men just force into his mouth. He did not get water. It was incorporated in the bread; that was why it was soggy.

That morning, the man in charged of feeding him had been too chatty. The guy spouted lots of nonsense and if he had stayed on that track, Jinyoung might have enjoyed the noise even. However, the man, Jinyoung was not even sure if he was made, started saying offensive things.

Now, Jinyoung had been pretty immune to slanders thrown at him. His skin had thicken enough during the past days for whatever slur directed at him to just slide off. But this man had spoken negatively about Jaebum.

Now that was something Jinyoung cannot allow.

He had spat the mushed morsel of dough right smack in the middle of the guy’s face. It was not his smartest move but being tied to the wall, that was all he could do.

The man, of course, did not take it kindly, especially when Jinyoung followed it up with spitting at him again – only then, with pure saliva and hatred.

He was thereafter beaten into a pulp. But the look the guy sported as he left Jinyoung alone – mad and disgusted – made Jinyoung felt victorious.

The triumph on lasted for a brief moment, however, because the words the man uttered before exiting the room stayed with Jinyoung even now that he had fallen into a nap and had awoken.

_The Im Don isn’t coming for you. He’s abandoned you and is only waiting for you to die before he takes up Miss Jihyun._

Jinyoung sighed. He did not want to believe the man. But as he looked around the dank cell, with no hints of Jaebum, no signs of Jaebum knowing his condition – Jinyoung was starting to believe.

  


The last person Jinyoung wanted to see was Jihyun. He could tolerate Yongguk since the man seemed level headed and smart albeit a little creepy. He would even prefer Jintae as Jinyoung felt nothing for the man but pure hatred. But Jihyun? Jinyoung did not want to see Jihyun.

She scared him.

He was far from the Jinyoung who snapped at her on the phone; he was not the same Jinyoung who was confident in facing her. The Jinyoung before was Jaebum’s husband and knew where he stood; the Jinyoung now was still Jaebum’s husband, as far as he knew, but this time – Jinyoung was not sure about his place anymore.

And as Jihyun stared at him with a smirk, Jinyoung’s fears were slowly becoming his reality.

“You look ugly,” Jihyun raised a perfect brow. “Jaebum would not give you any light of the day now.”

Jinyoung stared at Jihyun, raking all over her form and searching for hints, anything that would tell him that she had been seeing his husband while he suffered.

Jihyun paced in front of him, her stiletto clicking annoyingly on the concrete floor. “What? You’re being uncharacteristically quiet. Don’t you have anything to say to me?”

In all honesty, Jinyoung has nothing. He did not want to speak to her. Jihyun clearly only wanted to gloat and as much as he wanted to fight back, there really was nothing he could do. Not with him hanging limply off a wall.

Jihyun’s shrill laughter covered the small room. It echoed and hurt his ears. “You know Jaebum’s not going to save you, right? You know this that’s why you’re quiet. You’ve accepted your fate.”

Jinyoung winced at her words. It was not that he thought Jaebum did not want to save him. After months of living under the same roof, of opening up, of shedding tears, of hushed whispers and holding hands – Jinyoung was certain that his husband felt something for him. Or at the very least, cared for him.

But Jinyoung was also sure that Jaebum would not risk his life, _his famiglia_ , to save him. Jaebum was a smart man and he would not wage war to Yongguk for a single life. Even if that life was Jinyoung’s.

After all, the famiglia _always_ came first.

Jinyoung would not hold it against Jaebum’s. He had came to know who the Don was deep inside and he would respect Jaebum’s decision no matter how painful it might be. Jinyoung only wished to at least get back at Jintae and he needed to know if Jaebum truly gave up on him.

“Does he-,” Jinyoung choked out, “Does he know?”

Jihyun ran a red painted nail across Jinyoung’s cheek and then tilted his head up so that he stared directly at her eyes. “He does. I told him personally.”

Jinyoung felt his stomach plummet. Thinking about Jaebum dropping him off and actually hearing of it – that were two different ideas. Now, he felt truly hopeless.

“He got mad at first but we came to an agreement,” Jihyun smiled sweetly and for a moment, Jinyoung could see how happy she was. There was no sinister glint in her eyes; she appeared _in love_. “He said he would take me if you don’t come back. He said he would marry me, Jinyoung-ssi!”

Jihyun stepped back and twirled around with her arms spread wide. She laughed and smiled so wide – Jinyoung almost felt happy for her.

“He’s gonna marry me at last,” she wiped a tear from her eye. “I knew he loved me all along.”

Suddenly, there was something else. There was something else Jinyoung saw. Jinyoung’s eyes widened at his own realisation. Seeing Jihyun so in love with Jaebum – it made him realise that he was in love with him too.

Talk about inconvenient timing. He cannot believe it. He had known for some time now that he felt attraction towards his husband. He had wanted Jaebum. But to be in love with him? Why, oh why was he getting the realisation at the wrong time?

He should be having the epiphany while he and Jaebum strolled by the humongous backyard at their home. He should be having this life changing moment while Jaebum played the piano for him. Hell – it should dawn on him that he was in love with Jaebum while they we’re making love.

Not like this. Not when he was chained to the wall, accepting his gruesome fate and watching the girl he hated express her love for _his_ husband. Goddammit.

And it was so, so much worse that he had to hear the harsh truth from her. That Jaebum was willing to be with her. That Jaebum was going to exchange him for her.

Jinyoung might be giving too much credit to his husband, perhaps he was being biased, but he quickly justified that Jaebum was only doing it for the famiglia. No hard feelings.

Because no matter how much Jaebum cared for Jinyoung, the famiglia always was the priority. And if it took wifing up Jihyun to spare everyone else, then Jaebum would definitely do it. Jinyoung would just be the single casualty.

And he preferred it like that. Jinyoung took a deep breath. He _wanted_ it to be like that if Jaebum would abandon him. At least that way, his husband did it for what he had always believed in. The mafia. Because if it was not for that reason, then only one other possibility remained.

That Jaebum really did not care about him. And that was a scarier thought.

It would paint Jaebum as a monster like Jintae. That Jaebum would gladly drop Jinyoung for the betterment of his mafia without second thoughts.

Jinyoung clenched his fists. He was in love with Jaebum but there was no use to the newfound feeling if the woman in front of her would marry his husband. There would be no use to him.

“So Jinyoung,” Jihyun continued, “You should just die so I could truly be happy.”

Jinyoung might have accepted that there would be no happy ending for him but everything be damned – he was tired of people pushing him around. Even if there would be fruitful results, Jinyoung would at least drag someone down with him.

“No.”

Jihyun’s head snapped up, eyes blown wide and ablaze. “What did you say?”

Jinyoung smiles, an honest and kind smile. The kind that would irritate Jihyun more. “I said no. I refuse to let you have Jaebum.”

Jihyun stepped back and pointed accusingly at him, “You! You can’t do that! I hold you captive!”

Jinyoung kept a levelled eye at her and continued with gentle voice, “ _You_ don’t hold me captive. Yongguk does. You’re nothing without your cousin and Jaebum doesn’t love you. He’s just backed into a corner.” Jinyoung nodded and added a blow, “He doesn’t love you. He loves _me._ ”

Jihyun’s eyes widened in horror and shrieked, “No! He loves me! You’re lying! He’s given up on you!”

“He doesn’t, Jihyun. He’s waiting for the right time to save me. Or whatever,” Jinyoung shrugged, “What I’m sure of is that he hates you.”

Jihyun stomped angrily towards Jinyoung and slapped him right across the face. Jinyoung only composed himself, faced Jihyun again and smiled. That seemed to provoke Jihyun more and she continued to slap him using both the palm and back of her hand.

“I hate you!” She shouted. “If it weren’t for you, Jaebum would’ve loved me!”

She screamed and kicked him in the leg. It hurt a lot since she was wearing killer heels but Jinyoung kept his calm. He knew Jihyun liked throwing a fit and the way to break her was to stay cool and collected. So Jinyoung focused to make a straight face even if what he wanted was to slap Jihyun back.

“I will have you killed!” Jihyun huffed and narrowed her eyes. She looked so maniacal. She looked crazy. “I will tell Yongguk to fucking kill you and I will marry Jaebum over your grave!”

“Let’s see you do that, Jihyun,” Jinyoung forced a smile. What he said were all bluff but he cannot falter now. He needed to keep the act. If this was the last moment he could have a word with Jihyun, he wanted it to be as brutal as he can be. “Even if I do die and Jaebum has married you, he won’t love you the way he loves me.”

Jihyun give a last shriek before stomping out of Jinyoung’s room.

Jinyoung did not feel he won, however. His face stung and his leg hurt on top of the pain his whole body bathed in. He had made Jihyun mad but nothing had changed.

He would still die and it seemed that Jaebum had no plans of saving him. It has been days after all. Jinyoung might have learnt that he loved Jaebum but it would not change anything.

  


__________

  


“What are we waiting for, Mark?” Jaebum hissed. It had been five days already and they have not done anything but meet and plan and talk. He was itching to just bust open Yongguk’s home and smash the fucker’s head on the ground until it became ashes. And _then,_ he would tear Jintae’s limbs one by one and skin the bastard alive. Jaebum was thirsty for blood and everyone kept on delaying him from his fill. “Jinyoung has been held for days now! We don’t know what they’re doing to him!”

“Tone it down, brother. Save your anger for them,” Jackson quipped.

“I swear to God, I’m fucking ready to blow Yongguk’s place! What are we fucking waiting for, huh?”

“Nothing,” Mark said, finally closing his laptop. “We’re all set. You can engaged in a bloodbath with them now.”

Jaebum narrowed his eyes, “What did you do?”

“I told the Hyunwoo to back out of this. Either support us and get some share of territory from Yongguk or back out and not get any. It took two days for Hyunwoo to respond. I was about to say fuck it and let you rampage but then I don’t want another war after this. And certainly not from Hyunwoo.”

Jaebum blinked, he was the Don for goodness’ sake and Mark did not inform him of any of their plans. He was about to tell Mark off but Jackson placed a brotherly hand on his shoulder.

“Jaebum, you were livid up until yesterday. You couldn’t be our Don and I totally understand that. It’s Jinyoung on the line. But that’s it. You can’t be Don so as your underboss and consigliere, me and Mark decided to act as leader. We mean well, brother.”

Jaebum clenched his teeth and raked his fingers through his hair. He had been an irresponsible leader. He had succumbed to _feelings_ and though rage was one sentiment all mafiosi allowed, he handled it like a child. He threw tantrums and broke things. He should have composed himself and kept a levelled head to decide and plan for how they would retrieve Jinyoung and teach Yongguk and Jintae their fucking lessons.

“I’m sorry,” Jaebum said, wincing. He was never one to accept personal shortcomings easily. “But what was that about territories?”

“Oh, you know,” Mark answered. “Just if Hyunwoo would want a share of the Bang’s territories after we win, he would need to help us. And I made it clear to him that we would win this. He can’t go around and help Yongguk because if he does that, we would eradicate them too.”

Jackson grinned, “Mark’s scary when he needs to be, brother. And he drives hard bargains.” Jackson beamed at Jaebum and added, “Don’t worry, we fucking got this in the bag. We would destroy them and claim their lands. It would still be you on the throne, only stronger and fucking wealthier.”

Jaebum instantly felt utterly grateful to have Jackson and Mark by his side. Without them, the famiglia would crumble; Jaebum would lose everything.

And as he stood up and picked up his gun, ready to give hell and paint their territories red with blood, he wondered – since when did he prioritise Jinyoung first. It was always the famiglia at the top of his list. It was the law: The famiglia came first.

He stepped out of the room with Jackson and Mark right behind him. He felt cold vengeance in his gut and oddly, there was no guilt.

He had broken the mafia’s first rule. But he did it for Jinyoung.

Jaebum shrugged. He guessed that now, Jinyoung was his priority.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hi everyone! I’m back! Thank you very much for waiting patiently. I feel bad for dipping out for a while but I really needed the break to sort out personal problems. Being a human being is so fucking hard!!
> 
> Anyways, so that’s the update. It wasn’t the action scene per se but there were huge revelations!!!
> 
> Put in the comments what think yeah? Or you can always talk to me at Twitter and drop crazy suggestions or questions at my cc. :)) 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed!!! I’m a bit rusty since I’ve taken a break but yeah, hope you all had fun reading this.


	19. Chapter 19

XIX

 

Est quaedam flere voluptas

(There is a certain pleasure in weeping)

\- Tristia 4.3.37, Ovid

 

 

Jaebum jerked up when his phone rang and loud noises from downstairs broke out. It was dead of the night and he could not sleep. He was going over mental images of getting Jinyoung back and probably annihilating everyone along the way. Ever since Mark deemed it okay for him to finally strike, which was just hours ago, his blood boiled in his veins –  thrumming and shouting for bloodshed and revenge. And so, he spent the remainder of the night polishing his guns and sharpening his knife.

He immediately grabbed for his phone and stood to check out what was happening in his house. “Mark,” he said to the line.

“Jaebum, thank goodness you’re awake. The kids are on their way to you right now.”

Jaebum frowned, not understanding what Mark was saying, but as he rounded up the corner and down the stairs – he saw Yugyeom and Bambam carrying a passed out Youngjae between them. And when he squinted, he saw blood staining their clothes. He hurried down and exclaimed, for Mark and for the three intruders, “What the fuck is going on? Why is Youngjae hurt?”

“I see you’ve seen them. They’ll explain it to you, Jaebum. I’m gonna hang up now. Tend to them and remember, keep calm. Save your anger for tomorrow. Or later, whichever.” Mark then cut the line off before Jaebum could demand answers from him.

Bambam was the first to notice Jaebum’s presence and he beckoned to the Don for help. “Jaebum hyung! Youngjae’s been shot and your house is the nearest.”

“What the fuck are you all doing in the middle of the night? Why the fuck is Youngjae shot?” Jaebum hissed as he took the side Bambam was supporting to carry Youngjae toward the nearby couch. “What the fuck happened?”

“Yongguk’s men,” Yugyeom said while Bambam scurried off to get first aid and order the helpers for clean towels and warm water. “Apparently, Mark had arranged to shut off our ports. And though it doesn’t affect us, it did Yongguk’s men since majority of their shipment go through our port. They weren’t happy about it.”

“Fuck,” Jaebum muttered. “Surely, they could have asked for an audience with a capo.”

“Yeah, the thing is they did and Jackson told them to suck his dick,” Yugyeom shrugged. “And before you get mad at them, think about it first. Cutting off their supplies is a very logical move. We’ve dented their sales for this past week and guess what? Their weapons supply was compromised as well.”

“But they could reroute the shipments to the south of the country. To Hyunwoo’s ports-” Jaebum trailed and cut himself mid sentence. Of course, they could not. It then all clicked in Jaebum’s head what his consigliere and underboss were trying to pull off. “Except they can’t. They can’t use Hyunwoo’s ports because Mark threatened Hyunwoo and made him close every entry point to Yongguk. And rerouting their shipments to their _own_ ports would cost more money and would take more time.”

“Yup,” Yugyeom grinned. “Mark hyung and Jackson hyung did a very good job. This past week surely pissed Yongguk off and it’s all timing to our attack tomorrow. Or later, whatever.”

“It’s a fucking good plan but now we’ve got a bleeding Youngjae at our hands. And who’s to say they didn’t vent out their frustrations at Jinyoung, huh?” Jaebum scowled. “What if this just caused them to hurt Jinyoung?”

“Relax,” Bambam interjected, holding first aid equipments, “Youngjae only got a scratch. He’s passed out because genius here hit him hard on the head.”

“Hey! I knocked him out because he was in pain and we didn’t have painkillers. I was trying to help,” Yugyeom protested.

“You what?” Jaebum exclaimed. “ _You_ knocked him out?”

“I said, hyung, relax,” Bambam started cleaning Youngjae’s would. He handled the forceps with grace as he fished out the bullet lodged in Youngjae’s thigh. “Youngjae hyung was the one who requested for it. And he specifically said to wake him up before we strike the Bangs.”

“He _what?”_ Jaebum once again exclaimed, getting more and more confused.

“And about Jinyoung hyung. They might lash out on him but hey, hyung is pretty tough. Give him some credit. Let’s just hope they won’t be able to break his spirit,” Bambam replied while he continued to fish out debris from Youngjae’s wound.

“Yeah,” Yugyeom added, “Jinyoung hyung is tougher than he looks. He _married_ you for God’s sake. He’ll make it through a little pain.”

Jaebum stared at Youngjae’s sleeping form. He could not believe what just happened. And all merely hours away from their planned attack on Yongguk’s famiglia.

He hoped that what Bambam and Yugyeom said was true – that Jinyoung would be able to handle pain, that Jinyoung would not break.

Just a little bit more. He was coming. He will come and save Jinyoung.

“Uh, hyung?” Bambam squeaked. “You’re good at stitching, right? Mind doing the work?”

Jaebum let out a loud exhale. He will save Jinyoung but for now, he bent and snatched the needle from Bambam.

He will save Jinyoung but for now, he would have to stitch Youngjae first.

What a headache.

 

 

As soon as the dusk set and the sun lowered behind the magnificent Korean mountains to hide and rest, Jaebum arrived to greet his men that had gathered at one of their warehouses in Cheonan-si – their closest headquarters to Yongguk’s hideout in Cheongju-si. He had briefed his men and had given precise orders the day before. He made it clear that what they were about to do was not a simple rescue mission. They were going to collect payment for debt. They were out for blood.

Jaebum looked over his men. Their number had been reduced since Mark had agreed with him that this whole situation would not have happened if only the men guarding Jinyoung thought and acted with their brains. Jaebum was furious at the soldatos that let Jintae enter the house and kidnap Jinyoung so easily. They were stupid and went against his orders of not letting anyone in. They were not fit to be made. Or at least, they were not in Jaebum’s famiglia. So he did the best next thing to killing them – he imprisoned them for the meantime. Jaebum deemed that he could address their stupidity and deal punishments later – _after_ he had rescued his husband.

Jaebum did not gather too much people. His famiglia’s business had to continue with what they did in the streets. So now, Jaebum only brought his chosen capos and their respective men. It was too much already, he thought. Jackson and the men he supervised were needed. But Mark and Youngjae and Bambam and Yugyeom would not allow themselves to be left out of the loop and so no matter how much Jaebum tried to reassign their places to other businesses he could think of – his stupid cohort would not agree. And of course, their men followed them loyally.

The only capo present aside from his dearest bunch of mafiosi was Kang Chulsoo. Jaebum remembered running after him when he was still an innocent child, hands clean of blood and crime. But he also remembered running _beside_ him during his first mission as a mafioso, claiming lives and going against the law. Kang Chulsoo was Seongwoo’s closest friend in the mafia. He was a capo during Seongwoo’s reign and had been contented at just being that. Jaebum thought the man was one of the most loyal to their famiglia. Chulsoo was also the one who nominated him to be Don. Jaebum had not forgotten; it was thanks to Chulsoo that he was the boss.

Initially, Jaebum did not want Chulsoo to come but the made man had the most encounters with Yongguk and his famiglia, and therefore had experience in facing them. That and the man’s fierce loyalty to him – as Seongwoo’s son.

“Make them pay, Jaebum,” he heard Seongwoo say from his left, casually leaning on his vehicle and examining his gun, metal glinting from the moonlight. “No one messes with our family and gets away with it, son.”

Jaebum nodded. _Fucking yeah,_ he will make them pay.

He looked to where Jackson was, busy inspecting the men and their weapons. Jaebum knew that his brother had not slept a wink as well. Jackson had proved himself worthy of being his underboss, standing in his shoes when he was losing his temper and was not able to be the Don.

Jaebum called for him and Jackson jogged up to his side, “We’re all set. You ready?”

“More than ready,” he patted Jackson’s back. “This is it. We can’t lose.”

Jackson rolled his eyes but the firm set of his mouth told Jaebum that his brother was nervous too. “As if we would. We’re the Ims, remember? We’re unbeatable!”

Jaebum nodded and searched for Mark among the soldiers. Their consigliere was reviewing the blueprint of the Bang’s hide out, which Jaebum felt was unnecessary as he was sure Mark had every nook and cranny of the building memorised already. Mark must have felt his gaze for he caught Jaebum’s eyes. They exchanged nods and Mark began to fold the paper neatly.

It was time.

“Listen!” Jaebum’s clear voice bounced from the warehouse’s walls and shut everyone up. “Remember the plan. First, kill everyone on sight but spare Jintae and Yongguk, those two are mine. Do not leave anyone of them alive. If I see you sparing the enemy, I will shoot you with no hesitation.” Jaebum took a deep breath and steadied himself. He was nervous but he was also angry. “Second, if you ever see Jinyoung, protect him at all cost and alert me immediately. Understood?”

A chorus of _Yes, boss!_ resonated inside the space they were in. Jaebum then led them outside and they began piling in huge, bullet proof vehicles.

The show was on.

 

 

Jackson had wanted to drive directly through Yongguk’s gates and announce their arrival grandly which he and Mark thought to be a very bad idea. Jaebum was not against theatrics but he must agree with his consigliere, his brother’s idea would get them killed. And so, they tweaked Jackson’s proposal and turned it into a more discrete yet still loud entrance, if that even made sense. But Jaebum was way past the point of looking for rationalisation. He just wanted for everything to end; to have Jinyoung by his side again.

They parked the vehicles a good distance from Yongguk’s hideout, a generic looking, two storey warehouse. It was made out of solid concrete and big enough to house the shipments that get delivered through the port at Pyeongtaek which Jaebum harshly reminded himself to be his. It was _his_ port that supplied the Bangs their goods; he frowned at himself.

They were sure that Jinyoung was kept inside the dank building. Mark had pulled strings and bribed his way to information that pinpointed where Jinyoung was being stored. Jaebum gritted his teeth at how easy that information had came by. That was why he was proud to be Cosa Nostra; even if the Bangs swore the same omertà, the men were easier swayed. Jaebum swore internally at the thought of _his_ own men betraying the oath. There will be no forgiveness; it will be another huge mess.

But now here they were, meandering through the trees, on foot, towards Yongguk and his famiglia.

Jaebum and Mark had decided that walking the few meters from where their vehicles were parked, left and manned by assigned footmen for safety and quick escape, was definitely the smarter choice. They would still straight up knock on Yongguk’s door but at least it would be by foot and would not alert the Bangs of their presence by the loud purring of the car engines.

Jaebum compromised and gave Jackson what he wanted, though. To shoot first.

Jaebum led his men towards the building and when they were close enough, just a few inches short from the enemy’s vantage point, he tapped Jackson on the shoulder. Jaebum was thankful of the river not far from them as it blocked the noise coming from stepping on twigs and leaves. There were three men guarding the main entrance of the warehouse, sitting boredly and unaware of their presence.

The underboss grinned evilly at Jaebum and with the silver of the moon glinting off his wide and dark eyes, Jackson looked positively murderous. Beautiful but murderous.

With no hesitations or delays, Jackson raised his Eagle – Jaebum amusedly watched his gun’s twin in his brother’s hand – and pulled the trigger.

The bullet went fast and straight between the guard’s eyebrows on the far right. The man was not even able to open his mouth to scream before falling off his chair and slumping on the ground.

The other two guards were instantly on their feet, wide eyed and finally snapped out of their dazes. The loud bang from the gunshot and their comrade’s death jolted them into a panicked state. The two footmen raised the rifles strapped on their bodies and pointed frantically at every direction, looking for any sign of intruders. Commotion broke from inside the warehouse, probably alerted by Jackson’s gunfire and the yells from the two other guards.

However, before the two men could take another step towards their direction, two bullets cut the air and swiftly embedded themselves into two thick foreheads – right in between the eyebrows; the same way the first mafioso guard suffered.

Jackson whirled his head towards Jaebum and grinned even more. In Jaebum’s hand was an Eagle, a twin of his own. And in Jaebum’s eyes glinted the same murderous intent he had. They really were brothers, through and through.

The entrance to the warehouse burst open and made men spilled through, guns out and ready to fire.

“Let’s go,” Jaebum firmly said and they all charged ahead.

 

 

__________

 

 

Jinyoung was grateful that Jihyun had not bothered coming to him again. He was growing weaker and weaker by the second and he was afraid he was going to pass out and faint in front of the woman. Moreover, he did not want her to see him at such a pitiful state. It might be a very moot point since he had never been anything but pathetic ever since the kidnapping – but still, Jinyoung wanted to at least have the strength to piss Jihyun off more. And as of the moment, he was near to giving up.

He still hurt all over and his foot was starting to turn an alarming shade of green. He knew it was getting infected and had already started to swell. Jinyoung also had a hunch that the reason he was starting to feel really out of it was because he was stunning a fever. Truth be told, Jinyoung would probably welcome death if it comes for him. He was just in so much pain; he wanted for everything to end already.

The thought of Jaebum flashed in his head but it was fleeting. Jinyoung had accepted his fate a long time ago. Maybe he had made the choice subconsciously the moment he opened up to his husband.

He had come to terms to being second, always after the mafia. He knew and understood his place. And he did not blame Jaebum. After all, his husband was only fulfilling his job. As he was – chained to a wall and bloodied. He was living out his purpose as Jintae’s revenge to his dead mother, and no matter how unfair his situation was, it would not be changed. That was just how it was.

However, Jinyoung did not think he can play his role any longer. He was just so damned exhausted.

He was giving up. He was ready to go.

He closed his eyes and was about to let the heavens take him or whatever it was that happened after dying when he heard it. It was faint at first and he was not certain if it was real or if his delirious mind was playing tricks on him. Gunshots. But then he heard it again and again and again.

His eyes flew open and he strained to hear more. What he was hearing was definitely gunshots and people yelling. He could also make out frantic footsteps and several thuds probably indicating scuffles and firearm engagement.

_Could it be?_ He did not want to hope. It might just be Yongguk’s soldatos brawling after having too much soju. It would not be the first time that had happened. Yongguk’s men were a lot rowdier than Jaebum’s. But his heart beat faster, his blood thrummed, and as pathetic as it was – he hoped.

Suddenly, the gunshots were from right outside his room, loud and ugly and painful to Jinyoung’s ears. But it also sparked the dying flame in his chest – _hope_. The door banged opened and a lifeless head fell from the door along with a young man he had not seen before. Definitely made. Jinyoung just was not sure which famiglia he served.

The man patted the dead body and withdrew a ring of keys from its trouser’s pocket. He then walked straight to Jinyoung’s cell and unlocked it.

Jinyoung managed to snap out of his momentary trance and managed to ask, “Who are you?”

“Uh, I work for the boss,” the guy sheepishly said.

The mafioso had black hair and was around the same height as Jinyoung; perhaps around the same age too. And if Jinyoung was not at the brink of dying, he would have taken more time to appraise the man because he was very handsome. But Jinyoung did not know if he was enemy or ally and with the loud firing that was happening upstairs, he needed to be sure if the made man can be trusted. So, Jinyoung just stared at the new face and frowned.

The made man faltered for a bit from Jinyoung’s glare but immediately gathered himself and continued releasing the shackles that bound his Don’s husband. “My boss, uhh, I mean, I’m with the Don.” He was again answered with silence so he continued, mild desperation and panic lacing his voice. “Your husband. Im Jaebum. I’m with him and if we don’t hurry up and something happens to you while I’m around, he’ll kill me. So please,” he huffed when Jinyoung almost slumped to the ground after the cuffs had been removed. He caught Jinyoung with mafioso reflex that did not suit his angelic face. “Oh god, you’re burning hot! You have a fever! Jaebum would kill me. Please don’t die!”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes and groaned, regretting the action. It made the pounding in his head worse and he actually got dizzy. _Goddammit_. “Who are you?” He asked the made man again as he limped out of the room, arm thrown across the mafioso’s shoulder for support. _God, everything hurts_.

“Kim Wonpil,” the made man replied.

The two of them continued navigating Yongguk’s dark basement hallways and Jinyoung saw a couple of bodies lying on the floor as they passed. All with a bullet lodged in their chests. His own constricted and he struggled to breathe.

“You say Jaebum is here?” Jinyoung asked and he hated how the question came out almost pleading.

Wonpil backed them up to a dark corner and raised a hand to quieten him. Jinyoung pursed his lips and willed himself to stop shaking when he heard a rush of footsteps passing by them. Wonpil inched closer to partially cover him. They held their breaths for what seemed like an eternity before the commotion ceased. Wonpil peeked from behind the wall post they were hiding in and nodded towards Jinyoung, signalling that it was relatively safe again.

They resumed hurrying to wherever it was that Wonpil had in mind. “Yes, the boss is here and he has strict orders that you should be protected at all cost and be delivered to him immediately.”

Jinyoung frowned at the term, “Delivered? Did Jaebum really say that? What am I, a commodity?” He stopped abruptly that Wonpil almost dropped him.

“What are you doing? Come on, we need to hurry!” Wonpil ushered Jinyoung to continue walking but all he received was a raised eyebrow. “What? He didn’t say that exactly. Just that he needs to be alerted instantly the moment one of us got you. So now, please, let’s get going.”

Jinyoung scoffed but followed Wonpil. Sue him – but after all the stuff he had experienced, he needed to know what Jaebum thought of him. Especially now that he realised he had feelings for the Don.

The climbed a flight of stairs and rounded at least three corners already – Jinyoung was getting _really_ tired. “Where are we exactly headed?” He could hear the gunshots getting louder every step they take. Surely, Wonpil was not leading him straight to where the crossfire was.

“To the Don, of course. Don’t worry, he knows you’re with me. He’s actually meeting us halfway,” Wonpil replied.

At the thought of Jaebum, Jinyoung could not help the small smile that made its way to his face. His husband really came for him; Jaebum came for him. He had almost given up hope but Jaebum swooped in at the last minute and rescued him from the darkness. Again.

Jinyoung was holding back tears from the realisation that after everything, that even with putting the famiglia at risk – Jaebum had pulled through and went for him.

“Wonpil!” Someone called out not from them. It was another made man and one that had a familiar face to Jinyoung. He did not really know who but he was sure he had seen him before at Jaebum’s house.

“Sangkyun?” Wonpil asked, “What is it?”

“The boss asked me to bring Jinyoung somewhere safe. It’s complete madness out there right now,” he sad, panting. “Don wants to put Jinyoung at the back office on the second floor. Yugyeom’s team cleared it out already so it’s safe.”

“Are you sure?” Wonpil queried and received a frantic nod from Sangkyun. “Okay then, let’s go upstairs.”

However, before Wonpil could turn around and help Jinyoung climb another set of stairs, he was stopped by Sangkyun. “No, the Don said you need to go out there and help them. Yongguk’s men are pretty well-trained and they need more capable hands.” He went to Jinyoung’s other side and helped support Jinyoung as well, “I’ll get Jinyoung to safety. You go and help the boss kick asses.”

“But I just talked to him before I went into the cellar. He gave me specific orders not to let Jinyoung out of sight,” Wonpil reasoned out and then fiddled with the small device attached to his ear. Jinyoung had not noticed it before but it was a microphone. “Let me just confirm it with the boss.”

Wonpil did not even had the chance to blink before a loud bang resonated in the air and a bullet was lodged into his abdomen. His mouth fell agape and his eyes widened in shock and betrayal at the gun in Sangkyun’s hand. “Why?” He choked out.

Jinyoung whimpered when Wonpil fell to the hard cold cement with a thud. He was in shock as well and chills ran through his spine at the implication of what had happened. He whipped his head at Sangkyun who took hold of his forearm in a harsh and bruising grip. The made man’s hardened expression told Jinyoung to stay put. He took a harsh breath and returned his gaze on Wonpil who was spluttering blood on the floor. With a shaky voice, Jinyoung repeated the question, “Why?”

“I didn’t want to pull the trigger,” Sangkyun started and shrugged, “But you wouldn’t do what I was telling you to do. You left me no choice.”

Wonpil rolled helplessly on his side, clutching at his abdomen and putting meagre pressure on the hole. He gasped for breath. “T-the Don,” he forced himself to say, “H-he will k-kill y-”

Wonpil was not able to finish his sentence before finally succumbing to his death.

Jinyoung sucked in a painful inhale, as if he was the one who had died. He clenched his jaw hard and fisted his hands. He had seen the man at their house. He was supposed to be working under Jaebum. Jinyoung briefly connected the dots and came to the conclusion that that was the reason Jintae had easily gotten in the mansion. There was a traitor in their famiglia. _No_ , Jinyoung thought – there might be more than just one. Sangkyun could not have pulled off a stunt like that alone.

Sangkyun started dragging Jinyoung up the stairs with force and haste. “Can you go any slower?”

Jinyoung grunted when his injured foot hit the stair step harshly. He gripped on the stair rail to prevent himself from face planting and willed his legs to move. He was feeling like mush and he was sure that his fever spiked up, record high.

They reached a door at the back of the second floor and he was unceremoniously thrown inside the room, where he thanked the heavens that at least it had a carpeted floor.

He heard the door shut behind him with a click and Sangkyun, once again, dragged him. The made man deposited him into a chair and proceeded to tie his limbs to it with a rope. “Stay put and you won’t be harmed,” Sangkyun’s eyes travelled to his poor state up and down, “Well, not more than you have already.”

Jinyoung surveyed the room; he was really having difficulty staying focused. Hell, he was not even sure he could hold up being awake for another ten minutes.

The room he was in looked like an office – clean and very organised, a stark contrast to the rest of the warehouse. _Must be Yongguk’s office_ , he mused.

He peered at Sangkyun who took a seat by the opposite end of the wall, contacting someone through his phone. Jinyoung felt thoroughly disgusted at the man. With the Bangs and Jintae, he felt mad. At least Yongguk’s men were loyal to their Don. But Sangkyun – Jinyoung was severely repulsed at the man’s betrayal. If there was anything Jaebum’s drilled into him, it was that the famiglia was all about honesty and trust. Loyalty was what glued any mafia together.

“How could you do this to Jaebum?” Jinyoung asked, voice weak and helpless.

Sangkyun shrugged, “Seongwoo shouldn’t have stepped down and handed the famiglia over to his son.”

Jinyoung grimaced, “You killed your comrade. Wonpil is family.”

“He was going to do something that’ll endanger me.” Sangkyun brought out his gun and turned it over and under his palm, “I was just obeying orders.”

Jinyoung glared at the man, “So what do you plan on doing to me?” He could still hear gunshots firing and he was starting to get worried because _why was Jaebum taking so long?_ He did not want to be a damsel in distress, waiting for his Prince Charming to save him.

Jinyoung winced; Jaebum was no Prince Charming. He can not afford to be a damsel.

“Me?” Sangkyun sighed and slipped his gun back into his pocket, “I’m not going to do anything to you. I have orders that we wait.”

“For who?”

The mafioso looked at him questioningly, “You’re too smart for your own good. I know what you’re doing. You’re prying information from me but you have to stop now. I don’t feel like hurting you more so just keep quiet and wait.”

Jinyoung huffed but shut his mouth. There was no use in antagonising Sangkyun when he was tied to a chair.

He had asked for hope and the heavens granted him. Jinyoung had to think quick and formulate a way to escape. He was not a damsel, he reminded himself. He _cannot_ be a damsel. And so, he eyed Sangkyun warily, making sure that the made man would not notice him fidgeting with the tie around his wrists.

There was no certainty that he could loosen it just enough for his hands to slip out, but he would try.

Jaebum was somewhere downstairs. Not his Prince Charming but his husband. His husband was downstairs and so Jinyoung decided he would not die just yet.

 

 

__________

 

 

Jackson never hated much. Sure, his line of work required brutality, a sense of ruthlessness at every blink. He had stolen and killed – but loathing and harbouring grudge? Jackson was not about that at all. His job was being mafioso and he fulfilled it professionally. There was only one person, or group in his case, that he hated. The Triad. But even that was complicated. His family was The Triad and he loved his parents. Jackson had been stricken with so much grief and anguish when they died. He missed them still; the longing would hit him in the middle of the night up to this date.

However, it would not erase the fact that they were the reason for Mark’s scars. And he hated them for that. Deeply.

Yet now, as Jackson came face to face with Daehyun, another name had been added to his hate list. He hated the entirety of the Bangs.

Jung Daehyun had been a nuisance for years. The man was annoying – from his petty quips during famiglia gatherings to his negation at Commission meetings to his men’s continuous run in with theirs. Daehyun had been grating on his nerves since day one but now, it was a whole new level.

As Jackson stared at the made man’s smug face, he swore to never let Daehyun out of his sight alive.

“You all really came to save the bitch?” Daehyun laughed, “Everyone was right. Jaebum _is_ stupid.”

That was it. The fucker just insulted his brother-in-law and brother in one sentence. Jackson officially hated Daehyun.

“You’re going to die, I hope you know that,” Jackson hissed and clutched tighter on his Eagle.

The two of them circled around each other, carefully eyeing and feeling out who would make the first move. Jackson calculated his options. He really did not want to get shot, and not by Daehyun of all people.

“That’s rich coming from Jaebum’s lapdog,” Daehyun sneered. “Tell me, do you do everything he says? I bet you share Mark with him too.”

That snapped Jackson’s patience and he pulled the trigger. Everything happened so fast that Jackson _felt_ the situation more than see it. There had been no room to think – just act. Years of training had kicked in and the underboss felt it was reflex when he dove to the ground after firing the shot aimed at his opponent.

Jackson heard a loud bang that definitely did not come from him accompanied by a sharp, stinging pain at his left thigh. He groaned at being shot but that did not stop him from rolling and hiding behind a large crate in a matter of seconds.

He peered through the corner of the container and smirked when he saw Daehyun clutching at his side. _Not where I wanted to hit but it’s worse than his pathetic shot at my leg_ , Jackson mused. And the Eagle was no flimsy handgun. The underboss was well-aware of how devastating a single shot from his beloved companion could be. He and his brother did not choose it for no reason, after all.

He immediately ducked for cover when another bullet was directed at him. He crawled to the other end of the crate, hissing at the stabbing pain in his thigh. Jackson forced his leg to cooperate before he lost the momentum and fired another shot.

He cursed loudly when the bullet just grazed Daehyun’s arm. Jackson can not believe he was being so sloppy.

“Fucker! Stop hiding like a bitch and face me,” Daehyun called out.

Jackson released another shot and cheered when it hit Daehyun’s leg. “Feel that, motherfucker!” Daehyun fell on his knees and Jackson took the opportunity to shoot another bullet.

It hit Daehyun by the arm and the gun he held skid across the floor. Jackson cheered but his victory was short lived when he felt another burning pain, only now it was on his shoulder. He immediately rolled away and hid himself behind another crate. He hissed as he clutched at his bleeding shoulder; the pain was more intense than that of his leg and hindered him from using the entire arm. _Fucking shit_ , Jackson cursed. He could feel the bullet lodged deep in his shoulder capsule. It would be a bitch taking that out.

“Daehyun!” He heard Youngjae shout. _Ah, so the shot was from Youngjae_. That made sense since unlike Daehyun who was sporadic and impulsive, Yoo Youngjae was cunning and precise. Accurate to a severity that even he, Jaebum’s underboss and one of his famiglia’s best, was scared. Yes, he would admit to being scared. Yoo Youngjae was _that_ ominous.

Jackson watched as Youngjae kneeled by Daehyun’s side. “Don’t you dare die on me, Jung Daehyun!”

Jackson felt a bit guilty. It was always hard to watch a made man die in the arms of someone special to them. But only a bit.

He forced himself to stand up, leaning on the crate to prevent his bloodied thigh from giving out under him. “Hi there, Youngjae,” he greeted, “Nice aim you got there. My shoulder’s totally useless now.”

Youngjae whipped his head and snarled, gun raised and directed at him. “Jackson.”

Jackson was no fool. He knew Youngjae. Unlike Daehyun who liked to rile up his opponents, Youngjae did not spare much words. The made man just pulled the trigger when he felt like it and Jackson was a hundred percent sure that Youngjae was feeling more than just _like_ at the thought of blasting his face into shreds.

He ducked behind a nearby post, clutching at his now useless left arm. Jackson calculated his next move. Daehyun was still on the ground, groaning and  clenching at his side where Jackson’s bullet dug deep. The three of them were fairly isolated from the rest of the chaos. Jackson knew he could just stealthily slip away; Youngjae was busy trying to make sure Daehyun was still breathing after all.

But if anything, Jackson was reckless. Between him and Jaebum, everyone was aware that it was the underboss who had the dramatic flair. It was one of his weakest points in battle but that was what made him _him_. That was his signature.

So Jackson decided he will not run away. He had put the Bangs in his hate list; he could not just walk away and let them leave. He took a deep breath and steeled himself. _Here goes nothing_.

Jackson kissed his Eagle, giving a silent prayer to St. Vitus, before carefully and silently aiming it at Daehyun’s head – just below Youngjae’s crouching form.

His plan would have been flawless if only he had a functioning leg and arm. He knew that the moment Daehyun’s head burst open, Youngjae would blow _his_ in a matter of milliseconds.

Jackson readied himself and pulled the trigger.

He heard Youngjae scream – pure grief and anguish and _hate_ – before crouching down and evading the rainshower of bullets directed at him. Jackson had no room to run now, only the post protecting him from Yoo Youngjae’s wrath.

Jackson had to think and he needed to do it quick. Or maybe he should have put more thought before finishing off Jung Daehyun. _No time for regrets_ , he psyched himself.

“Jackson!” He heard Youngjae call, “There’s no use to hiding. I’m going to fucking blow your head to fucking pieces, you motherfucker!”

Jackson swallowed; there was no way out of it. He could either wait for Youngjae to round up and blast his face or he could die trying to make a dive for the nearest intact crate. The underboss did not second guess and just went to do the latter.

Jackson made a run for it and dove, covering his head while bullets planted themselves deep into his arms and legs and _shit, shit, shit! Not in the fucking stomach! Goddammit!_

He landed with a flop, wheezing and catching for dear oxygen. Jackson was sure that even if he escaped Youngjae, he would have a slim chance of surviving if medical help would be delayed. And of course, it would be delayed – they were in the middle of a fucking mafia crossfire.

But he will be damned if he just succumbed to his fate. After all, he was reckless.

He turned on his mic. Jaebum and Mark should know what was going to happen to him at least. He could not just leave them wondering to assumptions of what happened to him if he – if he died. Jackson was then thankful that Mark had made it so that all of their communication lines directed to Jaebum, Mark and him only. He would not be able to face his men if they heard him whimpering and saying goodbye. No, Im Jackson had pride and reputation to uphold.

“Yo,” he spluttered. Jackson winced at the blood oozing out from his lips. _Damn it._ He crawled, using his good arm and leg for support and dragging himself forward. He was losing too much blood and Youngjae was still firing above him, at him, _everywhere_. He did not have the luxury to dawdle. “Uhm,” he coughed, rolling away from a falling flap of crate metal. He cursed and continued crawling, “If you see Yoo Youngjae, kill him.”

“Jackson?” Jaebum’s voice came in with loud static and gun fire in the background.

“I don’t think I’m going to make it,” Jackson wheezed, “I killed Daehyun and now Youngjae,” he coughed and spluttered blood again, “is after me.”

He heard Jaebum groan loudly from the other end of the line, “Fucking shit, Jackson! What did you do?” Jaebum’s loud voice made Jackson’s head spin but he smiled, nonetheless. Trust his brother to get angry at him even when he was about to die. “Don’t you dare die, you hear me?”

Jaebum made a loud noise and a scream from someone else soon followed, like he just stepped on someone’s throat or something. Jackson laughed but soon choked again in his own blood.

“Mark, are you hearing this?” Jaebum hissed to their radio.

“Stay put,” Mark whispered, “I see you.”

Jackson’s eyes widened when he indeed saw Mark from the shadows not far from them. “What the fuck are you doing here?” He harshly said to his mic. He shook his head. Mark was not a fighter like them. He was the brain of their team for a reason. He would not stand a chance against Youngjae.

“Mark,” Jaebum hissed, “Please tell me you’re not alone. I need _someone_ to aid Jackson.”

“I’m not stupid,” Mark hushed them, “I saw this coming from afar. I just didn’t believe Jackson would actually be this stupid.” Jackson tried to protest but was cut harshly by the consigliere.  “Stay on the ground and keep your head low.”

“What are yo-” Jackson was once again cut mid sentence but this time, it was not Mark’s firm and assuring voice that did it.

Jackson could not be any closer to the ground but he pressed himself against the concrete harder and covered his ears with so much force, he might as well crumple his skull in between his hands. He closed his eyes shut to prevent any debris from lodging into them.

_Jesus Christ_. Jackson had no idea where the stream of bullets from assault rifles came from. _Fucking ARs, God damned. Where did Mark get those?_

After what felt like forever – but really, it was just ten seconds – silence fell over them. Jackson scrunched his nose from the smoke and wheezed out more blood. He almost forgot his wounded state because of the shock.

Suddenly, an arm was around him and when he opened his eyes, Mark was leaning down and pressing on his abdominal wound. Behind him stood Bambam and Yugyeom with equally worried faces and shiny new rifles in hand.

Jackson’s mouth dropped open and he choked out, “Are those HKs?”

Bambam grinned at him and hugged the firearm to his chest, “433 too!”

“We found their weapons storage and got these babies,” Yugyeom added. “Who would have thought they have the latest HK models? Jaebum is going to be pissed.”

Jackson tried to laugh but more blood gurgled out of his mouth. _Ah fuck, that hurt like a bitch_ , Jackson internally moaned.

“Shut up,” Mark commanded. “The fighting’s not done. Go back to your posts.”

“But Jackson hyung!” Bambam disagreed, “We have to keep him safe first.”

“ _I_ will handle him,” Mark made a shooing motion with his hand. “You’re good at fighting so do that. Leave Jackson to me.”

Bambam seemed unconvinced but Yugyeom tugged at his wrists and said, “Let’s go, Bam. The sooner we finish these fuckers, the earlier we all get to go home.”

Mark nodded at them and started ripping Jackson’s shirt for makeshift bandages. When the two mafiosi left, he tapped on his mic and immediately, Jaebum’s booming voice filtered in.

“What the fuck was that loud noise? Was that you?”

“Yes, Bam and Gyeom found guns. Really, really good guns, Jaebum, and we got just in time to save Jackson,” Mark stared at the underboss’ paling complexion and worried his bottom lip, “Jaebum, Jackson’s not looking good.”

“ _Shit_ ,” Jaebum cursed. “Get him out of there and make sure that the bastard doesn’t die.”

Mark nodded to no one, “I’ll bring him outside to our vehicles. I need to manage his wounds as soon as possible.”

“You do that,” Jaebum said, voice laced with worry and fear. “Mark, don’t let my brother die.”

“I won’t.” Mark lugged Jackson’s almost unconscious form and threat spilled from his lips.

“Don’t you dare die on me, Jia Er. Don’t you dare.”

 

 

__________

 

 

“Hi Youngjae!” Jihyun stopped mid run and beamed at Youngjae. “You’re here! That means Jaebum oppa is here too, right? Where is he? I need to see him.”

Youngjae’s mouth flattened into a thin line. He did not expect coming face to face with Jihyun.

A loud crash erupted from the floor below them that caused Jihyun to grab onto Youngjae’s arm. “What was that? Actually,” she peered up at Youngjae and the made man almost felt sorry for her. “What is going on? Why are you all here and picking a fight with Yongguk oppa’s men?”

Youngjae heaved a sigh and pried the woman away from him. “That was Jaebum and we are here to get Jinyoung back,” he said calmly. He was mildly worried about setting Jihyun off. The last thing he needed was to handle a tantrum when he was supposed to be looking for Jinyoung. “Now, do you know where he is?”

Jihyun’s bright expression darkened and settled into a grimace. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Where’s Jaebum oppa?”

“He’s downstairs. He’s going to kill your cousin and disband your famiglia. Jaebum’s not going to go easy on you,” Youngjae paused to contemplate before displaying his gun, “And I’m not as well. Either you tell me where Jinyoung is or I’ll kill you.”

Jihyun screamed, “Why! Why are you doing this? All for that bitch?”

“Jihyun,” Youngjae reprimanded.

“No! Take me to Jaebum! He’ll marry me now that that stupid fucker is out of the way!”

Youngjae froze in alarm. What did Jihyun mean by _out of the way_? Surely, they could not have killed Jinyoung already. _No, they need him to lure Jaebum hyung out_ , Youngjae rationalised. Stil, there was a sense of coldness that seeped to his chest. He needed to be sure. “What do you mean by that? Where is Jinyoung?”

Jihyun’s spat, “Jinyoung this, Jinyoung that! All of you seem to care about him and him only! I’m tired of it.” She turned on her heels and began to stomp away, “I’m taking matters into my own hands. Jaebum will soon accept that there’s no one else for him but _me_.”

The mafioso immediately grabbed Jihyun by the wrist. Playing nice was over. “Jaebum will never accept you as anything,” he said while staring straight into Jihyun’s eyes, “Even _if_ Jinyoung hyung was out of the picture, Jaebum hyung would still not give you the time of the day. You know why?”

Jihyun tried to shrug Youngjae’s grip off. She did with force but the made man’s hold on her was firm and harsh, fingernails almost breaking into her soft skin. It was going to bruise. “Get off me!”

“You know why, huh?” Youngjae clicked his tongue, a mannerism he caught from the Don. “Because you’re a bitch and no one actually likes you,” he stated flatly, as if it was the universal truth. He added, “Even your cousin doesn’t care about you. All he wants is Jaebum’s downfall, not your happiness. Yongguk’s just using you. You’re _nothing_ but a pawn.”

Jihyun shrieked and shoved Youngjae with all her might. This time, Youngjae actually let her go. “Fuck you! Yongguk would never do that to me!”

Youngjae watched as Jihyun ran away, crying and screeching, to the direction of the stairs. He felt a bit guilty breaking her spirit like that. But it had to be done. Besides, all he said was true. No one actually believed that Bang Yongguk was doing all these for his cousin. No, it was all for self gain.

Youngjae followed Jihyun discreetly. He had a suspicion that Jihyun was evacuating to a safer place – and where that might be, a good chance that that was where Jinyoung was kept. The Bangs needed to keep Jinyoung away from the fight because he was their bait. A dead Jinyoung meant no Jaebum. And Jaebum was all Yongguk wanted.

The mafioso tapped his mic, “Hyung, I saw Jihyun. I’m following her right now. I’m almost certain she’ll head where Jinyoung is.”

Youngjae rounded up the corner and stealthily followed Jihyun up the stairs. The woman was still crying and screaming profanities.

Youngjae shook his head. No one brought family into the battlefield, especially when they were not made. Especially when they were women. The mafia was only for those who were mafioso, those who were made.

He felt sorry for Jihyun; Yongguk clearly did not care what happened to her. Youngjae _knew_ the outcome waiting for Jihyun – the only outcome for her.

She would die today and no one would mourn her.

 

 

__________

 

 

Jaebum power walked across the room with so much force that the few men surrounding him flinched whenever his sole made contact with one of the dead bodies lying around, especially when the bodies were one of _them_. A fallen comrade. Their famiglia.

However, Jaebum could not be bothered with paying respects for his men at the meantime. He had received Wonpil’s report of finding Jinyoung but was soon after got intercepted by Yongguk’s men. Two capos, a short muscular man and a lanky blonde one. Moon Jongup and Choi Junhong.

The two were greatly skilled with their guns and their men as well. Not even finishing a blink, bullets rained and hits were exchanged.

Jaebum lost many of his men but they were able to land shots to the two capos’ vital organs. Now, as Jaebum stepped on Jongup’s throat, pressing hard and digging his heel to cut off the capo’s circulation and breathing, Jaebum cursed loudly.

He felt the bone break under his shoes but his mind was elsewhere. He had not received any updates from Wonpil and it had been a good fifteen minutes from the last time he called.

“Fuck,” Jaebum shot Junhong’s lying form just to be sure that the other capo was truly dead.

Aside from not knowing what happened to Wonpil and Jinyoung, there was the issue of his brother committing the stupidest stunt.

Jaebum was not really sure what Jackson did but the fact that the underboss got himself almost dying – Jaebum stepped harder and crushed Jongup’s throat some more – _Goddammit, Jackson_ , he cursed. His brother was clearly out of his mind.

His earpiece buzzed and clicked, then Youngjae’s voice filtered through, telling him that he had seen Jihyun and was already following her to where Jinyoung might be.

“Report to me immediately if you see him,” Jaebum prayed to God that Youngjae did, “Wonpil should be with him.”

“Yes, hyung,” was all Youngjae said before cutting the line.

The Don was ready to scream in frustration. Where could his husband be? What the fuck was Wonpil up to, not updating him like that?

But with four capos gone, there was only two people left for Jaebum to finish the Bangs. Kim Himchan, the underboss, and Bang Yongguk himself.

Jaebum signalled his remaining men to push through with the search and murder. He needed to put an end to all of this; it was taking too long already.

Half of his men were already dead and his husband was still nowhere in sight.

Jaebum’s sanity was running thin.

 

 

___________

 

 

Jinyoung almost got his wrists out of the rope. Well, not really almost but at least the binds were loosening up and if Sangkyun continued to ignore him, he was sure he would be able to pull his hands free. He briefly offered thanks to Mark who had taught him how to tie knots.

His wrists were starting to bleed by how the twines chafed at the delicate skin when the door to the room they were in burst open and gave way to a fuming Jihyun.

_Great,_ Jinyoung’s brain cursed, _the bitch comes in when I least wanted to see her._

Jihyun stomped straight towards him, pointing an accusatory finger. “You whore! Jaebum’s killing everyone because of you! Why don’t you just die!”

She screamed and to Jinyoung’s horror, snatched the gun Sangkyun was polishing with his suit jacket. The made man instantly went to retrieve the firearm but was met by resounding slap from Jihyun. “I’m going to fucking kill this bitch and you can’t stop me.”

“But, Miss, you can’t-” he was again cut off when Jihyun slapped him right across the face. Again.

“I will fucking kill him!” Jihyun shrieked and pressed the gun against Jinyoung’s forehead. “I’m going to fucking kill you and Jaebum oppa will finally have no choice but to love me.”

Jinyoung’s blood ran cold when Jihyun’s index finger slotted into the hole and rested right on the trigger. Just a little pressure on the tiny metal and he would be gone. Dead.

Everything stopped as Jinyoung stared wide eyed at Jihyun’s hate filled gaze.

_This is it. I’m going to die without even seeing Jaebum or anyone from the famiglia. They will find my corpse and-_

A loud bang resonated simultaneously with Jinyoung shutting his eyes hard.

However, he did not feel as if a bullet tore through him. No searing pain. No stabbing injury anywhere. And just as he opened his eyes, he heard a loud thud.

Jihyun’s body fell to the floor in a helpless heap.

Like a flash – Jinyoung was too out of it to properly make sense of what happened – more gunfires were exchanged. He vaguely saw Sangkyun pulling another gun from his inside pocket and aiming it at someone from the direction of the door.

More gunshots and then Sangkyun was on the floor, bleeding through his chest.

Jinyoung stilled and turned his gaze on the new intruder – and it felt like he could breathe again.

His mouth curved downwards and his lips quivered. It was like all the fatigue and exhaustion that accumulated ever since he got abducted washed over him and left him useless and pathetic. Well, more than he already was.

Before his brain registered it, tears were already flowing out of his eyes in a steady stream that he could not control.

“Youngjae,” he sobbed. “You’re here.”

The mafioso immediately ran to his side, checking for any damage – on his face, on his body, in his eyes.

“You’re running a fever, hyung,” Youngjae gently said  and his hands ever so softly caressed Jinyoung’s cheek. “Hush, now, hyung. We are here, Jaebum hyung is here to save you.”

Jinyoung’s tears flowed more at the mention of his husband coming in to rescue him.

Youngjae tapped on his mic and said, “Hyung, I found him. Come to the back, top floor. There’s an office here,” he rushed and started untying Jinyoung’s hands from their constraints. “He’s really hurt and he has a fever. We can meet halfway if you want.”

Youngjae continued to talk to Jaebum through his microphone while simultaneously unbounding him from the chair. His tears were not stopping no matter how hard he tried to reign in his emotions.

From the corner of his eyes, however, he saw something glint and his stomach plummeted. Before he could warn his friend, to his utmost dread, Sangkyun fired at Youngjae.

The made man fell to the ground with a scream.

Jinyoung screamed as well. Finally free from the ropes, he instantly leaped and ran beside his friend on the floor.

He felt Sangkyun move again and he panicked.

Jinyoung, without thinking – his body acting on pure adrenaline and self-preservation – stole the gun from Youngjae’s grasp and reflexively, he closed his eyes and fired. He fired it at Sangkyun once, twice, thrice. He shot the man until he was nothing but blood on the room’s plush carpet.

Jinyoung shook with panic, a chilling sensation seeping into his bones and horror sinking into his stomach.

He had killed. He had murdered.

It was so much different from shooting at targets pinned at trees like he did during trainings with Jaebum. It was so much more intense. Terrifying.

He knew it was irrational but he could feel the way the bullet tore through Sangkyun’s skin, how it broke open the flesh and lodged itself into the bone. Jinyoung could feel the muscle, he could taste the blood.

Jinyoung dropped the gun he was holding and continued to shake. And the tears would not stop still.

“H-hyung?” Youngjae grunted. He was stunned to see Jinyoung rush to his aid and pull his first trigger against a person. But it had to be done or else it would be them who would be lying in a pool of blood. Fortunately, the bullet only hit him on the arm but the force and pain was enough to send him crashing on the ground. Plus, his leg still hurt from the wound he got just hours before. “Breathe, Jinyoung hyung.”

Jinyoung was having a panic attack and he could not breathe. Tears were blurring his vision and he was getting dizzy. He was breaking out in cold sweat and air was becoming harder and harder to take in.

Jinyoung just killed a man and it was taking its toll on him.

“Jaebum hyung,” Youngjae tapped on his earpiece but no one answered. Only static silence. “Come on, hyung. I need you. Jinyoung needs you.”

 

 

__________

 

 

Jaebum cursed for the hundredth time as he received another blow to his jaw, his earpiece falling off. He clutched at his mandible, resetting it and making sure that nothing was broken.

“Is this worth it?” Yongguk asked him, heaving and panting.

Jaebum had not been able to go far from Jongup and Junhong’s corpses when Bang Yongguk showed himself to him. The other Don was enraged, seething and losing his shit, which Jaebum understood because if either Youngjae or Bambam or Yugyeom ended up dying the way the said two capos did – Jaebum would freak out as well. It was just a novel sight so witness the ever so composed quiet Don curse at him endlessly.

“Is the slut really worth sacrificing your men?” Yongguk berated, “Is he worth _my_ men’s lives?”

Jaebum spat blood to the side, taking a deep breath and grounding himself. “Yes, Jinyoung’s worth more than _all_ of your lives. And maybe you should have thought of it first before, you know, fucking abducting him. Then we wouldn’t have this mess.”

Yongguk shook his head, “You always were impulsive. Even when you were still underboss, Seongwoo had to subdue you.” He clicked his tongue, a gesture that grated on Jaebum’s nerves because _no one_ was allowed to disrespect the Im Don like that, “You aren’t fit to head a famiglia, kid. Concede now and maybe I’ll spare you some mercy. Your life, your men’s life, Jinyoung’s life.”

Jaebum wished fervently for his gun. It would be so much easier to just blast the other made man’s head off but during their initial scuffle, he and Yongguk lost grip of their guns, the deadly weapons shuffled out of sight. Well, Jaebum could see the glint of his Eagle from under a broken table at the far side of the room but he would not be able to get ahold of it without getting past the other Don. So, all he could do was grit his teeth and clench his fists.

He steeled himself and dove.

He tackled Yongguk down to the ground, landing a hard punch to the Don’s cheek. He straddled the made man and delivered more hits to the head, making Yongguk’s face and his own knuckles bloody. He pounded left, right, left, right.

But the other Don was not a leader for nothing. Yongguk had been playing the game longer than Jaebum; he knew how to fight and he fought well. Yongguk dodged what would be Jaebum’s final blow on his skull and tried to flip their positions around. He shoved Jaebum off him and placed a strong kick to the side which sent the Im Don crawling to get away from him.

Jaebum grunted from the blow. He muttered an unintelligible string of curses while gripping hard at his torso. _Damn, that was strong._ Yongguk barrelled towards him but he was able to dodge the lunge at the last minute, causing the other Don to slam straight to the wall.

Jaebum did not waste any minute, wanting to end this whole fiasco already – that and he was starting to feel the brunt of their fight; he slid across the room and snagged his beloved Eagle from under its hiding place. And without further ado, he pulled the trigger. Again and again.

There was no harm in making sure that the Bang famiglia’s Don was truly incapacitated. But if anything, Jaebum was not merciful. And most definitely, an angry version of him was worse.

Jaebum made sure that his first bullet sliced through the air and speared Yongguk’s back, hitting the spine. Then his next shots were precisely aimed at the Don’s arms, legs, abdomen. Everywhere but the chest and head.

The Im Don wanted to see the light fade from Yongguk’s eyes and he wanted it to be with suffering. He could not just let the other die easily after kidnapping his husband. No, Jaebum _needed_ Yongguk to die a slow and painful death.

He crouched over the gasping Don and gripped the other’s jaw forcefully, forcing the dying man to look at him. “You thought you could mess with me and get away with it, huh?” Jaebum clocked Yongguk’s head with the butt of his gun. “Well, you’re wrong and I want you to reflect on that as you choke on your blood and die. I would have done so much more to you but I need to find Jinyoung so suck it up and repent on your sins. _Beg_ God to spare you a place in heaven or else you’ll meet me again in hell.”

Jaebum stood and towered over Yongguk’s helpless form. His breathing ragged and loud from the brawl but he angled his gun and fired more shots to the man’s body, decorating it with numerous holes and mangling it beyond the point of recognition – but keeping the other Don still alive. For the meantime.

It would take a few more minutes before Bang Yongguk could die and Jaebum preferred it that way.

He watched as the made man gasp and wheezed for air, a sinister smile growing on his face. Seongwoo and Jackson would be so proud of him.

Now, he needed to find Jinyoung and Youngjae. His earpiece was nowhere to be found but from his last conversation with the younger mafioso, he knew where he needed to go.

Besides, Yongguk was as good as dead. The Bangs did not have a Don anymore and soon enough, their famiglia would be no more as well.

 

 

___________

 

 

Mark injected morphine and antibiotics into Jackson who had the audacity to whine and slap his hands away. “Stay still,” he commanded.

“But Mark, enough of poking me with needles,” Jackson said, feeling better now that he was not choking in his blood anymore. “I need to go back there and help Jaebum.”

“I said, shut the fuck up,” Mark snapped. “You stupid, stupid jerk! Do you think getting pelted with bullets would make you noble? Why couldn’t you fucking use your brain to think, asshole,” he gritted.

The consigliere was livid. He could not believe Jackson was _that_ stupid to endanger himself like that. He sucked in a shaky breath, _I almost lost him_.

“It’s my job,” Jackson murmured. “It’s my job as a made man to follow my Don’s orders. He said to kill and so that’s what I did. Besides, you know I really despise Daehyun. Serves him right.”

Mark resisted the urge to slap Jackson and end the underboss himself. “Jaebum didn’t order you to commit suicide,” he hissed. “You were lucky I saw you dealing with Daehyun and had the insight to call the maknaes for back up.”

Jackson hummed, “Well, that’s what you do. That’s what we count on you for. To be the brains and think rationally when we can’t.” The underboss peered at Mark, “Thank you, Mark. For saving me this time.”

“Dumbass,” he muttered before plunging another needle into Jackson’s shoulder. “You’re not off the hook, just so you know. Jaebum and I will make you pay for worrying us like this.”

Jackson winced from the sting of the needle and antibiotics. “I know, I know but can you please be gentler? I’m already in pain. There’s no need for you to add to my suffering.”

Mark glared at the underboss, “I’ll have you know that I’m only dulling your sensation. You’re still dying and you need to be sent to the hospital for immediate surgery. There’re still bullets inside and you’re still having internal bleedings.”

Jackson rolled his eyes, “If I’m feeling fine then I’m fine.” He paused and then added with all seriousness, “I won’t die, I promise you.”

Mark was about to reply but the earpiece he wore carried through Youngjae’s panicked voice. _Come on, hyung. I need you. Jinyoung needs you._

“Youngjae?” He answered, alerting Jackson in the process, “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t reach Jaebum hyung and Jinyoung is having a panic attack right now.”

“Shit,” Mark hissed, “Where the fuck is Jaebum now?”

“I don’t know, hyung, but the shooting has stopped. I don’t know what’s happening downstairs.”

“Stay with Jinyoung,” Mark stood, “I’ll direct Bam and Yugyeom to your location. Keep yourself and Jinyoung safe, okay?”

“Okay, hyung,” Youngjae replied and Mark cut off the line.

Jackson tried sitting up but the stabbing pain from his gut prevented him from doing so, “What’s going on? Where’s Jaebum?”

“I don’t know but I’m going in.” The consigliere fiddled with the controls of his earpiece and rapidly commanded Yugyeom when it connected to the younger mafioso’s line, “Yugyeom, go to the top floor, back office. Yes, the corner room. Youngjae and Jinyoung are there. And if you see Jaebum, alert him on it, okay?”

Upon hearing the younger’s affirmation, Mark gathered his gun and stood up. “I’m going to have to leave you here. I need to go back inside.”

“Mark,” Jackson warned.

“I can’t leave them by themselves. Jaebum must be hurt if he’s not answering,” Mark pleaded, “Please, Jackson. It’s your brother.”

Jackson looked pained and Mark was certain it was not because of his injuries. He had injected so much morphine into the underboss’ body, it was amazing how Jackson was not yet _high._

“I know,” Jackson sighed. “But be careful.”

Mark nodded and then left the van.

 

 

Jackson slumped back into the seat, wincing at the pain from his wounds. He chastised himself for being useless when Jaebum needed him the most.

He grabbed for his phone and dialled his father’s number. He needed to be of use even when he cannot fight physically. A lot of damage control would have to be done after they were finished with the Bangs.

 

 

__________

 

 

“What do we do with him?” Bambam asked, circling around and poking a beaten up Jintae with the tip of his newfound favourite rifle. “We need to go to Jinyoung hyung and Youngjae hyung. And we sure can’t drag him along with us. What’s the point?”

Yugyeom sighed, “We can’t finish him since Jaebum hyung has strict orders not to. But we can’t just leave him here. He might escape.”

Bambam was silent for a moment and then to Yugyeom’s surprise, he shot the poor man’s legs. With the HK433.

Jintae screamed loudly and Yugyeom did too because, “What the fuck?”

“Geez, you said he might escape so I ruined his legs,” Bambam smirked and directed a question at the bleeding man, “You can’t run now, can you?”

“Jesus Christ,” Yugyeom muttered, “You’re crazy.”

Bambam hummed and fired another round of shots, “Now, he cannot crawl too!”

Yugyeom winced at the mangled state of Jintae’s arms and legs. His boyfriend was clearly out of his mind. “Great, he can’t walk or _crawl_ but we still can’t leave him. Someone might come and take him away, you know?”

Bambam scratched his head for a second before lighting up with an idea, “Let’s tie him to a post, Yugyeom.”

Yugyeom pursed his lips but nodded. It was actually a good idea. “And then we ask someone else to man him for us? Is that what you have in mind?”

Bambam went in and tiptoed, placing a full kiss on Yugyeom’s mouth. “You read my thoughts! That’s why I love you.”

Yugyeom chuckled and shook his head in exasperation. Only Bambam would throw in romance in the middle of a mafia crossfire. “You’re weird but let’s go tie this fucker up. The hyungs need us.”

Bambam and Yugyeom lugged an almost lifeless Jintae to the nearest post and secured him with a rope. Afterwards, they called Dowoon and Sungjin to look after Jintae while they go and aid their hyungs.

What would the famiglia do without them, right?

 

 

__________

 

 

Youngjae tried his damndest to calm Jinyoung down but his hyung was still shaking. He did not even know if Jinyoung could register and understand any of his words. His hyung appeared to be lost in his own head, somewhere very far where Youngjae cannot retrieve him.

“Jinyoung hyung, the others are coming, okay?” He tried to soothe the other again. “Just focus on breathing, hyung. No one’s going to harm you anymore. We’re here.”

The door opened, more like broke down. After all, it bore the damages and got dilapidated from all the firing that transpired. Youngjae braced himself to attack when Chulsoo’s face came into view.

Youngjae sagged in relief and fell in a slump on the floor. He did not allow himself to be separated from Jinyoung for one second. “Chulsoo,” he acknowledged the older mafioso. “Have you seen the boss? He needs to get here quick.”

Chulsoo eyed him and then Jinyoung. The older made man’s eyes scrutinised the both of them before landing on the pile of bodies that were Jihyun and Sangkyun.

“Chulsoo?” Youngjae hesitated, “Jaebum? I mean, the Don. Have you seen him?”

Chulsoo clicked his tongue and sat at the nearby seat, which happened to be the chair Jinyoung was bound to just few minutes ago. “You disgust me.”

Youngjae’s eyes widened and he doubted his ears. Surely, he misheard. “What?”

Chulsoo heaved a sigh. “One fucking task. That was all I asked.”

“What do you mean?” Youngjae stiffened. Something was off. Very, very off.

“You know, I hoped that slut would be already dead when I come up here. But no, instead, I find him cowering like a bitch and two useless corpses lying around. So much disappointment.”

“Kang Chulsoo,” Youngjae prompted with all seriousness he could muster, “What do you mean?”

Chulsoo took his gun out and fired at Youngjae causing the made man to scream in pain when the bullet drove into his chest.

 

 

Jinyoung saw Youngjae fall to the ground and it felt like being punched in the gut. The air swooped out of his body and _God, I’m going to vomit_.

Jinyoung tried to stop his shaking, to no avail, and get a grip on himself, to no avail as well. Youngjae was bleeding; he knew the gunshot was as bad as it looked. And by the sounds Youngjae was making, gasping and choking for air, and with the way his chest fell when he tried to _inhale_ – Jinyoung just knew the younger’s lung was ruptured. _Oh God._

“See, what I mean?” Chulsoo clicked his tongue once more, “Pathetic.”

Jinyoung could not do anything but witness Youngjae battle for dear life. He was struck frozen; he could not move. It was as if he was not in his body – watching the scene unfold before him like a ghost.

 

 

Soon enough, Bambam and Yugyeom came sauntering in the room. The first thing they noticed was Jinyoung’s grief stricken appearance – tear tracks staining his cheeks, battered shape and face ash-white.

The next thing they saw made them scream. They both hurried towards Youngjae and tried to stop the bleeding, screaming profanities and for Youngjae to _Stay awake, hyung! Don’t you dare fucking leave us!_

There was so much blood and Youngjae was already breathing paradoxically, ribs flailing everytime he tried to breathe. They were really getting scared.

They looked around for help and saw Chulsoo sitting in the corner. “Chulsoo-ssi, help us! We need to carry Youngjae hyung to Mark and the guys. They have medical supplies in the car!” Bambam panicked, pleading desperately while his hands turned into bright shades of crimson from pressing on Youngjae’s wound. Blood. So much of it.

“Chulsoo-ssi?” Yugyeom worriedly followed up. “Come on, we need get Youngjae to someone who can stitch him up.” He turned to Jinyoung, “Hyung, I know you’re not in the right state of mind but please move and help us the fuck out.”

Bambam did not get it – why Kang Chulsoo was not moving to help them and why Jinyoung looked more terrified at the mention of the mafioso’s name.

His Youngjae hyung was bleeding to death and no one was moving their asses to help aside from Yugyeom. He did not fucking get it.

 

 

Mark stopped in his tracks. He was running across the ground floor when he heard everything, his earpiece buzzing with static.

Initially, he thought it was Jaebum but what he heard made his blood run cold and the hairs on his forearm stood. He easily connected the dots and a lot of it made fucking sense. All the holes in his mind were now filled with dread and regret and contempt.

Mark had been scared countless of times. But this – this was real, true crippling fear.

He resumed his running, only now faster and with a sense of desperation for him to be wrong this time. _God, please let me be wrong about this. This can’t happen. Oh please, please, please._

The consigliere cursed himself for not seeing this; for letting something as big and serious as this pass. He was supposed to be Jaebum’s brain; the famiglia’s sense of reason. Yet, he completely overlooked Kang Chulsoo.

And now, Youngjae was dying.

Jinyoung, Bambam and Yugyeom were in danger.

He ran up the stairs, two steps at a time, and just before he could complete the flight – Jaebum came from the hallway, running like him, and entered the office room in haste.

Mark’s stomach sunk and he screamed for his Don.

 

 

Jaebum ran, ignoring the way his body protested. He hurt all over – with caked blood on his face, bullet wounds on his body and a dislocated knuckle. But all those were nothing to the thought of seeing his husband again. He could not wait to wrap his arms around him, to reassure him that he was now safe and everything would be alright soon. His husband. His Jinyoung. His _Tesoro_.

He rounded the corner and spent no time hesitating. He caught a glimpse of Mark from the bottom of the stairs and heard his consigliere scream. But he paid no mind.

All in his head was finally seeing Jinyoung.

And there, he saw. His heart broke and rage filtered through his veins at the sight of his abused and broken husband.

Jaebum strode towards Jinyoung’s helpless form with purpose.

But then he saw his three capos – two bodies crouching over one lifeless figure. And his excitement from seeing his husband vanished.

The rage coursing through his veins amplified.

“What the fuck happened here?” He bellowed out.

“Jaebum,” Chulsoo stood up and came up to the Don. “Son, there were too many casualties tonight.”

Jaebum looked confused. Why was Chulsoo telling him that?

He ignored the man and proceeded to help the maknaes carry Youngjae. He would have to put Jinyoung aside, but only for only a short while. Jaebum knew Mark was coming and soon enough, his consigliere would be able to help them with Jinyoung too.

“Son, listen to me,” Chulsoo said and got Jaebum’s attention.

The Don was beginning to get irritated from Chulsoo’s distraction. Youngjae was in immediate need of treatment and the older man just would not shut up.

“What is it?” He hissed.

Suddenly, he was enveloped in a firm, tight hug. He was beyond confused and if he were being honest, freaked out too.

“Jaebum, Seongwoo was so proud of you. And I was too, as your godfather,” Chulsoo said to the Don’s ear. “You were doing so good as the underboss and now, look at you. A fucking Don.”

“Chulsoo, now is not the time.” Jaebum tried to get the mafioso off of him but the embrace was strong. He was losing his patience, “Get off me.”

Chulsoo hushed him, “You listen to _me_ , kid. _I_ should have been Don. _I_ was loyal to Seongwoo to a fault. _I_ was his underboss.”

“What are you saying?” Jaebum frowned, “You were the one that nominated me!”

“Because Seongwoo came to me and asked for it,” Chulsoo scoffed, “I wouldn’t have done it if he didn’t threaten me to. He was still Don then and he said it’s time for the new generation to take over. Well,” he hissed to Jaebum’s ear, “I beg to differ.”

From over Chulsoo’s shoulder, Jaebum saw Mark – eyes frantic and beseeching him. His consigliere shouted, “Jaebum!”

And then all of a sudden, he felt something cold and sharp pierce through his shirt and straight into his back.

It was both so fast and in slow motion. Jaebum tried to shove Chulsoo away but the man’s embrace was strong and Jaebum could not help but notice that while he was covered with blood and injuries, Kang Chulsoo remained in pristine condition.

“Fuck,” he grunted.

The long dagger that dug into his back twisted and plunged in deeper. He helplessly remained in Chulsoo’s embrace even when the sharp metal sliced down his paraspinals – probably hitting every vital organ along the way.

Jaebum remained in his godfather’s arms even after Mark pulled the trigger and the bullet embedded into Chulsoo’s skull from the back.

A fleeting thought came across Jaebum’s mind: _Stabbed in the back, literally._

The two men fell onto the ground – with one dead and the other dying.

 

 

Jinyoung watched everything in pure terror.

He saw the way his husband’s eyes glinted in relief when he saw him. Jinyoung felt that he could breathe then; that air was available just because Jaebum swooped into the room.

He saw how his husband registered Youngjae’s fallen form on the ground and the way his eyes glinted with something akin to rage and anxiety – relief replaced with alarm and trepidation.

And then he saw how Chulsoo went and opened up his husband’s back like the Don was the main course for the night’s last supper. He wanted to yell and warn Jaebum. But no words came out of his stupid mouth; no voice came out from his pathetic throat.

Nothing but sobs and wails of agony and despair.

Jinyoung saw Mark’s face crumple in grief as he rushed forward to his Don, probably losing his mind over who he should prioritise. Youngjae or Jaebum. Both were his family. Both were dying.

Jinyoung saw how Bambam and Yugyeom screamed in fear as Chulsoo’s dagger dug into Jaebum’s flesh, prompting muscles to give way for the waterfall of blood that spilled. He witnessed how they both did not see it coming. After all, Chulsoo was a capo. One of them.

It seemed that Mark was the only one who knew of the mafioso’s betrayal. Jinyoung wondered how he knew and if he knew for some time now.  Jinyoung also wondered what would become of them now, of their famiglia.

He was finally able to move his limbs, dragging himself towards his husband’s body which was almost convulsing. He held his husband’s hand while its entire form shook with spasms.

Jinyoung did not pray to God that he survived and lived during the days he was held captured. He trusted himself and endured the beatings.

But now as he wailed his husband’s name, he _implored_ God to spare Jaebum.

Jinyoung cried his heart out, his throat threatening to collapse from the shrieks he let out; he begged and he begged.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG hi, guys! Yes, I'm finally back with an update. I apologise for leaving you all waiting for a MONTH jsafgdjahjsa  
> I hope you didn't forget this little story?  
> It's so long whew I think this is the longest chapter ive done - ever!  
> I hope I didn't bore you *cross fingers* I tried really hard to keep the tension up. I'm so bad at writing action scenes lmao i should have thought of that BEFORE deciding to write a fucking mafia au *screams into the void*
> 
> ANYWAYS, enough about me. You know the drill! Comment down below what you think of this update yeah? I haven't written for a month and to be honest, i feel so RUSTY. This whole chapter might not even be what you expected and I'm sorry in advance for getting your hopes up :((  
> But I do accept constructive criticisms! You can leave them below or ask me through my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/crudescere) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/crudescere)
> 
> Thank you very much, guys, for being patient with me. :))


	20. Chapter 20

XX

 

Curae leves loquuntur, ingentes stupent

(Light sorrows speak but the deepest sorrow stupefies)

\- Phaedra, 607, Seneca

 

 

Mark was about to tear his hair out or maybe bash his head against the nearest wall. He was already decked and covered from head to toe with a gown, a cap, a mask and gloves. He was ready to plunge his hands deep into a body and save it from dying. But he wanted to scream at the moment. He had to choose and he needed to do it quick.

Jaebum or Youngjae?

The two made men were immediately rushed into the operating room, the best doctors in Seoul already prepared and were anticipating the mafiosi. Both were in very critical conditions and Mark could not make up his mind if he would partake in saving whose life.

He trusted the doctors; he knew they were capable to save his friends but it was still going to be different if _he_ saved them personally. He wanted to be sure, certain, one hundred percent accurate. A single misstep would cause his friends’ lives and he wanted to be present to prevent any of that happening. There had been too many mistakes already. They had allowed lapses on their part. No more, no more.

But as Mark paced in front of the two operating rooms where Jaebum and Youngjae waited for him individually, he felt like he was betraying them. No matter who he chose, he would be abandoning another who needed him.

The door to the left room burst open and a guy dressed as him frantically said, “He’s getting worse. The pressure is increasing to alarming levels. We need to conduct the surgery on him now!”

_Jaebum_.

Mark clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. Jaebum needed him more. Youngjae would forgive him.

 

 

__________

 

 

When Bambam decided to leave Thailand for South Korea, he had been so afraid that even now, years after he left his homeland, he could still feel the anxiety from the memory at the tip of his tongue. Of course, who would not be? He was young at the time, only half the height and most definitely not the man he currently was. He was young and even if he grew up in a household of a Chao Pho, entering another country with another group of crime syndicates – that was a lot to take in at a tender age.

But Bambam _had_ to get out of Thailand. His heart and mind failed in keeping him sane. The horrors had slipped through his walls and penetrated through his consciousness; through his subconscious even. The demons – that was what he referred to the memory – haunted him at every breathing second. They did not spare any time, assaulting him with the smell and taste of blood whether he was awake or asleep. He knew he had to man up, ground himself, and accept the tragedy that had happened like a mafioso in the making. But he was so young back then. He had yet to learn how to compartmentalise his emotions.

He had witnessed his father died over a drug feud; he had been there when their car was stopped on his way to school, his father spending a rare morning off from work to actually fulfill his fatherly duties. He had almost died too, if not for his father protecting him even at the cost of his own life. It had happened in a flash; the tears had not even dropped out of his eyes before his father’s last breath left in a whisper of _I’m sorry, Bammie._ His father’s blood gushed out from multiple bullet wounds and seeped into _his_ clothes. His thin fingers had been covered in bright crimson as he desperately tried to press on his father’s injuries, putting all his might to stop the damned bleeding. Bambam was left drenched in blood as if he had been pelted with bullets himself. It had been too much.

So he had to flee. Everywhere he looked, he was reminded of his dad and his broken family. Naturally, it was his eldest brother who took up being Chao Pho and Bambam did his best to convince him to move out of the country. There were just so many reminders of his family’s syndicate – and after his mom spiralled into depression, Bambam felt that his family was no more. He knew back then that he was still so young, naive and clueless about how their world really went about, but he had been hurting and he needed to escape.

Thankfully, his brother agreed, knowing full well that Bambam carried the death of their father more as he had been _there_ , but there was a condition. It had to be South Korea. Bambam would be free to move away from the trauma that Thailand represented but only if he stayed in Korea where their extended family was at.

He had no problem then. He knew that was where his cousin Jaebum and Jackson stayed. Bambam actually liked the two older boys and thought that they could very well fill in the role of the older brothers he would leave behind. And both did not let him down.

Bambam had grown to love and acknowledge Jaebum and Jackson as real brothers. Suddenly, Thailand was not his home anymore. Suddenly, South Korea was.

And now as he stared at his Jaebum hyung’s lifeless form, connected to tubes and lines from beeping machines that kept his hyung alive, Bambam felt just as scared as that first time he set foot in Korea.

His Jaebum hyung was supposedly the strongest, the mightiest, the best. He looked up to him, almost viewed his cousin as a god. Sure, Bambam knew Jaebum had flaws and shortcomings, but that did not matter – not when Jaebum was undefeatable.

Bambam did not believe it; he did not _want_ to believe what Mark and the doctors had said. That Jaebum slipped into some sort of a coma, his body notwithstanding the trauma of the injuries that littered his flesh. It seemed impossible, too far fetched that his hyung would just give out like that but Mark had explained to him, in between sobs and heartache, that Jaebum had hit his head hard on the floor when Chulsoo and him fell.

It was like with his dad again. He had been there but was too useless to help. Bambam had watched as Jaebum fell from his throne, just like his father did. He was a witness all over again. And _God_ , he was scared. The type of fright that left him with nightmares, rehashing the moment he was rendered useless and just stood at the sides as if he was merely a spectator. Which he should not have been. He should have been able to help. He was older now. He was supposed to be wiser; _stronger_.

Bambam held Jaebum’s hand and did not bother wiping the tears that slipped his eyes. His hyung was allowed to see him as a kid this time, he did not mind.

 

 

__________

 

 

Mark entered Jackson’s room with an almost cry. Since the Don and the underboss were knocked unconscious, it had been up to him to run their famiglia. He was not even allowed a minute to compose himself. The moment everyone learned that their two bosses were slumbering away in the hospital, protests and unrest were thrown left and right which Mark had to subdue and address. He was just about ready to give up. And it had only been three days since.

He sighed and sat himself beside the underboss’ bed. He stared at the sleeping figure of the man and noted how Jackson looked significantly better than the last two days. Stronger and healthier. Much more so than their Don.

After the horrendous situation of killing Chulsoo, Mark had almost lost his mind over Jaebum. He just knew, then and there, that his Don was injured beyond what he could repair. It did not help that Bambam and Yugyeom screamed at him to do something, _anything_ , that would keep Jaebum alive. It most certainly did not help either that Jinyoung fell into a state of insanity – there was nothing else Mark could identify it as – and unstoppingly sobbed and clutched at the Don. Jinyoung had clung onto Jaebum even well after help arrived; Jinyoung fell unconscious _over_ his husband’s bloodied form.

Mark almost broke down himself if not for Seongwoo stepping in with reinforcements just _seconds_ after Jaebum fell unconscious. The look he gave the retired don must have been really pitiful for Seongwoo gave him a hug before yelling to the footmen instructions on carrying Jaebum towards the vehicles outside. Mark had been so relieved that Jackson had called for help and that Seongwoo, who was retired and technically out of commission, swooped in to salvage what remained of them.

The entire hospital was blocked and closed; the already admitted civilian patients kept inside and far away from the wing that housed all of the Im famiglia’s wounded soldiers. Granted, the hospital was another business the Ims held but they had always been careful bringing in made men. It was a legal facade after all. However, their current situation was very dire and they were desperate. And Mark, no matter how good he was – he would not be able to save the lives of so many men with just his bare hands. He would not be able to save Jaebum and Jackson alone.

The consigliere brushed a wayward strand of hair on Jackson’s forehead, willing the man to get better soon so he could gaze upon the expressive eyes that he missed so much.

Jackson had suffered hypovolemic shock from the multiple severe internal hemorrhages. Mark knew and even anticipated it since he had first hand saw the damage Jackson incurred, and that he made the right choice of going back for Jaebum, but still – he wished he had stayed with the underboss longer; tended to Jackson longer.

The bullets lodged all over the underboss had been surgically extracted and Mark brushed a light hand over the bandaged holes, caressing the memories and imagining the scars they would leave on Jackson’s body. It brought him pain.

He sighed again. Lately, that was the only thing he could do. He prayed hard every second that he can for Jaebum and Jackson to wake up. He needed the two of them to run the famiglia. He would not be able to calm the men down for much longer. That and he needed his best friends by his side again.

He needed Jackson – his _whatever_ – back.

Then, just as another tear threatened to escape his eyes, Mark saw Jackson’s eyes flutter open. He held his breath and waited for Jackson to fully come into consciousness.

The underboss appeared confused, squinting at the bright white lights and eyes scanning the room immediately as if he had not just awoken from a deep sleep due to physical trauma – a reflex deeply ingrained in his system. Jackson took notice of Mark almost instantly and rasped out, “Where am I?”

Mark automatically poured water into a glass and let Jackson sip through a straw. There were so many things they had to talk about and the consigliere had to get through all of those without breaking down. He needed to be strong for Jackson. “At the hospital. You did amazing, by the way. It’s because you called Seongwoo at the right time that our men didn’t all die,” Mark gave a small smile. “How are you feeling, though? It’s been three days.”

Jackson scrunched his face in disappointment and tried sitting up, only to wince in pain. “I really fucked myself over, huh. Everything hurts like a bitch. Am I under painkillers? Or are you purposely punishing me for being reckless?”

Mark helped Jackson sit, elevating the bedrest to the perfect angle. “Morphine. That’s the strongest the doctors were willing to inject you with. But if you want, I can give you something stronger.”

“Nevermind, I don’t think that’s necessary,” Jackson rested his head back on the pillow. “I need the pain to remind myself of my recklessness. Anyways, where’s Jaebum?”

Mark stiffened. How would he break it to Jackson that his brother was in an indefinite state of coma? That Jaebum _nearly_ died if not for the emergency surgery that depressurised his brain from the bleeding?

“Mark,” Jackson’s voice dropped low and it was not in the sexy way he did it. It was in that way where the birds flocked away from the impending thunderstorm. “Mark, where’s my brother?”

He bit his lips. There really was no way to go around it. And he could not lie to Jackson. Giving him false hope – that was something that would only hurt the injured man before him more. “He’s in a coma, Jacks. I tried, I swear, I tried to save him. The doctors were the best in all of South Korea but he-” Mark caught himself from saying something that would make the situation worse, not when Jackson was _still_ recovering himself, “He slipped into a coma and we don’t know when he’ll wake up.”

“But he will, right?” Jackson said, eyes blank and staring off into space.

“It’s been three days but he’s stable. I know he will,” Mark added, “We’ve done all that we can and there’s no other damage directed to his brain. He _has_ to wake up. We just don’t know when.”

The underboss closed his eyes and breathed in and out, in and out. “So he must be toying with us. I bet he’s just taking this time to sleep and ignore the duties of a Don. He will wake up. I trust him. He won’t leave me.”

Mark felt some of the burden he carried vanish. He felt a tad bit lighter. At least Jackson took the news rather calmly. Well, it was not a lie anyways. Jaebum was really stable but he was not waking up, whatever the reason was.

“How did he end up knocked dead, anyways? Last time I heard him, _I_ was the one dying. He was calling _me_ out for being stupid. What fuckery did he pull for him to end this badly?” Jackson whined.

Mark explained everything to Jackson – from the moment he ran back inside and heard Youngjae’s conversation with Chulsoo to the specific time he saw the Don fall. He spared no detail of what had occurred – from Youngjae desperately trying to cling onto life to Jinyoung spiralling down to a panic attack.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Jackson hissed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why didn’t you say earlier? Youngjae’s hurt too?”

Mark leaned back on the chair he was sitting at. “Yeah,” he ran a hand across his face, “We almost lost him. His lung was punctured. Surgery was done and he’s alright now. But it’ll take time for him to get out of bed. He has a bad rib fracture too. It was a solid shot.”

“And the others?” Jackson clenched his hands, “Don’t tell me the kids are hurt too. I swear to God, Mark, if they are-”

Mark cut the man off. He clicked his tongue and said, “They’re fine. They’re the reason why I’m still functioning right now. They’ve helped me run the famiglia while you and your brother are peacefully sleeping.”

“So this all happened because Chulsoo fucking fucked us over? He collaborated with Yongguk and Jintae?”

Mark did not hesitate to answer, “Yeah. Him and his men.” Truth be told, after he had entrusted the job of cleaning up Chulsoo’s men to Bambam and Yugyeom, he himself had wanted to shoot everyone dead. He had never been a violent person; bloodlust was not something that ran up his veins. _God_ , he was a victim of the specific brand of violence that made the mafia work. However, after everything, all he wanted was to commit a killing spree towards the people that had hurt his _family_.

But, ultimately, the decision was not up to Mark. He was a consigliere, an advisor. It was not delegated to him how to punish made men. It was out of his job description and so he cannot make decisions like that for the famiglia.

“Where are they?” Jackson snapped. “Where is that bastard Chulsoo and his goddamned men?”

“At the basement,” Mark sighed. “I didn’t want to imprison them along with the guards from Jaebum’s mansion. I believe that those were truly innocent and that Chulsoo was the cause why Jinyoung had been kidnapped. It was almost an inside job, Jackson.”

“Fuck!”

“But we have to do something now. _You_ have to give orders on what to do with those soldatos. It’s been three days and the lack of footmen has dented our revenues from the streets. Business can’t be put on hold any longer.”

Jackson turned his head and stared directly into Mark’s eyes. His jaw was clenched, the same way his fists were. “Kill them all.”

Mark’s brows furrowed, “But, Jack-”

The consigliere was cut off mid sentence as the underboss continued, “I don’t care if they were coerced or what! Half of the famiglia died, the other half dying because of them. My brother is dying! Kill them all Mark, kill them all. And then figure out how to run the business with the remaining men. You’re smart so do that.” He coughed and after regaining composure, said, “That’s your job. So do that and think.”

Mark did not break eye contact with the underboss and so he saw the intensity of emotion the other was feeling. Hatred and despair swirled behind Jackson’s orbs. Mark was not going to be the Good Samaritan this time, he would not be the voice of moral reason. He knew Jackson felt too much, and if someone were to ask him, Mark would definitely say the feeling were darned valid. He would just have to fix and solve the problems that would arise _after_ they cleaned up the famiglia from snakes. “Okay.”

Jackson’s shoulders sagged as if he was waiting for Mark’s opposition but was relieved to know that the consigliere was on his side. “And what of the Yongguk’s remaining men? His lands?”

Mark grimaced, “Don’t worry. His men are nothing like our’s. The moment news spread out that their Don was dead, they all fucking rejoiced and fought over who’s going to be next. But as their codes dictate, the person who kills the Don becomes the Don.”

Jackson’s mouth fell open, “So you mean- What you’re saying is...you?”

The consigliere shook his head, “No, I told them it was Jaebum. Bambam and Yugyeom stand as witnesses. The only problem here now is Jaebum’s still deep asleep.”

“And they’re okay with that? With waiting patiently for a new leader from _outside_ of their famiglia just like that?”

Mark sighed, again for the nth time, “For now, they are. I’ve already communicated with Hyunwoo and he’s sent men across borders to the lands we promised him. And I’ve sent our men, the few that we can afford, there as well. Yongguk’s men are held at bay for _now_. But they won’t be for too long.”

Jackson frowned and appeared to ponder the situation. It was a great feat that Mark had been able to subdue Yongguk’s men by his own. And his consigliere was right – it would only be a matter of time before the men get restless. And God knows what mafiosi did when they get restless. “We have a lot to do. A lot to clean. And a lot to manage.”

Mark hummed in agreement and soon, silence fell over them after. It was awkward and thick, laden with unsaid words and suppressed emotions. Both men stared into nothingness, Jackson to the ceiling and Mark to the wall.

Mark did not know what to do next. Should he leave? He had said what Jackson needed to know about their mafia’s status. His duty as the famiglia’s consigliere to report to the highest official was done. He had relayed the situation to Jackson; professional business was secured. There was nothing more.

Jackson was the first to break the silence. “I’m glad you’re unhurt.”

Mark took a sharp intake of breath at the sudden remark. He was not sure if they could afford to do what they were about to do. He had been trying to keep Jackson at arms length; he had always failed. But this – this felt shaky. The ground they were walking on was not solid concrete and he feared that if he let Jackson run, jump, do whatever he always did that made Mark feel _free_ – they would fall and fall and fall into an abyss they would not be able to escape.

Jackson sighed and when he looked at Mark, the latter squirmed in his seat. When the underboss spoke, Mark heard the _pleading_ tone Jackson seemed to be using frequently on him these past months. “Mark, I know it’s not the right time and place but,” Jackson took a deep inhale then exhale, “I’m really glad you’re not hurt. I love you.”

Mark was not able to stop the pained whimper from his throat. He balled his fists tighter, nails digging and breaking delicate skin.

“Mark, you know I do,” Jackson stared at the ceiling again, all fight seemingly left his injured body. “I wouldn’t know what to do if you got hurt. Especially with Jaebum in a coma.”

The consigliere pursed his lips to prevent the sobs trying to escape him. Heavens know that he loved Jackson as well, as dearly of not more than the underboss felt towards him. It just was not a convenient time for them; it had never been. The timing was always off. There was always something more important going on. And too much pain between them. _That_ was what held Mark back. There was too much blood between him and Jackson that scared him; frightened him from fully giving himself up to the younger man.

“ _Yi En, wǒ ài nǐ_.”

Jackson had said it so softly that Mark almost missed it. It was not anything new; it was not as if it was the first time Jackson had said it to him. But hearing it now, after all that has happened, after all the damage, and in their native language – Mark could not hold it in any longer.

He let out a shaky exhale, slowly looking up and catching Jackson’s eyes who was suddenly staring back at him. “Jia Er,” was all he said before breaking down into tears. Mark bit his lips, trying to control the dam that broke. “Jackson, I-”

Jackson reached for his hand and gently caressed the soft skin at the back, “Hush, now. It’s okay. You know this. I’ve said this to you a thousand times already. I love you, Yi En. And I’m so proud of you for handling things on your own while I was out. But now I’m back and you can rest. Only a little though. The famiglia still needs you.”

Mark knew it was the perfect moment to say what he felt. It was the right opportunity to reassure the underboss that the feeling was requited. “Jackson,” Mark said, lips wobbling and tears continuing to blur his vision, “I love you too.”

Jackson sucked in a breath but then shook his head right after with a sad smile, “Not now, not in the mindstate you are in. You don’t mean that, but thanks anyways.”

Mark glared at Jackson through his tears. He gritted, “I do.”

“No, I said not right now. When you’re head is clear and you’ve come to forgive me, truly _forgive_ me, then I would like to hear you say those words. But not right now when I know you’re only saying it for me. Say it for _you_.”

Mark leaned to the bed and buried his face in Jackson’s leg, folding himself in half as he cried and drenched the younger’s blanket – letting his worries be carried away by the soothing hand that made gentle circles at his shoulder. A hand that never rushed him; never forced him.

 

 

__________

 

 

Jinyoung woke up feeling like someone had dropped him from a helicopter straight down to the concrete. Not the pain per se but he felt extremely sluggish and sleepy. He squinted at the bright light of the room and immediately deciphered that he was in a hospital.

There was a woman beside him, injecting something into the line that pierced his forearm. He felt it sting but not in the sharp way that bullets did when they graze you or when a rib broke – sadly, Jinyoung had gotten acquainted with such – but in that heavy and dull manner that left you wanting to itch your skin. It was annoying, something like a severe toothache.

“I see you’re awake,” the woman – must be a nurse, Jinyoung concluded – gently said. “How do you feel? Do you want water?”

Fortunately, his mind was not in haze. Jinyoung could very well _think_ ; it was just he felt extremely exhausted as well. He grumbled before managing to formulate a real, coherent word. “Jaebum.”

The nurse’s smiling face turned into a frown. “It's my understanding that he’s your husband, yes?”

Jinyoung hummed a confirmation in response, only then noticing that his right foot was propped up and was casted – in metal pins and screws. He became alarmed.

“You’re husband is still unconscious but your family is here,” the nurse offered, “Would you like to see them? Well, I should notify the doctors that you’re finally awake after all. They’ll all know.” The nurse must have noticed Jinyoung staring, more like glaring in confusion, at his foot and she continued, “Your infection was so severe, the doctors had to surgically debride your foot and repair the fractured bits. Your friend here is an amazing doctor and maybe it’ll be best if he explained it to you.”

Jinyoung nodded at the nurse and watched her exit the room.

A few minutes later, the door burst open and Bambam sauntered inside, followed by Mark and Yugyeom.

“Well, hello there, hyung! Feeling peachy?” Bambam greeted and positioned himself on the chair beside Jinyoung’s bed.

“Jaebum,” was the injured man’s only reply.

Bambam shrieked which hurt Jinyoung’s ears, _everyone’s_ ears, “Oh my god! I knew the surgery would mess with his head! Now he thinks I’m Jaebum hyung! I can’t do this,” he shook his head, “I can’t be your husband! I _don’t_ want to be your husband!”

Yugyeom hit him in the head with a rolled magazine he picked up from the bedside table, “Would you shut up?”

Mark sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in clear exasperation, “Either shut up or leave the room.”

Bambam immediately quipped with both arms raised in surrender, “I’ll shut up! But please, I can’t be Jaebum hyung. No offence to Jinyoung hyung but I can’t be his husband. Or be the don of the fami-”

“I said shut up,” Mark hissed to which Bambam fervently nodded and made a zipping gesture across his lips. Sometimes, Mark wanted to quit being part of the famiglia just because of the younger mafioso. It was so easy to get fed up with Bambam’s crazy; the consigliere did not know how Jaebum handled it. Mark turned to Jinyoung and said with a somber tone, “Jaebum’s in a coma. He’s been for five days now.”

Jinyoung felt it difficult to breathe then. Hearing the news and confirming the nightmare that went down – it was frightening. Even more so now that he had finally acknowledged he loved his husband. Jinyoung rasped, “Is he going to be okay?”

The mafiosi’s expressions got downcast. Bambam suddenly looked small and meek as Yugyeom laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. Mark appeared to be trying hard to keep himself together, which worried Jinyoung more.

“Is Jaebum going to be okay?”

“We honestly don’t know,” Mark sighed. “He’s had a major brain hemorrhage and a surgery to address that. The pressure is back to normal but he still isn’t waking up.” The consigliere shook his head, “Plus, his back. You’ve seen the damage, Jinyoung. He’ll need to undergo months of rehabilitation to get back to _normal_.”

Jinyoung clutched the hospital blanket. He remembered the way the dagger plunged into his husband’s back; he remembered the blood; he remembered it all. “Can I see him?”

“Jinyoung, you’re in bad condition yourself,” Mark reasoned out. “The infection on your foot had gotten so bad that it affected the bones. You’ve got multiple fractures and the doctors had to carve out some of it. They did bone grafting meaning you’ll stay in bed for two weeks. And even then, it’ll take more for it to heal.”

“Can I see him?” Jinyoung repeated the question.  

Mark shook his head. “You passed out because the infection got into your bloodstream. Septic shock, I’m sure you know that. We’re pumping you with antibiotics. You can’t leave the bed for now.”

“Mark, take me to him,” he said, adamantly.

“Jinyoung, just wait a week more. Or until you’ve stabilised,” Mark refused again.

Bambam laid a hand on Jinyoung’s trembling ones and said in a tiny voice that Jinyoung was actually surprised, “Please, hyung. You have to take care of yourself too.”

Jinyoung felt a few drops of tears escape his eyes and he closed them, willing the tears to go away. “At least put us in the same room?”

Mark seemed to contemplate on the idea but Yugyeom remarked a _Do it, hyung. That’s what Jaebum hyung would like too._ So the consigliere eventually yielded, “Alright. There’s no problem in that anyway. Would make the visiting easier too.”

Jinyoung offered a small smile and an equally small _Thank you_.

 

 

 

Jinyoung watched Jaebum from his bed – longing to touch his husband skin, feel his warmth and listen to his heartbeat. However, the stupid cast prevented him from transferring anywhere without help, so right now, he made peace with the steady beeping from the monitors that indicated his husband was still _there_.

It was torture. Mark said that Jaebum should be waking anytime soon since his brain activity was clear. But he was not and it stressed Jinyoung out.

Jinyoung snidely thought that this was classic Jaebum behaviour – to do things solely on his whim and go against everyone. Jinyoung swore that Jaebum would get an earful from him once he wakes up.

He stared at his useless leg. As the consigliere had said, he underwent a bone graft. From what he understood, it was not a new bone per se but calcium sulfate fillings were placed to hold his leg and ankle together and help the bones fuse again. It had not been anything major, Mark had assured him. But knowing the way mafiosi belittled health and general well-being, being reckless and nonchalant – Jinyoung was mildly alarmed. He knew his foot infection had been so severe, the news of fracture was expected. But he did not anticipate the probability of the infection seeping into his bones and decaying it from the inside.

He guessed that he had became reckless himself.

The door to his room opened and Bambam and Yugyeom entered with boxes of take outs. It was probably bad for his recovery but the hospital food truly sucked.

“I hope you like burritos!” Bambam greeted enthusiastically and truth be told, Jinyoung was deeply grateful that the young made man kept up the mood. If it were not for Bambam, everyone would just wallow in regret and hope would feel too far out of reach.

“Thank you, Bam,” Jinyoung smiled. “How is Youngjae?”

“Sulking that we didn’t get him fried chicken!” Bambam said in disbelief. “I’m already doing him a favor by sneaking in fast food. He can’t be choosy!”

Jinyoung laughed, “But why didn’t you just buy chicken? I’d be perfectly okay with it.”

“Dumbass here wanted burritos for himself and couldn’t be bothered to go to the _neighbouring_ store that sold fried chicken,” Yugyeom clicked his tongue in judgment. The made man went to Jaebum’s side and gazed at his sleeping Don, “He still hasn’t woken up?”

“You’re the dumbass, of course hyung hasn’t. If he did, we’d know,” Bambam rolled his eyes and dug a burrito for himself. “And I wasn’t being a bad friend! The line for fried chicken was very long and I really wanted burritos too.”

“Is anyone with Youngjae?” Jinyoung asked, mid bite. As much as he appreciated the younger made men frequently visiting him and occupying most of his time, he wanted the same for Youngjae. He did not want the other made man to feel left out or abandoned.

“Mark hyung is with him,” Yugyeom answered. “Now that Jackson hyung is up, he’s dedicated most of his visiting time to Youngjae.”

Jinyoung nodded. He had seen the underboss wheel himself in and out of their room numerous times just to check on Jaebum. Jackson was far from being fully recovered from his injuries and yet, he had immediately returned to work – fixing the famiglia and stepping in as the Don. And even in his wheelchair bound state, Jackson felt as imposing and as intimidating as he was before. Still, he was no Jaebum and Jinyoung was sure that the duty was taking its toll on both Mark and Jackson.

“How is the famiglia?” It was something new he thought he needed to do. Now that Jaebum was still asleep, he felt obliged to at least watch over his husband’s legacy. “How are we doing?”

“Jackson and Mark are doing pretty well with managing our supplies and finances. We’re slowly starting to get as much revenue as we did before. But there’s still a dent to our bank,” Yugyeom said, grabbing a burrito for himself. “They’ve talked with the government officials regarding the powershift in the underground and even if Jackson isn’t Jaebum hyung, he’s still a motherfucking Im. Jackson hyung is a different type of scary.” He let Bambam take a bite on his chicken flavoured wrap and continued, “But besides that, there’s actually nothing to do since Yongguk’s famiglia is technically out. But the men are getting restless. Especially those from Yongguk’s. They want a mafia, a Don.”

Bambam sighed, “I wished Jaebum hyung would wake up. There are so many things I want him to see. New suppliers, new weapons, new partners.” Bambam put down the remaining half of his pork wrap, as if appetite was replaced with sadness. “I want him to wake up.”

Yugyeom nodded and held Jaebum’s hand with his free one. The other, busy with stuffing the rice wrap into his face.

Jinyoung nodded as well. Oh he wished; he wanted. He needed Jaebum to wake up soon.

 

 

 

Jinyoung awoke with Jaebum climbing atop him, trapping him under with powerful thighs, straddling his hips. His husband gazed down at him, looking like a starved animal about to take his first meal in days; or a man left about in the desert for months and he was an oasis. Either way, Jaebum almost look murderous, ready to dive in to his prey.

It sent shivers down Jinyoung’s spine, his heart beat accelerated and the hairs on his arms stood. He was scared of the man who was about to devour him. But he was aroused as well, _so goddamned aroused_.

“Jaebum,” he whispered breathily, voice stuck in his throat.

His husband leaned down and nosed at his neck, tickling his pulse point and making him tremble. Jaebum’s lips was not touching skin; Jaebum maintained good centimetres away, breathing down on him hotly.

“Jaebum,” Jinyoung moaned and clutched at his husband’s arms, “Stop teasing.”

His husband chuckled but continued panting over him, nosing at the tender skin over his jugular. “But I like seeing you squirm, tesoro.”

Jinyoung tried to force Jaebum to kiss him, hands clutching at his husband’s face and bring it up towards his lips. He whimpered when Jaebum withdrew.

Jaebum clicked his tongue, “Too eager, I don’t like it.”

“Jaebum,” he opened his eyes, not even realising that he had them shut, “ _Please_.”

“No,” Jaebum said firmly, “I make the pace. Submit to me, tesoro.”

Jinyoung felt the gush of heat pooling deep within his abdomen – it ached him, made him wanton with need.

“Submit to me,” his Don commanded.

He nodded, delirious with the heat and smell of Jaebum and the dark gaze his husband drilled at him. “Yes,” he panted, “Yes, yes, I’m all yours.”

Jaebum smirked evilly and if Jinyoung was not so _damned_ aroused, he would find it frightening. Or maybe he already did, and the fear was what did it. Perhaps it was the fear that made him tingle, made him cry with desperate want. Sick. _Jesus, I am so messed up_.

“Jaebum,” he breathed, “Please, fuck me over.”

His husband threw his head back in a loud laugh, “Your wish is my command, tesoro.”

Featherlight fingers skimmed at his sides, making him arch up to press closer to Jaebum who seemed intent on prolonging his agony. A warm, callused hand made its way under his shirt and palmed at one of his nipples while Jaebum’s other hand brushed the strands of hair that began to stick to his sweaty forehead.

“Open your eyes, tesoro. You keep on closing them,” Jaebum said, voice booming from above him. “Open them at look at me.”

Jinyoung has not even noticed he had shut them close again. But his husband’s warmth, scent, _everything_ – Jaebum’s proximity made his head swim. He was light headed and flushed.

He stared directly at Jaebum’s pitch black orbs, appreciating the beauty of the deadly glint in them reflected by the low light of the lamp. His husband looked absolutely beautiful in the same way the devil was, and Jinyoung fell for him just like Adam and Eve did when they got banished out of Eden.

Jaebum, after the gruelling wait, finally sunk down to connect lips with him. And _God_ , it was pure bliss. Jinyoung opened up to his husband who drank and drank and drank everything he was willing to give – and Jinyoung was willing to be victim, willing to be prey.

Their mouths languidly moulded into one, tongues and lips in perfect harmony. Jaebum’s exhales were his inhales. They were completely lost within each other. No one else mattered in the universe but them.

Until he brought a hand to Jaebum’s back and at first, he thought it was sweat. Jaebum was shirtless after all, broad planes of defined muscles stretched across his abdomen, shoulders, chest and back. Jinyoung thought it to be sweat. It had to be.

However, his fingers brushed a long, jagged indentation that ran beside Jaebum’s spine and he instantly chilled. Shivers ran down his arms and a deep chill settled in his gut, but not because his husband was still mouthing at his neck. No, not this time.

Jinyoung stilled and whispered, “Jaebum?”

His husband drew back a little to look at him and hummed in acknowledgment. “What is it, tesoro?”

Jinyoung could feel liquid seeping out from Jaebum’s back and coating his fingers. He was afraid to look, hopelessly focusing his eyes on his husband’s beautiful face and searching for any signs of discomfort. “Are you alright? Does it hurt anywhere?” His voice trembled as he prayed to God that _No, this can’t be happening_.

Jaebum chuckled, “What do you mean, love? Of course, I’m not hurt. Well, except for my dick being too hard, that is.”

Jinyoung, ever so slowly, withdrew his hand from Jaebum’s back and forced a smile.

The smile did not last.

A loud bang shattered their serenity and in an instant, Jaebum was slumped dead above him with a hole in his head where bright red blood gushed out like a waterfall. Jinyoung finally glimpsed at his hand, the one embracing his husband, and then he screamed.

His hand was dripping the same shade of crimson. Jaebum’s back was torn open to bleed.

 

 

 

He frantically sat up on the bed, catching for dear oxygen and searching frenziedly for Jaebum.

Jinyoung saw his husband peacefully sleeping away at the bed beside him. They were still in the hospital. Jaebum was still in a coma.

It was not real, then. A nightmare.

But the panic had set in and he struggled to keep himself calm. He _desperately_ needed his husband.

Jinyoung, despite doctors and Mark’s orders of strict bed rest, used whatever little strength he had left to leave the bed. It was only a few feet that separated him from his husband. If he had survived Yongguk, a few feet would not hurt him.

He carefully manoeuvred the IV stand towards the other side of his bed, to the space between. He then dangled his good leg and slowly, painfully supported the casted one. It was excruciatingly difficult and probably ill advised. Mark would surely be infuriated but he needed to be with Jaebum. He needed to feel his husband.

He kept his right foot off the ground, not wanting to stress it and bear weight. He was not _that_ reckless. Jinyoung clutched at everything he could hold for support as he cruised the small space towards his still slumbering husband.

With dedication, he managed to deposit himself on the couch beside Jaebum’s bed. For days since the horrible event, he was finally able to hold Jaebum again.

Jinyoung clutched dearly at his husband’s hand, intertwining their fingers and bringing it to his mouth to kiss gently.

Jaebum felt unreal. He was not the Jaebum he knew who chastised and berated him at every turn but who also made love to him and killed men for his sake. No, this Jaebum was too quiet, too calm. Too peaceful.

Jinyoung missed Jaebum’s fickleness.

Jinyoung missed Jaebum’s rage.

Jinyoung missed Jaebum so deep and so intense, it gutted him. And he was experiencing it for the first time. He had taken the news from Mark more calmly than he should have and now, the grief and anxiety were pouring all at once and he could not stop it.

And he felt scared; frightened for the possibility of his husband never waking up again.

And then he cried. He sobbed loud and hard as if he had lost, as if he mourned.

“Jaebum,” he pleaded, “Come back to me.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sgdafskjhgda IM SO LATE I'm sorry but in my defense, I had been REALLY busy. Like REALLY busy.  
> And there wasn't much that happened in this chapter, I know. I just wanted to upload and reassure you guys that none of the boys died...like _really_ died.  
> That's it. Hopefully the coming days won't be too harsh on me because ajfgasdjlsa the longer this goes on, the lesser my drive and inspiration is omg   
> Also, I need to plan out Markson. I have this vague plot already, as you all probably know, but I need to map out what I want to do with them. Like how I want to tell their story.  
> Plus, there are so many stupid scenes I want to insert here but i CANT. not until all this drama subsides *sweats*  
> so yeah...leave comments or scream at me. I accept any form of feedback :DD lmao and tell me if you thought there was going to be SMUT and that Jaebum was finally awake...only to be crushed with the knowledge that it was just Jinyoung's dream asjgdasjlfgs


	21. Chapter 21

XXI

 

Optimus ille animi vindex laedentia pectus vincula qui rupit, dedoluitque semel

(He’s his own best liberator who snaps the chains that hurt his heart, and ends the grief forever)

\- Remedia Amoris, 293-4, Part V, Ovid

  


 

“Can you believe Mark allowed Jackson to wheel in the middle of the highway?” Jinyoung whined, “I swear to God, Jaebum, he’s being too soft on Jackson! And Jackson’s been taking advantage of it and always uses his _disability_ to wheedle things from Mark.”

Jinyoung took another donut from the box Bambam had bought him for lunch. He had fallen into the habit of talking to Jaebum, updating his husband on how the famiglia was doing, how the weather was, and what stunts of lunacy the others were pulling. 

The first time he had been caught conversing with a still sleeping Jaebum, it had been by Mark. The consigliere had instantly shown pity towards him with the way he heartbreakingly said _Oh Jinyoung, you’re hurting so much_. The made man suggested that it might not be in Jinyoung’s best interest to keep hanging out with Jaebum as it would only feed the loneliness he was already feeling. Mark supposed that talking to someone who was not even able to hear, even more so respond, would only make Jinyoung’s suffering grow, and offered Jinyoung another private room where he could recover and heal without the constant reminder of the Don being in a deep coma. 

However, Jinyoung would not have it. He persistently insisted that separating him from Jaebum after what had happened, after being forcefully without his husband for _days_ under Yongguk’s hand, not knowing if he would be saved, if his husband deemed him important enough to be saved – separating him now would only make the trauma worse. He needed Jaebum as he was sure his husband needed him as well. Mark did not say another word after that. But perhaps it also had to do with him suddenly bursting into uncontrollable tears while he spoke his piece. Either way, he was left alone with Jaebum in respect. 

His favourite part of all was reading to Jaebum. Jinyoung came into the realisation one day that he and Jaebum had never read together; never shared literary ideas nor exchange thoughts about particular books that they had read in the past. He knew that his husband liked to read as well and surmised that it was the perfect opportunity to indulge in the passion they shared. So in haste, he had scribbled down a list and asked Bambam to bring the titles from Jaebum’s library to the hospital. The young mafioso complained that it would be too heavy and much of a hassle to bring books just for him to bask in a boring hobby – but when he explained his plan of reading the novels out _with_ Jaebum, the made man’s expression broke and immediately did what he requested. Jinyoung should be offended by the manner everyone kept throwing him patronising looks but was not. He knew all of them were hurting; he knew how desperately everybody needed their Don. He also knew that him being Jaebum’s husband allowed him the privilege of feeling the hurt _more_. His worries and anxiousness were valid. Jaebum was his husband and he loved him, so anyone who might think that he was losing his mind – well, they were not far off. 

“You should really wake up soon and talk some sense to Jackson,” he said, licking cream off his fingers, “And trust that I’m not going to let you do that when you get put in a wheelchair yourself. Nope, I’m not going to allow it. But if it’s _you_ who’s going to wheel _me_ down the highway, well, that’s an entirely different situation.”

Jinyoung told Jaebum how Youngjae was recovering well – that the made man was now waned from the mechanical ventilator that had kept his lungs from collapsing the past weeks. He also told Jaebum that he himself had started physical therapy, slowly but surely regaining the movements that he had lost, mostly on his foot and leg, and had begun preparations for ambulation. He already had his crutches beside his bed but outside rehabilitation sessions, he still could not walk. But at least, he had been prescribed a wheelchair so moving around the room and down the hallway to visit Youngjae had been manageable. 

“Oh and did I tell you how Yugyeom had to pluck Bambam out of a hole?” Jinyoung giggled, “He fell into a manhole while running away from a rat. A rat, Jaebum! A rat! He could kill people in a heartbeat but can’t handle a rat? Ridiculous!”

Once his giggles died down, the room was again plunged in cold silence, with only the steady beeping of the machines as background noise. And just like routine, like a programmed response Jinyoung developed over the weeks – tears started to pool in his eyes and soon after, streamed down his face. 

Jinyoung clutched his husband’s hand tightly. No matter how much he tried to keep a positive face, when there was nothing else to say, when Jaebum’s silence was his only response – Jinyoung could never stop the overwhelming sense of despair, eating him up from the inside out. 

“Jaebum,” he laid his head down against his husband’s arm, head turned towards the beautiful face he longed to see scowling at him with life again. “Please, wake up. I miss you. I love you.”

And just like a habit – he fell asleep praying for his Don to come back to him. 

 

 

_________

 

 

Jackson opened the door to Jaebum’s room and stopped midway entering when he saw Jinyoung slumped onto Jaebum’s side. 

“Jackson?” Mark said from behind. The consigliere volunteered for the role of being the underboss’ wheelchair navigator even though it was unnecessary. Jackson could very much wheel himself alone but the other insisted. 

“Jinyoung’s asleep on Jaebum’s side again,” he said. “Can’t you convince him to get a separate room?”

Mark sighed and opened the door wider to wheel Jackson through, “You should really stop blaming him, Jackson. It’s not his fault, you know that.”

He did know. Jackson was not blind. He knew none of what had happened was Jinyoung’s fault; no one wanted to be abducted and tortured. Hell, if there was someone to blame within their circle, it would be Jaebum – his brother for developing a plan that ended up with too much casualties. Still, it was hard not to feel resentment towards his brother-in-law. After all, if it was not for Park Jinyoung, Jintae would not have had access to them, Yongguk would not have the opportunity and Chulsoo would not have allies that would lead to the conspiracy that fucked their famiglia up. Jinyoung seemed to be the root of all their problems, the catalyst – the reason his brother was still deep in a coma. 

“I know but it’s hard, okay?” He said. “My brother is knocked out cold and no one knows when he’ll be waking up. It’s easy to pin everything on him.”

Mark laid a comforting hand on Jackson’s shoulder, “You know what I think? That Jaebum would do this mess all over again if it meant saving Jinyoung. You know how he is, how one sided his mind can be once he made the decision.”

The sad truth was Jackson agreed with Mark’s statement. He knew Jaebum would risk it all for Jinyoung, over and over again. His brother would do anything because he loved Jinyoung. And he could not blame Jaebum for it. 

“It sucks. It really sucks,” Jackson pouted. 

He waited with a frown as Mark tapped Jinyoung’s shoulder to wake the latter up. He watched as Jinyoung’s eyes fluttered open and looked at them with slight confusion. 

“Mark? Jackson?” Jinyoung mumbled. “Is there something wrong?”

“Nothing. Just, Hyejin’s asking if you need something from home. She and Seongwoo are visiting,” Mark said, sitting down on the corner of Jaebum’s bed. 

“I’m good,” Jinyoung replied, tilting his head and trying to stretch the kink that formed along the muscles on his neck. 

Jackson shook his head, “You know what? You should go home.”

He saw the frown that settled in between Jinyoung’s thick brows and heard the tension underlying the reply, “No. I won’t leave Jaebum.”

He also heard Mark’s disappointed exhale, “Jackson, please.”

“I’m not-”, he sighed. Jinyoung glared at him as if expecting a fight, but he was tired. They were all in the same boat. They all just wanted his brother to fucking wake up. “What I meant was perhaps you should go out and spend some time _outside_. Go to your house, pick up stuff you need or shower. Just do something outside of this damned hospital.”

“Why do you keep on insisting I should go?” Jinyoung said with annoyance. “I’m not leaving his side. No matter what.”

Frustration spiked in him and before he could stop himself, Jackson scowled, “You’re not getting what I’m saying! What I want you to do-”

“Enough, Jacks,” Mark butted in. The consigliere stood and started wheeling Jackson away from Jinyoung. “Let’s go. Let Jinyoung be.”

Jackson clenched the armrests until his nails broke the cushions. “Fine. Keep an eye on him,” he gestured to their sleeping Don, “Don’t fuck this up too.”

He then let Mark manoeuvre him out of the room. It was not Jackson’s intention to antagonise Jinyoung – he was trying to be civil for fuck’s sake – but his brother-in-law made it so damned easy to. He did not get why Jinyoung just would not leave Jaebum alone, even for one second. 

Perhaps Jackson missed his brother too. 

Perhaps Jackson was scared as well. 

Perhaps Jackson just wanted some alone time with Jaebum. 

He ruffled his hair in frustration. “Dammit!”

“You should try being easier on him, Jackson,” Mark said seriously. “Jaebum’s _his_ husband. I understand that it has been you and Jaebum against the world for years, but Jinyoung’s the husband now. He has rights.”

Jackson understood that but still, it did not sit well with him. Call him too attached to his brother or whatever, but Jaebum really had been his rock and role model since he met the man.  “I hate it,” he pouted which earned a chuckle from Mark. 

“You’re such a child,” the consigliere ruffled his already mussed hair. “You were really rude to him just now. You have to apologise.”

Jackson hummed, “I will but not now. Ma is coming, help me take a bath and dress. I don’t want her to see me in yesterday’s clothes. She will flip.”

 

 

_________

 

 

“I really think Jackson hates my guts,” Jinyoung said upon opening Youngjae’s room. “I don’t understand why he hates me so much.”

He plopped down on the made man’s bed, putting his crutches to the side. It would be another week before his cast was removed. But at least through therapy sessions, he learned how to walk short distances on his own. And it helped that all of their rooms were just beside each other. 

Youngjae was sitting and reading comics, something that he settled on doing if not playing games to pass time. The mafioso was still bedbound, his lungs not yet fully recovered for more physical activities. “What do you mean?” 

“He dropped by this afternoon,” Jinyoung sighed. “He blames me, Youngjae. For what happened to Jaebum, to the famiglia. For everything.”

Youngjae closed the comic he was reading and put it aside, offering a sincere look of apology, “I’m sorry. He’s not usually like that. Jackson hyung isn’t one to blame family. Maybe he’s just really hurting.”

“But that’s it! We all are,” Jinyoung huffed, exasperated. “I don’t know why he’s targeting me so much. And it’s not like Mark is actually reprimanding him. I feel like he blames me too, deep inside.” After a beat of silence, he added, “Do you? Blame me too? You think this is all my fault? That none of this would have happened if I didn’t marry your Don? If I didn’t get involved with the famiglia?”

“Woah, slow down,” Youngjae vigorously shook his head, “I don’t blame you for anything. I know all that’s happened wasn’t your fault. Hell, you didn’t want to marry hyung in the first place!”

Jinyoung winced. The memory of how much he loathed Jaebum, of how much he cursed being married to the Don of the most notorious mafia in South Korea – it made his skin crawl. How much had changed since then that the man he hated the most was now holding his heart. How different he was now that he willingly loved the same man he vowed to never forgive. 

“But I understand where Jackson hyung is coming from,” Youngjae sheepishly added. “I mean, you didn’t want to be here in the first place and I _get_ that. But that’s maybe the reason why Jackson hyung isn’t trusting you.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes, “A lot has changed since then! He can’t hold the past against me forever.”

“Well, you haven’t exactly shown you’re down with our lifestyle,” Youngjae added. 

Now that he thought about it, he realised that the made man was right. He had yet to express his acceptance towards the mafia life. And even to his husband – he had not told Jaebum that he was willing to be a _part_ of his empire. The closest to the matter he did was urge Jaebum to tell him things, to speak to him about the famiglia. 

However, to his defence, he just realised the gravity of his involvement to the syndicate when he was kept prisoner. Jinyoung remained clueless about his actual importance as the Don’s husband until he was already beaten and bleeding. 

“But I’m trying to actively participate now, aren’t I?” Jinyoung countered. “I’m asking Mark about things. I’m keeping tabs and updating myself on what’s happening to the famiglia. Doesn’t that count?”

Youngjae sighed, “It counts a lot. I’m sure Jackson hyung sees that too.”

Jinyoung huffed, unconvinced. It really seemed like Jackson hated his existence. From the get go, the underboss had been downright disagreeable. And even before the mess, when he was actually getting along well with everyone and played his place as Jaebum’s husband smoothly, Jackson still displayed bits of hostility towards him. It was easy to brush it off then because he had Jaebum to keep Jackson in check. But now that his husband laid unconscious, no one kept Jackson from being antagonistic. _Another reason why Jaebum needed to wake up,_ Jinyoung thought. 

“Still, it’s unfair,” Jinyoung pouted. “Anyways, how are you doing?”

Youngjae smiled, “Yeah, I’m doing real good with therapy. And next week, I’ll be allowed to go home. Mark hyung is just being crazy insistent that I _fully_ recover before going back to business.”

“That’s awfully kind of him,” Jinyoung said. “But kind of odd how he allows Jackson to be out and about when he can’t get off the wheelchair yet.”

“Well, Jackson hyung is technically in charge of all the decisions while Jaebum hyung’s still out. But even if he wasn’t, Mark hyung can _never_ say no to Jackson hyung when he uses his charms,” Youngjae chuckled. “Those two hyungs are as interesting as you and Jaebum hyung.”

Before Jinyoung could further inquire on what Youngjae’s statement might mean, the door opened and their physical therapist entered. 

“Oh is it time?” Youngjae asked to which the therapist nodded in response. 

“Okay then, it’s time for me to leave,” Jinyoung gathered his crutches and stood up, not without giving a proud smile to the woman in scrubs, “Yes, yes, I remembered what you’ve taught me.”

The mafioso laughed, “Make his therapy sessions harder, please. He needs to take his mind off things.”

Their physical therapist just smiled politely and opened the door for Jinyoung to leave. She really was serious when it came to her job. Jinyoung liked her very much – no nonsense attitude and she taught them scientific basis behind their exercises every session so it was always fun. 

“Say hi to Jaebum hyung for me!”

Jinyoung heard Youngjae call out and he almost tripped on air. 

 _Right_ , he would go back to their room and be welcomed by the sight of his sleeping husband. 

He could not help but sigh as he continued forward. 

  
  


It was the dead of the night when Jinyoung was awoken by the pitter patter of rain hitting the windows. It had been sunny the whole week and the forecast did not mention any possibilities of the shower. But the drops became heavier and louder, and thunder started to rumble across the sky. It was odd but not unwelcome. 

Jinyoung glanced at the digital clock on the bedside table which read fifteen minutes after two in the morning. He sighed, knowing that it would take him at least an hour to return to sleep. He brought the blanket around him tighter and adjusted his position on the chair that had been his bed for the past week. Youngjae had scolded him for doing so. His back certainly was starting to hurt but he really did not want to sleep any farther away from Jaebum. 

His eyes wandered to his husband – and he instantly froze. 

His breath hitched, his pulse hastened. The room was dark but there was no mistaking it; the faint light from the headboard illuminated his husband’s face. Lighting decorated the sky just as the loud booming of another thunder – and further highlighted Jaebum’s eyes. 

His husband was looking at him, eyes opened and boring straight into his own. 

Jinyoung would have screamed if he could, but he was suddenly devoid of voice. He trembled in disbelief; flashes of Youngjae’s warning that loneliness drove people crazy ran through him. Maybe he was finally going insane. 

However, in the corner of his eye, he caught the tiniest bit of movement from Jaebum’s fingers. His husband’s hand twitched, once, twice, until Jinyoung had to lay his own over it because _God, don’t do this to me. Please, let this not be a joke_. 

And as if the heavens heard his prayer, the answer came in a hoarse, “J-Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung almost burst out crying right there and then. It felt unreal – Jaebum frowning at him. It seemed so long since he last saw his husband’s face alive with an expression. 

Jinyoung instantly tightened his grip on his husband’s hand, intertwining their fingers – refusing to let Jaebum slip again. “Jaebum, oh God, _Jaebum_.” 

“Where am I?” Jaebum asked groggily and tried to sit up but hissed immediately. “Fuck, that hurt.”

“Where? Where does it hurt?” Jinyoung frantically asked, surveying the Don from top to bottom. 

“My back,” his husband replied and Jinyoung saw how his eyes widened in a semblance of panic. “Jinyoung, what’s going on? Why can’t I move?”

“What do you mean?” Jinyoung squeezed Jaebum’s hand. 

“I can’t fucking sit and my back hurts. What’s going on? Where the fuck are we?” Jaebum demanded. 

Jinyoung should have been offended with the way Jaebum was so aggressive but the fact that his husband could _afford_ to – he just felt relieved. That and he missed Jaebum so much. All of him. Even his foul personality. 

“Calm down,” he said. “We’re in the hospital. You were hurt.”

“I’m what?” The furrow between the Don’s brows deepened. Silence enveloped them for a minute and Jinyoung allowed it. Jaebum seemed to be confused and needed time to remember what went down, and Jinyoung – he needed time to calm himself. His husband was awake. 

His Jaebum was back. 

Recognition made its way to the Don’s face and the sharp eyes that never failed to cut right through Jinyoung widened in panic once more. “Yongguk,” Jaebum started, “Chulsoo. Fuck! Where are the others? Jackson?”

Jaebum’s breathing became rapid and the monitors still attached to him began beeping in alarm, signaling high heart rates and rising blood pressure. 

“Jaebum, look at me,” Jinyoung said, “Calm down. Please, our friends are alright. They’re not hurt. _Please_ , calm down.”

Jaebum must have sensed the desperation in Jinyoung’s voice because he complied, the monitors quieting down to steady _beep, beep, beep._  

“The famiglia? How’s the famiglia? Where’s my phone, I need to call Jackson,” Jaebum looked around for the device and found it on the table across the room, along with his other personal things. “Can you get the phone for me, Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung pursed his lips. This was not the reunion he imagined happening. He thought Jaebum would be happy he was the first person he saw upon waking up. He hoped his husband would be overwhelmed with the feeling of finally being together again, just like he was. Jinyoung assumed the Don would be relieved he was alive and safe and stayed after all that had happened. 

Jinyoung was once again slapped in the face that he was second. 

Of course, Jaebum would seek out his brother. Of course, the famiglia would be the first thing in his mind. Of course, he was not the priority. 

Never mind that _he_ was ecstatic about all the possibilities that came with Jaebum finally waking up. 

“Jinyoung?” Jaebum asked, tone soft this time around and laced with worry. “Is there something wrong? You look, I don’t know, hurt.” The machinery in the room suddenly began beeping loud again, and Jaebum looked pale, ghastly, more alarmed than seconds ago. “ _Fuck!_ Are you hurt? Oh God, tell me you’re okay.”

Jinyoung watched in horror as Jaebum forced himself to sit up, groaning in frustration as he almost fell off the bed – the lines and tubes attached to him getting pulled and dislodged. Jinyoung was fortunately quick enough to push the IV stand away from the bed as it toppled and almost fell over his husband; its connection to the Don’s inner arm detached and bled. 

Jinyoung winced as he realised that he had completely disregarded his crutches and used his bad foot to steady and plant himself to the ground.

“What are you doing?” He exclaimed and pushed his husband down on the bed. There was a sense of wildness in Jaebum’s eyes. His husband looked frenzied and it took Jinyoung’s body weight pressed on the man to prevent further damage to both the hospital equipment and his husband. “Jaebum!”

“Fuck, fuck, _fuck_ , Jinyoung. Please tell me you’re okay.” Jaebum searched for his eyes, pleading – hand going to cup his face and smoothing over his cheek, blood dripping out from the puncture in his arms. Desperation was evident in Jaebum’s voice when he said, “Tell me I didn’t come too late. Tell me they didn’t break you.”

“Oh, Jaebum,” Jinyoung whimpered – unexplainable emotions swirling in his gut, making him want to vomit. “You came just in time.” He whispered, “Just in time.” 

Then, Jinyoung’s lips wobbled in his efforts to keep the incoming tears at bay. “I-I just,” he clutched his husband’s hand tighter, almost like a vise, and laid his head on the other’s abdomen in a poor attempt to hide his patheticness. Jinyoung took a deep steadying breath and continued, “I missed you. So much. I wasn’t sure if you were going to come. It’s been days and they said,” Jinyoung faltered, “T-they said you weren’t going to. And I believed them.”

Just as he said the words, the dam broke. He was not able to endure the pressure that built behind his eyes and in his heart; the tears found their way out of him and dripped down to his cheeks, his chin – to Jaebum’s face. “I mean, that wasn’t far fetched, right? I wasn’t sure I was worth saving. Jihyun said so,” his voice hitched. “They all said so.”

Jaebum scowled and the hand on Jinyoung’s jaw stopped caressing. Pressure built until the Don was gripping, “Why would you? Haven’t I been clear enough? Jinyoung,-” Jaebum caught himself and took a deep breath before confessing, “ _Tesoro_ , I was livid! I’d been a madman ready to risk _everything_ for you. Saving you had been the only goal. Nothing else.”

The hand digging on his face lightened and pushed back through his hair until he felt fingers card through the locks. “Jinyoung, I’m sorry,” Jaebum sighed. “The fami-”

“The famiglia always comes first,” he finished for Jaebum with a sigh. “I _know_.”

“But that’s not it anymore, tesoro,” Jaebum tenderly smiled at him which downright made Jinyoung forget the basic mechanics of breathing; the air from his lungs swished out in a whoop. _Impossible,_ Jinyoung thought. However, Jaebum pressed on with the final blow, “ _You_ come first to me now. You’re my priority.”

Jaebum had said it so simply, as if it did not rock his world. As if the declaration did not feel like a tsunami hitting him full force and claiming him for the vast sea – to drown.

“What?” He asked shaking his head _no_ in utter disbelief.

Jaebum smirked – _ah, it’s back. He’s really back_ , Jinyoung wailed internally as his crying became heavier – and said, “As much as I care about Jackson and the rest, I care about you more. You’re my husband, tesoro. You’re number one now, happy?”

Jinyoung buried his face into his husband’s stomach again and held himself back from screaming like a teenage girl. He could not believe what he had heard. It felt like the earth stopped spinning and threw him off axis. _Impossible._ He was about to go insane from the whiplash of emotions; he felt like standing on the the ledge with only one sane leg. 

Jaebum exhaled disappointedly, “You should know I want your face against mine instead of my stomach. Unless you’re going to lick.”

Jinyoung groaned and wiped the tears from his eyes, “One would think the brain surgery and near death would change your personality but I guess not. You’re still insufferable.”

Jaebum hummed and chuckled, placing a hand on his head once again and resumed carding through his hair. He heard a heavy exhale before Jaebum’s solemn voice accompanied the harsh drumming of the rain outside and the high beep of alarms still ongoing from the monitors. “I don’t know how to make you understand, tesoro. You say you miss me but you don’t know just how much I worried for you. Still worry for you. Just now, the thought of you hurt from the shit that happened,” Jaebum clicked his tongue, “It fucking sent me to panic. See how much you mean to me?”

Jinyoung was in no way ready to hear the words his husband just said. He did not want to do it again, the fear of being abandoned and uncertain – it messed him up. However, Jaebum was telling him he meant a lot and it was making him hope again.

“Well, I _am_ hurt,” he said to divert the conversation onto safer grounds, away from his insecurities and vulnerable feelings. “I don’t know if you can see it but my leg got fucked.”

“What?” Jaebum cursed and once again tried to sit up. “Fucking shit, I can’t move. How bad is your leg?”

“Bad bad. But it’s been taken care of now. Though I think I damaged it a bit trying to save you from the IV stand.”

Jaebum frowned, “You should take better care of yourself.”

“It’s all your fault though. If you didn’t panic and almost killed yourself, I wouldn’t have to do any saving,” Jinyoung countered. “Speaking of which,” he frowned at the ugly wound the IV insert left on his husband’s arm. “I should probably call the nurses. Why aren’t they rushing in when all these monitors are beeping? What if I wasn’t here and something bad happened?”

Jaebum hushed him, “I’m fine. Don’t leave.”

Jinyoung’s heart stuttered and held the Don’s hand again. “I won’t. The others tried to make me and they failed. What makes you think I’ll leave you now?”

A wave of silence passed over them as Jaebum eyed him with an expression he could not decipher before saying, “Kiss me?”

Jinyoung felt his face heat up, the tips of his ears burning. _That_ was definitely unexpected. “Oh my God, Jaebum!”

“What?” His husband raised a brow, “I can’t move, you can. I told you, you mean a lot to me. I like you more than you think I do.”

Jinyoung’s heart pounded wildly in his chest, as if trying to burst from _giddiness_. He wanted to hide his face from Jaebum’s expectant stare but his husband prevented him by cupping his face again, saying firmly with no ounce of hesitation, “Kiss me.”

Jinyoung did not know what possessed him, maybe the immense relief or the extreme joy he felt at Jaebum’s words, but despite his still intact morals, the voice whispering to him to think for a second – he went and clasped their intertwined hands tighter and used his other to steady himself as he lowered down, face inches from his Don. 

At the short distance they were in, it was hard to miss the glint in Jaebum’s eyes. A sign of life that he had missed very dearly, something that had been absent for what seemed like years instead of days. He still could not believe his husband was back. That Jaebum returned to him. That they were finally together again. 

He pressed his lips against Jaebum’s dry and chapped ones – and like a man stuck wandering in a dark forest, Jinyoung finally saw a glimpse of light. Or perhaps that was just another lightning cruising across the sky. 

Jaebum clung onto his lips like a man dried out in the desert and he was an oasis. Jinyoung liked it very much – that they were both desperate for each other, seeking one another out like their lives depended on it. He found it funny, the thought that perhaps Jaebum woke up for him; maybe it was his husband’s will to be with him again that released him from the hold of death. 

Jinyoung revelled in the idea. Perhaps he, too, did the saving. 

“Jae-Jaebum,” he moaned when the Don bit his lower lip. He opened up, like a flower in bloom, restraining nothing. He gave and gave and gave. 

Jaebum let out an animalistic rumble, deep and vibratory. “ _Tesoro_ ,” was all that was said before the kiss deepened. 

Their kiss felt both rushed and slowed, aggressive yet tender. There was something about the way they were kissing that reminded Jinyoung of the center of the storm, the eye where time and space stopped while the surrounding continued with chaos. 

It felt different from their previous kisses. It might be due to the longing and the relief that overwhelmed him – God, Jinyoung hoped it overwhelmed Jaebum too – but the way their lips meld together, the manner their tongues more than just slid against each other, where Jinyoung was sure he heard promises of a future together – it was different. 

Something like grace given to them after enduring so much pain. Something akin to a blessing, a beacon of hope. Something divine. Providence. 

And suddenly, it was clear. Jinyoung had never been so sure until now. There was no other future for him, no other option. It was all about the man under him, kissing him to oblivion and running lithe fingers on his sides. There will be no other person who could make him feel like how Jaebum made him feel – drowning yet free. 

Finally, the freedom he had been craving all his life, it was now in his grasp.

He felt like a bird finally out of its cage and was soaring across the infinite sky. But the emotion, the strength of his sentiments towards his husband – it drowned him until he was shaking and trembling and crying again. 

“Jinyoung, baby, what’s wrong?” Jaebum pulled away and took a good look at his face. “Is your leg hurting? Tell me.”

And Jinyoung could not help it anymore. He needed to let it off his chest and take that final step. 

He had to tell Jaebum he loved him. 

He opened his mouth to utter the three words that will change them irreversibly – however, the door to their room burst open and a team of nurses rushed in. 

Jinyoung almost fell off the bed and hurt himself when he disentangled himself from his husband as quick as he could, and with more force than necessary because what the fuck – how can he be caught atop his husband on a hospital bed after an intense session of emotional liplocking by a bunch of healthcare staffs. His face burned and if it was not for the nurse that steadied him from his almost crash to the floor, then he would have lain dead in embarrassment. 

Jaebum, on the other hand, just groaned and tried to pull him back to their previous position, chest flushed against each other. But Jinyoung will not have any of Jaebum’s antics. He cursed under his breath – even after days of being in comatose, the Don’s perversion did not go away. 

“Can you all please fucking get out?” Jaebum snapped. 

“No! Please, don’t!” Jinyoung hastily exclaimed. Jaebum gave him an incredulous look, something that almost looked like betrayal, but he ignored it. “Yeah, he’s made a bit of a fuss upon waking up, yes. Please check up on him, the monitors haven’t stopped beeping for a while now. And the IV, uhm, yeah, the stand fell and the bag split open,” he said as he fought against the shame and scratched his nape, “Oh and his arm? It’s bleeding.”

The nurse who saved him eyed him for a bit before awkwardly nodding and asking him to give them space to check on the Don. 

As if his face was not burning enough, he realised that he was still straddling Jaebum. _God, kill me now_. He did not even know how he got in the position!

Jinyoung immediately scampered off, not without difficulties as his foot was starting to hurt and feel a bit off. “Ugh, I think I messed my foot up? I kind of forced it to stand a while ago and it’s feeling a bit weird right now.”

The other nurses assisted him graciously on clambering down Jaebum’s form. “We’ll arrange for an X-ray, sir.”

“Go get him the damned X-ray now,” Jaebum snapped, mood obviously sour and Jinyoung resisted the urge to roll his eyes because trust his husband to be petty over stuff like missing a make out session – even if it was in the face of their well-being.  “What the fuck are you going to arrange? This is my hospital and I’m telling you to go get him X-rayed _now_. If his leg worsened, I swear to God-”

“Jaebum!” Jinyoung cut his husband’s tirade. “You shouldn’t treat them like that! They’re here to help. And it’s your fault, anyways.”

Jaebum looked at him dumbfounded, “Excuse me? Me?”

“Yes,” Jinyoung huffed, “You made me step on my bad foot. It’s your fault,” he clicked his tongue and politely accepted the crutches handed to him by one of the nurses, “I’m going to call for Mark. Relay the news that you’re awake.”

He turned on his heel and followed the nurse that would help him to the radiology department. 

“Jinyoung!” He heard Jaebum call out for him, annoyance laced underneath. “You can’t fucking turn your back on me like that!”

Jinyoung smiled. His confession had been interrupted but maybe it was for the best. He still wanted to tell Jaebum how he felt but not now. Maybe after planning it more. He wanted it to be as meaningful for Jaebum as it was for him. 

Jinyoung would have to make sure Jaebum at least felt even an inch the same about him. Because even if he loved the man, Jinyoung would not be able to take a rejection graciously. It would devastate him. 

Yes, they were already married. Jaebum could not drop him even if he wanted, which Jinyoung doubted because his husband _did_ save him from the clasp of Yongguk, Chulsoo and Jintae. He trusted the man. After all, the Don risked the famiglia for him. But a love confession? That was a different thing. He still did not know how Jaebum would react if real, raw feelings were involved in their relationship. 

So, he needed to make sure Jaebum was comfortable enough to not freak out. He wanted to be careful.

He would wait for the right opportunity to say the words. He felt positive, there was hope and promises of a better relationship since apparently – he had been promoted to being Jaebum’s priority. 

 

 

__________

 

 

Jaebum did not mind having Jinyoung all over him even if he just awoke from a long, dreamless, dark slumber. He did not mind having his husband straddle him on a hospital bed even when he could not move his trunk due to a weird, numbing sensation from his back. Jinyoung was his tesoro and he did not mind having the latter’s weight on him. 

What he did mind, though, was Jackson climbing to lie beside him and smother him in a tight embrace – with, of course, him being almost squashed underneath his brother’s solid weight. 

“Yah! Get off me,” he protested as he tried to remove Jackson’s arms around him. “I’m a patient!”

Jackson seemed to take his complaints as signal to only cling more. “I’m your brother! You can’t kick me out of bed when I missed you so fucking much! Ask Mark, he’s witness to _my_ suffering.”

Mark chuckled from his position at the foot of the bed, perched there while looking fondly over them. “I was victim to his sulking, alright. But I agree with him, you can’t kick us out. We missed you, Jaebum.”

Jaebum frowned but relented, going pliant against Jackson. He knew all too well just how made men worried over their loved ones; just how _they_ worried over each other. He must have driven the two crazy. “It’s the witching hour. Why are you even here? And what about mom? Does she know?”

Jackson only shook head and buried himself deeper into Jaebum, humming contently, to which Mark giggled, finding Jackson adorable, and answered, “No, she doesn’t know. We wanted to verify it ourselves before we wake her up. Do I call her now?”

“No,” he said, “Let her sleep. I’m sure she’s tired.” Jaebeom did not have to be told to know that Hyejin probably worried for him round the clock. The woman fussed over him and Jackson, even Mark, on a daily basis so he could only imagine the anxiety he had made his mother feel. Guilt grew in his chest as it dawned on him that he had worried a lot of people. “I know both of you are tired too. Go home and sleep. I’m not going anywhere,” he said with sarcasm. 

During the time Jinyoung left and before his brother and Mark arrived, Jaebum was briefed by the doctor on his condition. A range of emotion went through him, the strongest being downright murderous when he learned about his friends’ injuries – it was easy to coerce the doctor into giving out patient files; he owned the hospital after all, amongst many others – especially Youngjae’s. It was hard to comprehend that his younger friend had sustained such severe injuries, to the point where death had been an option. Then came Jackson’s full medical report. 

He learned that Jackson suffered through serious injuries as well and had been almost dead when the medics came. It was all thanks to Mark’s first aid that Jackson had been able to sustain for a few hours before arriving at the hospital. 

Jaebum did not care much about his well-being. The doctor explained that his back injury had been really serious, along with his brain haemorrhage which was also fucking serious, was the reason why he could not sit up. He had been told that he was damned lucky the knife did not go through his spine and missed the nerve bodies just beside it. Otherwise, he would have been paralysed forever. _Useless_. However, it still stood that he would have to undergo months of vigorous physical therapy to recover. And aside from the annoyance he got from thinking of all the hassle it will bring – he did not feel much about his condition. The damage was done and there was no way to reverse his situation. He just needed to suck it up and adhere to protocol. 

What fucking irritated him was that he was absent during the time his famiglia needed a leader. What good was he if slept through the crucial times? It fucking frustrated him. 

And Jinyoung. Just hearing the doctor say the procedures they did to his husband, Jaebum was ready to commit another killing spree. 

“How are you, Jackson?” Jaebum asked to divert his mind somewhere else and finally draped an arm back over his brother who just groaned in frustration. 

“Stop being a big brother and let _me_ worry over _you_ ,” the underboss whined. “You’re always trying to worry over me even when you’re the one stuck in bed and just woke up from a coma! You’re annoying.”

Jaebum pinched Jackson’s arm hard and smiled when his brother yelped in pain. “I _am_ your hyung. Respect me.” He then turned to look at his consigliere who was watching them with amusement. “How are you, Mark?”

“I’m still with Jackson on this. Let us worry over you,” his friend smiled encouragingly and Jaebum was seconds away from lashing on them because why were they being difficult. Mark continued, “But to answer your question, I’m alright. Nothing’s wrong with me, just tired. So goddamned tired. Jackson’s not Don material. I’m fucking glad you’re back.”

“Hey!” Jackson exclaimed from his position, still wrapped tightly all over Jaebum, and the scream made the Don wince – Jaebum was uncertain if he missed Jackson’s loudness or not. “I’m doing amazing as Don. You can’t just say that because you’re biased towards Jaebum!”

Mark raised a brow, “I think we’ve established that you’re my favourite brother?”

Jaebum’s eyes widened in surprise. Mark, his best friend for _years_ , had never voiced out his sentiments towards Jackson and their ambiguous relationship. The only thing he got from Mark when he asked him years before was a shrug. His consigliere was a private person and easily clammed up when pressed. It had always been Jackson’s side of the story that he got, since his brother could never keep a secret from him. But now – Mark willingly professed preference towards his brother. Fucking unbelievable. 

“Did something happen when I was knocked out?” He inquired and turned head to look at Jackson. However, his brother was as wide eyed as him. _Interesting,_ he thought. 

“M-Mark,” Jackson stuttered and then groaned for the nth time, “Dammit! You’re not fucking doing this in front of Jaebum.”

Mark just rolled eyes in response to his brother’s embarrassed squeals. “Don’t mind that moron, Jaebum. It’s just, we’re getting _there_. We’re talking, like really talking. Nothing to fuss over.”

Jaebum mulled over Mark’s words and thought that at least, some fucking good came out of the whole mess they made. He had always rooted for his brother’s happiness and he hoped to God that Jackson was finally happy.

“If you say so,” he replied, letting the matter be. He trusted Jackson and Mark to open up to him when they become ready. They always worked like that. Trust and respect. Famiglia codes. 

Besides, he needed to get back on business. So Jaebum continued, voice lowering an octave and back with his usual seriousness, “Now, update me on the mafia.”

It might not been long since he was back but Jaebum had to resume his place as Don.

 

 

__________

 

 

Jinyoung was relieved when his cast was finally removed, a week after Jaebum came back from coma. It had been good news that when he was brought for X-ray to check if he had damaged his foot, they found out that the bones had started to fuse instead. He did not know how his body did it but he was glad nonetheless. 

He still had to attend therapy sessions to strengthen his muscles, regain the movements lost and promote bone healing. It would still be months before he could recover fully and engage in more strenuous activities but that was fine with him since he was not much of an active person anyways. The doctor had reprimanded him from any form of extreme and contact sports to which he laughed because he had never been a sporty person in the first place. 

Also, he had the opportunity to accompany Jaebum to the Don’s own therapy sessions and it was always worth it to witness his husband get frustrated over failing the normal stuff he usually did without difficulties. 

Currently, though, Jinyoung waited for Jaebum to come back from wherever Mark and Jackson took him. He was against the idea of Jaebum going back to the mafia – it was too _soon_. His husband still could not move properly and was bound to a wheelchair. However, Jaebum insisted that he had to work and set things right before another mess came up. Jinyoung asked to come along for good measure. He needed to see for himself that his husband was not getting into serious trouble again; he wanted to be around Jaebum especially when their whole reality was crashing back with full force. 

He volunteered to wheel Jaebum around but was rejected. Jackson had recovered enough to be free of his own wheelchair so he and Mark could do the wheeling. And no matter how much Jinyoung pleaded, Jaebum just smiled at him and promised to take necessary precautions to prevent re-injuring himself. 

Jinyoung vowed to himself that the next time famiglia duties arose, he would be more adamant in tagging along. After all, he decided to involve himself into Jaebum’s world more actively.

His musings were interrupted when the door opened and Jaebum came in wheeled by two medical staffs. The Don was wearing a deep set scowl and he watched as the two staffs transferred Jaebum to bed – his husband’s scowl growing deeper and more permanent. 

Jinyoung waited for the medical personnel to leave the room before asking his husband, “Why are you furious? Is something wrong?”

Jaebum let out a loud and angry sigh, “Nothing.”

Jinyoung pursed his lips and debated if he should press on the matter or just let it slide. After all, Jaebum had always been privy about famiglia business. But he reminded himself, _I promised to be more involved_. So he replied, “Come on, talk to me. You know I want to help, right?”

Jaebum appeared to contemplate his words. “You really want to help?”

Jinyoung nodded in earnest. 

“Then how about you come over here and fuck yourself on my dick?”

Jinyoung froze for a few seconds before throwing the hospital pillow he was hugging at Jaebum, not without yelling, “Oh my God! Jaebum!”

“So will you or will you not, tesoro? I need to relieve stress,” his husband said with all seriousness a businessman sealing a million dollar deal would have. 

Jinyoung wanted to scream but held himself back because they were in a fucking hospital. A place for recuperation and healing. Absolutely not a place for copulation. They had already crossed the line when they made out none too many times over the past week. But intercourse – God bless his soul. 

“You can’t be serious, Jaebum! We’re in a hospital!

Jaebum sighed and clicked tongue, “Yes. A hospital that I _own_.”

“You’re hurt! You can barely move, how are we even going to do it?” Jinyoung was almost at his wit’s end. 

“You’re still answering me with dumb questions, huh?” Jaebum’s mouth pursed in what looked like distaste, “Haven’t you heard me? I said, fuck yourself over with my cock. Meaning, I want you to do the work because I damn well can’t.”

Jinyoung fidgeted, unsure of what to do. On one hand, he really missed being intimate with Jaebum and the kissing action they had over the week just made his _yearning_ accumulate. It had been too long already since the last time they had sex. On the other hand, they were in a fucking hospital for goodness’ sake. It was just wrong. And his husband was angry for some reason. 

“Hurry up, will you?”

Jinyoung glared at his husband. “Can you please wait for a minute? I’m trying to make a decision here.”

Jaebum sighed. “Do you want to have sex with me?”

It took him a few beats before nodding, face burning bright crimson as he answered, “Yes.”

“Then that’s it,” Jaebum clicked his tongue. “Now come on and make me happy. Make us both happy.”

“I hate you,” Jinyoung hissed but then proceeded to run to the door to make sure it was locked. He would not be caught fucking in a hospital. He still had dignity. 

He watched as a deadly glint danced in Jaebum’s eyes. “Go on, undress me.”

Jinyoung narrowed his eyes to which Jaebum only chuckled in response. At least his husband’s mood seemed to improve. _Jesus_ , Jinyoung internally groaned. _Was Jaebum just really horny? So horny it drove him furious?_

Undressing Jaebum has been tricky since his husband could only afford to do minimal movements with his trunk and legs. The damage the knife wound left Jaebum’s back muscles very weak and the period he was left comatose only made him grow weaker. 

“I’m only agreeing to this if you promise you’re not mad anymore.” Jinyoung refused to have sex with an angry Jaebum. He wanted them both to be into the moment and enjoy each other. Also, it had been a long time since he had last saw Jaebum naked. And it was driving him insane. Crazy insane. He did not want Jaebum to impulsively throw a word or two in the middle of sex that would ruin it for them. 

“You’re impossible, Jinyoung,” Jaebum groaned. “Fine, you win. I’m not mad anymore. Actually, I wasn’t really mad at anything serious to begin with. I just, Mark and Jackson are the worst and won’t stop making out every fucking where. Makes me furious that I can’t have you.”

Jinyoung blushed bright red and stopped his activities to stare wide eyed at his husband. So he was correct – Jaebum was just _really_ horny. He prayed for mercy. 

“Why are you acting so fucking shy? You’re not a virgin, need I remind you.”

Jinyoung gasped and slapped Jaebum in the chest. “You’re so annoying. You haven’t changed a bit.”

“Yeah, yeah. So can you please take off your clothes too? If only I can move properly, the things I would do to you,” Jaebum smirked. 

Jinyoung hushed Jaebum before the other could speak further and make the whole situation more embarrassing. He dropped his pants off and removed his shirt. 

“Ah, I missed that,” Jaebum said with a sigh, gesturing towards his almost naked form. “You’re still so beautiful, tesoro. Now, come off with the underwear. You won’t need that.”

Jinyoung could not be any redder. He blushed all the way from his neck to the tips of his ears. He could not believe himself for indulging Jaebum’s perversion. 

He climbed atop the bed and straddled Jaebum, legs on both sides of his husband’s thighs and sitting just right in front of Jaebum’s penis, which he noted was half hard already. 

“You’re really a pervert,” he said as he grasped Jaebum’s cock in his hand, “It turns you on that we’re doing it in a hospital?”

Jaebum only hummed, “That plays a part. But mostly, I just miss you.”

Jinyoung’s heart stuttered, not at all prepared to hear his husband’s comment. “Me or my body? I think you’re just desperate for sex since you’ve gone without for a while.” He moved his hand up and down Jaebum’s shaft and smiled when it earned him a blissful hiss. He tightened his grip and flicked his wrist the way he remembered Jabeum liked. 

“I’m desperate to fuck you, that’s what,” Jaebum groaned. “One thing though, we don’t have lube. Use your spit.”

Jinyoung should have thought everything through before agreeing with Jaebum but it was already too late. He was already hard as well. So Jinyoung did what he was told to do – he spat on his palm and rubbed the saliva all over Jaebum’s cock until it was sticky and messy. 

Still not contented with the amount of saliva, an idea crossed his head. Jaebum needed to relieve stress; Jaebum wanted him to help. He only had one purpose and that was to take care of his husband. 

So he inched lower and brought his mouth to engulf Jaebum’s hard cock. Jaebum groaned above him and gave the tiniest buck of hips. 

“God, Jinyoung,” Jaebum said breathily, “You’re amazing, tesoro.”

Jinyoung smiled and bobbed his head up and down Jaebum’s dick with vigour. They were already doing it in the hospital, might as well give his best and make Jaebum feel good. Any amount of shyness that was left in him quickly disappeared, gone when he tasted Jaebum again. _God, how he missed him._

He let saliva pool and drip out of his mouth, making it as messy as he could and sucked Jaebum’s cock to the best of his abilities. He hollowed his mouth and swirled his tongue, giving kitten licks at the slit whenever he bobs up. His hand went to massage Jaebum’s balls which he missed just as much. 

Jinyoung focused on breathing through his nose and when he felt ready, he dove in deeper – letting the tip of Jaebum’s dick hit the back of his throat. 

“Jesus Christ,” Jaebum cursed, hands going to Jinyoung’s hair and grasping the locks tightly. “Fuck, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung liked the way Jaebum was pulling at his hair roughly. It might be an acquired taste; his husband must have passed it on to him but the slight pain – Jinyoung loved it. 

He carefully bared his teeth and scraped it along Jaebum’s shaft, remembering that one time Jaebum confessed to liking the pain. He was proven correct when Jaebum only groaned, more like growled if Jinyoung was being specific, and pushed his face closer – forcing him to deep throat Jaebum even more. 

He sputtered and gagged, eyes getting watery as spit continued to run down his chin and to the penis attached to his mouth. 

Jinyoung pulled away and wiped at the corner of his eyes, wheezing and trying to regain normal breathing. “That hurt,” he pouted.

Jaebum at least had the decency to look guilty, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I just forgot how much of an animal you are,” Jinyoung said. They stared silently for a bit at each other before he continued, “So, uhh, I guess I’ll have to prepare myself?”

Jaebum loudly groaned and Jinyoung saw his dick twitch, “You can’t just go on saying things like that! Just so you wait, I’ll punish you good, tesoro. You have no idea what you do to me, do you?”

He giggled and went to a kneeling position, “So I take that as a yes?”

Jinyoung did not know where he was getting all the confidence from. Perhaps it was because he knew Jaebum could not move as he will. Perhaps the thrill of doing it in a public space was starting to get to him. Whatever the reason was, Jinyoung felt high. 

However, when he gazed back down at Jaebum, his husband was staring right _through_ him with a dark expression that was almost sinister. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Jinyoung, they didn’t hurt you _that_ way, right? They didn’t touch you?”

Jinyoung stilled and clenched his fists. He had asked Jaebum to refrain from bringing his kidnapping period into the table. He wanted to erase the memory. “No, they didn’t.”

“Okay, I was just making sure that this,” Jaebum gestured towards their naked bodies, “That this is all you. That they didn’t mess your head up. That this is because you want me too.”

Jinyoung could not be more in love. Trust Jaebum to _always_ consider his well-being on top of other things. He was really starting to believe he was Jaebum’s priority. 

Warmth spread through his chest and he dipped down to place a chaste kiss on Jaebum’s lips. “Thank you.”

_I love you._

The words were at the tip of his tongue. Just a little bit more and they would tumble out like a waterfall. 

“Please continue,” Jaebum said, tone lighting up and a smirk forming at his beautiful face. “My dick is so fucking hard, Jinyoung. Do something about it.”

The whiplash of emotions, it was exhausting. Jinyoung definitely forgot how much hold Jaebum had on him. The Don played with his feelings like a light switch. 

He sighed. Maybe next time. He would confess next time. 

Instead, Jinyoung nodded and got to a kneeling position. He grinned as another idea crossed his head – he could not be the only one getting dehydrated from all of the spitting; Jaebum needed to put a little effort too. 

He held his fingers in front of his husband and coyly asked, “Would you suck my fingers?”

Jaebum’s eyes widened before letting out a hearty, bellowing laugh. “Goddammit, tesoro. Warn a man before you pull something _that_ sexy, okay?”

Jinyoung beamed as Jaebum took his index and middle fingers to suck. He had always imagined what it was about finger sucking that turned his husband on but now that their position was reversed and Jaebum was the one coating his fingers with saliva – Jinyoung could feel his own erection pulsating harder. Add to that the intense stare Jaebum was giving to him as tongue brushed all over his digits. 

Yes, _this_ was easier. Jinyoung had not known it then but their bodies spoke more than their mouths did. A nagging voice at the back of Jinyoung’s mind told him that he should not delay his confession but Jaebum’s sultry gaze and slick tongue drowned out the voice. 

He groaned and withdrew his hand. “I think that’s enough,'' Jinyoung mumbled, face burning more than he thought was humanly possible. 

Jaebum continued to watch him intently as he pushed a finger past his rim, the feeling making him hiss from the unfamiliarity and _excitement_. He plunged the digit knuckle deep and wiggled it a bit. Once he was comfortable enough, he inserted another, stretching it like he remembered – scissoring and digging into his flesh like how Jaebum did eons ago. 

He picked up the pace and fucked himself on his fingers, head throwing back from the pressure building in his abdomen, cock raging hard against his stomach. 

Jaebum groaned, “Jesus Christ, fuck, you’re beautiful, tesoro. Fucking gorgeous.”

Jinyoung preened at the compliment and decided he had enough of his fingers. They were no match to his husband’s dick. 

He positioned himself atop Jaebum’s hips, aligning his husband’s thick and hard appendage with his hole. The contact of the tip to his rim made both of them hiss. 

“Sink down, tesoro, let me fill you up,” Jaebum panted. His husband looked wild with want and anticipation, and Jinyoung could not help but feel elated that it was his ministrations that did it. 

He slowly sat and let Jaebum’s cock penetrate him. Jinyoung impaled himself on Jaebum and _Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m going to cry_ , he internally lamented. 

He forgot how big Jaebum was, how good his husband filled him. He felt stuffed to the brim; suffocated. 

“Jinyoung, breathe. Focus on breathing,” Jaebum encouraged and he did just that. 

He took some time to get used to the feeling of being ripped apart, hands planting on Jaebum’s chest to steady himself. 

His husband’s hands went to his side, staking claim and bruising. He also forgot how firm, how harsh Jaebum gripped. Jinyoung was being reacquainted with everything Jaebum, and saying he was overwhelmed by it will be an understatement. 

Like that kiss they shared, he was drowning again. 

After adjusting to the dick inside him, Jinyoung started to move. He rolled his hips and gasped everytime Jaebum’s cock brushed his prostate. He moaned and whimpered, clawing at his husband’s chest. 

“Fuck, Jinyoung, baby,” Jaebum groaned, “Feel so tight, so fucking good.”

Jinyoung felt the same. Jaebum was reaching deep within him, he felt him in his gut. _So fucking good_. 

He adjusted his kneeling and lifted his pelvis only to slam in back down. Jaebum’s hand went from his sides to his butt, gripping at the cheeks so damned hard, Jinyoung feared it would bleed. 

“Jaebum,” he moaned, “ _Jaebum_.”

“Right fucking here, tesoro.”

He continued impaling himself, harder and harder at every go. Jaebum tried his best to meet him halfway, hips bucking up a little to make the contact rougher. 

They set a pace and ran with it. Sweat dripping from their foreheads and coating their bodies. Jaebum’s monitors had been removed and unlike the previous week where the room only heard beeping – this time, it was echoing with skin slapping and desperate breathing. The room felt too hot despite the air conditioning. 

“Tesoro, I’m going to fucking cum,” Jaebum warned, hips stuttering and grip on Jinyoung’s asscheeks growing tighter. 

“Inside me,” Jinyoung whispered and leaned down to kiss his husband. God, he was _ruined_. This was not just sex for him anymore; something shifted and made it different. He needed intimacy. He begged for it, “Cum in me, Jaebum.”

And so Jaebum did, filling him up with hot cum deeply. He felt so _full_ , Jinyoung swore his digestive system had to literally be fucked up. 

He cummed as well with an embarrassing mewl, decorating both their bodies with the white sticky substance. It was a mess. They were both a mess. 

He collapsed on top of Jaebum then, raggedly breathing and trying to calm his senses down. 

“Missed you,” he mumbled exhaustedly, burying his face in the crook of Jaebum’s neck. “So tired. Hurry up and get better.”

Jaebum chuckled and brought a finger to his shoulder, tracing soothing circles. “You can sleep but know that I’m not pulling out, tesoro.”

Jinyoung made a face and peered up at his husband, “You are the most disgusting person ever.”

“Yeah and you love it.”

 _Love you,_ Jinyoung corrected his husband internally. 

Jaebum went for the blanket they discarded at the side and covered them up. “Go on, sleep.”

Jinyoung felt content. He was beside Jaebum again. They had made love, well at least to him. 

His confession would have to wait. For now, however, he was happy. 

He was finally happy. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all...I'm sorry for taking so long to update AGAIN. Things just got busy and well, I had a bit of a lazy phase. So yeah.  
> Secondly, this is the longest chapter I've ever written in my whole life! 10.5k words alkshfgaslkf THIS IS CRAZY  
> ....err, I had a lot of things to say but I suddenly can't remember any of them! Jesus, my memory is shit.  
> JUST - I hope you enjoy this update :DDD  
> That's it! Drop in the comments what you think. or in my cc!! I love love hearing from you guys and honestly? You're like 70% of my motivation to write. so yeah...also! if you wanna see me go crazy over the boys *coughs*constantly express my horniness over them* then go check my twitter :))  
> I really _really_ REALLY hope you liked this chapter!!!

**Author's Note:**

> So how was that?  
> Drop in the comments what you think or you can talk to me at [twitter](https://twitter.com/crudescere) or [cc](https://curiouscat.me/crudescere)  
> Thank you for stopping by!


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